A Different Divergent
by moonshine356
Summary: What if Caleb did as Tris asked and looked into the serums as their mother requested and the war on Abnegation was stopped. This is a no war story with plenty of romance and drama along the way. Based on Veronica Roth's characters from the Divergent trilogy.
1. Chapter 1

**_Will and Christina kiss, a little too sloppily for my taste. All around me is the pounding of Dauntless fists. Then I feel a tap on my shoulder and turn to see Tobias standing behind me. I get up, beaming._**

 ** _"_** ** _You think giving you a hug would give away too much?" he says._**

 ** _"_** ** _You know," I say, "I really don't care." I stand on my tiptoes and press my lips to his. It is the best moment of my life._** When I'm kissing Tobias, time seems to stand still. I swear I could remain here with his lips on mine forever.

Too soon, though, I feel a hand firmly grip my arm and pull me away from him. I turn and see Christina staring open-mouthed with a look of disappointment on her face. _Disappointment?_ What could that be about?

"When? How? Why? Ugh! _TRIS_!" she stutters. "How long has this been going on? Why didn't you say anything to me … _ME_? I told you about Will." I knew when this secret came out she'd be less than pleased with me.

"Listen, _Candor_ ," Tobias starts to say in his intimidating Four voice but I look his way and shake my head slightly, stopping him.

"Christina, I'll tell you whatever you want to know but not here, not now." I was getting ready to say I'd tell her everything but some of the secrets I keep aren't mine to share. "I promise. Tomorrow after breakfast, okay?" This seems to pacify her somewhat.

All this time, Will has been sitting at the table staring open-mouthed at Tobias and me. He must gather his wits because he comes up behind Christina and puts his hands on her waist, steering her away from us.

"Congratulations, Tris," he says to me. Then he turns his attention to Christina. "I think we've taken up enough of Tris' time right now, don't you? There are tons of people wanting to talk to her."

"Yeah, congratulations, Tris," she says, tightly hugging me then she whispers in my ear, "Tomorrow." I silently acknowledge Will with a nod of my head and a smile, and he leads her away. I'm very thankful for him right now. Christina would have grilled me for hours about Tobias. What am I thinking, she _is_ going to grill me for hours when she gets the chance.

I look around and realize Will was right. Surrounding me are dozens of expectant faces, both friend and stranger, waiting to congratulate me. I realize I'm not going to get my wish of kissing Tobias again for the rest of the night and I sigh.

"What's wrong?" he asks, his mouth up against my ear. I can't believe he heard me over the roar of the crowd.

"Nothing," I reply.

For the rest of the night I smile, laugh, and make small talk with hundreds of Dauntless members. I've seen so many new faces and learned so many new names that I'm feeling a bit overwhelmed. All I want to do right now is crawl into my uncomfortable bed back at the dorm and get some much-needed sleep. I had no idea that the fear landscape would act like a time-release sedative. I'm barely able to keep my eyes open. I feel Tobias' hands lightly resting on my hips, and I lean back against his hard chest. I can't believe we're actually alone right now. We haven't had more than two minutes to ourselves all night.

Just then, movement on stage catches my attention. Max, Eric, and the other three Dauntless leaders whose names I never bothered to learn are gathered tightly together. Max is talking very animatedly with his hands. By the way the others are listening and leaning closely toward him, I can tell their discussion is very important. Suddenly Eric's eyes meet mine, and he gives me a cold, ruthless smile. A shiver runs up my spine, and I drag my eyes away from his.

"Cold?" Tobias asks, his mouth by my ear.

"No, but I'm having a hard time keeping my eyes open right now," I admit. Just then two girls with more piercings than I can count start toward us and abruptly turn and walk away. I frown. _I wonder why they did that._ I glance up over my shoulder at Tobias with an inquisitive look, and he's his wearing his fiercest Four mask. I can't help but giggle. "Was that absolutely necessary?"

"Of course. You just told me you can hardly keep your eyes open." He turns me around with his hands and wraps his arms around me, pulling me close to him, relaxing his hands on the small of my back. He looks down into my eyes and says, "Would you like to stay with me tonight? I feel like I haven't had enough time with you today." With his offer, fear bubbles up deep inside. I push it away as quickly as I can hoping he doesn't notice my hesitation.

"Yeah, I'd like that," I say, a shy smile crossing my lips. He unwraps me from his embrace, and we walk hand-in-hand toward his apartment. I'm getting more familiar with the path to his place, I probably could make it on my own now. We're about to turn down his hallway when a voice calls out to Tobias.

"Hey! Four! Got a minute?" A short, slight, brown-skinned man jogs up to us. "Aren't you going to introduce us?" he asks, inclining his head toward me.

"Zeke, this is Tris, my girlfriend," he says, motioning toward me with his hand. I beam when he calls me his girlfriend. "Tris, this is Zeke, one of my closest friends here at Dauntless."

"What do you mean _one of_? I'm his _only_ friend," he guffaws, looking at me. I can't help but join in. His uproarious laugh is contagious.

Tobias rolls his eyes and adds, "He's also Uriah's older brother." At the mention of Uriah, I take a closer look at Zeke and remember him from zip lining.

"You were there the night Uriah took me zip lining," I say.

"I knew you looked familiar. You were fearless that night, didn't make a sound as I pushed you off the roof. I thought Uri was going to cry like a little girl."

"He did sound like a strangled cat!" I say with a laugh.

"Zeke, did you need something?" Tobias asks with what sounds like jealously in his irritated voice.

"Erudite put another unflattering piece out about Abnegation. I thought you should know," he says, serious now, taking a folded piece of paper out of his back pocket. It looks like a computer printout.

Tobias takes the paper and says, "Thanks, man." He glances at it, refolds it, and puts it in his jacket pocket.

"You two have a nice night. I'm off to the control room. Fun, fun!" he says with a silly grin. "Hey, when do you come back to work, Four?" Zeke must work in the control room with Tobias.

"Monday," he replies.

"Well, I'm sure I'll see you before then," he says and then he looks at me. "Congratulations, by the way, on ranking first this year. That's quite an accomplishment. Another thing you two have in common." He smiles brightly at me then turns and sprints off in the direction of the control room, I imagine.

"Another thing in common?" I ask Tobias as we head down the hallway to his apartment.

"We're both from Abnegation, we both ranked first," he says as he unlocks his door. He steps aside to let me step inside first.

"He knows you're from Abnegation?" I ask with a yawn. I don't know why this surprises me.

"Yeah," he says. "He's only one of a handful of people who knows where I transferred from. I'm sure some of my fellow initiates remember but I've made it quite clear over the past two years that it isn't a welcome subject. Most people have let it die." He smiles at me and locks the door behind us. I watch him go directly to his dresser and fish out an old pair of shorts and a t-shirt. He turns and hands them to me.

"You can wear these tonight," he says, "if you want to." That's right, he saw me in the dorm sleeping in my clothes. I also wore my clothes the first night I slept here.

"Okay," I say. "Thanks." I take the clothes and go into his small bathroom to change. I realize I don't have anything else to wear tomorrow so I neatly fold what I'm wearing and stack them on the wide shelf behind the toilet. I put his shorts on and roll the waistband a couple times to keep them from falling back off. I put the t-shirt on, and it comes to just below my knees. When I look at myself in the full-length mirror behind the bathroom door, I blush crimson from head to toe. I look like I don't have any pants on. I take a washcloth from the cabinet and wash my face and "brush" my teeth. I hang the wet washcloth over the frosted glass shower door and retrieve my clothes. I hug them to my chest like a protective shield as I walk out of the bathroom. I feel more exposed than I ever have in my entire life.

Tobias is moving across the room away from me wearing nothing but a pair of black sleep pants. I watch as he leans down and takes two waters out of his mini fridge. I see his tattoo for the second time and study it for a few seconds before turning and putting my pile of clothes on top of his dresser. As I'm about to turn back around, I notice a makeshift bed on the floor.

"You can take the bed," he throatily says. I've never heard him sound like that before. I look over at him. He's still across the room and has a cautious look on his face.

"Tobias, you can't keep giving me your bed," I try to scold but it comes out a little breathy. I wonder why. "That isn't fair to you." He slowly walks towards me and deposits one of the waters on the nightstand. He still has the other one in his hand. He looks in my eyes for a long moment and I shiver.

"I would never let you sleep on the floor, Tris." I can't come up with a response because the look in his eyes has me entirely tongue tied. I nod then I stand on my tiptoes and wrap my arms around his neck to kiss him goodnight. He wraps his arms around my waist and picks me straight up so he doesn't have to lean over. I feel the cold of the water bottle against my lower back. He moves his lips with mine for a few minutes and then sighs into my now open mouth. He takes a few steps, still carrying me and sits me down on the edge of the bed. I slide back and get between the sheets all while watching him. He sets the water down on the floor by the pillow and walks across the room and turns off the lights. Since my eyes haven't adjusted to the darkness yet, I only hear him come back toward the bed and lie down on the floor.

"Good night, Tris," he says. "Sleep well."

"Good night, Tobias."


	2. Chapter 2

When I pry my sleepy eyes open, I don't know where I am, and my heart starts hammering in my chest. I lean up on my elbows and look around. When I see "Fear God Alone" painted on the otherwise plain white wall, I relax and remember I slept at Tobias' place last night. I peek over the side of the bed and see he's still fast asleep on the floor. I watch the steady rise and fall of his chest. He looks so peaceful right now, like he doesn't have a care in the world, but I know better. I heard him in the middle of the night. His father must star in his nightmares. Everyone in Abnegation thinks the rumors that Marcus' son left because of abuse are false, but I know for a fact they're true. I could kill Marcus Eaton for what he put Tobias through. All of a sudden I realize I'm staring into his drowsy dark blue eyes. He smiles up at me, and I blush crimson from being caught looking at him.

"Good morning," he roughly says, his voice still thick with sleep.

"Good morning," I bashfully say. "I didn't mean to stare. I know that's rude."

"Your Abnegation is showing, Tris!" he playfully says as he sits up. He closes his eyes and stretches his arms above his head. I'm sure it's not comfortable sleeping on the hard floor. I watch as the muscles in his arms and chest contract and relax and feel a foreign sensation way down deep in the pit of my stomach. He gets off the floor, grabs an outfit from his dresser, and goes into the bathroom, leaving the door ajar. I realize I'm still staring so I roll over in bed and stare up at the ceiling. There are heating and air-conditioning ducts and electrical conduit stretching lengthwise across the concrete ceiling. I raise my head and look around Tobias' compact apartment, taking everything in. I've never really looked around before. I'm always too busy looking at him.

The outside wall is made of a natural brown-colored stone chiseled into a brick-look pattern and, of course, is windowless since we're underground. The inner walls are made of plasterboard, at least I think that's what it's called, and are painted bright white. The floors are the same material as the ceiling, plain cold gray concrete. Across the apartment is a very small kitchenette. It has a bank of three black-painted wooden cabinets with a mini fridge. There's no stove and no other appliances, except for the lone coffee maker. I guess it makes sense, he always seems to eat in the cafeteria. He has a black metal desk and chair against the wall about six feet in front of the kitchenette with a laptop on it. Across from the bed is the bathroom, which is very basic: White-tile-lined shower, porcelain toilet, sink, mirror, white tile floor, small linen closet. Nothing fancy. Just to the left of the bathroom door is the closet. I saw Tobias hang up his jacket in there last night. And to the left of that is his dresser and mirror still hanging so high I can barely see the top half of my face while standing on my tiptoes. He doesn't have much furniture, not even a couch. I'm still thinking about his lack of a place to sit down when he comes out of the bathroom.

"Tobias, why don't you have more furniture?" I ask. I think this question catches him a bit off guard because he furrows his brows and looks around the room.

"Honestly, I've never needed it. You're the only person I've ever invited over." My brows raise in surprise. This news stuns me.

"You haven't had a guest in _two_ years?" Maybe Zeke wasn't exaggerating about being his only friend. "Not even Zeke?"

"Not even Zeke," he quietly says, slowly shaking his head. "Whenever we get together it's always in the Pit or his place. I've never had much need so I didn't bother. Until recently, I didn't spend much time in my apartment." He walks over and sits down on the bed beside me. He runs his hand through my hair while staring deeply into my eyes. "Why are you asking about furniture, Tris?" Staring into his perfect eyes leaves me at a loss for words. His close proximity sets my heart racing wildly with a mixture of fear and anticipation. My thoughts are coming in jumbles, and I really have to concentrate on his question. _Why_ am _I asking about furniture?_

"It'd be nice if you had another place to sit beside the desk chair or the bed," I say, shyly lowering my eyes. I'm sure my face is bright red. My head feels like it's on fire. "Sitting with you on the bed ... sometimes ... it makes me ... feel..." My words drift off. I'm not sure what it is I'm trying to say anyway.

"Would it make you feel more comfortable having a couch here?"

"Yeah, it really would," I say after a while, ducking my head.

"I'll get a couch delivered here today then," he says. He places a finger on my chin and raises my face so I'm looking into his eyes. "I don't want you to feel uncomfortable here ... ever." He lowers his mouth to mine and gives me a quick kiss. He sighs then moves towards the kitchenette.

I scramble out of bed and hastily make my way to the dresser and pick up my clothes. I go into the bathroom and take a quick yet relaxing shower then redress in yesterday's clothes. I definitely have to change before I meet up with Christina, or I won't be comfortable. Who am I kidding? I won't be comfortable until my morning with her is over.

I come out of the bathroom, and Tobias is lounging on the freshly made bed with his back up against the wall. I see he's reading the paper Zeke gave him last night. He doesn't look up so I go to the bed and sit cross-legged in front of him. It doesn't feel too bad. My anxiety level is in check right now. After a minute, Tobias sighs, puts the paper down, and meets my eyes.

"Bad?" I ask.

"Not really. Just more of the same crap: Secret warehouses, rule breaking, etc." He looks at me with a thoughtful expression on his face. "Did you hear the rumors about Marcus when you were still in Abnegation?"

"Just once, the night before my Choosing Ceremony. My dad was upset about an Erudite report he read that day. He said it was unfairly attacking Marcus' character."

"Did you believe it?"

"Tobias … I only knew what my dad told me." I'm not sure what else to say to him.

"It's okay."

"No, none of this is okay," I say moving closer to him and taking his hands in mine. "I believed that report because, first of all, I believed everything my parents ever told me as being the absolute truth without question and, second of all, I believed the lie, the image Marcus projects to the world. Now I know better; I know the truth. I just don't understand what Jeanine Matthews gets by doing all of this." We sit quietly for a moment pondering the statement. "Have you ever thought since the reports about your father are true that some of the other things they're saying are true? I only know what my parents shared with me."

"No," he says shaking his head. "The other reports seem so off base. They go against everything I saw outside of Marcus' house on a daily basis."

"I know. I feel a little guilty for even suggesting it." A loud knock at the door makes me jump away from Tobias.

"I'm going to have to get that couch soon," he mainly says to himself with a chuckle, shaking his head. He walks to his door, unlocks it, and opens it to two of the largest Dauntless security guards I've ever seen.

"Can I help you?" he asks, magically transforming in front of my eyes from sensitive Tobias to demanding Four.

"Four, your presence is immediately required in Max's office," the one with purple hair and multiple facial piercings says. I wonder what Max could want with Tobias.

"Listen guys, I'm really not interested…" They don't let him finish.

"This is _not_ a request," says the one with dark blonde hair and a realistic-looking snake tattoo coiling around his neck. "Your presence is needed immediately. If you don't come voluntarily, we've been authorized to use force." At that, I get off the bed and walk to the door. Tobias protectively wraps his right arm around my waist, holding me close. Purple-Hair and Snake-Tattoo both look surprised to find me here.

"Tris Prior," Purple Hair says, "we've been looking for you, too. Your presence is also required." I look up at Tobias and his face is blank. I imagine he's as fearful and confused as I am right now but he'll never show it. I square my shoulders and try to wipe all emotion off my face but I'm not sure I manage.

"Can we stop by the cafeteria first?" I ask.

"Breakfast will be provided in Max's office," Snake-Tattoo says, rudely interrupting me.

"You didn't let me finish," I say using my best Four impersonation. Unfortunately, I'm just not that intimidating. "I have plans this morning, and I don't want my friend to worry when I don't show up." Purple-Hair and Snake-Tattoo look at each other for a moment.

"Fine. Go to the cafeteria and talk to your little friend but report to Max's office as soon as possible." I tightly ball my hands up into fists and start to step forward. Neither of these buffoons seem to be taking me seriously. I figure I can knock one of them out before the other can do anything about it. Tobias must know what's running through my mind because he slides his hand up to my shoulder and holds me firmly in place.

"Fine," I finally mutter. I step into the hallway, turn to look at Tobias, and say, "I'll tell Christina I'll meet her later then come to Max's office." I add in a whisper, "Do you have any idea what this is about?" He shakes his head then kisses me softly on the mouth. I reach out and squeeze his hand. I don't like leaving him alone with Purple-Hair and Snake-Tattoo even though I'm sure they wouldn't stand a chance against him in a fight.

I run all the way to the cafeteria. I'm glad I was paying close attention last night or I might get lost. I stop once I'm inside the door to catch my breath. I look toward my regular table from initiation and see Will and Christina sitting there with breakfast plates surrounding them. Christina is visibly bouncing up and down in her seat with anticipation. When she sees me, she jumps up, toppling over her glass of orange juice, which Will rushes to clean up. This isn't going to be pretty. I walk to the table trying to figure out what to tell her.

"Christina. I'm _so_ sorry but I'm going to have to reschedule."

"WHAT?" she spits. I close my eyes, inhale through my nose, and slowly exhale out through my parted lips. I open my eyes and see her glaring at me.

"Christina, I'm not happy about this either. Four and I were just summoned to Max's office. Purple-Hair and Snake-Tattoo didn't even want to let me come down here and explain to you that I need to postpone. I thought I was going to have to knock one of them out when they told me I could 'talk to my little friend.'" With that admission Christina calms down, although I can see questions in her eyes.

"Max's office? What about?"

"I have no idea but it was an order and not a request. They made _that_ perfectly clear. Four's on his way now. They're waiting for me."

"Purple-Hair and Snake-Tattoo?" she asks with a silly grin on her face.

"Yeah!" I laugh. "Two of the scariest Dauntless members I've ever seen. I'll find you later. I really am sorry." I notice Christina looking me up and down. She has a huge smirk on her face. "What?"

"Are those the same clothes you were wearing yesterday?" Crap. I should have known if anyone would recognize a particular outfit, it would be her.

"No," I say trying to sound as nonchalant as possible.

"You're lying! You're gnawing on the inside of your cheek."

"Fine, I slept at Four's place last night. I didn't take anything with me. Satisfied?" I say throwing my hands up in the air. Christina and Will smile at one another then look back at me.

"Maybe you should change before the Dauntless leaders see you in last night's clothes," Will says, a smile on his face.

"Whatever. Later!" His idea of changing isn't a bad one though, and the dorm is close by. I decide to make a quick detour. Thankfully, the room is completely deserted so I can throw on a clean outfit in peace then I race to Max's office. I take two deep breaths, trying to calm my racing heart and knock. A muffled voice tells me to come in. I open the door to find Marcus Eaton standing there, and I freeze.


	3. Chapter 3

_Marcus Eaton_? Tobias' abusive Abnegation father here in Dauntless? _What in the hell is he doing here?_ I immediately look for Tobias. He's slumped in a chair opposite the desk Marcus and a few other Abnegation members are standing behind. He's as white as a sheet. I kneel down in front of him. He looks like he's in shock. I know this isn't a happy reunion.

"Four?" I say, trying to keep the emotion out of my voice. This isn't the time for it.

"Hello, Beatrice," a familiar voice says. My head snaps around. My dad is standing there right next to Marcus with a startled look on his face. How did I not see him? "I didn't know we were waiting for you."

"Hello, Dad, and it's just Tris now." I stand back up and stare at my dad. He looks like he's aged since I last saw him at the Choosing Ceremony. That shouldn't be possible but losing both his children in one day to other factions must have taken its toll. "Could someone _please_ tell me what's going on here? Dad, what are you doing here?" I look at Tobias but he's still frozen.

"Beatrice…" Marcus starts. The hair on the back of my neck stands on end.

" _You_ do not get to address me," I firmly say, interrupting. I take a deep breath and look at Tobias again. He's still slumped in the chair, frozen in fear, and I'm getting increasingly worried about him. I have to get Marcus out of here. "We'll only speak to my dad. Will the rest of you please wait outside in the hall?"

"Beatrice," my dad sharply says, admonishing me, "that isn't necessary."

"Yes, it is if you want this meeting to continue." Marcus glares at me, and I see the man from Tobias' fear landscape, the one without the mask. Why can't his fellow councilmen see what I am looking at right now? He isn't a man, he's a monster. I stare at him and pointedly say, "Out." I walk across the room and open the door. The three men file out of the room leaving me with my dad and Tobias. I take a deep breath.

"Dad, please tell me what's going on," I say with a tinge of desperation in my voice. He looks at me like he's never seen me before, and I quickly realize that's true. He doesn't know this me, brave and assertive Tris. He only knows respectful and meek Beatrice.

"Tris," he says, slowly. It sounds foreign coming from his mouth. Maybe I should let him call me Beatrice. "We're here because we have some news that relates directly to Dauntless." I can tell he wants to ask about my behavior.

"Forgive me, but why aren't you talking to Max or one of the other leaders instead of Four and me?" I still don't understand what's going on.

"We can't speak to them because they've all been arrested along with Jeanine Matthews from Erudite for a plot to overthrow Abnegation using a simulation serum on Dauntless members." I know my mouth must be hanging open right now.

"A simulation serum?" Tobias asks, finally thawing. I go and sit in the chair next to his. I want to take his hand but I'm not sure he'd want me to do that right now. I look at him, and he's regained some of his color. He glances sideways at me and gives me a small, appreciative smile.

"Yes, Tobias."

"Mr. Prior, it's Four here, _never_ Tobias," he firmly says.

"My apologies, Four. I'll start at the beginning the best I can." He takes a deep breath and sits down behind what was once Max's massive ebony-stained oak desk. I can't believe this is happening.

"Caleb called me the day before yesterday with a story that, to be honest, was quite incredible. He told me you visited him at Erudite and asked him to investigate the simulation serums." Tobias looks my direction with a bit of a frown on his face.

"You never told me that," he said.

"Honestly, I wasn't sure exactly what it was I was asking him to do. When Mom came to see me on visitation day it wasn't just for a visit, she wanted me to get to Caleb and have him investigate the simulation serums. She didn't tell me why even when I begged her to. After I failed so miserably in Lauren's fear landscape and we had our fight, I decided it was the best time to talk to Caleb. I had to get my mind on something else, and I didn't think I had anything to lose." Boy was I wrong. "I told him what Mom told me." I tell my story mainly to Tobias but Dad listens on intently. "He told me something big was getting ready to go down at Erudite but he didn't know what, but he said he'd do as Mom asked. Then we got into a fight, and I wasn't sure if he was going to follow through with his promise or not."

"What he found was Erudite invented a long-range serum that could be used in simulations. He thought it was odd because there is no legitimate need for something that can be used over distances," my father says. That makes sense. When we're under a simulation we're within 10 feet of the computer and no more.

"When he investigated the serum, he learned it was inadvertently invented while trying to better the original simulation serum, but he presumed that information was false, planted to mislead anyone who looked too closely into the new serum. This information didn't sit well with Caleb so he did some additional research. He found the only reasonable conclusion to having this serum was long-range mind control. He was unsure what to do with this newfound information but decided to take it to a trusted advisor high up in the Erudite hierarchy who just happened to know what Jeanine's undeveloped plan was."

"Which was?" I prompted.

"To inject each Dauntless member, who is already trained to kill, with the long-range simulation serum, place them in a war sim, and set them loose on Abnegation." I start to panic and touch the site on my neck where Eric injected me yesterday. I knew something wasn't right when he gave me that tracking injection excuse. The serum was colored, which means it carries transmitters. A tracking serum would be clear. I jump out of my seat.

"We were all injected yesterday," I shout.

"Calm down, Beatrice. Erm, um, I'm sorry, Tris," my dad stutters slightly. "All top level conspirators are in custody, and all remaining simulation serum and the simulation program have been destroyed. The simulation serum will begin to degrade in your system within the next 24 to 48 hours and will be useless." A weight lifts off of my shoulders, and I slowly lower myself into the chair.

"Did you say war simulation, Mr. Prior?" Tobias says, addressing my dad. "A few weeks before initiation began, I accessed Dauntless' secure files and found war simulations and other files that were sent by Erudite. If I was able to retrieve this information for you, would it be useful in the prosecution of these criminals?"

"That would be very helpful. We already have all the information from Erudite's end but nothing from Dauntless'." Tobias gets up and takes the computer keyboard from in front of my dad. After hitting a few keys, he transfers all necessary data to a removable disk drive and gives it to my dad. "This is everything I know about."

"I'm sorry I interrupted earlier, Dad. I just panicked when I realized what that injection really meant," I say. "How did everyone end up in custody?"

"Caleb's advisor, his name isn't being released to protect his identity, called on the Abnegation council with proof of what Erudite was planning. He never agreed with what Jeanine was preparing to do, and Jeanine was taken into custody. She was taken to Candor headquarters for interrogation under truth serum by Jack Kang, one of Candor's leaders. She confessed her entire involvement and the involvement of several Erudite members. She also confessed the involvement of every Dauntless leader. They were each taken into custody, transferred to Candor for interrogation, and they too confessed under truth serum. They will all be executed for their crimes."

I sit back in my chair and let all the information sink in. My brother stopped a war. What would have happened if I hadn't went to see him when I did? I can't think that way. Erudite was stopped. I breathe a sigh of relief but then something my dad said hits me like a ton of bricks.

"Is Caleb safe?" I ask, fearful for my brother's safety. He may be a pain but he's still my brother.

"His name hasn't been released either. Both whistleblowers are safe," he says. Tobias, who had taken his seat again, stands up and rubs his hand through his hair.

"I'm still a bit confused, Mr. Prior," he says, pacing restlessly beside me. "Why were Tris and I called in here?"

"Dauntless needs new leadership," he says. "While under the Candor truth serum Max revealed bribery was his only motivation for what he did; however, all four of your other leaders were Erudite transfers who were planted here. When Max was asked who he thought would be a good replacement, he recommended you to take over his leadership role." That makes sense. Max has asked Tobias several times to train for Dauntless leadership, but I wonder why they've summoned me as well.

"I understand fully why Four was called in here. He would make a great leader, but why am _I_ here?"

"You would make every bit as good of a leader as I would, Tris," Tobias says to me matter-of-factly.

"Which is also what Max said," my dad says, proudly. "He said he saw great potential in you, and you remind him of Four."

"Well Four was my instructor. Everything I've learned here at Dauntless, I've learned from him," I say looking up at Tobias who's finally at a standstill.

"How long do I have to decide, sir?" Tobias asks. "Leadership has never been something I've inspired to."

"24 hours is all we can afford to give both of you to make your decisions," he says. Four bows his head at my dad, remembering Abnegation customs, and turns to me.

"Will you meet me at my place? I really need to talk to you about this."

"Of course. I just want to say goodbye to my dad first." He turns and walks out the door and heads toward the Pit. Marcus and the two other men come back into the room. Marcus scowls at me, and I remember his soulless black eyes from Tobias' fear landscape.

"So what did Tobias decide?" Marcus asks my dad. I feel myself about ready to explode. I count to ten, hoping to regain some composure but I'm not sure it helps. Before I can speak, my dad addresses him.

"I gave Four and Tris 24 hours to make their decisions," my dad says.

"Very well," Marcus says and turns towards me. "Nice to see you again, _Beatrice_." He smirks as he says my Abnegation name. I want to lunge at him and wipe that smirk off his face but I remind myself that it wouldn't be helpful right now.

"Would you give me a few minutes with my dad?" I say addressing the two other men whose names I've forgotten.

"We'll meet you outside, Andrew," Marcus says. He turns towards the door, and the two other men follow, leaving me alone with my dad.

"Beatrice," my dad says with a heavy sigh, "may I ask why you had Marcus, Jonah, and Matthew leave the room?" Oh right, Jonah Thomson and Matthew Williams.

"I didn't mind if Jonah or Matthew stayed but Marcus had to go. Didn't you see how Four reacted to seeing his father again? He has worked very hard to leave that part of his life behind him, and I wasn't going to sit here and let Marcus torture him anymore."

"Marcus has never done anything to Tobi…" I cut him off.

"You don't know the vile things that monster has put _Four_ through," I yell. I take a deep breath and try to remember it's not my dad who I'm angry with. "That's all I can say on the subject. I've already said too much."

"How do you know so much about that … that _boy_?" I know he wants to say traitor. That's how almost everyone in Abnegation thinks of Tobias. Hhm, I wonder if that's how they view Caleb and me now. Do I tell him the truth? I look at him for a long moment, trying to picture what my life would have been like if I'd chosen differently. I can't imagine going back. I wonder what I look like to him.

"He's my boyfriend, Dad," I state with pride in my voice. "He's the absolute best man I've ever known. He's everything I didn't know I wanted." Since the word boyfriend passed my lips, I see color rising in his face. He looks like he's either going to pass out or explode.

" _BOYFRIEND!_ " he shrieks. Explode, should have guessed it. "You're too young to have a boyfriend, Beatrice. He's entirely _too_ old for you. This … this isn't right. How could they let this kind of thing go on here?" I walk toward him and stop right in front of him. I know he won't hurt me no matter how angry he is with me.

"I love you, Dad, with all my heart. Do you know that?" I ask and he nods. "When I chose Dauntless I wasn't choosing to leave you, I was choosing to find myself. Part of finding myself was finding Four. He's very important to me, and because of that, he should be important to you."

"I don't like this, Beatrice."

"Tris, Dad, Tris," I say with a sigh. "You don't have to like it, you just have to love me." I can feel tears starting to well up in my eyes, and I don't want to cry in front of him. I wrap my arms around him and give him a big hug. He holds me tight for a minute then kisses the top of my head. "I love you, Dad. Please tell Mom I love her and give her a hug for me. Four and I will give you our answers tomorrow. Same time as today?"

"Yes, Tris." He smiles at me, and I know we'll be okay. I turn and walk back toward Tobias, toward my life.


	4. Chapter 4

I know I promised Christina I'd catch up with her as soon as the meeting ended but Tobias needs me right now. I've never seen him look the way he did when Marcus was in that room with us. I finally make it to his apartment and knock. He opens the door after a few seconds and pulls me straight into his arms, and I kick the door shut with my foot. He holds me tightly pressed against his chest for what seems like an eternity before he finally lets me go and turns his back on me. He doesn't want me to see him like this, appearing weak, but he isn't weak. He's the strongest person I know. He left everything he knew behind so he could make a new life for himself. If that isn't brave, I don't know what is.

"Tobias," I say, walking over to him. He keeps turning away from me. I take a deep breath and say, "You can talk to me when you're ready. I'm just going to relax for a while." I walk across the room to his bed, kick off my shoes, and lie down. Before I know it my eyes are closing. The stress of the morning has exhausted me, and I drift off to sleep. When I wake up I'm curled up next to Tobias with my head on his chest. I breathe in his scent, and I feel like I'm home. I don't even remember him getting into bed with me. I look up into his eyes, and they seem bright and definitely happy to see me.

"What time is it?" I ask, stretching.

"A little after one," he says. "Would you like to get some lunch? We both missed breakfast, and I for one am starving." He seems lighter, happier somehow. I wonder if something has changed. I sit up next to him and look him in the eyes. "We'll talk later, Tris. I promise. Eat now, please!" I can't help but smile at him.

"Okay, let's get some lunch," I say. Then I remember, "Oh, what if I run into Christina? She's gonna want to talk."

"You should spend some time with her," he says. "You already put her off this morning."

"Don't you think we have a lot to talk about?" I ask.

"Actually, we do have a lot to talk about, but I don't want any distractions or interruptions. So how about we go to lunch, you spend the afternoon with Christina, and I'll meet you in the cafeteria at six. Then we'll spend the rest of the evening making any decisions we need to make."

"Can I ask you one thing?" I say apprehensively.

"Anything."

"Are you okay?"

"With the exception of seeing Marcus this morning, I'm perfectly wonderful." He takes me in his arms and lowers his mouth to mine, kissing me with newfound purpose. Yes, something happened while I was asleep. What could it be?

It's a little nerve-racking walking hand-in-hand down to the cafeteria. People keep staring at us. This time yesterday, Tobias and I had a public instructor/initiate relationship and now everyone can see I'm his girlfriend. Before we get to the cafeteria, I remember something.

"Christina knows about our meeting this morning. What should I tell her about it?" I ask.

"Tell her the truth."

"I think I'll ask her opinion about becoming a leader because I'm really struggling with that notion. I know she can sometimes be Candor-annoying but once in a while she has a good idea." We both laugh at my Candor-like honesty.

"Get her opinion. I think it's a great idea." He leans over and places another kiss on my lips. I think he means for it to be a quick peck but something bubbles up inside me, and I grasp my arms around his neck. He lifts me off my feet, I press myself against his body, and I let him explore my mouth with his tongue.

When I hear someone walk by and mutter, "Get a room," it breaks the spell, and I stiffen in Tobias' arms. He sighs and sits me on my feet. I look up at him, heat rushing into my cheeks, and he glides his knuckles across my cheek and down the side of my neck. After regaining our composure, we walk into the cafeteria and sit down at Tobias' regular table. I look around and see Will and Christina at my old table. I tell Tobias I'll be right back and head over to my friends.

"Hi, Will. Hi, Christina," I say. I slide into the bench across from her to gauge how mad she is at me. She just smiles.

"How did your meeting go? What did Max want?" Well that tells me something. Apparently our leaders' arrests aren't common knowledge.

"It's a long story, which I'll tell you later. I don't think the cafeteria is an appropriate venue for _that_ conversation. How about we catch a train to the Navy Pier after lunch?" I ask. Then I add, "Do you guys want to sit over at Four's table?"

They both agree and follow me back to Tobias. Christina looks happy that I included her in my new circle of friends but Will just looks nervous. I'm sure he'll get over it once he gets to know everyone. I sit down next to Tobias, Christina slides in after me, and then Will follows. "Tris, I'd like to introduce you to some friends," Tobias says to me. "You know Uriah, Marlene, Lynn, and Zeke." He nods at each one in turn then motions to a very pretty familiar-looking girl about his age with multiple ear piercings, dark blonde hair, and light brown eyes. "This is Zeke's girlfriend, Shauna."

"Actually, Tris and I met at the zip line," she says to Tobias then she winks at me, remembering our conversation like I am.

"This is Samuel and his girlfriend, Ella," he says, motioning to an odd-looking couple. Although they're sitting down, I can tell Samuel, with his spikey magenta hair and life-like lizard tattoo wrapping around his neck is a lot shorter than Ella who's a natural beauty with dark skin, long straight black hair that has bright red braids here and there, and eyes black as night. "Samuel works in the control room with me, and Ella is the manager of the commissary."

"It's nice to finally meet you, Tris," Ella and Samuel say at the same time. _Finally_! How long has he been talking about me? I can't help my blush.

"This is James and his wife, Ciara," he says, pointing to a short-haired blonde man with unnaturally bright green eyes and so many tattoos covering his arms that I can't see any natural skin and a long-curly-haired blonde female with a single blue streak and a lip impression tattoo below her right ear. "And this is Dante and his wife, Kirsten." Dante is an intimidating looking dark-haired, dark-eyed fellow who looks slightly uncomfortable with any sort of attention. Kirsten on the other hand looks like she was born for the spotlight. She has warm golden brown eyes and short brown hair. Her clothes, if you can call them that, are low cut, skin tight, and barely there, showing off more than I care to see. _So many new names to learn_. "James and Dante also work in the control room, Ciara's a Faction Ambassador, and Kirsten works in the electronics store."

"Ciara, I have to ask, is that a tattoo of James lips?" I ask after exchanging hellos, pointing to her neck. I'm usually not this forward with strangers but for some reason her light blue eyes seem warm and welcoming.

"Yes! Don't you love it? Tori did it for us. She had him put a special ink on his lips and kiss where I wanted the tattoo and then she filled it in. It was his wedding present to me. I think it's romantic." _Yes, she's very friendly!_

"Very romantic," I agree then I turn my attention to Will and Christina. "Everyone, I'd like to introduce my friends, Christina and Will." We all exchange pleasantries while we have lunch. Once I smell the food, I realize just how hungry I am. I got a hamburger, baked potato, green beans, and fruit salad. I also took a slice of famous Dauntless cake. I eat my food too quickly because of being so hungry that I can't finish my dessert.

"You want the rest of this?" I ask Tobias, pointing down at my cake but Uriah reaches across the table and takes it then scarfs it down in two bites. Tobias and I look at each other, and then we look at Uriah.

"What?" he says, indignantly. "You snooze, you lose, pansycake!"

"I _dare_ you to call me pansycake again," Tobias says in a very frightening voice.

Uriah just looks at him and says, "What are you going to do about it?"

"Uri, leave Four alone," Zeke says. "I refuse to explain to Mom what happened if he puts you in the infirmary."

"Fine! You guys aren't any fun anymore," he mutters. Zeke and Tobias just shake their heads.

"Christina, are you ready to go?" I ask.

"I sure am," she says. She gives Will a kiss then gets up from the table.

"We're going to the Navy Pier so we can talk," I say to Tobias before he kisses me lightly on the mouth. I can feel all eyes on us, and I blush again. When he pulls away his cheeks are pink also. He's not used to the attention either.

"Meet you here at six," he says.

Christina and I head to the tracks, making small talk along the way. We jump on the train and ride until I see the giant wheel decorating the horizon. When the train dips low we both jump off, thankfully landing on our feet. We casually stroll past the now abandoned buildings, over to the carousel where we hid our flag the night we played capture the flag. I sit on a once beautiful faded blue bench, and she sits on a paint-chipped and cracked horse that's missing an ear.

"So how long have you and Four been together?" she asks, launching into her interrogation.

"About as long as you and Will," I say.

"Why didn't you tell me about it?"

"The day you told me about Will, I wanted to tell you about Four so bad, but we decided it was best to keep it quiet until after initiation was over so it didn't look like my ranking was a result of favoritism instead of hard work, and it _was_ the result of hard work. I swear."

"You would never let someone give you special treatment," she laughs. "That would be selfish, right _Stiff?_ " I roll my eyes at her.

"Of course, I wouldn't but what do you think Peter, Drew, or Molly would have done? They tortured me just for being me. If they knew I was dating Four _during_ initiation, Peter would have done everything in his power not only to get me kicked out of Dauntless but probably Four too."

"That's true. How did it start?" she asks with real interest on her face. "I didn't even know you liked him." _Like_... I'm not sure that word is strong enough.

"Um, I think I've liked him since he helped me out the net," I admit.

" _Wow!_ That long?" she asks with shock on her face. "I can't believe I didn't know you liked him. You hid it well."

"I never said anything because I didn't think I had a chance with him. He kept sending me mixed signals. I couldn't tell if he liked me or was just taking a special interest in my training." I let my mind drift back. "Then he saved me from Peter, Drew, and Al. He was almost too late. Peter had me by the throat, dangling me above the chasm. When they saw Four, Al ran off and Peter, always the coward, dropped me then ran off. Thankfully, my arms caught the railing, which kept me from falling." I shudder at the memory. "Four caught Drew trying to run and beat him into unconsciousness until I called out for him. He carried me back to his apartment, and I stayed there all night. I couldn't stand the thought of being near Peter, Drew, or Al. Then the night of Al's funeral he told me he liked me. I couldn't believe my good fortune. I still don't get it. That night he kissed me for the first time." I smile at the memory of that evening on the rocks in the chasm. It's a very special memory. "The next day, I totally freaked out in Lauren's fear landscape. I'm not sure you know this or not but I drew her kidnapping fear. When I was under the simulation, something happened and her fear overtook me, and it was like I was being kidnapped by Peter, Drew, and Al all over again, and I broke down. Four didn't want to show we had a personal relationship so he overcompensated and talked to me like I was nothing. He forgot he had the power to hurt me. That's why I slapped him. Then I left the Dauntless compound and went to see my brother at Erudite." With that confession Christina inhales sharply.

"I can't believe you left the compound."

"Yeah. Stupid I know. Eric caught me. He threatened to kick not only me but you and Will out of Dauntless but Four managed to save me again or I should say he saved _us_. He told Eric I tried to kiss him, he rejected me, and I ran away out of embarrassment. Eric bought it at the time. Then I went through my fear landscape and Four was in it."

"I knew it!" she exclaims. "Well at the time I didn't but when I saw you kiss him last night in the cafeteria, I figured he was the one who tried to have sex with you in your fear landscape."

"Yeah, he was. I didn't even know what was going on, Christina, and I felt so stupid. It's no wonder they laughed at me. Simulation Four was in front of me, and I looked behind me to see if there was something there I was supposed to be scared of, and all I could see was a bed. What I was afraid of didn't even dawn on me until he started to take my jacket off. Then I realized I was frightened to be with him ... physically. I took control of the simulation though and told him I wasn't going to have sex with him in a hallucination and the fear went away. I had a bit of trouble afterwards though. I kept tensing up when I was with him, which I had never done before. I finally confessed he was in my fear landscape, and it hurt him. I hated seeing that look on his face. We talked it through though."

"So has he told you his real name and why they call him Four?" she asks, always curious.

"Yeah, but I can't tell you either of those things. I promised him. Maybe one day he'll be comfortable enough to tell everyone himself."

"I understand. I thought I'd give it a shot though!" We both laugh at her honesty. _Once a Candor, always a Candor._

"What was your meeting about this morning?"

"Oh, Christina, you are _not_ going to believe this." I take a deep breath before I continue.


	5. Chapter 5

"All the Dauntless leaders were arrested last night and sentenced to death for conspiring with Jeanine Matthews and other Erudite members to overthrow Abnegation." I slowly repeat the entire story my dad relayed to Tobias and me this morning for Christina. We sit in silence as she mulls over what I just told her.

"Overthrow Abnegation?" she says. "Why would they do that?"

"Maybe they want to be the faction that runs the government. Who knows what was going through Jeanine's mind. According to my dad, this was all her doing. I'm not sure we'll ever know why. I'm just glad it was stopped," I say. "There's something else I need to talk to you about. I need this to be just between you and me, okay?"

"This sounds serious, Tris. What is it?" she asks, nodding her head at me.

"I'd like your advice. Max recommended Four and me for leader positions, and we were offered the jobs this morning by the government council members," I say.

"That's great news," Christina says. I search her face for deception but there isn't any to be found.

"Christina, I know Four would make a great leader but what do _I_ know about being a leader? I've only been in Dauntless for like five minutes. Technically, I'm still an initiate. Don't you think that makes me too young?" I ask with a sigh.

"You know I can't make this decision for you but I'll tell you what I think. Remember our first day when I commented on how young Eric was for being a Dauntless leader, and Four said age doesn't matter here? I was skeptical thinking someone so young could be an efficient leader, and he wasn't a good leader, not at all. But Eric isn't a bad leader because he's 18; he's a bad leader because he's a ruthless asshole who doesn't care about anything or anyone but himself. Leading doesn't have anything to do with a number, Tris. It has to do with what a person is made of," she says confidently. "You are totally different than you were when you jumped on the train that first day. You're strong. You're brave. You're not afraid to stand up for what you believe in. For me, _that's_ the definition of a leader. Plus, it's a great opportunity to change things you don't like about Dauntless. Just think back to our initiation, not being able to concede during fights, so many made factionless for not living up to merciless standards, and what Eric did to me _and_ to you." I relive Eric making Christina hang over the chasm for five minutes and Four throw knives at me, and a shudder moves through my body. A leader should never do something like that. That's bullying not leading. "You'll be a great leader, Tris, if that's what you decide to do."

"Thank you, Christina," I say. "You've given me a lot to think about. We better get going. I promised Four I would meet him for dinner at six."

We hurry to jump on the approaching train and head back to the compound. I think about the job offer and whether it's something I really want or not. When the train reaches our jumping off point, I notice Tobias pacing outside the compound.

I look at Christina and ask, "Are we late?"

"No, we're early, I think." We jump off the train and walk toward Tobias.

"See you two later," she says. "Remember what I said, Tris."

"Bye, thanks." I give her a quick hug then turn my full attention to Tobias. "I thought we were meeting in the cafeteria?" I notice his form fitting t-shirt is adhered to his body with sweat.

"We were but I just finished a run so I thought I'd meet you," he says. "Did you have a nice afternoon?"

"I did actually," I say, surprise coloring my voice. I guess I didn't think I'd have a good time. "I asked Christina her opinion about our ... proposition, and she gave me a lot to think about. We can talk more about it after supper."

"Why don't we get dinner, take it to my place, and talk?"

"That sounds like a great idea. I'm going to go to the dorm and pick up some clothes then I'll get us some food. You go and take a shower. I'll meet you in a little while."

"Planning on staying tonight?" he asks with a grin on his face. I hold my head up high even though butterflies are now swarming in my stomach.

"Yes, I am," I say before raising up on my tiptoes and placing a soft kiss on his lips, being extra careful not to touch his sweat-drenched skin. "I'll meet you at your apartment."

"Okay," he says.

I decide to put all my clothes and toiletries into the black and red Dauntless backpack I was given my first day. I only have a few outfits that still fit me. I hope he doesn't read anything into this. I just feel incomplete without my few belongings.

After I go to the cafeteria and get two plates of food, I feel excitement bubbling up inside. I didn't realize how much I missed Tobias this afternoon. I practically run to his apartment. I knock on his door, and he immediately opens it for me. When I walk into his apartment, I notice a welcome addition; a large dark gray microfiber couch is now where the desk sat. The desk has been moved into the corner by the kitchenette. I turn to look at Tobias.

"I can't believe you actually bought a couch!" I say, handing him his plate.

"I told you I want you to be comfortable when you're here. I meant it." He sits down on the couch and pats the seat next to him. I sit down, and we eat supper while I tell him about my afternoon with Christina. When we're finished, he throws our plates away and gets us each a water from the mini fridge then sets them down on the floor beside the couch.

"Can we talk about this morning?" I ask as he sits down beside me. "Are you okay? I was worried."

"I'm okay now. You helped me through," he says reaching out and taking my hands in his. "I couldn't believe my eyes when I walked into that room and Marcus was standing there. I never thought I'd see him again. At least that was my hope. Immediately I felt like that scared, abused kid again, and I just shut down. I'm not proud of my reaction. I was a coward."

"You were in shock, Tobias, not a coward." He gives me a grave look.

"I couldn't think. I could barely breathe." He shakes his head, covers his face with his hands, and takes a deep breath. I run my fingers through his hair until he looks at me.

"You chose to leave that life behind. A coward never would have done that. It was a very brave thing to do. I know, I made the same decision." I take his face in between my hands and look deeply into his dark blue eyes. "You're the bravest man I know. Don't let him make you think less of yourself." Suddenly his mouth is on mine, and he kisses me with such passion. I move my hands down to his neck then wrap my arms around him and tangle my fingers in his hair. I'm feeling brave so I move to straddle his lap just like I did on the train. He groans against my open mouth. He wraps his arms around me and holds me tight. I tilt my head back slightly to catch my breath, and he places light kisses along my jawline down to the sensitive spot just beneath my left ear. I shiver and pull myself nearer to him. We are so close we're almost sharing the same space. I pull his mouth back to mine and kiss him with a new hunger. He moves one hand up into my hair and slips the other just under the hem of my shirt and caresses the bare skin of my lower back. We get lost in each other. His hand moves higher up my back and fear starts to spread. I gently untangle my hands from his hair, lower them to his shoulders, and lean back slightly. We're both breathless. I slowly slide off his lap and move across the couch but leave my feet resting on his leg.

"May I ask you something?" I inquire after my breathing returns to normal.

"Of course," he says, gently rubbing my feet.

"When I woke up from my nap this morning you seemed more," what's the word I'm looking for, "relaxed. Why is that?"

"First, I decided I wasn't going to let fear of my father dictate what I do from now on. I've done that for far too long as it is," he says, resolve in his eyes. Then an affectionate look settles on his face and he says, "Second, you woke up and told me not to look sad, you would take care of me, and no one would ever hurt me again."

"Wow," I say with wide eyes. "I don't remember saying any of that, but it's true. I'll never let anyone hurt you." We sit in silence for a while just enjoying each other's company.

"What do you think of your dad's offer?" he asks after a while.

"I'm still having trouble equating myself with a Dauntless leader. I've been here for such a short amount of time, Tobias. What do I know about leading Dauntless members? I don't even know what being a Dauntless member means," I say with a sigh. "Christina gave me some things to think about. She thinks I can do it and help make Dauntless a better place."

"I've been here over two years now, Tris, and I don't know anything about leading. It's something we would learn together and, together, I believe we can do anything," he says with conviction in his voice. "I have something I need to tell you." He takes a drink of his water then looks directly into my eyes. "I had every intention of leaving Dauntless after initiation was over and become factionless." I gasp at his confession. "I believe Dauntless has lost its way, and I thought leaving was my only way out of a situation that just wasn't working for me anymore. Then I met you. Almost immediately I couldn't stand the thought of leaving you. Once I realized we felt the same way about each other I could see making a life here with you and just ignoring what it is I hate about this place." I can only stare at him while I listen to his confession. "Tris, meeting you gave me new hope, and this situation with the leaders has given me even more hope. I happen to agree with Christina. I believe Dauntless can be restored to what it once was. I want to be a part of that, and I want you to help me." Strong emotions I've never felt before swim through me. He wants to build a life with me. He wants to lead Dauntless with me by his side. Am I ready for all this? Is he ready for this?

"Do you really think that's a good idea?" I still have my doubts but they're becoming smaller by the minute.

"Absolutely. You have changed my life so profoundly. You make me want to be a better man, and you bring out the best in me. Like I said, together we _will_ be unstoppable." I slide across the couch and hug him. I can't believe he has so much faith in me. I single tear escapes and slides down my face. I let go of him and wipe the moisture from my cheek, hoping he doesn't see.

"Thank you for believing in me," I say.

"You should believe in yourself more. You _can_ do this. I have no doubt." I believe him. His faith in me seems unshakable.

"Okay, Tobias. I'm in." He springs up off the couch and grabs me up in his arms and spins me around. I've never seen him freer than I have in this moment.

When he sits me back on my feet he says, "I want to know what Abnegation expects of us before we say yes though. Are they going to give brand new leaders free reign, or are there going to be expectations they haven't shared with us yet. I refuse to be Marcus' Dauntless mouth piece."

"That's good thinking," I say. "Do you have any ideas for Dauntless?"

"Remember talking about teamwork when we were climbing the Ferris wheel?" he asks.

"Yes," I say, although I remember so much more about that night.

"Teamwork used to be a priority. Dauntless members used to work together not against each another. Now it seems like it's every man for himself."

"Every man?" I tease, raising an eyebrow.

"And woman! Teamwork needs to become priority one. We need to help each other. We also need to stop the recklessness. Sometimes I feel like I live with two-year-old adrenaline junkies instead of responsible adults. There's a difference between bravery and stupidity." He really has been thinking about this. "A few years before I arrived, Max and the other leaders changed the training to make it more lethal. Last year they took the option to concede away. Then this year they limited the number of initiates who become members. They also started asking people to leave Dauntless sooner than they used to."

"Asking people to leave?" I say, interrupting. Then I remember not seeing any elderly people around the Pit. "They kick people out of Dauntless because they get old? That's terrible. Can that be changed?"

"I don't know. I would like to. I don't relish the thought of making good Dauntless members factionless just because they're getting slower."

"You sound like you've been thinking about this for a while," I say.

"I didn't know I had been thinking about any of this at all until your dad's offer brought all these ideas into my head. I only thought I'd decided to leave." I can't help but smile at his excitement. It's infectious.

"How about we watch a movie and relax for the rest of the night?" I ask.

"That sounds like a great idea. I'll pick a movie and you get ready for bed. The things you wore last night are on the dresser," he says as he gets up. I have something of my own to wear but I feel closer to him in his clothes. It has been a long day so I take his shorts and t-shirt into the bathroom and take a quick shower, letting the water wash the stress down the drain. I quickly dress and meet him on the couch to watch the movie but immediately fall asleep the moment I snuggle up against his left side.


	6. Chapter 6

I wake alone in Tobias' bed. I look around the apartment and see he's asleep on the couch. _At least he isn't on the floor again_ , I remind myself when the guilt surfaces. He must have carried me to bed last night because the last thing I remember was snuggling close to him on the couch to watch a movie.

I look at the clock that sits on his nightstand and see the alarm is set to go off in half an hour. I turn it off, retrieve my backpack from in front of his dresser, and go into the bathroom. I figure I don't need another shower this morning until I look at my hair. It's one big tangled mess from falling asleep while it was still wet so it makes another shower necessary. I take a few more minutes than I normally do to let yesterday's residual tension wash down the drain. I dress in a simple black tank top that shows all my tattoos, black skinny jeans, and finish the ensemble with my black combat boots. My wardrobe is seriously lacking since I've gained so much muscle. It's probably time for another shopping trip. I groan. That's something that hasn't changed, I still don't like shopping. I put on some simple makeup and style my hair in a French braid. After I finish in the bathroom, I go into the living room to wake Tobias but he's already up waiting patiently for his turn.

"Good morning!" I say, happy to see him.

"Good morning," he replies, placing a kiss on my cheek as he passes me on the way into the bathroom. When he finishes his morning routine, we walk hand-in-hand to the cafeteria for breakfast. Christina and Will are already at our otherwise empty table.

"Morning, Christina, Will," I cheerfully say as I sit down with my plateful of spinach, mushroom, ham, and egg casserole; bacon; and wheat toast.

"Good morning," they say in unison. Will looks around us and asks, "Has there been any updates on the leaders?"

"Not really, Will," I say. "Four and I have another meeting later this morning. I'm sure we'll get some answers then."

"Has the news started spreading around the compound?" Christina asks.

"Not that I've heard," Tobias says.

"I can't believe Dauntless was working with Jeanine. She was always ruthless but I had no idea she went full psycho," Will says, a confused yet severe look on his face.

"At least they didn't get away with it," Christina says. We all nod in agreement. Soon the rest of our friends join us, and we let the subject fall away. After finishing our breakfast, Tobias and I excuse ourselves and walk to Max's old office. We stop at the door and both take deep breaths.

"Ready?" I ask him.

"Yeah," he replies then knocks on the door. We hear my dad tell us to come in. I open the door, and we walk into the room but stop in our tracks. Marcus is once again standing there next to my dad. I place my hand on Tobias' back and slide it up to his Dauntless tattoo letting him know he's brave. He stands up straighter and moves further into the room. I let my hand fall away and follow him.

"Four, Tris. Good morning," my dad says, eyeing my tattoos. "Have you made your decision?"

"Before we make our final decision we need to know what Abnegation's exceptions for Dauntless are," Tobias says, addressing my dad only.

"The only requirement we have is a Dauntless leader must attend monthly council meetings. Each faction will have a representative on the council. The factions _must_ work together to make sure something like this never happens again." Tobias looks at me, and I nod my head.

"Tris and I have thought long and hard about this, and we'll be honored to become the new leaders of Dauntless. Tris will be Dauntless' representative on the council," Tobias says. I know there's no way he'll chance seeing his father on a monthly basis but I welcome the chance to see mine.

"We'll make the formal announcement tonight," I say, "but first we have some questions. When and where will the executions take place, and will they be public?"

"There will be a public execution in three days at the Hub," my dad answers. "Both your attendance will be appreciated, although it's not mandatory."

"Will it be possible for me to get a meeting with Max, Mr. Prior? I have some questions only he can answer."

" _Absolutely_ _not_ ," Marcus spits, speaking for the first time since we entered the room.

"Marcus," my dad says using his warning voice, "I see nothing wrong with allowing Four access to Max for one hour."

"Tobias, if you can give _me_ one good reason as to why you need to speak to that _criminal_ , I'll arrange an hour with him." Tobias was carefully trying to avoid his father but now he has to look at him. I take a deep breath and step closer to him in a show of support. I once again touch his Dauntless tattoo, and he looks directly into my eyes. I see equal amounts fear and determination.

I mouth, "You can do this." He breaks our eye contact and looks back at his father.

"I have some ideas on how to improve Dauntless but in order to implement them, I need to speak to Max. He's the only one who can help me." He stares at his father. When he speaks, his voice is like steel.

"I don't think that is a good enough reason," Marcus says.

"I intend to be a great leader, and I believe a great leader reveals his strengths but also admits his weaknesses. My weakness is how I allow you to make me feel." He takes a step forward. "From this day forward you have no power over me."

"I never did anything to you to make you hate me this much," he says.

"Nothing that wasn't for my own good, right _Dad_." He says Dad with such venom in his voice, and Marcus' face wavers for a split second. I wish my dad could see who Marcus really is but he quickly puts his public mask back on.

"I'll make arrangements for you to see Max," he says begrudgingly. "The time and place will be messengered to you. I'll be outside, Andrew." My dad watches Marcus storm out unable to stay calm, and he frowns a little. I feel Tobias relax.

"I'm proud of you, Beatrice, for taking on this endeavor. I believe we were right to take Max's recommendation. You're a brand new person," he says to me. He looks at Tobias and adds, "May I speak with you alone?"

"Dad, that isn't necessary," I nervously say. "Anything you want to say to him, you can say in front of me."

"Tris, it's okay. He can talk to me." I reach out and take Tobias' hand in mine and squeeze it before letting it fall away then I reluctantly go into the hall and sit down. Almost 15 minutes later they come out into the hallway. Tobias is pale. I hug my dad, give my regards to my mom, and tell him goodbye. When he leaves, Tobias and I return to the office.

"What did my dad want?" I hesitantly ask.

"He's _very_ protective of you. Did you know that?" he says looking down at me with grave eyes. "I think he would gladly kill me if I ever hurt you, which is _exactly_ what he said. I don't think he likes that we're together, Tris. I know he doesn't like me."

I blush slightly and say, "It isn't his decision who I date, Tobias, and we don't have to worry about you hurting me. You'll never hurt me or _I_ will kill you." He takes me in his arms with a chuckle, and I rest my head against his chest. I feel his heart rate accelerate, and I can't help but smile. I still don't understand why but I affect him the same way he affects me.

"I'm proud of you, Tobias," I say against his chest, "for standing up to Marcus." I pull back slightly and tilt my head back to look at him. I see a new strength in his eyes, feel it in his posture. I stand on my tiptoes and lightly place my lips to his. He leans down and wraps his arms around my waist and picks me up. I wrap my arms around his neck and one kiss melds into another. A knock at the door interrupts us, and we break away breathless. He sits me on my feet and goes to the door. His best friend is standing there.

"What's going on?" Zeke demands, pushing his way into the office. "People are talking about arrests and executions. Others have been gossiping about you two being in and out of Max's office with government people. What. Is. Going. On?" I don't recognize this Zeke. He's very angry.

"Calm down, Zeke, and sit," Tobias says to his friend, motioning to the chair in front of the desk. "We've got some news for you." Tobias repeats the story my dad told us yesterday. Zeke's quiet and doesn't interrupt, letting the story sink in.

"So you and Tris are our new leaders? Are there going to be any more, and who's taking your place in the control room?" he asks.

"We haven't discussed adding more leaders but that's a distinct possibility," Tobias says. "About the control room, I was going to ask you to take over my position. All control room workers would report to you, and you would report directly to me. We all need to work together to make sure nothing like this ever happens again."

"How do we do that?" Zeke asks.

"We'll have to pay close attention to what's going on around us and report anything out of the ordinary. We also need to emphasize teamwork. Dauntless has been emphasizing selfishness for far too long," Tobias says.

"I agree," Zeke says. "It was so different here when I was growing up. I look forward to seeing what you two will do. When are you telling everyone?"

"Tonight at 7 p.m. in the auditorium. We'll make an announcement over the loud speaker in a few minutes for everyone to meet for an important meeting. Wish us luck," Tobias says.

"Neither of you need luck. You're naturals," he says. He gets up from the chair and goes to the door. With his hand on the knob he turns back to us. "Congratulations by the way. You both deserve it. I'll see you guys later. Sorry I came busting in. I was concerned."

After Zeke leaves, Tobias makes the announcement over the loud speaker, then we grab lunch and take it back to his apartment to avoid the unasked questions raging in so many eyes. While we're eating, Purple-Hair and Snake-Tattoo drop a message off from Marcus telling Tobias he can talk with Max at the Hub at 3 p.m. today.

"What do you want to talk to Max about?" I ask.

"The first thing I need is for him to explain why he always wanted me to join leadership. I refuse to believe he thinks I would have went along with Erudite's plan. I really don't understand, and I need him to explain his motivation to me," he says. "The second thing I need to talk to him about is exactly what I told Marcus, I have some ideas for Dauntless but I don't know how to implement them. Since Max was the leader for so many years I'm hoping he can give me some advice. I know I probably shouldn't trust him, but I'm hoping monetary gain really was his only motivation for betraying our faction and that he'll be truthful with me." I take our lunch plates and throw them away then join him on the couch again. I sit next to him, and he automatically puts his arm around me and pulls me close to him.

"I know I already told you this but I'm going to say it again, I'm proud of you, Tobias," I say. "You stood up to Marcus, and I can tell it made a difference. I see a deeper strength when I look at you."

"The strength didn't come from standing up to him. It came from you. You not only gave me the strength to talk to him, but the strength to be in the same room with him and not fall apart. You don't know how much you mean to me." He looks deeply into my eyes, cups my face with one of his hands, and caresses my cheek with his thumb. I lean into his touch and smile at him. "I love you, Tris. When you jumped into that net, you jumped straight into my heart. You've changed my life. You've changed me." My heart swells more and more with each word he says. _He loves me._ I can't hold the tears back. I lean forward and gently place my lips against his. I put all the love I have for this man into this kiss. It isn't laced with passion or longing but love and respect. I finally pull away and look up at him through tear-filled lashes.

"I love you too, Tobias." He pulls me into his arms, and we lean back against the couch, our lips on each other's.


	7. Chapter 7

"Is it time to get back to the real world?" I ask Tobias with a heavy sigh. We've been cuddled up on the couch for most of our lunch hour, kissing and talking … well, mostly kissing.

"I'm afraid so," he says as he kisses the top of my head. "I would love nothing more than to lie around with you for the rest of the day but we have preparations to make for the announcement this evening, some decisions to make, and I have the meeting with Max at 3 p.m." We reluctantly get up and walk back to Tobias' office side-by-side. The first thing he does is summon Purple-Hair and Snake-Tattoo. I realize I should probably _try_ to learn their actual names.

"I need you two to notify maintenance to set up the auditorium for tonight's announcement and supervise their work," he says.

"Right away, sir," Purple-Hair says as they turn to leave.

"Please call me Four, not sir," Tobias says.

"Okay, Four," they both say at the same time then leave to take care of the assigned task. Tobias sits down at his desk, and I sit in a luxurious leather office chair across from him.

"I want to run something by you," he says in a serious tone.

"Okay. What is it?" I ask, curious by his tone.

"I think we need to add at least one more person to leadership so we have a tiebreaker of sorts," he says.

"Actually, I've had the same thought." It's unnerving just how in tune we are with each other. "Do you have any suggestions on who it should be?"

"Yes, Tori Wu," he says.

"Tori? Works in the tattoo parlor, Tori?" I didn't see that coming.

"Yes. There's a lot more to Tori than you know. She would be an asset to our team plus with her working in the tattoo parlor, she knows almost everyone in Dauntless. How about we ask her tonight?"

"I trust your judgment," I tell him.

"Do you have any reservations about asking her? I don't want this to be just my decision." I don't have to think long about my answer.

"No, I don't. She's helped me a lot in the short amount of time I've been here. I believe she's the right person to help us with this transition." He smiles at me.

"Our first decision, Tris! How does it feel?" he asks, a huge grin plastered across his face. I can't help but smile back at him when his eyes are sparkling like they are now.

"It feels great. I hope they all go this smoothly," I say with a chuckle then something comes to mind. "Tobias, the initiates are supposed to pick jobs and get apartment assignments tonight."

"We'll have to postpone that for a while. I have no idea what jobs or apartments are available." He gives me an apologetic look. He knows initiates live for this day.

"How long can we wait?" I ask. I have to rely on his judgment in this area.

"I think we should do it the night after the executions. This will give Dauntless something to celebrate after the hell they'll go through the next few days." That sounds reasonable.

"I've been thinking," I say. "Instead of just having a ceremony that night why don't we throw a big party ... a Welcome to Dauntless party?"

"Actually, that's a great idea, although most initiates can't wait to get into their apartments after they've been assigned. Why don't we do it a few days later, once everyone gets settled? Do you want to organize it?"

"Sure but I think I'll get Christina to help me. That seems like something she'd love." I look at the calendar on his desk and say, "The executions are Monday and the initiate ceremony will be Tuesday at 7 p.m. How about we have the party next Saturday at 8 p.m. in the auditorium?" I look at the clock on the wall and note it's time for Tobias to get to the Hub for his meeting. "You better get going or you'll be late for your meeting with Max."

"Thanks," he says as he looks up at the clock. He gets up from his desk and gives me a quick kiss then heads toward the door but stops and turns back to me. "I love you. I'll be back soon." My heart stutters then starts racing at his words.

"I love you, too. I'll be here familiarizing myself with some of the files. Please be careful."

"I will."

After he closes the door behind him, I turn back toward the desk. I decide Tobias is much better with computers than I am so he should go through the digital files. I focus my attention on the row of file cabinets behind the desk. I test a few drawers and find them to be unlocked. The task of looking through the numerous paper files is daunting. The first cabinet has the apartment assignment lists. I didn't realize there were so many apartments: Singles, doubles, families, leaders. I also notice family apartments are located in a different part of the dauntless compound away from the single and double apartments.

The next two cabinets are full of thousands of personnel files of sorts. There's not only a file on every active member of Dauntless but one on every member who transferred out of Dauntless or became factionless. I thumb through mine fleetingly, half expecting it to be stamped Divergent, but all the information looks very basic including a photo I didn't even know was taken.

The next cabinet holds past and present initiation training plans, fear landscape data, and miscellaneous files pertaining to past instructors. I doubt Tobias would find this information useful since he's already an instructor but I make a note to familiarize myself with the training plans. Maybe Tobias and I can come up with a better training plan that will focus on teamwork and not entirely on the individual.

The last file cabinet is full of miscellaneous files that'll take some time to go through so I take out the five previous year's training plans and settle into the desk chair to read. I already knew Max made training more brutal last year by taking the option to concede away but I forgot Tobias told me it was the first year not all initiates were welcomed into Dauntless. Other than these two changes not much else has changed recently. I have my nose buried in files when Tobias walks in the door. I glance at the clock and am surprised to see that it's almost 5 p.m.

"How did it go with Max?" I ask.

"Better than I expected. He really isn't a bad person. He just got caught up in the greed and power. He told me he got in over his head, and that's why he wanted me to be a leader. He knew I'd be an ally. He knew I wouldn't have went along with Erudite's plans. I think he wanted out but didn't know how to do it. Now he's going to pay the ultimate price," he says dropping into the chair across from me.

"He also told me he suspected my feelings for you during training but let it slide because he saw a positive change in me and knew my Abnegation background would never let me show you any favoritism. He was watching you, too, and saw what I saw, strength and determination. That's why he told the council he wanted us to take Dauntless over.

"When I asked about how to implement the changes, he couldn't really help me. Erudite has basically been running Dauntless for years now. All the direction has been coming directly from Jeanine Matthews for as long as Max has been a leader. She would give an order, and he would follow it. To him, it was simple. They were trying to weed out the weak members and those who went against the grain. I found out a lot of good people were made factionless for very minor infractions." He leans forward a little in his seat and becomes very serious.

"He told us to watch our backs, Tris. There are still some members of Dauntless who are Erudite loyalists, although he doesn't know who they are. He wasn't privy to all the information. Since he wasn't planted here, he wasn't fully trusted. He doesn't know how many there are or how deep the conspiracy goes. He also requested we not attend the executions. He wants Dauntless as a whole to move on. I agreed we wouldn't be there but I couldn't guarantee that some Dauntless members wouldn't want to witness their punishment. I see you've been busy," he says nodding toward the open files on the desk.

"Just going over some of the previous initiation training plans. The first cabinet has all the apartment data so we can start working on the initiates' apartment assignments. The next two cabinets have a file on every member of Dauntless, past and present. The fourth cabinet has all the training manuals and information. The last cabinet has numerous miscellaneous files that will take a while to go through. I left the computer for you. I'm okay with computers but I figured since you worked with them in the control room that you would be more efficient."

We note the time and exit the office, locking it behind us, and head to our table in the cafeteria. Everyone is already there. All eyes fall on us, and I can tell supper will be full of questions. I sit next to Christina, and Tobias slides in next to me. While we're eating our hamburgers, lettuce salad, fruit salad, and Dauntless cake, we answer one question after another. Just as Shauna is about to ask another, I see Tori come into the cafeteria so I nudge Tobias and nod in her direction.

"Sorry, Shauna, but Tris and I have to go talk to someone," Tobias says in his Four voice. He's getting irritated with all the questions. I rub my hand across his Amity tattoo to tell him to be nice. He looks down at me and groans a little then he adds, "We'll be back and answer any other questions you have." We walk to Tori side-by-side. She notices us approaching and smiles.

"Hey Four, Tris. Are all the rumors I've been hearing today true?" she asks.

"I can't say because I don't know what you've heard," Tobias says, irritation seeping into his voice. Once again I touch his Amity tattoo. She doesn't know we've been answering the same questions for the past half hour.

"I heard all our leaders got mixed up in something really bad and have been arrested and you two were appointed new leaders."

"Yeah, that's pretty much what happened, although there's more to it than that." I quickly tell her the whole story. When I finish, most of the color has left her face.

"We have a proposition for you," Tobias says. "Tris and I want you to join us in leadership. We decided three would be better than two. We'll give you 24 hours to make your decision."

"I don't need any time, Four," she says. "My answer's yes. I've always wanted an opportunity like this since my brother died. I know I can make a difference. Thank you for giving me the chance."

"We have a meeting at 7 p.m. in the auditorium to address all the rumors. I'll introduce you and Tris then."

"We better get back to our supper so we can make the announcement on time," I say. Tobias and I head back to our table, and the questions start back up right where they left off as soon as we sit down.

A little before 7 p.m., we make our way to the auditorium. This is a place in Dauntless I've never been before. It's larger than the cafeteria. The walls are lined with floor to ceiling heavy black drapery. The floor is a polished concrete with a giant Dauntless seal painted in the center. At one end of the room is a permanent stage, and in front of the stage sits row after row of black metal folding chairs with black vinyl padded seats Tobias had maintenance set up today. Tori meets us shortly before 7 p.m., and we go up on stage and watch hundreds of Dauntless members file in. At a couple of minutes after 7 p.m., with his Four mask firmly in place, Tobias approaches the microphone and asks the crowd to quiet down. After another minute the auditorium is silent.

"For those of you who don't know, my name is Four. This is Tori and Tris," he says motioning to Tori and me with his hands. "We're here today to address the rumors spreading through the compound. Yesterday morning it was brought to my attention by Abnegation council members that our leaders, along with various members of Erudite including Jeanine Matthews, were arrested for conspiring to overthrow Abnegation. All five of our leaders are scheduled to be executed Monday." A hushed gasp spreads through the crowd.

"At Max's recommendation, Tris and I were named the new leaders of Dauntless. After much thought and consideration, we decided it was necessary to add a third leader, Tori. We pledge to you to do the best job we can for Dauntless and restore its good name." The crowd erupts in cheer, pumping their fists and stomping their feet. After they quiet down, Tobias continues. "I talked with Max today, and he requests no members attend the executions, that we try to get back to normal. I'll leave it up to each one of you whether or not you want to honor his request."

"We're aware our hardworking initiates were to choose jobs and get apartment assignments tonight but regrettably the ceremony is going to be postponed until Tuesday at 7 p.m. Next Saturday there'll be a Welcome to Dauntless party right here in the auditorium starting at 8 p.m. When the meeting is dismissed, we need all initiates to stay for a quick briefing," I say.

"Four, Tris, and I all want to let you know that we're here for you. If you need anything, don't hesitate to contact one of us," Tori says. "In addition to my leadership position, I will still be working part time in the tattoo parlor so I can be reached there or in my office, which was Bull's. Four's office was Max's and Tris's office was Eric's."

"We'll open up the floor now and answer any questions you have," Tobias says. We answer the same questions we've been asked so many times since this all started to come out but Tobias never lets his agitation show. He's going to be a great leader. After about 10 questions each, we let everyone go but the initiates. Once we're all gathered together, Tobias addresses us.

"I know this delay is unwelcome, especially since you'll have to spend a few more nights in the dorms. You'll each receive 100 points for compensation but don't expect them to be there until tomorrow. Once the list of available jobs is created, we'll let you know."

"Is there going to be a leader position available" Peter asks.

"Tori, Tris, and I will discuss a leader-in-training position when we discuss job openings. Any other questions?" Everyone shakes their heads then start to walk away once he dismisses them.

"Christina!" I call out. She turns back toward me with a smile. "I almost forgot. How would you feel about helping me plan the party?" She squeals in delight and grabs me in a bear hug. "I'll take that as a yes!" I hug her back.

"Oh, Tris, thank you-thank you-thank you!"

"You're welcome." She hugs me tighter. "Let's start planning tomorrow afternoon. I have meetings with Four and Tori all morning."

"Okay, I'll see you at breakfast." She waves and runs to catch up with Will.

"Ready to go?" Tobias asks, his mouth against my ear. I notice we're all alone so I take advantage and wrap my arms around his waist and lean into him. He pulls me closer and wraps his arms around me. I feel him kiss my hair.

"Yeah," I say. "I need some time alone with you." We walk hand-in-hand back to his place. We collapse on the couch the moment we enter the apartment.

"Christina and I are going to start planning the party tomorrow afternoon. She's so excited." He puts his arm around me and pulls me close to his side.

"I need to talk to you about something. What would you say if I asked you to move in with me? Before you answer let me explain something. As leaders we're entitled to new apartments. They all have multiple bedrooms. I'd be in one room and you'd have your own room … until we're ready to share one." _Live_ with Tobias. Am I ready for that?

"Separate bedrooms?" I ask. I pull away and look up into his eyes. I need to see his face. He's looking me in the eye but his expression is carefully guarded. Equal parts trepidation and excitement bubble up inside me. "I need to think about it, Tobias," I say hugging him close. "I'm not sure if I'm ready for that."

"Take as much time as you want," he says. "How about after your meeting with Christina tomorrow we look at the apartments. No pressure. You'll get one either way."

"I'd love to," I say.


	8. Chapter 8

The incessant buzzing of the alarm wakes me with a start. Tobias once again must have carried me to bed last night. I shut off the alarm and wonder briefly what it would be like to wake up with Tobias next to me instead of having him across the room and realize I've made my decision. I roll over and look at the couch and disappointment courses through me. He isn't there. I look toward the bathroom but the door is standing wide open and the room is dark. I get up and notice a sheet of paper on the nightstand.

VI

I woke up early and went for a run. I'll be back soon.

I love you.

IV

His note makes me smile. I know he'll be back soon and need a shower so I hurry through my morning routine. Just as I come out of the bathroom the apartment door opens.

"Good morning," he says.

"Good morning. Did you have a nice run?" I ask.

"I did. I really need to get back to my usual workout routine. It makes me feel better." He grabs an outfit from his dresser and goes into the bathroom leaving the door ajar like he always does. When he's done he comes straight to me and lifts me off my feet and places his lips on mine. I lose all sense of time when he kisses me like this. He finally pulls back.

"I made a decision, Tobias," I say, looking directly in his sparkling eyes. "Yes."

"Yeah!" he says, excitement in his voice.

"Yeah!"

With a smile he says, "I'm going to like having you around every morning."

"Me too," I pull his mouth back to mine. I wasn't finished kissing him yet. But once again he pulls away too soon for me and sits me back on my feet. I make an exaggerated pouty face at him, so he leans down and lightly kisses me again.

"I love you, Tobias."

"I love you, too. How about breakfast or do you want to stay here and make out until we have to meet Tori?" he asks with a smirk.

"Don't tempt me mister," I say moving to pull his mouth back to mine when my stomach growls. I look at him bashfully and he grins. "Stupid stomach. I guess _it's_ going to get what it wants." He just laughs, takes me by the hand, and leads me to the cafeteria.

After breakfast, Tobias and I meet Tori in his office. We discuss adding more leaders or leaders-in-training but decide it isn't necessary at this time, and we decide to make the list of available jobs later. Tori and I divide up the remaining paper files and sort through them as Tobias starts sifting through the digital files.

After lunch, Christina and I head to my office. After making all the initial decisions for the party including music, refreshments, and attire, I decide to tell her I'm moving in with Tobias.

"I have some news." She raises her eyes to mine, expectation on her face. "Four and I are moving in together."

"Wow! That's a big step. Are you really ready for that?" I know what she's thinking about, my fear landscape. "Have you two..." She lets the question dwindle, hanging in the air.

"No we haven't slept together, and yes I'm ready to live with him. I thought a lot about it last night and what helps is we'll have separate bedrooms until we're ready to share one. We're getting closer but I'm still not ready to have sex with him quite yet. I honestly don't think he's ready either."

"Will and I are getting closer too but it's hard when there are other people sleeping in the same room," she says matter-of-factly.

"I'm really sorry for the apartment assignment delay. We're still trying to wrap our heads around everything. We finally found the apartment assignment log book, and I'm working on it. You can't imagine how much paperwork there is." I say.

"It's okay, Tris. It isn't your fault our former leaders are criminals," she says to me with a chuckle. "I'm starting to tune Peter out." I groan at the mention of his name.

"That bad?" I ask.

"He's just being his asinine self. I think he'd still complain even if he got everything he wanted."

"I know one more thing he's going to complain about then," I tell her.

"No leadership training position this year?" she asks.

"Technically, it went to me, and Four, Tori, and I decided not to add any other leaders at this time. We're going to see how it works with just the three of us. I hope he doesn't complain too much."

"I'm sure Peter will be fine. Do you know the available jobs yet?"

"Not all of them. There's a control room position available. Will would be ideal for that job. It makes me wish all positions could be assigned instead of chosen based on ranking. Peter may have ranked above you and Will but you two are much more responsible than he ever will be," I say matter-of-factly.

"Will would love working in the control room. Hopefully, no one else will pick that if he's interested."

"My advice is not to talk to him about it around any other initiates. I don't think anyone would take a spot just to spite someone else but you never know." Peter's face flashes in my mind as I say this. I'm sure she's thinking the same thing. "Maybe Peter would. He's as vindictive as they come. Once I know what the available jobs are, I'll let you know." A knock echoes throughout the glass-walled room as Tori and Tobias walk in.

"Ready to go?" Tobias asks. Christina and I get up and walk to the door.

"Let's finalize the plans for the party Wednesday after lunch, Christina," I say. "See you at supper."

"See you later, Tris," she says to me, then she looks at Tobias and Tori, "Four, Tori."

"Tori's going to look at the apartments with us and pick hers also," Tobias says to me. I have no idea where the leaders' private quarters are, so I follow Tobias and Tori. Across the hallway is an unmarked door, and beyond it is a double wide black metal staircase going up a one level. At the head of the stairway is a long hallway with five doors.

"I've been told they're all different but I've never seen them, so shall we take a look?" Tobias says.

Tori takes the first apartment then goes back to the tattoo parlor for the rest of the day. When Tobias opens the third apartment door, I know I'm home. By my sharp intake of breath, he knows I love it. To my left, against the wall, is a bank of glossy white cabinets with black knobs and pulls and full-size glossy white appliances the exact same color as the cabinets. Topping the base cabinets are matte black quartz countertops with little flecks of white glass. In front of the cabinets is a sizable island, big enough to seat approximately eight, made of the same materials and colors as the wall cabinets. The backsplash consists of white, blue, and strategically placed black 1 in x 1 in square glass tiles.

In front of me, across the room, are floor to ceiling windows that stretch from just beyond the cabinets to the wall across the room. Under my feet are the most gorgeous wide plank hand scraped light hardwood floors. The walls are all a pale shade of blue that complement the floors and the backsplash. To my right is a staircase that leads to a second floor and a small basic powder room with a white octagonal tile floor, simple sink and mirror combination, a toilet, and a small linen closet.

"Is this the one?" Tobias quietly asks.

"Can we see upstairs?" I ask, my voice quivering. He takes my hand and leads me up the floating staircase. When I reach the second floor I'm greeted by the same hardwood floors and blue-colored walls. I look around and see four doors. I go to the one directly in front of me and find a small bedroom with a basic closet. I head out of the room and turn down the hallway. I open the next door and find a spacious bathroom. Again it's very basic with octagonal white tile on the floor and subway tile in the walk-in shower, the same blue-painted walls like the rest of the apartment, an old-fashioned claw foot soaker tub next to the shower, toilet, sink and mirror combination, and a large linen closet. Directly across the hall from the bathroom is a bedroom that identically matches the first. I back out of the room and open the final door. In front of me is a spacious master bedroom with large his-and-hers closets. I turn and look up at Tobias with tears overflowing my eyes.

" _This_ can be our home?" I whisper. I notice tears swimming in his eyes also. I run into his arms, and he hold me tightly in silence. Soon he lets me go, takes my face in his hands, and gazes into my eyes.

"I've never had a home before," he says, emotion thick in his voice. "As a child I lived in fear in Marcus' house. The past two years I have lived in doubt in Dauntless' apartment feeling like I didn't fit in. So yes, I would _love_ this to be our home." He gently presses his lips to mine and kisses me.

"I love you," I tell him when we part. "You deserve a home, Tobias. A place to feel safe and loved and to just be yourself."

"My home is where you are, Tris. _You_ make me feel safe. _You_ make me feel loved. I've never been more myself than when I'm with you. I love you … so much." I tilt my head back and his lips land on mine again. Passion bubbles up within me, and I cling to him tighter than I ever have. We break apart and gaze into one another's eyes letting our heart rates return to normal.

After a short silence, Tobias clears his throat and says, "Maybe we should get back to work." I agree with a nod of my head. I'm still a little choked up over his admission. "I have something to show you on the computer." We walk back down to his office, and he locks the door behind us. That seems strange.

"Why'd you lock the door, Tobias?" I ask.

"I found something hidden on the hard drive. For right now I'm only telling you about it. Once we figure out what it means, if it means anything, we'll let Tori know."

"I don't know, Tobias. It doesn't seem right to keep her in the dark immediately. We included her for a reason. I don't think we should be keeping things from her." He flashes a brilliant smile at me.

"Okay. We'll tell Tori about it on Monday. We're all off tomorrow unless there's an emergency. Does that sound reasonable?"

"Look at us compromising. I'm so proud!" He laughs at me and turns the computer on. I stand behind him and peer over his right shoulder. After a few keystrokes a folder appears on the screen. He clicks on it and several other folders appear.

"I haven't been through all these files yet but they were well hidden, even more so than the Erudite war files, which seemed suspicious to me. What I've looked at so far seemed to be generated here at Dauntless and didn't come from Erudite. This file troubles me the most. It was created by Eric." He clicks on the file and up pops two lists of names. I notice his name and mine are on the first list and Peter's names is on the second list. I don't recognize any of the other names. "I'm suspicious the first list of names are suspected Divergents. I think the second list might be names of the people Max warned me about."

"If it's about Divergents, why is your name on the list?" He takes a deep breath and looks over his shoulder at me.

"Because I'm Divergent."


	9. Chapter 9

Divergent? Confusion and hurt fill me. He told me his aptitude test results were Abnegation. Was he lying to me? Anger starts to rapidly replace the confusion. I have to remind myself to breathe and calm down.

" _Divergent_?" I choke. "You told me you only got Abnegation on your aptitude test." I try to keep the hurt and accusation out of my voice.

"I did," he says. "I did exactly what Marcus prompted me to do. I didn't dare go against him but he never told me why he was preparing me. I don't know if it was a fluke result or what. I learned about my divergence during the simulations. I thought it was normal, to be able to manipulate things. My instructor, Amar, taught me how to hide it. I thought I was doing a good job but maybe not." The anger dies within me.

"Why didn't you tell me this when I asked you in the chasm?"

"Why did you lie to me when I first confronted you during your second simulation?" He's right, I lied to him. All he did was not confirm my suspicions. He didn't lie to me.

"I never apologized to you for lying. I'm sorry." He swivels the desk chair around and pulls me onto his lap. "Tori administered my test and told me _never_ to tell anyone because it was dangerous for me. Then my mom confronted me on visitation day. She already knew about me, and she, too, told me never to tell anyone. Not friends, instructors, _no one_. At the time you confronted me, I wasn't sure if I could trust you."

"I understand. Amar gave me the same warnings. Don't be upset with me that I didn't tell you sooner. I still have some trouble opening up, even to you."

"I'm not upset," I say lightly touching his face.

"You were. Don't deny it. I could hear it in your voice." I cringe a little as he covers my hand with his.

"I was, but the moment you explained, all I felt was foolish," I say. We both let our hands fall. "Do you recognize any of the other names on the lists?"

"A few. Zeke and Uriah's mother is on the first list." He pauses for a second like he is trying to make a decision. "There's something you should know. Uriah is Divergent. It became evident in his simulations. I gave him the same warning I gave you."

"Uriah too? What about Zeke?"

"Not that I'm aware of."

"What are we going to do about these lists, Tobias?"

"I think we need to research each person on both lists then identify them and keep close watch on them. Once we discuss this with Tori, maybe I'll enlist Zeke's help in the control room."

"Let's try not to worry about this for the rest of the weekend. We'll pick things up Monday morning with Tori." I start to get up off his lap but his arms become like iron vises keeping me rooted where I am. He places his lips in the valley below my left ear and lightly kisses me, causing a shiver to rush down my spine.

"Where do you think you're going? The work day's over, you're mine now." He swiftly moves his mouth from my neck to my mouth. I welcome his lips on mine and run my fingers through his hair. When he moves his mouth back to my neck I take the opportunity to ask him a question.

"Do you think you'll get tired of me hanging around all the time? Home, work?"

"No. I don't think I will." He nuzzles his head on my shoulder. "I believe we'll only get better with time."

"You seem so relaxed right now when just a few days ago you were so tense. I like the change."

"I do, too. You seem more at ease and sure of yourself," he says. "I told you, we've had a profound impact on each other's lives." His stomach growls and I laugh.

"I know I would rather stay behind closed doors with you but I think it's time for a public appearance, Tobias." He lets me off his lap after one last lingering kiss, and we walk hand-in-hand to the cafeteria. Almost every step of the way we're met with stares and hellos from total strangers. This is going to take some getting used to. We finally reach our table and relax with our friends.

The whole table is buzzing with party plans. Christina has taken a poll and decided the party needs to be formal, so I definitely need a new dress. I make plans to go dress shopping with Marlene, Lynne, and Christina on Monday night after dinner. I personally think Christina wanted it formal just so she had an excuse to shop, not that she really needs an excuse to shop!

Christina asks about my apartment, and I tell her we picked one out but won't be moving in until the other initiates get their apartment assignments. I think that's only fair. Why should I be in my own place when they're all stuck in the dorms?

After supper's over Tobias says he has a surprise for me in the Pit, and when he leads me into the furniture store, I ask, "What's going on, Four?"

"We need to pick out furniture for our apartment," he says matter-of-factly. He pulls a spec sheet out of his pocket so we know what pieces will fit in the space.

We choose four glossy white ladder back and four glossy black backless wooden barstools for the island. We get a black wrought iron entertainment center that's specifically designed to fit under a staircase and a matching bookcase. We pick out a loveseat and extra wide club chair with ottoman that match the couch Tobias recently bought. We see an area rug that looks a lot like the backsplash, so we get it to tie the living room with the kitchen. Then we move to bedroom furniture.

"How about we pick a bedroom set out and put it in the master bedroom. We can put my set in one of the smaller rooms and use the third bedroom as a home office."

"That sounds good," I say. I'm a little bit nervous looking at beds with Tobias but I push through the anxiety. Most of the beds look the same but one stands out to me. It's a plain soft white, fabric-covered, crystal-tufted headboard that stands approximately five feet tall with matching nightstands and dresser. There's also a free standing mirror that matches the bed. Tobias sees me eyeing the set.

"That's nice," he says.

"It isn't too feminine is it? After all it will be yours, too," I say, my face catching fire. "Eventually."

"Not at all. I like it. It's a refreshing change from black." He laughs.

"Then yes, this is definitely the one," I say. I can't help but laugh with him. "I have to admit I didn't think I'd ever get to see color again once I chose Dauntless."

"I'm going to have the furniture delivered and set up. Should we go pick out bedding and other stuff?"

"How about we do it tomorrow." I say as I thread my fingers through his.

"Okay," he says. We pay for our purchases and head to his apartment for the night.

I wake up at a little before 5 a.m. I try to go back to sleep but I'm wide awake so I decide to go to the training room and work off some aggression. I leave a note for Tobias and head down the path to one of my favorite places in Dauntless. About an hour later, I hear the door close and look over to see him walk in.

"Good morning," I say.

"You snuck out on me this morning."

"I couldn't sleep, so I thought I'd blow off some steam." I say turning back to the punching bag. We workout side-by-side for an hour, and then I'm ready for a shower.

"I'm going to go take a shower. Can I have the keys?" He gives me his apartment keys and kisses me goodbye. I go back to his place and get ready for a relaxing Sunday. When he comes through the door, I'm sitting on the couch.

"Did I forget to lock it?" I say, surprise crossing my face.

He laughs a little and says, "No, you didn't." He comes over to me and hands me the key he just unlocked the door with. "This is my spare key. I went to Zeke's place and got it this morning. I want you to have it until we move into our place."

"Our place … I like the sound of that. Thanks," I say as I slide the key into my pocket. I stand up and give him a kiss being careful not to touch his sweaty body. He goes into the bathroom and takes a quick shower and gets dressed. When he comes into the living room, he joins me on the couch. We decide to go to the department store after breakfast.

We pick blue, white, and black bath and kitchen towels, crisp soft white sheets, and a blue and black handmade Amity quilt. We take the purchases to the new apartment and drop them off.

"What would you like to do today?" Tobias asks me while we walk toward the cafeteria. An idea crosses my mind but he'll never go for it.

"After lunch, let's get out of here. It's been too long since I've been out."

"Do you have a destination in mind?"

"Yes, I do but I'm not going to tell you," I laugh. "It's a surprise."

"Alright. I'll let Tori know we're leaving the compound for the afternoon."

After a hearty meal, Tobias follows me to the tracks. When the train approaches, we run alongside, and he effortlessly jumps on then helps me in. I sit on the bench opposite the door and watch him lean out the opening like he enjoys to do sometimes. I don't know how it does it but the wind makes his already close-fitting shirt even tighter. I'm examining every flawless muscle when he startles me.

"Where are we going, Tris?" he calls over his perfect shoulder.

"Patience, Tobias! We'll get there soon," I say, shaking my head. Soon I see the familiar skyline of the Navy Pier. I get up and walk to Tobias.

"Navy Pier huh? I'm not climbing the Ferris wheel again, Tris," he says.

"We don't have to climb the Ferris wheel," I say. I kiss his lips then jump off the train landing on my feet. I keep running, forced forward by the momentum of jumping from the train. Soon Tobias is running alongside me. We slow down, and I take his hand.

"We don't have to climb the Ferris wheel. We can sit on the Carrousel or walk out to the lighthouse but it might help you face your fear." Tobias gazes down at me with a blank look on his face. I can't tell what he's thinking.

"Fine," he says pulling me toward the Ferris wheel. Before I start to climb, I look in Tobias' eyes. I see equal parts dread and resolve.

"Are you sure?" I ask. He nods. "I'm going to climb to the platform." I test the first rung once again to make sure it will hold my weight. When I'm sure I'll be fine, I climb the ladder toward my destination. I hear Tobias' strained breathing behind me. I sit down on the platform, dangling my feet over the edge, and Tobias crouches down on the platform just like he did the night we won capture the flag.

I look off to my left at the marsh. I can almost imagine what it looked like full of water. If I remember correctly from history class they called it Lake Michigan. I look back at Tobias, and his face is set with determination. I no longer see the fear but it's radiating off him in waves, and his breathing is still labored. I move closer to him and take his hand.

"Do you know where this fear came from?" I ask.

"No, I don't."

"But you conquer it on a daily basis at the compound. Why do you think it's still in your fear landscape?"

"Probably because it would be hard to change my name to Three." A joke. That's a good sign. I roll my eyes at him, and he grins at me. I try to keep his mind off of the height by asking simple questions.

"Do you like the furniture we picked out last night?"

"I do. It all goes very well together. You like it, don't you?"

"I love it actually. I can't wait to see it in our apartment," I say giddily. "Is there anything else we need?"

"Kitchen things like pots and pans. Unless we don't want to cook."

"Can you cook?" I ask, suddenly craving his answer.

"Abnegation," he points at himself, "remember."

"Yeah, of course. Sorry. Sometimes I forget. You fit into Dauntless so seamlessly."

"It's a bit of a struggle at times but not as much since you got here. I was born for Abnegation."

"I know what you mean. There are days I think I could have just as easily chose that life. It would have been easier but it definitely wouldn't have been as fun, and we couldn't do this." I look at our hands. "Or this." I softly press my lips against his.

After we part, I let my mind wander back over our short relationship: Our eyes meeting as he pulled me out of the net, his touch on my stomach at the punching bags, climbing the Ferris wheel the night we won capture the flag, going through his fear landscape, our first kiss, him telling me he loves me. When I look back at Tobias' face his calm demeanor has slipped away. I know he needs to get down.

"I'm tired. Shall we go?" He immediately agrees and starts climbing down the ladder. I smile a little and follow behind him. At least this time the Ferris wheel stays intact, and I don't need rescuing.

"I know what you did," he says when I reach the bottom.

"I don't know what you're talking about," I say, avoiding his eyes.

"Tris," he evenly says, cupping my chin and tilting my head up. I take his hands in mine and look up into his eyes.

"You were panicking," I say. He nods once. He doesn't like admitting weakness. "I thought I would take the lead and get us to the ground ... _without_ mentioning the panic. Plus my 5 a.m. morning is catching up with me. I _am_ tired." One minute I'm standing on my feet and the next he's flung me over his shoulder, knocking the breath out of me, and is carrying me toward the train.

"Well, I better get you to bed then," he says. I know what he means but my stomach tightens, and I blush anyway.

"Tobias Eaton! Put me down this instant," I shriek but he just laughs at me and keeps walking. I love the sound of his laugh; it makes him sound younger, lighter. When we get to the train he sits me on my feet and gives me a quick peck on the top of my head. I fold my arms across my chest stubbornly. The minute we get back on the train he has me up in his arms, cradling my back with one arm and my knees with the other. I'm ready to spend the train ride pouting when I realize just how close our faces are, so I wrap my left arm around his neck and pull his mouth to mine. After a moment I pull back slightly and smile.

"If you insist on carrying me around Tobias, I prefer you do it this way," I say before placing my lips on the pulse point on his neck. I playfully run my left hand through his dark hair and tease his ear a little. I feel his heartbeat increase below my lips and smile. His breath comes quicker, and he sits us down on the bench, keeping me in his arms. I kiss my way to his ear and nibble a little gauging his reaction the entire time. His arms grip me a little tighter. I glance out the train door and realize we're approaching Dauntless.

"Tobias," I say in his ear, "you're going to have to let me down."

"Never," he growls. I giggle.

"We're almost home." He opens his eyes, sighs, and sits me on my feet. I smile at him. "I know it's a little early but let's grab some food and take it to your place." He readily agrees.

We jump off the train and head to the cafeteria. We each make a plate including Dauntless cake and stop by the tattoo parlor to let Tori know that we're back before we go to his apartment. I put both our slices of cake in his fridge for later then sit on the couch. We eat in silence. After I'm finished, I excuse myself to the bathroom. After I brush my teeth, I take my hair out of its bun and comb it out. Then I change into a new knit sleep set with black shorts and a lace-covered black camisole top. I take several deep breaths trying to calm my nerves. When we were on the train we were in public so I wasn't nervous at all but now that we're alone in his apartment, my heart is racing. After silently repeating to myself several times, "I have nothing to fear," I leave the bathroom.

Tobias is sitting on the couch in sleep pants and a tight black tank top. I admire his perfect body while I walk across the room, and he looks me up and down.

"You look great," he says. "How about a movie?"

"Thanks, Tobias. A movie's great. Do you want me to pick one out?"

"Sure," he says. I pick the first DVD I see and pop it in the player thinking I won't really pay attention. I cuddle up against his side and within a few minutes we're both engrossed in the thriller.

After the movie ends, Tobias gets our cake out of the fridge. With a few bites left a playful impulse hits me. I dip my finger in the chocolate frosting and leisurely lick it off, making sure he sees me. I dip my finger again, move it toward my mouth, then quickly swipe it across his cheek. The look on his face sets off a giggling fit then he tackles me pulling me down to the floor on my back, straddling me. He dips his finger in the icing and goes to spread it on my cheek but I turn my head and it smears across my mouth. I stick my tongue out to lick the frosting off but he stops me.

"Let me help you with that," he roughly says, an undeniable hunger in his eyes. He slowly lowers his mouth to mine and kisses the frosting off. He pulls back and licks his lips. I lean forward and boldly lick the frosting off his cheek. I lie back and immediately his mouth finds mine again. I enjoy the taste of chocolate on his tongue. I wrap my arms around him pulling myself closer to him. We kiss for minutes or maybe it's hours when he moves his right hand from my waist slowly up my ribcage under my sleep shirt. When he approaches my breasts, I tense up, and he moves it back down to my waist. After a few more minutes he pulls back and leans above me on his left forearm.

"Every touch," he reaches down and glides his hand across my bare skin from just below my knee up to my thigh, leaving a trail of heat. "Every kiss," he presses his lips to my knit-and-lace-covered heart sending an electric impulse straight between my thighs, "is just as new to me as it is to you."

I raise my hands up, cradle his face, and slowly bring his mouth to mine. I kiss him for a moment before letting him go.

"I didn't mean to tense up on you. Your hand was getting close…" I let the words trail off, embarrassment flushing my face. "I'm not ready to have sex with you," I whisper.

"I know and don't apologize. I need you to remember something, Tris. Every first you experience, I'm experiencing, too. We're experiencing the same fear, the same doubt, the same exhilaration. I'm in no hurry. I'm enjoying this journey," he says. "That doesn't mean I don't get carried away at times. Always tell me how you're feeling and what you want."

"I do forget this is all new to you, too," I tell him stroking his cheek. "Is it wrong to say I'm glad we're experiencing all this together?"

"No. I'm glad we are too," he says. "So, Tris, what do you want to do right now?" I look into his eyes, searching for what, I'm not sure.

"Let's go to the chasm. You aren't the only one who gets carried away you know." I slowly pull his mouth to mine, cautioning him with my eyes. He kisses me slowly but thoroughly then he gets up and reaches his hand down to help me. I dress in black yoga pants and a black tank top and he exchanges his sleep pants for a pair of black sweat pants. We slowly walk down to the Pit. No one's around so we take the little path down to the rocks where we shared our first kiss. He sits down on the largest rock and pulls me down to sit between his legs with my back to his chest. He wraps his strong arms around me tightly like he's afraid I'll jump into the river. We sit listening to the roar of the water. He kisses my neck every so often sending shivers down my spine. I let my mind wander to our first encounter on these rocks, and it makes a huge smile cross my lips. I turn in Tobias' arms and face him.

"Remember the last time we were here?" I say to him. He nods. He must have been thinking the same thing. "You told me you liked me, and I couldn't believe my luck. The guy I liked, liked me too." I caress his cheek. "Then you kissed me."

"Now he loves you," he says, "and is going to kiss you again."

"I love you, Tobias," I say before his mouth meets mine. After a while, I pull away, breathless, and smile up at him. "Not that I want this night to end but it's getting late. Maybe we should get back."

"You're right." He helps me to my feet, takes my hand, and leads me up the path out of the chasm. When we reach the top of the path he drops my hand and puts his arm around my shoulder and pulls me close to him. I drape my arm around his waist and hold him just at tight. At his apartment we change back into our night clothes and get ready for bed. When I come out of the bathroom and get in bed, Tobias goes in after me. When he walks out a few minutes later, he comes toward me to set the alarm.

"Tobias?" I ask shyly. He looks at me. "Sleep here tonight," I say touching the bed beside me. Surprise crosses his face.

"Are you sure?" he asks.

"I'm asking for what I want." I pat the bed beside me. I want to wake up beside him, not have him across the room. He finishes setting the alarm and turns the light off. He lifts the covers up on the other side of the bed and slides in between them. He lies perfectly still next to me, anxiety radiating off him. I slide closer, find his arm, and move it so it's around me. I lean into him and rest my head on his shoulder and my hand on his chest. After a while, I feel him relax, and he kisses the top of my head.

"Good night, Tris," he says. "I love you."

"Good night, Tobias. I love you, too."


	10. Chapter 10

I wake to Tobias getting out of bed. He goes into the bathroom and comes out a few minutes later dressed even though it's only a little before 5 a.m.

"Where are you going?" I ask, sleep still audible in my voice.

"For a run," he says as he kisses my forehead. "Go back to sleep." Staying in bed doesn't sound as enjoyable without having Tobias lying next to me.

"You want some company?" I ask since I'm awake now.

"Sure," he says. I throw on my yoga pants, a racer back tank top, and black running shoes. I tie my hair back in a ponytail and pin all loose hanging hair away from my face with a barrette.

We run a few miles then head to the training room to work out on the punching bags. I suggested some hand-to-hand but I think he's worried about hurting me because he wouldn't even entertain the idea. After about an hour of vigorous jabs and kicks, my body is screaming at me for a shower.

I tell Tobias I'm going back to the apartment and get ready for work. I stay in the shower longer than I mean to, letting the hot water work out all the knots in my muscles but I can't help it, it feels so good. I come out of the bathroom fully expecting him to be waiting to take his shower but he isn't home yet. I wait in the apartment until 8 a.m. then go looking for him.

I head to the training room but it's abandoned. Thinking he went to pick up some breakfast before cleaning up I go to the cafeteria. He's nowhere to be found. I approach our table and ask our friends if they've seen him but they answer no. Now I'm starting to worry. I'm close to the chasm so I check our spot, nothing. I force myself to calm down and check his office but he isn't there either. I've run out of places to look, so I go to my office. I know I'll be able to see him when he passes by.

I pass the time looking at the two lists Tobias found on Saturday. I go back to Tobias' office and pull the personnel file of the first name, Angela Daniels: Candor born, 20 years old, single, fifth rank at 11 minutes 45 seconds, trainer – Amar. All the information about her training and simulations looks normal. I decide to pull my file and compare notes. Before I can open the folder, Tobias walks into my office. He's still in his workout clothes, and he looks frazzled.

"Where have you been?" I anxiously ask. "I looked everywhere for you. Are you okay?" I get up from my desk and go to him.

"There was an incident at the train tracks. A Daniel Parks was injured. I took him to the infirmary." _Infirmary!_ Why didn't I think to check there? "There was a fight, and he was beaten badly. The doctor says there's a chance he won't make it." He sits down on the leather barrel armchair, and I lean against my heavy glass desk crossing my arms across my chest to comfort myself and face him. "I interviewed the witnesses, if you can call them that, and not one of them had anything helpful to say. Two Dauntless members on one. No one had ever seen any of the three before."

"Daniel Parks? Why does that name sound familiar?" He looks curiously at me. Just then the reason the name sounds familiar hits me like a ton of bricks. "Oh, God! Tobias, Daniel Parks in on the first list of names." I turn toward my desk and search for the printed list, and when I find it, I hand it to him. He looks over the list then looks up at me, shock clear on his face.

"Samaire Towne was one of the witnesses. She's on the other list." This instant I know we have a storm brewing in Dauntless.

"Why don't you go home and get cleaned up. I'm going to get Tori and get her up to speed. When you're done, meet us in your office." He leaves to get cleaned up. After I secure the files I was looking at, I leave my office, and I go to the tattoo parlor and get Tori.

"Hey Tori. We need you early today," I say. "There's something important Four and I need to go over with you."

"Do I have time to finish this tat?" she asks.

"Yeah. Meet me in Four's office."

"I'll be there soon, Tris. I'm almost done." I swing by the cafeteria and pick up two banana nut muffins and two cups of coffee for Tobias and me then head to his office. When I get there, I pull both Daniel and Samaire's files. I eat my muffin and drink my coffee while I look over their information. I compare my simulation data to Daniels. Everything with his simulations look normal. I'll have Tobias look them over to see if he notices anything out of the ordinary. I do notice his instructor was also Amar. _Maybe he gave the same warnings and advice to Daniel that he gave Tobias_. A few minutes' later Tori walks in. I sit her down and explain what Tobias found on the computer Saturday. I give her the lists, and she looks them over.

"Tori, you helped cover up my aptitude test results. Have you helped anyone else? I'm not asking this question lightly. I realize it's dangerous for any Divergent to let the truth out but something's happening here." I explain about Daniel's assault and the fact that a name on the second list, Samaire, witnessed it. Tori's face goes slack.

"I recognize all the names on both lists, Tris, but I've gotten to know a lot of people from the tattoo parlor," she says. "Yours is the only aptitude test I've ever come across as inconclusive since I've administered the tests."

Tobias walks in a few minutes later and sits down behind his desk. I tell him Tori's caught up while he eats his muffin and drinks his coffee.

"I'm going to get Zeke involved in this since he's in charge of the control room now. I'm going to schedule an afterhours meeting with him at lunch. This is a very delicate situation, especially since we don't know what the lists mean," he says.

"Have you had an update on Daniel's condition?" I ask.

"No. I thought we could leave for lunch a few minutes early and check on him," he replies.

"I think we need a detailed written account of his injuries for our files. I also think we should get written statements from the witnesses," I say.

"I'll take care of that later today," he says. He turns towards Tori. "What's your take on all of this Tori? Max told us to be careful; there are people who sympathize with Erudite here."

"I really don't know, Four," she says. "I know it isn't safe for Divergents because of certain prejudices but I really don't know what to think about these lists."

"I've only had a chance to look at two files from the names on the first list but I found one similarity, they were both trained by Amar. I also looked at Samaire's file. She wasn't trained by Amar, but she was in the same initiate class as Daniel," I say.

"It's a real possibility even though they were in the same class they didn't know each other," Tori says.

"I don't know," Tobias says. "I don't know everyone in my initiate class but there is another coincidence here, Peter. He was in Tris' initiate class, and come to think of it, Eric generated the lists. He was in my class. We need to double check the lists and see if there are any other class matches."

"Tori and I will get on that right after lunch," I say.

"I'm going to keep going through the computer files to see what else I can find," Tobias says.

"I'm going back to the tattoo parlor for the rest of the morning," Tori says. She looks at me and adds, "I'll meet you in your office after lunch."

"See you, Tori. Thanks for making time to talk this morning." She leaves us alone. I get up from my chair and turn to leave but Tobias stops me.

"Tris, come here," he says. I stop and go to him. He pulls me down on his lap and wraps his arms around me. I wrap my arms around his neck, and he holds me close to him

"What is it, Tobias?" I ask after a long while.

"It's been a rough day," he says into my hair.

"How bad was it at the train track?"

"I honestly think they were going to throw him in front of the train if it weren't for the witnesses. That's what happened to Amar." A breath escapes I didn't even know I was holding. This is bringing back painful memories for him, and it makes my heart ache. I kiss the top of his head and hold him even closer.

"I'm sorry, Tobias. Let's go check on Daniel and see how he's doing," I say. He sighs, kisses me briefly, and then lets me up. We take our time walking to the infirmary. I know he's really thinking of Amar right now, and I don't interrupt the silence.

We meet with Daniel's doctor to check on his condition and to request a written account of his injuries for our investigation. He has a broken wrist, broken jaw, broken collarbone, four broken ribs, a concussion, and multiple bruises and abrasions. The doctor is concerned about brain swelling and tells us the next 24 hours are critical. He promises to have a written account for us before supper.

When we leave the infirmary, we decide to go to the cafeteria early for lunch. I'm not surprised when we get there before all our friends. We each grab a plate of baked chicken, green beans, baked potatoes, and apple salad. We forgo the cake for now.

"Four? I'm supposed to go shopping with the girls tonight. Do you want me to cancel?" I'm worried about him. He isn't acting like the Tobias I've come to know and love these past few days.

"No, Tris. You go and have fun with your friends tonight. Why don't you see if Shauna, Ella, Ciara, and Kirsten want to join you? I'm going to grab a drink with the guys after my meeting with Zeke anyway, so they'll be alone." His plans for the night put me on edge. The only time I saw him drinking, I didn't like it. I want to tell him I don't want him to drink tonight but I don't know how to approach the subject. Am I entitled to ask him to stop drinking?

"One drink?" I ask.

"Yeah."

"Okay, I'll ask them when I see them later."

Soon our table is full and the conversation is deafening. I invite Shauna, Ella, Ciara, and Kirsten to join Christina, Marlene, Lynn, and me shopping for dresses tonight, and Tobias arranges the afterhours meeting with Zeke and the boy's night later. Christina's really excited about tonight and has the boutique mapped out for a strategic shopping trip.

After lunch, I meet Tori in my office, and we go through the first list of names. The only similarity is Amar trained all of the transfers listed except for me. No one's simulation data seems doctored. My file is the only one that has irregularities in it; Tori entered Abnegation manually as my aptitude test result and Tobias erased my second simulation. I wonder how others have hidden their divergence in the past.

We decide to start on the second list tomorrow. Tori goes to her office for the rest of the day to work on assembling the job openings list, and I go to talk to Tobias. I knock on his door.

"Are you ready to check on Daniel and get the doctor's report?" I ask as I walk in.

"Can you come in?" he asks. "Oh, and lock the door behind you." I turn back toward the door and flip the lock. "Have a seat." I sit down, my anxiety level rising. What's he discovered this time? "I found something and for right now it stays between us, understand?" He's sounding more like Four right now than Tobias.

"Okay. What did you find, Tobias?"

"The first list used to have two additional names on it, George Wu and Amar Atwood. Their names were erased the day after each of them died. This is definitely about Divergents, Tris." Amar, Tobias' mentor and George, Tori's brother. I understand why he wants to keep it between us. He comes around the desk and stands before me. I stand up and wrap my arms around his waist and rest my head on his chest. His heart rate increases as I tighten my arms and draw my body closer to his. He rests his chin on top of my head then sighs. He pulls back and looks in my eyes.

"You are the most important thing to me … _now_ and _forever_. Promise me you'll be careful. I cannot…" He stops abruptly and takes a deep breath. "I _will_ _not_ lose you." A severe look crosses his face and his lips smash against mine in a need-filled kiss. I return his kiss with just as much want. I put all the stress of this day into the kiss. I break away from him only because I'm in desperate need of oxygen. I stare deeply into his dark blue eyes as I pant and get momentarily lost.

"I promise to be careful but you must promise me the same thing. I can't live without you because my heart belongs to you now. Without you, it'll break," I say placing his hand over my heart, emotion thick in my voice. "Are you sure you're okay, Tobias? I'm worried about you."

"Don't worry about me, Tris. I'll be okay. Just a lot of memories flooding back today, memories I'd rather forget."

"You can talk to me about anything you know."

"I know," he says but he doesn't elaborate. Instead he says, "Let's go get that report."

There's been no change in Daniel's status. The doctor gives us a report on his condition and a list of his visitors. I didn't know Tobias had asked for that. We take the reports to his office and lock them away for the night.

After supper Christina, Marlene, Lynn, Shauna, Ella, Ciara, Kirsten, and I go to the boutique to shop for formal dresses for Saturday's party. After today's excitement and stress, the party is the last thing on my mind, and I have to force myself to have a good time but I can't fool Christina.

"What's wrong, Tris?" she asks, studying me carefully.

"It's been a long, stressful day. Honestly, I wanted to cancel tonight but Four thought I could use a night out with the girls. Plus he's having a boy's night with Zeke and the guys."

"Does it have anything to do with that guy taken to the infirmary this morning?" I know I can't reveal all the details but it feels good to talk about it. Rumors are already spreading about the incident by the train this morning.

"Yeah. A fence worker got badly beaten. He might not make it, and there aren't any suspects. I don't think Four and I thought we'd be dealing with something like this, especially so soon." The words rush out of me.

"Four was right you know," she says to me. "You need to balance the stress with some fun. Now let's find you a gorgeous dress that'll make Four's eyes pop out of his head and some new clothes. No offense but you've been wearing the same three outfits for days."

"That's because nothing fits me anymore. Everything is too small." She just laughs at me and pulls me into a dressing room where she throws dress after dress at me to try on. Once I find the perfect one, she starts in with jeans, pants, shirts, and then jackets. The torture ends with shoe shopping. By the time I leave the boutique, I have a whole new wardrobe fit for a Dauntless leader. I have to admit the shopping took my mind off of the events of the day. I say goodbye to Christina and the girls and take my purchases to Tobias' apartment. I pile them by the couch, except for the dress. I hang the garment bag on the back of the closet door.

I'm not expecting Tobias home anytime soon so I get ready for bed and lie down on the couch with a book from his bookshelf. It really doesn't hold my attention and soon I fall asleep. I'm woken up by loud noises coming from across the room. Tobias is stumbling through the door, which opened so hard it dented the plasterboard wall. I knew drinking wouldn't be good for him tonight. He can barely stand. He tries to put a sentence together but all his words are slurring together into childish gibberish. He gets his arms around me, trying to kiss me, and puts his hands where they're not welcome. His actions and foul-smelling breath are a huge turn off.

"Tobias. No," I say, pushing his hands away. "Get into bed. We'll talk in the morning." He attempts another sentence but I have no idea what he's trying to communicate. I take him by the arm, he leans heavily against me to steady himself, and I lead him to the bed. I already had it turned down for the night, so I sit him down on the edge and push him back to lie down. All the time his lips are trying to find mine and his hands are roaming where I don't want them to.

"Four! No!" I shout, slapping his hands. A hurt and confused look crosses his face. "Go to sleep. I'll see you tomorrow." I throw the covers over him, make sure I have my key, and turn out the light. He's a big boy, he can take care of himself.

I leave his apartment and wind my way down to the Pit. It's late, and I don't encounter many people. I take the little dirt path down to the bottom of the chasm, sit on a rock, and watch the water rush by until I can no longer see past the tears. I don't like Tobias drunk let alone plastered. He isn't himself when he has alcohol in his system. I realized that the first time I saw him drunk. I'm going to have to be brave and tell him.

Once the tears are dry, I go to the dorm hoping everyone's asleep. I take a deep breath, readying myself for questions, then I open the door. Luck is with me tonight, no one seems to notice me slip into my bunk. I sigh a little. I never thought I would sleep here again. Soon exhaustion takes me, and I spend a dreamless night missing Tobias' arms around me.


	11. Chapter 11

I wake up after a restless night, and the dorm is still dark and quiet. I lay in my bunk replaying last night's events in my head. I'm afraid tears will start flowing again if I concentrate too hard on Tobias' actions so I force myself to quit thinking about it. I stare at the ceiling, trying to figure out what to do. I'm no longer tired so I don't think I can go back to sleep. Should I go back to his apartment? I don't think that's a good idea … not yet. I'm just not ready to talk to him yet. It's too early to go to the office, so I decide to go to the training room for some much-needed target practice. I slide out of bed and bend to get my bathroom stuff and remember I took it to Tobias'. A curse slips from my lips, and Christina snorts and rolls over. I'm glad I didn't wake her up. I really don't feel like explaining why I'm in the dorm.

I head into the bathroom and pick up a washcloth. I "brush" my teeth then wash my face. I examine myself in the mirror as I tie my hair back into a ponytail. The Abnegation in me still doesn't feel comfortable looking at my reflection but the Dauntless in me is getting used to it. I look tired. I must not have slept as well as I thought I did. There are shadows beneath each eye, and I seem older, heavier somehow. The burden of the past 24 hours has taken its toll. I take two deep breaths then head to the training room.

It's earlier than I thought. When I get to the training room, the clock on the wall reads 3:42 a.m. "I should be in bed," I say out loud. I contemplate practicing on the punching bags because of the early hour. I wouldn't want to wake anyone up with gunfire but I'm feeling emotionally vulnerable right now and handling weapons always makes me feel stronger so I go to the cabinet and get out several throwing knives. I position my body the way Tobias taught me during initiation and throw knives at the target until every muscle in my right arm is throbbing. Then I reposition my body and teach myself how to throw with my left hand. First, I practice my stance and knife position without a weapon. Then I practice with the weapon but don't release it. It's just like the first day of knife throwing in initiation. Finally, I release the knife. It hits the target but bounces off. I continue practicing with my left hand until I notice it's almost 7:30 a.m. I've been here for hours, but I feel stronger both emotionally and physically. I needed this.

I decide to go back to Tobias' apartment and get ready for the day. I'm ready to face him now. When I walk into his apartment he's sitting on the couch with his head in his hands. He bounds off the couch toward me when he hears me come in. He has a panicked look on his face.

"Where have you been?" he asks. I put my hand out to stop his pursuit, and he backs up a step, confusion crossing his face.

"I'm going to take a shower and get ready for work," I say, last night's hurt and irritation returning. I laid a new outfit out last night before Tobias got home so I walk across the room and retrieve it from the dresser and head into the bathroom. I stay under the shower spray until the hot water turns ice cold. I slowly turn the water off, ignoring the teeth-chattering shivers. I wrap myself in a thick, fluffy towel and stand in front of the mirror to do my hair. Once again, I study my face while I put my hair into a simple French braid. The dark shadows are lighter and the heaviness seems to have lifted. Before I get dressed I apply some simple makeup Christina talked me into and helped me pick out last night: Dark charcoal gray eyeliner, black mascara, and a lightly tinted lip balm that brings out the natural color of my lips. I have to admit this natural-looking makeup enhances my looks. Then I get dressed in a new black lace lingerie set, tight fitting boot cut black linen trousers, short sleeved black button down linen shirt, and black faux crocodile print ankle boots. I immediately transform from a 16-year-old kid into a Dauntless leader in this outfit. I take one last look at myself in the mirror, ready myself for his questions, and turn off the light.

I walk into the living room and see Tobias has taken a seat back on the couch. He looks at me and his mouth falls open slightly. Slowly his eyes roam from the top of my head down to my feet and back up to my eyes. The look in his eyes gives me a now familiar sensation in the pit of my stomach, desire. I so badly want to cross the room, throw myself into his arms, and kiss him but we have a lot to talk about before I will allow myself to do that.

"Do you mind telling me where you were," he says, caution in his voice. I think he's angry with me.

"Before I answer your question, tell me what you remember about last night," I demand. He starts to open his mouth but quickly closes it. He looks down and furrows his eyebrows in concentration.

"Last night's pretty fuzzy. Did something happen?" he asks. I take a deep breath to steady my emotions. He obviously was too drunk to remember anything.

"You stumbled through the door so hard you made a dent in the wall," I say pointing to the dimple by the jamb. "You were trying to talk to me but I have absolutely _no_ idea what you were trying to say." The next part is hard to think about. Tears spring into my eyes. I try to will them away but it isn't helping. I take a deep breath. "I helped you into bed all the while you were trying to kiss me and touching me. I kept telling you no but you weren't listening very well." The tears spill. He looks like someone punched him in the gut. I watch as the color slowly drains from his face. He leans back against the couch looking ... defeated.

"Did I try to…" his voice trails off but I know what he is saying.

"No. You didn't. I wouldn't have let it get that far, Tobias, but we need to talk about your drinking. I don't like it. I should've been brave enough to say something yesterday when you mentioned going out with the guys. I knew it wasn't a good idea because of the state of mind you were in, and I was right." Once again confusion crosses his face.

"You think I have a drinking problem?" he asks a bit defensively.

"I didn't say that. I've seen you drunk twice now, and I didn't like it either time. You become a different person when you drink." He looks at me skeptically. "Do you really think I would have had to tell you no _twice_ and then leave to get you to stop touching me if you had been sober," I boldly say. "Absolutely not." He leans forward, places his elbows on his knees, and puts his face in his hands. Every bone in my body aches for me to comfort him but I need to get through to him I won't tolerate his drinking. He slowly raises his head and looks at me.

"After I left the apartment last night I wandered around and found myself at the chasm. I took the path to the bottom and watched the water until I was tired." I don't mention the crying spell. No need to torture him further. "I slept in the dorm last night. I got up early and went to the training room for some target practice. Then I came back here," I tell him. I now realize he was worried when I wasn't here when he got up and there was no note. He didn't remember me leaving. He gets up and slowly approaches me but I once again stop him by placing my hand out. I straighten myself up, look him in the eyes, and say, "I can't be with you if you insist on drinking Tobias. Chose now, me or alcohol because you can't have both." Fear ripples through me at this ultimatum. What if he decides he doesn't want to be with me anymore?

"I am so sorry for my actions last night. I had no idea," he takes a deep breath, "I scared you. I wish I could take it back but I can't. Can you forgive me?"

"It's going to take some time, Tobias. I won't lie and tell you everything is going to be okay."

"I promise you, Tris, no more drinking. I'll never do anything to jeopardize this relationship ever again. You have my word. I do wish you would have been honest with me about your feelings yesterday. I always want you to be honest even if you think it will make me mad."

"Actually, I didn't know if I had the right to ask you not to drink or not. From now on I promise to speak my mind even if I'm afraid of the results," I say. He takes the step necessary to close the space between us and looks down at me.

"I love you. I'm sorry." He slowly leans in to kiss me and I tense up. He leans back, hurt in his eyes.

"I'm sorry," I whisper. "You're going to have to give me some time, Tobias." He has a remorseful look on his face.

"Let's grab a quick breakfast before work," he says. I agree and we walk side-by-side to the cafeteria. Our table is already full when we get there. Our friends are huddled close together talking about yesterday's executions and the Dauntless Choosing Ceremony tonight. How in the world could I have forgotten about those things? I've been completely selfish and absorbed in my own problems instead of concentrating on what's important, Dauntless. Tobias, Tori, and I have a lot of things to finalize before tonight's ceremony.

"I still can't believe they executed them," Uriah is saying as we sit down.

"They deserved it," Zeke says with resentment in his voice. "They betrayed all of us. They betrayed the Dauntless way of life."

"Damn Erudite," Dante says taking a bite of muffin, "always causing trouble." I look at Will when he says this but he doesn't try to defend his old faction. I think it's a refreshing change of pace actually. Everyone's usually talking down about Abnegation and now it's Erudite that's the focus of negativity. It probably shouldn't but it makes me giddy.

"Did any of you go to the executions?" James asks. Everyone shakes their heads. I don't know of anyone who attended the executions.

"I'm just glad it's over. Maybe we can all move on," Ciara says. I hope it's over. Tobias and I share a quick look. I know he's thinking the same thing I am right now, this might not be over.

"Do you two have the list of available jobs yet?" Lynn asks, interrupting my thoughts. I don't know how to answer this question but I should have known Tobias would.

"We'll have it at lunch," he says in his Four voice. I wonder if he'll ever be Tobias with anyone but me.

"I can't wait to get into my apartment," Marlene says. Uriah, Lynn, Christina, and Will all agree with her. "The dorms are getting really old. I was actually thinking about staying with my parents if we had to wait much longer. Some of you know my parents, so you know how desperate I'm getting." Even though I don't know her parents I easily join in the laughter. I find myself fitting in more with our friends every day.


	12. Chapter 12

"We better get to work, Tris," Tobias quietly says to me after we finish our breakfast.

"I'm going to check on Daniel's condition then I'll meet you in your office," I say. We tell our friends goodbye and get up from the table. Tobias walks toward his office, and I head to the infirmary. I talk to Daniel's doctor, and he updates me on his condition. He hands me a progress note to add to our file, and he also gives me an updated list of Daniel's visitors. I'm surprised to see Samaire Towne's name on it. I need to show this to Tobias as soon as possible.

"Doctor, can you tell me what relationship Samaire Towne is to the victim?"

"She told the nurse that she's his girlfriend. Is that not accurate?" he says.

"Actually, I can't say if it's accurate information or not. Thanks for the progress note, doctor. All this information is very helpful." I quickly walk to Tobias' office to update him on this new information. When I get to his office I knock once and walk in. He's sitting behind his desk, and Tori is in one of the chairs straight across from him. They're talking about the job openings. I sit in the empty chair next to Tori.

"Hi, Tris. You're just in time to hear the job openings," Tori says. She flips a notebook open and starts reading from a list she compiled the day before. "We have one opening in the control room and two ambassadorships. There are two nursing internships available. They turn into full Dauntless positions after six months of training at the hospital in town. There are part time job openings in the tattoo parlor, boutique, clothing store, and salon. I thought maybe one person could fill all those openings for one full time job. There are two entertainment fighting positions available. Plus there's always guarding the fence."

"I want to talk about initiate training," Tobias says. Tori and I turn our attention to him. "Lauren approached me last night and told me she no longer wants to train initiates. That means one available position; however, I want to add two more instructors, one to the transfers' class and one to the Dauntless-born class. Our initiates are our future, and I think they deserve the best training we can give them."

"Do you still want to train the transfers, Four," I ask him.

"I do, and I would like you to be my partner, Tris," he says staring deeply into my eyes. He finally breaks our eye contact and looks at Tori. "Would you be interested in a training position?"

"Not really, Four," she says. "Training's not for me. I'm happiest in the tattoo parlor."

"Tris?" he looks my way, expectation on his face.

"Yes," I simply say, nodding my head. "So that means we have two Dauntless-born instructors to add to the job openings list." Tori jots that information down in her notebook.

"I'll type up the list and get a copy to each of the initiates at lunch," Tori says.

"Tris and I are going to work on the apartment assignments while you do that," Tobias says. Tori starts to get up when I interrupt.

"Tori, you'll want to stay for this," I say. She sits back down, and they look at me expectantly. "I went to the infirmary this morning to check on Daniel. The doctor is now confident he's going to make it. The swelling on his brain has gone down, and he's no longer concerned about brain damage. Although Daniel has not regained consciousness yet, the doctor believes he'll make a full recovery. He gave me these to add to our file." I stand and give Tobias the progress report and the list of additional visitors. "You'll recognize a name on his visitor's list, Samaire Towne." Tobias and Tori both stare at me. "I asked the doctor if he could tell me what her relationship to Daniel was. She apparently told the nurses she's his girlfriend. Could that be?"

"She witnessed his beating and never said she was his girlfriend when I questioned whether she knew the victim or the assailants," Tobias says. "This situation is getting stranger by the minute."

"Are there cameras in the infirmary?" I ask, my mind going to Tobias' meeting with Zeke last night. I haven't asked him about that yet.

"Not in the rooms but there are some in the hallways. I'll show you where they are the next time we're down there," he says. "I'll have Zeke go back through the past 24 hours of recordings and see if Samaire was with anyone else when she went to see Daniel."

"How did your meeting with Zeke go last night?" I softly ask. Tobias looks at me briefly with regret in his eyes.

"It went well. He got onboard with anything we need after I told him his mother was on the first list. I made the decision to tell him. I hope you two are okay with that." We both acknowledge we're fine with that. "We're going to set up a private office for him soon so he can monitor the cameras privately. The workers might be suspicious at first but this isn't the first time a private office for the control room supervisor has been offered. Max was constantly trying to get me into a private office but I declined because I didn't want to isolate myself from the others. Zeke doesn't care about that, I already asked him."

"Is there keystroke monitoring software on the control room computers?" I ask. Tobias and Tori both give me a strange look. I suddenly wonder if that was too much of an Erudite-like question. "What?"

"Yes, there is but I'm not sure if anyone has ever monitored it," Tobias says with a proud look on his face. "I'll look into that. I'm not sure why I didn't think of that. We'll be able to see if there's a spy in the control room. I'll make a note to check for the files."

"I'm going to go back to my office and get the job openings typed up so I can distribute them at lunch," Tori says.

"Don't forget I need a copy for our files. Maybe we can streamline the process and eliminate the paper files when we get a handle on everything that's going on around here," Tobias says. That sounds good to me. I'm tired of looking at paperwork already. It would be a lot easier to open a digital file.

Tori goes to her office leaving Tobias and me alone for the first time in hours. He takes out the apartment assignment book and comes to sit in the chair next to mine but before he sits down he hands me a tablet and pen from his desk. The silence is awkward between us for the first time. He opens the book and studies it for a moment.

"Have you had any apartment requests from any of the initiates?" he asks.

"No," I reply.

"We need nine apartments right?" he slowly raises his head and looks at me. "Or have you changed your mind and we need to assign 10 apartments."

"I haven't changed my mind," I say. I look at the clock and see that if we want to get this task done before lunch we need to concentrate but I decide I have time to reassure him of my feelings. "I love you, Tobias Eaton. That hasn't changed." He smiles at my admission and the tension eases.

"I love you, too," he says. "Okay, nine apartments then." We work for the rest of the hour assigning the initiates apartments and getting the welcome packets together. Each welcome packet comes with an identification card that doubles as a payment card, two apartment keys, and a cell phone.

"You have a cell phone?" I ask. I've never seen him with one before.

"I was given one in my welcome packet. I never used it and lost it somewhere," he says with a shrug of his shoulders. I take a cell phone from the box in front of me and toss it to him.

"I think you need one now that you're a leader. You can call me if there's ever another emergency," I say.

"That's a great idea," he says.

"Do you think we should check on Daniel again?"

"Yeah. I want to tell the doctor to contact me immediately when he wakes up." He looks at the cell phone and adds, "Maybe this thing will come in handy." Before we leave, we plug our cellphones into their chargers. We secure the welcome packets in an empty cabinet drawer, lock the door behind us, and leisurely walk to the infirmary.

"I didn't tell you how nice you look today, Tris," he says with a warm smile.

"Thanks," I say, blushing pink. "This is one of the outfits Christina helped me pick out last night. She made me buy practically a whole new wardrobe last night. I can't wait to get into our new place and put my clothes away. I kind of feel homeless at the moment."

"You can take your clothes there and put them away tonight. The furniture was delivered and set up this morning," he says. Excitement and apprehension rush through me. I can't wait to see our furniture in the apartment but last night's events have tainted what should be one of the happiest memories I ever have.

When we approach the infirmary doors, Tobias opens one for me. He motions to the light above the nurse's station with his eyes indicating placement of a hidden camera. I nod slightly to let him know I understand. The doctor informs Tobias that Daniel has woken up, and he leads us to his room.

"Please limit your visit to five minutes. He really needs his rest," the doctor tells us. I walk into the room and immediately stop in my tracks. Tobias runs into me and has to steady me with his hands. An electric jolt rushes to the pit of my stomach when he touches me.

Lying in bed is a badly battered blond-and-green-haired young man. His right eye is swollen shut, and his left is just a slit. There's a gash from the corner of his left eye up into his hair line that has been closed with multiple stitches. Both eyes are black, and there are purple and black bruises covering his face. He is bare-chested except for a wide bandage wrapped around his chest to help heal his broken ribs. The portion of his torso that isn't covered by a detailed black and red dragon tattoo or the bandage is covered with the same purple and black bruises covering his face. His left wrist is in a bright orange cast resting on a pillow.

"Daniel, I'm Four and this is Tris. We're two of your Dauntless leaders. I brought you to the infirmary yesterday morning," Tobias says to him sounding more like himself than Four. "Do you know who did this to you?" Daniel's jaw is wired shut to let it heal so the doctor gave him a tablet and pen to communicate with.

"I don't remember their faces. I've tried, but it's blank," he writes.

"Can you tell us what you do remember?" I ask.

"I was going to my job at the fence. I was running late and had just missed the train so I had to wait for the next one. Then I remember a sharp pain at the base of my skull. Everything after that is pretty fuzzy. I do remember kicks and punches but nothing else. I'm sorry." Our five minutes are almost up so we direct the conversation to Samaire.

"Do you know Shannon Williams, Samaire Towne, or Lex Mullen?" Tobias asks. "They witnessed the attack." Surprise visibly crosses Daniel's face.

"Samaire was there?" he writes. "Is she okay?" So he does know Samaire.

"What's your relationship with Samaire?" I ask.

"She's my girlfriend. IS SHE OKAY?" He's starting to panic.

"Yes, she's fine," I say, reassuring him. I don't tell him she told Tobias she didn't know him. She's going to have to explain herself to us. Just then the door opens, and the doctor tells us our five minutes are up. "Feel better, Daniel. If you remember _anything_ , tell the doctor, and he'll send for us." Tobias and I walk out into the hallway. Before leaving, Tobias and I both give the doctor our cellphone numbers and tell him the same thing we just told Daniel.

Once we get out of the infirmary I ask Tobias, "Why would Samaire say she didn't know Daniel if they've been dating? She had to know we would find out about them if not from Daniel but from friends or acquaintances."

"I'm going to call Samaire, Shannon, and Lex into my office this afternoon and get their written statements. We can talk to Samaire then. I think Shannon and Lex just happened to be walking by when the attack took place and had no part in it, but I don't know what to think about Samaire." We walk to lunch from the infirmary. When we enter the cafeteria there's an eerie silence. In front of the tables is a large circle of Dauntless members. They part when they notice Tobias and me to let us through. In the center Peter and Uriah are staring each other down.


	13. Chapter 13

"Would someone like to tell me what the hell is going on here?" Tobias says in the most intimidating voice I've ever heard. "If you two want to beat on each other, I will gladly drag you to the training room. I'll put you on the mat and let you go at each other." Uriah is scrappy and could probably take Peter but I remember the feel of his fist hitting my jaw. I wince a little. Peter definitely is strong.

"That isn't necessary, Four," Uriah says.

"What, are you scared?" Peter hisses, taking a step closer to Uriah. Immediately Tobias crosses the floor and has one hand against Uriah's chest and the other against Peter's.

"I suggest everyone get back to their lunches. _Now!_ " Tobias shouts. He wraps a fist in both Uriah and Peter's shirts to keep them planted while the crowd goes back to their tables to continue their lunches. Once it's just the four of us, he lets them go.

"I asked a question, and I expect an answer," he says fiercely. This Tobias scares me a little.

"It was just a misunderstanding," Peter says, a smirk on his face. I really wish someone would wipe that look off his face. I would like to do it.

"It was no misunderstanding. Stay away from Marlene. Do you hear me?" Uriah says, fire in his eyes, pointing his finger at Peter's chest. So this has to do with Marlene. I knew Uriah liked her.

"If she wants me to stay away from her, _she_ can tell me," he spits.

"Believe me, she will tell you, _psycho_." I've never seen this side of Uriah. He has always been so easy going and playful. I should have known he has an aggressive side too, he is Dauntless after all. I bravely step forward in between them positioning my body so I can easily look at both of them. Although I only want to talk to Uriah, I don't feel I should turn my back on Peter. If he decided to attack, I would be lying in the infirmary next to Daniel.

"Uriah," I say sternly. I wait until he moves his eyes to mine. "Go get some lunch." He starts to object but the look on my face stops him. I'm not in the mood to argue.

"Fine," he mutters. He stomps off to our table and slides in beside Marlene. She puts her arm through his and lays her head on his shoulder. That tells me Marlene likes Uriah just as much as he likes her.

"I suggest you steer clear of Uriah and Marlene," Tobias says to Peter but Peter is glaring at me. I don't back down and stare right back. Tobias growls and Peter finally looks his way. He steps forward and gets in Peter's face. "Don't forget I have the authority to make you factionless you worthless piece of…" His words trail off but his eyes are still blazing. Peter's eyes widen and he visibly swallows. I think he finally sees that Tobias is not one to mess with. I would have thought he learned that lesson when Tobias held the gun to his head.

I step forward and place my hand on Tobias' back. I apply light pressure, steering him away from Peter, and lead him to our table for lunch. Although the altercation broke up, the cafeteria is still quieter than usual. Tori comes in a few minutes later and starts handing out the job openings list. Quickly the conversation turns toward what jobs everyone wants.

"Seriously, the job in the salon, tattoo parlor, clothing store, and boutique is perfect for me!" Christina exclaims. She's right. She was born for that position. I can't imagine it going to anyone else but I don't know what Marlene and Lynn have in mind.

"The ambassadorship is definitely for me," Uriah says. "Maybe a Dauntless-born initiate training position, too."

"I've always wanted to be a nurse," Marlene says.

"I was pretty good at fighting during initiation, maybe I'll try the entertainment position," Lynn says. That's definitely a job I wouldn't want. Who would want to fight for a living?

"The ambassadorship or the control room sound good to me," Will says nonchalantly, joining the conversation. "I just really don't want to end up at the fence." All initiates at the table agree with him. No one really _wants_ to guard the fence.

After lunch is over Tobias, Tori, and I stop by the auditorium to see how the preparations for tonight's ceremony are coming. The maintenance people have done a really good job. The room basically looks the same as it did the night we made our announcement, except for the stage setup. The microphone has been moved stage left to make room for 10 black folding chairs with padded seats, one for each initiate including me, arranged in a semicircle. The folding chairs in front of the stage have been rearranged to allow for a center aisle. Long tables have been placed against one wall for refreshments, mainly Dauntless cake and coffee. Everything is in order so we return to our offices and continue to work on the secret files.

Tori and I split the names on the second list and take their files to our offices to go through. I note most of the names are Dauntless and Erudite born with a few Candor thrown in. I've noticed most transfers are from Candor, followed by Erudite and Amity. Of all the files I've looked at over the past few days, Tobias and I are the only Abnegation transfers I've noted. Once again, nothing in the files stand out to me as suspicious, except for every name on the first list there is a name on the second list that was in their initiate class and with the exception of me and Peter, every transfer was trained by Amar. Soon my door opens and Tobias walks in.

"I've interviewed Shannon and Lex and, like I figured, they were out for a spur-of-the-moment early morning jog and happened upon the assault. They both separately relayed it was their impression Samaire was there watching the attack but they couldn't be 100% sure of that." He looks troubled by this news. "I'll summon Samaire now if you're available."

"I want to finish typing this report, and I'll meet you in your office," I say. "I'm nearly finished looking over these files." He nods at me and goes into the hallway. I see him beckon Snake Tattoo – I really should make an effort to learn his name – and give him a note. He must be sending him to get Samaire. I momentarily wonder how they know where she is then I turn my attention back to the computer screen and finish my report. I gather the files and bring them with me to Tobias' office to put them away. I knock on his door and let myself in. He's sitting behind his desk leaning back in his office chair with his hands resting behind his head. He smiles a tired but friendly smile when he sees me walk in. I walk behind him and carefully put the files back in their appropriate places in the alphabetized records. I'm taking a seat opposite Tobias when there's a knock on the door.

"Come in," he says and a tall, beautiful woman walks into the room. She has dark chestnut brown hair with crimson highlights, flawless pale skin, and nearly black eyes set off by professional looking makeup. I momentarily wonder if she just came from the salon. She's wearing typical black Dauntless attire, and her right shoulder is adorned with a very lifelike tattoo of a Bengal tiger.

"Aw yes, Ms. Towne, please have a seat," Tobias politely says gesturing to the seat right next to mine. "Tris and I have called you in today to go over your statement about Daniel Parks' assault Monday morning."

"Of course. Anything I can do to help," she says, slowly looking between Tobias and me as she lowers herself into the chair.

"Please tell me what you were doing at the train tracks and what you witnessed during the attack," Tobias says as he pulls out the notes he jotted down after the attack Monday.

"Daniel left his jacket at my place. I thought it might rain so I was taking it to him. I knew he was running late so I was hoping to catch up to him before the train came. I saw him standing at the train platform. I was running to catch up to him when I saw two people dressed all in black start hitting and kicking him." Her voice starts to waver and a single tear slides down her cheek. She immediately wipes it away. No member of Dauntless ever wants to show what they interpret as weakness. "I don't exactly know what happened next because I froze. The next thing I really remember was you taking Daniel away," she says motioning toward Tobias with her hand. I've read her initial account and this is totally different.

"Samaire why did you tell me you didn't know Daniel when I questioned you after the incident?" Tobias firmly asks. Her eyes widen and her bottom lip starts to quiver.

"I-I told you I-I don't know D-Danny? That c-can't be right," she stutters. She puts her face in her hands and sobs. Tobias and I just look at each other, questions in our eyes. Could she be telling us the truth right now or is this just a big ruse? After she stops crying she looks up at me and then to Tobias. "I'm sorry. I have no idea why I told you I didn't know him. We met during initiation, and we've been dating for more than three years. I was in shock during the attack and maybe I misunderstood you. I'm sorry."

"Are you absolutely sure you don't know who did this?" Tobias asks.

"I don't know who attacked him. I was too far away, frozen in fear. If it weren't for those two who ran up, I'm afraid those men would have killed him." By the time she finishes her sentence she is barely audible, tears in her eyes once again.

I lean up and pick up a legal pad off the corner of Tobias' desk and take a pen out of his pencil holder. I give them to Samaire and ask her to write down every detail of that morning she can remember, no matter how small or unimportant she thinks it is – every person she passed on her way to the train, any unusual comments she heard, any unusual site she saw, why Daniel was running late. We need as much detail as we can get from her.

She takes the pad and pen from me and writes her account of that morning. She is very detailed until she gets to the attack then she writes she can't remember what happened, it was all a blur. I take the pad from her, and Tobias and I thank her and let her go. I quickly read over her account and it repeats everything I know except why Daniel was running late; he was talking to someone in the hallway but she didn't recognize the voice. When she noticed his jacket she opened the door to give it to him but he had already left. She had to get dressed to take the jacket to him. Everything she said fits with the timeline. I hand the pad to Tobias and let him read it.

When he looks up I say, "What do you think? Do you believe her?"

"I honestly don't know what to think. If that was an act, she has me believing," he says.

"I'm not sure if I should, but I believe her. I just can't figure out what her name represents on that list."

"I think we should get Daniel's statement tomorrow and compare the four to see if there are any inconsistencies, especially between Samaire and Daniel's." He looks toward the clock on the wall. "We'll have to cut supper short and come back here to pick up the welcome packets for the ceremony. I don't trust leaving them unattended in the auditorium."


	14. Chapter 14

We head to the cafeteria and take our place at our usual table. I grab roasted chicken, a baked sweet potato, mixed vegetables, and some applesauce tonight. I'll have cake at the choosing ceremony later. Soon our friends join us, and all conversation is on tonight's festivities. Excitement and anticipation is thick in the air. Uriah, Christina, Will, Marlene, and Lynn can't wait to get into their apartments, and I don't blame them. I can't wait to get into mine either.

Tobias excuses himself at about 6:30 p.m. in order to retrieve the welcome packets from his office and make it to the auditorium by 7 p.m. for the ceremony. He tells me to stay with our friends, and I walk to the auditorium with them. Before I enter I see Tobias coming my way and wait for him. He stops and tells me I'm just an initiate tonight, and I should have fun. When we enter the room, I share the eagerness of the other initiates.

Tobias and Tori make their way to the stage and stand off to the side, behind the microphone. The 10 of us walk in order of our rankings up the center isle to the stomping of feet, raising of voices, and pumping of fists we've all come to recognize as signs of Dauntless celebration. A huge smile crosses my face that won't be leaving tonight. I stand in front of my seat, Uriah stands next to me, and the remaining initiates fall in line beside us. The cheering lasts until Tobias approaches the microphone then everyone starts to settle down.

"I would like to welcome everyone to this year's Dauntless Choosing Ceremony," he says. "This year we had a remarkable group of initiates and only the best and brightest of those remain. Tonight our initiates will chose their jobs, receive their welcome packets, and become full-fledged members of Dauntless." The crowd once again explodes in celebration. He lets them calm down naturally without any prompting from him. He is enjoying the atmosphere as much as I am.

"Our first ranking initiate this year is no stranger to you. She's our third Dauntless leader, Tris," Tobias says. At the sound of my name I walk to Tobias and Tori. Tobias greets me with love in his eyes, shakes my hand, and then hands me my welcome packet. "You are in apartment 13. Would you please tell the crowd what jobs you picked?"

As a formality I say, "I choose to be your Dauntless leader, and I also choose to train transfers during initiation." I shake Tori's hand then walk back to my seat as the crowd roars and sit down.

"Our second ranking initiate this year is Uriah," Tori says. He walks over and shakes hands with Tori and receives his welcome packet. "You are in apartment 62. Would you please tell the crowd what job you picked?"

"I choose to be a Faction Ambassador, and I also choose to train Dauntless-born during initiation." He shakes Tobias' hand then walks back and sits next to me. The rest of the initiates receive their welcome packets and apartment assignments then choose their jobs the same way. Christina got her wish of working in the tattoo parlor, boutique, clothing store, and salon, and she joins Uriah training the Dauntless-born. I pulled some strings and got her assigned to an apartment just a few floors below Tobias and me. Will chose the control room job, which he's absolutely perfect for, and we put him a floor below Christina so they can be near one another. Marlene chose to be a nurse and Lynn chose fighting for entertainment just like they wanted. Their apartments are close to Uriah's. The three Dauntless born whose names I never learned and quickly forgot after hearing them all chose to guard the fence. The only shock of the night was Peter. I really thought he was going to choose the control room but he chose to be a Faction Ambassador, which means he not only will be working closely with Uriah but with Tori, Tobias, and myself. I wonder briefly if this was a calculated move but shake off the negativity. Tonight is meant for celebration. After the final initiate returns to his seat, cake and coffee are served. I walk over to Christina and pull her into a hug. She hugs me back tightly.

"Congratulations, Christina," I say after I let her go. "I'm glad you got the job you wanted. I know you'll be great. Dauntless won't know what hit them."

"Thanks, Tris. Congratulations to you, too," she says. "I didn't know you were going to train transfers."

"Yeah, Four asked me the day we decided to add a second trainer to each group. I never thought to mention it with everything that's been going on." I look at Will who has been lingering behind us. "I'm so glad you got the control room job. I told Christina you'd be perfect for it and wished we could just assign it to you."

"Thanks, Tris," he says, beaming at me. "I tried not to get my hopes up but I really wanted that job. I was afraid Peter was going to take it."

"I had the same thought. I'm glad he didn't, though I'm having a hard time believing he's going to be a good fit in the ambassadorship." Worry nags me but I push it away.

"Too bad he didn't decide to watch the fence then none of us would have ever had to see him again," Christina says with malice in her voice. Will laughs, and I join right in.

"What's so funny?" Uriah says shoveling chocolate cake into his mouth. He has frosting trailing from his mouth down to his chin. Behind him stand Zeke, Shauna, Marlene, and Lynn.

"Right now, you!" I say. "You have frosting on your face, Uriah." He wipes the back of his hand across his mouth.

"Seriously, Uri," Marlene says, handing him a napkin. He takes it and wipes his face again. "Is that your second piece of cake already?" He just laughs and kisses her on the mouth.

"You know how much I love my Dauntless cake," he says, rolling his eyes at her. I think everyone in Dauntless knows how much Uriah loves cake. "Hey, when I get into my apartment I'm going to throw a party the likes Dauntless has never seen before. It has been entirely too long since we've had a rowdy game of Candor or Dauntless." Candor or Dauntless? Will, Christina, and I exchange a look.

"Okay, I'll bite. What's Candor or Dauntless?" I say. Uriah, Marlene, Lynn, Zeke, and Shauna burst out laughing. It's definitely a Dauntless thing.

"It's like truth or dare but with a twist. If you won't tell the truth or do the dare you have to take an article of clothing off," Zeke explains. "There are some other rules but we'll explain them to you fully the first time we play. It's a Dauntless tradition. Sometimes we just play Dare too. That's how I got this scar." He points at a red, raised jagged scar on his forearm. "Some guy dared me to jump from the second story window of an abandoned building. I got 23 stitches," he says proudly.

"Strip truth or dare? _Seriously_?" I squeak then blush bright red. Everyone laughs at me.

"Seriously, _Stiff!_ You're Dauntless now," Lynn says. "You're going to have to loosen up."

"Not to cut this party short but I want to see my apartment," Marlene says. "I've been waiting 16 years for this." Her excitement is contagious, and we all agree we want to see our apartments.

"Hey, Christina," I say when she turns to go, "don't forget my office after lunch tomorrow. We'll finalize the party plans."

"I won't forget. Hey Marlene, Lynn, Shauna?" Christina shouts. She then motions for them to come back. "Why don't we all get ready for the party at my place Saturday? We can make an afternoon of it. I'll invite Ciara, Ella, and Kirsten, too."

"Afternoon?" Lynn says raising one eyebrow. "It doesn't take _hours_ to get ready for a party."

"You've never been treated to the 'Christina Experience'," she says with a pouty face. "There's more to getting ready for a party than throwing a dress on." Lynn sighs and I can't help but agree with her but we all settle on the Christina Experience.

I grab a slice of cake and a cup of coffee then look for Tobias. He's been noticeably absent while I've been talking to our friends. After dodging several people's congratulations I see him standing in the shadows by the stage. I walk over to him.

"There you are," I say to him. "I've been looking for you."

"I thought I'd give you some time with your friends," he says.

"They're our friends," I tell him. "I'm ready to see the apartment but I'd like to stop by your place and pick up my clothes so I can put them away." Excitement is evident in my voice.

"That isn't necessary," he says with a smile. "I had the movers take your bags and put them in your room."

"Thank you, Tobias," I say in a whisper after making sure no one can overhear, and he smiles down at me lovingly.

"Shall we?" he asks, moving away from the wall. He carefully places his hand on the small of my back and leads me out of the auditorium. We don't make it 50 feet onto the Pit floor before we see Uriah and Peter. By the looks on their faces an altercation is brewing and sure enough Uriah rears back and punches Peter in the face. Tobias takes off running but before he can stop the fight, Peter has tackled Uriah to the ground and is hammering punches into his side. When Tobias reaches them, he literally picks Peter up by the collar of his shirt and throws him a good 10 feet then he drags Uriah to his feet by the neck. He marches Uriah over to Peter and takes ahold of Peter by the neck also.

"That's it. I've had it with you two," Tobias says in a very low, menacing growl. "I don't even want to know what's going on here. How would you two like to guard the fence for the rest of your lives?" Uriah and Peter are shooting daggers at each other not appearing to hear Tobias at all. "Better yet, how would you both like to be factionless?" That sinks in. They both look at Tobias, Uriah's mouth practically on the floor.

"You wouldn't," Uriah says.

"Try me," he says. "You both just chose to represent our faction as ambassadors. Do you think I'm going to allow anyone in such an important position to act like two year olds? You are not initiates anymore, infractions go in your permanent files. Enough infractions can result in expulsion from Dauntless. Uriah go stand over there. I'll talk to you in a minute." Uriah slowly follows Tobias' instructions and sulks by the wall, looking defiant but he knows Tobias well enough not to test him. "Peter, I told you to leave Marlene and Uriah alone. You may not know this but I watched you closely during initiation, and if it had been up to me, you would have been out on your ass after the Edward stunt. I will _not_ tolerate your reckless ways here, do you understand." Peter glares are Tobias for a long moment before nodding his head. "I can't hear you."

"Yes, Four," he says.

"Fine, get out of here but remember, if I see you near Marlene or Uriah, unless it is work related, you will find yourself in a world of hurt." Peter stalks off in the direction of the apartments and Tobias moves to talk to Uriah. "What were you thinking, Uriah?"

"I was thinking he's an asshole and needs to be taught some manners," he says defiantly. Tobias closes his eyes and inhales deeply. He opens his eyes and looks at his best friends little brother.

"Like I said, I don't care what's going on between you two. You need to ignore it or work it out like adults. I _will_ follow through on putting you on the fence if I ever see you hit someone like I saw you do tonight. That kind of behavior will not be tolerated here anymore, Uriah. Do you understand?" Tobias says.

"I understand, Four," he says.

"I don't want to see you near Peter unless it's work related. I gave him the same warning about you and Marlene. Now get to your apartment." Tobias looks toward me and just shakes his head. "Ready, Tris?"

"Yes," I say. "I wonder what that was about."

"Probably Marlene but, honestly, I don't care as long as they don't fight again." He puts his hand on the small of my back as we walk to our apartment, anticipation and anxiety warring for the dominant emotion. When we reach the door, Tobias looks down at me.

"Would you like to do the honors?" he says. I release the welcome packet from my iron grip and take the single key out of the envelope.

"I thought there were supposed to be two keys," I say looking up at him, surprise on my face.

"I have the other one," he says in my ear, sending a shiver through me. My hand is visibly shaking as I take the key and try to put in the lock. I think anxiety is winning the war. I take a deep breath and steady my hand. I slip the key into the doorknob and turn it. The door opens and immediately exhilaration replaces every other emotion. Tears start to swim in my eyes. I walk into the apartment and Tobias follows closely. I hear him close and lock the door behind us. The eight barstools match the color of the cabinets and island perfectly. Now we have a place to sit for meals and don't have to go to the cafeteria all the time.

The furniture is the right scale for the space. The movers not only brought the bags of my clothes but the couch from the other apartment and set it up. It's opposite the entertainment center. To the left of the couch is the matching loveseat. To the right, at a slight angle, sits the oversized club chair with matching ottoman. On the wall to the left of the door is the bookshelf that already holds the few books he had in his apartment. On the floor is the black, white, and blue area rug I was sure had the same geometric design as the kitchen backsplash and it does. Beside the couch are two wrought iron end tables with blue glass-based lamps with black linen barrel shades I don't remember picking out.

"Are these new?" I say running my hand across the nearest table.

"Yes. I realized we didn't have any side tables so I picked some that match the entertainment center and bookshelf. The lady at the furniture store helped me pick out the lamps based on our color scheme." The lamps perfectly complement the colors and design of the room. I look at the entertainment center and realize he's right. The table design is identical. On the entertainment center sits his TV and DVD player and all the movies from his apartment. There are a few new components I don't recognize. I walk over to the shelving to get a better look. They're stereo components. The orange cast of the setting sun is shining through the wall of windows when suddenly the windows turn black. I can still see outside but instead of orange it looks dark gray.

"We have automatic windows. They sense the setting sun and turn black so no one can see in at night," he says noticing my gaze. That _is_ smart. I hadn't even thought about window coverings because I was so excited to be able to see outside again. Now there isn't any need to block that breath-taking view.

I slowly walk to the stairs still taking in the look of our living room and kitchen. I climb the stairs with him trailing behind me. I skip the other doors and go straight to my bedroom. I open the door, and the view behind it stops me in my tracks. I thought the bedroom set was beautiful in the store but, now, here in front of me, it's exquisite. Directly in front of me is the king sized bed flanked by the matching side tables. On the left wall, in between the his-and-hers closets, sits the standalone mirror, and on the right wall is the huge matching dresser. Everything is absolutely perfect. I turn and run into Tobias' arms, lean up on my tiptoes, wrap my arms around his neck, and press my lips to his. He wraps his arms around my waist and lifts me off my feet. After a few minutes of fevered kissing, last night comes back to me, and I stiffen in his arms. He pulls his mouth away from mine and looks into my wide eyes. As the passion in his eyes fades it's replaced by pain, and he sits me on my feet.

"I'm sorry," I whisper to him. It kills me that I'm the one hurting him, but I feel like all the progress we've made since I learned he was in my fear landscape has been erased. After a few minutes I ask, "Did they bring everything from your apartment today?"

"Yeah. My bedroom set is in my room along with my clothes. They put your bags, backpack, and garment bag in your closet. What little kitchen things I had they put away for us. We can rearrange them however we like. The desk is setup in the other room and, of course, the couch is downstairs."

"You didn't look in the garment bag did you," I ask, suddenly worried. "That's my dress for Saturday night, and I want it to be a surprise."

"No, I didn't look in any of your bags," he says with a small smile on his face.

"I would like to put my clothes away. How about I meet you downstairs in a little while."

"Okay," he says. He starts to walk out of my room then stops. He turns slowly around and cautiously walks over to me. My heart is beating like a big bass drum in my chest. He leans over and kisses the top of my head. When he straightens up I reach out and take his hand. I very slowly stand on my tiptoes and pull his mouth to mine with my other hand and give him a quick closed mouth kiss. After I pull away, I look up into his eyes.

"I love you, Tobias Eaton. Don't forget that. Please bear with me, I don't want to lose you," I say as a tear escapes and slides down my cheek. I can tell he's fighting pulling me into his arms. He instead cradles my cheek with his hand and wipes the tear away with his thumb.

"This is my fault. I did this to us. You won't lose me," he says, emotion thick in his voice. "I love you, too." He leans down and places his lips to mine for a moment then quickly walks out of the room. I cross to the door, close it behind him, and then slide down to the floor, emotion taking over. I sob into my hands, trying to be as quiet as I can. I know if he hears this, it'll kill him.


	15. Chapter 15

These past few days have been long and uneventful. The morning after the Choosing Ceremony, Tobias and I visited Daniel and got his written account of the attack. It virtually said the same thing the other three statements did. He was stopped momentarily in the hallway by a neighbor asking how he was doing. We looked into the neighbor but he didn't raise any red flags but we added his name to the file nonetheless.

There are no new leads. We had Zeke go back through the security camera footage from that morning but nothing out of the ordinary was observed. It was almost like the assailants knew where the cameras were, which is strange. Only a handful of people in Dauntless know there _are_ cameras. It's a well-kept secret. This gave us some concern so we pulled all the personnel files of the control room workers, including Zeke's, just to be thorough but nothing stood out as suspicious.

After Tobias finished looking at the hidden files on Max's hard drive, he moved into my office to see if there were any hidden files on Eric's computer, then he made his way through the other Dauntless leaders' computers but he didn't find anything new. Tori and I finished looking through the personnel files of every name on both lists and the additional names mentioned in those files. Unfortunately, the effort didn't produce any answers as to why Eric assembled the lists in the first place. We gave Zeke documentation on each person on the lists. He immediately identified and started surveillance on each one. He also created a program that automatically downloads all recorded information into a specified file only he and Tobias have access to. They plan to get together once a week and go through the recordings.

On Wednesday after lunch, Christina and I finished planning the Dauntless party. After listening to her beg off-and-on for over an hour, I promised to let her handle all the decorations in the auditorium. We finalized the menu, which will be served in a special candle lit supper in the cafeteria at 7 p.m. We're having a choice of roast beef with brown gravy or baked chicken in a creamy lemon sauce; twice baked potatoes with butter, sour cream, cheese, and chives; seasoned green beans with bacon; fresh fruit and cheese trays; and soft yeast rolls with homemade honey butter from Amity. Of course everything will be topped off with Dauntless cake, which will be available in chocolate with chocolate icing, vanilla with butter cream icing, and strawberry with a strawberry glaze. A variety of beverages will be available both in the cafeteria and the auditorium for everyone's convenience.

Although Tobias and I have been spending all of our free time together, things are still not back to normal. We've barely touched since the night of the Choosing Ceremony. The fear that resurfaced after he came home drunk is gone but part of me is still holding back, and I'm not sure why but I'm trying really hard to let the apprehension go. I know I should have talked to Christina about it when I had the chance but I let the fear win. I didn't want her to know Tobias and I were already having problems.

I look at the clock on the wall and notice it's almost lunch time. I'm supposed to meet Marlene, Lynn, and Shauna at Christina's apartment in a little over an hour to start getting ready for tonight. Ciara, Ella, and Kirsten turned down our invitation and are getting ready at Kirsten and Dante's place. Christina won't even let me check on the progress in the auditorium. With all of Dauntless buzzing about the party tonight and Tobias shut up in Zeke's office watching the surveillance recordings, I've been a bit bored.

An idea hits me. I look at the clock again and wonder if there's time. Thinking there is, I get up and lock my office behind me. Thankfully I'm wearing black yoga pants, a basic black tank top, and black running shoes. I wouldn't want to go through a simulation in heels.

I go to the fear landscape room and enter the information like Tobias showed me earlier this week. Then I insert the needle into my neck and wait for the simulation to start. Soon I'm standing in the familiar grassy field. I look off in the distance at what looks like smoke rising to meet the dreary sky but soon the black cloud is moving toward me. _Damn crows_. My heart starts hammering in my chest. I kneel down and start searching for the gun in the tall grass. When I feel the familiar cool steel touch my palm, I grab the weapon and take aim. Crows start falling out of the sky one by one.

The gun is suddenly gone, and I'm in the glass box with my friends and Tobias gathered around. Simulation Tobias walks over and tells me to look, and the water is already covering my feet. I take deep breathes trying to calm myself then think, "The glass is ice, the glass is ice, the glass is ice," and press my hands and feet against the glass wall as hard as I can. The glass breaks. Everything goes dark.

Suddenly I find myself in the ocean being tossed around like a ragdoll as wave after wave knocks into me. I'm half on a huge rock but I can't get a good grasp on it to pull myself out of the water completely. I know I have to get up on that rock so I lunge myself further up it but still don't get a good grasp and slide back down into the water. A scream of frustration leaves my lips as I thrust myself forward once again. This time I find a small crack with my fingers. I hold on with all my might as another wave hits me then I pull myself up onto the rock, out of the water, and start running.

Suddenly I can't move. I look around, trying to adjust my eyes to the bright light, and see I'm tied to a stake with logs piled beneath my feet. Peter and many faceless people are in front of me. _What is it with faceless people?_ Peter has a sadistic smile on his face. He saunters over to me and slowly lowers the torch to the wood under my feet. My heart takes off. I struggle with my bindings to no avail. I'm still tied in a fire. I look down at my feet and see the flames climb closer to my flesh. Finally, I feel the pain of fire on my feet and I scream.

"Do you smell that, _Stiff_?" Peter says. "That is the smell of burning flesh." I take two deep breathes to steady my racing mind.

"No, I smell rain," I say as a drop hits me on my forehead and slides down my face. Then the sky opens up and rain pours down and douses the flames.

Once again I'm standing in the dark. Soon my eyes adjust, and I see I'm in my bedroom at Abnegation. Of all the fears, I really had hoped this one had went away. I close my eyes and take two deep breathes. When I open them I see the man from the aptitude test and the faceless men at my window. I slowly back up until I run into the closet doors with my back. I slide them open and feel around for the gun. When the feel of cold steel registers, I wrap my fingers around it and fire at the men hitting them each in the forehead. The room goes dark. That was a lot quicker than the first time.

My heart rate begins to slow as I'm standing in darkness. When I feel the barrel of the gun touch my left temple and the feel of cold steel in my right hand, my heart rate picks up double time. I don't want to kill my family. Jeanine Matthews' voice is in my ear telling me to kill him or be killed but I don't see anyone. Suddenly a spotlight rains down on Tobias who is tied to a chair. A scream leaves my lips before I think of what I'm doing. I can't kill him, I love him. I love him more than I've ever loved anyone in my entire life. Shooting him will kill me too. _No, he has to live._

"I love you, Tobias Eaton," I say as I turn the gun in my hand on myself and pull the trigger. Suddenly I'm standing in the fear landscape room looking at the Dauntless painting on the back wall. As my heart rate returns to normal, I realize that even though he's still in my fear landscape it's under totally different circumstances. I'm no longer scared to be with him and a weight lifts. I think I've been holding on to the idea I'm scared instead of actually being afraid. I know I'm still not ready to have sex but I'm ready to get my relationship with Tobias back on track and, suddenly, I'm giddy about tonight. I'm walking to the cafeteria when I notice Tobias and Zeke come out of a dark hallway in front of me.

"Hey," I call out. They turn and his eyes light up when he sees me then dim slightly. Pain spasms through my heart. I have a lot of work to do to make this relationship right. "Are you two headed down for lunch?"

"We're going to grab a plate and work through lunch," he says.

"I'll walk with you," I say to them. I casually take Tobias' hand in my own, and he looks down at me with furrowed eyebrows. I lightly squeeze his hand and smile up at him.

"Where are you coming from?" Zeke asks conversationally.

"The fear landscape room," I say. Tobias stops so abruptly it jerks me backward. I look at him and ask, "What?"

"Zeke, I'll meet you back in your office," Tobias says to his friend. Zeke gives him a strange look then shrugs.

"I'll see you tonight, Zeke," I say. After he leaves, I turn to Tobias. "Is something wrong?"

"Why did you go through your fear landscape?" he asks.

"I wanted to see something," I say cautiously. I wanted to tell him about this tonight.

"Am I still in your fear landscape?" he asks quietly.

"Yes," I say matter-of-factly. He lets my hand go and takes a step backward. "But not in the way you think," I amend.

"What do you mean?" he asks.

"Jeanine doesn't want me to shoot my family anymore; she wants me to shoot you. Of course I couldn't do it. I could never hurt you that way, not even in a simulation." I take his hand and pull him into a dark hallway. "I came to some conclusions this afternoon thanks to the sims, some positive ones. I want to talk about this with you but I don't think a hallway in the middle of the Dauntless compound is the right place. You go get some lunch and finish your work. Get dressed for the party then meet me outside the cafeteria a little before 7 o'clock." I take a step closer to him and look up into his dark blue eyes. "I promise, everything's alright now." I reach up and pull his mouth to mine and kiss him with all the pent up fear, desire, regret, and anticipation that has been developing. He is careful at first but then the flood gates break and all the suffering, anxiety, passion, and lust that has been building the past week rushes out. I can't imagine being more in love with him than I am right now in this moment. We finally break apart when we hear snickers coming from the path that leads down to the Pit. He takes my face in his hands, gently presses his lips to mine, and tenderly kisses me again. When he pulls back a single tear slides down his cheek.

"I was afraid I'd lost you forever."

"That will _never_ happen," I say, wiping away the tear. "I'm far too selfish to ever let you go." I hug him close to me, breathing in his masculine scent. After a long minute, I say, "We better go." I release him and take his hand in mine and lead him to the cafeteria. We have a newfound ease between us that I can't wait to explore further. He grabs a plate to take back to Zeke's office then escorts me back to our table. Before he leaves he sits down beside me straddling the bench. He pulls me close and whispers he loves me in my ear, making me grin goofily. Then he pulls back slightly and moves his mouth to mine. Not that long ago a public display like this would have made me uncomfortable but not anymore. I don't care who sees me kissing Tobias. I want everyone to know he's mine. He pulls away too soon and a pout crosses my lips.

"I love you, Tris," he says so everyone can hear.

"Love you more, Four." It actually comes out sounding like a question. I didn't think of how the rhyming would sound, and we both burst out laughing. It feels good to laugh with him. I notice everyone at the table is looking at us like we're crazy. "7 o'clock. I'll be waiting," I say running my hand up the thigh that's hidden under the table. His eyes widen, and he reluctantly moves away from the table.

"7 o'clock," he says over his shoulder at me while he walks away.


	16. Chapter 16

After lunch is done I go to my apartment to retrieve everything I need for tonight. I climb the stairs two at a time, suddenly anxious to get the afternoon started. I walk into my bedroom and go to the closet. I take down the red garment bag holding my dress and turn to lay it across the bed when I notice a rectangle-shaped black velvet box sitting in the middle of my pillow. I turn back to the closet and hang the dress up. I go to the bed and pick up the note lying on top of the box, unfold it, and read the words.

VI

Welcome to Dauntless

Love,

IV

I slowly open the box and inhale sharply. Laying on the black silk interior of the velvet box is a beautiful platinum necklace with a teardrop shaped diamond pendent and matching earrings. Below the earrings is a simple platinum bracelet with two charms on it, a Dauntless seal and an Abnegation seal. Tears slide down my face. I've never received a gift before. I close the lid and go back to the closet to retrieve my backpack from the top shelf. I put the shoes I'm wearing tonight and the box of jewelry in the bag. I finally go to my dresser and get the lingerie set Christina told me to wear and put it in the backpack. I once again retrieve the dress from the closet and drape it over my arm and head to Christina's.

I knock on the door and am immediately swept into an afternoon of buffing, polishing, waxing, which I never want to do again, masks, lotions, makeup, hairspray, and various tortures Christina seems ecstatic to dole out. While I'm waiting for the 20 minutes to be over so Christina can remove the cucumber mask from my face, I tell the girls about the jewelry Tobias got for me.

"Well are you going to show it to us?" Marlene asks. I get up and retrieve the box from my bag. I open it for them, and their reactions mirror mine.

"Do you want to wear the earrings tonight?" Christina asks.

"I don't have my ears pierced," I tell her. She goes to her small pub table and opens a box and retrieves a tool that looks a lot like a gun. "What's that?"

"It's to pierce your ears." She smiles brightly at me. Realization dawns on me, Christina knew about the earrings.

"He told you about the earrings," I accuse.

"Guilty," she bashfully says. "Now sit down, and I'll pierce your ears so you can wear those exquisite rocks tonight." Anxiety moves through my body not knowing what to expect. I stiffly sit on one of her dining chairs. "Relax, Tris." I try but never quite make it.

She takes out a little kit with various items I don't recognize in it and sets it on the table right next to me. First she pours some solution into a little dish. She puts on disposable gloves then takes my earrings, which are actually two parts – studs and pendants, and puts the studs in the little dish of solution. She wipes both of my ears with alcohol swabs to sterilize the area. Next she looks at my ears and marks spots on the fleshy part of the lobe making sure they're symmetrical. She takes one of the earrings and loads it into the gun, positions it on the mark, and pulls the trigger. There's a loud bang beside my ear and a quick pinch. She takes the other earring and repeats the steps, piercing my other ear. After she's done, she twists the studs and makes sure they aren't too tight. Then she takes a cotton ball, soaks it with the same solution she soaked my earrings in, and dabs the cotton at the front and back of both my ears. Then she gives me some ibuprofen for the pain and to avoid any inflammation.

"Now that wasn't bad," she says, pride in her voice.

"I've had worse," I laugh. I get up and go to her bathroom to look at the earrings. They're beautiful. "Thank you, Christina," I say as I hug her. She throws me a warm wet washcloth and tells me it's time to remove the mask.

After I rinse my face, she puts hot rollers in my hair, which is a new experience for me, and I lounge around in nothing but a black silk robe from the salon. It's lucky they love her at her job. We won't ever want for beauty supplies. I'm on the verge of falling asleep when Christina makes an announcement.

"I think tonight's the night," she says while running a brush through Marlene's hair.

"The night for what?" I innocently ask. The others laugh at me, and I instantly understand and turn various shades of red.

"It's the perfect night for our first time," she says. "We'll be all dressed up, and there's a romantic dinner and a party. It's the perfect night," she repeats with a dreamy sigh. "He's been waiting so patiently." Lynn is studying my face while Christina talks.

"You and Four haven't had sex yet? What are you waiting for, Stiff? You _live_ with him," she says. I'm at a loss for words. I know talking about sex is something girlfriends do but the way I was raised you just don't do that. I'm becoming more Dauntless by the day but there will always be a terrible amount of Abnegation in me.

"He's in her fear landscape," Christina says. "Leave her alone. They'll do it when she's ready."

"Christina!" I snap. That's not something I wanted everyone to know about.

"Sorry," she says. She's done with Marlene's fancy braided updo and drags me to the chair.

"It's alright. He _is_ in my fear landscape but it's changed." With that admission all eyes are on me. "Four and I had a fight earlier this week," I finally admit.

"The night he came home drunk?" Shauna asks. "I told Zeke he was being an idiot getting all sloshed like that. I kicked him out of bed and haven't let him back in. What did Four do?"

"He got a bit handsy. I slept in the dorm that night." I figure I might as well come totally clean, and honestly, it feels good to not be burdened by it anymore.

"I haven't seen you in the dorm since initiation," Christina says as she unwinds roller after roller from my hair.

"I came in late and left early," I say. "Things have been very tense between us all week."

"You two looked fine at lunch," Marlene says with a laugh. "We all thought you might have sex on the table the way you were all over each other." Another blush overtakes me.

"I went through my fear landscape today, five of my seven fears were exactly the same."

" _Seven_ fears?" Lynn screams. "You only have seven fears?"

"Well six now actually," I say and her mouth hangs open. "The fear in my initial landscape of intimacy is gone but now instead of having to shoot my family, I have to shoot him. Of course I couldn't pull the trigger on my family so there's absolutely no way I could ever do that to him, so I kill myself instead to end the simulation."

"That's pretty heavy," Shauna says. "I thought my fear of killer clowns was bad." Killer clowns?

"It made me realize I was hanging on to a fear I no longer have and keeping him at arm's length. I not only was hurting him, I was hurting myself. Although I'm still not ready for sex, I knew I had to stop pushing him away, or I was going to lose him," I say. Christina meets my eyes in the mirror and her eyes light up.

"Is that why they call him Four?" she says. "I remember Lauren saying the lowest number of fears ever was four." Well she figured it out on her own so the least I can do is confirm it.

"Yes. That's why they call him Four," I say smiling. "His training instructor gave him the nickname and it stuck."

"What's his real name?" Lynn asks.

"Nope," I say shaking my head. "That isn't my secret to share. Maybe one day he'll tell everyone, but until he does, my lips are sealed." Lynn grumbles something at me about no fun.

Christina takes the final roller out of my hair and lightly runs her fingers through the curls to loosen them. I've never seen my perfectly straight hair with as much as a wave in it and now it's full of curls. She tugs and twists sections of hair securing them with bands and pins until my hair is swept up in a curly updo being held in place with faux-diamond crystal bobby pins.

I go into the bathroom and massage the lotion Christina gives me into my body. Once I'm sure it's totally dry I put on the strapless black lacy pushup bra Christina insisted I buy to go with the dress and matching boy shorts. I look at myself momentarily in the mirror. It's amazing what a few months have done to my body. I quickly put the robe back on and go sit on the couch to watch as Christina does Shauna and Lynn's hair.

The rest of the afternoon moves at a dizzying pace, and I now understand why we needed so much time with how many girls there are here. All of our hair and makeup is done, and we're dressed in the fanciest dresses I've ever seen. I'm standing in front of the full length mirror Christina borrowed from the boutique, especially for today, and I don't recognize myself. I thought my new work clothes made me look different but right now I look like a princess from one of the children's storybooks I saw in the library at school when I was a kid. My dress is a form fitting floor length black silk gown that has an overlay of black lace with hand sewn black and pearlescent beading all over giving it a glamorous shimmer. The lace cap sleeves, scoop neck, and hems are all edged in the same black lace. The pushup bra and design of the bodice actually makes me look like a curvy woman instead of a flat cheated little girl.

Peeking out from the hem of my dress are my very simple black open toe 3-inch pumps embellished with black faux crystals. My toenails are painted a deep crimson color to match my nails. My makeup is very basic yet completely flattering. My lips are lined and painted with the same color as my nails. My eyes are lightly lined in dark gray to enhance the blue gray color of my irises. My lashes have been curled and black mascara applied. My cheeks have a light rose color on them, a barely there shade. I know my natural blush is deeper.

The icing on the cake is my new jewelry. In my ears are the diamond studs only since I can't take them out for three days to add the tear-drop pendants. Around my neck is the tear-shaped diamond necklace that lays perfectly just above my newfound cleavage. On my left wrist is my charm bracelet. I adjusted the Dauntless and Abnegation charms so they are opposite one another.

Christina is wearing a black deep-V-neck floor length dress with wide shoulder straps that cross in the back creating an elegant look. She has black sparkly pins holding her short curly hair away from her face. From the front, Marlene looks like she's wearing a long-sleeved black floor length t-shirt that hugs her curves but when she turns around the dress is backless and daring. She has her hair in a fancy braided updo that looks stylish and trendy. Lynn is wearing a black skintight faux leather and polyester long tube dress that complements her style perfectly. Christina didn't do anything special with her hair since it's less than an inch long. Shauna is wearing a dark gray, almost black, strapless mermaid gown with a black lace and tulle overlay that looks very sophisticated. Her hair is styled into an elegant knot at the back of her head. Her long bangs are side swept and held back with one black-diamond-encrusted comb Zeke gave her for their first anniversary. We all compliment each other and note it's time to go meet our guys.


	17. Chapter 17

Shauna, Marlene, Lynn, Christina, and I walk slowly down to the cafeteria where the guys are waiting for us. At least I'm walking slowly, my shoes are deathtraps. Seriously, how do women walk in these things? I stumble a few times and finally Christina puts my arm through hers to steady me. I smile and thank her. She's a great friend.

When we come around the corner, I see the guys loitering in front of the cafeteria waiting for us. Zeke is the first one to notice us. He hits Tobias on the arm then motions towards us with his hand. Will, Uriah, and Tobias look our way but Tobias' eyes slide right over me. I can't understand why. It's as if he didn't recognize me.

I stop and give Christina a hug and say, "Thank you for _everything_. Have fun tonight." She hugs me back fiercely and turns and walks toward Will. Shauna is already in Zeke's arms and Uriah is spinning Marlene around. I notice Lynn scowl slightly at them then walk into the cafeteria. I wonder what that's about.

Finally, Tobias meets my eyes and his mouth falls open. He seems frozen in place so I'm forced to walk to him. I carefully put one foot in front of the other, wobbling a bit until I'm standing right in front of him.

"Wow, damn!" he says as his eyes slowly roam by body from head to toe and back again. A blush colors my cheeks. Finally, he takes me in his arms. "You are _so_ beautiful." He tenderly kisses my mouth. He puts his fingers on the necklace and says, "You got my present." I put my hand over his and look up into his eyes.

"Thank you so much, Four. They're so beautiful," I say. "You didn't have to do that you know."

"I know, but I wanted to. You deserve it." He hugs me close and says in my ear, "I'm so glad you chose Dauntless. I love you."

"I love you, too," I say in return. He leads me into the candlelit cafeteria keeping his arm around me where James and Ciara, Samuel and Ella, and Dante and Kirsten are already seated at our table. I take my usual seat beside Christina, and Tobias slides in after me.

"I have to say the woman at this table clean up quite well," Zeke says, not taking his eyes off of Shauna. She smiles at him. We all say thank you.

"I have to agree," Tobias says. He looks up and down the table and says, "You all look spectacular tonight." Then he looks directly into my eyes and quietly adds, "Especially you. I'm glad you thought of this party." I'm having a hard time keeping my eyes off of Tobias. He looks dazzling in his black tux. All the guys do but I've never seen him looking so polished.

All the food is especially delicious tonight. I've never had such a fancy meal in my entire life. I can't help but feel a little selfish. When I finish the main dish, Tobias asks what kind of cake I want. I tell him I would love to try the strawberry, and he comes back with a slice of strawberry cake and a slice of vanilla cake. I thought for sure he would have gotten chocolate. Out of the corner of my eye I see Uriah has a slice of each flavor and laugh.

"Uriah? Do you have enough cake, or should I get you another three pieces?" I ask, teasing him.

"Don't mess with me when I'm eating cake, Tris," he says.

"I wasn't threatening to take it away, Uriah, I was offering you more," I say with a giggle.

"Oh, in that case, sure. This is _really_ good tonight," he says putting another bite in his mouth. Everyone at the table starts to laugh except for Uriah, he just keeps eating. I can't blame him, I have come to love Dauntless cake in my short time here but tonight's cake is heavenly. I would turn into Uriah if we had this flavor every day and only eat cake. After supper is over all of us head to the auditorium. Tobias is holding my hand as we walk when my ankle buckles, and I fall into him. He quickly steadies me.

I look up at him and mutter, "Death traps." I lift my dress and hold out my right foot so he can see my shoes. "Seriously, look at these." He looks down at my foot and when he looks back up at me there's an odd look in his eyes that I don't recognize. He shakes his head then laughs.

"I'm surprised you're upright," he says, smiling. He puts his arm around my shoulders and lets me lean on him as we continue our way to the auditorium.

When we walk through the double doors, we stop and take in the site before us. Christina has transformed the auditorium into a ballroom. Hanging from the ceiling at various heights are hundreds of silver stars. The support pillars throughout the room that hold the weight of the ceiling are wrapped with greenery and frosted white twinkle lights. On the outside of the pillars are several large round tables covered in black table clothes and sitting on each table is a centerpiece made of greenery, wild flowers, and lit black candles. On the inside of the pillars is a makeshift dance floor filled with Dauntless members.

The stage is wrapped in black billowy fabric, and the stair railings are wrapped with the same greenery and frosted white twinkle lights as the support pillars to illuminate the path to the stage. On stage is a DJ booth and numerous speakers that are cranking out loud music I've never heard before. All overhead lights are turned off but the twinkle lights and candlelight are reflecting off the silver stars creating a romantic ambiance. All 15 of us head to the lead table, which has been reserved for us along with Tori and her date. Sometimes being a leader has its perks.

The music slows down, and Tobias asks me to dance. I've never danced before so I'm a little nervous but dancing with him is effortless. I put my arms around his neck. He wraps his arms lightly around my waist, and we sway to the rhythm of the music. The DJ plays songs from the past couple hundred years or so, and I find the music exhilarating. I learn about songs and artists I like and some I don't. We dance every slow song throughout the evening and even during several of the fast ones. We dance long past midnight having a wonderful time. I once again have my arms around his neck during a particularly romantic song when I yawn into his shoulder. The 3-inch heels have helped to bridge the gap between our heights.

"Tired?" he asks. I hadn't noticed I was tired until the yawn.

"Yes," I say. "It's been a long day." He pulls away from me, and I let my arms fall from around his neck. He puts his arm around my shoulder and pulls me close to his side. We say goodbye to our friends who are still here, and we start climbing out of the Pit toward our home. When we finally reach our apartment, fatigue is pulling me down. I can't wait to crawl into my big, comfortable bed and put my head on my pillow. He slowly leads me up the stairs knowing my 3-inch heels are even more dangerous to me now that I'm practically sleep walking. We stop outside his bedroom, and he gives me a long, slow goodnight kiss. We part and I tell him good night and walk into my bedroom. After dancing around for five minutes trying to get the zipper down I realize this dress is not coming off unless I ask for help.

"Tobias," I shout. "Can you come here for a minute?" He slowly comes out of his bedroom, down the hall, and into my room. He has his tie off, his shirt open, and I notice the button of his pants is undone. I swallow past a lump in my throat, and my heart picks up double time.

"Did you need something?" he asks. I bow my head a little and look shyly up at him through my eyelashes.

"I need help getting out of this dress," I say bashfully. "I can't reach the zipper." He doesn't say a word, he just comes closer to me and motions me to turn around with his finger. I very carefully turn my back to him. He places both hands on the top of my dress by the zipper. I feel his fingers graze my bare back, and the fatigue dies instantly. He holds the fabric firmly with his left hand and unhurriedly lowers the zipper with his right all the while trailing his fingertips down my spine. When he slides over my bra I let out a startled little gasp but I don't move. He continues lowering the zipper until the fabric starts to fall away from my body.

I boldly let the dress fall to the floor and lean back against his bare chest. I'm standing in front of him in nothing but my black lace strapless pushup bra, black lace boy shorts, and black faux crystal embellished 3-inch heels, and suddenly the mild spark within me is a raging fire. At this moment I realize I'm ready, and there's nothing in this world I want more than him. The new sensation of skin on skin is overwhelming. He's motionless for a moment then suddenly I feel his hands on my waist just above the lacy waistband of the boy shorts. He slides one hand up my ribcage and around until it is lying just beneath my breasts and pulls me closer to him. He runs the other hand down to my thigh and leans down and places his lips against my neck. I raise my left hand and tangle it in hair. Soon he's groaning in my ear.

I turn around in his arms and meet his urgent mouth with mine. I wrap my arms tightly around his neck, pulling him close to me. Our mouths move together perfectly synchronized for what seems like hours while he runs his hands over every unclothed inch of my body. He takes the pins and bands out of my hair and lets it fall. He threads his fingers through my mess of curls and gently pulls my head back and moves his mouth to my throat and trails kisses down to my heart. Then he puts his arms around my waist and lifts me up so he doesn't have to bend anymore. He slowly maneuvers us toward the bed, kissing me the whole way. When I feel the back of my legs hit the familiar fabric of my quilt, he lets me slide down the front of him then gently lies me back on the bed. His mouth finds mine once again as I pull him down on top of me. After a minute of fevered kissing, I slide his shirt off his shoulders, and he pulls his mouth away from mine.

"Tris," he groans, looking directly in my eyes. I know the longing I see in his eyes is mirrored in mine. "We can't do this. Not tonight," he says roughly, stroking my face. That isn't what I thought he was going to say. Suddenly I feel exposed and rejected but I can feel his need so I'm confused.

"You don't want me?" I say in a whisper. I can feel the tears threatening to flow because of how vulnerable I am right now.

"I want nothing more than to make love to you right now. You can feel how much I want you," I blush a new color of red, "but I don't have any protection. I'm sure you don't have any birth control either, right?" My eyes widen at the mention of birth control. That thought had never even crossed my mind, I was caught up in the moment. As much as I want him, I'm not ready for a baby. I shake my head at him. He eases himself off of me. "I'm sorry, Tris. I shouldn't have let things get so far," he says as I pick up his shirt and quickly slide my arms into the sleeves to cover my nearly naked body. He goes to walk out of the room when he turns back to me.

"Those are the sexiest damn shoes I've ever seen in my life. You keep those okay," he says. He winks at me then goes back to his room. I get off the bed, cross the room, and shut the door behind him. The realization of what almost happened hits me. Now that the heat of the moment is over, I can't believe I was standing in front of him in my bra, underwear, and 3‑inch high heels. I start laughing with near hysteria. What did that look like? It certainly couldn't have looked like a naive virgin.

I pick the dress up off the floor and hang it in the closet. I finally take the shoes off and massage my tired feet for a while. I go into the bathroom and wash all the makeup off my face and look in the mirror. I still have an excited look in my eyes and I blush. I put on a pair of sleep shorts and a camisole sleep shirt. I slide in between my sheets and rest my head on my pillow. I toss and turn for a while then realize what I'm missing. I slide out of bed and make my way to his door. It's shut. I close my eyes and inhale deeply. I lightly tap on his door and open it. He's started to get out of bed when I enter his room. We stare at each other for a minute, neither one of us speaking. I walk over to him, take his hand, and lead him to our bedroom where he'll sleep from now on.


	18. Chapter 18

I wake up to a light tickling on my neck. I turn my head and Tobias is lying on his stomach asleep. Every time he exhales, a strand of my hair lightly rubs against my neck tickling me. I move my hair away from my face and study Tobias as he sleeps. He has a peaceful look on his face and a slight smile on his lips. I lean up and look over his shoulder at the clock. It's 10:22 a.m. It doesn't surprise me that we slept through breakfast as late as we were out last night. While I look at him I reminisce about yesterday – the fear landscape, getting ready for the party, the delicious supper and dessert, the dancing, almost having sex. My chest and stomach tighten at that thought.

His eyes flutter a bit then close again. I know he's waking up. I lay my hand on his cheek and his eyes open. He looks at me for a bit, confused, then smiles brightly. He rolls over onto his back and stretches.

"Good morning, Tobias," I say. I lean over and kiss him not caring about morning breath.

"Good morning, Tris," he says. "How did you sleep last night?" he asks, running his fingers through my messy curls.

"Perfectly wonderful with you by my side. I've missed you," I say hugging him tightly. "By the way Tobias, this bedroom is ours now. You sleep here."

"Are you sure about that?" he asks.

"Absolutely."

"Okay. _Our_ bedroom, I like the sound of that. Hey, you told me before lunch yesterday that you had come to some conclusions but we never got a chance to talk about them. Can we talk now?"

"Sure. I was beating myself up over not understanding why I was pulling away from you after the drinking incident. I had a casual thought that if I knew for a fact whether or not you were still a part of my fear landscape it would make things better, in my head at least," I say. "I told you that you're still in my fear landscape but instead of being afraid to be with you, you're the one Jeanine wanted me to kill. When the simulation ended, I realized I was no longer scared to be with you and a weight lifted. I think I was holding on to the idea I was scared instead of actually being afraid. I decided then and there I was going to put our relationship back on the right track because I was hurting both of us. I found you a few minutes later with Zeke."

"So you really are Six now, huh?" he says still playing with my hair.

"Yeah, I guess I am." I reposition myself to lie across his chest with my chin lying on my folded hands so I'm looking directly in his eyes. "Tobias. About last night, I didn't plan that. I hope you know that. I didn't think I was ready until we were in the moment. If I had, we would have had birth control, which is something I think we should talk about."

"Are you sure, Tris? Remember we're in no hurry," he says.

"You're right, I'm not in any hurry. I don't want to rush this but there is something I do want, I want it to happen like it was going to happen last night. Totally unplanned, natural, no pressure, no deadlines. I want it to happen when it happens. And _I_ am sorry I let it go so far last night. Until you mentioned birth control, I hadn't even given it a thought. All I knew was I'm in love with you and I wanted to experience every part of you." I can't believe how forthcoming I am with him right now.

"I could get some condoms," he says quietly. I knew this would be a difficult subject for both of us because of our Abnegation backgrounds. In Abnegation you aren't even allowed to hold hands before you're married let alone talk about birth control.

"I've heard of a shot I can get that's long lasting. That way we wouldn't have to think if we have protection with us. It will already be taken care of. I can make an appointment at the clinic in town. I really don't want Dauntless spreading rumors about us."

"Okay. Do you want me to come with you?" Do I want him to come with me? I hadn't really thought of that. This _is_ about us, not just me. The responsibility should equally be ours.

"Yes, I do, Tobias, if you don't mind. We'll have to consult our schedules tomorrow, and then I'll call for an appointment." I look at the clock and it's now past 11 a.m. "Let's get ready and go to lunch. Then we can come back here and spend the rest of the day together, just us." I slide up and place my lips on his. He wraps his arms around me and rolls us over so he's on top of me. He leans on his forearms so I can't feel his weight. I run my hands up and down his back as I kiss him. Too soon he pulls back and looks in my eyes.

"You want the bathroom first?" he asks.

"No, you go ahead." He leans down and kisses me one last time before he rolls off the bed and heads toward the door.

"By the way," he says. I look over at him. "My tuxedo shirt, your bra, underwear, and those damn sexy high heels. You have to wear that for me again one day," he says, laughing as he walks into the hallway to go take a shower. I go crimson from head to toe but laugh also.

When he's done with the bathroom he hollers at me that he's done then goes to his old bedroom to get dressed. I take my turn in the shower then get dressed in black yoga pants, a black racer back tank top with a silver heart design on the front, and black running shoes. I look at my string straight hair and miss the curls from last night. I liked those. I braid my hair and pin my bangs back with a black barrette that is encrusted with silver jewels. I put on my charm bracelet then some makeup and go downstairs to join Tobias. When I get to the living room, Tobias is lounging in the club chair. I go over to him, move his legs from the ottoman, and sit down.

"I want your absolute honest opinion about something."

"Okay," he says with a look of concern on his face.

"Did you like my hair curly last night?" A smile brightens his face, and he shakes his head.

"I thought you were going to ask me something serious." I give him a look of censor and he says, "Not that your question wasn't serious." He stares at me for a moment, and I blush thinking about last night. "Yes, I really liked it curly. It was elegant when it was piled up like it was with all those pins and things but once I got it down." He shakes his head and takes my face in his hands. "It was like those damn shoes, sexy as hell." He touches his mouth to mine. When he pulls away, I pull him back to me and kiss him again.

"If it weren't for necessities like eating or breathing, I would stay locked up with you, kissing you forever. Did you know that?" I say, my lips never leaving his.

"I kind have figured that out." He pulls away from me and takes my hand. "I've created a monster."

"You have," I giggle.

"Let's go get some lunch." We both grab our phones in case of an emergency and head down to the cafeteria. Even though we have a fully loaded kitchen, we still take most of our meals in the cafeteria. We figure if we always eat at home and spend a lot of time in our offices, we'll never see our friends. We're running a bit late so everyone is already at the table. We sit in our usual spots after we get our plates.

"I never got a chance to tell you how spectacular the auditorium looked last night. Seriously, Christina it was magical," I say. Everyone at the table agrees with my assessment and tells Christina.

"Thank you!" she says brightly.

"If Dauntless ever needs a party planner, you have the job," I say.

"I would take it. I had such a good time planning the party and the decorations but the best part was bossing the maintenance people around!" She laughs heartily. "Also I don't have to do any cleanup, maintenance is taking care of that, too. It is a win-win situation!" It would be hard to feel sorry for yourself today being around Christina's contagious mood.

"Candor or Dauntless party next Friday night at 9 p.m. at my place," Uriah announces. "You're all invited." Soon the entire table is excitedly talking about past parties and all the crazy things that have happened. I just sit and listen and take everything in. It seems like the Candor or Dauntless parties can get very wild.

"You want to get out of here?" Tobias asks after a particularly hilarious story about Zeke, a duck, and a dress. I nod. "We're getting out of here," Tobias says to the table as he gets up. He takes my hand and helps me up. "I'm making supper for Tris tonight, so we won't see you guys until tomorrow. Have a good night." I tell everyone goodbye.

I let him lead me out of the cafeteria before I ask, "You're cooking for me tonight?"

"Yes."

"What are you making?"

"It's a surprise. You like surprises don't you?" he asks as he kisses the top of my head.

"I like _good_ surprises," I qualify, leaning up to give him a quick kiss. He laughs at me.

Once we get back to our apartment, we decide to watch a movie. I let him pick since I picked last time. He puts in an action comedy while I get two waters out of the refrigerator. He maneuvers the ottoman so he can put his feet on it while he sits on the couch. I give Tobias a bottle of water then sit down beside him on the couch. I untwist the lid on my bottle and take a long refreshing drink. I replace the lid and have him put the bottle on the end table. He puts his right arm across the back of the couch, and I lean into him and pull my legs up beside me. After the movie gets over, I get up and put another in. I notice the one we just watched has a sequel so I choose it. About half way through the movie our late night catches up with me, and I can no longer hold my eyes open. I fall asleep cuddled up against him.

I wake up to an unfamiliar aroma filling the apartment. I lie on the couch for a few more minutes letting myself wake fully. I sit up and see Tobias leaning over the stove. I inhale deeply trying to pick out the different scents. I smell tomatoes, onions, and some sort of bread but the most overwhelming scent is foreign to me. I must have made a noise because he looks over his shoulder at me.

"Did you finally wake up, sleepy head?" he says with a smile.

"Did I sleep long?" I look at the clock and realize I've been asleep for almost two hours. I get up and go over to the kitchen. I stand next to Tobias with my back against the counter. "What are you making?" I look in the pot and see some sort of tomato sauce.

"I'm making homemade spaghetti and garlic bread." He takes a spoon and dips it into the sauce and says, "Here, taste." He holds the spoon in front of me like a mother holding a spoon out to a baby. I move my mouth forward and taste the sauce. It's delicious.

"That's wonderful. I've never tasted anything like it before. What's in it?"

"Tomatoes, onions, olive oil, garlic, oregano, and basil. It goes on spaghetti, which is a long thin pasta. You'll love it. I promise. There's a lettuce salad in the fridge and garlic bread in the oven. Everything's almost done." Garlic, oregano, and basil – that must be what I'm smelling.

"How did you learn to make this?" I figured he only knew how to cook Abnegation food like I do.

"Zeke's mother makes this all the time. I've tagged along with Zeke and Shauna for family dinners. Hana is a really good cook, and she taught me."

I get two dinner plates and bowls out of the cupboard and silverware out of the drawer. I hand the plates to Tobias. He dishes the spaghetti out then ladles a hearty portion of sauce on top. I get the salad out of the refrigerator and lightly dress it with Italian dressing and some Romano cheese. I put a serving of salad in each bowl and slide it across the island to our seats. When I got the salad out of the fridge I noticed a bottle of sparkling cider chilling. I retrieve it and pour two glasses then take them to our seats. I sit down and wait for Tobias to serve the spaghetti. He puts a large slice of garlic bread on each plate then carries our supper around the island. He puts my plate down in front of me and sets his next to it. I thank him with a kiss then take my first bite of spaghetti. It's marvelous. All the flavors of the sauce are mingling together perfectly. The bread is buttery and crispy and flavorful. The salad is the perfect light accompaniment. The cider is absolutely delicious, and the bubbles tickle my nose. I look at Tobias out of the corner of my eye, and he's enjoying our supper as much as I am. We eat slowly, thoroughly enjoying the food and each other's company.

"Thank you for supper. It was delicious," I say when I can no longer hold another bite. "What made you think to do that?"

"I think we should make it a tradition on Sunday nights. Just you and me and a home cooked meal. What do you say?" I wrap my arms around his neck and move my mouth to his and kiss him passionately.

"I love that idea, but I think maybe we should cut back on the onion and garlic dishes." He laughs but nods. I kiss his lips again then say, "I think we need to brush our teeth."

"That's probably a good idea."

"I'll clean up the kitchen since you cooked. That can be a part of our tradition, one cooks and the other cleans."

"Sounds good. I'll be moving my clothes into our room," he says with a happy smile on his face. I watch him as he ascends the stairs two at a time then turn my attention to the kitchen. There's a little spaghetti and sauce left so I put them in containers and place them in the refrigerator. There's only a couple bites of salad left so I finish it and set the bowl in the sink. I rinse off all the dinnerware and cookware and put them in the dishwasher. I wipe off the countertops, island, and stove then start the full dishwasher. I put the sparkling cider back in the refrigerator for another time then I turn out the lights and head upstairs.

The bathroom is deserted. I take my hair out of its braid and quickly run my brush through. I note the waves left behind from braiding wet hair and realize my hair isn't always string straight. I thoroughly brush my teeth, floss, and then use ample amounts of minty mouthwash trying to erase any garlic or onion odor. Luckily I left last night's PJs behind the bathroom door so I change into them. I put my clothes in the new black hamper I bought earlier this week. It seems like we figure out another necessity every other day and have to go shopping. The movers forgot to check the bathroom for anything at his old apartment, and the maintenance people took everything to the newly formed redistribution center for the factionless per orders from Tobias, Tori, and me. No need to throw away perfectly good items when there are people in need.

I slowly walk toward the bedroom and see Tobias lounging on the bed. I lean up against the doorjamb and stare at him. I don't know what he's thinking about but he doesn't seem to notice me. He looks a million miles away.

"Something on your mind, Tobias?" I ask after a while. Suddenly he's aware that I'm standing in front of him and a smile crosses his lips. He holds his right hand out in front of him and motions me over with his finger. I slowly walk over to my side of the bed, crawl across the sheets, and lie down beside him. He wraps his arms around me.

"No, nothing's on my mind. I was just thinking about us," he says, kissing the top of my head.

"Thinking of us? You seemed a million miles away. Are you sure there isn't something bothering you?" I ask.

"I was just thinking back over the past few months and how much everything has changed. I was going to leave Dauntless, then you jumped into the net. You know that's totally unheard of right, a _Stiff_ jumping first. I didn't even do that. Then I fell in love with you."

"We fell in love with each other," I interrupt. He grins.

"We fell in love with each other," he repeats. "Erudite tried to take over Abnegation but the plot failed because of you and your brother. All the executions. You and I being named Max's successors. The morning after I came home drunk. Hearing you cry the night of the Dauntless Choosing Ceremony. Last night, how you looked in that dress, how you made me feel out of that dress." I blush crimson at that comment.

"You weren't supposed to hear that," I say remembering last Tuesday night. "The crying, I mean."

"I wanted to break through that door and hold you. I couldn't take it. I went for a run. I had to get some air."

"I didn't know you left. I'm so sorry, Tobias," I say. I reach up and pull him down to me. We turn and lie on our sides facing each other. I kiss him softly on the right cheek then move to kiss his left cheek. I finally place my lips against his and kiss him slowly for a moment then open my mouth and boldly run my tongue over his bottom lip. He opens his mouth and accepts me into him. We explore each other's mouths while our hands explore each other's bodies. He loosens his grip on me and groans. I know this is his way of telling me he's on the edge of getting carried away. I pull my mouth away from him and kiss his chin down to his neck. I pull back slightly and look into his eyes. I want nothing more than to continue but tonight isn't the night. I tell Tobias goodnight and turn my back to him. He slides up behind me, nestling me with his body. We sleep this way all night.


	19. Chapter 19

When the alarm goes off, I hear Tobias mutter a curse and turn the incessant buzzing off. I feel his strong arms tighten around me the same moment I feel his lips lightly touch my neck. I smile at the sensation of his mouth on my skin. I turn in his arms and find his mouth. After we're breathless, he pulls back and stares down into my eyes. There's a happiness shining in his eyes that tugs at my heart.

"Are we going for a run or do you just want to stay in bed?" I ask, playfully running a hand up his bare chest. He grabs my hand and brings it to his mouth. He kisses the palm.

"We better go for a run," he says. "I can't be held responsible for my actions if we stay in bed much longer." There's pure lust in his eyes now. He aggressively kisses me again then slides out of bed. I flop back on the bed to catch my breath and watch him walk to his closet. I will never get used to the sight of his near-perfect form. He takes his clothes and heads to the bathroom. I roll over onto his side of the bed and put my head on his pillow. I inhale his scent, letting it calm my racing heart. I must have fallen asleep because the next thing I know Tobias is sitting down on the edge of the bed lightly shaking me awake. I turn my head toward him and notice his freshly washed hair.

"You better get up and get ready for work." He leans down and places a kiss to my shoulder blade.

"You went running without me?" I say with a yawn.

"You fell back to sleep, and I didn't want to wake you." He rubs his hand across my back, sparking the familiar flames that consume me whenever he touches me. We may need birth control sooner than I think if things keep going this way. I roll over and hungrily look up at him. He recognizes the expression on my face and guesses what I'm thinking. "Tris," he groans, shaking his head. I know he's right but my body is disagreeing with him. I moan and move to get out of bed. He stands up and takes a step back to let me pass. I trail my hand down his arm as I head toward the closet. I pick out another new outfit Christina helped me assemble then go to the bathroom to take a shower. After I get ready, I head downstairs to meet Tobias.

We walk to the cafeteria talking about our schedule. Thursday we have to meet with Uriah, Peter, and the other Faction Ambassadors. Friday I have to go to the monthly leaders meeting. Since it's in Amity, I have to spend the night, so I'm going to miss the Candor or Dauntless party Uriah is throwing. Tobias said he wouldn't go without me but I told him I wanted him to go and have fun with our friends.

After breakfast, which consisted of fried eggs, thick cut bacon, wheat toast with fresh strawberry jam, freshly squeezed orange juice, and hot coffee, Tobias and I head to his office. I call the clinic to make the appointment to get the birth control shot. They confidently have an open appointment this afternoon at 2:00 p.m., and after conferring with Tobias, I take it.

Tobias and I spend the morning making ourselves available to Dauntless members. I tour places in the compound I didn't even know existed like the ice cream parlor, pizza place, swimming pool, rec room, arcade, night club, and theater. We also visit the commissary, weapons store, home store, furniture store, department store, electronics store, clothing store, boutique, salon, and tattoo parlor. Tori was training Christina in original tattoo design, and they tried to talk us into matching tattoos but we politely declined. We tell Tori we have an appointment outside the compound this afternoon and will be leaving at 1:30 p.m.

We aren't asked many questions but we are complemented several times on the noticeable change in the atmosphere already. People are starting to relax into the new teamwork-based Dauntless. They no longer feel like they have to watch every step. It's a gratifying feeling knowing we helped create that.

We go to our apartment for lunch. He warms up the rest of last night's spaghetti and garlic bread as I prepare another salad from our remaining ingredients. I pour the last two glasses of sparkling cider and recycle the bottle. We decide to eat lunch on the couch today. Before he sits down beside me, he turns the stereo on and turns the volume down so it's just background noise. We eat in comfortable silence enjoying the food. When we finish our plates, he lets me go brush my teeth while he cleans up the kitchen. I thoroughly wash my mouth erasing any trace of lunch. I return to my seat on the couch and Tobias comes out of the powder room with the smell of mint on his breath. We spend the rest of the lunch hour on the couch in each other's arms.

"I can't believe there's a swimming pool and movie theater here. Why didn't I know this?" I ask him.

"Some of these places are specifically for members. We don't tell initiates about them. Then after all the distraction of the past few weeks, I forgot to show you."

"I can't wait to tell Christina and Will about these places. We can have date nights!" I say, excitement evident in my voice.

"Yes we can. Double dates, group dates, just the two of us. It will be different taking in these places with you," he says. "I've only been in groups before and the guys were always trying to set me up with some girl who I wasn't into. It was maddening. I stopped going after a while." Jealousy rushes through me but subsides quickly.

"I'm glad you never liked any of those girls. I would have been heartbroken if you had been dating someone," I softly say.

"I never liked anyone until I looked into your eyes, your beautiful eyes," he amends.

"I'm not even pretty, Tobias," I say sternly, "so don't call me beautiful."

"You look at me, Beatrice Prior," he commands. I turn wide eyed and look into his stern face. "You are not only pretty you are _more_ than pretty, you are _beautiful_. I wish you could see yourself through my eyes." I'm skeptical but what does he gain by lying? He already has me. I frown at him. "You don't believe me do you?"

"I've been looking in the mirror for 16 years Tobias, albeit most of those years it was only every three months through Abnegation eyes, but I know what I look like. I'm the definition of plain."

"You listen to me," he says, firmly grasping my shoulders. "You have gorgeous, wide, blue-gray eyes that remind me of storm clouds forming, and when you have eyeliner on like you do right now, they are a blue that pierces straight to my heart. You have shiny blond hair that reminds me of the Amity fields in fall. You have a trim, compact body that fits with mine perfectly. Everything about you is beautiful – your looks, your spirit, your determination, your drive. I _never_ want to hear you speak negatively about yourself again. You hear me?"

"Yes, Tobias," I say. He really does think I'm beautiful. I lunge at him and wrap my arms around his neck. I place my lips to his. He wasn't ready for my assault, and it takes him a moment to catch up to my mood. He opens my lips with his and boldly shoves his tongue in my mouth. I meet his tongue with mine and let them dance. He retreats his tongue back into his mouth and pulls back. He looks into my eyes as we catch our breath but instead of my heart slowing it hammers louder in my chest.

I get up off the couch, excuse myself, and go into the powder room. I close the door and lean against it. I take several deep, calming breathes waiting for my heart rate to drop to normal. I look in the mirror and see a hectic look in my eyes. I turn the faucet on and splash some cold water on my face and neck. I retrieve a towel from the small linen closet and pat myself dry. I hang up the damp towel and head into the living room.

"I think we need to get back to work," I say looking at the clock. In truth it's a few minutes early but I can't tempt myself anymore right now. We leave and go to our individual offices until we have to leave for my doctor's appointment. I text Tori and remind her we're leaving then we run to catch the train. Once we're on the train we sit on the bench opposite the open door side by side not saying anything. I'm sure he's just as nervous about this as I am. I glance up at him out of the corner of my eye, and he is looking down at me the exact same way. He holds out his hand, and I firmly grasp it in mine. I need his strength to flow into me right now. I practice deep breathing until it's time to jump.

After jumping from the train, we walk hand-in-hand to the clinic. It's located across the street from the massive hospital that's mainly used by the other four factions and the factionless. It isn't very often Dauntless need to go to the hospital unless something is seriously wrong that cannot be treated in the infirmary. I learned that recently. We have our own nurses and doctors but they're basically general practitioners who treat injuries and acute illnesses. If any chronic illnesses arise, the person is sent to the hospital.

Tobias drops my hand and holds the door to the clinic open for me. In front of me is a large bright white waiting area with light brown leather 2- and 3-seater couches and individual dark brown leather club chairs. A lot of the chairs are occupied with various faction members and even some factionless. Tobias puts his hand lightly on my back and steers me to the reception desk. He slides his hand up to my Dauntless tattoo and holds it there telling me to be brave. I tell the nurse behind the desk my name and that I have a 2 o'clock appointment. She gives me a form to fill out. I fill it out and give it back to her then sit next to Tobias on one of the 2-seater couches. I'm so nervous my legs are shaking, and he puts his hand on my knee to calm me.

Soon the double doors opens and a pretty, short, red haired woman with bright green eyes wearing green surgical scrubs walks into the waiting area. She is juggling some paperwork and calls my name. Tobias and I get up from our chairs and follow her into a small examination room. Tobias sits in a chair by the wall, and the nurse tells me to sit on the examination table.

"Hello, Tris," she says referring to my chart. "My name is Isobel. I am going to be doing your examination and administering your birth control shot today. Who is this with you?" she says not looking up from her paperwork.

"This is my boyfriend, Four," I say.

She looks up from the paperwork with a smile and says, "Oh yes, Dauntless. Some unusual names there. So, Tris, you are wanting the birth control shot. We first will need to do an examination so Four, could you return to the waiting room. I will come and get you when we are done." He squeezes my hand before he gets up and walks out of the room. My anxiety level raises without him here to help calm me.

She hands me a disposable paper gown and tells me to get undressed then gives me some privacy. When she comes back into the room she has me lie down on the examination table. First she gives me a breast examination, which is weird. No one else has ever touched me there before. Then she proceeds with the pelvic examination, which isn't the most comfortable thing in the world. After she's done, she tells me I can get dressed and to sit in the chair closest to the computer. About five minutes later there's a knock on the door, and Tobias sticks his head into the room. I'm so thankful to see him. He comes across the tiny space and sits next to me. I reach out to him and hold his hands. We stay quiet. About 10 minutes later Isobel comes back into the room.

"I want to tell you all the tests look normal. Before I administer the shot, I need to explain some things to you. Once administered, the shot will last for one year. You will need yearly exams and shots to continue the birth control. We will set up your next visit when you leave and contact you shortly before the appointment as a reminder. Since this is your first shot, it will not protect you fully for approximately three months. Each shot after this will protect you immediately. This shot will protect you against pregnancy but not against sexually transmitted disease. You should use condoms for that," she says as she slides a small sack to me. I look inside and see a box of condoms. My face goes red and she smiles. "I'm going to administer the shot now." She pushes up my sleeve and wipes off a spot with an alcohol swab very similar to the one Christina used to wipe off my ears the day she pierced them for me. "There is going to be a pinch." I look toward Tobias and squeeze his hand tighter as she inserts the needle in my arm and administers the drug. "There is a possibility of an injection site reaction. It might swell a little and turn red. If it does just take some ibuprofen and put ice on it. If the redness or swelling persists for more than two to three days, we would like to see you back. Here is a pamphlet about the shot including side effects, possible reactions, and safe sex techniques. Do either of you have any questions?"

"Is there a way to tell when the shot becomes 100% effective?" I ask quietly.

"No. The best thing to do is use condoms for the next three months. Anything else?" We both shake our heads no, and she escorts us back to the waiting room. At the reception desk, the nurse automatically makes an appointment for one year from today. We thank her and leave the clinic.

We are both noticeably quiet on the walk back to the train. We start running when the train approaches. Tobias jumps on first then helps me in. I sit on the bench like on the earlier ride, and he stands leaning out the door. I'm hiding the sack Isobel gave me because it feels like a spotlight saying look at me, look at me, I'm going to have _sex_. I move it from one hand to the other, sit it down beside me, and then pick it up again. I hear something and notice Tobias is in front of me looking at me.

"Did you say something?" I ask him. He smiles and sits down beside me.

"It makes it real now, doesn't it?" he says. "Too real maybe." I don't know what to say so I just stare at him. He takes my empty hand in his. "Maybe we got caught up in a romantic weekend, and we really aren't ready for this." He gestures to the sack in my other hand.

"Tobias, I'm not sure I'm ready," I finally say. "I'm not scared but I'm not ready either. I think it's a good thing we didn't have these on Saturday night." I pick up my other hand. He lets my hand go and wraps his arm around my shoulders and pulls me closer to him. A couple hours ago this simple gesture would have set my blood boiling but now it's just comforting.

"We aren't in any hurry. Just remember, when we're ready, we're protected," he says, "one way or another."


	20. Chapter 20

My eyes flutter open at the sound of Tobias getting out of bed. He heads to the closet to get out his running gear. He hears me stir and looks over his shoulder.

"Coming with me this morning, Six?" I would love nothing more than to roll over and cover my head up but I've come to cherish our early morning runs. I nod my head at him. "Don't forget it's cold out. Wear plenty of layers." He's told me that every morning for the past month! He goes to the bathroom to get dressed and leaves me to my thoughts.

The past three months have flown by. Tobias and I have settled into our roles as Dauntless leaders alongside Tori. We're all very well respected and much liked. Dauntless has become a much more even-keeled place to be. Tobias is happier than I've ever seen. People help one another, and the recklessness has stopped for the most part. There has not been any trouble since the beating incident at the train track with Daniel Parks. Although we're not actively investigating the lists at this time, we haven't forgotten about them either. They're the only dark cloud hanging over Dauntless right now.

Tobias takes time out of his schedule each week to train with Uriah, Christina, and me to prepare us for next year's initiates. We are all exemplary with weapons now. I can shoot and throw a knife with both my left and right hands. Tobias was very impressed that I had taught myself how to throw left handed, although he hates the knives. He thinks of them as a reckless, showy part of Dauntless that he wants to do away with. We've had a couple heated discussions about that. We've learned every name of every punch and kick for hand-to-hand combat. I even talked him into fighting me a couple times. The first time he took it easy on me and let me win but I complained he wasn't giving special treatment to Uriah or Christina so he better quit it with me. The second time we fought he knocked me out. Now he won't even talk about us getting on the mat together again. I might have been able to persuade him if it weren't for my black eye. I had to get Christina's help with my makeup for about a week to cover up the various colors around my right eye. I keep telling him it was a lucky punch but he just shakes his head at me.

I actually thought the monthly leaders meeting would be another low point but I was wrong. I haven't seen Marcus once but I've seen both my dad and Caleb, who is Erudite's representative to the council. He's a leader-in-training at Erudite because he was instrumental in stopping Jeanine's plan, although none of his peers know that. My dad is not only Abnegation's representative but the council's representative as well. The other two representatives are Summer Miller from Amity and Sofia Rengard from Candor. We all work very well together and have implemented some great changes. The other factions have pledged to take unused items in good shape to the redistribution center like Dauntless committed. This includes old clothing, linens, bedding, and furniture. I explained to Caleb, Summer, Sofia, and Dad that Dauntless took an unused space and turned it into a staging area. All donations are moved there and then taken to the redistribution center once a month. Each faction representative thought it was a great idea, so after getting okay from the entire council, this program was implemented citywide.

We're also in negotiations to loosen the rules about mingling between factions. I believe if each faction weren't so isolated from one another maybe tensions wouldn't arise so easily. We all rely on other factions to live so what should it hurt if we're able to socialize a little if we wanted to. I believe the five of us are on the same page but my dad is having a hard time selling it to the other council members. They need reassuring I'm not looking to destroy the faction system but strengthen it.

The only downside to the monthly leaders meeting I've found so far is having to leave Tobias. The two meetings I've attended were held in Amity. We all spent the night since the trip there was a lengthy one and the meeting was a daylong affair. Amity was a gracious host but it wasn't home. Late next week, I have to make another Amity trip and, although I don't look forward to leaving him overnight, I am looking forward to picking up one of his Christmas gifts. I commissioned an Amity artist to sketch the chasm and frame it for Tobias. I asked Summer who the best artist she knew, and I was referred to Gunner. I explained the chasm to him in as much detail as I could recall. He got a message to me just yesterday telling me it's complete, and I cannot wait to see it. This will be the first gift I have ever given anyone.

I have made some wonderful, lasting friendships these past months. I count Ella and Ciara as two of my closest friends along with Christina and Will. Becoming friends with Ciara was as natural as breathing. I cannot imagine someone not liking her. My relationship with Ella took more time to develop but that's just because she's really shy, which I had a hard time understanding at first. You don't find many shy Dauntless members. Actually, Ella is the only one I've ever come across. I don't mind spending time with Kirsten but I tolerate her more than crave her company. Zeke, Shauna, Uriah, Marlene, and Lynn are also a daily part of my circle of friends, and we spend a lot of free time together.

My relationship with Tobias is better than it's ever been. It gets stronger each day. We are still waiting, but we're both okay with that. We had some awkward moments after he accompanied me to the clinic to get the birth control shot but things straightened themselves out rather quickly. We set aside time weekly to be together. Besides our Sunday night home cooked meals, we reserve Saturday night just for the two of us to go out or stay in depending on our moods. On Friday nights we either go out with our friends or to a party. I finally witnessed a famous Candor or Dauntless party and had the best time. Zeke is absolutely crazy. He never turns down a truth or a dare and never takes anything off unless you dare him to then he would strip down to nothing and run around the Pit. When things started getting reckless, Tobias put a stop to it. Candor or Dauntless and drinking don't mix after a while. Everyone was a bit upset with him, but they quickly got over it.

Tobias has followed through on his promise and hasn't had a drink since the night he came home drunk and, for that, I'm thankful. When we go out, we drink water, sparkling cider, and an occasional cola. At first Zeke, James, Dante, and Samuel gave him a hard time, but Tobias set them straight immediately. No drinking for him, he doesn't want to lose me. Now Zeke just grumbles about the good ole days but I have a feeling Tobias isn't missing anything. Shauna seems happier also because, since I took his drinking buddy away, Zeke doesn't go out as much. Tobias still goes out with his friends occasionally but he comes home sober. Just then a pair of pants hits me in the face.

"Are you going to get out of bed on your own or do I have to extricate you myself?" he asks teasing. I groan at his cheerfulness. I will never be the morning person he is. I manage to maneuver myself into a sitting position right before he stalks toward the bed. I start to protest as my eyes register what he's about to do but it's too late. He grabs me and throws me over his shoulder, knocking the wind out of me momentarily. He picks up the pants he threw at me moments before then goes over to the dresser and gets out a running bra, my most basic pair of boy shorts, which have become my favorite type of undies, and sweat wicking thermal underwear. Then he goes to the closet and gets a long sleeve black t-shirt and a black sweatshirt. He carries me into the bathroom and deposits me in the middle of the warm white tile floor. Thankfully the person who designed this bathroom thought to put in in-floor heat. It gets cold here in the winter.

After glowering at him for a moment I shoo him out of the bathroom. I quickly brush my teeth and pull my hair back into a ponytail. I dress in the clothes Tobias picked out for me and meet him by the front door. He hands me my black leather gloves and black knit hat, and I pull them on. We lock the door behind us and head out into the brisk December morning. The sun is just coming up, casting a purplish glow over the city. It is absolutely breathtaking. We decide on five miles this morning and go one of our preset routes. He no longer has to slow his pace for me to keep up. I've gotten a lot stronger in the past three months, and there are times he has a hard time keeping up with me.

When we get home, we decide to eat in the apartment instead of the cafeteria. I make poached eggs, crispy bacon, and wheat toast while Tobias showers and gets dressed for the day. I pour two glasses of orange juice and two cups of coffee out of our new coffee maker. His old one blew up on me last week. I went straight to the home store to replace it. I have come to heavily rely on my morning coffee. I start my breakfast while I'm waiting on him to join me. He comes down the stairs when I put my third bite in my mouth. We sit side-by-side at the island talking about what's on today's agenda.

When I'm done with my breakfast, I go upstairs and get ready for the day. I take a long shower letting the hot water relax my sore muscles. I put my still wet hair in a French braid. I dress in one of my standard winter Dauntless outfits: Black boot cut jeans, black long-sleeved scoop neck T-shirt, and black fur lined ankle boots. I apply the natural looking makeup Tobias has come to love: Light charcoal eyeliner, black mascara, and a barely-there pink lip stain. I do have to admit it enhances my looks. I still have a hard time as thinking of myself as beautiful or even pretty. Tobias told me once he wished I could see myself through his eyes, and there are days I think I can. The way he looks at me astonishes me. He looks at me the way I look at him, and he's far from plain.

I bound down the stairs and move straight toward him. I launch myself into his open arms. He holds me tightly around my waist as I wrap my arms around his neck pulling his mouth to mine. He moves us back a few steps and turns to sit me down on the island. We have this move choreographed. The first time we did this, he realized rather quickly the island is the perfect height so he doesn't have to occupy his hands with holding me up. He moves his hands up and down my back while I tangle my hands in his now wavy hair. After a few minutes we part to catch our breath.

"Good morning, Tobias," I say.

"Good morning, Tris," he replies.

"When is the last time you got a haircut?" I say, ruffling his tresses.

"You don't like it?" he asks, taking on an exaggerated wounded look.

"Actually, I love your waves but it's getting a bit shaggy up here," I say grabbing a handful of hair on the top of his head.

"I guess it's time for a haircut," he says moving his mouth back to mine for a quick kiss. He groans as he pulls away and helps me off the island. He pulls me toward the door and then down to his office. We meet Tori and go through our schedule for the day and then the week.

"I think it's time to start planning the Christmas party," Tori says at the end of the meeting.

"Christmas party?" I say, excitement visible on my face.

"Yes," Tobias says, a smile tugging up his lips. He knows I've never celebrated Christmas before because of Abnegation rules. "There's a big Christmas party each year with food, gifts, dancing. It's one of the biggest nights of the year. It's usually held the Saturday night before Christmas." He looks at his calendar momentarily. "Christmas is Friday, so the party will be Saturday, December 19, a little less than two weeks away."

"Do you two have any reservations to Christina and me heading the party planning?" I ask. "I promised her after the fantastic Halloween Party she planned that she would be our go to party planner." They both shake their heads no.

"You two did a wonderful job with the last party," Tori says. "I'm looking forward to seeing what you do with this one. I have a feeling it will be the best party Dauntless has ever seen."

Since my schedule is very light today, I decide to share the news with Christina about the Christmas party. I tell Tobias I'm going to go meet with Christina and if he doesn't find me in my office to look for me in the cafeteria at lunch. I don't know exactly where to look for her today, so I start with the tattoo parlor but she isn't there. Next I check the salon and clothing store but they tell me she's off today. That means she could only be one place. I wander down the path to the boutique thinking about different ideas for the party. When I enter the store, I don't see Christina anywhere. Soon Zoe, Christina's boss, comes out of the back with a panicked look on her face. It smooth's over a bit when she sees me.

"Tris, I am _so_ glad to see you," she says. "There's something wrong with Christina. Follow me." I trail her into the back room. We pass stacks of unpacked cardboard boxes. Christina is sitting on the floor by a small powder room with her hands wrapped around her legs, her head down on her knees, rocking back and forth. I look back at Zoe and silently communicate to her that I'll take it from here.

"Christina," I say as I squat down next to her and gently lie my hand on the back of her head. "What's wrong?" She looks up at me, tears streaming from her red-rimmed dark brown eyes.

"Will's going to kill me," she says.

"Christina," I say looking her in the eyes, "what are you talking about? Will would never hurt you." She looks so lost and confused right now. I have no idea what to make of it.

"Tris, I think I'm pregnant," she says before she starts sobbing again.


	21. Chapter 21

Pregnant? Christina pregnant at 16? Oh my. I slide down the wall to sit on the floor beside her and pull her into my arms. She puts her head on my shoulder, and I hold her while she cries. We sit in silence as she gets all her pent up emotions out.

"How long have you suspected you were pregnant?" I ask, still holding her.

"Just this morning. I started doing some math and totally freaked out. I don't know why I haven't suspected earlier. _I'm two months late, Tris._ I've never been as much as two _days_ late before. I don't know what to do. I can't tell Will. He's going to kill me."

"Will isn't going to kill you, Christina, and you have to tell him."

"I don't want to tell him until I know for sure, and I don't want to go to the infirmary. Marlene does half her training there. I don't want to run into her." I understand not wanting to run into anyone you know when you're handling a delicate situation.

"How about I take you to the clinic uptown? I can call and make an appointment for you. I'll go with you." She nods at me. "Try not to worry, Christina. This might be nothing." Two months late though. I doubt it's nothing but I try to keep the worry off my face. I call the clinic, and they have an available appointment in 30 minutes. If we leave right now, we'll just make it.

I get Christina to her feet and tell Zoe she's taking the rest of the day off. Zoe nods at me and tells Christina to feel better. I don't think she knows what's going on. I text Will and tell him Christina is helping me with a project, and we won't be available until supper time. She thanks me for dealing with Will for the time being. I text Tobias and tell him I have an emergency meeting in town, and I won't see him until supper. When he responds he asks if everything is okay, and I tell him I'm fine, which is true. I don't tell him about Christina.

We run and jump on the train, which luckily gets there at the same time we do. We sit side-by-side in silence on the bench watching the scenery pass by. I wish there was something I could say or do to comfort her but I've never been in this situation, so I just keep quiet. I recognize the hospital from Tobias' and my trip to the clinic. I get up and move to the door. She looks at me.

"We have to jump off soon," I say to her. She gets up off the bench and joins me at the open door. Just a moment before we jump I wonder how safe it is to jump on and off a moving train for a pregnant woman. I push the thought down though, hoping I don't need the answer to that question for quite some time.

We jump off the train and briskly walk to the clinic. I open the door and quickly scan the familiar interior. We go to the reception desk and tell the nurse Christina's name. She gives her some paperwork to fill out. There are a lot more forms than when I filled out mine just three months ago. We sit on one of the 2-seater light brown leather couches, and she carefully fills out each form.

I let my eyes wander about the room while she is occupied with the clerical task. My eyes land on a frail-looking, slim, middle-aged woman with olive skin and dark curly hair. She's wearing yellow Amity pants and a black Dauntless winter coat indicating she's factionless. I think I can make out a gray Abnegation sweater under the coat, but I can't be sure. She's staring out the window at a little Candor girl with blonde ringlet curls running away from her parents on the sidewalk in front of the clinic with longing in her eyes. Suddenly, she turns her dark, almost black eyes my way with a stern look of censor. I can tell she doesn't like being looked at. A strong sense of déjà vu washes over me when our eyes meet. I know I've seen this woman somewhere before but I can't place where.

Just then a pretty red-haired nurse comes through the closed double doors that lead to the examination rooms, and I immediately recognize Isobel. She calls Christina's name, and we get up and follow her back to the same room where she did my examination. She indicates to Christina to sit on the examination table, and I sit where Tobias sat and am suddenly just as nervous as I was that day.

"Hello, Christina," she says, referring to the chart in her hands. "My name is Isobel. I am going to be helping you today. Who is this with you?" she says not looking up from the paperwork. She's very consistent. This is almost exactly what happened the day Tobias and I were here.

"This is my best friend, Tris." At the mention of my name Isobel looks up from her paperwork and stares directly at me.

"Awe yes, Tris. It is nice to see you again," she says. Christina's head whips my direction. There are questions in her eyes but she'll save them for later. I just smile at Isobel.

"So, Christina, you are here for a pregnancy test, is that correct?" Christina turns her attention back to the nurse.

"Yes," she croaks out almost inaudibly.

"Can you tell me the date of your last period?" she asks. Christina puts her head down, and I can tell she is calculating the date.

"August 31."

"Okay. I am going to do a blood test to check your hCG level, which is a hormone an embryo produces during pregnancy." She wipes off the interior of Christina's arm with an alcohol swab then inserts a needle into her vein, drawing a vile of blood. She then puts a bandage on the puncture site. "I will be back in approximately 15 minutes with your results. You can sit with your friend now." She leaves the room taking the vile of blood with her. Christina slowly gets off the exam table and moves to the chair next to mine. I feel her eyes on me. I finally look at her.

"How does the nurse know who you are, Tris?" she asks. I take a deep breath before I answer her.

"I came here for a birth control shot three months ago," I confess. She stares at me, mouth agape. "It's not that big of a deal, Christina. Four and I just wanted to be protected when we decide we are ready."

"So you two still haven't slept together?" I laugh a little.

"Actually, we sleep together every night," I admit, "but no, we haven't had sex. We are waiting until the time feels right."

"How can you be that close to him and not..." She lets the question trail off.

"There are times it's more difficult than others but we decided we're in no hurry and we aren't. We want it to happen naturally, no planning. It's taken the pressure off both of us. This is still a difficult subject for me. In Abnegation you aren't allowed to be alone in the same room with your betrothed let alone kiss or hold hands but sex." I shake my head. "That is totally out of the question."

"I remember how you reacted to Edward and Myra kissing in the cafeteria when we first got to Dauntless. I thought you were going to crawl under the table. You were appalled."

"I had never seen a kiss between the opposite sexes until that day, except for when my mom or dad would give a little peck to Caleb or me when we were little. It just wasn't done, _isn't_ done." Christina puts her head down and plays with her hands nervously.

"What did your mom tell you about sex, Tris?" That is a conversation I didn't think I would ever have with another person, except for maybe Tobias one day.

"Not much I'm afraid to admit. It was all very clinical," I say. "She told me what intercourse was, the mechanics of it. That you don't do it until you're married, and it's only for the procreation of children."

"She didn't tell you how amazing it could be," Christina says.

"No. As far as I'm concerned, my parents had sex twice, to have Caleb and me. When she gave me 'the talk' that's how it sounded."

"Do you think they love each other?"

"I'm sure they do. I've seen how they look at each other. The night before the Choosing Ceremony, I saw her hold his hand. It's the only time in my life I've seen them touch each other, not a kiss, a caress, nothing. What did your mom tell you?"

"She told me the basics much like your mom told you but she also told me about the emotional side of sex. That I should wait until I'm absolutely in love with the other person because sex can change a relationship, it can change a person. She was right. Will and I were great together before but it deepened our relationship. I don't know how to describe it. Physically it's unlike anything else. But emotionally, I've never been closer to anyone than I am to him. It's amazing. I can't be pregnant Tris, I just can't. It will change everything." She drops her head, and I see the tears flow again.

"Everything will work out the way it's supposed to Christina," I say. We are silent until Isobel comes back into the room. I clasp Christina's hand in mine in a show of support. She squeezes it so tight that I let out a little yelp but she doesn't loosen her grip.

"Christina, your test results are back. You are indeed pregnant, approximately three months according to your hCG levels. I would like to do a pelvic exam and an ultrasound today if that is okay with you?" Christina's in shock.

"Isobel, could you give us a few moments?" I say to her. She nods and leaves the room. I get up from my chair and kneel in front of Christina.

"Hey," I say. I wait until her eyes meet mine. "I know these are not the results you wanted and I'm sorry. What do you want to do?"

"I'll have the tests. Even though I was hoping I wasn't pregnant, when I figured out how long it had been since my last period, I knew. I'm having a baby, Tris. I just hope Will's okay with my decision." I won't give her false hope and say he'll be okay with it, but I can't image he wouldn't be. He loves her.

"I'm here for you," I say reaching up to wipe the tears off her cheek. "No matter what." She's hugging me when Isobel comes back in the room. "Do you want me to wait outside while she does the exams?"

"No. Please stay with me." Isobel gives Christina a paper gown like I wore three short months ago, and she changes out of her Dauntless clothes and into that. I hold her hand during her pelvic exam. Isobel tells her the pregnancy is progressing well. Then she leaves the room for a minute. She comes back in with a handheld machine that looks similar to a cellphone but it has a wand thing attached to it. Isobel covers the lower half of Christina's body with a paper drape and raises her gown to expose her abdomen. She puts some clear jelly on her stomach and places the wand over the goo and moves it around until we hear a rapid fluttering noise in the room.

"That is your baby's heartbeat," Isobel says. At that moment, Christina breaks out in a wide smile. "I'm going to take some pictures of the fetus and give them to you on your way out." She takes the machine and sets it next to the computer then wipes the jelly off of Christina's stomach. "I'll let you get dressed then I'll be back in to go over some things with you." Christina gets dressed quickly. She sits back down and places her hands lovingly over her stomach.

Isobel opens the door then sits in front of the computer. After a few keystrokes four photos pop up on the screen. She turns the monitor so that Christina and I both can get a better look. She clicks on the upper left picture, and it soon takes up the entire screen. We are looking at a flawless black and white picture of her baby. Isobel points out all the visible parts, the head, body, arms, legs. It's too soon to know what the sex of the baby is, which disappoints Christina a little. Isobel says she won't be able to tell her that information for another 8-10 weeks. After looking at all four photos, Isobel turns off the monitor.

"I'll need to see you once a month for now. Once you get closer to delivery I will need to see you every two weeks and then weekly." She looks down at her papers and continues. "Sex is safe for right now. I would limit jumping on and off moving trains. It could cause a miscarriage. I recommend you get three to five servings of dairy daily. Eat lots of fruits and vegetables. Limit red meat. Have you been feeling ill at all?"

"No, I haven't," Christina responds.

"You're very lucky. A lot of women have already experienced morning sickness by this time. It's entirely possible you still might experience it. It's normal either way. I will give you a folder with all this information. Do you have any questions for me?

"Do you know when I'm due?" Christina asks.

"Of course. I'm sorry, I should have already told you that. You are due on June 13. Any other questions?" Christina shakes her head no. "Congratulations, Christina. I will have your folder at the reception desk. You can make your next appointment there. I will see you next month." She opens the door for us, and we go into the waiting area. The nurse behind the desk hands Christina a folder with pamphlets, test results, and the ultrasound pictures. She makes an appointment for next month, and we turn to leave. As we exit the clinic, I see the familiar woman walking toward the factionless part of town. Recognition sweeps over me once again but I still can't figure out who she is. Christina sees the look on my face and asks me about it.

"You see that factionless woman, Amity pants and Dauntless jacket? I swear I know her but I can't figure out from where. It's driving me crazy," I say to her then I look at her. "You okay, Christina?" She looks at me, a smile slowly brightening her face, and she folds her hands lovingly over her abdomen.

"I'm having a baby, Tris."


	22. Chapter 22

Christina and I walk to the train out of habit but once we arrive at the tracks, we both remember Isobel's recommendation for Christina not to jump on and off moving trains, so we decide we should walk back to the Dauntless compound. Thankfully, it warmed up nicely today so we don't freeze. We shadow the train tracks since we don't know exactly how to get back to the compound from here. I offer to let her borrow the car, which I only found out about when I had to go to Amity for the leader's meeting, to go to her appointments from now on. She gratefully accepts my offer.

"You know I came to talk to you this morning because I have a proposition for you," I say after we walk several blocks in silence. This piques her interest. "Apparently, there's a big Dauntless Christmas party each year, and I volunteered you to help me plan it. If you're not up for it, I understand."

"Tris, I'm pregnant, not dying. Of course I'll help you plan it. When is it?"

"December 19. Not quite two weeks away. You think we can pull it off?" I ask jokingly. If anyone can do this, she can.

"Of course. I already have some great ideas," she says. We spend the rest of the time walking back to Dauntless talking about the Christmas party. Since I'll be gone to Amity Thursday and Friday next week we decide to get together this Friday after lunch to finalize the party plans. "It's a great excuse to buy new dresses, especially since I probably won't fit into anything I already own."

"When have you ever needed an excuse to shop, Christina?" I ask her lightheartedly. She smiles brightly at me.

"You know me so well," she says then sighs. "What should I tell him?"

"I think the direct approach is best. Just get it out there. When do plan on telling him," I ask.

"I need to do it soon. I'm just not sure how to do it. How do I change his life so completely? It's one thing to change my life but to force this onto him also. Maybe I'm being selfish." Sadness returns to her face, and I see tears swimming in her eyes.

"It's not selfish, Christina. This is his child, too," I say putting my arm around her waist.

"I know," she says patting the hand that's on her side. Gratefully, I see the Dauntless compound ahead of us.

"It's still early. Why don't you come up to my place, and I'll fix you something warm to eat. I told Zoe you wouldn't be back today anyway, and Will's still at work. We can spend the afternoon talking, party planning, or watching a movie. Whatever you want," I say as we reach the door. She agrees and we slip up to my apartment unnoticed.

I tell her to make herself at home, and she lounges in the oversized club chair, which seems to be her favorite spot in my apartment. I heat the oven then place half a small loaf of French bread in it to warm up. I take two bottles of spring water out of the refrigerator and place them on the end table between the couch and club chair. Tobias made homemade beef stew with extra potatoes and carrots last night so I warm up enough for Christina and me. I get two dinner plates and two soup bowls out of the cupboard. I take the bread out of the oven and lightly butter it. I cut the bread in half and in half again then place a piece on each plate. I fill each bowl with stew and set them on the plates. I hand Christina one plate and sit down on the couch with mine. We eat the comfort food in silence. When we're done I take our dishes and put them in the dishwasher and start it.

"That was really good, did you make it?" she asks as I sit down on the couch.

"No, Four made it. He's a much better cook than I am," I admit.

"Four cooks?" she says, disbelief plain on her face. I stop myself right before I tell her everyone from Abnegation has to help with the cooking. She doesn't know where he transferred from.

"Yes, he does. Uriah and Zeke's mother, Hana, has helped him a great deal." That's a partial truth. "She's given him a lot of family recipes, the stew being one. Do you want to talk, party plan, or just relax and watch a movie?" She thinks for a moment before answering.

"I think I just want to relax and take my mind off of everything for a little while if you don't mind. I'll jot down my ideas for the party before we meet on Friday."

"You pick out a movie, and I'll put it in," I say. She picks a romantic comedy I've never seen before. I put it in the DVD player, and we spend the next two hours laughing at absurd situations the leads get themselves into and out of. When the end credits roll, I realize how much I thoroughly enjoyed that one. We decide to watch another movie, and being the gracious host I am, I once again let her pick. This time she picks a favorite of Tobias', an action-adventure movie that quickly loses my interest.

After about 30 minutes, I look over at her, and she's fast asleep, rolled up in a little ball in the oversized chair. I go upstairs to the closet in the spare room and get the fuzzy dark gray throw, which is the precise color of our furniture that Christina and Will gave us as a housewarming gift. I go back downstairs and gingerly place it over her, making sure not to wake her. I turn off the TV, eject the DVD, put it back into its holder, and slide it back onto the shelf. I check my phone for messages but there aren't any. I lounge on the couch with the book I've been reading. Soon I hear a light tap on the door. I jump up and softly pad over to the door to open it. A tall dark-skinned woman with short blue spikey hair and multiple rainbow-colored earrings is standing at the door with a bouquet of flowers.

"Delivery for Four," she says. I tell her Four isn't home but I'll sign for the flowers. I sign her tablet, add a point for a tip, and take the vase from her. I set the flowers in the middle of the island and stare at them. In front of me is a beautiful lead crystal vase full of multicolored pansies. I didn't send Tobias flowers so immediately I wonder who these are from. Reading the card momentarily enters my mind but that would be an invasion of privacy, and I trust Tobias completely.

I let Christina sleep while I ruminate over who could be sending Tobias flowers. I have my book open on my lap but I haven't looked at it in at least an hour. I know I'm obsessing but I can't help it. Although I trust him implicitly, I don't trust many other people, and I can't think of a single person who doesn't know he has a girlfriend. We were the subject of a lot of gossip when our relationship first came to light after initiation but it fizzled out quickly once everyone saw nothing untoward was happening. I find myself dissecting conversations and analyzing casual glances when my phone buzzes. It's a text message from Tobias asking where I am. I look over my shoulder at the clock and realize Christina and I are late for supper. I shoot him a text back telling him we'll be there shortly.

I get up and shake Christina lightly on the shoulder to wake her up. Finally her eyes flutter open, and she seems disoriented. Finally she comprehends she fell asleep during the movie. She sits up and stretches. Suddenly her hands fly to her abdomen.

"Are you okay," I ask her, alarm in my voice.

"Yes," she said. "I didn't mean to startle you. I just ... remembered."

"Well it's time for supper. Four texted me, and we're late." I remember my earlier texts to Tobias and Will and turn to Christina. "Crap, Christina! I told Will you were helping me with a project, and I told Four I had an emergency meeting in town. Why didn't I tell them the same thing? Stupid, stupid," I say under my breath admonishing myself.

"You can tell Four about our day once you get home tonight. I don't want you putting your relationship in jeopardy because of me," she says. "At supper if you wouldn't mind just saying we were planning the Christmas party. We technically did talk about it." She hugs me, comforting me. She is a great friend. "Did Four send you flowers? No offense but he doesn't seem like the type. I was shocked when he got you the jewelry."

"Actually someone sent them _to_ Four," I say.

" _Who_?" she asks.

"I don't know. I didn't want to read the card. I thought it would be invading his privacy."

"If someone sends Will flowers, I'm reading the card and hunting her ass down. I could look at the card," she says innocently.

"No," I say putting my hands on her back and steering her toward the door. "If we don't get to the cafeteria soon, they're going to send out a search party." She lets me drag her out of my apartment and down to the cafeteria. We talk about the party a little on the way. She really does have some great ideas. I know if I had to plan the party myself, it would never be as glamorous or memorable. I think I'll nominate Christina to be Dauntless' official party planner at my next meeting with Tori and Tobias. That'll give her a bump in pay for the work she does.

We walk into the cafeteria and straight to our table after we get our plates. I slide in beside Tobias, and Christina slides in beside Will. Everyone else is already close to finished with supper. I try to avoid Tobias' speculative side-ways glances. He knows something's up, but he won't say anything until we're alone. I take a bite of my hamburger and look at Christina. She's telling Will they'll talk later. Maybe something happened I don't know about as it seems like neither Tobias nor Will bought the excuses I sent to them earlier. Maybe that's just it, maybe they compared notes. I might be in trouble later. I try some friendly conversation to cut the silence.

I look directly at Tobias and say, "Someone sent you flowers today, any idea who?"

"Flowers?" he questions, surprise in his eyes. This tells me no one's ever sent him flowers before.

"Yeah. A big bouquet of beautiful pansies every color of the rainbow in a lead crystal vase."

"Pansies are a sign the sender is delivering loving thoughts," Will says. Everyone at the table stops what they're doing and looks his way. " _What_?"

"How do you know what flowers mean, man?" James asks dumbfounded.

"Erudite," he says pointing at himself with his left index finger. "Some things just stuck with me. My brain is full of useless facts." That answer elicits laughter from the entire table.

"Loving thoughts?" Uriah says stuffing another bite of cake in his mouth. "Sounds like you have a secret admirer, Four."

"Secret admirer," Tobias scoffs. "Yeah right. Which one of you idiots sent the flowers?" We all look at each other. I never thought about them being sent in jest. I like Uriah's theory. Tobias looks directly at me. "Did you?"

"No, I swear," I say, putting my right hand over my heart. "As a matter of fact, I spent a lot of time this afternoon wondering who did, so if it is anyone at this table, speak up now." I try out my best Four impersonation but it isn't very intimidating. I'm going to have to work on that. If the sender is at our table, they aren't say anything.

"So what were you two doing all afternoon?" Will finally asks after a lull in conversation, sending a shiver of ice down my spine.

"We were talking about the Christmas party," Christina says. Then turning her attention away from Will she adds, "Hey girls we get another shopping trip soon. We better do it before Tris goes to Amity next week." I notice Will and Tobias share an apprehensive look. Through the rest of supper the conversation is centered on the Christmas party, shopping, and the "Christina Experience," which is better than any of us expected. Even though I still don't like getting all dolled up – it _just_ isn't me – we all had such a good time before the last party we decide to do it again but this time at my place since Ciara, Ella, and Kirsten said they'll join us to get ready. There's more room and a built-in makeover station with the kitchen island. Soon Tobias leans over and puts his mouth next to my ear sending a jolt to the pit of my stomach.

"I think we should go home, Tris," he says before he kisses the valley right below my ear. I moan a little then blush bright red, hoping no one heard me. He gets up from the table expecting me to join him immediately but I linger at the table for a moment. I need to talk to Christina before I go.

"Why don't you go ahead, Four," I say over my shoulder looking at him. "I'll catch up with you in a minute." He gives me a suspicious look then turns and walks out of the cafeteria.

"Will, can you give Tris and me a minute?" Christina asks. When my eyes meet Will's, they have the same suspicion in them that Tobias' had a second ago. He nods and leaves the cafeteria. Soon we're sitting alone at our table.

I lean in close to Christina and say, "If you need _anything_ you know where I live. I'm here for you, both of you." I give her a quick hug then head off after Tobias.

I walk slowly up the steep path out of the Pit. Running straight toward me are two children about five or six years old. I look at the children and wonder what it will be like in a few years when Christina and Will are running after their little one. Three things happen at once: One, I step to the outside of the path to let the children pass me on the inside like I've done hundreds of time since joining Dauntless; two, I feel a sudden, crippling pain in my right ankle; and, three, I lose my balance. As I'm searching for something, _anything_ to balance myself, I realize I'm going to fall and let out a blood curdling scream.


	23. Chapter 23

I don't know if time moves slower or my mind works faster but I realize I'm not terribly far up the path but a fall even from this height would be extremely dangerous, maybe even fatal depending on how I land. I turn my body back toward the path as I fall and reach my hands out, grasping for anything. They catch the path, and I slam hard into the stone wall. Relief washes over me but then I start sliding backward, and I realize I'm going to fall anyway. I dig my fingers into the stone walkway as hard as I can, desperately trying to stop myself and soon find a fissure near the edge of the path that halts my descent. I try to pull myself up but something must have wrenched in my shoulders when I caught myself with my fingertips because pain shoots through my arms. I don't know how long I can hang here like this.

I can barely hear the panicked screams coming from the floor of the Pit over the hammering of my heart in my ears. All I can think of is Tobias, _my Tobias_ , and not wanting to leave him. Just then hands grasp my wrists and pull me up to the safety of the narrow path. I try to stand but my right ankle won't hold me, and I slide down the stone wall to sit down, adrenaline still coursing through my veins. I look up into my savior's face, and I can't hide my shock. He looks like an older version of Caleb, except with various tattoos scattered over his exposed skin, multiple facial and ear piercings, and dyed neon green highlights in dark brown hair.

"Are you alright, Tris?" he asks softly. I momentarily wonder how this familiar-looking stranger knows my name before remembering all Dauntless members know their leaders' names. My heart is still racing, and I just stare into his pale green eyes. Maybe I'm going into shock. "I think I need to get you to the infirmary."

He gently picks me up, cradling my back and my knees with his muscular arms. I bite my lip to keep from crying out from the pain radiating up and down my body when he moves me. He quickly maneuvers us through the crowd of worried Dauntless members down to the infirmary. He bursts through the closed double doors and everyone seems to turn to stone when they see me in his arms. Suddenly, chaos erupts around me. A nurse is shouting for a wheelchair, another is calling out for a doctor, someone else is asking what happened. I finally find my voice and ask someone, _anyone_ , to please get Four for me.

A striking looking, statuesque nurse with black scrubs, long curly purple hair, and a painful looking stud in her bottom lip brings a wheelchair, and my hero gently places me in it and steps out of the way. The nurse wheels me toward a private room where she helps me get undressed and into a sadistic-looking hospital gown. I argue with her, telling her I would rather stay in my clothes but she just continues undressing me like I never spoke. I sigh heavily trying to get my point across but it doesn't do any good. Finally, I'm in the gown sitting on the bed with a blanket I practically had to beg for across my lap. Apparently, most Dauntless members don't mind partial nudity, but I'm not one of them.

When the nurse turns to leave the room, I ask her to please get the name of the man who brought me in but he's gone when she goes back into the waiting room. I sit staring at the stark white walls waiting on the technician to do x-rays of my hands, shoulders, and right ankle when I hear Tobias in the waiting room. Someone must have told him he can't see me yet because I hear him roar that he is the leader of Dauntless, and he'll go any damn where he pleases.

The nurse who helped me get into this ridiculous gown pops her head into the room with a smirk on her face and asks, "Is that your boyfriend out there making a ruckus?" I nod to her.

"I really would like to see him, please. If you could bring him back here, I would appreciate it. If you don't, I'm sure he'll just cause a lot of trouble for all of you."

"Sure honey. I'll go get him for you." A moment later she arrives at my door with Tobias in toe. "Four, you can wait here," she says motioning to an uncomfortable looking black metal folding chair in the corner of the room. "I'm going to take Tris for her x-rays now. Can you behave if I leave you alone in here?" He slowly clenches both hands into fists and looks at her like he is going to attack at any moment.

"Can we have a moment please?" I ask. She seems totally unaware that I'm saving her life right now.

"Okay. _One_ minute. I'll be outside waiting to take you for your x-rays." When the nurse leaves the room, he rushes to my side. His hands hover over my body, not quite touching me.

"Are you alright? That's quite a bump there," he says motioning to my forehead. I don't even remember hitting my head. "What happened?" I relay the story of the kids on the path and losing my balance, of falling and my rescuer. He simultaneously seems thankful this unknown man was there to save me and upset with himself that he wasn't. The nurse comes back into the room and makes Tobias sit down in the chair then helps me into the wheelchair and wheels me away. I look over my shoulder as I exit the room to tell him I'll be right back but he isn't looking my way, and I see agony visible in his face, making my heart constrict.

The nurse takes me to another sterile-looking room with a large, clunky machine hanging from the ceiling and a metal table below it. She helps me out of the wheelchair and on to the examination table. A guy who looks no older than 12 years old with a bald head and various tattoos covering his skull walks into the room wearing black red-flame-covered scrubs, and I assume he's the technician. He introduces himself then puts a lead apron on me to protect me from the x‑rays. He puts me in several different acrobatic positions and takes numerous views of both my hands and my right ankle. He takes the lead apron off my chest, takes views of both my shoulders, and thanks me for my cooperation then has the nurse wheel me back to my room. She helps me back into bed like I'm some kind of invalid, and I grumble under my breath the whole time.

"You're not a very good patient now are you, Tris?" she says as she leaves the room. Tobias snickers at her comment, and I glower at him. He scoots his chair close to the bed making loud metal scraping sounds that hurt my ears and reaches for my hand but stops himself after glancing at them. I managed to rip several fingernails from their beds when I dug my fingers into the stone pathway.

"This isn't exactly what I had in mind for tonight," he softly says, cupping my cheek with his hand. I can't help myself and reach my hand up and cover his with mine. I try to ignore the spasm that goes through it but he sees the pain in my eyes and gently moves my arm back to my side.

"What did you have in mind for tonight, Four?" I ask. I doubt anyone is eavesdropping but in case, I use his public name.

"Well, I was going to ask you what you really did all day. I was prepared to seduce it out of you," he says smiling.

"Truth by seduction, that's a novel idea." I laugh then wince. Everything seems to hurt right now. "That wouldn't have been necessary though. I was prepared to tell you the truth the minute we got home. I just couldn't say anything in front of everyone." I look around and add in a whisper, "I'm not sure I should say anything here either."

"We'll talk about that later. Have they given you any pain medication, Tris?" he asks, sounding more like Four again. I shake my head, and he immediately gets up from his chair and leaves the room. I sigh. He's going to make a scene again, and I'm already being given too much attention for my liking. Soon he comes back into the room with a different nurse. She is a pleasant-appearing short woman with obviously premature gray hair. She looks totally out of place in Dauntless, except for her black scrubs and a small red heart tattoo on the inside of her right wrist. I believe she's the most normal-looking Dauntless I've ever seen.

"Four here tells me you're needing some pain medication. Can you tell me exactly where it hurts, Tris?" she asks. I take a deep breath and try to register exactly where the pain is.

"My right ankle, both my shoulders, my left hand worse than my right hand, and my left shin, which I don't remember hurting before," I say to her. "I also have a headache." She lifts the blanket that's draped over me to keep passersby from seeing my naked lower extremities to examine my left leg. She tells me the visual inspection is normal. Then she proceeds with the physical examination. First she has me move the hip, leg, knee, and ankle this way and that, always asking if anything hurt. Nothing did. Finally she gently puts her hands on my shin and lightly pushes in, asking if it hurts. I must have explained exactly where the pain was because with the first palpation, I nearly jump out of bed. Discomfort shoots from my shin down into my foot. She gives me a compassionate smile then returns the blanket to its original resting position.

"On a scale of 1-10, how bad is your overall pain, Tris? It's best to give an honest answer right now, don't try to minimize the pain just because we're in Dauntless." I don't want to sound like a coward but the pain is getting worse by the second.

"I would say right now it's a 6 but not that long ago it was a 5," I say. The nurse jots some notes down on the chart then leaves the room. Once she's gone, Tobias moves close to me. He tells me about his boring day watching the surveillance of the list names while absentmindedly running his fingers through my hair. About 10 minutes later the nurse comes back into the room with the wheelchair. I groan. This cannot be a good sign.

"We need to do some additional tests, Tris, before any pain medication can be administered," she says. I knew the wheelchair was a bad sign. I cross my arms over my chest pouting and Tobias chuckles. "The doctor has ordered a brain MRI since you're now complaining of a headache and a left leg x-ray because of the acute pain in your left shin. Also the doctor and radiologist consulted on your shoulder x-rays and need an MRI to rule out the presence of a tear in your left shoulder. Your right ankle has a severe sprain, but it's not broken. You do, however, have three hairline fractures in your left hand." She helps me sit up on the side of the bed then maneuvers the wheelchair so all I have to do is stand up, turn, and sit back down. That wasn't nearly as bad as it was earlier. I like this nurse much better.

She first takes me back to the x-ray room where the technician takes several views of my left leg. Then I'm whisked off to another procedure room where an MRI machine is located. The same technician administers the MRIs. First, he asks if I have any metal located anywhere on my body as body piercing is the norm here in my chosen faction. I tell him no after feeling my ears to confirm I'm not wearing earrings today. He makes me lie down on the narrow table and tells me to keep my eyes shut throughout the tests. The table slides me into the machine, and he tells me to stay very still. Loud banging noises start and stop indicating the machine is running and the various images are being captured. I disobey once and open my eyes and immediately wish I hadn't. The top of the machine is mere inches away from my face. Although I'm not claustrophobic, I don't like it, and I notice my heart rate rise. There's no way Tobias could do an MRI conscious. Once the tests are done, I'm wheeled to the bathroom after letting the nurse know I really needed to go then she takes me back to my room. This time Tobias is not waiting for me and disappointment spreads through me.

I lay in the hospital bed trying to ignore the throbbing pain when Tobias lightly knocks on the doorframe and says, "Are you up for a couple visitors? There are some people in the waiting room who want to see you."

"Is Christina out there?" I ask. He smiles at me and nods. I wonder if she gave Will her news yet. "I'd like to see her." He turns and disappears for a bit before returning with Christina at his side. She looks like she's been crying. Telling Will must not have gone very well.

"Four, can you leave us alone for a few minutes?" I say to him.

"Okay. I'll tell the nurse to let me know when your test results are in so I can be with you when they're delivered. I'll be in the waiting room if you need me." He lightly kisses the top of my head then walks out the door.

"Oh, Tris," Christina says. "I was so scared when I saw you hanging from that ledge. I thought you were going to fall." A few tears escape and slide down her cheeks. She was crying about me, not Will.

"I'm fine, Christina. Well mostly. I have a sprained ankle, which is what caused me to fall in the first place. I also have some hairline fractures in my left hand. They're checking my shoulders, left leg, and head as we speak. I just want to get out of this ridiculous hospital gown and go home. This is _not_ the night I envisioned with Four."

"I know. Pacing in the infirmary's waiting room all night isn't exactly how I thought I would spend tonight either."

"Have you told him?" I ask, not sure I should bring up the delicate subject or not.

"I was getting ready to when he saw you go over the side. I've never seen such panic on his face as I did in that moment. He loves you as much as I do." She leans in and hugs me without thinking, and I whimper in pain. She pulls back with a horrified look on her face. "Oh God, Tris. I am _so_ sorry."

"Don't worry about it. They still haven't given me anything for the pain. I think the infirmary is actually a torture chamber. Get beat up in initiation by a transfer twice your size, and they drug you up for days. Almost fall to your death in the Pit, and they let you lie here and suffer." I recognize I'm getting grumpy and sigh. "I'm sorry, Christina. I'm not in the best mood right now. Maybe you and Will should go and talk. I'm okay, I swear."

"I'm glad you are, Tris. Dauntless wouldn't be as fun without you here." She pats my cheek lovingly and turns to walk out of the room.

"Can you do me a favor?" I ask before she can get to the door. She turns and looks at me. "Can you tell Four to send everyone else home? I'm really not up for any more visitors. Tell him to let everyone know I'm sorry and I'll be fine. Then have him come back in here." I'm starting to whine, which even I can't stand.

"You got it, Tris. Feel better." I lie my head back on the pillow trying to envision that I'm at home in my big, soft, warm bed wrapped up in Tobias' strong, loving arms but the thin, lumpy mattress and flat pillow interrupt my fantasy. I groan. If they don't get me out of here soon, I'm not going to be held responsible for my actions. When I open my eyes, Tobias' face is hovering over me. I smile at him.

"Kiss me, Tobias," I whisper. He slowly lowers his lips to my lips keeping his eyes on mine. The kiss starts out slow but the intensity builds until he pulls away breathless. The emotion of the night comes crashing down on me, and tears I didn't know I was holding back start to flow.

"Hey, don't cry," he says wiping away my tears.

"I just want to go home," I say.

"Well I might be able to help you with that," comes a voice from the doorway. A tall good looking man with Dauntless flame tattoos circling his neck and black hair dressed all in black including a black lab coat walks into the room, stethoscope around his neck, and x-ray films in his hand. He walks over to the light board, which is next to my bed and inserts the first x-ray. "I'm Dr. Parrish, Tris. I've been told one of the nurses explained your right ankle is sprained. It is a severe sprain though. You will not be able to put any weight on it for at least a week, possibly longer. We will provide you with some crutches for ambulation.

"You have three hairline fractures in your left hand." He points them out to us on the x‑ray. "The nurse will be putting it in an air splint before you leave. I thought that would be less cumbersome than a plaster cast." He takes the hand x-ray off the light board and slides in one of the left leg films. "You have bruised the tibia in your left leg." He looks at his paperwork for a moment before continuing.

"You have a very mild concussion. Four, I would recommend you stay with her tonight, waking her up every couple of hours just to be on the safe side. If she has any repeated vomiting, confusion, agitation, slurred speech, excessive drowsiness, or you are unable to wake her, you bring her back here immediately.

"As for your shoulders, there are no visible tears on either the x-rays or MRI. That being said, you did do some serious damage to the tendons in both shoulders. It's my opinion as well as that of the radiologist we treat you for tendonitis.

"I am writing you a prescription for pain medication to be taken every six hours as needed, muscle relaxers to be taken twice a day, and anti‑inflammatories to be taken every six hours a needed. Don't skimp on the pain medication, Tris. Your body will heal faster if it isn't in pain. A side effect you can expect from both the pain medication and muscle relaxers is drowsiness. I recommend you don't fight the sleep. That is probably the best thing for you right now. I also recommend you ice your shoulders, hands, right ankle, and left shin to keep inflammation at bay. I will have the nurse come back in and bandage the fingers missing nails and administer your first dose of pain medication. I'm sorry we had to wait to see what kind of injuries we were dealing with, especially when you complained of a headache. Also, Tris, no work this week. Stay home and rest. No sex until I give my okay." My eyes widen and my face instantly goes red. "Come back Friday morning for a checkup. I might keep you off of work next week too. Any questions for me?"

Tobias and I both tell the doctor no and thank him. I'm told once the splint is put on and my first dose of medication is administered I can get dressed and go home. I have Tobias wait in the waiting room while the nurse helps me get dresses. This time I'm thankful for the help. It's tricky getting in and out of clothing with your hand in a splint. The nurse gives me crutches and written instructions of what the doctor told us. I stand up trying to figure out the best way to use the crutches with a broken hand when Tobias walks back into the room. He probably would have let me walk if I hadn't swayed a couple times when the medication kicked in. Tobias eases me into his arms and carries me back to our apartment but I fall asleep before we get there.


	24. Chapter 24

I wake up flat on my back in bed and groan. Bed still isn't as comfortable as it should be but it's getting better. I gently sit myself upright, gingerly scoot back to lounge against the headboard, and look around the room. It's 6:30 a.m. Friday morning. The week has gone by very fast, probably because I've slept most of the time. The first couple of nights I slept upright in the oversized club chair in our living room because I couldn't get comfortable in bed. Tobias had carried me straight up to our bedroom from the infirmary Monday night and carefully put me to bed but I woke up almost instantly, my shoulders screaming at me. He had to carry me back downstairs and sit me in the chair. He propped pillows around my head, and I fell back to sleep immediately. He woke me every two hours just as the doctor ordered, and I gave him hell each time. I just wanted to sleep, and I let him know that quite loudly in my drug-induced state. Once I became more coherent, I apologized for my bad behavior but he just brushed it off and kissed the top of my head.

Tobias stayed home with me after my accident making sure I didn't have to do anything on my own. An orderly from the infirmary finally delivered my crutches after multiple calls to Tobias. He refused to leave my side to go get them. He has had Christina come over and help me in the shower and get dressed each day, which I thanked them both for repeatedly. I was not ready to have him help me in the shower. Honestly, I feel uncomfortable being so helpless in front of Christina. On Tuesday, while we were locked away in my bathroom, she told me she gave Will her news, and although he was shocked, he's onboard with having the baby. They are even talking about moving in together. I told her I would look into bigger places for them once I get back to work.

I'm taking the medication exactly as the doctor prescribed, which means I've been sleeping the days away. I tried to force my eyes to stay open so I could enjoy all the extra time with Tobias but it didn't work, and I'd find myself dreaming again. I would occasionally wake up feeling like I was walking naked through a blizzard and find Tobias diligently moving ice packs from one injury to the next. I remember waking up once, mumbling, "Why couldn't I have fallen in the summertime when the ice would have felt good," then promptly falling back to sleep to the sound of his soothing laughter.

I look toward the clock again and see Christina will be here shortly to help me through my morning routine so I can go to my doctor's appointment at 8:00 a.m. I'm more alert this morning because I'm not having to use as much pain medication as I was the first few days. The pain in my right hand and head is entirely gone. I have a huge black and purple bruise on my left shin to go with the bruised bone. The ice and anti-inflammatories have helped that tremendously. I imagine that pain should be gone within the next week or so. My shoulders still ache as does my ankle. I've been meticulous about not putting any weight on my right leg, so I don't know exactly how it's healing. I soon hear footsteps coming up the stairs and see Christina and Tobias coming toward me from the hallway.

"Well look who's awake," Christina cheerfully says. Am I the only one who hates mornings?

"I'm not taking as much pain medication, so I'm feeling more like myself. Thanks again for doing all this for me," I bashfully say.

"After the baby's born, I expect the same kind of treatment from you," she laughs. My eyes fly to Tobias'. I never told him about Christina and Will's baby but this statement doesn't take him by surprise. "I told him about the baby, Tris. I figured you never got to it the night of your accident, and I was right. I didn't want our little deception from that day adding to his stress." She really is a good friend. Her statement brings back something I haven't thought about all week.

"Four, did you find out who sent you those flowers?"

"No," he says shaking his head at me.

"Did the card say who they were from?" I ask. A strange look crosses his face so quickly I think I must be imagining it before a comforting smile settles on his lips.

"It wasn't signed," he says. He walks to my side and pulls the covers back then carefully picks me up to take me to the bathroom. I notice Christina rummaging through my drawers trying to pick out an acceptable outfit by her standards. I swear she would dress me in pushup bras and spike heels if she could get by with it.

"Comfortable clothes, Christina," Tobias says following my glance. She groans and mumbles under her breath about fashion failures. I smile at him and place a quick kiss on his lips. It's been so long since I've been able to wrap my arms around him. I miss it so much. I sigh. He looks in my eyes and his expression seems to mirror mine.

"I miss you, Tobias," I whisper.

"I know exactly what you mean," he says as he places his lips back to mine. We get lost in each other until Christina clears her throat. We unwillingly break apart, and he sits me down on the toilet then leaves the bathroom, closing the door behind him. She shakes her head at me.

"I thought I was going to have to turn a hose on you two to get you to break apart," she laughs. I glower at her. "What?"

"This has been a rough week," I say. "That's the first time he's _really_ kissed me since I got out of the infirmary. Even though he's been beside me practically every minute for four days, I miss him. I know it sounds absurd but it's true."

"I'm sorry, Tris. I didn't mean to tease. I can't imagine what this has been like for both of you. Shall we get you ready for your doctor's appointment?"

"It's okay, Christina. I'm just a little cranky." As I'm carefully balancing myself on my sore left leg on the slippery tiles of the shower floor, I remind her we have a meeting after lunch to finalize the Christmas party.

"Are you sure Four will let you work?" I really hadn't thought about that.

"I'll get him to go to the office while we party plan. That way he can get out of the house for a few hours. I know he has to be feeling as cooped up as I do. I swear I would just love to go outside and sit." I look at her, excitement in my eyes. "Let's go sit outside and plan the party."

"Only if Four helps you up and down the stairs. I will not be held responsible if something happens to you again." After I finish in the shower and she helps me into my clothes, she goes and gets Tobias. He carries me down the stairs and gently deposits me on the couch.

"Christina and I have a scheduled meeting after lunch today," I say to him. He looks at me suspiciously.

"You aren't supposed to work this week, doctors' orders."

"It's just a party planning meeting," I pout. I'm getting very good at getting my way by pouting at him.

"Tris, I'm not sure that's such a good idea."

"I'll make you a deal, Four," I say, "if Dr. Parrish says I can have my meeting with Christina will you go to the office for a few hours to get yourself out of this house? You know it'll do you some good." He stares into my eyes for a long minute.

"Okay. _If_ the doctor okay's it, I'll leave you and Christina here for the afternoon to party plan." I see Christina start to say something, but I shake my head at her. I'll bring up my outside plan to the doctor to get his okay so Tobias can't argue with me. I thank Christina with a hug and tell her I'll call her to let her know if the meeting will be with me or Tori. She leaves and Tobias scoops me up in his arms and carries me to the infirmary. We pass several well‑wishers, and I blush a deeper red with every regard.

We enter the familiar waiting room of the infirmary, and my first nurse from Monday night, I now see her name is Emily, greets us and immediately takes us to an open examination room. Tobias sits me down on the table then sits in an available chair in the room absentmindedly rubbing his arms.

"Are your arms hurting?" I ask him. He looks at me curiously. "You're rubbing them. They have to be sore after carrying me around all week. I'm so sorry. I wish I weren't so clumsy."

"Will you stop apologizing, Tris. I'm happy to do it."

"I know you're happy to do it, but that doesn't mean I can't and don't feel bad about it," I say crossing my arms over my chest, puffing all the air out of my lungs.

"Emily was right, you're not a very good patient, Tris," says Dr. Parrish's familiar voice from the doorway. Tobias and I both look at him. I sigh.

"I don't like having to be taken care of," I say, putting my arms back in my lap.

"Plus she's been a remarkably good patient this week, especially when she's asleep," Tobias jokes. I roll my eyes at him.

"So, Tris, what is your pain level today?" I think carefully before I answer.

"My overall pain is probably a 3/10. My right hand and head no longer hurt at all. I can't tell if my ankle or shoulders hurt worse. They all seem to throb nonstop. My left hand doesn't hurt while I'm wearing the splint but when I take it off to shower, it throbs also."

"Okay. Let's take a look then," he says. He does a thorough examination of all my injuries making everything hurt just a bit worse than when I came in. "Things are progressing very well, Tris. I'm still concerned about the ankle though. I don't want you putting any weight on it until your next visit," he says looking at the paperwork in his hand. "I would like to see you back next ... Friday." I'll miss my Amity meeting, which isn't necessarily a bad thing but I'm supposed to pick up Tobias' Christmas present from the artist Gunner.

"What about work?" I ask. Before I let him speak, I continue. "I had a previously scheduled meeting for today after lunch to plan the Christmas party. Would it be okay if I keep this meeting?" _Please let him say yes_ , I think to myself.

"Today's meeting is fine but take it easy and that's it."

"Do you think it would be okay if I were to take the meeting outside? I've been cooped up all week and I'm going stir crazy." I glance at Tobias, and he's giving me a dirty look. Dr. Parrish is quiet for a moment.

"I would like you to stick to your apartment until your next appointment. I actually would like to keep you off work through your next appointment as well." He looks to Tobias. "Is this causing a hardship?" Tobias shakes his head.

"Not at all. If I'm needed, Tori calls me. I just want Tris to get better," he says. I smile at him. I want that too.

"How are your medications? Are you tolerating them okay? Do you have enough to last until your next appointment?" I can't answer the question about how many are left because Tobias has been doling out the medication. Thankfully he answers for me.

"She has plenty of medication left, Dr. Parrish," Tobias says.

"I haven't had any side effects except for sleeping all the time but that isn't as bad since I've stopped taking as many pain pills," I say.

"Here are some exercises I would like you to start for your shoulders," he says handing me a color pamphlet. "It is imperative you start out slowly. One set of 10 reps three times a day for the first three days, then increase to two sets of 10 reps three times a day. You can overwork the muscles and tendons in your shoulders that are still healing and set back your progress. Sometimes less is more. Do you understand?" I nod my head at him. "I will see you back here next Friday at 8 a.m." He pauses and looks at my chart again. "Just a recap, no weight on your right ankle. Continue the muscle relaxers twice a day and anti-inflammatories every six hours. Take the pain medication on an as-needed basis but no sooner than six hours apart. Continue icing the way you have been doing. Start the shoulder exercises today with two sets of 10 reps. I would still hold off on sex until the next appointment. Do either of you have any questions for me?" Both Tobias and I blush and shake our crimson-colored heads at the doctor. Tobias then swiftly picks me up off the examination table and carries me back to our apartment.


	25. Chapter 25

Tobias gently sits me down in the middle of the couch then kisses the top of my head before turning toward the kitchen to make us breakfast. I call Christina and let her know our meeting is still on for this afternoon but it has to be in the apartment. When I hang up the phone Tobias tells me it's time for some pain medication but I don't want to sleep the day away so I tell him I'll take it later. I think he'll argue with me but he holds his tongue.

Soon he's handing me a glass of freshly squeezed orange juice and a plate filled with steaming fluffy scrambled eggs, crispy bacon, fresh fruit salad drizzled with yogurt and honey, and wheat toast with honey butter. I'm not exactly sure what it is he does to eggs but they are delicious, and I can never duplicate them. I eat quickly realizing I slept through supper again last night. I've missed more meals than I've eaten this week. Soon my plate is empty, and I watch as Tobias finishes his breakfast and drinks his orange juice. I reach for mine and drink it down in three or four gulps then I settle back into the couch. Soon his eyes meet mine.

"Do you need something?" he asks.

"Yes," I say calmly, moving his now empty plate and juice glass to the end table with mine. "You." He tenses up as I carefully turn my body and put both my legs across his lap then lie back pulling him down with me. He relaxes and moves his body, carefully avoiding my legs so he's half sitting, half lying on the couch making sure I don't feel any of his weight. I reach up with my right hand and pull his mouth to mine. The kiss starts out slow and pleasant, tasting of fresh oranges but quickly builds in intensity until it's fevered and full of desire. He opens my mouth with his and lets his tongue slide along my bottom lip before mating it with my tongue. I playfully bite his lower lip as he pulls back to let us breathe. I lightly rest my broken hand on his back and wrap my right arm around his neck and pull him as close as I can returning his mouth to mine. I kiss him hungrily, letting all my longing out. He kisses me just as fiercely letting his need show. He moves his left hand and tangles his fingers in my loose hair and gently pulls my head back exposing my throat. He moves his mouth to my neck placing teasing kisses and licks everywhere, causing my heart to beat even faster. My breath is coming quicker, and I moan when I feel his other hand on my bare stomach. It's leisurely roaming up my ribcage toward my chest. He slows the ascent of his hand momentarily as he moves his mouth back to mine. He kisses me slowly, exploring my mouth with his tongue then moves his hand to caress the side of my breast through my lacy bra.

Suddenly there's loud pounding at the door, and I groan into his open mouth. He pulls back and removes his hand from under my shirt. We extricate ourselves from each other's limbs, and he goes to answer the door. A panicked Tori is standing in the hallway. She pushes past Tobias and into our living room.

"Four, Tris! I'm sorry to bother you but we have a problem," she says animatedly. My slowing heart rate picks up speed again. "There has been another assault, this time in a dark hallway here in the compound. The victim is on the first list again and..." She stops, hatred filling her eyes. "There's a possibility she was sexually assaulted." I gasp in horror, my hands involuntarily moving up to cover my mouth.

"What's her name," Tobias says, immediately taking on his Four persona.

"Ivy Stevenson," she says. "Some members found her in the resident's wing and took her to the infirmary. I haven't confirmed it with the doctor but it sounds like her injuries are just as extensive as Daniel Parks' were."

"Why is sexual assault suspected?" I ask, not sure I actually want to know.

"Her clothing had been torn away," Tori says, anger coloring her face. "Four, I need you today."

"Go, Four," I say. "I'll call Christina and have her come over." Tobias looks like he's going to argue with me. "Really, I'm okay. Just give me my crutches so I can get around. Go. Dauntless needs you right now."

He brings me my crutches and kisses me lightly on the mouth then says in my ear, "We'll pick up where we left off later." I blush crimson remembering the feel of his hands on me.

"I love you, Four. Please be careful," I say as they head out the door.

"I love you," he says before closing and locking the door behind him.

I call the infirmary and tell them Tobias and Tori are on their way and to have a written, detailed account of Ivy's injuries for them when they arrive. Then I call Christina and ask her to come over early. I tell her briefly about why Tobias needed to leave, and she tells me she'll be over as soon as she finishes unpacking a shipment of dresses at the boutique. Lastly, I call Zeke telling him to get ahold of Tobias because there's been another assault, and he needs to start going over the surveillance footage as soon as possible. I may not be able to physically participate in this emergency but I'll do everything within my power to help. I do the shoulder exercises Dr. Parrish gave me while I wait for Christina. Soon she's knocking at the door, and I manage to hobble over to open it for her.

"Have you had an update on the girl?" she asks as she walks through the door.

"No, Four hasn't called or texted. I have a feeling he'll be gone the rest of the day. Did you have any problems getting off of work?" I ask already knowing the answer.

"No. It helps when your best friend is one of the Dauntless leaders and that's who you're going to see. What do you want to do?" she asks.

"Do you mind if we go over the party planning early. I haven't taken any pain medication yet, and I'm really starting to feel uncomfortable," I confide. "I was afraid if I took it while I was waiting on you I'd fall asleep and you wouldn't be able to get in. I should get you a key. Remind me of that."

"Don't wait to take your medication on my account. I already have the party planned out." Of course she does. She gets up and goes to the counter in the kitchen where my medication sits and brings it to me with a glass of water.

"I want to hear what you have planned, except for the decorations. I know you like to keep them a surprise," I say taking the bottle and the glass from her. "I have about 10‑15 minutes after I take this before I fall asleep." I chase the pill with the entire glass of water.

"I asked around about past Christmas parties and got some great ideas. It'll be semiformal, not black tie like the welcome party was, so we don't have to get ball gowns just party dresses. The menu will be a lot like our Thanksgiving menu but with a few additions like honey baked ham."

"Are we having sweet potato casserole like at Thanksgiving?" I ask excitedly. "That was one of the best tasting things I've _ever_ had in my life. You know how much Uriah loves cake? _That_ is how much I loved that casserole." She rolls her eyes at me.

"I'll add it to the menu," she says. I clap my hands together.

"Yet another perk of being a leader," I say, yawning. The pain medication is kicking in already. "I feel like all I've been doing is sleeping. I'm sorry I'm not going to be better company today. Feel free to use the DVD player and watch whatever you want. Also the kitchen is fully stocked, eat whatever you want. Could you help me to the bathroom? I'm feeling a bit wobbly already." I get my crutches off the floor and get to my feet. I let her steady me as I make my way to the little powder room tucked into the corner of the room. After I'm finished I go to the loveseat and lie down flat on my back with my right leg propped up on the arm. Christina gets the ice pack out of the freezer and places it on my ankle then places the throw over me to try to keep me warm. I tell her to move the ice pack every 15 minutes to one of the places on the chart Tobias made. I start to tell her something else but my words slur so bad I give up and fall into sleep.

I wake up to a gentle swaying motion and realize Tobias is carrying me up the stairs to put me in bed. I smile into his shoulder then lift my head and look at him.

"Can I go to the bathroom first?" I ask him sleepily.

"Of course." He stops at the bathroom and sits me down on my left leg. He lets go of me but I sway, and he grabs ahold of me. "Tris, are you going to be okay to do this by yourself?" I have to be unless I want to pee in front of him. I blink my eyes a couple times to shake off the sleep and put my arms out to steady myself.

"I think I'm okay now," I say. He reluctantly lets me go, and I stay in one place. He leaves the bathroom, and I relieve myself. When I'm done I call out for him, and he helps me into bed. Instead of lying down I sit with my back against the headboard.

"Tobias?" I ask. He turns my way and comes and sits on the bed beside me. "What happened with that girl today?"

"Why don't we talk about that in the morning?" he says.

"I'm awake now unless you're wanting to go to sleep," I say.

"I'm not sure I'll be sleeping anytime soon," he says under his breath.

"That bad?" I ask.

"I thought Daniel's injuries were bad. They really were nothing compared to Ivy's, but there was no sexual assault. It's my opinion either her attackers were interrupted or they tore her clothes off to humiliate her when she was found." He looks drained but continues. "Thank you for your assistance by the way. Zeke called and got on the surveillance footage right away, and when Tori and I walked into the infirmary I was handed a detailed account of her injuries. I'll spare you the list. The doctors went above and beyond tonight. They pulled the evidence from Daniel's case and compared it to the evidence collected from Ivy, and it has been determined the same two men are the assailants. If we ever get suspects, we can compare their DNA with that of the collected DNA, and we'll have them dead to rights."

"Did Zeke find anything?"

"We have footage of two men dressed head to toe in black leaving the scene at the approximate time of the attack but we never get a clear look at their faces so we don't know who they are."

"Is there any way to get identifying features like height or weight from the video?" I ask yawning once again. I can't believe after sleeping all day I'm still tired.

"I have Zeke working on that," he says. "You should let me get you your medicine and then go to sleep. We can talk about this in the morning." He reaches out cupping my face, and I lean into him.

"I'm tired of sleeping," I say. "God I'm whiny. Even I hate the sound of my voice right now." He laughs lightly.

"Tris, you're healing. You need your rest." He lightly places his lips to mine and kisses me. This kiss is not laced with the desire and want of this morning's but I can feel the love he has for me pour into it and I sigh.

"Okay, Tobias Eaton. I'll bow to your judgment, _just this once_. Bring me my medicine, and I'll go to sleep." He laughs as he gets up and heads toward the door. "Tobias?" He turns at the sound of his name. "I love you, and thank you for taking such good care of me this week even when I know I had to be hard to live with. You're a good man, don't ever doubt that."

I wake lying on the loveseat in the living room with my right ankle propped up on the arm. I look around disoriented. I could have sworn that when I went to sleep last night I was upstairs in my bedroom and not in the living room. Maybe that was all a dream and Tobias hasn't gotten home yet. I sit up and look around. He's standing in the kitchen wearing nothing but his sleep pants, pouring himself a cup of coffee. I fill my eyes with the site of his perfect body, longing to get my hands on him.

"Stop staring, Tris," he says, his back still to me, bringing the coffee mug to his lips.

"If you don't want me to stare, Tobias, may I suggest putting on a shirt?" I say. He turns around with a smile on his face.

"Coffee?" he asks me. I nod. Caffeine might actually wake me up. I turn my body placing my legs on the floor making room for him next to me. He pours another cup then turns off the coffeemaker and walks toward me. He hands me the steaming mug as he sits down on the loveseat next to me. "How are you feeling today? Christina tells me you were restless yesterday as you slept." I take a quick inventory of my injuries trying to figure out how I feel.

"I actually feel pretty good this morning," I say, amazement ringing in my voice. "All the sleep yesterday must have really helped. So tell me about yesterday, all the details you left out last night. I need to know, Tobias." He looks deep in my eyes for a moment, sighs, and then looks straight ahead.

"The doctor called me this morning and told me Ivy didn't make it. She died from the head injuries she sustained. Whoever these ... _maniacs_ are, it's been confirmed they've killed three people now." _Three_? "I had the doctor pull the evidence from George and Amar's autopsies, and the DNA matched those cases also. We have two serial killers roaming Dauntless killing Divergents."


	26. Chapter 26

My entire body goes cold like someone replaced all the blood in my circulatory system with ice cold water. The thought of a serial killer in Dauntless is bad enough but _two_ serial killers. I know my name is on the shrinking list of potential targets but that isn't what I fear most. The name of the person I love most in this world is also on that same list. I can't let myself think of someone hurting him. Hurting him would hurt me and killing him ... killing _him_ would kill _me_.

"What can we do?" I ask, putting my good hand on his shoulder. He returns his tired eyes to mine and lies his hand on my thigh.

"I'm not sure. I've actually been thinking about adding more leaders but I would have to trust them implicitly, and there aren't many people here in Dauntless I trust even a little, especially now."

"What can I do, Tobias?" I ask. There _has_ to be something I can do.

"You can stay safe," he says leaning over and placing his lips lightly to mine. Too soon he pulls away. "I don't want you to go anywhere alone. In fact, I don't want you here alone either." I shouldn't need a babysitter at 16 years old but I understand his fears, they're the same as mine.

"I don't want you alone either. What about the others on the list, Tobias. We need to warn them somehow. They aren't safe. What if we talk to Daniel or Hana to see if we can get them to confirm they're Divergent? I don't know if proving the names on the list have a commonality will help us or not but we need to do something before someone else gets hurt or worse." He gently pulls me into his arms, ever aware of my injuries. I lie my head against his chest trying to ignore the throbbing in the shoulder lying against his muscled body. "Do you have to go to work today?" Part of me doesn't want to give up time with him, but I know the fact a Dauntless member was killed trumps my selfish feelings.

"I think I need to get my face out in front of people to let them know I'm still here even if it's just for a few hours. I don't think the timing of this attack is a coincidence, Tris," he says, anger sounding in his voice. "I think they took advantage of your accident and our absence to make their move. They are smart, _too_ smart and dangerous. That's a deadly combination." I shiver. "I'll make breakfast. Why don't you give Christina a call and give her a heads up. I don't want any of our friends going anywhere alone either. They could be targeted simply because of their association with us."

I call Christina and give her the unfortunate news about Ivy. I then ask her to have Will walk with her when she comes over later. I also ask her to relay to the rest of the table that it's best not to go anywhere alone for the immediate future. I try to downplay the danger but I'm scared for my friends and especially for Tobias.

He serves me blueberry pancakes with whipped cream this morning, and I eat them, barely registering the taste. The last thing I remember eating was yesterday morning's breakfast. I make a vow to myself to try my best to stay awake today. I take the anti-inflammatories and muscle relaxers Tobias brings me with a glass of water but I refuse the pain pill. He tries to talk me into it but right now the pain isn't bad. I promise him if the pain increases I'll take one.

After he's done with breakfast, he excuses himself and goes upstairs to get ready for work. I lounge on the couch trying to read the book I was reading before my accident but I don't get past the first page thinking about all that's happened in the past week. This isn't the first time this week I've wondered why my hero left without giving anyone his name. Didn't he think I would want to thank him properly? Plus why does he look so much like my brother right down to their matching eyes. I've kept this information to myself, although I'm not sure why. I guess I feel once I see him in person again he won't resemble my family as much as I think he does. Soon a loud knock at the door brings me out of my reverie. I try to get up to answer the door but Tobias comes bounding down the stairs to do it. He opens the door to find Will and Christina.

"Come in," he says to them. He steps aside and lets them enter then closes and locks the door behind them. "Sit down. I've made an important decision, and it's going to impact you directly, Will," he says. He sits down next to me, turning his body slightly to face Will. Will has a reserved and somewhat shocked look on his face. Although he's one of my best friends, I don't think he and Tobias have had more than two conversations in the time we've all known each other.

"What is this about, Four?" Will asks.

"I take it Christina told you about the death we had in Dauntless last night?" Will nods. "We found out it's directly related to the assault on Daniel Parks that happened the week Tori, Tris, and I became leaders." Will, Christina, and I all gasp at Tobias' statement, me because I cannot believe he just told them a very sensitive secret and them because of pure shock. "Before I explain everything to you and Christina, I need to know I can trust you, Will." He pauses for a moment to let the statement sink in. "I need to know if I put my faith in you, you won't break that trust. You have to know what's holding me back."

"Erudite ... I was Erudite," Will says shakily.

"That's exactly right. After what happened with Erudite trying to take over Abnegation and enlisting our old leaders to make it happen, how can I trust that faction, and you were born into that faction. I need to know where your loyalties lie." Tobias gets up and starts pacing back and forth. I wish I could get up and go to him but I'm trapped where I sit by my stupid ankle.

"I'm loyal to Dauntless, Four. The moment I cut my hand at the Choosing Ceremony and let my blood drip onto the sizzling coals, I cut ties with Erudite," Will says. "There's a small part of me that will always carry what I learned from my old faction with me like I'm sure all transfers would tell you, if they felt they could be honest, but I would die for Dauntless." Tobias stops pacing and looks at Will. The minutes tick by then he sits back down beside me and nods his head.

"Here's my offer, Will. Dauntless leadership," he says. I honestly wasn't expecting that but he's made a good choice in Will.

"Leadership?" Will repeats, astonished. I remember Will voicing a desire for leadership during initiation, which seems like a lifetime ago. I never told Tobias that. "You want me to be a leader?"

"Yes, I do. What do you think, Tris?" Tobias says turning to me. All eyes move to mine. I don't have to think long about my answer.

"I think Will's an excellent choice, Four," I say looking into Tobias' eyes. Then I look toward Will and Christina. "Will, you have the strong character, drive, fearlessness, and caring nature to make a great leader. You're trustworthy, confident, honest, hardworking, compassionate, supportive, and self-aware. Yes, you'll be an ideal leader." I can't help but notice the pride in Will's eyes and the tears in Christina's.

"If you want it, the job is yours, Will. There are a few things you should know about the job. It comes with a substantial raise and a new apartment right here in this hallway." Tobias takes a deep breath before he continues. "There are two killers hunting ... we aren't sure exactly _who_ they're hunting. That's something Tori, Tris, and I have been working on since we were made leaders. The details are something I'll share with you if you take the position. I hate to force you to make a hasty decision but I need your answer right away. Tris and I can go upstairs and let you and Christina talk about this if you would like." Will looks at Christina.

"This has to be your decision, Will," she says holding his hand in hers. "Just know I'm behind you whatever you decide. By the way, I agree with everything Tris said. You would make a great leader. I've thought that ever since I met you." He caresses her cheek and leans over and gives her a quick kiss.

"Thanks, Christy," he quietly says. Tobias and I look at each other. _Christy?_

"I'll give you my answer now, Four. Yes," Will says getting up from the couch and walking over to shake Tobias' hand.

"And you never heard him call me Christy, you both got that," Christina says pointing her finger at both of us menacingly. We all laugh heartily.

"Do you two want to check out the apartments while I'm still here with Tris?" Tobias says. Will and Christina nod in unison, and he walks over to the counter where a small black metal box sits. He opens the padlock on the box and takes out the keys for apartments 12, 14, and 15. He hands them to Will and tells them to look over each apartment and let him know which one they want. About a half-an-hour later they come back, excitement on both their faces.

"We decided on apartment 14," Will says. Christina comes and sits down next to me.

"It's official. I'm moving in with Will. We're going to be neighbors, Tris!" she excitedly says giving me a big hug. Once her mind catches up with her actions, she freezes and pulls back. "I'm so sorry. Are you okay?"

"That didn't even hurt. I'm getting better," I announce to whoever is listening in the apartment. Tobias winks at me from across the room then turns his attention back to Will.

"Did you have any plans today, Will, or can you start right away? There are a lot of things to go over with you. Plus I would like to formally introduce you to Tori."

"I definitely can start right now. Christina, please don't go anywhere until I come back to get you."

"I won't. Tris and I will be right here." Tobias walks over to me and kisses me quickly as Will is kissing Christina then they head out the door.

"What's this about two killers hunting in Dauntless, Tris? Should I be worried?" Christina asks me once the guys leave us alone. I have to make the decision on how much to tell her. There are no rules I have found that prohibits leaders from telling sensitive information to their significant others so Will more than likely will tell her anyway. I decide to tell her, especially since some of the information pertains directly to me and my divergence. I just don't know how to start.

"I'll tell you everything you want to know, but I don't know where to start, Christina," I say, noticing her impatience.

"How about the beginning?" she says. I tell her about the well-hidden secret files Tobias found on Max's old computer shortly after we became leaders and the two lists of names that were created by Eric. I divulge how Daniel and Ivy's names are on that first list of names. I then continue telling her Daniel's girlfriend, Samaire's name is on the second list. I also inform her that for every name on the first list, there's a corresponding initiate classmate on the second list. I continue with the story revealing to her two names were erased from the list after their deaths, and now there is DNA evidence connecting George Wu, Tori's brother, and Amar Atwood, Four's mentor, deaths to Ivy's death and Daniel's assault.

"Is there something the people on the first list have in common?" she asks after a lengthy silence.

"We honestly don't know if there's a connection or not but we have a theory because of a few names on the list," I say not quite ready to divulge my divergence. Christina is actually only the third person I will disclose my divergence to. "What do you know about Divergents, Christina?"

"My mom told me about them when I was little. They're supposed to have special powers," she says, "but I don't think they actually exist."

"Actually, Divergents are very real," I say. I see shock and fear cross her face. "The definition of Divergent is extremely simple. It means having the aptitude for more than one faction, nothing scary. As a matter of fact, I had never even heard the word until the day of my aptitude test ... when my test results came back as inconclusive."

"Inconclusive? That's impossible, Tris. What does that even mean?" she asks.

"Remember when we talked about killing the dog in the simulation, and I confessed I didn't and my test results were Abnegation. That wasn't entirely true. Yes, I got the aptitude for Abnegation but I also got Dauntless and Erudite. I could as easily fit into Abnegation or Erudite as I do here. Christina, _I'm_ Divergent, and my name is on the dwindling list of names that has been targeted by these killers."


	27. Chapter 27

" _Divergent_ , Tris?" I can hear the fear in her voice. It's going to be hard to dispel a lifetime of conditioning that Divergents are something to fear or the belief they aren't even real.

"Christina, I'm the same Tris I was an hour ago. The same person who jumped off the train onto the roof of Dauntless with you the first day. The same person who accompanied you to your doctor's appointment earlier this week when you found out you were pregnant. You just now know my most closely guarded secret. Something I was told to absolutely never tell anyone else, _ever_. Divergents are _not_ a danger to others, they are _in_ danger because of others. They're being killed because of who they are and because of the fear associated with them. I think all the names on the first list are Divergents, but without asking everyone on the list to divulge a closely guarded secret and getting an honest response, which is doubtful, there's no way to know for sure."

"You said there's a classmate on the second list? Who?" she asks.

"I'm sure you can guess," I say with spite in my voice as I think of Peter and his hateful nature.

"Peter?" she asks, hitting the nail on the head.

"That didn't take you very long to figure out," I say with a humorless laugh.

"Wait, Tris. You said _names_ on the list. Who else is on the list you know for sure is Divergent?" she asks, fear being replaced by Erudite-like intrigue. Will must be rubbing off on her. This is a harder secret to share because it isn't mine but it will shortly be made known to Will that Tobias' name on that list.

"Tori revealed to me during initiation that her brother, George, was Divergent. She administered my aptitude test and is the one who told me about Divergents in the first place. She has helped me a lot since I got here," I say. I take a breath before I continue. "Uriah's mother, Hana, is on the list also, which raised our suspicions because Uriah's Divergent. Four's mentor and initiation instructor, Amar, was Divergent, too. Four's also on the list," I add softly. She is very quiet for a while, letting the new information sink in.

"Four and Uriah, too," she says, worry and shock on her face. "I guess being apprehensive of Divergents my entire life has been meaningless because with the exception of Four, who is intimidating by nature, there isn't a single reason to be afraid of you or Uriah, unless you try to take away his Dauntless cake. That would be deadly!" We laugh together, letting the tension ease.

"To answer your earlier question though, try not to worry, Christina. It isn't good for the baby. Just be vigilant. Don't let yourself be alone. If you see anything and I mean _anything_ out of the ordinary, tell Will, Four, Tori, or me. You could also tell Zeke. He knows about a lot of this since he's head of the control room. I would like to say this is the last we'll see of these killers but I don't think it is." Just then there's a knock on the door making us both jump. Then we laugh at ourselves for being on edge because of the conversation as she goes to answer the door. She opens it, and all I can see is what I believe is a tree taking up the entire doorway.

"Delivery for Four and Tris," comes an invisible man's muffled voice. If this is another item from his "secret admirer" it's getting out of hand. Who sends trees to people? Christina looks back over her shoulder to say something to me but stops when she sees the look on my face.

"Seriously, Tris! Where do you want your Christmas tree?" she asks, dismayed I don't seem to grasp the reason a tree is being delivered to my apartment.

"Christmas tree?" I ask. I've never heard of a Christmas tree before. She frowns and shakes her head at me.

"Set it up in front of the window in the open space before the stairway," she hollers to the voice in the hallway, taking over for me. I watch as the tree squeezes through the almost too narrow doorway. Once the two delivery men dressed in black maintenance overalls get it inside, one holds the tree up while the other sets a large round plastic disc the color of the tree with metal screws down on the floor. Then the two men lift the tree and secure it into place in the plastic disc with the screws. While the first man holds the tree in place, the other goes to my kitchen faucet and fills what looks like a flexible plastic bag with a nozzle on one end with water and takes it to the disc and drains the water into it. Then they cut the straps around the tree and the branches spring free, stretching out of their bindings. The tree towers over me at approximately six-and-a-half-to-seven-feet-tall and has to be at least as wide around at the bottom. I sit staring at the beautiful site in front of me barely registering the conversation going on behind me.

"I signed for the tree and gave them each a point tip for delivering it. I hope that's okay since you didn't answer me," she says shaking her head again after the maintenance men have left.

"So this is a Christmas tree? It's beautiful," I say to her.

"Oh, Tris," Christina says, shaking her head. "We have so much to teach you here at Dauntless. There are so many things about the world you don't know. You have to _decorate_ the tree. You know for supposedly being selfless, I think Abnegation parents are extremely selfish for not letting their children celebrate Christmas."

"Decorate it with what?" I ask innocently. She stares at me with blank eyes, her mouth hanging slightly open. She goes to the kitchen mumbling under her breath about stupid Abnegation rules to make us lunch. I just shrug and look back at the tree. She warms up some left over vegetable soup Tobias apparently made last night while I was asleep and pairs it with cold turkey sandwiches. I realize the throbbing in my ankle has increased and momentarily think about taking a pain pill but I really don't want to sleep yet another day into oblivion.

"Do you think you could go upstairs to the bathroom and get me a couple acetaminophen tablets out of the medicine cabinet?" I ask when she hands me my plate. "My ankle's hurting a bit more but I really don't want to take the pain meds the doctor prescribed. I would like to stay awake for just one day this week." She obliges my mood and climbs the stairs to retrieve the pills.

"If these don't help, promise you'll take some of the medication the doctor prescribed. I don't want you in pain, even if you do fall asleep," she says handing me the pills, and I nod at her. Then she sits down on the couch to eat her lunch. "You seriously have never seen a Christmas tree, Tris, or are you just pulling my leg?"

"I've never even heard of a Christmas tree before today. I've heard of Christmas but we weren't allowed to celebrate it. Christina, we weren't even allowed to celebrate our own birthdays, too selfish. As a matter of fact, I didn't even know what my birthdate was until I saw it in my Dauntless file three months ago. Imagine that if you can, finding out when your birthday is in a file compiled by complete strangers." Her mouth falls open. "The only celebrations we had were at weddings and at the end of initiation for new members, and I've come to realize they weren't much of a celebration. I mean washing feet and serving everyone food. Not much of a celebration." I don't know what the look on my face denotes but Christina bursts out laughing so hard she nearly topples her plate.

"I'm sorry to laugh," she says as she snorts one last time. "You looked so disgusted right then. By the way, Christmas trees are decorated with all different kinds of things, lights, candles, tinsel, and ornaments. Usually it's a family tradition what you decorate your tree with. What has Four decorated trees with in the past? Oh, sorry. If you've never heard of a Christmas tree you obviously have never talked about decorating one with Four."

"Tell me about the holidays that fall between now and The Choosing Ceremony. I wish I would have had this conversation with you shortly after jumping into Dauntless. You could have saved me all the embarrassment of not knowing what Halloween and Thanksgiving were," I say with a shy smile. She's right, I have so much to learn about this new life.

"Well, let's see. Of course there's Christmas, which falls on December 25 each year. Then there's New Year's Eve, which is December 31. With that we celebrate the end of an old year and the beginning of a new year. A lot of alcohol is consumed. Valentine's Day is a day set aside for romance, couples, and lovers. It falls on February 14. At Candor, a lot of couples got married on that day. Then there's The Choosing Ceremony, which of course always falls on July 4," she tells me. "Those are the big holidays. There are smaller ones like Mother's Day and Father's Day that fall on Sundays in May and June. I can never remember the exact ones."

"Thanks for the information. I was totally caught off guard with Halloween. You think it was funny I didn't know what a Christmas tree was, you should have seen Four trying to explain Halloween. I'm still not sure I totally understand," I say shaking my head. Christina laughs at me again. It's a good thing I'm in a good mood.

"That reminds me of something though. I'm offering you a new job," I say. This statement captures her total attention, and her laugh cuts off. She turns her body to look at me with confusion on her face. "It will be in addition to your hours at the boutique, clothing store, tattoo parlor, and salon. Feel free to turn it down, Christina, but I think you should be paid for your talents. I want to make you Dauntless' official party planner. It would add 100 points to your paycheck each week, and you would be responsible for planning all the Dauntless parties. You would report to me, but you're a much better party planner than I will ever think of being so I wouldn't be giving you much input, except for an occasional menu choice." We laugh remembering my speech about sweet potato casserole. "I trust you completely to do this job. What do you say?"

"You want to _pay_ me to plan parties?" she asks, disbelief clear in her voice.

"Yeah," I say matter-of-factly. "Like I said, I believe you should get compensated for your brilliant planning. As a matter of fact, if you accept this job, I am going to pay you retroactively for the Dauntless Welcome party and the Halloween party you planned."

"You have that much faith in me, Tris?"

"Of course I do!" I say. "What do you think?"

"Yes," she says hugging me. "Thank you, Tris. Do I need to plan a New Year's Eve party?" Tobias and Tori never said anything, but I think with the added stress of Ivy's death, we need any excuse we can get to have a good time.

"Go ahead and plan just a party, no formal meal just like Halloween was. Do you think we could do a masquerade ball? When Four was explaining Halloween to me I mixed up the concepts. I was really excited at the prospect of a masquerade ball. I know I just told you I wouldn't give you any input but I think a New Year's Eve Masquerade Ball sounds like fun. Do you think the boutique or clothing store could get ball gowns and masks on such short notice?"

"That's an absolutely wonderful idea. It shouldn't be too hard to get them. As a matter of fact, I'll call Zoe right now and ask her about it." She calls her boss and is on the phone for over an hour giving her directions about the New Year's Eve party. Zoe commits to ordering an additional stock of ball gowns and masks for the evening.

We spend the rest of the afternoon planning the New Year's Eve party, finalizing the Christmas party, and watching movies. I also tell Christina I won't be able to make our planned dress shopping for the Christmas party since the doctor has me under strict house arrest and ask her to pick out a suitable party dress for me. I trust her not to get me something I wouldn't pick out for myself. I also ask her to get me some sensible shoes to go along with it. I know it will be a hardship for her not to pick out 4 inch stilettos to accompany the dress but I'm not even sure if the doctor will let me walk without the assistance of my crutches by then. I'm beginning to think my metal walking assistive devices are near permanent embellishments for me.

I notice my pain level has gone down quite nicely since yesterday. The four acetaminophen tablets I've taken throughout the day have dealt with the pain with no unwanted side effects. My shoulders are well on their way back to normal but my ankle is throbbing more than I would like it to. The left shin is no longer hurting at all, and the bruise has started to yellow a bit. I only did the shoulder exercises once yesterday because of the excessive sleeping, but I've done them twice so far today. They are not too strenuous, and I'm doing them exactly as the doctor ordered.

Shortly before suppertime, Tobias and Will walk through the door each carrying several bags of various sizes. He quietly tells him to put them on the other side of the island and thanks him. My curiosity is piqued, and I look at him but he won't quite meet my eyes. He never mentions the bags or what's in them and immediately jumps into telling Christina and me about their day. He spent the morning showing Will the hidden files created by Eric I told Christina about. After lunch they made themselves available to the Dauntless members trying to get out ahead of the death scandal.

A little after 6 p.m., Will and Christina say goodbye for the night and head down to the cafeteria for supper. Tobias finally comes to sit beside me on the couch. He sits close, and I put my legs over his and look into his eyes waiting for an explanation of all the bags that are now hidden in the kitchen.

"It's killing you isn't it?" is all he says, mischief shining in his eyes.

"Tobias Eaton," I slowly say, not quite sure what to say, when something he teased earlier this week comes back to me. "If you don't tell me what's up with all those bags, I'm going to have to seduce it out of you." He heartily laughs, obviously ready to play. I look into his deep dark blue eyes calculating my next move but soon I find my curiosity slowly dying as my desire builds. I smile coyly up at him through my lashes as I slowly maneuver myself so I am straddling his lap, testing each move for pain or discomfort but am pleasantly surprised to find none. I rest my hands on his hips to steady myself then reach up and stroke his cheek with just the back of my fingertips. I lean forward and hesitantly place my lips on his now hammering heart and kiss him through the tight black fabric covering his muscled chest. Then I kiss my way up while I wrap both my arms around his neck and play with the curls that are touching his collar. I teasingly run my tongue slowly up his neck to his ear, placing kisses every so often. When I get to his ear, I place a kiss just below it then run my tongue up, place my lips against his lobe, and whisper, "What's in the bags, Tobias?"

I lean back and look into the eyes I so easily get lost in. His pupils dilate and his mouth lands on mine eagerly. Although I wasn't expecting his reaction, I welcome it. Our tongues hungrily make love to each other's mouths. I feel his hands move to my hips then slide around to my back. Soon he's slipped his right hand under the edge of my shirt, and I feel his calloused fingertips gently caressing the sensitive skin of my lower back. I moan into his mouth. He slowly glides his other hand up to the middle of my back and gently pulls me closer to him. I break away from him gasping for air, and he looks down into my eyes, our breathing synchronized. I drop my hands down to my side then set them on his hips again. I slowly move them up so they are sitting just above the waistband of his jeans on his bare skin. We continue looking in each other's eyes.

"Tobias," I say. I'm dazed by the need radiating through me.

"We can't, Tris," he throatily says as he rests his forehead against mine. I know he wants me as much as I want him in this moment. "The doctor said..." he lets the statement fall away because we both know what the doctor said, no sex. My damn accident has ruined so much. Suddenly, without warning, tears overflow my eyes. I blink them back and see despair on his face. I ease myself off his lap, leaving my legs dangling over his left knee, and lean back into the couch.

"I'm sorry for the tears, Tobias," I say, agitatedly wiping them away but for every one I wipe away, two more spill. "It's nothing but frustration." He wraps his arms around me, more aggressively than I'm expecting, and I wince from the sharp pain that radiates from my right shoulder down into my back. He automatically loosens his grip but he doesn't let me go.

"I'm sorry too, and I share your frustration. I didn't know our little game was going to set off this reaction in both of us. I should have known after yesterday morning but I wasn't thinking." He groans as he kisses the top of my head. I raise my drying eyes to look at him, and I feel so many emotions at once. A new round of wetness starts to spread making it hard to see him. These tears spill also. "God," he groans sounding like he's agony. " _Please_ don't cry, Tris." I try to spare him my emotional outburst but right now all that will help is letting the tears flow, washing the frustration out of me.

After the tears are dry I whisper, "I'm sorry, Tobias. Will you do something for me?" He tenses up awaiting my question. "Please," I say drawing out the anticipation, teasing a little, "tell me what's in the bags." He laughs, letting all the anxiety of the past few minutes go.

"You really haven't guessed?" he asks seriously. I try to think but nothing comes to mind. I shake my head at him. He smiles. "The bags are full of items to decorate our first Christmas tree." He points toward the naked Douglas fir standing in front of the wall of windows. "I asked Zeke what we would need to decorate the tree, and he helped me pick some things out during lunch. How about I cook us supper and afterward we start decorating our first Christmas tree?" I put my hands on his face and pull him closer to me, kissing him thoroughly before relinquishing him to the kitchen.


	28. Chapter 28

Tobias makes homemade thin crust pepperoni pizza for supper, another recipe he got from Hana, Zeke and Uriah's mother, who has become like a second mother to many Dauntless transfers including Tobias and me. Spending time with her makes me miss my mom less and more at the same time.

After we eat the delicious pepperoni and mozzarella cheese covered pizza, Tobias brings the many bags of decorations into the living room and places them near the naked fir standing tall in our living room. He hands me a couple of paper bags full of raw cranberries, some strong but extremely thin cord, and a needle and tells me to start stringing the cranberries into garland we'll wind around the tree. He makes several large knots in the end of the cord to stop the cranberries from just slipping off the end, and strings the first few after seeing the questioning look in my eyes. Once he hands me my project, I hold the needle gently between the thumb and index finger of my left hand gauging the amount of pain in the broken hand and start stringing the cranberries just like Tobias showed me, making it look exactly like a long rope of cranberry-colored pearls.

Tobias moves the large tree out away from the wall of windows so he can walk all the way around it freely, causing the clean scent of pine to fill the apartment. When I'm not diligently stringing the cranberries, my eyes are on him, watching closely what he's doing. He moves out of my sight for a moment and comes back with a couple small brightly colored boxes. He opens the first box and removes its contents. It's a string of bright multi-colored lights. He then opens the second box and connects the two strands of lights together. He then carefully gathers the lights and starts winding them around the tree starting at the top and working his way down. I realize I've stopped stringing the cranberries but when I start again a sharp pain shoots through my hand. I'm not sure how, but Tobias notices me wince.

"Are you okay?" he asks just as he comes out from behind the tree with lights wrapped around one arm. I laugh at the look of something so delicate wrapped around his strong arm.

"I don't think I can string anymore cranberries, my hand is starting to hurt a little," I confess, leaning forward to move the ottoman my way so I can put my right ankle up. It's started throbbing also. "Can you get me some acetaminophen out of the upstairs bathroom's medicine cabinet when you get done with the lights?"

"What about a pain pill?" he asks, concern filling his eyes.

"I'll take one before we go to bed. I would like to be conscious when we're decorating our tree. I should say when _you_ are decorating the tree. I'm pretty useless over here," I say matter-of-factly. I sigh loudly, and he meets my eyes once again. "I'm tired of not being able to walk. Hopefully, the doctor will take off _all_ the restrictions at my next appointment." He knows I'm not talking only about wanting to walk, we've waited long enough.

As soon as he finishes winding the lights around the tree he goes upstairs and gets me two more acetaminophen tablets. He gives them to me then sits down next to me and finishes stringing the cranberry garland while we talk about our day. When he finishes the garland, he winds it around the tree starting at the bottom and working his way up, making sure they aren't on any of the branches the lights have fallen on. Next he pulls one of our eight kitchen barstools over to the center of our living room right in front of the tree then comes to me, picks me up, and deposits me on the barstool.

"What is this for?" I ask.

" _We_ are decorating the tree. You're going to help me hang the ornaments the best you can," he says, handing me a bright red round glass ball with a smile. He shows me how to hang it on the end of a branch with the ornament hanger. We take turns hanging the various ornaments, which are as simple as clear glass balls and as ornate as hand-painted toy soldiers from Amity. When all the ornaments are hung, he puts me in the middle of the couch and takes the barstool back to the kitchen. Then he plugs the lights that are now wrapped around the tree into a little box and plugs the box into the electrical outlet. He carries a little remote with him and hands it to me. Finally, he goes over to the far wall and turns off the lights in the apartment. He comes over and carefully sits on the couch next to me and pulls me into his arms.

"Do you feel the switch on the top of the remote?" he asks me. "Switch it to the right." I feel the small rectangle of plastic in my hand and find the switch he is talking about and slide it to the right. We both gasp and stare. The tree is absolutely breathtaking. The lights look like shiny multicolored gems all over a dark green background. They're reflecting off the shiny surfaces of the round ornaments, sending sparkling prisms onto the floor, ceiling, and dark windows.

"You said this is your first Christmas tree also, Tobias. Why didn't you have one the past two years?" I ask, not taking my mesmerized eyes off the beautiful sight in front of us. "I would have thought after not being able to celebrate anything your first 16 years you would have jumped at the chance. I would have."

"It really didn't interest me. Honestly, Tris, not much did interest me before I met you," he says leaning toward me and laying his lips on mine. He kisses me quickly, making sure not to reignite the passion that fizzled out not so long ago. "Our firsts aren't only about the physical side of love but the emotional side also. I'm glad this is another first we're experiencing together."

"The emotional side of love," I murmur. "Christina mentioned that when we were discussing 'the talk' earlier this week." My mind drifts back to that conversation.

"Why were you talking about that?"

"The nurse from the clinic, Isobel, recognized me at Christina's appointment from ours. I could see by the look in Christina's eyes that she wasn't going to let go how the nurse knew me so I told her about my birth control appointment. Our conversation evolved from there. She asked about what my mom told me about sex." I look up into Tobias' eyes feeling the heat rise into my cheeks. This is a conversation we have never had before. One that it's probably best we're having now. "I have to be honest, Tobias, she didn't tell me much. Just the mechanics of what it is, what goes were so to speak." We both laugh lightly, embarrassed. "She told me it was only to be done between a husband and wife and it was only to have children. She really left me thinking she and my dad had only had sex twice in their lives. She didn't tell me _anything_ else. Christina's mom told her there was also an emotional side to sex and to tell you the truth, I kind of feel cheated that my mom didn't feel she could tell me the truth, whatever the truth is. Everything about Abnegation is based on selflessness, how selfless can you be to give yourself to another person wholly?"

"My father didn't tell me much different than your mom told you," he says, his words just barely over a whisper. I wonder when this topic will become easier for us. "He did tell me sex can be very selfish if you're only doing it for your own pleasure. It's probably the best advice I got from him. I've gotten more of an education here just by hanging out with the guys."

"I know what you mean," I say leaning back into him to look toward our tree again. He gently wraps his arms around me and pulls me against his chest. "You wouldn't think the subject of sex would constantly come up in a group of girls but it does. I shed a little self-consciousness every time the topic comes up when I'm with them. Of course, the subject of you and me comes up a lot. Christina still cannot believe we haven't. She asks me how I can live with you and be this close," I caress his arm, "and not ... I tell her it's difficult some times."

"Like now," he says kissing the top of my head.

"Yes. It's very difficult right now."

"Yes, it is. Is there anything I can do to help?" he asks.

"You could forget what the doctor said," I say teasingly but he doesn't answer like he's actually _thinking_ about dismissing what the doctor said. "Tobias?"

"We, I ... Tris, we _have_ to do what the doctor says." I turn in his arms so I'm looking up in his eyes. I let my eyes plead with his. There's conflict there. I'm 99% certain if I kissed him right now, I would get my way, and we wouldn't be waiting anymore but suddenly a pain hits in my shin that hasn't been present all day and Tobias springs into protection mode. He gently turns me back around in his arms and pushes me away. He goes to the kitchen and gets my nightly medication. I want to argue but since the pain has made itself known, it's screaming at me.

"Could you take me upstairs, please?" I ask after I take the pills. He leans over and gets one arm around my back and the other under my knees, and I reach up and wrap my arms around his neck. As he carries me toward the steps, I pull his mouth to mine. He kisses me, never letting his lips leave mine until he gently lies me down on the bed. He starts to pull away but I grab him back down to me ignoring the pain in my left hand, trying to get his shirt off.

"Tris," he says against my open mouth. "You're killing my self-control." He pushes back to get off of me, breathless, and I'm powerless to stop him. I push out my bottom lip and pout. "Nope, you're not getting your way by pouting tonight. Do you want some PJs or are you going to sleep in your clothes tonight."

"I would like some PJs," I say as I try to sit up and take my shirt off. He pushes me back down onto the bed, and I look up at him. He mumbles something about drunk.

"Beatrice Prior, listen to me," he says sternly, then adds under his breath, "if you can. Your pain pills have kicked in. I'm just going to let you sleep here. I'm going to go sleep in the other room." Panic spreads through me. I can't sleep without him.

I reach out to him and scream, "NO!" I try to slow my now hammering heart. "Please don't leave me. I'll be good," I slur. Oh, something's not right with me. I narrow my eyes at Tobias and look at him. He looks torn. He turns and goes to the dresser and gets me a sleep set and brings it back to me.

"I'm going to the bathroom to get ready for bed. If you want to put this on, do it while I'm out of the room, please." He tosses the clothes at me and heads for the hallway. I carefully get out of my pants and into the sleep shorts but I'm having trouble with the shirt. I sit on the edge of the bed in just my bra trying to get the camisole on when Tobias comes back into the room. I hear him groan but can't see his face since my head is wrapped with fabric.

"Help," I squeak. I don't want him to be mad at me. He walks over and takes the camisole off the top of my head and untangles it. He asks me to lift my arms, and he puts the camisole on like he's helping a 2-year-old. I reach around trying to unhook my bra but let out a defeated sigh. I look up at him, and he just stares for a moment. "I can get it off if you unhook it. I don't like sleeping in my bra." He slowly walks to the bed, lifts the back of my camisole and unhooks the eyes one at a time then he walks out of the bedroom. I decide to let him go. I fiddle with my bra until I magically whisk it off without having to remove my shirt.

I look around for my crutches but they must be downstairs. How am I supposed to get to the bathroom if I can't walk? I know I should call out for Tobias, but I think he needs to cool off. I've upset him, and I'm not entirely sure how. My mind isn't thinking very clearly at the moment. Fatigue is weighing me down. I get up on my good leg and slowly lower myself to the floor. I get on all fours and crawl across our bedroom and out into the hallway being careful of my left shin, right ankle, and my broken wrist. Soon my head bumps into a pair of muscular shins.

" _What_ are you doing, Tris?" he asks. I look up at him and a wave of vertigo comes over me. I put my head down waiting for the room to stop spinning.

"I have to go to the bathroom, but I knew you were mad at me, so I thought I could get there this way," I say, a yawn escaping. I can tell he's deciding whether to step out of my way to let me continue or help me up. Chivalry wins out, and he helps me to my feet. He then carefully sweeps me up in his arms and carries me into the bathroom.

Once I'm done, I call out for him, and he silently carries me back into our bedroom and gently lies me down on my side of the bed. He crosses the room and turns out the light. I hold my breath waiting for the bed to move. I'm not sure it will. Soon I feel the gentle sway of the bed as he sits down and let out the breath I am holding. He lies down and before I turn my back to him to let him pull me to him like he does every night, I reach out and touch his face.

"I'm sorry for my behavior tonight, Tobias. I don't know what happened to me," I say, slurring the words as I go. "I love you. Please don't hate me." Then I roll my back to him. After a long minute he pulls me into his arms and sighs. Before I drift off, I swear I hear him say he could never hate me.

When I wake up a little after 5 a.m., Tobias has left me a note saying he went for a run. This surprises me because just yesterday he said he didn't want me left alone in the apartment. Last night is starting to come back to me, and I realize I was acting as badly as he did the night he came home drunk. This bothers me because I've never so much as had one sip of alcohol, and my medication has never given me that reaction before. I see my phone next to my bed and call the infirmary and ask to talk to the nurse on duty. Soon Emily, my purple-haired nurse, answers the phone. I tell her who I am, and she quickly remembers me because of my supposed bad attitude. I ask her if there's some sort of drug interaction between the medications I'm taking and acetaminophen because I had a side effect last night I've never had before, it was like I was drunk. She puts me on hold for a few minutes and then tells me my pain pills and acetaminophen interact to cause a euphoric-like state. I thank her for the information before I hang the phone up and set it on my night stand.

I must have fallen back to sleep because soon I realize someone is talking to me. I turn my head on my pillow and find Tobias, freshly showered, looking down at me. I carefully take in his face trying to read his expression but it seems carefully contained.

"You went for a run?" I ask cautiously.

"Yes. I needed to let off some steam. Are you feeling better?" he asks, a sly smile crossing his face. I bury my head in my pillow while his laughter shakes the bed. I feel him slide down closer to me in bed, and I look into his amused eyes.

"You're not mad at me? I was horrible last night."

"You remember all that? I think I know what you would be like if you were to ever get drunk," he says then seriously adds, "and no I didn't like it. You get a bit handsy." I groan at that. We are quite the pair. Just add alcohol and we can't keep our hands off of one another.

"I called the infirmary this morning because I knew it wasn't normal behavior. I'm not supposed to take my pain medication with acetaminophen, it causes a euphoric-like state. I didn't think I was euphoric last night but I definitely was ... something."

"Can I ask you a question?" he asks, suddenly all serious again.

"You can ask me anything," I say.

"Was I as bad as you were last night the night I came home drunk?" I think about his question while I stare into the endless depths of his eyes.

"Yes," I say.

"I had no idea. I really am sorry, Tris." An echo from last night rings in my head.

"Did you call me Beatrice last night?" I ask, trying to remember why he would do that.

"Yes. First you tried to get me out of my clothes and then yourself. I was having enough issues with self-control last night, I didn't need to see you without your clothes on." I bury my head again to let the blush leave my face then slowly turn my head to look at him. "I think we need to make some ground rules, just until the doctor clears us for ... recreational activities." I giggle at that.

"What kind of ground rules?" I ask, knowing at least one. _Stupid_ _doctor_.

"No asking me to ignore the doctor's orders for one," he says. Yep, I know him so well.

"You wanted to ignore them," I state. "I could see it in your eyes, Tobias."

"You are absolutely right, Tris," he says, caressing my face. "I was ready to make love to you last night, but then I saw pain in your eyes and one desire was replaced with another. My desire to protect you and keep you safe will _always_ override my physical desires."

"I love you, Four," I say.

"I love you, too, Six," he says placing his lips lightly against mine. He pulls away too soon for my liking. "Now back to the ground rules."

"Basically, we can't do anything that will make us want to have sex until the doctor, the _stupid_ doctor, says it's okay." He laughs at my irritated expression.

"Basically," he says still chuckling. He leans down to place his lips to mine once again when we hear a loud knocking at the apartment door. He turns his head to look at the clock and groans. It's only shortly after 8 a.m. on a Sunday. He quickly kisses me before getting out of bed.

"What could this be about at this time of day? The last time we were interrupted, someone died," he says as he makes his way out of our bedroom. I hope that isn't the case. I hear his footsteps on the stairs, and I hear them carry him to the door. I strain to figure out who he's talking with but I can't quite make out the other voice. Soon Tobias' footsteps are quickly bringing him up the stairs. When he's standing in front of me, all his color is gone. I sit up, alarmed.

"What is it Tobias?" I ask.


	29. Chapter 29

"Tobias, what's wrong?" I ask again, fear quickly spreading through me. His expression looks grave. "Talk to me."

"Tris. God, I don't want to tell you this. There's been another assault. It's Hana." I spring out of bed, forgetting my sprained ankle and immediately fall into his muscled arms, tears of frustration streaming down my face.

"Is she okay? We have to go to the infirmary _now_ ," I scream.

"You can't go to the inf..." he starts but I cut him off.

"So help me God, Tobias Eaton, if you tell me I can't go because of my injuries, I'll drag myself there on my hands and knees. I _have_ to see her. She's the closest thing to a mother I have here in Dauntless." As the frustration is replaced by fear and anger, adrenaline-spiked blood courses through my veins drying my tears. I swear I could beat to death the men who did this to Hana with my bare hands right now. He picks me up and sits me down on the side of the bed. I start to rage against him, but he tells me to quiet down.

"You get dressed, and I'll take you to the infirmary. All we may be able to do is wait in the waiting room."

"That's all I'm asking for." He goes to the dresser and picks out a dark gray form-fitting running bra and matching underwear and a pair of black socks and tosses them to me. Then he goes to my closet and gets out a pair of black yoga pants and a dark gray and black striped long sleeved t-shirt. He comes back to the bed, picks me up, and carries me into the bathroom. I quickly get dressed, pull my hair up into a messy bun, and brush my teeth. I then call out for him, and he quickly carries me down to the infirmary.

When we reach the infirmary's waiting area, Shauna, Marlene, and Lynn are huddled close together, worry on their faces. Zeke and Uriah are both pacing back and forth, murderous looks on their faces, wearing a pattern into the white, gray, and black linoleum tile floor. Tobias gently sits me down next to the girls and goes over to Zeke and Uriah.

"Tell me what happened," he quietly says to his best friend. Zeke turns his dead eyes toward Tobias, and I know this isn't going to be good. He walks directly to Tobias.

"You know _exactly_ what happened, Four," he spits, pressing his index finger into Tobias' chest over and over. "People keep dying here, and you aren't doing _a damn thing_ to stop it. What are you even doing here? You don't give a shit about my mother?" I know Zeke is hurting right now but accusing Tobias of not caring about Hana is definitely not the right thing to say in this moment. A furious look transforms Tobias into Four.

"I know this is a rough time for you, but don't you _dare_ take it out on me, and don't you _ever_ say I don't care about her," he shouts directly into Zeke's face with more rage than I've ever seen on his face. "I love her. She is the closest thing I've had to a mother for the past nine years and you know it." They stand silently staring at each other, neither one backing down. Finally, Tobias firmly grips Zeke by the shoulder and drags him out into the hallway. Uriah goes to follow but I shake my head at him. This is something they need to work out on their own.

"Uriah, please tell me what happened. Four didn't tell me anything, just that your mother was here," I say gently.

"Zeke found her in the hallway this morning. She was sitting up by the front door of her apartment like she'd been placed there. She's been badly beaten. What's going on Tris? Why does Zeke think Four knows something about this?"

"I'm sure he's talking about the assaults we're investigating. He's upset and needs someone to take his anger out on. Four's his best friend, and it's easy to vent at him. Have the doctors given you an update yet?" I ask, going into leader mode.

"No, no one's telling us anything," he says finally sitting down beside Marlene who takes him in her arms and pulls him close. When I catch the eye of the reception desk nurse, I motion her over.

"Has there been an update on Hana Pedrad?" I ask. She shakes her head at me. "Tell the doctor we would like an update as soon as possible, and I need a written account like the previous victims." Then I add in a hushed tone, "Also have him check any collected DNA against the other cases. Thank you." She tells me okay and disappears through a door that says "Staff Only Beyond This Point." I look at my friends and say, "She'll get you some answers as soon as she can."

After an hour of nervous anticipation, Dr. Parrish comes into the waiting room and walks toward us. Uriah jumps up as soon as he sees him approaching. I look toward the doors wondering where Tobias took Zeke. They both should be here for this news. I quietly get my phone out of my pocket and send a text to Tobias saying the doctor is here to update Hana's condition. Dr. Parrish stops about a foot away from us and hands me his written report then turns his attention to Uriah, Marlene, Shauna, and Lynn. Not a minute later Zeke and Tobias come flying through the double doors causing everyone to look their way.

"Zeke, Four, I'm glad you're here. I was just explaining that Hana's condition is very serious but I don't foresee any complications. She should pull through with minimal residual effects. She is asking for Zeke and Uriah. She's also asking for Four and Tris. I'll allow you all five minutes with her."

Tobias puts me in a nearby wheelchair and pushes me following behind Zeke and Uriah. We enter her room, and I have to stifle a gasp. She has emerging bruises covering most of her body. Her eyes will probably be swollen shut in the morning. There's a laceration on her left cheek that's closed with butterfly stiches. Her right leg is in a bright green cast. Her chest is wrapped in a bandage, indicating at least one broken rib.

"My Zeke and Uri." She reaches out for each of her boys. They each take a hand gently in theirs. "Four and Tris also. I'm so glad you're all here. I need to tell you something important, I saw them. I really don't think they meant for me to live." We all gasp in unison.

"Hana, have you told anyone else this?" I ask.

"No. I thought it was important to tell only the four of you. Was I right?"

"Yes, Hana, you were. Please don't tell anyone else you saw them," Tobias says closing the door to her room then stepping to the head of her bed. "We're going to tell everyone you don't remember who attacked you because of a head injury. If they think you can identify them and you're still alive, they may come after you. I'll have guards on your door to make sure no one you don't know gets in to see you."

"What were you doing this morning, Mom?" Uriah asks.

"I was headed to the commissary to get a few groceries for the day just like I do every Sunday morning, just like any other day. I came around the corner by the tattoo parlor and ran into two men, one of them seemed very familiar to me, but I couldn't place him so I kept walking. Then I remembered he seemed to be hanging around wherever I went for the past few weeks. I turned back to ask him about it, but they were right behind me, and that's really the last thing I remember. I shouldn't have turned back to question them. It was stupid but I didn't sense any danger from them."

"I'm going to come back with Tori later today and get you to describe each one of them in detail and have her draw them. We need to identify these ... _people_ as soon as we can," Tobias says as he leans in and kisses her forehead lightly. "I'm so sorry this happened. Zeke, Uriah, could you give Tris and me a minute with your mother. It's very important or I wouldn't ask." Hana nods to then, and they both say goodbye to her then leave the room.

"Hana, I'm going to ask you a very sensitive question, and I really need the truth, please. I should've asked this question sooner, but I didn't know how, and I didn't think I had the right," Tobias says. He takes a slow deep breath before he proceeds. "Are you Divergent, Hana? Tris and I really need to know the truth." She looks straight ahead, showing absolutely no reaction. She looks first into my eyes for a long minute then turns her head and looks up into Tobias' eyes.

"I trust you like a son, Four, but I'm having trouble with why you would ask me a question like that," she calmly says.

"There's a conspiracy in Dauntless right now. I have a list of names that are being targeted. We can't figure out what the connection between these names is, but four names on the list we know 100% are Divergents. Your name's on the list, Hana. What am I supposed to think? We've looked at every conceivable commonality and there just isn't one. _Please_ , are you Divergent?"

"Yes, I am. Is Uriah's name on the list? He's Divergent also, but I'm sure by administering the simulations during initiation you're already aware of that, right, Four?" she asks, panic creeping into her voice. He sits down in the chair next to her bed and covers her cheek with his hand.

"No, he isn't on the list," he pauses then adds, "but I am."

"Oh, Four," she says patting the hand that is on her cheek. A single tear rolls down her face – worry for her children, biological and "adopted." He leans over and kisses her on the forehead once again.

"We better get out of here before Dr. Parrish kicks us out. I'll be back with Tori later today when the doctor says you can have visitors again. Should I send Zeke and Uriah back in here for a minute or two?"

"Yes, please. I don't want them to worry. I'll be alright. You two shouldn't worry either. Just catch these people." I roll myself to Hana's side and take her hand and gently squeeze it then Tobias wheels me out of the room. Zeke and Uriah are standing in the hallway, and Tobias tells them she would like to see them again. He pushes me to the reception desk and tells the nurse he needs to speak to Dr. Parrish immediately. Although she looks annoyed with all the orders, she pages him and within minutes the doctor is standing before us.

"When can I come back to get her statement," Tobias says.

"I really just want her to get some rest. Would you like me to give you a call when I feel she's ready?" he asks.

"Yes, I would appreciate it." He reaches out and shakes the doctor's hand.

"I was surprised to see you here today, Tris. I thought I told you to stick to your apartment," Dr. Parrish says.

"Hana is like a mother to me," I say. "I needed to be here, plus I'm feeling a lot better."

"You are looking better than the last time I saw you. How is the ankle feeling?" He squats down and wraps his large hands around my right ankle causing me to wince a little.

"It's still tender but it no longer throbs all the time."

"That is a good sign. I'll tell you what, let's move your appointment up to Wednesday at 12:30 p.m. How does that sound?" Tobias and I both look at each other and smile.

"That sounds great, doctor," I say. Fear spasms through me, and I'm not sure why. "Dr. Parrish, please take good care of Hana for all of us. She's very important."

"I'll do the best I can, Tris," he says then walks back into the infirmary. Just then my stomach growls. We haven't eaten anything since last night's homemade pepperoni pizza, a recipe of Hana's. Tobias looks down at me and asks if I would like to have lunch in the cafeteria today. I jump at the chance. I don't like the circumstance that led to my field trip, but it has been so long since I've been anywhere but home or the infirmary. He tells the now cranky-looking reception desk nurse, Erin I think is her name, he's borrowing the wheelchair to go to the cafeteria, and he'll bring it back when we're done.

I'm very aware of all the eyes following me as Tobias wheels me toward the cafeteria. The first person I see when we enter the dining hall is Christina. Her eyes light up, and she waves at me. I can't help but wave back at her. Tobias parks me at the end of our regular table, out of the way of foot traffic.

"I can't believe you're here," she excitedly says, sliding down to sit next to me. "To what do we owe the pleasure?"

"There was another assault this morning," I say while Tobias gets us each a plate of food. Everyone's faces at the table turn somber. "This time it was Zeke and Uriah's mother, Hana. Four brought me down to the infirmary to see her and then brought me to lunch. It's nice to get out of the house, I just wish it hadn't been at Hana's expense."

"Is she going to be okay?" Dante asks, his eyes filling with worry. Everyone at our table knows Hana well because of Zeke and Uriah.

"The doctors are optimistic," Four say. "Unfortunately, she doesn't remember much of the attack. She remembers walking to get groceries and that's it."

"Is there anything we can do for her?" Ciara asks.

"She might need help with meals when she gets out of the infirmary. She has a broken leg," I say. I for one knows how hard it is to get around Dauntless not being able to walk. Ciara, Kirsten, and Ella all commit to taking turns helping Hana with meals. They all live close to Hana's floor. Four says he'll help out cooking once in a while also.

"Four, you cook?" Ella asks.

"Yes, Four is definitely the better cook in our family," I say. He looks down at me with an unusual look on his face.

"Our family," he says in my ear. "I like the sound of that." He leans over and presses his lips gently to mine, causing me to blush a little. Just then I hear his phone beep, and he looks at its screen. I see the doctor is calling. He excuses himself from the table to take the important call. I let my eyes roam the cafeteria as I listen to the chatter around the table, mostly about Hana's assault. Just as I see Tobias coming back to the table in my peripheral vision, I lock eyes with my hero, and my mouth falls open.

"What is it, Tris?" Tobias asks, suddenly worried about me.

"It's him," I whisper. He looks at me like I've quite possibly lost my mind. My memory was _not_ exaggerating, my hero looks exactly like my brother only older. "The man who saved me the night I fell. Four, he's right over there." I point in his direction. Tobias looks the direction my arm is pointing and sees the man staring back at us. "Take me over there please. I would like to thank him."

"Just one minute, I need to text Tori," he says, typing on his phone. Soon his phone buzzes, and he looks toward Will. "Are you available for an hour, Will?" Will nods at him. After he puts his phone away he wheels me toward my hero. He stops me right beside the familiar-looking stranger and stands beside me protectively.

"I never got a chance to thank you for saving me the night you pulled me up to the path. You left the infirmary before anyone got your name," I say staring at him, slightly in awe.

"I'm sorry, Tris, I just wanted to get out of everyone's way. How are you doing? This is the first time I've seen you since the accident," he asks.

"I'm doing well. I have a sprained ankle, which caused me to fall. That's why I'm in this wheelchair. No need for Four here to carry me all over Dauntless when he can push me," I say with a smile, looking up over my shoulder at him. "I'm sorry I'm staring, but you look so familiar to me. What's your name?"

"Oh, how rude. My name is Nathan Wright. This is my wife Dru and our son Callen," he says motioning to the people sitting with him at the table. I barely notice his wife, except for her dark chocolate-colored eyes, but when I look to his son, I gasp. He, too, looks exactly like Caleb except for his mother's dark brown eyes staring back at me. Tobias kneels down and wheels me to face him.

"Are you okay?" he asks, his hands hovering again like the night of the accident. "What's wrong?" I turn myself back toward the table.

"I'm sorry but you have no idea," I say, looking at Callen. "You are the spitting image of my brother, except for the color of your eyes." Then I look at Nathan and say, "You remind me of him also, especially the eyes, light green – just like my mother's."

"I have to admit since the first time I saw you, you remind me of someone I used to know, Tris. My sister, Natty."

"Natty? _Natalie_?" I ask slowly, pieces falling into place.

"Yes, how did you know?"

"My mother's name is Natalie."


	30. Chapter 30

When my mother's name rolls off my tongue, it catches the attention of the entire table I'm sitting in front of. Tobias, who is standing much like a statue directly behind me finally comes back to life and puts his hands gently on my shoulders. First, I take in the appearance of my maybe aunt. She's a slight, middle-aged woman with shoulder length wavy blonde hair with darker brown highlights complementing her pretty face, which is absent the normal Dauntless piercings. Her right arm, however, is covered with an extensive tattoo made up of intertwined smaller ones. Callen looks exactly like his father with the exception of having his mother's dark chocolate-colored eyes. He appears to be very close to my age, but I'm not the best at gauging how old someone is based on a glance. He too is missing the usual piercings and added hair colors I've come to expect in my Dauntless brothers and sisters. Then I look back into the familiar eyes of my maybe uncle and my heart constricts. His eyes remind me so of my mother's, and I miss her that much more today.

"That's not possible," Nathan Wright says, staring at me, his mouth slightly agape. "My sister fell in love with an Erudite boy, and they both joined another faction. I haven't seen her in over 18 years." I can't imagine not seeing Caleb for over 18 years. A lot of things he did while we were growing up like censuring me all the time for not being selfless enough aggravated me, but I still love him.

"Erudite boy?" I question. I can't believe my dad could have come from any other faction than Abnegation so this may be just a huge coincidence. I try not to let my imagination run away with me. "Do you remember his name, the Erudite boy?"

"I only heard her speak it once almost 20 years ago, when we were still attending school. Adam, Allen?" he says. I close my eyes and inhale deeply.

"Andrew?" I quietly ask as I open my eyes, meeting his gawking gaze once again.

"Yes ...," he nods. "Andrew." We just stare at one another, and I feel Dru and Callen's eyes on me as well.

"My parents' names are Andrew and Natalie Prior. I have a brother, Caleb, who just transferred to Erudite, and I transferred here, to Dauntless, from Abnegation. Did your sister join Abnegation?" I ask realizing I just found family I didn't know I had. He slowly nods to confirm the picture that's been forming in my mind, my mom has a brother. I have an uncle, an aunt, and a cousin! I hear footsteps behind me and look up to see Will and Christina join us.

"Tris, I have some business to attend to. Are you going to be alright?" Tobias asks, gently squeezing my shoulders before letting go.

"I'm fine, Four. Christina will stay with me, won't you?" I ask, shock still clear on my face.

"Sure, Tris. What's going on?" she asks, looking from one dazed face to another.

"It's actually quite amazing. Tris found family in Dauntless she didn't know she had." Tobias looks Nathan over and says, "I must say, you do resemble Tris' mother. I met her once on visitation day." He turns to me and kisses the top of my head. "I'm sorry but I've really got to go. I'll meet you in the Pit as soon as I can. Please, don't go too far." I smile at him and wave goodbye. I turn back to the table in front of me.

"Christina, this is Nathan Wright. He's the one who pulled me up onto the path the night I fell," I say. I turn my attention back to Nathan and add, "I should let you get back to your lunch. Thank you, again, Nathan for being there when I fell and pulling me up to safety." I reach my hand out to him, and he takes it firmly in his and shakes it twice.

"Tris, I would like to get together sometime and talk to you about your mother," Nathan says. "It's been so long since I've thought about her." A small smile crosses his lips, and his gaze looks like he is in another time. "I should have known there was a reason why you reminded me so much of her when Four introduced you as our new leader but I had no idea you were from Abnegation or I might have put two and two together." I'm surprised he hadn't heard about the _Stiff_ who placed first in this year's initiation class and was made into a leader. That seemed to be big news when it happened.

"That would be nice," I say. "I'd like to get to know you and your family. I would also love to know what my mom was like when she grew up here."

"How about we get together after the holidays. It's so busy for everyone right now plus by then you should be entirely healed up from your injuries. Would that be okay?" he asks.

"That would be great. Thank you again, Nathan. It was nice meeting you, Dru, Callen," I say then I look up at Christina. "Let's get out of here for a while." She takes the handles of the wheelchair and wheels me toward the exit of the cafeteria.

"Where would you like to go?" she asks.

"Anywhere but home or the infirmary. I've seen enough of those two places to last me a lifetime." She wheels me toward the guard rail by the chasm and parks me. She sets the break just to be on the safe side. I'm really not in the mood to roll into the chasm. I can feel a light spray from the rushing water every once in a while hit my hand.

"You really think that guy in there is your mother's brother?" she asks, skepticism on her face.

"I wish you could see Caleb, Christina. If you saw my brother and then looked at Nathan and Callen, you would be as sure as I am that they're related. The night Nathan pulled me back up onto the path, I honestly thought my brain was playing tricks on me. He looks just like Caleb right down to the color of his eyes, except Nathan is approximately 20 years older. I had talked myself out of what I saw, thinking it was the fear, adrenaline, or pain making me see things but when I saw him across the cafeteria just now, I knew. Somehow he and Caleb are related. It's so strange thinking there's a whole other family my mom has."

"Did you have any idea your mom used to be Dauntless?" Christina asks, leaning casually on the chasm guard rail, listening to me, ever watchful of those who pass by.

"Actually, on visiting day I became suspicious. She seemed to know her way around the compound better than I did, at the time, and she told me to have some chocolate cake for her. It didn't make any sense to me. After she left, I guessed she had to have grown up Dauntless, which still boggles my mind. My mom _Dauntless_!? I just can't picture it, I've tried. I can't see her anything but selfless, Abnegation. It's strange to think our parents lived different lives other than the ones they chose. According to Nathan, _both_ my parents transferred into Abnegation. My dad was _Erudite_. Maybe that's where Caleb got his fascination with Erudite, and since my mom was Dauntless, maybe that's where I got mine."

"You were fascinated by Dauntless?" she asks, looking into my eyes.

"When I was growing up, I was mesmerized by this faction. I would get to school early to wait and watch all the Dauntless kids jump off the train and run up to the building. They were always so happy and..."

"Crazy?" she interrupts with a laugh. "I remember one day in upper levels a guy with fluorescent orange hair daring a girl with white-blond hair to pull an earring out of her ear, and she _did_ it. She reached up and yanked it out of her ear. Blood went everywhere but she never even flinched. Crazy I tell you."

"I didn't view them as crazy, I viewed them as free. I had so many restrictions growing up. I couldn't do anything just for the joy of doing it, not even something as simple as reading a book or running just to feel the wind in my hair. Everything I did was aimed at helping others, and helping others did not come naturally to me. I was reminded of that almost daily by Caleb, who I swear is the most selfless person in the world or so I thought. I longed for the independence the Dauntless so freely showed."

"So, is that why you chose Dauntless?" she casually asks.

"When I walked up on the stage at the Choosing Ceremony, I honestly was going to pick Abnegation, especially after my brother had just chosen to leave my parents. I felt like it was my responsibility ... my _duty_ to stay, to be selfless for them," I say, letting the memory of that day wash over me. "I picked up the knife, cut my hand, and held it over the Abnegation bowl, but then I thought about what I wanted, what I _really_ wanted. I couldn't force myself to be selfless on a daily basis, it would destroy me, and the freedom of the white-hot coals of the Dauntless bowl called out to me. I honestly don't remember making the conscious decision to move my hand, I just remember the sizzling sound of my blood hitting those coals. I feel freer now than I ever have in my entire life, I've found home. Did you ever think you would end up in a different faction before your aptitude test?"

"I knew I didn't want to go through Candor initiation," Christina says with a thoughtful look on her face. "They give you truth serum and ask every personal question you can imagine. Absolutely nothing is sacred or kept private. You might as well walk around naked in front of every single member of Candor during initiation. I was overjoyed when my aptitude test was for Dauntless but, honestly, I didn't think of what that meant. All I could think was, 'I don't have to go through that hell.' I didn't realize I was signing up for a different kind of hell until Four got in my face that first day. He scared the crap out of me and then when Eric had me hang over the chasm." She just shakes her head, at a loss for words, and we both shudder at the terrifying memory. "To tell you the truth, Tris, Four still intimidates the shit out of me. The look he gets on his face sometimes, it's as if he wants to hurt someone. I have to admit when I found out you two were dating, I had mixed emotions. I thought he might be abusive or something." She looks at me remorsefully.

"He can be intimidating, I will agree with that," I say, "but he would never physically hurt me, not intentionally, Christina. Haven't you noticed a huge change in him since we got here?" She thinks about this longer than I think she will.

"I've only noticed a slight change and only when the two of you are together, so either love is _totally_ blind or he's a different person only when the two of you are alone." I think about that. I've noticed so many changes in him, but I think she may be right, it's when we're alone I notice the most profound ones.

"I hadn't thought about it that way, but I think you're right, it's when we're by ourselves that he's totally different. He's much more relaxed, easy going, and happy." Just then I see Tobias, Tori, and Will across the floor of the Pit. Tobias is scanning the crowd looking for us. I point them out to Christina, and she takes us toward them. When our eye meet, his light up but his expression doesn't change. His Four mask is firmly in place for all to see. Christina's right, to the outside world he's still the same person he was before I jumped into that net but I know different. I wonder if anyone else has noticed a change, Zeke maybe.

"Hey guys. Did you get everything you needed? How's Hana?" I ask, reaching out taking Tobias' hand in mine. He holds it proudly for everyone to see, massaging little circles into the palm of my hand with his thumb. I feel his touch in the pit of my stomach but don't pull away from him. I need to learn to control this want, especially when we're in public and acting as leaders.

"Yes, we did. I put Hana's statement in the file," he says looking down into my eyes. "Hana has a lot of injuries but she's going to be just fine."

"I hear I'm going to Amity for you, Tris," Tori says, delighted.

"Yes. I'll email you the details of what we're working on so you can familiarize yourself with them. Also there's something I want you to ask the other factions. See if there have been any unexplained assaults, injuries, or deaths. Let's see if this epidemic is limited to us," I say to Tori and then I look at Tobias. "I know it's our home cooked meal night, Four, but how about we eat in the cafeteria again. I like being out of the apartment. Can we borrow the wheelchair for another hour or so?" I try out a little pouty face, and he smiles brightly at me and shakes his head slightly.

"Anything you want," he says as he leans over and places his lips lightly to mine for a second. "I love you," he says so softly I think I might have imagined it except for the love radiating from his eyes.

He wheels me into the cafeteria for the second time today and parks me at the end of our long metal table just like he did earlier. He grabs me a plate of baked chicken breast smothered in barbeque sauce, extra cheesy twice baked potatoes, green bean casserole, and cranberry salad. Then we each top off the meal with a hearty slice of chocolate cake, which I definitely have been missing. The conversation around the table focuses on Hana, the Christmas party, and the New Year's Eve masquerade ball, which has just been announced. Zeke, Shauna, Uriah, Marlene, and Lynn join us for supper, and while Zeke fills us in on Hana's condition, everyone listens carefully.

"She has a concussion, non-displaced skull fracture, laceration on her cheek, bruises and abrasions covering 75% of her body, six broken ribs, and her right leg is broken. Both of her eyes are black." He pauses and a very dangerous look crosses his face. "I would love to kill whoever did this to her."

"You'll have to stand in line, bro. She's never done anything to anybody. I just don't understand why this happened," Uriah says picking at his cake. I know he's in bad shape if he doesn't want cake.

"Four," Zeke says. "I'm sorry about earlier, man. I was worried. I know you love her just as much as I do."

"No need to apologize. I'm glad she's going to be okay. We'll figure this out, I promise," he says, placing his hand on his best friend's shoulder.

"I forgot to tell you, Tris," Christina says during a lull in conversation. "I got you a dress and shoes for next Saturday night. I'll bring them over to you sometime soon. When do you go back to the doctor?"

"Thank you so much for getting the dress for me. I appreciate it. He moved the appointment up to Wednesday afternoon. Maybe I will be walking by Wednesday night. Hey, everyone please keep your fingers crossed for me. I'm not sure Four can take much more carrying me around," I say deflecting the attention onto him. I'm still not comfortable being the center of attention. He looks at me and laughs lightly.

"She's right. My arms are killing me from carrying her everywhere. She weighs a ton since she stopped running with me every morning," he says with the devil's glint in his eyes, not really acting like Four. I guess that's what I get for trying to get the attention off me. I turn a pale shade of red, not totally embarrassed but getting there.

"Hey!" I say, indignant. "I haven't gained any weight, if anything I've _lost_ weight from all the meals I've missed because of sleeping all the time."

"I'm kidding, Tris, take it down a notch," he says, rolling his eyes at me. Everyone at our table laughs at our little tiff. They don't often see this side of us.

"Christina, when will the masquerade gowns and masks get in at the boutique? We'll need to get there early to have the best selection," Ciara says.

"Zoe told me they're supposed to be in late Wednesday. I'll let everyone know when they get here, and we can have another shopping trip," Christina replies. Then she announces all the couples have to match. All the girls cheer happily but all the guys grumble. Men don't like shopping, and they have to get costumes and masks for the ball so it will be a coed shopping trip. "I'll arrange a private showing, how's that?"

"That sounds great," Kirsten and Ella say at the exact same time then start laughing. I'm enjoying my time out in public for the first time in almost a week, laughing and talking with my friends but Tobias is looking anxious. I don't know if it's the events of the day that have him on edge or something else but I think it's time to get him home so we can talk about it. A yawn involuntarily escapes my mouth, and I quickly realize I don't need to make up an excuse to leave, I really am tired. Apparently, sleeping approximately 20 hours a day for a week must take its toll on your body.

"I should get you home," he says, his hands hovering again. It's like he thinks I'm going to break or something. "It's been a long day, and Dr. Parrish wasn't really happy to see you out and about. I should have taken you home earlier."

"You can take me home now. I _am_ tired. I'm glad I got out though. It was getting stuffy at home."

"What? I'm not enough for you?" he asks teasingly, low enough only I can hear.

"You're all I ever need," I say pulling him down to place my lips on his.

"Seriously," Lynn says, a scowl appearing on her face. "I just ate you two. All your mushiness is going to bring everything back up." Everyone at the table laughs, I blush bright red, and Tobias scowls at Lynn causing her to shrink back.

After I tell everyone goodnight and Tobias just grunts a lot, he wheels me toward the infirmary to return the overdue borrowed wheelchair. He then carries me from the Pit up to the Pire to our apartment. I know I was joking earlier about him getting tired of carrying me around but that was an extremely long journey for him with an additional 100 pounds in his arms. When he sits me down on the couch, I pull him down next to me.

"What's wrong, Tobias?" I ask as I lay my head on his shoulder. He puts his arm around me and pulls me close to him. He picks up the remote on the table next to him and turns our Christmas tree lights on. The site still amazes me.

"The DNA came back on Hana's attackers," he says. "It only matched one of the samples from the earlier attacks. We have more attackers roaming the Dauntless halls than we thought."

"Is there any way to make everyone give samples of their DNA?" I ask. That would solve our problem.

"No. It's illegal to force faction members to relinquish their DNA without cause. Unfortunately, a list of names is not cause. We have to have concrete evidence linking a person to a crime before we can ask them for their DNA."

"What about the sketches? Did you recognize them?"

"No, I didn't. Neither did Tori, which says a lot. She's seen almost every single member of Dauntless come through the tattoo parlor at one point in time or another, and she didn't recognize either of them. That's what has been nagging at me all day," he says releasing me. He gets up and starts to pace back and forth in front of me. "What kind of Dauntless member _never_ goes to the tattoo parlor? It's a rite of passage here. Most people go multiple times. This just doesn't feel right. I feel like I'm missing something." He continues his pacing until it starts to make me dizzy.

"Tobias, stop." He stops in his tracks and looks at me, confusion on his face. "Sit down. _Please_." I move myself over and pat the couch beside me. He drops down onto the couch with a defeated air about him. "I have an idea. We need to talk to Hana again. We trust her. Show her the second list of names, ask her if she recognizes any of them. We also need to talk to Daniel and show him the sketches to see if he recognizes either of them. We also need to ask him if he noticed anyone following him in the weeks leading up to his attack. I think that's what bothered me this morning when we were talking to Hana. She recognized one of them as following her around. I also would suggest showing the sketches to Samaire but with her name being on the second list, I'm not sure she's to be trusted."

"Those are good ideas, but what else can we do?"

"How long has it been since you and Zeke watched the surveillance video? You've been home with me 90% of the time this week. You should go tomorrow and catch up. I'll be fine here. I promise," I say moving myself closer to him. I straddle his lap and put my arms around his neck.

"Tris, I don't think this is a good idea," he says firmly, trying to move me off of him, but I maintain my ground.

"Tobias, there's something else I need to say, and I don't want you jumping up and pacing all night."

"Okay," he says slowly. "What is it?"

"What if the attackers _aren't_ Dauntless, at least ... not anymore?" Maybe maneuvering myself onto his lap was not the best thinking. When I made my announcement he got up, forgetting I was there apparently, and practically flung me to the floor. Luckily I righted myself and didn't do any damage. He didn't even notice. He once again is pacing in front of me, muttering to himself so low that I have no idea what it is he's saying or trying to work out. He stops in his tracks and looks at me.

"What do you mean, not anymore?"

"When I first started going through the Dauntless personnel files I noticed that there's a file on _every_ member of Dauntless, past and present, which means dependents who transferred out, failed initiates, and members who are now factionless for one reason or another. What if we aren't looking for an _active_ member of Dauntless? What if we're looking for someone who knows their way around, like my mom knew her way around on visiting day?" He stares at me for a long minute then starts pacing again.

I lean back and try to make myself comfortable, it's going to be a long night. I rest my head on the arm of the soft microfiber couch as I pull my legs up and stretch them out in front of me. I can feel the anxiety radiating off of him and, by the look on his face, he's going to be pacing all night, just like I was afraid. I look at the brilliant little lights sparkling all over the Christmas tree and think about how much has changed in a single day. I feel my eyelids getting heavy and instead of fighting, I surrender.


	31. Chapter 31

My heavy eyelids flutter open and take in my surroundings. It must be just before dawn because there's just enough light in the room to make out that Tobias is lying in bed next to me gazing at the ceiling. He doesn't like it when I stare at him, but I take a chance and study his features anyway. He has dark shadows beneath his stormy blue eyes and two days' worth of stubble on the lower half of his face and neck. I don't think he's gotten more than a total of eight hours sleep in the past three nights. My bombshell of thinking that our attackers come from outside Dauntless has him on edge.

Monday and Tuesday both passed in the exact same way. Tobias and Zeke locked themselves in his office viewing hundreds of hours of Dauntless security feed recordings starting with the recordings from the approximate time of Hana's attack but they didn't see anything out of the ordinary. Then he started watching the recordings that were specifically of the list names. Zeke analyzed the recording of his mother's attackers. He determined that the first male was 6'3" tall and approximately 200 pounds and the second male was 5'9" tall and approximately 175 pounds. When he was done with his analysis, he started going through the backlog of security footage from the past few months looking for anything that can be useful. Tori and Will were covertly walking around under the guise of being available to talk to Dauntless members but they were actually checking faces against the sketches Tori made from Hana's memory. I emailed all the information about the upcoming leader's meeting to Tori and asked her to have Summer point out Gunner and pick up Tobias' Christmas present for me.

Tobias and I talked about my theory that these people are somehow not active members of Dauntless, and he thinks it has merit and after they go through all the security footage, they'll start going through the inactive files. I'm hoping that my doctor's appointment goes well so that I can go back to work and help them out. Other than that contribution, I've been useless, and it's taking a toll on me.

Tobias feels my gaze on his face and turns his head to look at me. We don't say anything, we just lock eyes. I don't know which one of us reaches for the other first but soon we are wrapped in each other's arms, bodies pressed tightly up against one another, hungry mouths moving together in perfect unison. I reach down and get my hands on the hem of his skintight black tank top he slept in last night. He breaks our kiss to let the fabric slide over his head, and then I feel his hungry mouth back on mine as I toss it aside. I let my hands roam over the muscles in his perfect chest and arms. I feel his hand move down and under my camisole and up to cover my bare chest, and I moan into his open mouth. The spark I felt when our lips first met is now a raging fire that threatens to consume me. He moves his hands to my hips then rolls us so I am on top of him. He gently slides his hands up and grasp the camisole and inches it up. He breaks our need‑filled kiss and looks up into my eyes. I can see myself mirrored in his dilated eyes as he continues taking my camisole off over my head and throws it on the floor. My mouth collides with his once again as I feel the new sensation of bare skin on bare skin. He runs his hands up my back and pulls me closer still.

A loud banging noise coming from downstairs pulls us out of our trance. He leans back and looks up into my eyes again and lets an expletive I've never heard before slip from his lips. He rolls us onto our sides, then gently kisses my lips once more and momentarily lets his eyes roam over my bare chest, causing me to blush crimson, before rolling out of bed. He picks his shirt up off the floor where I tossed it and slides it on over his head as he heads toward the door. I roll over onto my back, trying to catch my breath. Soon I realize I am lying here bare chested and move to the edge of the bed to retrieve my shirt and slip it back on. I get up and hop over to my crutches and make my way to the bathroom.

I know the moment has passed so I get ready for the day. I take a shower and dress in the clothes I laid out for myself the night before. I put on my usual makeup and brush my teeth. I look into the mirror for a while trying to decide what I want to do with my hair. I decide to just pull my bangs back away from my face with a barrette. I'm tired of the same buns and braids day in and day out. I need a change. I need something more … Dauntless. I know I'm actually just stalling right now because of what happened earlier. He's now seen my bare chest, and I'm a little shy about it. I take two deep breaths and open the bathroom door. I notice him sitting on the edge of our bed. When he sees me, he comes to the bathroom to meet me.

"Who was at the door?" I ask quietly.

"Zeke. There's a lead on Hana's attacker. He wanted to tell me as soon as possible," he says, not quite making eye contact. "Do you want to go downstairs while I take a shower?"

"Please," I say. He takes the crutches from me and leans them up against the wall and pulls me up into his arms. I wrap my arm around his neck to secure myself to him. He cradles me gently as he carries me down the stairs. He puts me on my feet in front of the couch; however, I'm careful not to put any weight on my right leg. He goes to turn back toward the staircase but I grab his hand, and he stops and looks back at me. I give him a bright smile and beckon him with my finger. He returns my smile and is in my arms in one step. His mouth lands on mine, gentler this time, the indescribable need gone. He picks me up and carries me to the island and sits me down.

"We keep getting interrupted," he says in between kisses. Right now he has his mouth on my neck, sending little shivers to the pit of my stomach. He pulls back and looks in my eyes. "I love you, Tris."

"I love you, too, Tobias. You should probably go take your shower. It sounds like Zeke needs you," I say with a sigh. I want to tell him I need him too, but I don't want to add to his stress. He helps me off of the island and over to the couch where I'll spend the majority of my day. "Don't forget my doctor's appointment at 12:30."

"It's on my calendar. I'll come home for lunch then take you to the infirmary after." He heads upstairs to get ready for the day. Now that the adrenaline is no longer flowing freely through my veins, fatigue sets in. I don't know what time it was when I woke up but it was most certainly earlier than I've been getting up. I lie down on the couch and tell myself I will rest my eyes until Tobias comes down to tell me about Hana's attacker.

The next thing I know my eyes spring open at the sound of an unusual noise. I listen for the noise again and when it comes the second time I realize someone's at the door. I holler out just a minute and look around, dazed. My crutches are leaning next to the love seat, and I see a note from Tobias on the table.

VI

I didn't want to bother you. You were sleeping so peacefully.

I'll see you at lunch.

I love you.

IV

I slowly make my way to the door and open it to an agitated Christina.

"Took you long enough," she mutters, pushing past me.

"Sorry, I was asleep. What time is it?" I say with a yawn. I can't wait to get back to my old routine. I was never this tired before.

"A little after 10 a.m.," she says holding a garment bag and two smaller sacks.

"Oh, my dress. Thank you so much," I say, taking it from her and laying it over the back of the loveseat as she lowers herself into the oversized club chair she loves so much. I sit down next to the garment bag and unzip it to find an exquisite dress. It's black, of course, with a halter neck, keyhole chest, tiered crinoline ruffles, and jeweled neckline & waist or at least that's what Christina tells me, sounding like a diligent salesperson, as I'm gazing at it.

"I went with a timeless design for you. The keyhole chest and the fact it's sleeveless will show some skin but not too much for a Stiff like you," she says with a grin on her face. I can't help but return her smile. "I think the ruffles are fun, flirty, and young but also elegant. Plus I fell in love with the different shades of black jewels on the neck and waist. Now look at your shoes!" she says excitedly. I pull a shoebox out of one of the sacks and open it. Inside are a pair of black ballet flats that are adorned with the same kind of jewels that are on the dress in a simple floral pattern. They, too, are absolutely gorgeous.

"I love the shoes. They're perfect for this dress. I knew I had nothing to worry about with you picking an outfit out for me. You know me so well. Do I dare look in the other sack?" I ask with a grin.

"It's just some lingerie designed to go under the dress. If you wore a regular bra, the straps would show, so I got you a halter bra and matching boy shorts. I swear I'm going to get you in a thong one day!" I shake my head at her. _That_ is never going to happen.

"Christina, can I ask you to do something for me?" I tentatively say. "I want it to be a surprise for Four."

"Sure, what is it?" she asks, curiosity alive in her eyes.

"I want a different hairstyle. I was looking at myself in the mirror this morning, trying to figure out what to do with my hair and something dawned on me. I've had this same hairstyle my entire life. When I look in the mirror, I still see Beatrice, and I wanna see Tris," I say. "Will you help me?" She squeals in delight and leans forward in the chair.

"This is so exciting! Do you have any ideas what you want?" she asks. "There are so many colors and styles!"

"I'm not really sure. I know I loved the curls you gave me for the welcome party but I'm not sure if I want curls all the time."

"I know what we'll do. When you get cleared from the doctor you can come to the salon, and we'll run the hairstyle simulation program on you."

"Hairstyle simulation?" I ask. I've never heard of that. Of course, my mom cut my hair every three months for at least 15 years so I don't have any experience with salons.

"We take your picture and enter it into a program. Then it shows you what you will look like with different hairstyle and color options. It'll be so fun! I've never gotten a chance to try it out on anyone."

"When do you work there next?" I ask, suddenly excited at the prospect of a change.

"My next shift starts after lunch today then I don't work there again until next week," she replies.

"Maybe I can talk Four into letting me walk to the doctor's appointment then I could swing by after. Do I need to make an appointment?"

"Just text me if you'll be able to make it," she says as she absentmindedly rubs her stomach.

"How are you doing, Christina?" I say, eyeing her hands.

"I had my first bout of morning sickness yesterday afternoon. I really don't know why they call it 'morning sickness,' it can hit at any time of the day according to the pamphlet Isobel gave me. I was fine one minute and the next, some lady's perfume had me yacking in the bathroom. It was quite embarrassing that it happened at work. I ran off from her in the middle of a sentence. She was not happy at first, but she understood when I told her I'm pregnant and something made me sick. I was nice enough not to tell her it was her but I thought about it. The Candor in me wanted to!" She laughs at the memory. "I know it might be my imagination but I think I'm starting to show. The pamphlet says around five months and I'm only a little over three months." I think it might be in her head because she's still wearing the same skintight clothes she's adopted since she got to Dauntless, and she doesn't look any different but I keep my opinion to myself. We are so involved in our conversation we both jump when Tobias walks through the door. He gives us an odd look then smiles slightly.

"God, Four, you could make more noise coming through a door," Christina says holding a hand over her heart. "You nearly scared us half to death!" Her eyes get wide when she notices the clock next to Tobias' head. "I've got to get down to the cafeteria. I'm glad you like your dress, Tris. I'll see you soon." She gives me a conspiratorial wink, I smile in return, and she walks out the door.

"Hormones," I say to Tobias when he gives me a questioning look. He just shrugs at that answer. He walks over to the kitchen in silence, something obviously on his mind. I've learned over the past few months not to try to pull information out of him. He'll divulge what's on his mind in his own time. I get up from where I'm sitting and go to my spot at the island. He must not have heard me because he jumps a little when he realizes I'm closer than he thought.

"I'm sorry. I guess you and Christina aren't the only jumpy ones today," he says somberly. He slides a bowl of heated potato soup across the island to me. He brings two spoons with him when he sits down beside me. I take my spoon and quickly finish my bowl. Once again, it's been too many hours since I've eaten. When he finishes his, he puts our dirty dishes in the dishwasher then he goes to the refrigerator and retrieves the last slice of chocolate cake we pilfered from the cafeteria a few days ago. He comes back to me and sits the cake between us. We eat in silence. I look up at him several times but he seems a million miles away. Finally I catch his eyes, and he smiles tiredly at me.

"I'm sorry I'm not good company right now, Tris," he says sounding more like he did when I first met him instead of the man I've come to know over the past few months. "Zeke found one of Hana's assailants on video outside of the commissary a week before her attack. That's the lead he was talking about. We still don't know who he is, but we have an actual photograph now instead of a sketch. I have to give it to Hana though, her memory of him was spot on. There's hardly a difference between the two. Zeke and I have been going back through old footage of the people from the first list, seeing if any faces pop up a large number of times. Did you know Peter follows you around?" A fixed Four look is set on his face, and the knuckles on his hands are turning white from the pressure of his balled up fists. He looks murderously angry at this moment, and I shrink back involuntarily.

"Peter?" I ask, memories of my initiation tormentor flooding back to me. My heart rate speeds as adrenaline starts to course through my veins for the second time today. "Peter has been following _me_ around? How have we not noticed this before?"

"I honestly don't know but the proof was right there on the screens today. He seems to be lurking around in 75% of the video we have on you."

"Have you watched your videos? Has anyone been lurking around you?" I ask.

"Zeke watched my videos and he didn't see anyone more than once or twice, except for Peter," he says, hate noticeable in his voice.

"So Peter's watching us both, not just me," I say. I'm not sure why, but this makes me even angrier. If Peter were to hurt Tobias I would kill him. There isn't a person in Dauntless who could stop me.

"I'm confident he's actually only watching you. He never shows up on my solo video only when we're together."

"If, in the moment, we catch him following us, can we stop him? Would that be evidence enough to get his DNA at least?" I know he isn't one of the attackers because his face doesn't match either of the sketches, and he hasn't been in Dauntless long enough to have killed Amar or George but I would feel better getting _someone's_ DNA. I look into his eyes and see a mixture of fear for me and anger at Peter and this impossible situation we didn't know we were inheriting when we signed up to be Dauntless leaders.

"How do we balance it all, Tobias?" I ask. "We can't keep going on like this. No offense, but you look like hell. You aren't sleeping. Me, I'm being eaten alive by guilt and sleeping all the time. There _has_ to be a balance." He gets up from the island and takes the cake plate and spoons to the dishwasher. He paces in the kitchen for a while. He abruptly stops and looks at me for a long moment. He slowly walks over and stands in front of me.

"What do you have to be guilty about, Tris?"

"First of all, I hurt myself and took us both away from our jobs enabling those monsters to _kill_ someone. I have to live with that the rest of my life," I say, anger creeping into my voice. "Second, I didn't take your numerous warnings during initiation seriously, and I wound up on _someone's_ radar. Now you are in danger from Peter because of it." Unthinking, I try to ball both my hands into fists, sending a shooting pain through my left hand.

"I'm not in danger from Peter," he says smugly.

"Yes, you are. Don't underestimate him. He's sneaky and poisonous. I remember what his punches feel like, Tobias, and he always seems to enlist help when he's attacking someone. He could catch you off guard or you could get hurt trying to protect me. Please keep yourself safe. I can't live without you," I say as I lean forward and wrap my arms around his neck. I pull his mouth to mine and kiss him gently at first. I force his mouth open with mine then push my tongue inside and let it glide over his. As the kiss deepens I pull him closer to me wanting to fill this intense need that is now humming through me. He pulls back breathless and extricates himself from my arms.

"Tobias," I moan, the inexplicable need evident in my voice. He shakes his head at me and turns around, still trying to catch his breath. Finally, he turns back to me. He leans forward placing his hands on either side of me on the island making me lean back.

"That kiss was leading somewhere we don't have time to go," he says with a gleam in his eyes, "unless you _want_ to skip you doctor's appointment, Tris."


	32. Chapter 32

"Damn, I forgot about the stupid doctor's appointment," I mutter as I lay my head on Tobias' shoulder. He tenses up from the contact but soon relaxes himself. He straightens up and soon I find my head resting on his chest and his arms wrapped around me. After a few minutes I pull back and look up at him. "We should probably get going. I want to walk down. I'm hoping he'll at least let me try walking with my crutches, so I better have them with me. Also, we aren't done with our conversation."

"You interrupted our conversation with that damn kiss," he says, his eyes glossing over with lust. He shakes his head, clearing it and frowns at me. "I don't like the idea of you having to walk all the way to the infirmary on crutches."

"Please let me try. We'll call it an upper body workout," I tease. "I can't wait until we're back to our normal schedule of runs and workouts." He crosses the floor and retrieves my crutches from by the loveseat. He notices the dress laying across the back of the loveseat and smiles.

"I like that. Is it for Saturday night?" he asks.

"Yeah. It's pretty isn't it? Christina did such a wonderful job picking it out for me. She knows me so well. She called it a timeless design."

"It's perfect," he says, giving me my crutches. "We'll finish our conversation later, but please try not to worry so much about me. I've been pretty good at taking care of myself."

"That's the beauty of this relationship, Tobias," I say, my voice filled with love. "You aren't alone. You don't have to take care of yourself alone. We get to take care of each other. We are stronger and better together. You've said so yourself." He kisses me again before we head out the door.

We slowly walk to the infirmary talking about this and that, nothing important. He lets us take frequent breaks as walking this far on crutches with a broken hand is not easy. My underarms are hurting where the crutches rest, and I can already tell the muscles in my arms are going to be sore later. I was teasing Tobias about this being an upper body workout, but I think I may have been right. We finally make it to the infirmary and tell the reception desk nurse we're here. We sit in the basic bright white waiting room waiting for my name to be called when a familiar looking petite, extremely pretty, red-haired, and green-eyed woman walks through the double doors and calls my name.

"Isobel?" I ask, surprised to see her here. "I didn't know you were Dauntless."

"Oh, I'm not. I'm just helping out today. The infirmary was short, and the clinic sent me over. It's nice to see you again, Tris. Four," she says acknowledging Tobias. "You can follow me. Dr. Parrish wants to get new x-rays of your shoulders, right ankle, left leg, right and left hands, and your head. Four if you could wait in this room, I will bring Tris back when she's finished." Tobias goes into the small, sterile examination room Isobel motioned toward to wait for me, and she leads me to the now familiar x-ray room. She lets me sit down on the examination table while we wait for the technician.

"Is everything working out with your birth control shot? Have you had any side effects?" she asks. I'm surprised by her question and turn a pale shade of red.

"I didn't have any side effects when I got it but we haven't tested its effectiveness," I say shyly. "We got it so we would be protected when we're ready to have sex." It amazes me that the subject of sex is much easier to talk about with her. Maybe it's because she's a nurse, and I don't have to see her every day.

"You are very responsible for your age. Most young people I've met don't think about birth control until _after_ they've started having sex. I'm impressed," she says. Just then a short blonde-haired girl with a single hoop piercing in her left eyebrow, who looks about 18 years old, enters the room and introduces herself as Sary. She tells me that she'll be taking my x-rays and places the familiar heavy lead apron over my chest, explaining that it's to protect me from the radiation. She puts me in several positions and takes several views each of my hands, legs, ankles, and my head. She takes the apron off and takes a few views of each shoulder. After Sary is done with me, Isobel takes me back to the examination room to wait for Dr. Parrish.

"Are you going to live?" Tobias asks when Isobel leaves the room. It seems like a good mood has finally returned to him. I smile brightly at him and stick my tongue out.

"I think it's still touch and go. We'll have to see," I tease back. After about half-an-hour, Dr. Parrish enters the room and picks up my chart.

"Good afternoon, Tris. Four. I've reviewed your x-rays. Your head and left leg films look great. Have you had any residual headaches from the concussion?" he asks, gently feeling around on my forehead.

"No, I haven't," I reply.

"The bone bruise is no longer visible on the films. Any pain here?" he says as he presses around on my left shin. I shake my head no. "Your shoulder films look great. Are you doing the exercises I gave you?"

"Yes I am, three times a day just as you instructed."

"And how is the pain level in your shoulders?" I haven't thought about my physical pain the past couple of days with the emotional turmoil enveloping me so I have to concentrate to see how I'm feeling.

"Right now they don't hurt at all even after walking the entire way here on crutches. I've noticed that during the day they run a 0-1/10 but by the end of the day they both run a 1-2/10."

"Very good. They have come a long way in a very short period of time but I would like you to continue the exercises. Go ahead and double the reps," he says, referring to my chart again. "Your right hand x-ray shows no anomalies. The three hairline fractures in the left hand are still evident, although they have almost completely healed. You will have to remain in the air splint for approximately one to two more weeks. Are you having any problems with the hand?"

"Not really. Sometimes I forget it's broken, and I try to abruptly move it a certain way and pain shoots into my arm. Otherwise, it doesn't hurt at all."

"Great," he says sounding pleased then a look of concern lands on his face. "I'm still worried about the ankle, Tris. Have you put any weight on it?"

"The last time I put weight on it was right after the accident when it wouldn't hold me up," I say, anxiety in my voice.

"Didn't you put weight on it the other morning when we got the news about Hana?" Tobias asks.

"Oh yeah, I did and it hurt," I say to the doctor. "I'm lucky that Four was standing where he was, he caught me when I fell."

"Okay then. Here are your crutches. Let's get you off of the examination table and see if you can handle some weightbearing today." He hands me my crutches and helps me down off the examination table. I put the crutches firmly under my arms to catch me if I can't hold myself up when I take a step. I move the crutches out and then take my first intentional step on my right foot in over a week. I feel pain in the ankle but it isn't unbearable and it holds me up, which is good.

"It hurts but it isn't unbearable. Maybe a 2-3/10," I say anticipating his next question. He smiles at my statement. He asks me to take a few more steps out into the hallway. Then he has me walk to the last doorway on the right, turn around, and walk back. When I return he ushers me back into the examination room.

"Now how is the pain?" he asks.

"5/10," I say feeling the familiar throb in my ankle. Dr. Parrish leans against the wall and looks at me for a moment.

"I want you to practice minimal weightbearing for the next three days. Use your crutches to help take the weight off the ankle. I would like to see you here Saturday morning at 9:00 a.m. to see how the ankle is doing." He goes to walk out of the room but turns back to us. "I'm going to give you some new prescriptions. Take the muscle relaxers twice a day, the anti-inflammatories four times a day, and the pain pills every six hours as needed. This is a lesser strength pain pill that doesn't have the severe side effects the other one had. No work. Ice the ankle as much as you can. Don't forget the shoulder exercises. Do you have any questions for me?" Tobias and I look at each other, and I know he can read my mind.

"What about sex?" Tobias asks and I blush crimson.

"Ah. Sex is fine, just be careful of the ankle. Is there anything else?"

"I know you said no work, but if I take it easy can I at least take some meals in the cafeteria or go to a shop or the tattoo parlor?" I ask. He thinks for a moment.

"I don't have a problem with that. Just take it easy. _Minimal_ weightbearing, Tris. Use those crutches. I would, however, like you to spend most of your time at home, resting." He turns and walks out of the examination room leaving us alone. I look at Tobias, and he's already looking at me. Suddenly I realize that if I wanted him to take me home and make love to me we could. Desire flows through my veins as color climbs into my cheeks.

"Do I need to ask what you're thinking about?" he roughly asks. I slowly shake my head at him. He steps closer to me and puts his hands on my face. "I'm truly tempted, Tris, but I have to get back to work."

"I know. Plus Christina said she wanted to show me something if I was released from sitting in the apartment 24/7," I say with a chuckle. Suddenly, he has a very unhappy look on his face.

"Do you think I'm going to let you wander the halls of Dauntless with killers roaming around and Peter watching your every move," he says angrily, trying not to raise his voice. His abrupt change in mood catches me off guard.

"Peter's in Candor today with Uriah, remember?" I say, trying to remain calm myself. "He isn't an issue. Plus I'll be with Christina. I can spend the afternoon with her, and we can meet in the cafeteria at 6 p.m. Then you can take me home. There, no roaming the hallways for me." I really want to get my hair done this afternoon as a surprise, and I don't want to tell him where I'm going. "I'm _going_ to see Christina, Four."

"Tris," he says indignantly. "You can't." Oh, that does it. Rage replaces the desire that was just moving through my veins seconds ago and surges through my entire body. I take a step forward until we are almost touching and glare up at him.

" _You_ are _not_ my father, _Four_. You can't tell me what I can and cannot do. If you will excuse me, _I_ have somewhere else to be." I grasp my crutches too firmly and pain shoots through my left hand. A curse slips past my lips but I keep going. I figure he'll try to stop me but I'm wrong. I walk from the infirmary to the salon probably faster than Dr. Parrish would like, ask the first person I see for Christina, then sit in a black well-padded leather waiting room chair and sulk.

"I thought I told you to text me," she says when she sees it's me who asked for her.

"Sorry, I forgot," I mutter.

"Hey, are you okay?" she asks when she reads my face. As I get up to follow Christina, I notice Tobias walk past the salon. So he _did_ follow me. Well now he knows where I'll be all afternoon.

"I had a fight with Four," I say. "Is Will driving you crazy because of ... you know what?" I say realizing there are people milling around everywhere. I can't exactly talk openly about Dauntless' problems here. I see men and women in various length black silk robes getting haircuts, dye jobs, manicures, pedicures, and some other things I honestly don't recognize.

"He's twice as protective," she says rubbing her abdomen. Awe, he's worried about her and the baby. I should give Tobias the benefit of the doubt, he just wants to keep me safe but I'm too frustrated right now.

"He wanted me to go back to the apartment and twiddle my thumbs for another week. I can't do it. I'm about to explode." She laughs at my sudden outburst, and I glare at her.

"Here let's take your picture and get you into a robe. I'll give you a full spa experience while you think about what to do with your hair."

First, she takes me to a machine that takes a 3D rendering of my head and enters it into the hairstyle simulation program, and then she takes me to a small dressing room with a fancy red and black velvet chaise lounge. There's a built-in wardrobe in the wall. She tells me to take off all my clothes and put them in the wardrobe. She then hands me a black silk robe like all the other clients are wearing and tells me to put it on. I do as I'm told then hobble back out on my crutches.

While the program is rendering, she drags me to a booth full of fancy little nail polish bottles in every color you can imagine and some that would never cross your mind. Being extremely careful of my ankle, she gives me a pedicure and then paints my toenails a dark shade of pink. While the toenail polish is drying she turns her attention to my fingernails. She looks over the three fingers that lost their nails the day of my accident. With all my other injuries, I kind of forgot about those. She gently cleans them and tells me about a new product invented by Erudite. It's a false fingernail for just this situation. Apparently, more people in Dauntless lose fingernails than one would think. She puts a glue film over my finger where the nail is missing then puts a fake fingernail over the film. It adheres the nail to my finger and, after, I can't tell that it isn't my natural nail. She then puts a special solvent on the nail, and it falls right off. The glue film disintegrates, and my finger doesn't look or feel any different than it did before. She gives me a manicure then puts the false fingernails on and paints all my nails the same color of dark pink as my toenails. Even though I said I would never do it again, Christina talks me into getting waxed in all the important places. She tells me it's one less thing she'll have to do on Saturday. It didn't hurt any less than it did the very first time, and I idly wonder if I will ever get used to the stinging pain of having all my hair ripped out at once. Then she gives me a full-body massage that relaxes every tense muscle, even the ones I didn't know I had. I didn't think I could be this unruffled with all the stress I've been under. I happily tell her this needs to become part of my permanent routine.

Next she tells me the program has come up with several different ideas for hairstyles and hair colors for me based on my face shape and coloring. She takes me to her station and sits me opposite a huge black framed mirror and counters full of drawers and doors. I study my face while she turns the computer on and pulls up the images she is looking for. I look extremely relaxed. My eyes are sparkling. There's a look of anticipation on my face. I know it's about the new hairstyle but then Tobias enters my mind and a blush of a different anticipation colors my face. Christina notices this too.

"What are you thinking about, as if I have to ask?" she asks, shaking her head, smiling like the Cheshire cat from an old movie Tobias has.

"I was thinking about Four," I say blushing an even deeper shade of red. I don't want to continue this conversation in a public place so I change the subject. "What has the program come up with for me?" I hear her mutter once a Stiff, always a Stiff so low I think I might have imagined it.

"Let's see," she says looking down at the monitor. She turns it so I can see the screen, too, before she continues. "The program has come up with 97 different ideas for you." Looking at all the pictures of myself with different styles and hair colors is overwhelming. The styles are all different and intriguing in their own way. Some are only slightly longer than Lynn's hairstyle while others are the same length my hair is right now. I look at all the unusual colors and ask Christina if there's a way to eliminate those. I'm not ready for bright purple hair even though I want to look more Dauntless. She types something into the program and 43 styles all in my natural color remain. One catches my eye immediately, and no matter how many others I look at, I keep coming back to it. I ask her to enlarge the picture and I gasp. The picture is absolutely amazing. She shows me what the style looks like from every angle imaginable with the flick of a mouse.

"What do you think?" I hesitantly ask her.

"I think it's great. I really like it. Can I show you something I think will make it even better?" She clicks the mouse on the picture a few times bringing up a color chart and soon the picture looks slightly different. I stare for a while. Instead of my boring blonde, the base color is a light golden brown with honey-colored highlights and pale blonde-colored lowlights. It isn't a radical change like bright orange or neon blue but an enhancing change nonetheless. I nod my head at her, unable to say anything, and she claps her hands lightly and bounces up and down with glee.

She starts by getting all her necessary tools out to cut my hair. First, she takes a comb and makes a deep part on my right side. She then puts my hair lightly into a ponytail at the nape of my neck, and together we figure out what length I want. I decide to go just a little longer than the picture so I can pull it back into a ponytail whenever I run or workout. She slides the rubber band up to about three inches below my shoulders then takes out a pair of cutting shears. She meets my eyes in the mirror, and I nod to her. She cuts straight across just above the rubber band leaving my hair just slightly longer than shoulder length. She then hands me the almost 18 inches of hair she just cut off. I hold it tightly in my right hand as I watch her shape my hair with a razor blade into a shoulder-length choppy bob with various lengths. She then cuts my long bangs into side fringe. Then she takes a thinning tool and thins my hair, creating an image exactly like the one on the computer screen.

Next she works on coloring my hair. She mixes bottles of chemicals and lets it set for a few minutes. I think I'm more nervous about this step than I was getting it cut as I've never had my hair colored before. She applies the color all over my head using a paint brush, wrapping sections of hair in foil as she goes, making me look quite comical. After she's done with the base color she sits me under a dryer for 10 minutes to let the color penetrate the hair. When the buzzer goes off I'm thankful. I now know what a foil-covered dish feels like in the oven. She brings me back to her station and gently unwraps all my hair then she rinses the color and styles it the way she just cut it giving me pointers the entire time about how to duplicate it and sits me under the dryer again to let my hair dry. When it's dry, she brings me back to the chair and starts the process all over again with the highlights and lowlights. She decides where the color will look the best, concentrating on the hair that frames my face and applies the highlights and lowlights with the same method she used to apply the color only on smaller strands. Once again I find myself under the dryer with my head partially wrapped in foil wondering if this was actually a good idea. Finally the buzzer goes off and Christina brings me to her station again but this time she keeps my back toward the mirror the entire time, oddly reminding me of Abnegation when my mom would cut my hair and it was the only time I _could_ look in a mirror. She unwraps my hair from the foil then rinses out the chemicals. She towel dries my hair. Then she uses a hand-held hair dryer to dry and style my newly cut tresses.

"Are you ready to see the new you?" she asks, excitement visible on her face. I nod and she turns me around. The person staring back at me in the mirror looks like me but doesn't. She has the same blue-gray eyes I do only they're slightly darker, prettier, and sparkling brightly with excitement. Her features don't look too big for her face like mine do. The hair color isn't a drastic change by Dauntless standards but it complements her complexion perfectly. Christina made some of the honey-colored highlights and pale blond-colored lowlights wider around her face, especially down her uneven bangs, making them stand out. This person looks older, fierce, and confident ... definitely Dauntless. I know I'm looking at myself but I'm having a hard time equating plain ole Beatrice with this beauty in front of me.

"Do you like it?" Christina asks. I shake my head no, and her face immediately falls. I turn the stylist chair around and spring out of it. I wrap my arms around her, startling her, and give her a huge hug.

"I love it," I finally choke out when I find my words. I try to blink back the tears that are threatening to escape but a couple fall anyway. Christina hugs me back fiercely.

"I can't wait to see the look on Four's face," she says.

"Neither can I," I admit. "I'm going to head to the cafeteria right now so I beat him there."

"Uh, you might want to get dressed first, Tris," she says, rolling her eyes at me. I look down at myself realizing I almost walked out of the salon into the Pit wearing nothing more than a short black silk robe.


	33. Chapter 33

I go to the small dressing room at the back of the salon and exchange the short black silky robe for the outfit I wore today: Black and dark gray pinstriped knit pants, a form-fitting long-sleeved dark gray T-shirt with a peekaboo geometric cutout along the neckline that show off my ravens perfectly, and my favorite black fur-lined ankle boots. I get dressed in a hurry wanting to beat Tobias to the cafeteria, excitement growing with each passing second. I can't _wait_ to see the look on his face! I charge my afternoon makeover and impromptu spa day to my identification card, giving Christina a generous tip for working me in unscheduled then we walk slowly to the cafeteria, passersby giving me double takes as we go. I can't keep the blush off my face at all the extra attention.

Upon entering the dining hall, I realize no one is at our table yet, and I silently celebrate. Christina and I sit side-by-side waiting for the others. We're talking about Saturday's Christmas party when Uriah sits down at the table with two slices of Dauntless cake and nothing else. He looks at me then _he_ gives me a double take with his eyes bugging out of his head.

" _Nice_ hair, Tris. I didn't even recognize you," he says, looking at me a little too close for my comfort. Out of the corner of my eye, I see Peter sit down at the end of the metal cafeteria table behind Uriah. Why have I never noticed him lurking before? This baffles me. Maybe it's because he's totally unremarkable that I haven't noticed. He sits apart from the other Dauntless members already seated at the table like he doesn't know any of them. I feel his gaze on me, and I look up and meet his dark green eyes. He ogles for a minute, then looks away. I try to concentrate on the conversation occurring at our now crowded table but Peter's penetrating stare is making me increasingly uncomfortable but I will never let him know that. I didn't know the news Tobias gave me of Peter's skulking caused me any distress, but apparently it has. I want to hide away from his eyes and take a shower to wash his gaze off.

" _Tris_?" Tobias asks, confusion evident in his voice, as he lays his hand on my shoulder. I look up into his dazed dark blue eyes through the fringe of my new bangs. He stares open mouthed at me. Laughter circles our table as he stands there gawking. I've never seen him this flustered out in public before. He's always so controlled. He finally lowers himself onto the bench beside me. He drops his shock-filled eyes down, taking in what I'm wearing then slowly lets them glide all the way back up to the top of my head. I swear I will burst into flames from the trail of heat he just left with his piercing gaze. He once again lowers his eyes to mine and finally regains his composure, shutting his mouth.

"Four," I say, putting my hand on his knee.

"Wow ... you look ... _wow_ ," he says, gravelly voiced. "I've always thought you were absolutely the most beautiful person I've ever met but you are ... wow!"

"Thank you," I say, moving my hand up his thigh. I lean forward and put my lips up against his left ear and whisper, "You want to get out of here?" I feel him straighten up beside me, and I lean back and look into his eyes, which are full of anger. What in the world could I have done? I wonder if he's still mad at me for storming out of the infirmary earlier.

"I don't like how Peter is looking at you," he says. I don't either. It makes me remember the night of the attack and the feel of his hands on me. I shudder at the memory.

"Four, I hate to break it to you but every man with a pulse in this place is staring at Tris right now," Zeke says, getting another laugh from all our friends but a glare from Tobias. Once again, _I_ blush crimson.

"I would love to get out of here," he says only to me. He helps me get up from the table, and we say goodnight to our friends. I thank Christina for the wonderful afternoon, and Tobias and I walk toward the cafeteria exit. I feel a gaze burning into the back of my head and turn meeting Peter's fiery stare once again. Tobias wraps his arm protectively but loosely around my shoulder when he notices Peter looking at me again then he shoots daggers at him. I wouldn't mind if he was using _real_ daggers right now.

Once we get out of the cafeteria, I feel him physically calm down. On our way to the path, we stop by the little takeout place and get ourselves a large pepperoni pizza we will bake once we get home since neither one of us ate anything in the cafeteria. I notice Tobias is looking at me more than he is the path, which makes me increasingly nervous. I don't want him going over the side like I did.

"Tobias, could you _please_ watch where you are going and stop staring at me," I say when I'm 100% sure we're alone. "I don't want you falling like I did." He laughs a little but obliges my whim. We talk about this and that until we get to the stairs that take us to our apartment. I haven't tried stairs yet with the crutches, and the sight of them intimidate me a little. I'm looking at the metal steps with a frown on my face trying to figure out how to maneuver them when I hear him sigh. He runs up the stairs two at a time and comes back down almost immediately, his hands free of the pizza box. He takes my crutches from me and leans them against the wall then swings me up into his arms. He gently places his lips against mine and kisses me as he expertly maneuvers us up the stairs. He carries me down the hallway to our apartment never once taking his lips off mine. He somehow manages to open the door and carry me into the apartment then deposits me on the couch before we break our kiss. He looks down at me for a minute then groans. He leaves the apartment and comes back with my crutches. He locks the door behind him and heads to the kitchen to put the pizza in to bake.

I scoot to the far end of the couch and grab the Christmas tree remote and turn on the dancing lights. I see Tobias set the kitchen timer for the pizza then he comes to the living room and sits down on the couch right next to me. I put my legs over his right leg, and he puts his arm on the couch behind me and his left hand across my legs resting it on my right thigh.

"What made you decide to do this?" he asks, running his hand through my hair.

"I wanted a change. I was looking at myself this morning trying to figure out what to do with my hair, and I realized Beatrice was the one who was staring back at me, and I wanted to see Tris instead. Christina helped me pick a style and cut and colored my hair. Do you like it? I wanted it to be a surprise."

"It definitely was a surprise. I didn't recognize you when I came into the cafeteria. I thought someone was sitting in your seat until I saw your ravens," he says gliding his fingertips across each of my tattoos, sending a shiver down my spine. "You look ... there are no words for the way you look. Beautiful, always so beautiful." The blush that so easily colors my cheeks returns as he plays with my hair. "I'm sorry I got angry with you after your doctor's appointment. The thought of losing you makes me absolutely crazy. I shouldn't have told you that you couldn't go to see Christina. It isn't my place to tell you what you can and cannot do. That was wrong. I don't ever want to treat you like I'm your father. Thank _God_ I'm not your father." I lace the fingers of my right hand with the fingers of his hand that is resting on my thigh.

"What are we going to do about all this added stress, Tobias? It's taking its toll on both of us, physically _and_ emotionally. We need a distraction or something," I say. "You know, Christina gave me a full-body massage today at the salon and, after I was done, I didn't have a care in the world. I told her I was going to make it a part of my regular routine. You should try one."

"I really wouldn't feel comfortable having a stranger's hands on me but _you_ can put your hands on me anytime. I'd be open to that," he says, a twinkle in his eyes. I can't help but smile at him. I think about how the massage helped me, and I think it would help Tobias to relax.

"Yeah, I would try giving you a massage," I say to him. "I've never given one before but I think I can figure it out."

"You can do anything you put your mind to, you know that, right? I've watched you pull off extraordinary feats for the past five months that I thought would break you, and they only made you stronger. I love you so damn much. Come here," he says as he pulls me toward him. His hungry mouth lands on mine just as the buzzer for the pizza goes off. He hangs his head in defeat. " _Damn_ interruptions." I can't help myself and a giggle escapes my lips. He looks at me and his eyes narrow.

"I'm sorry," I say leaning up and kissing him quickly on the mouth. I move my feet and lean over and get my crutches from the loveseat. I go to get up and he crosses his arms, giving me a dirty look. "What?"

"What do you think you are doing?" he asks.

"Um, getting the pizza out of the oven. You've been waiting on me hand and foot for over a week, let me get this for once. We'll eat and then go upstairs," I tell him with a shy smile. He returns my smile and another shiver runs down my spine. I go to the kitchen and get two plates out of the cabinet then I get the pizza out of the oven. I cut it into eight perfect slices and put a couple pieces on each plate and slide them across the island to where Tobias is now sitting. I then get two bottles of water out of the refrigerator and slide them to him as well. He moves my plate and water in front of my seat, and I make my way to his side to sit down. We eat our supper while he talks about his afternoon.

He and Zeke went through more surveillance video until they were all caught up. Each of the names on the first list, except for him and Daniel Parks, seems to have someone keeping tabs on their every move. I suggest that maybe Samaire inserted herself into Daniel's life to keep track of him and maybe she really did fall in love, either that or she's one hell of a good actress.

"Just be careful of Peter. Promise? He tried to kill you once," he says as he finishes his second slice of pizza. He gets up and gets himself another slice of pizza then puts the rest of it in the refrigerator after asking me if I want more. He cleans the kitchen up while he eats his third slice.

"I'll be careful, I promise," I say sliding my plate across the island so he can put it in the dishwasher. "Tell me something though, Tobias, why do you think you don't have someone following you around or do you think maybe Peter _is_ killing two birds with one stone, so to speak, because we are together most of the time." He looks at me very thoughtfully and smiles.

"I know I dismissed that once, but you very well could be right. He probably has been watching us both because we're rarely apart. He's in well over 50% of my video." He turns off the kitchen light after he wipes off the island then comes to pick me up. I put my head on his shoulder and memorize how I feel in his arms. He turns the Christmas tree lights off and carefully carries me up the dark stairs. When we get to the upstairs hallway he carries me straight to the bathroom so I can get ready for bed. I ask him to bring me some clean pajamas since there aren't any in the bathroom and he does.

I catch my reflection in the mirror and stare. I don't look like myself anymore, and it startles me but I can't lie, I love the new look. I feel stronger, more Dauntless. I wash my face and brush my teeth, twice, to get all the pizza flavor out of my mouth. Then I put on the pajamas Tobias brought me, a silky pair of black and white polka dot pants with a matching silk and lace camisole top.

I open the bathroom door but don't see my crutches anywhere so I holler at Tobias, and he carries me the rest of the way into the bedroom and deposits me on the already turned down bed. I ask him to hand me my bottle of coconut butter lotion he bought for me earlier this year at an Amity booth at the farmer's market from on top of the dresser before he goes to the bathroom to get ready for bed. While he's out of the room I massage the lotion into the bare skin of my arms and chest trying to calm the emerging nervousness. He still isn't out of the bathroom yet so I put some lotion on my legs and stomach making sure it's well absorbed before letting my pajamas fall to their original positions. I sit on the bed trying not to think about what might happen tonight when he comes into the room. He stops a few feet away from the bed, nervous energy coming off him in waves.

"Take your shirt off, Tobias," I tell him, motioning to his skintight black tank top. He puts his hands on the hem and slowly raises it over his head, causing my breath to catch in my throat. After I can speak again, I tell him to lie down closer to the middle of the bed on his stomach. He does as he's told, lying down near the middle of the bed but still on his side, resting his head on his crossed arms. I lean over and kiss his exposed cheek. Then I straddle him being careful of my ankle and sit on his bottom so I have full access to his entire back.

"I'm not too heavy am I?" I softly ask. He shakes his head but doesn't say a word.

I try to remember everything Christina did to me this afternoon so I can duplicate it for Tobias. I pour some of my luxurious lotion into the palm of one hand then rub both hands together, warming it to make the sensation better. I then lean forward and put my hands on his left shoulder and knead his muscles, working the lotion into his skin. At first he tenses under my touch but soon his body feels like a well-muscled limp rag beneath my hands. I continue each deliberate move until I have worked all the knots out of each muscle in his neck and back.

After replacing the cap on my lotion and tossing it aside, I lie down on top of him and whisper in his ear, "Tobias." I don't get a response so I lean to the right a bit and notice his eyes are closed. I sit back up, gazing at the chiseled muscles of his back, and soon recognize the steady rise and fall of his sleeping body and can't believe I relaxed him enough that he fell asleep. So much for our first time being tonight but I can't be angry or even disappointed. He really needs to get some sleep. I gently get off him making sure I don't wake him and slide myself out of bed. Then I carefully pull the covers up over his sleeping form. I walk over to the light switch, putting as little weight on my right ankle as I can since my crutches are still nowhere to be found, and turn the lights off. I then make my way back to our bed and slide in beside Tobias and curl up and sleep beside him all night.

I wake up to the scrumptious smell of bacon wafting throughout the apartment. I look at the clock on the nightstand and see it's almost 7:30 in the morning. I stretch and swing my feet over the side of the bed. There, not quite three feet away from me, are my crutches. I can't help but smile at them and the fact Tobias made sure they were within arm's length. I take a hesitant step on my right foot after I retrieve the crutches and pain shoots up into my leg. _How long is this going to take to heal?_

I get myself to the bathroom where I go through my regular morning routine. I put on my makeup and style my wet hair the way Christina showed me yesterday then dry it. I look around the bathroom and realize I didn't lay out any clothes last night like I've been doing lately. I throw my PJs back on and head into our bedroom and stop dead in my tracks. Tobias is standing in front of his closet searching for something to wear in only his tight little boxer briefs. I fill my eyes with the delicious site in front of me. My stomach tightens with desire and my breathing increases. He's a spectacle to behold. He takes a pair of faded black boot cut jeans out of one of his drawers and pulls them up and over his hips. Then he slides a black and gray striped long-sleeved T-shirt over his head taking away my glorious view. When he turns around he jumps back a little and his eyes widen.

"How long have you been standing there?" he asks.

"Not long," I say. "Good morning."

"Good morning," he says as he walks over to me. I study his face as he comes closer with each step. He looks refreshed and bright eyed this morning. He also looks relaxed, which I haven't really seen since before my accident. When he reaches me he wraps his arms around my waist as I reach up and wrap mine around his neck. His sparkling eyes and dazzling smile mesmerize me. He picks me straight up, and I hear my crutches fall to the floor. He puts his lips to mine, and I immediately feel my blood begin to boil. I press myself against his hard body, and I feel a groan resonate from deep within his chest. He gradually pulls his mouth away from mine, and I slowly open my eyes. We gaze at each other, letting our hearts return to normal. I know nothing can happen this morning because he has a meeting in less than half-an-hour.

"I need to apologize to you," he says as he sits me on my feet.

"What in the world do you need to apologize for?" I ask, furrowing my eyebrows in confusion.

"Last night. I fell asleep when that was the _last_ thing I wanted to do. You must be as frustrated as I am," he says, cradling my face with my hand. "Every time we get close to making love we get interrupted and then the doctor gives us the green light, and _I_ fall asleep. I am _so_ sorry, Tris."

"You have absolutely nothing to apologize for, Tobias," I say, leaning into his hand. "When the time is right, we'll both know it and it will happen. Last night, you needed sleep, and I'm glad you finally got some rest. I've been very worried about you. I'm not upset at all. Honestly."

"I don't deserve you," he says, leaning over and putting his forehead against mine.

"Don't say that," I say. "If you don't deserve me then I _definitely_ don't deserve you." I raise my lips to his and kiss him again being careful to not let this fire within me burn out of control. After a moment I pull away. "Is that bacon I smell?"

"You get dressed, and I'll see if I can salvage our breakfast!" he says with a chuckle.


	34. Chapter 34

My eyes flutter open, and I see Tobias lying next to me. I snuggle up close to him then raise my head to look at the clock on his nightstand like I do every morning. I close my eyes then look at it again, slightly confused. It says it's almost 8:30 a.m., and I have a doctor's appointment clear down in the depths of Dauntless at 9:00 a.m. We have clearly overslept. I sit straight up and start shaking him.

"Tobias," I say as I shake his shoulder. He just grunts a little. "Tobias, we're late. It's 8:30. I have a doctor's appointment in 30 minutes. We _have_ to get up. Come on." He finally opens his eyes but it doesn't seem that what I'm saying is registering with him. "Seriously, Tobias! We have to get up. Look at the clock."

I throw the covers off us, and the chill of the cool December morning hits me right in the face and I shiver. I slide out of bed, grab my crutches, and head to the bathroom. I forgo a shower and just comb through my hair, wash my face, and brush my teeth. I get dressed then step out into the hallway. Tobias is dressed and waiting for his turn in the bathroom. I step out of his way, and he goes in. I slowly walk down the stairs being extra careful not to fall and head into the kitchen to make a pot of coffee. Neither one of us will ever wake up without our morning shot of caffeine. He comes down as I'm pouring his cup. He kisses the top of my head and thanks me. We drink the scalding liquid and head out the door in record time. We practically sprint to the infirmary, and when we finally arrive, the muscles in my arms are screaming at me and pain is shooting up into my leg from the right ankle worse than it has in well over a week. I apologize to the reception desk nurse for my tardiness when I let her know I'm here. We don't even have to wait this morning. She ushers us back to an empty examination room and tells us the doctor will be with us momentarily. Not five minutes later Dr. Parrish comes through the door.

"Good morning, Tris," he says, looking up from the chart that's in his hand. He takes in my pale appearance and frowns. "Are you feeling all right this morning?"

"Sorry, we overslept and raced down here. My ankle's hurting a lot right now, more than it has since I started walking on it."

"Let me take a look then." He gently puts his hands on my ankle and feels around, turning it this way and that way, eliciting pain with every turn and every touch. I grit my teeth and breathe through the pain. He sits back on a little rolling stool and looks at me. "Before you hurried down here, how was it feeling?"

"It was feeling good. Very little throbbing. I'm taking the medicine like you prescribed and icing it four times a day. I went to the salon Wednesday but stayed home Thursday and Friday to rest it. Did I hurt it this morning?" I ask, worried now.

"I think you may have set back your recovery a little. I don't want you going back to work until January 4," he says referring to a calendar on the wall. "You need to rest the ankle or it might not heal properly. No more weightbearing. I think maybe I was too lenient with your outings also. Stick to your apartment from now on, Tris. Borrow a wheelchair from here for the Christmas Party tonight. I wouldn't make you miss that. We'll revisit your restrictions the morning of the New Year's Eve party. How does that sound?" I frown at him. More than two more weeks of not working and over a week of house arrest. I'm going to go crazy. "It's either that or I'm going to put you in a plaster cast and you will be on crutches and not working for another six weeks."

"Fine," I mutter, not happy with the turn of events.

"I'm going to have an orderly deliver a wheelchair to your office, Four. You can keep it until Tris goes back to work. Keep icing like you have and taking the medication, Tris, but the most important thing is to _stay_ _off_ the ankle. Any questions?"

"Is her ankle going to be okay," Tobias asks, worried now. "She hasn't done any permanent damage has she?" He gets up and walks to my side and takes my hand in his.

"I don't think she has. These next couple weeks are going to be the deciding factor. There's the likelihood of additional tests and surgery if it doesn't get better but that's a remote possibility in my opinion. Do you have any other questions for me?" We both shake our heads at him, and he leaves the room. I feel totally defeated in this moment. I look at Tobias, and all I see is concern in his eyes.

"I want to go home, Tobias," I say. We walk slowly side-by-side back to our apartment in silence. I make sure I don't put any weight on my right ankle. When we get to the Pire he carries me up to our apartment and deposits me on the couch. He leaves for a few minutes to check in with Tori and Will and retrieve my crutches. While he's gone I lie down on the couch with my right ankle propped up on the armrest like I have done so many times these past two weeks and stare at the ceiling. How am I supposed to have a house full of guests today? Tears of frustration slide down my cheeks. I hear the door but ignore it.

"Hey, why the tears?" he asks, sliding down to sit in front of me on the floor.

"I'm frustrated, Tobias." I turn my head and look into those dark blue eyes I love so much. "I hate having to sit around here while you all are working so hard. It makes me feel useless, and I _hate_ that feeling."

"What time will your guests arrive today?" he asks.

"Christina's coming over to set up at 1 p.m., and the others will be over at 2 p.m. Why?" The look on his face has piqued my interest, and the frustration is slowly fading into memory.

"That's plenty of time," he says with a smile. He gets out his phone and sends someone a text. "Come here." He gathers me up in his arms, which feel stronger and more muscular since he's been carrying me around so much. I realize I've been his upper body workout these past few weeks. He places his lips on mine, and soon I get lost in his kiss. When I pull back breathless, I realize we are headed down the path to the Pit. That's not where I thought he was taking me.

"Where are we going, Four? I thought you were taking me upstairs," I say, shyness seeping into my voice. He smiles and shakes his head at me.

"What am I going to do with you, Tris?" He kisses me again, just a quick peck. "You seem to only have one thing on your mind." He isn't entirely wrong but not entirely right either. I have a lot on my mind, and I wish I could find a way to quiet it. He takes a familiar turn, and I realize where it is he's taking me.

"Four, why are we going to the training room? I can't do anything there," I say. I miss the distraction of the punching bags, the power that surges through my body with target practice, the familiarity of our early morning runs. Suddenly I'm feeling frustrated and bummed.

"You are feeling frustrated and out of control right now, right?" I nod my head at him. "What makes you feel strong?"

"Weapons always make me feel strong," I say.

He carries me the rest of the way to the training room in silence letting the excitement build. When we get in front of the targets, one has been lowered drastically and there's a chair sitting where I usually stand. He sits me on the black metal folding chair, walks over to the locked gun cabinet on the wall, unlocks it, and retrieves a handgun. He loads the chamber with ammunition and walks back to me. I welcome the familiar surge that starts in my right hand and quickly flows throughout my entire body when he lays the cold steel in my hand. I close my eyes and take a few deep breaths before lifting the gun like Tobias taught me. I fire one handed, not able to properly handle the gun with my broken left hand. I hit the target dead center. I smile up at Tobias who's beaming down at me. He taught me well.

He lets me fire the gun for an hour, reloading it when necessary as I continually empty the chamber into the target. We don't speak. He's letting me work out my aggression on my own, and I truly appreciate it, appreciate him. I have missed everything about this room so much and didn't even realize it. The smell of dust, sweat, and metal. The site of the targets, mats, and punching bags. How it makes me feel both physically and emotionally. When the hour is up, he takes the gun from me and locks it back up in the cabinet.

I stand up on my left leg to give him better access for picking me up. He cradles my back as he gently sweeps my legs out from under me, and momentarily I'm breathless just from the motion and the contact. He carries me back to our apartment giving me an occasional kiss but we don't strike up a conversation. We enjoy the ever softening commotion of the Pit as he carries us further away with each step. When we reach the Pire, Dr. Parrish has followed through on his promise, and a wheelchair is parked outside of his office. I have to admit it will be easier to get around with than the crutches, and it will allow Tobias to rest his overworked sore muscles. He carries me up to our apartment and deposits me on the couch. My attitude and outlook are so much better. I grab his hand, and he turns to look at me.

"Thank you. I really needed that. You have no idea how much better I feel. Not being able to walk for a few weeks doesn't seem like the end of the world anymore."

"I can tell you're more relaxed. I'm glad you enjoyed yourself," he says leaning down and placing a kiss on the top of my head. "We'll disobey the doctor's orders every few days, and I'll take you down and let you get rid of the pent up frustration. I better get us some lunch. Christina will be here in about an hour."

He goes to the kitchen and warms up last night's spaghetti and meatballs. When we're done eating, I have him take me upstairs so I can take a shower since I didn't get one this morning. Instead of dressing, I put on the knee length black silk robe Christina bought me after the Dauntless Welcome Party. She also got one for Shauna, Marlene, and Lynn as a thank you for letting her do our makeovers. I make sure the robe is tightly shut since I don't have anything on under it and call out for Tobias to take me downstairs. When he opens the bathroom door, I stand up from the toilet. He slowly takes in the site of me in the robe as I've never worn it before then picks me up, cradling me gently in his arms. The robe rides up a bit and soon I feel my bare legs on the naked skin of his arms.

He takes me downstairs but instead of putting me on the couch like I thought he was going to, he lowers himself down on the loveseat with me still in his arms. Basically I'm sitting on his lap with my legs resting on the seat cushions. He pulls my mouth to his and kisses me softly, slowly. I taste mint on his tongue and realize he brushed his teeth after lunch also. We relax into the kiss and lean back on the loveseat. At first it's slow and teasing but then the intensity builds, our hearts start racing in unison, and the kiss deepens becoming need filled and desire laced. I maneuver myself so I'm straddling his lap so I can press my small frame against every inch of his hard body. We both moan into each other's open mouths. We break the kiss, and he immediately moves his mouth to my neck and kisses his way down, moving the robe off my shoulder to kiss each of my ravens in turn, sending white heat to the pit of my stomach. I tangle my fingers into his hair and kiss the top of his head while his mouth is on my shoulder. He returns his mouth to mine, even hungrier, and I feel his right hand cover my bare breast and I shiver. I absolutely love the feel of his hand on me. When I can no longer take it and I have to breathe, I pull back and stare into his eyes. His hand is still on me, gently caressing.

"I love you, Tobias," I say, encouraging him and letting him know his touch doesn't frighten me. He brings both his hands up and wraps his fingers in my hair. He pushes me back slightly then looks down and fills his eyes with the site of my naked chest. He looks at me like he is awe struck, and I feel my stomach muscles tighten. I pull his lips back to mine and kiss him impatiently on the mouth. He takes his left hand and gently pulls my head back exposing the naked skin from my neck to my chest to his mouth. He kisses and nips his way down to put his mouth where his hand had been just a moment ago, and I gasp at the new sensation of his hot, wet mouth on my breast. Movement catches my attention, and I find myself staring into the wide dark brown eyes of Christina. _Oh_. _My_. _God!_


	35. Chapter 35

"Four!" I yelp, pushing him back and wrapping my black silk robe tightly around me as I climb off his lap. Confusion, lust, and hurt are all evident on his face. "Christina's here," I whisper. We both turn various shades of red while Christina is standing in our doorway very much like a newly chiseled statue. "Maybe you should go take a shower." He nods his head.

"That's probably a good idea," he huskily says. He gets up off the couch and hurriedly moves up to the second floor. I turn my attention to the statue that once was my best friend.

"Christina?" I give her a "what the hell" look, and she finally unfreezes.

"I. Am. So. Sorry! I knocked ... _a lot_. I didn't think you two were home from your appointment yet so I tried the door and, Tris, I'm _so_ sorry. I obviously interrupted something. I'm so embarrassed." _She's_ embarrassed. "Is it still okay if we do this here?" she asks timidly.

"Of course it is, and I have to say it isn't entirely your fault. We knew what time you were coming over. We just got a bit ... carried away, which isn't anything new these days," I sigh. "Plus I had _no idea_ the door was unlocked." We look anywhere but at each other for a few minutes letting the awkward tension hang in the room like a low hanging thundercloud before I continue. "I got some bad news today. I can't go back to work until the New Year, and I can't walk anymore on my ankle until the doctor releases me. Four and I overslept this morning, and in racing down to the infirmary to make it to my appointment on time, I apparently set my recovery back."

"You don't look upset," she says, then a sly look crosses her face. "Of course, if I was doing what I just caught you two doing, I'd be in a pretty good mood, too."

" _Candor!_ " Tobias roars in his scary Four voice as he descends the stairway into the living room at the same time I say, " _Christina_!" She physically pales two shades when she sees Four's furious face. I'm sure he's more embarrassed than angry right now but he's not showing that side to her.

" _Actually_ , Four took me to the training room and let me do some target practice for about an hour to get my aggression out. It helped ... a lot. Before then, I was a wreck and really didn't want any part of today, so you should be thanking him and not saying anything about what you just walked in on."

"I already apologized to Tris and now I'm apologizing to you, Four," she says shyly, which sounds out of character for her. "I'm sorry for just walking in. In my defense, I knocked several times and figured you two weren't home yet. I didn't mean to interrupt. I _am_ sorry." He just grunts a bit in her direction, which makes me giggle a little.

"What time do I need to pick you up, Tris?" he asks, looking only at me.

"How about 6:30. All the girls are meeting the guys by the cafeteria doors at 7 p.m. like we did at the welcome party." He leans down and gives me a quick peck on the cheek.

"I'm going to go to my office for a few hours then I'm getting ready at Zeke and Shauna's with the guys. If you need me, just call or text. I love you," he quietly says then he stalks out the door.

"Wow, I've never seen him like that," Christina says, her eyes wide once again.

"He's just embarrassed," I say with a shrug. "He'll get over it, we _both_ will." She shoots me another apologetic look then starts setting up my living room and kitchen to be a duplicate salon. She rolls in a giant mirror and sets it up behind the island. She brings in what looks like a suitcase full of various tools, lotions, makeup, and hair accessories and heaves it up onto her makeshift work surface. She turns each of the four barstools away from the backside of the island so she can stand behind them. She next brings in what looks like a coatrack and hangs up a black garment bag on it.

"Where are your dress, shoes, and lingerie?" she asks me over her shoulder as she's putting her tools exactly where she wants them on the island.

"Oh, I forgot. They're upstairs in my closet. I'll go get them if you bring me my crutches." She gives me a dirty look.

"I'm not letting you climb stairs on your crutches. I'll go get them. I know everything you're wearing tonight since I bought them." She jogs up the stairs two at a time and comes back down in record time, garment bag and two sacks in hand. She hangs my garment bag with hers and puts the other two bags on the ground at the base of the coatrack. "Do you have any idea how you want your hair tonight?" she asks, hands on her hips taking in my wet head.

"I would love some curls like the welcome party. Can you still do it since you cut my hair?" I ask.

"Sure. Come over here and sit down. I'll roll your hair while we're waiting for the others." She brings me my crutches, and I hobble over to the barstools. I automatically sit down at the one I always sit in. She combs through my still wet hair and starts rolling small sections of hair around extra-large curlers. "I have to ask, or I will be dying all day."

I have a feeling I know what question is coming but I only say, "What?"

"Have you two started having sex? You looked mighty cozy on the couch," she says, curiosity thick in her voice. I might as well get this conversation over with while she and I are the only ones here.

"No, we haven't. We keep getting interrupted," I say matter-of-factly.

"Interruptions? Like more than one?"

"Yes. People knocking on the door or buzzers are going off or someone just _walks_ _in_."

"You're never going to let me live that one down are you? I _said_ I was sorry," she says winding my hair around another curler and securing it to my head. "I told you I was just as embarrassed as you were."

"I highly doubt that. Abnegation, remember," I say pointing at myself. "I was mortified you saw us like that with his mouth…" I stop. She doesn't need to hear the details, and I don't want to give them.

"His mouth where? I really couldn't see," she says, full of curiosity again.

" _Christina_!" I yelp. "I am _not_ telling you that. I shouldn't have even said anything." I can feel my body temperature rise what seems like 10 degrees so I can only imagine what color my skin is right now. It must resemble an apple freshly picked off an Amity tree in autumn, bright red.

"Fine, I won't bring it up again but let me tell you something. I don't think you'll be a virgin for much longer the way you too looked." I groan ... loudly. "I'm just saying." She's right, but I'll never give her the satisfaction of knowing she's right.

Just then a loud knock echoes through the apartment. Before I let Christina answer the door I say, "Tell anyone, and I mean _anyone_ about what you walked in on, and I will gladly kill you, and you know I can. Understand?" She doesn't seem threatened by me so I remind her of Four, and she immediately agrees. She answers the door expecting one of the six faces who is invited over to get ready for the Christmas party but instead Tori is standing at the door. She ushers her in.

"Hi, Tori," I say while she looks around the apartment at the makeshift salon.

"I brought something for you," she says holding up a package approximately 16 x 20 wrapped in plain brown paper and tied with twine. Excitement bubbles up in me. I wish I could have seen it before it was wrapped but I realize I get to experience what the chasm drawing looks like for the first time right alongside Tobias. That's going to make it that much more special.

"Thank you _so_ much, Tori. You have no idea how much this means to me," I say. "Go ahead and put it under the tree. I think Four has already put a couple boxes under it. I don't know what I would have done without you. It's the only Christmas present I have for him." She walks across the room and gently slides it under the right edge of the huge Christmas tree until it's invisible.

"I'm glad I could pick it up for you. That Amity fellow, Gunner was it?" I nod. "He's quite the character. He showed me some of his sketches. If this is anything like any of those, Four is getting a one of a kind work of art. That's very thoughtful of you, Tris. I better get going so you all can enjoy your afternoon," Tori says.

"What did you get Four," Christina asks.

"I had an Amity artist do a sketch of the chasm," I say to Christina, and then I turn my attention back to Tori. "Thanks again, Tori. We'll talk about the Amity meeting later." She nods at me and walks out of the apartment.

Soon Ciara, Kirsten, Ella, Marlene, Lynn, and Shauna join us, and we spend the rest of the afternoon swept up in the "Christina Experience" and gossip. In between manicures, pedicures, waxing, buffing, and more, we talk about everything from Ivy's death and Hana's assault to the need for different flavors of Dauntless cake on a regular basis in the cafeteria and Christina's baby announcement. Lucky for me, and for her, Christina doesn't say anything about my compromising position with Four that she walked in on earlier. I tell everyone about my stupidity this morning and the doctor putting me back on rigid restrictions. I also tell them about my excursion to the training room for target practice.

"You do seem calmer than you have since your accident," Ciara notes while Christina is rubbing in a honey, brown sugar, and coconut oil body scrub over her nearly naked body. "So all it takes is handling a gun to make you feel better?" Christina snorts a bit, and I glare at her but no one else seems to notice or care about our exchange.

"I figured out in my fear landscape that some of my fears have to do with feeling powerless or out of control, and I remembered the first time I held a gun, power rushing through me unlike anything I've ever felt. Before when I felt like this I would go to the training room and spend hours with either a gun or knife in my hands or I would take out all my aggression on a punching bag. I never even gave it a thought I was missing it, but I was. I'm glad Four figured it out."

"I still can't believe you only have six fears," Lynn mutters while lounging on my couch in her black silk robe, a cucumber mask on her face.

"You only have _six_ fears?" Kirsten says. "I had twice that many."

"She started out with seven but she isn't scared of sex anymore," Christina says. She's coming awfully close to broaching a subject I want left alone, and I turn and glare at her. She just smirks back. Kirsten, Ciara, and Ella all laugh lightly.

"Sex was in your fear landscape?" Ella asks then adds mostly to herself, "I wonder what that was like?"

"Come on, Tris! Tell everyone the story," Marlene says with far too much excitement in her voice.

"Fine. The first time I went through my fear landscape I was totally shocked and unprepared for what I would find. Four was in it. I was scared of having sex with him but didn't understand that at first until he started taking my clothes off. Then I didn't know what to do. I froze. I'd faced down a terrifying flock of crows that were intent on pecking me to death, I'd almost drowned, _twice_ , Peter tied me to a stake in a pile of logs and set me on fire, and I was kidnapped by an endless stream of very creepy faceless men but this, having sex with someone I liked who liked me just as much, terrified me more." I shake my head at the memory. "It made me laugh hysterically. I'm still surprised our old leaders didn't die from laughter in that moment. I told him I wasn't having sex with him in a hallucination, and the fear went away in the simulation. My only greater fear was having to follow orders and kill my family."

"But that fear is totally gone now because you've had sex with Four," Ciara states. I feel a blush rise.

"We haven't yet," I say quietly. This announcement takes everyone but Christina by surprise. "I'm not scared anymore. We're just waiting for the right time but Four's still in my fear landscape. My only fear that changed was my greatest fear. Instead of being ordered to kill my family, now I'm ordered to kill Four. I can't do it of course, I turn the weapon on myself." Ciara, Ella, and Kirsten all stare open-mouthed.

"I said it once before, but all your fears are heavy, except for maybe the crows," Shauna says. "Killer clowns are my greatest fear. I didn't even know what they were until I explained what I was seeing to Zeke, and he clarified what they were. He tells me I must have seen a movie or read a book with them in it at one point in time but I don't remember that. You think you would remember what causes your greatest fear."

Soon everyone is sharing what their greatest fear was in their fear landscape, and the subject of sex has thankfully been dropped, at least for the moment. Ella's greatest fear was fire, Ciara's was being buried alive, Kirsten's was swarms of bees stinging her to death, Marlene's was war with people outside the fence, Lynn's was losing everyone she loves, and Christina's was becoming factionless. I'm surprised that fear doesn't come up more but maybe it does.

At a little after 6 p.m. I'm sitting on the couch in my new outfit waiting for Christina to put the finishing touches on Ciara and Kirsten. I look down at myself and once again admire the dress Christina picked out for me. The halter design is extremely flattering, showing off my long neck. Christina was right, the peekaboo keyhole in the bodice and the fact that it's sleeveless shows just the right amount of skin. The tiered crinoline ruffles are very fun and flirty and keep the dress looking young, and the jeweled neckline and waist give it a sense of elegance. I love my black ballet flats adorned with the same kind of jewels that are on the dress but in a simple floral pattern. This time I did my own makeup in the simple style both Tobias and I like, matching my lip and cheek color to the shade of pink already on my fingers and toes. Christina scrutinized my nails to make sure my polish was in tiptop shape, and I gratefully passed her inspection. I really didn't want to sit through the second Mani/Pedi of the week today. When she took the curlers out, my hair fell in perfect curls all around my head. I argued with her about not doing anything else with it, and I finally won after the other girls expressed their opinions and agreed with me. She did put some deep hold spray gel and touchable stronghold hairspray on my curls to keep the style all night.

Shauna is sitting next to me wearing a black form-fitting, sleeveless, scoop neck dress that has an asymmetrical ruffle at the bottom and plain open toe 4-inch spike heels. Her dark blonde hair is styled like it was at the Dauntless Welcome Party, pulled back in a casual bun at the base of her neck with her long side-swept bangs being held back with the black jewel-encrusted comb Zeke gave her. She's wearing the same bright pink color on her fingers, toes, and lips. The rest of her makeup is very subtle.

Lynn's hair has grown out a bit, and Christina talked her into letting her put little gems here and there throughout the soft spikes of her blonde hair like she wanted to do with mine. It makes the severe haircut Lynn chose for initiation more feminine. Her dress is a tight black sleeveless faux leather tube mini dress that hugs her curves and complements her style. She, too, is wearing 4-inch open toe spike heels just like her sister's but unlike Shauna, Lynn's makeup is darker. She has a deep coral color not only on her fingers, toes, and lips but also on her cheeks and eyes. It would overpower most women's faces but it looks good on her.

Marlene is twirling in front of the mirror in the kitchen. I've never seen a dress like hers before. It's as extravagant as it is simple. It's a strapless dress whose sweetheart neckline hugs the curves of her chest then flares out subtly, but it's the fabric that makes this dress extraordinary to look at. It looks like hundreds of black rosettes have been flattened and sewn together to form the dress. It's quite amazing. She has on plain 3-inch spike heels that don't take away from the beauty of the dress. Her normally straight brown hair is wavy and pulled back off her face in a sparkly black headband. Her makeup is also very natural looking as to not detract from the dress.

Ella is lounging in my extra wide club chair with her feet on the ottoman. Her formfitting, high-neck, long-sleeved dress is black with a dark gray pattern on it that looks like fireworks lighting up a dark starless summer sky. When she turns, the dress is backless to an extreme. She is wearing a pair of open toe dark gray 3-inch heels that will make her tower just that much more over Samuel. Her nails, toes, and lips are all painted the same magenta as his hair. She has her hair styled like it is any other day except for the normally red braids that give a splash of color to her otherwise black mane are magenta, too.

Christina finishes with Kirsten and turns her attention to Ciara. Even though it's making me increasingly uncomfortable, I have a hard time keeping my eyes off of Kirsten's barely there dress. She has a skintight black tube dress that consists of more sheer black fabric than the stretchy black knit that's scarcely covering her breasts and butt. Her short brown hair is styled much like it is on an average day also except Christina has made a few braids at her temple and fastened them loosely with jeweled pins toward the back of her head. Her makeup is daring and unusual. She has royal blue on her fingers, toes, and eyes, and her lips have a lovely shade of red that doesn't detract from the blue. On her feet are flat black sandals that show her blue-painted toenails.

Finally Christina finishes Ciara's hair and excuses herself to the powder room to put her outfit on for the night. She's already done her makeup and hair. Ciara gets off the barstool and replaces Marlene in front of the mirror. She has on a strapless black sequined bodice bubble dress that hits just above her knees. On her feet are a pair of 3-inch black pumps embellished with black sequins very much like her dress. Her long naturally curly blonde hair is pulled back with sparkly pins guiding it over her left shoulder. For this occasion she let her trademark blue streak go back to its natural blonde. She too has very natural-looking makeup on that brings out the beauty of her blue eyes.

When Christina comes out of the powder room, she looks spectacular. She, of course, has a black sleeveless, scoop neck dress on that hits her mid-thigh that has a laser-cut detail on the yolk and hem of the dress. I look closely at the cutouts but can find no pattern. There are squares, rectangles, and triangles mixed together to form a nice look. There's a gentle swing to the fabric of her dress, and when she tightens it around her midsection, she's right, she's already starting to show. Her short hair has grown out slightly since we got to Dauntless. Tonight she's wearing it curly and has sections twisted back and held in place with sparkly pins creating a messy updo effect. Her makeup is basic, accessorized with dark blood red lips, nails, and toes, which are on full display in a pair of 3-inch glossy black strappy sandals that show more skin than they cover.

A knock at the door brings me out of my daze, and Christina goes over and opens it. Tobias is standing on the other side looking very handsome in his black V-neck sweater over a button down dark gray shirt and black and dark gray pinstripe pants. I look closely at his face and realize he has gotten his hair cut but there are still curls touching the collar of his shirt. I smile at him, and he beams back at me. He walks through the door and takes in the appearance of all the girls.

"You all look great tonight, as usual. If you don't mind, I'm going to borrow Tris for a moment," he says. I get off the couch making sure I don't step on my right foot, and before I know it he's swept me up into his arms and is carrying me up the stairs to the sound of snickering. When he gets us to our bedroom, he gently sits me down on the bed.

"What are you doing?" I ask him. He looks at me from the top of my head to the tips of my ballet flats causing heat to rush into my cheeks.

"You look absolutely stunning. That's a really nice dress," he says as he steps forward. I look up at him and once again get lost in his eyes. He runs his fingers through my curls and bends and kisses me gently. He breaks away and goes to the top drawer of the dresser and fishes something out. When he returns to me, he sits down on the bed beside me and nervously turns what looks like a ring box over and over again in his hands and I freeze.


	36. Chapter 36

I remind myself to breathe as I once again look over into Tobias' dark blue eyes, which are sparkling back at me right now. I open my mouth to ask what's going on but nothing comes out, not even a squeak. He puts the little black box in my hand, and I forget how to take my next breath. I can no longer think straight.

"It's custom to bring a grab bag gift to the Christmas party but I wanted to give a gift to someone I love. Here," he says offering me the little box that's already in my hand. I still haven't breathed and somehow force myself to drag a ragged breath into my aching lungs. I open the box to find a tiny red glass Christmas ornament charm for my bracelet. "It's to commemorate not only our first Christmas together but also our first Christmas tree." Disappointment flares for a single moment before it's replaced with elation. I wonder what the fleeting disappointment was.

"The first ornament we hung up on the Christmas tree was a red glass one just like this," I say, finally finding my voice and blinking the happy tears back. I really don't want to cry right now. I want to see his blissful, gorgeous face. "It's beautiful, Tobias. My bracelet's on top of the dresser. Can you get it for me?" He gets up and moves to the dresser and retrieves my bracelet as I wipe away the tear that spills down my cheek. It has the Dauntless and Abnegation charms on it along with a tiny skeleton in a top hat to represent our first Halloween and a miniature horn of plenty to represent our first Thanksgiving. He takes the ornament charm out of the black box and attaches it to my bracelet then puts it on my right wrist. After staring at the shiny little ball on my wrist, I move my arms around his neck and drag his mouth to mine. We kiss gently for a moment but when the kiss starts to deepen, he pulls away.

"You really are beautiful," he says, caressing my cheek with the back of his hand. I swear I see his eyes darken as I'm staring into them.

"You look stunning yourself, Tobias," I say to him, which is always true but more so in his dress clothes. "Thank you so much for the charm. I love it, and I love you." He places his lips on mine, and once again he has me up in his arms. He kisses me for a moment before he sighs and pulls away then carries me down the stairs. Before we reach the bottom I kiss his neck lightly, once. He looks at me and tells me he loves me, and all I can do is smile in return, rising emotions threatening to pull me down. When we enter the living room Christina has packed everything up and is taking it down the hall to what will be her and Will's apartment. She probably knows Tobias and I need to be alone tonight. He sits me down on one of the barstools and leans up against the island beside me since it isn't time to go yet.

"When are you and Will moving in?" I ask Christina when she comes back into the apartment. It'll be so convenient having my best friend right next door.

"Next week, Tuesday I think. I forget exactly what Will and I decided. Must be a pregnancy side effect. I swear I can't remember anything these days. It's so frustrating." She sits down on the couch where I had been sitting and relaxes until it's time to go. If anyone deserves to be relaxing right now, it's her. She did hair and makeup, not to mention waxes, Mani/Pedi's and other various things for seven different woman this afternoon and never once acted like she wasn't having the time of her life. She deserves a medal! We all chat excitedly about tonight's party, except for Tobias. He just stands next to me quietly, playing with my curls and stroking the exposed skin of my shoulders making me wish I could kick everyone out and take him back upstairs right now.

Someone comments it's time to go, and Tobias and I let everyone leave the apartment ahead of us. He once again lifts me up into his strong arms and carries me out into the hallway. He secures the door behind us and carries me downstairs to where my wheelchair is now parked. He gently puts me in the seat and removes the parking break and wheels me to the cafeteria taking his time. We see person after person dressed in fancier than usual Dauntless clothing making their way to the dining hall for another candle-lit supper. By the time we make it to the cafeteria all our friends have already met their significant others and made their way inside to sit at our usual table. Tobias wheels me up to the end of the table decorated with black candles and strategically placed clear glass ornaments laying in a bed of live greenery garland and parks the wheelchair so it isn't in the way of other Dauntless members. He once again sets the parking break and then slides into the open seat left for him.

He fills a plate first for me and then for himself with honey baked ham, mashed potatoes with ham gravy, sweet potato casserole (thank you, Christina), seasoned green beans, and apple salad with grapes, raisins, and walnuts. We eat slowly joining in the conversation when appropriate but we mainly just gaze into each other's eyes, enjoying the atmosphere of the night. Peter's ogling doesn't even bother me. When we finish the main course, Tobias goes to get a sampling of cake for us to try. He brings back a plate with three small slices of cake in various colors and flavors to the table. There is a devil's food cake with chocolate peppermint frosting adorned with crushed candy canes, a spice cake with a cream cheese eggnog frosting, and a white cake with butter rum frosting adorned with mini bite-sized star-shaped sugar cookies Tobias tells me are actually called Christmas cookies. He feeds me a small bite of each cake, and I can't decide which I like the most. We take turns eating a bite of each one until all three are gone. I finally decide the devil's food cake with chocolate peppermint frosting with little bits of crushed up candy cane is my favorite but I talk Tobias into making Christmas cookies one evening at home with me because those are absolutely delicious, too.

Tobias wheels me from the cafeteria out into the rush of the Pit after we finish the cake. Everyone is making their way to the auditorium, and we are no exception. The doors to the party are standing wide open and beyond all I see is a sea of white, icy blue, and silver, very out of character for Dauntless. When we get just inside the door, Tobias wheels me out of the way, and we take in the astonishing site of Christina's flawless design open mouthed.

There is white fabric everywhere. It starts in the center of the ceiling being held in place with two large 5-pointed shiny silver stars that have been placed together to create a 10-pointed sculpture then drapes down slightly to the walls, covering up the normal thick black drapery. The front of the stage has been swathed with the same thick white fabric hiding any trace of Dauntless black. The poles that stand approximately every 10 feet or so that hold up the ceiling are wrapped in live greenery garland that has been spray painted silver and soft white twinkle lights. The edge of the stage and the hand railings of the stairs leading up onto the stage are wrapped in the same lights and spray-painted garland.

On the outside of the poles are at least 50 large round tables covered with white linen tablecloths surrounded by black metal folding chairs that have been draped with white chair covers that glide carefully along the floor when the chairs move. In the center of each table is a wondrous site. There are Christmas trees made out of various sized white balloons with silver and icy blue ornaments tucked in the empty spaces between the balloons. There's some kind of a light source shining up through the middle of each tree because all the white balloons are glowing like the sun coming through a frosted window on an uncloudy day. Placed here and there between the tables are several 6-feet tall white Christmas trees decorated with soft white twinkle lights and adorned with clear, frosted white, silver, and icy blue round ornaments. Just in front of the stage is a long table also draped in a white table cloth that has stacks of Christmas presents on it for the gift exchange.

On the stage the DJ has his equipment set up and even his table is draped with white to match everything else. Through the speakers an up-tempo Christmas carol I've never heard before is playing. Tobias wheels me to the table that's been reserved for us and pushes away one of the folding chairs to accommodate the wheelchair. Then he tells me he'll be right back.

"Hello, Tris," a familiar voice says over my left shoulder. I turn and am looking into the familiar eyes of my uncle, Nathan Wright.

"Hello, Nathan," I say. "It's nice to see you again. I hope you're enjoying yourself tonight."

"This is a lovely party. One of the best I've ever attended in all my years. I just wanted to stop by and wish you a Merry Christmas. I won't take up any more of your time," he says.

"You aren't taking up any of my time. It's always nice to see you," I say. "We'll have to make plans soon for that dinner."

"We will," he says, then looks over his shoulder. "I have to get back to my family. You have a wonderful evening, Tris." Nathan turns and heads to the other side of the auditorium just as Tobias returns with two glasses of sparkling cider. We sit for a while watching everyone else dance when suddenly I feel his lips on my neck, and I melt into him.

"Would you like to dance?" he asks once his lips find my ear. I frown at him and he says, "What?"

"How am I supposed to dance when I can't even walk?" I say, still frowning.

"That's easy. I'll do all the work," he says getting up. He takes my hand and pulls me to my feet. He wraps my arms around his neck while wrapping his around my waist and stands up so I'm a good 6 inches off the ground. He carries me to the dance floor, and we dance with him holding me up like I don't weigh a thing through two slow romantic Christmas songs. When the old Christmas classic _Jingle Bell Rock_ comes on he returns me to my chair, and we catch our breath, not from the dancing but from the close proximity of our bodies. We know it won't do for two of the four Dauntless leaders to leave when the Christmas party has barely started so we stay, put on our happy faces, and do our duty. We dance to more slow Christmas carols loving every minute, drink more sparkling cider, and laugh with our friends. At 11:00 p.m. Tori comes over to us and says it's time for the Christmas gift grab bag. Tobias and Will follow her to the stage but I stay behind at the table with our friends.

"Welcome to the annual Dauntless Christmas Party!" Tobias says into the microphone on stage. The crowd of partially drunk Dauntless members cheer, clap, and stomp their feet as he speaks. "I would like to give a shout out to Christina Misner, who is responsible for planning the wonderful meal we had tonight and the lovely decorations around you. Christina, will you please stand up?" Christina blushes slightly but stands as instructed, and our fellow Dauntless members go wild. The noise is deafening. Tobias steps back up to the microphone when the crowd starts to settle down. "If you brought a gift with you please come up to the table in front of the stage and pick one out. Please, everyone have a good time but remember to stay safe and Merry Christmas!" Before he comes back to me I see him take two packages off the gift table. He sits one in front of me when he returns to the table and sits the other one in front of him.

"What's this for?" I ask.

"I told you, it's a Dauntless tradition. I gave our grab bag gifts to Christina yesterday, and she brought them in for us since she wouldn't even let _me_ come in early and see the decorations," he says smiling. "Go ahead and open yours."

"It's strange getting a gift and you don't know who it's from," I say to him as I tear into the red foil paper. Once I throw the discarded paper to the side I open the little box and can't believe my eyes. I frown, look up at Tobias, and then look back in the box.

"What is it?" he says. I slide the box over to him, and he stares at it for a moment. Inside the box are three names on a piece of white card stock: Amar Atwood, George Wu, and Ivy Stevenson and the message, "You are next," in bold typeface. My heart starts racing, the color drains out of my face, and I can barely catch my breath.

"How is this possible?" I whisper. He puts his arm around me protectively and starts scanning the crowd for anyone paying special attention to our table. He puts his hand on my chin and makes me look up at him.

"Try to put a smile on your face, Tris, like nothing's the matter," he quietly says before he kisses me lightly on the lips. I take two deep breaths and put a smile on my face, although I know it doesn't touch my eyes. He opens the gift in front of him and finds a CD of traditional Christmas carols, a typical grab bag gift he tells me. "Christina?" he calls to her. She looks up at him. He beckons her with his finger, trying to look like nothing's wrong. She comes over to us, and one look at me tells her something's wrong. "Do you know where the gifts at the far right edge of the table came from?" She thinks for a moment.

"I don't remember there being any gifts at the right. Why?" she asks.

"Please keep a smile on your face okay?" he says, pleading with her with his eyes. He then slides my "gift" over to lets her look at it. The smile on her face freezes in place when she takes in the note. Tobias pulls out his phone and sends a text to Tori and Will saying, "Emergency meeting at my place tomorrow morning at 10:00 a.m. Don't ask questions, just act as if nothing's wrong. This is vital, don't look or act like anything is up." Tori and Will look to Tobias after they receive their texts but don't verbally acknowledge. "I'll be right back," he says in my ear. I keep the smile frozen in place trying to look as natural as I can. When Tobias sits down beside me, he hands me a glass filled with sparkling cider.

"Here's some cider. I thought about getting us something a little stronger but I knew you wouldn't like that," he says. He's right I don't like the idea of drinking, especially as a mechanism to cope. Just then another slow romantic Christmas carol comes through the extra-large speakers on the stage.

"Shall we?" he asks as he rises and holds his hand out to me. I stand up on my good leg, and he picks me straight up again, and I relax when I'm in his arms. He takes me out into the middle of the makeshift dance floor, and we hold onto each other tightly. He turns us in slow circles, and I watch the couples around us knowing he's doing the exact same thing but I don't see anyone paying any attention to us. Everyone I look at seems to be totally absorbed with their partner. A table in the corner is clearly full of Dauntless singles looking for a hookup including Peter. He doesn't look my way once during the dance. He's too busy hitting on a busty pink-haired girl in a skintight dress, if you could call it that.

"Can we go home?" I whisper in Tobias' ear as he's carrying me back to our table after the song finishes. "I don't want to stay here anymore. Please?" I kiss him and put every ounce of need I'm feeling right now into it. He pulls back sooner than I like and nods his head. He gently sits me in my wheelchair, and we say goodnight to our friends, and he wheels me toward the exit and up to our apartment.

The overwhelming stress of the day's events start taking their toll on me on the ride back, and I start to feel sleepy, which isn't what I want at all. I've been looking forward to this night for so long. Unfortunately, the repetitive motion of the wheelchair lulls me to sleep against my will. I wake up when he's carrying me up the stairs to our bedroom.

"I didn't mean to fall asleep, Tobias," I say, snuggling up against his neck, my voice full of sleep.

"That's okay, love. It's been a really long day," he says as he sits me down on my side of the bed. I look up at him and realize I'm having a hard time keeping my eyes open. "Do you need help with your dress?" I nod my head at him, and he goes over to one of my dresser drawers and gets my one and only nightgown. He must think it will be easier for me to get on with his assistance than pants and a shirt. He comes back and undoes the button on the top of my dress, which allows it to fall to my feet. Not even his soft gasp wakes me fully. He asks me to raise my arms then slides the nightgown over my head, letting it fall into place and gently lies me back on my pillow. The last thing I remember is the feel of his lips on top of my head when he pulls me into the circle of his arms.


	37. Chapter 37

My eyes slowly drift open, and I look around the room and see it's black as night indicating we are still hours away from dawn. I feel Tobias' callused fingers resting on the bare skin of my right thigh, so I reach down and lace my fingers with his and bring his hand up to my lips and kiss it. Then I wrap his arm around me, placing our joined hands on my heart feeling the comfort and safety of his embrace.

The events of the previous evening come flooding back, and I freeze. How in the world did I end up with that particular package? Anyone could have picked up that gift. How did _I_ end up with it? Was it meant for me or was it meant for Tobias? Was it meant for Will or Tori? _What_ is going on? Why do people hate Divergents so much? My head starts spinning, and I feel panic starting to spread through me. A sigh escapes my mouth.

"Tris?" Tobias asks. I momentarily stiffen in his arms before melting into him. "Are you okay?"

"Did I wake you up?" I ask, not wanting to answer his question.

"No," he says against my ear. I feel his hot breath on my neck, and I immediately forget my troubles, our troubles, Dauntless' troubles. I release his hand and turn in his arms so I'm facing him.

I lightly run my fingertips down his cheek then tangle my hand in his hair, pulling his mouth to mine. Falling asleep earlier robbed me of my goodnight kiss, and I'm going to take full advantage of the fact he's awake right now. The kiss starts out slow, our lips moving together unhurriedly, lovingly. He opens his mouth and runs his tongue along my bottom lip, prompting me to open for him. He slides his tongue into my mouth and glides it leisurely against mine. Soon the kiss deepens and is fevered and passionate, full of longing and want. He rolls us so I'm on top of him, and I wrap both my arms around his neck and tangle my fingers in his curls again, still moving my mouth with his. I let my legs fall to either side of his hips feeling his growing need, and we gasp into each other's open mouth. I pull back to catch my breath, and his mouth goes to the hollow at the base of my throat. Instead of slowing my heart rate, this causes it to quicken even more. His hands roam up and down my back leaving a trail of heat everywhere they touch me. When he reaches the bottom of my nightgown, he gently pulls at the hem. I lean up a little letting him slide the silky material up my body and off over my head, tossing it to the floor. My mouth goes back to his with a new sense of urgency. I want him desperately. I feel his hands moving over me. They seem to be everywhere at once: my shoulders, my back, my arms, my legs, my hair. He pulls me closer even though I didn't think it was possible. I feel his hands at my bra and anticipation courses through me but he pauses then slows the kiss and pulls back. I'm not going to let him stop us, not after all the other interruptions that have kept us from making love. I'm totally in love with him, and I want to experience every part of him and I want to experience him _now_.

I decide to take control of the situation. I sit up so I'm straddling his hips, and I bravely reach behind me, undo the three hooks that hold my bra together, and slowly slide it off my arms, letting it graze his chest before I toss it to the floor. He sits up so we are nose-to-nose. I can feel my heavy breathing duplicated in his heaving chest. I feel his arms go around my waist, pulling me closer to him. His mouth lands on mine as his hands roam up and down my naked back. I move my hands down to his hips and grasp the hem of the black tank top he uses as a sleep shirt and drag it up his body. He breaks our kiss just long enough for me to move the shirt over his head. I toss it away as our lips once again fall together in a desire-filled kiss, and we hold each other, never wanting to let go. I love the feeling of my bare skin on his. It's making me dizzy with want, with need.

We part, gasping for air, and I put my fingers in his hair and pull his head back exposing his throat to me. I put my mouth on his pulse point and suck just a little. He moans and I smile. I love that I'm turning him on just as much as he turns me on. I lick up to the sensitive spot below his right ear and kiss him tenderly. I feel him slide his hands from my waist up to cover my breasts and massage gently, sending a jolt of electricity between my legs. I truly know what desire feels like now. My heart is hammering in my chest from his gentle touch, and there's an unfamiliar pressure building just below my navel. I wrap my arms around his neck and pull his mouth back to mine. This kiss sets me on fire, threatening to burn through my veins leaving only ash in its wake. He takes his hands off me and wraps his arms around me holding me close. He twists us around so he's on top of me. I can feel his strong desire pressing into me. He breaks the kiss and draws in a jagged breath.

"Tris?" he asks, his voice thick with desire. "Are you sure? We can stop."

"No we can't, Tobias," I say putting my hands on either side of his face, caressing lovingly. "I've never felt like this before. I love you so much." I lean up and place a soft kiss on his mouth then pull back slightly. "I want you ... all of you ... I don't want to stop." I kiss him again. "I want to feel you, every part of you. I want you. Please, Tobias, I _need_ you."

"I love you so damn much, do you hear me," he says. "I've never loved anyone but you. I never _will_ love anyone but you." He puts his mouth back to mine, and the kiss is much gentler than I expect. We kiss, moving our lips together, our tongues together, letting the passion build to new heights. He pulls his lips away from mine and kisses, licks, and nips down my neck to my shoulder and kisses each one of my ravens. I lie back enjoying the feeling of his hot mouth on my bare skin. My heart is beating at a frenzied pace when his mouth covers my right breast. He draws my nipple into his mouth and laps his tongue around the bud causing it to stand at attention. I moan loudly as I entwine my fingers in his hair pulling him closer to me as my back arches of its own volition begging for more. He switches to my left breast, biting and teasing. When he takes my nipple into his mouth I shudder with pleasure and pull his mouth closer to me still, and he laughs lightly. I can feel each sensation pulsate between my thighs. I moan even louder and his mouth lands on mine with a crushing need.

We kiss for what seems like forever when he leans back onto his knees and puts his hands on the sides of my lacy boy shorts. My heart stops then picks up double time. I'm afraid that if it keeps up at this pace it's going to burst free from my chest. Tobias very slowly lowers my underwear until I'm lying naked before him. I can feel a blush rise in me even though he can't see me. I feel him get off the bed, and I hear rustling of fabric as he slides out of his sleep pants. When he returns to the bed, he lies between my outstretched legs, and I feel the new sensation of no barriers when his naked body slides against my naked body. I gasp when I feel his hard length against my leg. He is big, _really_ big. His mouth returns to mine, and I wrap my arms around his neck. I feel his hands exploring my body, making me want him that much more with every touch. He slides his hand down my body then between my legs. I gasp when he slowly enters a finger into my tight womanhood, finding I'm ready for him. He withdraws his finger just as slowly, and I feel him position his hard manhood at my entrance. I kiss him again, this time with deep yearning but he soon pulls his mouth away from mine.

"You need to promise me that if you need to stop, for any reason, you'll tell me," he says huskily. I can only nod at him. He lies his forehead against mine, and I feel the weight of his body on mine for the very first time. I feel him pushing and he slides inside me, just a little, stretching me, causing me to gasp at this new feeling. He stops, letting me get used to this foreign sensation. After a moment he applies more pressure and slides in a little deeper. He leans down and lightly kisses my mouth then pushes again sliding in a few more inches. I moan into his mouth when he hits my resistance. He pauses for a moment then pulls back a few inches then pushes past my barrier and into me a little further bringing a startled gasp from my lips because of the pain. He stops, letting me grow accustom to the fullness. Then he rocks back a little and pushes in until he is fully seated in me. I scream into his shoulder and hold myself tightly against him. _Holy shit!_ It hurts. He freezes.

"Tris?" he asks, panic in his voice.

"Give me a minute," I murmur, panting loudly. "You're so big. I wasn't ... I didn't know..." I let the words fall away. I relax the best I can, breathing through the pain, trying to make room for his girth. He moves to pull out of me, and I hold onto him with all my might. "No, Tobias. Make love to me, _please_. I need you." I kiss him and move my hips up to his to show him I'm okay. He's still for a long time – I know he's torn – but finally he groans and slowly moves his hips nearly all the way back, almost sliding out of me before gently pushing back into me, causing me to moan. Thankfully the pain is less this time. He keeps up this slow tempo of sliding out and pushing in, kissing me on the mouth, shoulders, and breasts for some time, allowing me time to get used to the feeling of having him inside me. It isn't long before the pain turns to sweet pleasure. Soon he's pushing harder, and I'm matching him thrust for thrust. The foreign pressure begins to build as the tempo quickens even faster causing me to have a hard time catching my breath. The pressure builds and builds with each thrust. I hold tight to him and treasure each new sensation flowing through my body. As I near my summit, he puts his hands on my hips, holding me tight, and speeds the rhythm even further.

"Oh God ... oh ... oh God ... Tobias ... oh _God_... _Tooobbbiiiaaasss_!" I scream as I reach the peak, experiencing my first orgasm. My eyes roll back in my head, my toes curl, and I grab ahold of his back with both hands. He thrusts into me one final time, holds completely still, and releases himself inside of me with a groan. My body quivers and spasms around his girth with aftershocks causing him to moan. Then he collapses on top of me, and I feel his entire weight on me. I wrap my arms around him and hold him close, unwilling to have him move even an inch away just yet. How could I have ever been scared of that? That was amazing. He leverages himself up on his forearm and runs his other hand through my curls. He lower his mouth to mine and kisses me sweetly.

"I love you, Tris," he breathlessly says, his voice full of emotion. He pulls out of me and gathers me up in his arms. I rest my head against his shoulder and my hand on his chest. We let our breathing return to normal. Every so often I feel his mouth in my hair. I lean my head back and reach up and stroke his face then pull him to me.

"I love you, Tobias Eaton, so much," I say before I pull his mouth to mine. I kiss him softly for a moment. When I breakaway from the kiss, I involuntarily yawn but I don't want to sleep. I want to enjoy this time with him.

"Get some sleep. I've set the alarm." I fight it as long as I can, and as I'm drifting off to sleep, safe and secure in his strong, loving arms, his hand caressing my hair, I think I hear him say, "I love you, Beatrice. More today than yesterday but not as much as tomorrow."


	38. Chapter 38

The blaring of the alarm jolts me awake, and I lean over and turn it off. My hand reaches out, searching for Tobias but all I feel is cold, empty sheets and I frown. I force my eyes to open and search the bedroom but it's empty. When I listen carefully, I can hear the shower running down the hall. I stretch and feel soreness in muscles I didn't even know I have, and sweet memories of early this morning come flooding back to me. I lie back and let them wash over me as I remember each kiss, each touch, each movement, each sensation, and a smile spreads over my lips.

I suddenly realize I'm lying in bed with nothing on, and Tobias will be out of the shower soon and nervous energy moves through me. I lean up and see my nightgown on the floor not too far from the bed where Tobias tossed it after he took it off of me. I sit on the edge of the mattress and step on my good foot and reach for the discarded garment and just barely touch it with my fingertips. I manage to scoop it up and let it slide over my head just in time to see Tobias come out of the bathroom with a towel wrapped around his hips.

"Good morning," I softly say, sliding back to sit on the side of the bed, letting my eyes travel up and down his nearly naked body. Remembering the feel of every inch of his body on mine, I blush.

"Good morning," he huskily says, taking in the site of my blush. He walks straight to me and sits on the edge of the bed beside me. I look up into his eyes, shyness suddenly enveloping me. "How are you feeling this morning, Tris? Are you okay?" He looks like he's standing on the edge of a high cliff and will either fall to his death or survive depending on my answer.

"I'm wonderful, Tobias," I say leaning up and placing a kiss on his lips. When we part, he smiles brightly at me then frowns slightly. "What?" I can't imagine what that look could be about.

"I hurt you this morning," he quietly says, sadness in his eyes. "I'm _so_ sorry."

"You didn't hurt me, Tobias," I say to him, confused.

"I did hurt you," he says. "You screamed out. You were in pain."

"Oh, Tobias, I'm not going to lie, it did hurt at first but after the pain faded, it was unlike anything I've ever felt before. Being with you ... it was absolutely amazing, and I feel silly for ever being afraid."

"We were amazing weren't we?" he says with a sly smile crossing his lips. I roll my eyes at him, and he pushes my back on the bed. His mouth eagerly lands on mine as his hands glide effortlessly up and down my body with the assistance of my silk nightgown. When I pull back panting I feel the necessity to remind him of our meeting.

"We have company coming over very soon, Tobias," I breathlessly say with a sigh, giving him one last kiss. "Now if you'll bring me my crutches I'll go to the bathroom and get ready because you need to get dressed then make me breakfast because I'm starving." He laughs a hearty belly laugh, one I've never heard before, and moves across the room to get my crutches.

I make my way to the bathroom to take a shower. I mean for it to be quick but the hot water soothes my sore, tired muscles, and I can't force myself to rush the process. After I'm done I wrap my body with one large fluffy towel and my hair in another then stare at myself in the mirror. I look for differences in my appearance but I don't really see any. Yes, my eyes are bright and shiny this morning, and there's a huge smile I can't seem to wipe off my face but honestly I don't want to. I've never been as happy as I am right now.

I finally put on some light makeup then style my still damp hair. I use some of the spray gel Christina gave me last night to make the style last longer. With my plush towel wrapped firmly around me I go out into the hallway and make my way to the bedroom. Tobias is downstairs making breakfast so I don't feel uncomfortable getting dressed. First I lay out my outfit on the unmade bed, drop the towel, and then quickly get dressed. I know I will get over my shyness one day, but I don't think this is that day. When I'm done dressing, I holler for Tobias, and he comes and carries me downstairs and deposits me on a barstool at the island.

I watch him work around the kitchen finishing our breakfast, and I feel my stomach tighten with desire. Oh boy, this is going to be a long meeting. He sets a huge plate of scrambled eggs, thick cut bacon, mixed fruit, and wheat toast with honey butter in front of me and sits down beside me. I practically inhale them. I knew I was hungry but I had no idea I was ravenous. Sex must really work up an appetite.

"Hey, slow down. There's more if you want it," he says, chuckling.

"I'm famished. I'll take more," I say to him, putting the last bite of eggs in my mouth. He goes around the island and grabs the skillet and puts more eggs on my plate and the rest on his. "Thanks!" I try to slow down but can't, and when I'm done I feel overly full. He takes our plates and puts them in the dishwasher then cleans up the kitchen while my eyes follow his every move.

"Thanks for a wonderful breakfast, Tobias," I say to him. He moves his eyes to mine, still wiping off the island, and I notice the same sparkle in his eyes that's in mine today.

"You're welcome, Tris. You know I love doing it." We stare at each other for a moment before he clears his throat. "Would you like to go to the couch?"

"Will you go get the wheelchair from downstairs that way I can get around down here without always having to ask for help?" I ask. He nods, moves around the island, kisses me, then heads out the door. Soon he's coming back into our spacious living room with the borrowed wheelchair. He pushes it in front of me, I get up, turn around, and sit down. He goes to push me where I want to go but I tell him to let me see if I can maneuver myself around the apartment. I'm wheeling myself around and around when there's a knock at the door. He opens it to let Tori, Will, and Christina in.

"Tris, what are you doing?" Christina asks when she sees me coming around the corner of the island, barely missing the cabinet.

"Learning to steer this thing. It isn't as easy as it looks," I tell her. "Actually, I'm quite dangerous. I keep running into things. Four and I will probably have to remodel the apartment after I give it back. Hey, are you staying for the meeting?"

"No, I'll be putting things away in our apartment while Will's here." She walks closer to me and squats down. "You okay? That was quite a note last night." My heart starts hammering in my chest at the thought of that note. I honestly had forgotten about it.

"I'm trying to keep positive. You really have no idea how that got onto the gift table?" She shakes her head.

"Several people brought gifts early, and I put them on the table but in no particular order and none of the gifts were for specific people so I don't know how you ended up with that. It must have been a shock."

"You have no idea. I don't even know how to explain it. We'll talk later. The sooner we get this meeting over with the sooner you can have Will back for the rest of your Sunday," I say and I can take my boyfriend back upstairs. She goes to Will and gives him a quick kiss then walks out the door and down the hall to her apartment. I wheel myself into the living room beside Tobias. Will and Tori sit on the couch.

"I called this meeting because of the so-called Christmas gift Tris opened last night," Tobias says. He goes into the kitchen and retrieves the unassuming little box with the menacing note inside off the counter and brings it to Will. Will opens the box, looks at the note, frowns, and then passes it on to Tori. She looks shocked not only because of the boxes contents but because her brother's name is on the note.

"What is this about?" she asks. I look at Tobias and realize now is the time to tell her about the deleted names. He nods at me, seeming to read my mind.

"I discovered something else about the two lists compiled by Eric, two deleted names. Tori, they were George and Amar. They were each deleted the day after their deaths." Will looks ashen and Tori gasps. I wheel myself over in front of her.

"Tori, Four and I didn't tell you about this because we still have no idea what all this means. We didn't want to add to your pain. I'm sorry," I say, truly wishing we would have told her immediately.

"Is there anything else you haven't told me?" she asks, spite thick in her voice, first looking at me and then Tobias. We deserve it, but it still stings.

"No, there isn't, and if you want to hold someone accountable for not telling you, that would be me. I didn't want to tell you, and I forbid Tris from telling you. Maybe it was the wrong decision, but I was trying to protect you, protect all of us. We still don't know 100% what these lists mean. We can only speculate that they're about Divergents but for all we know they could be about something entirely different."

"That's very unlikely," Tori says, mainly to herself.

"Where exactly did you get the box, Four?" Will asks bringing the conversation back to last night.

"I picked up two boxes that were sitting on the back right hand corner of the table. I walked back to our table, gave one of the boxes to Tris, and kept the other for myself."

"Were they with a lot of other packages or off by themselves?" Will inquires, wheels turning in his head. Tobias furrows his eyebrows indicating he's going back to that moment in his mind.

"Actually, I think they were by themselves. Why?" he asks, looking at Will but Will looks a million miles away.

"When I was taking in all the decorations last night after we first sat down at our table, I looked over at the gift table. All the gifts were in the middle of the table and on the left. There wasn't _anything_ on the right side of the table. I can't say who did this, but those boxes were put there in hopes that one of us, coming off the stage, would just grab them, and it worked."

"So it might not have been meant specifically for Tris?" Tori asks.

"I've already thought of that. I believe it was intended to reach one of us last night and whoever did it didn't care which one of us opened it. It was a scare tactic," I say. I want to add that it worked but I need to be brave right now, Dauntless. We sit in silence letting the enormity of the situation sink in. What can we do? "We have to talk to everyone on the first list and warn them. I think it's irresponsible not to, especially since Ivy's death and Hana's assault. We can't let anyone else get hurt or worse, die."

"I agree," Tori says. "We also need to show them the sketches we got from Hana to not only see if they can identify them but give them an idea of who to look out for."

"Tris had an interesting idea about our attackers," Tobias says. Will and Tori look at me, expectation on their faces.

"What bothers me the most is you didn't recognize the sketches, Tori. Seriously, who in Dauntless doesn't go to the tattoo parlor at least once in their life? It made me think. What if they aren't _active_ Dauntless members? What if they are from other factions or are factionless," I say, eliciting a gasp from Will. Tori furrows her eyebrows and just listens. "I also have another thought. What if they are utilizing the redistribution center to get Dauntless clothing?"

"That makes everything that much more difficult if they aren't Dauntless members," Will says, exasperated.

"You're partly right, Will, but we have something I'm not sure ex-members realize we have ... files."

"Files?" Will says, frowning. I forget he hasn't gotten a chance to go through everything like Tobias, Tori, and I have.

"We have a file for anyone who has ever lived in Dauntless, not just the current members but also dependents who transferred to other factions, transfers who didn't make the cut in one way or another, deceased members, and members who were forced out because they got too old, which one day we all really need to address. I find that act barbaric." Tobias smiles at my little rant. I've made it quite clear in the past that I think good members shouldn't be asked to leave just because they're getting older. "Four and Zeke have been concentrating on the surveillance footage and you two have been making sure you are out in front of people so no one has looked at the inactive files yet. There could be something there. You know, you guys could bring me some files, and I could go through them while I'm sitting here doing nothing."

"The doctor said no work," Tobias says firmly.

"How strenuous is it to sit on the couch with my feet up, ice on my ankle, and read files? It would be the same thing if I was reading a book. _Please_ let me help. I would feel so much better about myself and the situation," I look at Tobias for a moment, and the others in the room seem to disappear.

"Okay. I'll bring you 10-20 files after lunch each day and you can go through them," he says.

"Thank you," I say, suddenly wishing we were alone. I try to shake the fog of desire off while we have company but it isn't easy.

"So, do you think someone in Dauntless is helping these people?" Will asks.

"I do believe at least one person in the compound is helping them but I can't figure out why we can't find them," I say, then I remember something from an earlier meeting. "Tori, did you talk to my dad, Caleb, Summer, and Sofia about whether the other factions have any situations like we have?"

"I did ask each of them but they said they haven't, and they were quite surprised about what is going on here," Tori says.

"Even Caleb?" I ask, not really knowing why I ask the question.

"Yes, why?" she says.

"I don't know. He's Erudite now. He may be my brother and I love him but I don't trust Erudite. I may never again," I say. Everyone nods at my assessment, agreeing with me.

"Alright," Tobias says, trying to end the meeting. "I'll start bringing documents to Tris tomorrow after lunch. She'll look for our perpetrators in the inactive files. Will, you will tour Dauntless keeping an eye out for any strange behavior. Tori, you and I will start calling people from the first list into my office to notify them of the potential danger and ask them if they can identify the men in the sketches. We need to make the decision whether to tell them about the second list, the people keeping tabs on them."

"I say you ask them if they recognize any of the names on the second list and if they do, how but don't give them a reason as to why. Just tell them it's part of the ongoing investigation," Will says.

"I agree," Tori and I say at the same time, causing us to laugh lightly.

"Well, I think that's it. Sorry to have bothered you both on a Sunday, but I didn't think this could wait," Tobias says getting up and going toward the door. He's not being very subtle about wanting them to leave. Tori leaves but Will lingers for a moment.

"Christina and I are getting closer to being 100% moved into the apartment, and we want to invite you two over for supper. We were thinking Wednesday night, if that's okay." Tobias looks my way, and I eagerly nod at him.

"That would be great, Will," he says as he puts his hand out to him. They shake then Tobias shuts and locks the door behind Will.

"You practically threw them out of here. What's up?" I ask him with a bit of a frown on my face. He comes over and sweeps me up out of the wheelchair and into his arms. He kisses me as he carries me over to the couch.

"This is _our_ day. I don't like sharing you with anyone on Sundays," he says with his lips on mine. "What would you like to do today?" Suddenly the desire that flamed earlier surges through me.

"I know what we can do," I say running my hand down his chest. I lean forward to kiss him, but he tenses, catches my hand, and backs away from me. I automatically frown at him again.

"That isn't exactly what I had in mind, Tris. I was thinking more along the lines of a movie or making those cookies you were talking about last night," he says. That isn't what I want. I move to straddle his lap but he doesn't let my hand go, and he doesn't ease his rigid posture.

"Both of those things sound really nice, Tobias, but I know something that's a lot more fun. We can go upstairs and spend a lazy Sunday afternoon in bed. _That_ sounds good to me." He lets my hand go, and I wrap my arms around his neck and gaze into his eyes, letting the offer hang in the air. I see indecision in his eyes. He finally relaxes so I lean forward slowly and place my lips to his and kiss him softly. I open my mouth and run my tongue over his bottom lip, and he groans and opens his mouth. I lightly bite his bottom lip when I pull away from him. Then I lean back and look into his eyes. The indecision has been replaced by longing but he is still holding himself back, and I don't understand why. "Tobias, please talk to me. Tell me what's going on in that mind of yours."

"I would love nothing more than to carry you upstairs and make love to you," he groans. He hesitates and I know something's working on him. "I hurt you this morning, Tris. I could hear pain in your voice. I don't ever want to do that again." So that's what this is about, he's afraid of hurting me. I can't lie to him and tell him it won't hurt because I imagine with his size and my inexperience that it will hurt some for a while.

"Tobias. Look at me," I say. He finally raises his trouble-filled eyes to mine. He almost looks … ashamed. "You didn't hurt me this morning. Yes, it was painful at first but I think that's normal. I was a virgin." How do I voice this next part? "And you're big," I whisper, not able to quite meet his gaze, heat coloring my cheeks. "I think it'll take us some time before the pain totally goes away. Please don't think you're hurting me."

"It killed me when you screamed," he says, wrapping his arms around me, burying his head in my shoulder, and pulling me close to him. My heart constricts seeing him this way even though he's being silly. "You don't understand. Every part of my being shouts at me to protect you and keep you safe, and then _I'm_ the one who made that sound come out of your mouth." I don't know how to comfort him so I just cling to him. I pull away after a while. I take a deep breathe needing to get to the bottom of this.

"Can I ask you something?" I say. He looks into my eyes with a grave look on his face and nods. "If you hurt me, do you think I'd be with you right now trying to talk you into going upstairs and make love to me?" He thinks about this and frowns. His logic is flawed, and he's beginning to understand that. I move my mouth next to his ear and say, "You didn't _hurt_ me, Tobias. You _loved_ me and I would like you to love me again."

"You're right. I'm being stupid," he says as he stands up, bringing me with him. He gracefully sweeps me up into his arms once again making my heart flutter, puts his lips on mine, and carries me up the stairs.


	39. Chapter 39

He gently lies me down in the middle of our bed after pulling the quilt and top sheet off and tossing them to the floor. I pull him down with me so I can feel his weight on me, which I now crave. He tenderly caresses my face while I gaze lovingly into his expressive dark blue eyes. They darken slightly and dilate as we stare at one another, signaling to me he wants me as much as I want him. He slowly lowers his mouth to mine, building the anticipation even more. Finally his lips lands on mine, and he kisses me slowly, thoroughly exploring every inch of my mouth with his talented tongue. I wrap my arms around him and pull him as close as I can, then I let my hands wander over his back, lightly tracing every inch of his familiar tattoo from memory. His hands wander up and down my body leaving a trail of heat everywhere he touches. Soon his hand sneaks its way up under the hem of my t-shirt, and I feel the caress of his callused fingertips on the soft skin of my stomach and side sending tremors straight between my thighs.

"Sit up, Tobias," I say, breathlessly, lightly pushing him off of me. He sits back, allowing me to sit up. I boldly place my hands on the hem of his skintight long-sleeved black t-shirt, not taking my eyes off of his, and slowly raise it up trailing my fingertips behind. He raises his arms to allow me to get his shirt off over his head, and I casually toss it to the floor. He moves his hands to my hips and deliberately places them under the hem of my shirt. I lift my hands above my head to help him, and he impatiently raises my shirt in one quick fluid motion and tosses it over his shoulder. He puts his arms around me and pushes me back down on the bed but my feet get tangled slightly with his, causing a gasp to escape my lips involuntarily. He freezes, concern on his face, and looks deep into my eyes, which are flickering with pain.

"It's just my ankle. It got caught up. I just need to move it. I'm okay," I say, hoping this little mishap hasn't ended our afternoon early.

"Have you taken your medicine today?" he asks, leveraging himself above me, always the caregiver. Do I dare lie to him and tell him yes? I sigh.

"No, I haven't." He goes to get off the bed, and I wrap my hands around his arm and pull as hard as I can but it barely moves him. "Don't leave," I plead.

"Hey," he says running his hand down the side of my face. "I'll be right back, I promise." I relent and let him go. When he leaves the room, I flop back on the bed, pouting.

"That's a hell of a face," he says with humor in his voice from across the room. When I finally open my eyes, he's standing by the bed with a grin on his face and a glass of water in one hand and three pills in the other. "Take these," he says as he hands me both. I take the medicine with the water then hand the glass back to him. He puts it on top of the dresser then walks back over to me and slides into bed beside me. I look up at him.

"You're not stopping?" I ask, new hope bubbling up in me.

"Not unless you want to," he says with a devilish grin on his face.

"Why didn't you wait until after then?" I shyly ask, really wanting to know.

"Do you think I could enjoy myself with you in pain, Tris? You don't know me very well then," he says running his hand through my hair. He doesn't want me in pain. "I love you too much for that."

"I love you, Tobias … so much. Now where were we?" He gently places his lips to mine and kisses me sweetly. After a few minutes he opens my mouth with his, and we let our tongues dance. I let my hands roam over his hard chest and down to his rock solid abs. He moans into my open mouth at my touch. We break apart to catch our breath, and he starts lightly trailing the tip of his tongue down my neck, placing butterfly kisses on my collar bone. I feel my breath coming quicker as my heart threatens to burst out of my chest. He slowly kisses my largest raven, then licks to the next placing a kiss on it. I gasp and toss my head to the side on the pillow. He kisses my third and final raven then pops back up momentarily and places a deep, need-filled kiss on my lips. He reaches beneath me and expertly unhooks my bra but doesn't move it away from my body. I hold tight to him and let my energy flow into him. Once again he breaks our kiss then repeats the licking, kissing, and teasing until he reaches my bra. I struggle for breath when he reaches up and moves the straps down my arms and away, really exposing me to him for the first time. He's had quick peeks here and there before but now he's filling his eyes, taking in the site before him. I can't help it, the hungry look in his eye causes me to blush from head to toe.

"God, you're beautiful. Don't be embarrassed. You're so perfect," he says. I watch him as he places his mouth on my breast and draws my nipple into his mouth. A ripple shoots from his mouth directly to my womanhood as I arch my back. He teases me with his tongue, rolling it over and around the bud, biting tenderly. I wind my fingers in his hair and hold him to me with all my might, not ever wanting this to stop. The sensation is even better than it was this morning. He moves his mouth to my other breast and repeats the sweet torture.

"Oh, God!" I moan as he keeps licking, sucking, biting, and teasing. I actually feel him smile against my skin. He moves his mouth to just below my breasts and trails kisses down to my navel. By this time, my breath is coming in short pants. He leans between my parted legs and puts his hands on the waistband of my yoga pants, then looks up into my eyes. I raise my hips a little, allowing him to slowly slide my pants down, trailing his fingers along my skin, teasing me, until he tosses them to the floor along with my shirt and bra. I tremble with each touch, longing to be closer to him now that what once was a tiny spark is a raging inferno. He kisses each pelvic bone lovingly then kisses his way back up until I'm writhing with lust. When his hungry mouth lands on mine, I swear I'm going to explode.

After a long moment of his lips moving deliberately and expertly with mine, making the anticipation grow to new heights, I move my body to let him know that I want on top. He carefully rolls us, and I straddle his hips and sit up looking down into his glassy eyes. He reaches up and covers my chest with his hands, massaging gently, and I toss my head back and moan as he rolls my nipples between his thumbs and fingers. When I find that I once again can breathe, I run just my fingertips down the muscles of his flawless chest to his rock hard abs, which honestly make me a little jealous. How is it that this perfect specimen of a man was made for me? I lower myself so that I am lying flat against him, giving him my entire weight. I lean up and kiss his left eye, then move and kiss his right eye. I kiss the tip of his nose and move to kiss the end of his chin. I finally move my mouth to his and leisurely kiss him. Then I trail my tongue lightly down and kiss the sensitive spot beneath his right ear then kiss the ear itself, sticking my tongue in a little. He lets out a ragged moan as I suck on the lobe and wraps his arms around me so tight that it's almost painful.

"Not so rough, Tobias," I say, the desire-laced voice sounding foreign to my own ears, and he loosens his grip on me. I reach behind me, taking his hands in mine and raise them up over his head. I lace my fingers with his, pushing him back with my weight, never taking my eyes off of his, making him my prisoner. I kiss him again, this time with more passion, then I return my mouth to his right ear, one of the most sensitive spots on his body I've found so far. I lightly trace all the lines with my tongue, teasing, probing, and kissing. He groans again, louder and escapes my hold and roams his hands gently all over my back, up to the shoulders, then down to my behind, squeezing gently. I tangle the fingers of my right hand in his hair and caress him with the fingers of my left hand. I trail sweet little kisses down his neck from his ear. I release my fingers from his hair and slide down his body enjoying what the friction does to my now sensitive nipples, dropping kisses as I go.

When I reach his chest, I look up into his eyes and seductively lick my lips then lightly flick my tongue out and lap at his hard bud. He groans and throws his head back. I can't hide my delight at his pleasure and a girlish giggle escapes my lips. He moans again when I wrap my lips around his nipple, pulling it into my mouth like he did with mine. He moves his hands and tangles them in my hair, holding me to him. I tease and kiss him for a while before slowly moving across his chest. I lick, bite, kiss, suck, and tease until he roughly pulls me up to his mouth and kisses me with ferocity, his tongue deftly moving in and out of my mouth like he's making love to it. I pull back when I can no longer think straight and kiss my way back down his body never taking my eyes off of his. Finally, I lean back on my knees in between his spread legs and put my hands on the waistband of his jeans. His hands come to help me but I shake my head no at him, and he lets them drop. My hands visibly shake as I unbutton his pants and move to his zipper. I take a deep breath to calm my nerves then quickly move the zipper down feeling his hard manhood beneath my hand causing a ripple of desire to shoot through my body and my mouth to go dry. I lick my lips while still looking in his eyes and inch his jeans down his body. He raises his hips to help me, and I pull his jeans down and off and throw them with the other discarded clothing. I turn my attention back to him and gasp, my eyes growing large as I take in the site in front of me. He is leaning up on his elbows, his eyes glazed over with pure lust and his chest heaving rugged breaths in and out, in little black and gray striped boxer briefs that are doing little to contain his engorged manhood.

"Don't be scared, Tris. That's just how much I want you right now," he hoarsely says, taking in the panic in my eyes. I swallow the fear down and raise my eyes up to his and take in his gentle, loving look. I smile at him and let my hands trail up his thighs as I make my way to straddle his hips again. He wastes no time in flipping us over so that he's lying in between my outstretched legs. He gently puts his mouth to mine, unhurriedly kissing me, opening mine once again with his. He traces along my teeth with his tongue then playfully bites my bottom lip before he moves his mouth down my neck. He kisses me in the valley below my left ear, causing me to gasp. He gradually moves down my body kissing, nipping, licking, and caressing every inch of exposed skin. When his hands grasp the waistband of my underwear, my heart stops. He slowly lowers my lacy boy shorts over my hips and moves them down and off my legs, kissing just below my navel, tossing them to the ground. I force myself to breathe in a ragged breath. I suddenly feel extremely shy without that last little strip of lace and elastic as I lie au natural before him. A blush starts in my chest and spreads slowly outward.

"Perfect, absolutely perfect," he says, barely audible taking in my bare womanhood. My pulse quickens as I lie back, anticipation spreading through me like a wildfire moves through a dry forest but he doesn't move. He kisses all around my navel, then starts lightly sticking his tongue in my bellybutton like he's giving it a long, slow, sensual French kiss causing the sweet pressure that's already building between my legs to grow even more urgent. I close my eyes, taking in each new sensation. I feel him slide himself further down on the bed then raise my right leg and place it bent over his shoulder. He then wraps his right arm around my thigh and starts caressing the valley between my pubic bones with his callused fingertips.

I raise my head to look at him, questioning him with my eyes, and he says, "Do you trust me?" I have no words right now so I just nod at him. He starts kissing and licking the inside of my right thigh causing a moan to escape my lips, and I collapse back on the mattress. He kisses and teases me until I don't think I can take it anymore. When I feel him place his lips directly on my womanhood, I stop breathing all together. Then he flicks his tongue out to lightly touch the sensitive little nubbin between my legs, and I gasp at the touch of his tongue on such a private place. I try to move away but he's holding me firmly in place. He kisses and licks all around my opening before he returns to my nubbin, licking, sucking, lightly biting, and teasing causing the pressure between my legs to build at an alarming rate. My breath is coming quicker and quicker. I'm convinced that soon I won't be able to breathe at all. Then he gently inserts his middle finger inside of me, slowly pushing it in then pulling it almost all the way out then back in. He keeps this slow pace for a while, never letting his tongue wander very far away from my nubbin, driving me absolutely crazy. God, this feels _so_ good. Soon he adds a second finger and I moan. He quickens the rhythm of his fingers and his tongue, and I involuntarily move my hips to meet each of his movements. I grasp the hand that's laying on my belly, and we lace our fingers together. I hold tight as I'm about to go over the edge. He speeds his fingers and talented tongue even more, and I can't hold back anymore. I scream, louder than I've ever screamed before in my life. I thrash around on the bed as wave after crushing wave of pain-laced pleasure courses through my entire body. He holds tight to my leg and keeps the steady rhythm with his fingers and tongue as I ride the wave of bliss. Spasm after spasm course through my body, and I finally collapse back onto the bed trying to catch my breath.

I feel the bed slightly move, and I roll my head to the side and watch Tobias slide his boxer briefs over his hips, down his legs, and off, then toss them on the floor, his eyes on mine the entire time. He stands back from the bed letting me get my eyes full, and I go breathless again. If I would have seen what I'm looking at right now this morning, I would have been terrified. He has to be a good 9-inches long and 2½-inches around. How in the world did that fit inside me? My slowing breath speeds, and my heart hammers painfully in my chest. He gently climbs onto the bed between my outstretched legs and positions himself at my entrance. He leans up over me, and I pull him down on top of me. He gives me a long, deep, slow kiss, and I taste myself on his lips and probing tongue causing me to tingle everywhere. I feel him enter me an inch or two and I gasp. It doesn't hurt as much as it did this morning since I'm extremely wet from the orgasm he just gave me but it's still uncomfortable. He pulls his mouth away from mine.

"So tight," he breathes into my ear, then he kisses the side of my face. He leans up a little on his forearms and looks into my eyes. He's caressing my hair when he pulls back slightly and pushes another few inches into me. I moan, close my eyes, and clamp my fingertips onto his hips. He stays still inside me, giving me a moment to get used to his size, and soon I relax my hands. Then he leans down, kisses me, pulls back, and pushes in again. I instinctively widen my legs to help make room within me for his substantial size. He rotates his hips a bit and puts his mouth on the hollow of my throat and kisses me. After a moment he looks down at me and asks permission with his eyes. I nod to him, and he pulls back a couple of inches then buries himself in me. To suppress another scream, I pull his mouth to mine and kiss him with passion, lust, love, and awe. He once again stops moving. He leans up on his elbows and looks down into my eyes, love clear on his face.

"You are _so_ beautiful," he says. I tenderly caress his face with just my fingertips. We lie like this for a long moment just staring into each other's eyes.

"I love you, Tobias Eaton," I say, signaling that I'm okay and that I'm ready. He slowly withdraws almost his entire length out of me then pauses, prolonging the anticipation of having him once again fill me fully, my new favorite feeling.

"I love you, Beatrice Prior," he says as he thrusts forward, burying himself again. I bite my lip to keep from crying out, tightly wrap my arms around him, and search for his mouth. We kiss leisurely as he sets a slow, steady in-and-out pace, just like our first time, letting me get used to his size and the feeling of having him inside me. I meet every single one of his powerful thrusts with one of my own. Soon I feel the now familiar pressure building slightly lower than my navel and can't believe I can come again in such a short amount of time. He speeds the pace a little, and I bring his mouth to mine again, kissing him with a newfound passion. I only release him when I need to breathe.

"Oh, God," I say when a little tremor threatens to become a full-fledged earthquake. I start raising my hips to his with a fevered urgency. He gets the message, speeding the pace up further. The pressure builds and builds with each thrust, with each touch, with each kiss. I don't want this to end yet but I can't hold on much longer. My breath is coming in short little pants as he thrusts into me over and over. I finally can't hold myself back anymore, and another scream bursts free from my lips as the earthquake surges through my body causing my eyes to roll back in my head. I cling to him as he thrusts into me at a now frenzied pace, reverberations trembling through my body. I meet each of his last thrusts with my own hips, helping him past his summit. He leans back slightly, grabs my hips, buries himself to the hilt, and unloads his passion then collapses on top of me.

I wrap my arms and legs around him, keeping him buried deeply within me, where I want him to be. He lies in my arms, his entire weight on me. I run my hands tenderly up and down his back as we let our heart rates and breathing return to normal. He leans up on his elbows, and I look into his stormy blue eyes. He smiles at me then lowers his mouth slowly to mine and gives me an emotional kiss. He rolls us onto our sides, taking his weight off of me, but not letting our lips part. He slips out of me and sadness bubbles up at the empty feeling. He puts his left leg between mine, and I put my right one over his, resting my sore ankle. He finally breaks the kiss and cups my cheek with his hand.

"I love you, Tris."

"I love you, too, Tobias."


	40. Chapter 40

Tobias and I lie tangled up in each other's arms, not speaking. We just stare into one another's eyes in between long, slow, loving, tender kisses and listen to the sweet sound of the other's breathing for what seems like hours when I start to feel the chill of the late-December afternoon and a shiver rushes through me. Without saying a word, Tobias disentangles himself from my limbs and gets out of bed and retrieves the cozy extra-large quilt from the floor where he tossed it before we made love. He places it over me, then slides back into bed, returning his body to its previous position, apparently not ready for our lazy Sunday afternoon in bed to be over. I lean up and place my lips to his once again. We leisurely kiss, tangled up with each other once again. Soon he pulls away and rolls over onto his back and stretches. I stay on my side and snuggle up against his warm hard body, lying my head on his chest and placing my right leg over his, keeping it elevated. He wraps his right arm around me, winding strands of my hair around his fingers over and over and laces the fingers of his other hand with mine over his heart.

There are many things whirling around in my scattered mind right now that I want to talk to him about but I don't want to ruin this absolutely perfect moment. I've never been forthcoming about sex. It has always been an uncomfortable subject for me to talk about, somewhat taboo, and I don't know how to change these deep-seated feelings. I didn't even think about sex until I looked into Tobias' perfect dark blue eyes as he helped me out of the net the day I jumped into his life. Now it's a subject that quite honestly is almost always on my mind in one way or another. I want our relationship to be an open and honest one. I want to be able to talk with him about anything and everything without fear or embarrassment building to a fevered pitch but I quite honestly don't know how to start the conversation that's running through my head.

Soon my stomach growls, and he starts laughing, the deep belly laugh that I've only heard today. I love it so much already. He slides out of bed, and I take in the flawless site of his naked body as he goes to the dresser to take out a pair of his sleep pants. He's absolutely perfect, and desire stirs within me as I look at him. He slides the silky dark gray material over his nakedness, taking away my lovely view then turns back to me. He throws me my black lacy boy shorts, which landed clear across the room between the dresser and the wall, which is quite a feat if you ask me, after he took them off of me. I slide to the edge of the bed, trying not to be nervous about my own bareness and slide my undies on. With the protection of the small lace shorts now covering me, I don't feel quite as self-conscious. He's picking up our scattered clothing and didn't realize I got up. He stops when he sees me sitting on the edge of the bed and lets his eyes roam from the top of my head to the tips of my toes bringing a blush to my cheeks. The look in his eyes is one of pure pleasure. He looks in his hands like he forgot what it was he was doing then walks across the room to drop the clothes in the hamper. He goes back to our dresser and gets the t-shirt that he let me borrow the first couple of nights I stayed at his place and walks it over to me.

"Will you wear this tonight?" he shyly asks.

"Of course," I say. I stand on my good leg and playfully put my hands over my head, and he smiles down at me. He puts the t-shirt over my arms then pulls it over my head and lets it fall. It comes just below my knees but I know it's much longer than some dresses that Kirsten wears. I can't help but laugh at how I used to be so shy in this t-shirt because Tobias could see my legs. Now he's seen all of me.

He sweeps me up into his arms, and our mouths find each other automatically. He kisses me passionately all the way down the stairs. He pulls his mouth away from mine and sighs a little then gently places me on the couch. He goes to the freezer to retrieve the ice pack. He brings it over, grabbing the throw off the club chair as he walks by, and gently sets the frozen slush-filled bag on my right leg and forms it to the shape of my ankle. Then he covers me with the throw so I won't get too cold and heads into the kitchen to make supper.

He makes a very simple supper of grilled cheese sandwiches, which he makes with thick slices of crispy bacon and American, Swiss, and Cheddar cheeses on grilled sourdough bread and thick, creamy tomato basil soup. He brings the food to me on the couch, which is where we usually eat during our Sunday night home cooked meals. For some reason we find it cozier. I eat my sandwich slowly, savoring every delicious bite. He serves the steaming soup in a mug, and I drink it unhurriedly but I still finish before he does. I take him up on the offer of seconds, which I normally don't do but our extracurricular activities today are messing with my appetite. We each have another half sandwich and mug of soup then he puts all the dirty dishes in the dishwasher and starts it. He comes over to the couch eyeing me suspiciously the entire time.

"You have something on your mind, Tris." This is a statement, not a question. "Do you want to tell me what it is?" he asks after he sits on the opposite end of the couch, placing my feet in his lap. He's so in tune with me and seems to pick up on the smallest change in my mood. It should be easier to talk with him now since we're no longer in bed, naked in each other's arms. My stomach muscles tighten at the sweet memories of this afternoon, and I flush bright red. After a moment, I slightly shake my head to clear the desire-filled thoughts.

"There are a few things I want to talk to you about," I start. I take a deep breath and meet his eyes, which are curious. "Please bear with me. You know this subject isn't very easy for me because of where we were brought up." I pause for a few moments, gathering my jumbled thoughts. "I need to know about your reaction to this morning. How can you think you hurt me, Tobias? I really don't understand, and I _want_ to understand."

"How do I explain this to you? It isn't going to make a lot of sense. When you screamed and grabbed onto me, I could _hear_ pain in your voice," he quietly says, looking straight in front of him. "The fact that _I_ was the reason for that pain made my heart shatter into a million pieces, and I hated myself. I don't ever want to cause you pain, physical or emotional … for any reason whatsoever."

"Is there anything else? It feels like you're holding something back, that there's something more." I can't shake the feeling that there's more to this story, that he doesn't want me to know something. He hangs his head, and the room is deathly quiet for quite some time. I wait for him to answer me in his own time.

"When I left Abnegation, I brought the scars of that life here to Dauntless. I made myself a promise the day I jumped into that net that I've kept until this morning. I promised myself that I would never cause someone I love pain, and I caused you pain this morning. I know up here," he points to his head, "that what we were doing, making love, wasn't ... Oh God, I told you I don't know how to explain this." He gently moves my legs off of his lap, gets off the couch, and starts pacing back and forth in front of me. "Let me start over. When I made that promise, I was promising myself that I would never _abuse_ someone the way my father abused me. When I heard the pain in your voice, because of me, it didn't matter in that moment that it was because I was making love to you and that it was new to both of us. All I could hear was the pain put there by me, and all I could think was that it happened ... I turned out exactly like Marcus after everything I've done to ensure that would never happen." A single tear slides slowly down my cheek, and I don't try to stop it. This isn't a tear showing weakness, and it isn't a tear telling him he's weak. It's a tear celebrating the brave child he was to survive that hell.

"I am _so_ sorry, Tobias," I start to say but he interrupts me.

" _You_ have absolutely nothing to be sorry about," he says whirling around, regret in his eyes.

"Yes, I do," I say beckoning him with a finger. He sighs and comes to the couch. I move to let him sit down beside me. I lean up against his side, and he automatically wraps his arm around me, pulling me close. "I'm sorry that one scream hurt you so much. That painful moment, and that's all it was, a moment in time trying to get used to the feeling of you totally inside me for the first time, is haunting you more than it is me. I want today, as a whole, to be a wonderful memory for you, not a jaded one. Thank you for telling me why you feel the way you do. I do understand. I just need to tell you, you _need_ to understand this. You never hurt me today, not once. I wish I could tell you exactly how today has made me feel, but there ... there are no words. You joked earlier that we were amazing together, but that's no joke, Tobias. It's unfathomable for so many reasons, but we are _exactly_ right for each other on every level, and we fit together perfectly. Please remember that. Also remember you are _nothing_ like Marcus. I wouldn't be here if you were."

"Thank you, Tris. I have one question though. Why do you think that it's unfathomable for us to be perfect for each other?" He's looking directly into my eyes, piercing straight through to my soul.

"I often feel like I'm not good enough for you. I still have trouble thinking that I deserve you, deserve your love, deserve all this," I quietly say as I motion to our home. "When we first started dating, I would touch you and I would _feel_ your heart start to race, and I was amazed that I made you feel the _exact_ same way you make me feel. There are times I feel like this is all one big dream and I will wake up in a different life, remembering every detail of this one, and I will feel cosmically cheated." He smiles at me for a long moment and then lowers his lips to mine and kisses me softly. The casual contact shoots electricity through every vein, making my body zing with energy.

"It amazes me that we so often have the same thoughts and feelings. I could have said exactly, word for word, what you just said." His eyes become curious once again and he says, "I know you have something else on your mind. Do you mind sharing?"

"Sex," squeaks out but that isn't exactly what I was trying to say. I look down, heat rising into my face once again. I look at him and see that he's trying very hard to hold back a smile, possibly a laugh. I take two deep breathes and look at the floor again. "It isn't funny, Tobias. I should be able to have a simple conversation with you about," I want to say sex but instead say, "anything but I'm ... embarrassed."

"Hey, look at me," he pulls my chin up until I'm looking in his serious eyes. "Let's make a pact right here, right now. We can say absolutely anything to each other, even if it's scary or embarrassing without fear or judgment. Okay?"

"Okay," I say nodding my head. I take another couple of deep breathes trying to calm myself further and duck my head into his shoulder. I know I won't get this out if I'm looking into his curious eyes. "Where did you learn that, with your tongue and fingers?" It barely comes out above a whisper. He's quiet for a moment, pondering. I know my face has to be bright red but I really want to know the answer to this question.

"Did you like that?" he quietly asks after a while. "I wasn't sure you would."

"I was ... surprised ... at first, and I'm ashamed to admit this, Tobias, but I never thought anything like that even existed. I didn't understand what you were going to do but when you touched me ... the way you did, it felt so good, unlike anything else. Yes, I liked it, _a lot_ in fact. How did you know to do that? I'm almost certain they don't know anything about that in Abnegation." He pulls me closer to his side, and presses his lips into my hair.

"This morning I was doing some work on the computer when I couldn't sleep, and my thoughts kept drifting to you, as they so often do," he says, kissing the top of my head. "I was still upset with myself, and I wanted to find a way that would make it easier ... for you ... to take me," he quietly says, blushing also and I see that this subject is just as difficult for him as it is for me. "I remembered all the conversations I've had with Zeke and the guys over the years. Actually it's more like all the conversations I've _listened_ to between Zeke and the guys ever since we've been friends. I will admit that the majority of my sex education has come from them." He blushes deeper. "I thought about calling Zeke but I couldn't bring myself to do that, so I started doing some research on the computer to better familiarize myself with what I could remember and I found that. It helped you didn't it. It seemed like it was easier for you this afternoon."

"Yes, it helped. It didn't hurt nearly as bad this afternoon as it did the first time. A little at first but it's mainly getting used to ... your size," I whisper. "I didn't make myself very clear this morning, but you are big, Tobias, and I just wasn't ready for that. I'm so thankful that our first time was in the dark because if I would have seen you then, I don't think I could have gone through with it. It scared me." We sit in awkward silence for a moment.

"What was your favorite part?" he asks, his voice husky.

"That's easy. You being so close to me. Feeling you inside me. Once I got past the pain, it was pure pleasure and ... fullness. I can't properly explain what I felt except for just that, full. You can't imagine how good it feels. I know it might sound cheesy to say but it's like you actually _do_ perfectly fill a missing part of me, like you _were_ made for me." We laugh lightheartedly at my admission. "What about you, Tobias? What did you like the best?"

"Let me think," he says, pondering the memories I imagine. "There are so many things that I could choose but I think seeing you, all of you, for the first time this afternoon is my best memory from today. You are the absolute most beautiful creature on this planet, and you are right. We were made for each other. I will never love another. There's only you," he says before he lowers his mouth to mine. He kisses me passionately, thoroughly but we're both absolutely too exhausted to let the kiss lead anywhere further.

He gets off the couch, turns the Christmas tree lights on, turns off the living room lights, and then sits back down on the corner of the couch facing the tree. He puts one leg on the floor and the other behind me and pulls me in, and I lounge against him. I hold his right hand with mine, and we sit in comfortable silence, enjoying the feeling of each other's bodies close to one another's and watching the dancing lights on the Christmas tree. I let my mind drift back over every single moment of today and relive every touch, every look, and every kiss. Suddenly, I become a little sad and angry at the same time.

"If we ever have kids, Tobias, promise me that we'll tell them the truth about sex, the whole truth even if it's hard to do, that we won't hold anything back. I feel cheated, and I'm very angry at my mom right now that she didn't explain to me exactly what sex is and what it's about. I appreciate that she told me the mechanics or I would have been completely blind coming into this relationship. I've learned more from Christina in the past five months, and obviously from you today, than I did from my own mother. I can't forget that and at least right now, I'm not willing to forgive. I would really like to go over to my mom and dad's and confront her. I know I never will, but I would love to," I say, one sentence running into the next. He's listening to me ramble, letting me get out my negative feelings without commenting on them. "I feel like Abnegation robbed me of that experience, an open and honest relationship with my own mom or at the very least one open and honest conversation. After experiencing it first hand, I don't see how they can think that sex is selfish. You weren't selfish today. I don't think I was. As a matter of fact you were quite selfless today, and I must say thank you. I don't know if that's the right sentiment but thank you, Tobias, for today, for loving me. I love you. I love you for who you are. I love you for how you make me feel. I love you for who I am with you." I sigh. "I just love you."

"Are you done?" he asks with a chuckle after I've been quiet for a moment.

"Yes, smart ass," I say, rolling my eyes even though he can't see me.

"I love you too, my Six," he says tenderly kissing my neck. We lounge together on the couch in each other's arms the rest of the evening making small talk and watching the dazzling Christmas tree lights dance sending prisms across the floor, wall, windows, and ceiling.


	41. Chapter 41

I wake nestled close up against Tobias, his arms wrapped protectively around me, feeling every hard muscle of his body against my backside, just like a set of spoons in the utensil drawer. I feel the steady rise and fall of his chest telling me that he's still deep asleep. I don't move to see what time it is, trying to avoid waking him up. I'm afraid one little move will cause him to spring out of bed and into action because he's been hovering a bit this week.

In the middle of the night Tuesday morning, I woke up feeling absolutely dreadful and had to abruptly wake Tobias to have him take me to the bathroom before I got sick in the middle of our bedroom. That would have been really bad. He wanted to immediately take me to the infirmary but I convinced him that it was just a bug, and I would feel better in a couple of days. I spent the whole day Tuesday and Wednesday curled up on the couch with the quilt wrapped tightly around me like a cocoon with a bucket on the floor in front of me. At first I just had the fuzzy gray throw covering me, which normally is warm enough but he finally brought the quilt downstairs when he could no longer stand the sound of my teeth chattering together. For once I was actually thankful for the doctor-imposed house arrest. It was bad enough that we ended up cancelling our plans to make Christmas cookies on Tuesday night and dinner with Will and Christina on Wednesday night but since I was already at home recuperating from my fall, it didn't disrupt the work schedule.

I managed to go through approximately 30 of the inactive files Monday afternoon. I probably would have gotten to more of them but one minute Tobias was across the room in the kitchen asking me what sounded good for lunch, watching me flip absent-mindedly through one of the files, and the next we were upstairs making love. That was one of the most pleasant lunches I've ever had and no food was served. Unfortunately, getting the flu has put a kink in our love life, and even though I'm tangled up in his arms at this very moment, I miss him desperately. He has flipped a switch in me, activating something deep down inside I didn't even know existed. Christina was right about the emotional side of sex changing you. It has definitely changed me. These new emotions are overwhelming and all consuming. I don't even know how to explain it. I just know that I love him desperately.

I feel Tobias stir behind me. He pulls me closer, if that's possible, and sighs. I lie perfectly still in his arms trying not to wake him further if he isn't ready to get up. After a while I can tell he isn't going back to sleep, and I turn in his arms and look up at him.

"Good morning," I say.

"Good morning," he replies, kissing my forehead. I'm sure I'm not supposed to know he's checking my temperature but I do. "How are you feeling this morning?"

"Much better, thank you. How are you feeling? I haven't given anything to you have I?" I ask. He hasn't had so much as a sniffle but we both would like to keep it that way.

"I feel fine. After I brought you to bed last night and you fell asleep I got up and washed everything downstairs with the bleach solution and sprayed the couch like the infirmary suggested." Even though I talked him out of taking me to the infirmary, he insisted on calling them. They informed him there was in fact a bug going around Dauntless, and the best thing for it was rest and plenty of liquids, which I was already doing. They also told him to wipe all hard surfaces down with a special bleach solution and spray an aerosolized disinfectant on all soft surfaces daily. They also told him to wash all the bedding as soon as I started feeling better.

I run my free hand slowly up his arm, just letting my fingertips trail along his skin. I notice his already dark blue eyes darken further. When I reach his shoulder I move my hand up to his head and pull his mouth to mine. It's been far too long since I've felt his lips moving with mine. He kisses me for a long moment before pulling away breathless.

He gets his mouth up against my ear and says, "Merry Christmas, Tris!" and I freeze. How could I forget it's Christmas morning? My _first_ Christmas morning. "I have a surprise for you, if you want?" His eyes are dancing with excitement.

"A surprise?" I ask, not able to hide the giddy feeling that's now coursing through my veins.

"How would you like to have supper in the cafeteria with our friends?" he asks, a huge smile on his face. "I know it isn't much but the chefs always prepare a feast on Christmas night. I wouldn't want you to miss it." I practically throw myself at him, wrap my arms around his neck, and knock him back on the bed. I lie on top of him and pepper kisses all over his face.

"Thank you, thank you, thank you," I say. He laughs at my childish exuberance.

"How about we go downstairs and you can open your presents. After that I'll cook us breakfast then we can just lounge around all day."

"I know something we can do," I say lowering my lips to his. I kiss him slowly but passionately before he rolls us over so I feel his now familiar weight on top of me. He lifts his mouth off of mine and looks down in my eyes.

"Tris, you haven't been feeling well, and I don't think that would be a good idea." I pout but he shakes his head at me. "I'll make you a deal." This piques my interest.

"What's the deal?" I ask, running my fingers through his hair. I really want him.

"If you make it through the day and through supper down in the cafeteria without totally exhausting yourself, we can ... celebrate ... tonight. How does that sound?"

"That sounds amazingly grown up of you, Tobias Eaton," I say in an official voice. I put my hand out to him. "I will take that deal. Let's shake on it." He shakes my hand then kisses me more passionately than I thought he would. He groans and rolls off of me. He slides out of bed, and I sit up and a wave of vertigo hits me, and I fall back onto the mattress. He rushes around to my side of the bed.

"Are you alright?" he asks, concern in his voice and on his face.

"Yeah, I just got a little dizzy. I think I need some food." He lifts me off of the bed and carries me to the bathroom so I can splash some cool water on my now clammy face. I also take advantage of the time and brush my teeth.

When I tell him I'm done he carries me downstairs and sits me on the couch then covers me up with the throw. He grabs the remote, flips the switch, and the Christmas tree lights turn on adding to the magic of the morning. Instead of opening presents first, he makes me some oatmeal and wheat toast for breakfast to help eliminate the dizziness. I complain a little at first about the bland breakfast but he's right, my stomach has been upset for days so I need to start out as slowly as possible, especially if I'm going to eat tonight's supper, which he told me is unlike normal Dauntless dinners.

When I finish my oatmeal and toast, he helps me to the floor right in front of the Christmas tree. I notice that there are several packages under the tree that weren't there before. Thankfully, earlier this week, I had Christina do me a huge favor and pick out an outfit for Tobias more in character with his Dauntless leadership role. He slips his hand under the edge of the tree and brings out a small black velvet box and hands it to me.

"I had to get this for you when I saw it," he says handing me the small box. I flip the hinged lid up and gasp, my hand covering my mouth. In the middle of the black satin lining is an absolutely gorgeous cut ruby heart in a platinum setting for my charm bracelet. "That represents our first time making love. If you look closely there's a date on it." I turn it over and see a small December 20 engraved into the platinum setting. Tears swim in my eyes.

"Thank you," I mouth as no words will come. He leans over and kisses me sweetly then gets up, and I watch him climb up the stairs. He returns a moment later with my charm bracelet. He attaches the heart in the middle and puts it on my right arm. I look at it laying on my dainty wrist and smile. "Thank you," I say. "It's absolutely beautiful."

"You are very welcome." I reach under the side of the tree and pull out a large flat box marked to Four from Tris. Obviously, _I_ didn't write that.

"Here, Tobias, this is for you." He opens the box and finds a black pair of dress pants and a black long-sleeved thermal henley amongst the candy-cane-covered tissue paper. "It's an outfit for work. Something more formal than you usually wear. If you don't like it we can exchange it. I have a connection," I say with a smile.

"I love them. There's no need to exchange them. I'll wear the outfit tomorrow," he says. "Open this one next," he says. He hands me a box much like what he just opened, except it's much deeper. I open it and find a gorgeous dress. I hold it up in front of me and take it in. It's a black strapless party dress with a leather bodice and sweetheart neckline. The full skirt starts just below the chest in a princess waistband. There's an unusual detail to this dress that catches my eye. There's a thin dark crimson band at the waistband that looks like it's melting down into the skirt causing a somewhat sloppy stripe. It's unlike anything I've ever seen. In the bottom of the box is a pair of black thigh-high leather boots with the same dark-crimson-colored laces. I eye Tobias suspiciously. I can't imagine that he bought this for me.

"Christina," is his only explanation. "Do you like it? To be honest, I think it's kind of hot." Of course he would.

"Actually, I do like it. Maybe that's why she got it, because she knew I never would have bought anything like this for myself." He hands me an odd shaped little package that seems very fragile after I set the dress and boots aside. I take the lid off the box but can't figure out exactly what it is I'm looking at. I carefully take the little white circle that's adhered to a base of some sort with what looks like little red charms hanging all over it out of the box, and I can finally see it clearly. It's a Ferris wheel that looks almost identical to the one we climbed at the Navy Pier. It's a white Ferris wheel with red cars dangling from it. The whole structure even moves around just like the real one did the night Tobias saved my life.

"It's an ornament for our Christmas tree. When I saw it I thought back to that night. How smart it was for you to figure out that climbing the wheel would allow you to see where the other team hid their flag. No one had ever thought of that in the two years I'd been here until you. How brave you were in climbing the wheel and then how much braver and more alive you became when it broke and you almost fell. How you made me want to conquer my fear just so I could steal away with you for those precious few minutes."

Once again my eyes are swimming with tears. I hand him the delicate little ornament and have him hang it on the Christmas tree, and I stare at it for a few minutes. I crawl across the floor and up onto his lap, straddling him. I wrap my arms around his neck and pull him as close to me as our bodies will allow. I sob into his shoulder as pent up emotions flow freely through me. He has one hand in my hair and the other wrapped almost entirely around my waist. After a few minutes I pull back and look into his concerned eyes.

"I'm sorry, Tobias," I whisper, emotion still thick in my voice. He has a grave look on his face. He probably thinks I've gone crazy. I wipe the tears away the best I can but they're still sliding down my face. "That's the most thoughtful gift. It's perfect. I love it, and I love you." I kiss him softly. "I have something else for you," I tell him. I get off of his lap and crawl around to the far side of the tree and take out his hidden package. I come back and hand it to him with a shy smile. I hope he likes it. I hope it's recognizable. He looks from my tear-filled eyes to the plain-looking package in his hands. He moves the twine off of the edges and tears into the kraft paper. Once he has all the packaging moved away he sits staring at the drawing in wonder.

Even upside down I can see it's a perfect rendering. Winding through the pencil sketch is the river from the bottom of the chasm, calmer, mirror-like to the left and rushing white rapids to the right where the water flows dangerously around the rocks that rise out of it. A narrow path snakes its way down the stone walls our home is carved out of to the rocks we sat on during our first kiss.

"How?" is all he can manage.

"I talked to an artist in Amity and explained the chasm to him the best I could remember, and he drew that for you. I wanted to give you a reminder of our first kiss," I say. He is silent, staring at the piece of art in his lap. "Do you like it?" I ask apprehensively.

"Are you kidding me? This is the absolute best, most thoughtful gift anyone has ever given to me in my entire life." He sets the drawing gently aside then pulls me close to him, and we hold tight to one another. "Thank you, Tris. You are amazing. I love you so much."

"I love you, too, Tobias," I say. "There was one more present I was planning but I got sick and had to cancel it too."

"What is it," he says, unable to hide his curiosity.

"It was going to be a surprise. Are you sure you want to know?" He looks at me, his eyes alight with mischief and curiosity.

"I _need_ to know. I hate surprises," he says, an exaggerated despairing look on his face.

"All surprises? Because I have a couple things going through my mind that might or might not involve a pair of high heel shoes and a white tux shirt but if you don't like surprises I'll just forget it." He laughs heartily.

"Maybe I'll come to love surprises ... maybe! Tell me," he says.

"Okay. Christina and Tori were going to give me another tattoo. Right here," I say placing my right hand over my heart. "Another raven, _your_ raven. That way you will always be in my heart, literally and symbolically." His mouth lands on mine, and he kisses me enthusiastically. He pulls away breathless after a while, his eyes glazed over with desire. He puts his head against my forehead, and we let our breathing return to normal.

"I'm sorry. I got a bit carried away there."

"I'm not complaining," I say. I get off of his lap and we stand. He helps me onto the couch and we lounge, watching the dancing lights on the Christmas tree and talking casually until its lunchtime. He fixes us leftover chicken noodle soup he made last night but I don't mind. It's really good. I would like it if he fixed this even when I was 100% healthy. After lunch he finds the perfect spot in the apartment and puts up the print I got him. He hangs it on the right side of the door above the console table that holds our keys, mail, and phone chargers. It's the perfect addition to our home.

We spend the afternoon back on the couch in each other's arms listening to a light rock station that plays mostly love songs. I try to stop myself but soon I doze off. When I wake up, I'm lying back against his chest, our arms and legs a tangled mess. He's absent-mindedly playing with a piece of my hair. He somehow managed to cover us up with the fuzzy throw. I must have moved or made some sort of a noise because he now realizes I'm awake.

"Do you want to go to supper in the cafeteria?" he asks, still playing with my hair.

"Yes, I would. Do we have time?" I have no idea how long I've been asleep. I don't want to admit it but the flu has taken more out of me than I thought because I'd really like nothing more right now than to just go back to sleep but I'll never tell him that.

"Of course. I'll take you upstairs, and you can take a shower then get ready while I shower. I'll push you down in the wheelchair."

"Should I wear my new dress?" I ask him, a yawn escaping. "Would you like that?"

"You could wear the oldest rattiest thing you have, and I would still love it on you," he says, gently pushing me away from him so he can move. He carries me up to the bathroom, and I shower quickly. I wrap my hair and body in towels then call out for Tobias, and he helps me into the bedroom. Laying on the bed is my new dress, boots, and my strapless lingerie set. I can't imagine how he knew that's what I would need to wear, maybe Christina. I would have loved to hear _that_ conversation. "Will you be okay if I take a shower now?" I nod to him. When I hear the bathroom door shut, I let the towel wrapped around my body fall to the floor. I put on my bra and underwear set then slide into the dress. It zips up the side so I can actually get in and out of this one by myself. I sit on the edge of the bed and lace up the boots. I've never had a pair of boots on like this before, and I think this is the most nerve‑racking part of this outfit. When I have everything on, I retrieve my crutches from the side of the bed and hobble to the mirror. The dress fits perfectly and actually looks really good. Yes, it shows more skin than I'm used to showing but it isn't inappropriate by my standards, and I don't feel uncomfortable. The dress ends less than an inch before the boots begin. I _love_ the boots. They're sexy, flirty, young, and fun. They make me feel different, more confident. They could easily become my new favorite pair of shoes.

I towel off my hair while I'm carefully standing on one leg in front of the mirror. I see Tobias come into the bedroom, a towel wrapped low around his hips, and desire hits me in the pit of my stomach. He doesn't realize I'm studying him in the mirror. He drops his towel, and I take in the site of his perfect bare body across the room. I would love nothing more right now than to run to him, push him down on the bed, and let my hands and mouth leisurely love him. The desire is now pulsing through my veins like a drug, and I look toward the floor to try and clear my head. When I glance back up I meet his eyes in the mirror. He's looking me up and down with a predatory stare. If we aren't careful we won't be leaving this bedroom tonight, which I really wouldn't mind.

I go to the bathroom to give us some space and do my hair. I look in the mirror for a long moment taking in the changes then take out the makeup that Christina has made me buy over the past few months. This isn't my usual everyday makeup. I get a tube of lip stain out and realize it's the exact same shade of dark crimson that's in the dress and apply it to my lips. My nails are bare so I take a minute to paint them the same red color. It has a special agent in it that makes them dry almost instantly but I wave them in the air for a minute making sure that they don't smear. Christina will be so proud that I've done my own nails for once. I put on the black eyeliner that she bought me during initiation and line my eyes expertly. This gets easier on a daily basis. Then I apply black mascara to my curled eyelashes. I look at the various shades of blush trying to figure out which one works the best when I realize Tobias is leaning up against the doorjamb watching me.

"You are sexy as hell," he says, eyeing me once again. A blush comes over me and gives my cheeks the exact color I was just searching for.

Without meeting his eyes I say, "If you are actually wanting to leave this apartment tonight, you need to stop looking at me like that." Just then a loud knock sounds throughout the apartment.

"Saved by the knock," he says snickering to himself. But instead of heading downstairs, he comes up behind me, wraps his arms around me, placing his hands on my breasts, and kisses my neck before letting me go and jogging down the stairs. My heart is now hammering in my chest. He is _such_ a tease.

I try to ignore the voices coming from downstairs and drag the hairdryer out of the linen closet. I put some spray gel in my damp locks and comb it through. I dry my hair for a little bit to get the majority of the wetness out then put the special tool on that Christina gave me to style my hair. I run it through a few times, styling as I go then spray my hair with hairspray. I grab my crutches and carefully walk down the stairs. When I get to the bottom Will and Christina are sitting on the loveseat talking with Tobias who's lounging on the couch. When I get to the bottom of the stairs and step out of the shadow of the Christmas tree all eyes are on me. Tobias has an exceptionally naughty look on his face, and Christina and Will's mouths are hanging open. I blush crimson again, putting the right color in my cheeks. The Four mask smooth's over Tobias' face as Christina looks his way.

"To tell you the truth, I didn't think I would ever see you in this outfit, Tris. You look hot!" she says.

"Thanks. Actually, I _love_ it!" I say unable to hide my sincerity. "Merry Christmas!"

"Merry Christmas!" Will and Christina say in unison then Christina continues. "We thought we would stop by and say hi but since you two are going to supper, Four invited us to walk down with you." He looks at me and wags his eyebrows. He's going to be in so much trouble when we get home.


	42. Chapter 42

After taking my wheelchair to the Pire, Tobias comes back to our apartment and gathers me up in his arms and carries me down the stairs, placing kisses here and there while Christina and Will walk in front of us. He has the devil's glint in his eyes, and he's enjoying teasing me. He sits me down in the wheelchair, and I let my hand casually slide over his backside, giving a playful little squeeze before putting my hands in my lap. Two can play at this game. I look up over my shoulder at him and give him a minx's smile. He has a shocked look on his face, and I wink at him. He grins and slowly shakes his head at me.

We walk unhurriedly down to the cafeteria talking about this and that. Will got Christina an entire nursery full of furniture for the baby for Christmas. He had the furniture store in yesterday to set the room up. He also had them paint the walls a pale tone-on-tone green color scheme, which will work great for either a boy or a girl. He also got her a really nice necklace with a key on it. She told me it was the key to his heart, and I gush with her for an appropriate amount of time. She got him a few outfits fitting his new title as leader and a new recliner for their living room. It'll be delivered first thing in the morning. I show her my new heart charm and tell her about the Ferris wheel ornament for our Christmas tree. I also tell her that the drawing of the chasm I commissioned from Amity turned out better than I ever thought it would. I thank her repeatedly for not only choosing this outfit for me but for doing such a good job on Tobias' outfit also.

We are nearly to the bottom of the Pit, laughing about Christina's disastrous attempts at cooking since they've moved into their apartment, when we run into Marlene, Shauna, Uriah, and Zeke, who is pushing Hana in a wheelchair that matches mine on their way to the cafeteria for Christmas dinner. We stop and let them onto the path and exchange Merry Christmas' with our friends. Just as Tobias starts pushing me toward the cafeteria, out of the corner of my eye, I think I see a figure dressed head to toe in black come around the corner in the hallway that they just stepped out of then stop in its tracks. I look up over my shoulder at Tobias but he's looking straight ahead talking to Zeke.

"Four?" I say. He looks down at me with a troubled look on his face because of the tone of my voice. I motion to him that I need to talk. He slows and kneels down in front of me to listen. "I think I saw something in the hallway they just came out of. It looked like someone came around the corner then stopped when they saw us standing there. I'm sure it's nothing but since Hana was with them..." I let my voice trail off, dread building.

"I'll check it out," he says kissing me lightly on the mouth. "Christina, will you take Tris to the cafeteria?" he asks. I go to disagree but he gives me a very stern Four look, and I know not to argue with him right now. She sees the looks being exchanged between us and concern lights her face. Tobias motions to Will and then whispers something in his ear. He nods. I pull Tobias down to me again.

"Tobias," I whisper, fear thick in my voice. " _Please_ be careful."

"I will," he says, kissing me once again, lingering just a bit. "Come on, Will." They disappear around the corner, and Christina steps around me and starts pushing me toward the cafeteria.

"What's going on, Tris?" she quietly says, dread thick in her voice.

"I'm sure it's nothing but I just saw someone who appeared to be following Marlene, Shauna, Uriah, Zeke, and Hana in that hallway. They stopped dead in their tracks when they saw us all standing there and went the other way. Better to be safe than sorry, right?" I say to her only half meaning it. If anything happens to either of them, I will never forgive myself.

Soon we're pulling up to our table and everyone greets us. Christina parks me next to Hana then sits down in her regular seat. I do a quick scan of the cafeteria out of habit. Peter catches my eye at the next table. I stare at him for a moment until he drags his eyes away from mine. I refuse to hang my head and hide from him.

"Where did Four and Will go?" Zeke asks, looking around like he's missing something. Christina and I exchange a look.

"They had a last minute errand to run. They'll be along shortly," I say, plastering a fake smile on my face hoping no one notices. Christina looks away. I told her not to worry when Will took this job but how would she survive with a baby on the way if something were to happen to him. After a few minutes Will slides into the bench by Christina and Tobias next to me. I breathe a deep sigh of relief when I feel him next to me. He looks at me and shakes his head meaning they didn't find anything. Maybe I let my imagination run away with me. I try to calm myself down and enjoy a rare night out of the house.

Soon the evening turns into a huge celebration with roasted whole turkeys lining all the tables in the cafeteria along with big bowls of seasoned oven roasted red potatoes, sausage and water chestnut stuffing, green bean casserole, sweet potato casserole, seasoned mixed roasted vegetables, and Waldorf apple salad. We are served nonalcoholic sparkling apple cider by the bottle and of course Dauntless cake but only in our traditional chocolate on chocolate. Everyone is laughing and eating the absolutely delicious food.

Conversation fills the crowded hall so that it's hard to hear even yourself think. Everyone is telling what they got for Christmas. Most of the girls got jewelry and most of the guys got weapons. Uriah and Marlene announced they are moving in together but the biggest news of the night is Samuel and Ella's engagement. She shows off the huge 2 carat princess cut diamond in a plain white gold setting. It isn't flashy but it's elegant just like Ella. Soon the conversation is centered on wedding plans, and Ella makes Christina her wedding planner eliciting a huge hug from her. They have their heads together talking about flowers, colors, and dresses among other things.

"Uriah, Marlene," I say and they both look at me. "Where are you moving to?"

"Marlene is moving in with me unless a friend who just happens to be a leader of Dauntless, I mean there are three of you at this table, wants to hook us up with a bigger place," he says putting another bite of cake in his mouth. Marlene rolls her eyes at her boyfriend.

"You don't have any friends," Zeke says with a laugh. "I don't know how Marlene stands you."

"Shut up, pansycake," he says around a mouthful of cake.

"Now boys," Hana says, and we all can't help but laugh.

"I think we can get you two a larger apartment," Tobias says to Uriah and Marlene.

"Now that's what I'm talking about! Thanks, Four," Uriah says. "It pays to have friends in high places."

"Four is only giving you a larger place because you're my little brother, isn't that right, Four?" Zeke says still antagonizing his brother.

"Whatever you say, Zeke," Tobias says with a smile on his face.

"Candor or Dauntless at our place when we get settled in," Uriah announces. A cheer erupts from the table, and I can't help but laugh at every one's exuberance.

Even though I'm trying to ignore him, I see Peter get a message on his phone, which strikes me as odd since he doesn't have any friends. Who would be contacting him? He gets up from his half-eaten Christmas dinner and leaves the cafeteria. A chill runs down my spine and Tobias takes note.

"What is it?" he asks, concern coloring his face.

"I don't know, Four. Something seems ... _off_... tonight. Like something's up. First that guy in the hallway and now Peter just left halfway through his meal after getting a message on his phone. I don't like it," I say quietly. "Maybe I'm just being paranoid but I have a really bad feeling."

"Will and I looked up and down the hallways there and nothing was out of the ordinary. The only people we saw was a couple who, as I speak, is sitting right over there," he says pointing to a table across the cafeteria at a typical Dauntless couple sitting off by themselves looking cozy, celebrating the holiday. "I'll go see if I can figure out where Peter went if you want me to."

"No," I say quickly, grabbing his hand. "I don't want you to leave me."

"Are you sure you're feeling okay? You look pale," he says putting his other hand on my face. He seems cool to me. He leans in and kisses my forehead and sits back frowning a bit. "You're hot." I try to smile seductively at him, but I know that isn't what he's saying. He just rolls his eyes at me. "You have a fever, Tris. I need to get you home. Maybe this wasn't the best idea." He gets up from the table and kisses Hana on the cheek and gives her a big hug. "I'm going to take Tris home. I think I brought her out too soon. She's a bit warm." I blush as all eyes turn my way.

"I hope no one gets sick," I say bashfully, one blush fading into another. I say goodnight to our friends, and Tobias once again wheels me toward the familiar path that leads out of the Pit.

We don't talk as he pushes me toward home. I notice that my paranoia and nervousness seems to have rubbed off on him. We're about halfway up the stone path when a light bulb approximately 20 feet in front of us burns out. I look up over my shoulder at Tobias and see that he's staring straight ahead with his fierce Four mask held firmly in place. My heart is hammering in my chest as fear spreads through me. I look behind us and notice another light bulb flicker out leaving us in total darkness. Oh God, this isn't good. How are seemingly random light bulbs just burning out?

Tobias takes a sharp right turn, and I realize where we are, the hallway that leads to his old apartment. This hallway is just as dark as the path is now. He wheels me about 15 feet down the hall then pulls his phone out of his pocket and sends a prearranged 911 text to Zeke, Will, and Tori. He kneels down and soon I feel his mouth on my ear.

"Stay here and be quiet, _not_ a sound. Okay," he whispers right before his mouth lands on mine, kissing me fiercely. He leaves me in the dark, and I find myself holding my breath, trying not to make a sound. Adrenaline is coursing through my veins at an alarming rate, threatening to make my poor heart beat its way right out of my chest. I curl my right hand into a fist, every muscle in my entire body taut and ready for a fight. After a moment, I hear a brawl start on the path. I hear punches landing, grunts, and whimpers. I hear what sounds like something very hard hitting the stone wall and something or someone sliding down the wall to the stone pathway. I hear more punches and a very loud scream that fades away into nothingness.

Just then a hand goes over my mouth, and I try to scream but the hand clamps down hard on my face making it nearly impossible to breath. I'm dragged forward out of the chair, picked up, and carried further down the hallway. I hear a key slide into a lock and a door open. I move a few more feet and hear the door close. Hot breathe is by my ear and terror I've never felt before fills me. I kick out at my attacker.

"Ouch, damn it, it's me," Tobias mutters. "Calm down." I melt into his arms. "You _have_ to be quiet." He takes his hand off my mouth and his mouth replaces it. He kisses me unlike he has ever kissed me before, all fear and adrenaline laced.

"Are you okay," I whisper, my arms holding me to him for dear life.

"I knocked one of them unconscious and the other went over the edge. I don't know if there are others but I needed to get you out of that hallway. This is our old place. No one lives here. I'm going to put you down and see if I can find anything else. The others will be here soon. He stands me on my feet, and I lower myself to the floor. I hear him walk across the room and open and close the door. I have my arms wrapped tightly around my knees, rocking back and forth, repeating to myself over and over that everything will be okay and he will walk back through that door at any moment unharmed. All I can hear is my blood rushing in my ears, waiting for him to come back through the door. Finally, it opens.

"Tris, it's okay. Zeke, Will, and Tori are here." I let out the breath I didn't know I was holding and get up. He crosses the room to me and has me up in his arms holding me. After a moment he puts me on my feet then turns and brings the wheelchair into the apartment. I sit down, and he wheels me out into the hallway. Zeke and Will are standing with flashlights by an unconscious person crumpled by the stone wall and Tori is pointing a flashlight over the edge of the path.

"Is he dead?" I ask.

"No, he's alive. We should probably get him to the infirmary. The other one's dead. He went over the edge. It was either him or me," Tobias says matter-of-factly. My mouth drops but I quickly get ahold of myself and close it. I swallow a big lump down my throat. He could have been killed tonight.

"Do you have any idea who they are?" I ask.

"It was too dark to see either one at all. We'll have to see if we can identify them looking the way they do now," Tobias says. "Will and Zeke, could you get this piece of crap to the infirmary. Tell the doctors to handcuff him to the bed when they have him stabilized."

"I'll get some help and have the other one taken to the infirmary so the autopsy can be performed," Tori says.

"Four's not in trouble because of this is he?" I ask, a new fear bubbling up.

"No, they attacked him," Will says.

"How did you know something was going on anyway?" Zeke says.

"Tris thought she saw someone following you guys when you came down for Christmas dinner. Then Peter got some sort of message and left without finishing his supper. Tris thought this was odd. On our way home, lights started flickering off like someone was flipping a switch, first in front of us and then behind us, leaving us in total darkness. When the first light went off, I knew we were in trouble. It just so happened we were almost to the hallway that lead to my old apartment. I don't want to think what would have happened if they would have attacked while she was still in the wheelchair on the path. They could have just rolled her over the side." He looks deadly right now. That's the only way to describe the look on his face. He takes my hand in his and squeezes it. "I need to get Tris home. She wasn't feeling very good before all this started. I'll meet up with you both at 9 a.m. sharp. I'm sorry to leave you with this."

He pushes the wheelchair slowly up to the door that leads to the flight of stairs. He looks around making sure no one is following us. He opens the door and sticks his head inside making sure it's safe then wheels me into the little hallway. He picks me up, and I rest my head on his shoulder. He carries me up the stairs and down the hallway to our apartment. He manages to unlock the door and get us into the apartment without jostling me a lot. He then carries me up the stairs and into the bedroom. He starts to let me down, but I wrap my arms around his neck and kiss him almost ferociously. He breaks our kiss and shakes his head at me.

"Tobias," I beg. "Don't tell me no, not now. I don't care that I don't feel perfectly well. I need you. I need to feel you inside me ... _now_." He groans and his mouth lands on mine harder than it has ever before in my life. This kiss is need filled to the point of pain. He puts me down in front of the bed and whips his shirt off over his head as I unzip my dress and let it slide down my body and pool at my feet. He unzips his pants and hurriedly takes them off. I sit on the edge of the bed and start taking my boots off as he kneels before me taking my other one off. We both manage to get the boots off at the same time, and as I reach behind me and take my bra off, he lowers his boxer briefs, exposing his massive manhood. He pushes me back on the bed and has his hands on my lace panties. He peels them off of me in one swift motion. I scoot back on the bed, and he covers me with his body.

His mouth lands on mine, kissing me hard with need, desire, and lust. He moves his hand down my side sending electric shocks everywhere he touches. He covers my breast and rolls my nipple between his fingertips for a moment before trailing down further. He gently grabs my left leg and pushes it up then slides his middle finger inside me, testing my readiness. I gasp when he gently starts to circle my nubbin with the calloused pad of his thumb as his finger steadily moves in and out. He gently inserts a second finger, his thumb still relentlessly stroking the throbbing bundle of nerves and moves his mouth down to my breast and draws my nipple between his lips. He sucks, licks, tugs, and nibbles until I'm writhing. I arch my back off the bed as the pressure begins to build. He moves to my other breast, teasing and picks up the pace with his fingers.

"Please! _Oh, God!_ " I beg. "I need you. _Please, Tobias!_ " He removes his fingers from me and moves his mouth back up to mine. I spread my legs further, waiting for him to enter me. He kisses me almost roughly as I feel him push inside me. I gasp into his mouth and he stops, giving me time to adjust. He breaks our kiss and looks down into my eyes. He applies a steady pressure and slides half way in, then pulls back and pushes the rest of the way in. His mouth lands on mine catching the gasp that escapes as I feel his fullness once again inside of me. He doesn't move for at least a minute letting me get used to his size, not wanting to hurt me, always loving me.

"Make love to me, Tobias," I breathlessly say in his ear when I'm ready. He pulls out and pushes back in, a little rougher, but not painful. He sets the pace, and I eagerly lift my hips to his with each thrust. The pressure builds rapidly as he quickens the pace. He moves his arms down and hooks them around my legs, opening me wider for him and further quickens the pace. He groans as his mouth finds mine once again, and he matches the rhythm of his tongue to the rhythm of his thrusts as he makes love to my mouth. I'm about to reach my peak when he slows a little, wanting to prolong the experience. I match his speed and hang on to him with all my might as my orgasm builds and builds. He finally picks up the pace again and soon I find myself at the peak once again. Our hips hit each other's in perfect unison. I open my eyes and find him looking directly in mine, his eyes dilated wider with lust than I've ever seen in my life. I look at him then look down and watch as he pushes into me over and over, and I can't hold back.

"Oh ... oh Tobias ... oh God ... _oh_... _God_... _Tooobbbiiiaaasss!"_ I scream as I plummet over the edge. My back arches, my toes curl, and my eyes roll back in my head. Wave after wave of pure pleasure courses through me as he thrusts one final time, stills, then empties himself deep inside me. He collapses on me, and I welcome his weight. We lie there, spent while our heart rates return to normal.

"God, I love you," I say to him as I trace the tattoo on his back I know so well. He raises himself up slightly and looks into my eyes.

"I love you, too," he says as he lowers his mouth to mine. He kisses me slowly, thoroughly. He pulls back, breathless once again and smiles at me. It's only now I realize those animals landed some punches.

"Tobias, you're hurt," I say to him, trying to push myself into a sitting position. He rolls off of me with a groan and sits up. I look at him and see bruises starting on his jawline and all over his chest. His hands have blood on them. His knuckles are split open. "Oh, God. We shouldn't have ... I'm _so_ sorry. I wasn't thinking," I say, hopping up. He looks at me.

"What are you doing?" he asks.

"I don't know, but I think you need to go to the infirmary. Did they hit you in the head?" He looks at me for a while, his eyes glazed over with lust. "Tobias, focus. Did they hit you in the head?"

"Yeah, they did. Right here," he says, slurring a bit, putting his hand up to his head. I take a gentle step, happy there's no pain. I feel the back of his head. There's a large goose egg on the upper left side.

"Look at me," I say looking deep into his eyes. They're absolutely huge. I can barely see any of his dark blue color only black iris. "Your eyes look funny, Tobias." I get my dress off the floor and put it back on. Then I slide my underwear back on. "Put your pants back on Tobias." He does as I say, but his eyes are still dilated wide and glazed over. Maybe it wasn't passion a moment ago. Panic moves through me. I fish Tobias' phone out of his pants pocket with no help or deterrent from him and call Will. When he answers the phone I scream, "Will, something's wrong with Four. He needs to go to the infirmary, _now_. We'll be waiting for you at our place. Please hurry."


	43. Chapter 43

I don't know how but I manage to get Tobias into a shirt and down the stairs and onto the couch. In record time, Zeke and Will are pounding on our door. I tell them it's open, and they come bursting into the living room.

"I didn't know he was hurt," I practically scream at them. "There's something wrong with him. They hit his head. His eyes have been like that for at least 10 minutes. Take him to the infirmary, _please_."

"Tris, you're going to have to stay here. You know you aren't supposed to be walking on that ankle. Take care of yourself, please" Zeke says softly.

I get in his face and say, "I'm coming with you. You can't stop me. Take him. I'll follow you."

"Tris. No," he says firmly. "Think of what he'll do if he finds out I let you just follow us downstairs to the infirmary after an attack that could have been meant for you, too."

"You don't understand, Zeke," I say, fire running through my veins. "If something happens ... I _need_ to be there."

"Fine. Get your crutches. I'm texting Shauna and Christina to meet us and walk the rest of the way with you." I go up the stairs and retrieve my crutches and come back down faster than I probably should. I'm half surprised they're still waiting for me. Zeke and Will get Tobias off the couch with some trouble. He's not responding. We leave the apartment and head back down to the Pit. I'm flying behind them on my crutches, barefooted, feeling every little pebble and crack in the stone pathway. Soon Shauna and Christina are with me, and Zeke and Will leave us behind, getting the now unconscious Tobias to the infirmary.

"What happened?" Shauna and Christina ask at the exact same time.

"I really don't know. I finally really _looked_ at him and realized he was hurt. His eyes were all glazed over. I thought it was because of ..." I don't finish the thought.

"Because of what?" Christina prompts.

"Nothing," I say, a blush coloring my cheeks. Damn blush. She's not going to let this go, not even during this crisis. Why can't I control the blushing?

"Tris? Why are you blushing?" Christina asks.

"We had sex, _okay_. Then I looked at him and realized something wasn't right." Shauna and Christina don't say anything at my admission. They both know not to mess with me right now.

"He's going to be okay," Shauna says, practically running to keep up with me, and her legs are nearly twice as long as mine.

"He better be," I say under my breath. When I come around the corner into the infirmary, no one is at the intake desk, and Zeke and Will are nowhere to be found. I stand in front of the desk waiting impatiently for someone to appear. Finally Zeke and Will come through the double doors.

"Tris, sit down," Will says, tenderness in his voice. "The doctor will let you know when you can see him. Please think of your ankle. If you hurt it worse, Four will kill all of us."

"Okay," I say. "Thanks, Will, Zeke. I mean it. _Thank_ _you_." I sit in the uncomfortable waiting room chair for more than 20 minutes when the double doors open, and Dr. Parrish comes into the waiting room. I swear he must be the only doctor who works down here.

"Tris, can I see you please. I need to ask you some questions," he says. I jump up and follow him.

"I need to know exactly what happened tonight," he says after he brings me into an examination room and lets me sit on the bed.

"Four was pushing me home from Christmas dinner. I had the flu earlier this week and was feeling a bit under the weather so we left a little early. About half way up the path the lights started going out, and he wheeled me down a pitch black hallway and told me to be quiet. All I can say is what I heard. Lots of punches landing. It sounded like something hard hit the wall. Actually, come to think of it, I heard that twice. The second time, it sounded like someone fell. Then I heard a scream that faded when the other guy went over the edge of the path. Four took me into his old apartment and then left. I don't know what happened then. I don't know how long we had been apart when he came and got me. Then he gave Will and Zeke orders to get the unconscious guy to the infirmary and Tori orders to have someone help her get the dead guy here for an autopsy. Then he took me home. We made love, and that's when I noticed the bruise starting on his jawline and some of his other injuries. Then his eyes looked funny. I thought it was just sex related but now I'm not so sure. Is he going to be okay," I say, barely above a whisper.

"Thank you for being so candid. He's having a brain MRI right now. When the tests are done and have been analyzed, I will come and get you."

"Oh, he did tell me that he hit his head. He has a rather large bump on the back of his head," I add.

"I found that during my initial examination but thank you for letting me know he was aware of it."

"Take care of him, Dr. Parrish. I can't lose him," I say, tears finally spilling. I quickly wipe them away trying to stay brave like Tobias would want me to.

"I'll do everything I can, Tris," he says placing his hand on my shoulder, showing a rare moment of comfort. I get off the bed and make my way back to the waiting room. I sit on one of the 3-seater couches with my legs up mainly so no one can sit right next to me and try to comfort me. If anything is seriously wrong with him, it's my fault. He didn't want to have sex tonight, and he let me talk him into it. No one says anything to me, letting me sulk.

"He's having a brain MRI right now. When Dr. Parrish knows something, he'll come and tell me," I finally say to our friends who are just as worried about him as I am right now. Christina ignores my bad mood and sits down next to me putting my feet in her lap. She doesn't say anything, we just sit in silence listening to the irritating, incessant buzz of the fluorescent lights above us.

Almost two hours later a nurse comes out of the double doors and takes me to Tobias. He is sitting up in bed, awake and looking rather grumpy. The bruises are more pronounced now. He has a blackening bruise on his left jawline that looks rather nasty. Bruises are covering his torso. I walk over to him and take his hand in mine.

"Would you _please_ tell me why I'm here? No one is telling me anything," he says sounding more like Four than Tobias.

"What do you remember?" I ask.

"Walking you home, lights going out, and a fight. I have to admit it's all kind of fuzzy," he says, rubbing his head and then wincing.

"You don't remember giving the others orders on what to do with the two men and taking me home. We had sex tonight," I whisper, guilt threatening to crush me. The look on his face tells me he doesn't. "Your eyes looked funny, then you started slurring your words. I called Will to come help us, and he and Zeke came and practically carried you here. You lost consciousness before we made it all the way. God, if anything happens to you." I blink back the new tears forming in my eyes. I have to stay strong for him. He's the injured one now.

"I'm sorry, Tris. I don't remember any of that. My head is killing me," he says lying back on the pillow. I look into his eyes and they're still huge. Just then the doctor comes into the room.

"Four, how are you feeling?" he says. I step out of the way and lower myself into the hard metal folding chair that Tobias sat on the night of my accident.

"My head is killing me, doc," he says, thankfully no longer slurring his words.

"I believe your assailant slammed your head into the stone wall. You have a parietal linear skull fracture, a concussion, and a mild brain contusion. Please don't be alarmed, it's a minor head injury. There is no bleeding and no swelling, which is good news," he says, referring to the chart he's carrying with him. "You also have one broken rib, which hopefully won't give you too much trouble. I didn't feel we needed to wrap you for that. I thought you had a fractured jaw, but it's only bruised. It will definitely get worse before it gets better. You also have a lot of abrasions and contusions all over your body. I have to say to both of you, if he had went to bed without having this treated tonight, he more than likely would have died in his sleep. I don't think I've ever said this, but I think having sex saved your life, Four." My eyes widen at Dr. Parrish's assessment, and I blush but then immediately start to feel like the weight of the world has lifted off my shoulders.

"Is he going to be okay?" I ask, needing to hear the words

"We are going to keep him here overnight for observation. My pesky nurses are going to be waking you up every hour, Four. I think you should be able to go home tomorrow, and I don't foresee any complications from this. I can't say that for the other two."

"How are they?" he asks. Dr. Parrish and I exchange a look.

"He doesn't remember much about this evening. Is that normal? Also is it possible the memories could come back?" Maybe I'm selfish, but making love tonight was wonderful. That sweet memory belongs to him just as much as it belongs to me.

"It's perfectly normal with any kind of head injury. The memories may come back but it's just as probable they won't. There is no way to anticipate either outcome. Do you need some pain medication, Four?"

"If you could give me something for this headache, I would appreciate it," Tobias says. His head must really hurt if he's asking for something to take care of it.

"I will have the nurse come in and administer some pain medications. I will check on you in the morning. Tris, would you like to stay here tonight?" He must know I would pitch a fit if anyone tries to make me leave.

"Yes, I would."

"I'll get Four into a double room, and you can have the other bed. It would probably be best for you to stay off the ankle. Zeke and Will told me you were walking on it."

"It didn't hurt either. I was amazed. But I won't walk on it anymore until my appointment next Thursday. I just had to help Four," I say. He gives me a stern but sympathetic look.

Dr. Parrish leaves the room and not two minutes later a nurse comes in and gives Tobias 2 pills and a cup of water. He takes the medicine and leans back on the bed. Then a couple minutes after that they take Tobias, bed and all, into another room and I follow. I pull the chair up by his bed and stare at him. He's going to be okay. I didn't cause any damage to him. I actually saved his life. A tear slides down my face.

"Don't cry. I'm fine," he says. He cups my face with his hand, and I lean into him.

"I should go tell the others they can go home for the night. I'm sure they'll want to see you in the morning though. I'll be right back," I say as I lean up and kiss his forehead. "I love you so much. Don't _ever_ scare me like that again, Tobias Eaton." I make my way into the waiting room, fatigue dragging me down, to talk to Zeke, Shauna, Will, and Christina.

"He's going to be okay," I say. "He has a broken rib, bruised jaw, various contusions and abrasions, a concussion, a brain contusion, and a skull fracture. The doctor says it sounds worse than it is. He also said that if he had went to bed without having his injuries examined tonight, he probably wouldn't have made it. You guys can go on home. He's resting. If you want to see him in the morning, you are more than welcome to come back then. Dr. Parrish is letting me stay with him instead of walking all the way back to the apartment." I turn to go back to Tobias then stop in my tracks. I turn back to my friends who are heading out the door. "Thank you. _All_ of you. I don't know what I would have done if I didn't have such good friends." Christina rushes to me and puts her arms around me, crutches and all, giving me a big hug. Then she kisses my forehead.

"Let us know if you need anything or if there's any change and don't forget to take care of yourself. You haven't been feeling well either."

"Thanks, Christina. We'll talk later," I say.

Before she lets me go she whispers in my ear, "Yes, we will. We have _a lot_ to talk about." I just smile shyly at her. I hope she doesn't expect details because I'm not going to give her any. Our lovemaking is exactly that, _ours_.

I go back to Tobias after leaving our friends. His eyes are closed, and I quietly sit in the chair staring at the bruise on the side of his face. How did I miss that? I have to say, in the moment I was thinking only about what I wanted, what I needed and didn't look to make sure that he was okay. Maybe sex can be selfish after all.

"No one answered me about the two guys that attacked me," he says, not opening his eyes.

"I actually don't know much. One was brought here to be treated for his injuries," I say, stalling. How do I tell him he killed someone tonight when he won't remember? "The other one is dead." His eyes fly open and find mine.

"What?" he says.

"You said it was either you or him. He fell over the side of the path to his death. It's not your fault," I say, taking his hand in mine. I lace my fingers with his and bring our hands up and kiss the back of his hand.

"They didn't hurt you did they? I just can't remember," he groans, "and trying to remember makes my head hurt."

"No they didn't. Don't think, just rest. What's important is you are going to be okay, that I didn't almost kill you tonight. It was horrible. I looked at you, _really_ looked at you and saw that bruise and realized you were hurt. You didn't want to and I talked you into it, and if anything had happened to you because I was being selfish, I would have never forgiven myself."

"Tris, you're babbling and my head is hurting enough that I really don't want to have to figure out what it is you're saying." He scoots over on the bed and pats the lumpy mattress beside him. "Lie here with me. I don't think I can sleep without you beside me." I climb into the narrow hospital bed after leaning my crutches up against the wall out of the way of the machines that are attached to Tobias. I rest my head on his shoulder and my hand on his chest like I've done so many times. He wraps his arm around me and plays with my hair. "Okay. What were you trying to say?"

"You didn't want to have sex tonight. I talked you into it. If anything had happened," I say, burying my head in his chest.

"Believe me, Tris, there's never a time I don't want to have sex with you. That's an absolute impossibility. I do vaguely remember making a deal with you this morning that if you were feeling okay we would make love but you weren't feeling well. I'm sure that's the only reason I would have not wanted to, to protect you. Someone has to, you don't always do a very good job of doing what is best for you. Did I hear someone say you _walked_ on your ankle because of _me_?"

"I would walk through fire for you," I say, a yawn escaping.

"Go to sleep, my Six," he says, kissing my forehead. "I love you more than life itself. I'll be here when you wake up." Now that I know he's going to be alright, I drift off to sleep in his arms.


	44. Chapter 44

When my eyes open to the harsh florescent lights of the infirmary room, it confuses me momentarily. Then the events of the past 24 hours come flooding back, threatening to drown me. I look carefully at Tobias, and his eyes are closed but his rising chest doesn't indicate the steady rhythm of sleep. I know he's awake. I study his face for a moment and see that the bruise on his jaw is now black as coal. His gorgeous chest has large black bruises scattered here and there. The knuckles on the hand lying across his abdomen are red and raw. I pick my hand up and lightly run my fingertips over his injured hand. When I look back at his face, his tired blue eyes are on mine. There are dark shadows beneath each eye, indicating a lack of sleep. Although I don't remember, the nurse must have come in and woken him hourly like the doctor said she would.

"How are you feeling?" I ask, lightly trailing my fingers along the muscles in his chest before lying my hand over his beating heart.

"My head still hurts. Good news though, bits and pieces of last night are slowly coming back to me. I remember us," he says as his mouth covers mine. He kisses me lovingly. "I'm glad that memory came back. I wouldn't want to be without it. I remember most of the fight. One of those bastards pushed me back into the wall, and I hit my head."

"Has Dr. Parrish been in?" I ask.

"I doubt anyone will be in for a little while, the nurse just woke me up like five minutes ago," he says with a laugh. "She's scared of you."

"Why?" I say, surprise filling me. I'm really not that scary, no matter how hard I try, at least I don't think I am.

"She tried to get you to move to the other bed at the beginning of her shift, and you told her if she didn't leave us alone you were going to make her factionless. By the look on your face, anyone would have believed you were totally serious and definitely capable of carrying through on your threat." He chuckles at the memory and winces.

"Is this where your rib is broken?" I say, lightly running my hand over the worst of the bruises on his torso.

"Yes," he says, picking up my hand and bringing it to his mouth. I groan.

"I better get up," I say, moving to get out of his hospital bed but he grabs me back down and his mouth lands on mine, hard. He kisses me passionately, opening my mouth with his tongue. We let our tongues dance while his hands find my hips and rolls me over on top of him. I break away from him. "Four! We can't do that here, and if you kiss me like that again, I'm not going to be able to stop. I'm getting up." This time he groans but he lets me roll off of him. I swing my feet over the side of the bed and slip down onto the ground on my good foot. I pull the poorly padded waiting room chair over and sit down next to him. At least it isn't a metal folding chair like in the other room. I put my chin on the back of my folded hands on the bed right by his head, looking at him. I notice that his pupils have, thankfully, returned to their normal size.

"Has anyone given you an update on the man brought in here last night?" I ask just as Dr. Parrish comes in the room.

"No, we haven't but I'll do that after I examine Four here. How are you feeling this morning?" he asks Tobias, looking at his chart.

"I'm tired and I have a headache," he says grumpily. "Also it hurts to laugh, cough, or pretty much breathe." He's in more pain than he let on. I wonder how he could have taken my weight so effortlessly just a moment ago.

"You are due for another dose of pain medication, and since you did so well through the night, we can increase the dosage to better take care of your pain." He shines a little light in Tobias' eyes, looking for what I have no idea. He seems pleased with the results though. He smiles at Tobias and then writes something in the chart.

"I'm going to discharge you to home. I don't want you doing any work today. If your headache has not fully resolved by Wednesday, I want to see you back. If the pain is tolerable, you may return to your normal schedule on Monday," the doctor says to Tobias. I start pouting because I'm still on house arrest because of a stupid sprained ankle, and he gets to go back to work after two days with a _skull_ fracture. That just seems a bit out of balance. "I'm going to give you a prescription for 10 pain pills. That should be sufficient to take care of your pain. They can be taken up to four times a day but no closer than six hours apart." A nurse in dark blood red scrubs comes into the room and halts in her tracks when she sees me.

"Hey, I'm sorry I threatened to throw you out of Dauntless. I don't actually remember doing that but I'm sorry anyway," I bashfully say to the startled nurse who brings Tobias his pain medication. Dr. Parrish and Tobias both laugh.

"That's not the nurse," Tobias says, laughing lightly.

"Oh, well I'm sorry I threatened some nurse and now everyone is afraid of me. I wasn't in a very good mood last night. Sorry," I say apologizing once again.

"I know you aren't the best patient, Tris, but I had no idea you were going to terrorize my staff last night when I let you sleep here," Dr. Parrish says, chuckling. "Shall we examine your ankle while we have you here?" I grab my crutches and follow him to an examination room and sit on the table while Tobias is being released. He presses on my ankle and has me walk on it, and I'm surprised there's still no pain. I think this past week of not putting any weight on it has really made a huge difference. "With the crutches, walk up this hallway to the fifth door on the right then walk back to me." I do as the doctor orders and still feel no pain or stiffness. "I'm going to get an x-ray of your left hand to see how it's progressing. Just stay here." He walks out of the room as I sit on the little metal examination table swinging my legs back and forth, waiting and hoping.

Things seem to be looking up at the moment. Tobias is being released right now, and his injuries are not that severe. My ankle seems to have healed, _finally_. Maybe if my hand has healed, he will let me take the air splint off, and I can get back to my normal routine, whatever that is. It's been so long that I don't remember what my routine was or how to do my job anymore. Thinking of my job brings back the fact that somewhere in this infirmary are the men who attacked Tobias. I can't help but wonder about them. Who are they? Why are they doing this to us? Most of all, how do we stop it? Also, will we get any answers from them?

The nurse in the blood red scrubs asks me to follow her to the x-ray room where the first technician I saw the day I fell takes several views of my left hand. I'm then allowed to go back to the room I just left, and I find Tobias patiently sitting on the examination table waiting for me. I hop up on the table beside him and lean against his side as he wraps his arm around me, and I rest my hand on his upper thigh. We wait in silence for Dr. Parrish.

"Okay, Tris. Everything looks excellent with you. I believe your ankle has healed properly, and you shouldn't have any problems with it from this point forward. Also the hairline fractures are no longer evident on the x-rays. I will take this splint from you," he says, gently removing the air splint from my hand. I tentatively flex my fingers and feel no pain but do feel quite a bit of stiffness. "In your apartment you can ambulate normally. I would, however, like you to use the crutches on long walks until the night of the masquerade ball. You should be fine by then. No running, jumping the trains, and no hand-to-hand or punching bags until February 1. I know that sounds like a long time, but I want you totally healed before attempting any of those things. Use the pool to get some workouts in if you feel you need to. It's less stressful on your body. I'll have an orderly come and get the wheelchair from you. Use the anti-inflammatories you have left to deal with any stiffness in your hand or ankle you may be having. It should subside within a day or two. If you have any residual pain in your ankle, acetaminophen should be adequate to take care of the discomfort."

"The wheelchair is by Four's office," I say. "So ... I'm free to go back to work?" I can't hide my excitement.

"For this week, I would like you to stick to office work. I don't think you need to be walking all over the compound if it isn't _absolutely_ necessary. Does that sound fair?" he asks.

"Perfectly fair," I say. _Yes_ , I get to go back to work and stop feeling like I'm not contributing. I can't stop the smile that's turning up my lips.

"Okay, Four. Here is your prescription," he says handing Tobias a small piece of white paper. "You can go to the pharmacy and have it filled. I would rather you take the medication than try to tough out the pain. Just like I told Tris when she fell, you will heal quicker if you aren't in pain. If the headache does not subside before Wednesday, I want to see you back. If it goes away, I don't need to see you here unless you have a problem. Any questions?"

"I'm clear on that doc. What I want to know about is the men who attacked me. Do we have IDs on them?"

"No and from the looks of them, they are either extremely unexceptional Dauntless members or they _aren't_ Dauntless members," Dr. Parrish says.

"Meaning?" Tobias says, but _I_ think I get his meaning.

"No tattoos? Am I right?" I ask, looking up at Tobias. I might be right about this. Our attackers might also be intruders.

"No tattoos. No piercings. Only normal blonde hair. The dead man's DNA does match that of one of the attackers who killed Amar, George, and Ivy. Our other guest's DNA doesn't match the other two known samples, and he is handcuffed to his bed per your instructions, Four. Here is a list of everything I know at the moment including John Doe's autopsy results," he says handing Tobias the folder he's been clutching tightly in his hands. "I would say you could talk to the one who is still alive before you leave this morning but he is still unconscious. Would you like me to call Will or Tori if he wakes up today?"

"Actually, Dr. Parrish, I want to be notified immediately when he wakes up. It's my intention to speak with him myself. I want to be the one who questions him. I would like to know why he did this to me," he says holding his hand out to Dr. Parrish. They shake hands, and we start toward home.

It's still quite early, not yet 8:00 a.m. We pick up Tobias' prescription from the 24-hour pharmacy then go straight to our apartment instead of going to the cafeteria for breakfast. We both collapse on the couch from exhaustion. I text Will, Christina, Tori, Zeke, and Shauna telling them we're at home now but that Four needs his rest, the nurses had him up every hour on the hour last night checking his head injury. I make us breakfast as he reads through the file Dr. Parrish gave him on our mysterious intruders. It feels good to be able to do things on my own for a change. I fix pancakes and sausage for breakfast and serve them alongside a tall glass of milk at the island. Tobias sets the folder Dr. Parrish gave him down next to him and slides it over to me when I finish my breakfast.

The deceased man, not surprisingly, died from the head trauma he suffered during the fall. The other man has six broken ribs, collapsed lung, concussion, brain contusion, right broken arm, left broken leg, and various contusions and abrasions. I look up at Tobias, and he is looking at me, caution on his face.

"Does it bother you that I caused him all those injuries?" he quietly asks.

"No, not at all. You were protecting yourself from someone whose intent more than likely was to kill, and you protected me. How can that bother me?" I smile at him and he yawns.

"Why don't you go upstairs and get some sleep," I say gathering our plates to put in the dishwasher.

"I'm not going to lie in bed all day," he says, " _unless_ you're beside me." I'm not sure that's such a good idea. He really needs to get some rest and with me there he might get other ideas. I finish cleaning up the kitchen in silence thinking about what I should do. Decision made, I go back to him and take him by the hand and slowly lead him up the stairs to our bedroom. I turn the bed down as he takes his shirt and pants off. He slides between the sheets wearing nothing but his boxer briefs. I go to the dresser and get out my nightgown. I take my shirt and bra off and put my nightgown on then take my pants off and slide into bed beside him. I turn my back to him and he pulls me to him. Within minutes I recognize the deep, steady rise and fall of his chest indicating he fell asleep. I'm not really tired but the constant rhythm of his chest against my back lulls me to sleep.

I wake up and look at the clock and see that it's only a little after noon. Tobias is now lying on his back, and I'm able to slip out of bed without disturbing him. I quietly get some clothes out of the dresser then go into the bathroom, shower, and get dressed. I slowly descend the stairs, my mind on last night's attack. I retrieve the file folder Dr. Parrish gave Tobias, and I thoroughly read each and every word, looking for some kind of clue but I find nothing new. I set it aside and start looking through the Dauntless inactive files Tobias brought me at the beginning of the week. I keep the sketches Hana provided and the photo grab from the security camera feed right next to me as I look at the files closely.

After an hour straight of looking at one inactive file after another, my eyes are burning from the strain. I decide to look at one more then check on Tobias. He shouldn't sleep all day, or he won't be able to sleep tonight. I flip open the file and stare at the name, Cameron Nathaniel Wright. Parents, Nathan and Drusilla Wright. He's 6'3" tall, 200 pounds, and would now be 20 years old. Dauntless born to Erudite. The face in the photograph staring back at me is a younger version of the man in Hana's sketch and the photo we have from the security footage. I gather up the file, sketches, and photo and fly up the stairs to wake Tobias up.

I crawl onto the bed and sit next to him, with my back against the headboard. I look down at him, and he looks so peaceful that I can't bring myself to wake him. I put the file on the nightstand to show him later. A couple more hours isn't going to make a difference. I was already nervous about my newfound Dauntless family but this finding makes me increasingly uncomfortable. I wonder if my mom would have any insight into her brother. They haven't seen each other in over 18 years but maybe she could tell me what he was like when he was younger. Maybe he has some sort of a prejudice or preconceived notion about divergence that rubbed off on his son.

"What are you thinking about?" Tobias says, making me jump.

"You're awake! I need to show you something important that I just found." I lean over, pick up the file, and hand it to Tobias. "I found one of the attackers in the inactive files. Look at the name." He flips open the file and is instantly wide awake. He looks at me stunned. "I had a thought run through my mind just a few minutes ago. I would like to talk to my mom about her brother, see what her take on him is. What do you think?"

"I think that's a great idea, and we should go right now," he says, throwing the covers off himself and climbing out of bed.

"Are you sure? How are you feeling?" I ask, worry thick in my voice. I don't want him in pain.

"The sleep helped. I'll take a shower and get dressed then we can drive to Abnegation. Do you think your mom will be home?"

"If she isn't, I think I know where she'll be," I say thinking back to my mother's schedule. Saturday afternoons she volunteered at the library downtown. Her schedule varied rarely when I was growing up but I haven't been in Abnegation for months now, it could have changed. He gets ready lightning fast, and soon I find myself outside the Dauntless compound for the first time since I accompanied Christina to her clinic appointment. That was the day of my accident. I inhale the freezing temperature and feel an uncomfortable tightness in my lungs. I usually don't like the bitter cold of our city's winter but it's nice to be breathing fresh air so I take a couple more deep breathes, ignoring the painful sensation deep in my chest.

Tobias pulls up in one of the Dauntless cars, which reminds me of a sleek black panther on the prowl, which we learned about in lower levels, and we head toward the library downtown. He is unusually quiet during our trip. I can feel tension rolling off of him in waves. I would love to know what he's thinking about but he'll share when he's ready. This is the hardest thing I've had to endure during our relationship. I would love to just pull the information out of his head but he never shares anything until he's completely ready. Soon he's pulling up to the city's public library, which is used by all the factions except for Abnegation. They think reading for pleasure is selfish. We go in and ask if Natalie Prior is volunteering today and are told she isn't so we continue on to Abnegation.

"Are you okay, Tobias?" I finally ask, unable to stand it anymore. He looks straight ahead avoiding any debris that might be in the damaged streets in this part of town and takes a deep breath.

"It's going back to Abnegation, Tris," he says with a sigh. "I never thought I would go back there for anything ... ever."

"You didn't have to come with me. I could have come on my own." I want to ask the obvious question about his father but I won't. Just in case he isn't thinking about him at this moment, I don't want to be the one who reminds him.

"Yeah, I did. I wouldn't want you to come alone," he says, giving me a small smile. Soon we are slowly travelling through the very familiar streets of our old home. He doesn't ask me where my parents live, he just pulls up right in front of their house. I look at him inquisitively. He points to a house down the street. "That's Marcus' house." Of course. We were neighbors.

"How is it we didn't know each other when we lived so close to one another?" I ask, taking his hand in mine.

"I don't know," he says pulling our laced hands up to his mouth and kissing my knuckles. "I do know one thing. If we would have known each other back then, there's no way in hell I would have been able to leave you when I turned 16. So part of me is glad we didn't meet until you came to Dauntless." I understand what it is he's saying. He had to get away from his father's abuse, and if we had known each other back then, he would have had to choose between getting away from his father and staying with me. I'm glad we didn't meet back then also. I lean over and place my lips on his and kiss him tenderly yet thoroughly. I pull back and just stare into the depths of his soulful eyes for a moment, panting lightly.

"Shall we," he says, clearing his throat, which clears my head. Butterflies start dancing in my stomach with anticipation at the thought of seeing my mother again. I haven't seen her since visiting day. Tobias and I walk hand-in-hand up the short gray concrete sidewalk to the plain gray wooden door. I look up at him, nervousness clear on my face, and he knocks. After a moment my mom opens the door to us.

"Beatrice!" she says, shock clear on her face.

"Hi, Mom," I say.


	45. Chapter 45

"Come in, come in," my mom pleasantly says to Tobias and me, stepping to the side to let us in out of the frigid weather. "It sure is cold out there. Here let me take your coats." We both shrug out of our heavy black leather jackets and hand them to my mother. She hangs them up in the small coat closet situated by the front door, and I once again take Tobias' hand. He grips my hand like a vice when he looks into the small closet. This is the first time I've seen an Abnegation closet since going through his fear landscape, and I note that it _is_ particularly small. I can't imagine being locked up in one day after day for hours on end. My mom leads us into the family room and offers us a place to sit and refreshments. We decline the food but take the hot coffee. We sit side-by-side on the plain light gray couch. She has a fire going in the stone fireplace, strictly for warmth, but it gives the unadorned room a coziness to it.

"Mom, this is my boyfriend, Four. You met on visitation day," I say to my mother, motioning to Tobias with my hand.

"Of course, I remember," she says. "It's nice to see you again, Four." My dad must have told her about us because there is absolutely no surprise in her eyes upon hearing I have a boyfriend.

"Mrs. Prior," Tobias says bowing his head to her, a custom left over from his Abnegation upbringing. "I would like to say this is a social call but it's not."

"Please, call me Natalie, Four. What can _I_ do for Dauntless?" my mom says, her hand landing on her chest and concern crossing her face. Tobias and I look toward one another. He nods to me, indicating I should continue.

"I'm not exactly sure where to start," I say, still looking toward Tobias. I slowly drag my eyes away from his, they are just too easy to get lost in, and look toward my mother. Pain spasms through my heart as I realize just how much I've missed her. "We have a problem in Dauntless. Someone is killing ... people. We have a pretty good idea that the people who are being targeted are Divergent but we can't be 100% certain without total strangers entrusting their leaders with their most private and most dangerous secret. Shortly after taking over leadership, Four found two sets of names hidden on our old leader's computer, very well hidden lists. The first list of names is the list that has been targeted, and my name is on that list." She gasps and the color starts to drain from her face.

"I'm sorry to hear about your troubles, but what can I do to help you?" she asks, when she regains her composure.

"There's more, Mom. I know you were born in Dauntless. I got that impression the day you visited me. You knew your way around the compound so much better than I did, and you knew how the simulations worked. You told me to be careful. I just assumed you'd been born there. Three weeks ago, I got into an accident. I twisted my ankle trying to get out of the way of a couple children on the path and fell. If a Good Samaritan hadn't pulled me back up onto the path I don't know if I would be sitting here right now." Tobias squeezes my hand again. Neither one of us likes thinking about losing the other. "When that man pulled me to safety, I thought I was seeing things. He reminded me so much of Caleb that I couldn't, no I _wouldn't_ believe it. During my recuperation at home, I convinced myself that what I saw just wasn't possible and my eyes were playing tricks on me. Then a little over a week ago, I saw him again in the cafeteria with his family. I think you might know who I'm talking about," I say, prompting my mom to speak.

"Nathan," she says with a whisper. "Nathan, Dru, and Cam?" Cam? She knows about Cameron?

"One of the reasons we came here was to talk about Cameron but no, Callen is who was with Nathan and Dru," I say.

"Callen? I'm afraid he must have been born after I left. This is the first time I'm hearing his name. What about Cameron?" My mom has no color left in her face, and I'm afraid she would collapse right out of her chair and onto the bare wooden floor if she weren't holding on to herself so tightly. I look at Tobias for help. I didn't realize she would know who Cameron was.

"Like Tris said, we've had some assaults and deaths at Dauntless of suspected Divergents. DNA has been collected from several different victims, myself included," he says, indicating his jaw, "and we've come up with three separate profiles. My best friend's mother was assaulted and is lucky to be alive. She saw her assailants and helped us out by providing sketches of them. After looking at surveillance footage, we found one of her attackers on film." He stops and takes a deep breath then winces because of his broken rib. I put my hand on his, and I notice my mom looking at our hands. I continue for him not moving my hand.

"After looking at the drawings, another of our leaders, her name is Tori, didn't recognize either of their likenesses. The problem with that is Tori has worked in the tattoo parlor ever since her initiation and knows almost every single person in Dauntless. That made me think, what if it wasn't active members of Dauntless who are doing this? I was right. I found one of Hana's attackers ... Cameron. He left Dauntless for Erudite when he was 16."

"We also have one attacker in our morgue and another in the infirmary. Hey attacked me last night," Tobias continues. "By the way, my name is also on the list that Tris' name is on. We are both in grave danger if we can't figure this out and do it soon."

"What can I do," my mom says, sounding more Dauntless than Abnegation.

"Tell me about your upbringing. Tell me what you know about Nathan and Dru. Could they somehow be involved in this? We suspect there are insiders letting either factionless or other factions into our compound and supplying them with information, but we don't have a clue as to who it might be or where to start looking. It's extremely frustrating. Cameron is our only solid lead," I say with a sigh. My mom is very quiet, thinking about her childhood I imagine.

I let my eyes wander around the room taking in my familiar surroundings. The old plain dark gray couch I would sit quietly on for hours trying to lose myself while knitting. The fireplace Caleb and I would lie in front of on cold winter mornings before our parents got up and play games, before we got too old and that was discouraged. The worn chair with the frayed fabric on the left arm my dad would sit in listening to Caleb and I tell stories about our day. The tattered recliner where my mom would just sit and contemplate her next selfless act. I wonder if envisioning your next selfless act could be considered selfish. Probably not.

"My upbringing," she sighs. Her eyes glaze over like she's actually in a different place and time. "My father, Henry, was a hard man to please. He complained about everything, it didn't matter how little or how big. He worked hard, played hard, and drank hard. He was the very definition of Dauntless, reckless and foolish. He died young. Nathan was nine and I was only seven. Sadly, he didn't have much love for us.

"My mother, Grace, was the most caring and compassionate woman I've ever known. She loved Nathan and me more than anything else in this world. She did the best she could with us before and after Dad died. Leaving her behind is the hardest thing I've ever done in my entire life. Although I tried to hide it, she saw it coming. I fell in love with your father in upper levels, and when we decided together to join Abnegation, I never looked back. I thought it was best for everyone.

"Nathan and I were very close until Dad died, then he shut himself off from everyone, and he stopped doing anything he liked. He threw himself into being the best Dauntless he could be, and he wasn't even a teenager yet. He taught himself how to fight and handle weapons by watching others. As a matter of fact, in my memory, that's what Nathan did best, wait and watch. He was calculating, sneaky. I didn't like the friends he made, Asher and Zander Parrish and Miles Randolph. They were trouble. I loved Nathan but I didn't trust him. I had no problem leaving him behind."

"Was divergence ever mentioned in your home, Mrs. Prior? Something that would give Nathan a reason to hate us or to pass a grudge onto his son," Tobias says, finally relaxing back into the couch. My mom stays quiet for a time, contemplating.

"Please, Four. I would like you to call me Natalie," she says. He looks like a bashful puppy who just got scolded by its owner for the first time. "Divergence was a hot topic in our home as it was in all of Dauntless. My father mistrusted anyone, or anything for that matter, that he did not understand and that was most people and most things. Divergence is something that was and still is widely misunderstood." She takes a deep breath then looks Tobias in the eye. "You see, just like Beatrice here, I am Divergent and so was my mother. I didn't know I was until my aptitude test, like so many other Divergents. The night of the test, my mother pulled me aside and made me tell her my results, Dauntless and Erudite, and told me she suspected as much because she saw in me what she already knew about herself. That's how I recognized it so easily with you, Beatrice. I don't know if my father knew about my mother and me or not, but I'm sure that Nathan didn't." I can't answer. I'm in total shock. Not only am I Divergent, but so are my mother and my grandmother. I have so many questions to ask but nothing will come out of my mouth.

"Mrs. Sorry. Natalie? Is there a possibility that your brother is Divergent?" Tobias says, asking one question I want answered also.

"I'm sure he isn't. I don't remember him having any of the Divergent characteristics."

"How come you never told me you were Dauntless and Dad was Erudite and I had family out there? I know it's faction before blood but it would have been nice to know. When I saw a man who looked the spitting image of my brother and I suspected you lived there at one point, all sort of crazy things went through my head." She just smiles at me.

"It's selfish to talk about one's self, Beatrice. You know that," she gently scolds. I sigh again. Suddenly I feel like I'm five years old again.

"I'm sorry, Mom. It was such a shock. Wait? Dauntless and _Erudite_ not Abnegation?" I say, finally picking up on her aptitude test results.

"Yes. I find Abnegation easy to fit in with but I don't have the aptitude for it."

"So, since I have the aptitude for Abnegation, why do I find it so hard being selfless?" I ask. Finding out my mother, my perfect selfless mother, doesn't even have the aptitude for my original faction makes me feel that much worse about myself.

"That's easy, honey. You are 90% Dauntless. I've seen that since you were a toddler. You have always been fearless and brave. I knew you would leave us and become Dauntless. Your father didn't see what I saw and he was..." she gets cut off.

"Hurt and angry when you chose Dauntless over Abnegation, but has gotten over it," my dad says, a smile on his face, standing in the doorway to the family room. Tobias and I jump up, dropping our hands to our side. I see my mom grin out of the corner of my eye.

"Dad," I say, "we came to talk to Mom about her brother. It's nice to see you."

"Are you feeling better, Beatrice? Your colleague, Tori was it, said you had an accident. You look well."

"I'm much better, thank you. I just got off of the crutches today and had the splint on my left hand removed. The doctor wouldn't let me work while I was recuperating that's why I had to miss the last leader's meeting."

"Please, sit back down. What's this about Nathan?" my dad asks, knocking me off balance, at least mentally. There's so much I don't know about my own life, and I'm finding it extremely frustrating. Tobias and I tell my dad the same story we just relayed to my mother, and he listens carefully.

"What can you tell me about Dru?" I ask my mother, having forgotten about my aunt up until now.

"Ah, Drusilla," my mom says pausing. I can tell she's trying to keep her Abnegation ways and tell me what she knows without being considered selfish. "Dru was a year older than me and married Nathan immediately after initiation was over. Cameron was born within the year. He was such a cute baby. I never got along with Dru. I found her to be a lot like my brother and his friends Asher, Zander, and Miles. I never trusted her either." The look on my dad's face censors my mom a little but she holds her head high. "Andrew we aren't gossiping here. I am telling Beatrice and Four my opinions of people who may or may not be involved in some shady dealings at Dauntless."

"You're right, Natalie. I'm sorry," he says. This is the first time in my life I've ever seen an exchange like this between them, and my mouth falls open. Tobias nudges me, and I quickly regain my composure.

"There is one more thing about Dru but I can't give you specifics because I don't know any. Something happened in her life that caused scarring on her back and legs. I saw them once just after Cameron was born. She doesn't know that I know," Mom says.

"Dad?" I ask and he looks my way. I almost lose my nerve but continue. "If you don't want to answer this, I'll understand. You think talking about yourself is selfish. Did you leave anyone behind at Erudite?" I really want to know where I came from. I could have just as easily chosen Erudite.

"Ah, Beatrice. You know I'm not fond of Erudite, right."

"I'm not asking you to tell me about your upbringing, just about people you left behind. I would like to know. It was shocking to look up into a total stranger's face and see my mother's eyes staring back at me. I didn't like that feeling, and I really don't want it repeated."

"Okay, Beatrice. I will tell you. I left behind my mother, Beatrice; my father, Caleb; two older brothers, Aaron and Adam; and twin younger sisters, Anna and April, at Erudite. One older brother, Alex, chose Amity the year before I came to Abnegation." Wow, my dad had a huge family, and we have _twins_ in it. That's good to know. That was on the questionnaire I filled out at the clinic. "I've run into all my siblings from time to time since I'm on the council, and I've been told of numerous nieces and nephews whose names I'm afraid I can't remember."

"What was your aptitude test result? Mom just told me she doesn't even have Abnegation. I'm just trying to wrap my head around all this," I say.

"Erudite," he says after many minutes of silence. "That is the _last_ question I'm going to answer about myself, Beatrice."

"Please, one more question, for both of you," I say, looking at both of them in turn. They sit stoic staring back at me. "Caleb and I are named after our grandparents aren't we?" They look at one another and smile at that question.

"It was our way of remembering where we came from and the family we left behind," my dad says. Tobias is looking at me strangely.

"My full name is Beatrice Grace and Caleb's middle name is Henry," I say to him and he nods his head at me in understanding. "Dad, do you remember looking at the sketches Tori brought with her to the leader's meeting?"

"Yes. Neither of them looked familiar to me I'm afraid." I pull Cameron's sketch out of my pocket and hand it to him. "This is Cameron. Now that you know who he is, does he look familiar to you?" He studies the picture for a long moment then shakes his head. He hands it back to me, and I hand it to my mother. She gasps and raises her hand to her mouth, tears welling up in her eyes.

"Are you sure this is Cameron?" she asks, obviously not wanting to believe it. I nod my head, telling her I'm sure. "I've seen him here ... here in Abnegation. Let me try to think where." Does this have something to do with Erudite's vendetta against Abnegation also? I'm glad we came. I look toward Tobias, and he is leaning forward on the edge of the couch like he's ready to spring into action at any moment. I put my hand on his back, and he relaxes a little but doesn't sit back. He puts his hand on my knee, and I lean into him, needing his strength flowing through me right now. "I can't remember where it was, but it was recently. He was dressed in Abnegation gray. I knew he looked familiar to me but I didn't give him a second thought because I know so many people because of your father's seat on the council. What does this mean?" We all look at one another not saying a word. Silence fills the room until it's deafening.

"Can I have that drawing?" my dad asks.

"I'm afraid it's the only copy we have, Andrew. To protect Hana, the woman who supplied us with the eye witness identification, we've only allowed the one copy of the attackers. We didn't want someone catching wind of the fact she was talking and have them try to silence her. I couldn't take that. She's been like a mother to Tris and me at Dauntless." My mom sits smiling, Abnegation as ever, not letting the news that another woman is mothering her daughter cause her any visible pain. "I'll make a copy of the sketches we have, the photo of Cameron from the security footage, and photos of the men who attacked me last night and bring them to you personally on Monday. I'll also bring a copy of everything we have so far, which I'm afraid to admit isn't much. Identifying him has been our best lead so far," Tobias says pointing to the sketch of Cameron. A knock on the door startles all of us, and by the look on my dad's face, I can tell that it's Marcus.

"I'm sorry kids but if you aren't wanting to see Four's father may I suggest you go out the backdoor. I wouldn't have invited him had I known you would be here, Tobi ... Four." We all get up. I give my dad a quick hug, and he and Tobias shake hands. My mom ushers us out the backdoor after she retrieves our coats from the small front hall closet as my dad goes to the front door to greet Marcus.

"Beatrice, may I speak to you for a moment? Is that alright, Tobias? I'm so sorry, _Four_?"

"I'll heat the car up, Tris. Thank you for the hospitality, Mrs.," he stops when my mom frowns at him. "Natalie." She holds her hand out to him, and he shakes it then goes around the front of the house leaving me with my mother. She grabs me up in her arms and pats my hair.

"Oh, my baby. I've missed you terribly." She gently releases me from the hug and puts her hands on my cheeks and looks me deep in the eyes. "You've grown up so much in such a short amount of time. I love your hair. It's definitely Dauntless. You don't really look like my Beatrice anymore. You don't mind me calling you that do you?"

"Actually Mom, I prefer it when you and Dad call me Beatrice. It sounds odd to have you two call me Tris, and I like to be reminded from time to time of who I was, where I came from."

"I would like to know just how serious you are about Tobias," she says, her tone soft but stern.

"Four please, Mom. He doesn't want to be called Tobias, especially here in the middle of Abnegation. He never thought he would have to come back here. This has been extremely difficult for him." I stop and look at my mom and try to determine how much I'm willing to tell her. I might as well tell her the truth. "I'm in love with him, Mom. It's _very_ serious."

"I can see you love him, and I'm not blind to the fact that he loves you too but you are both so young. It worries me. Are you two being careful?" she asks.

"We're being as careful as we can, Mom. Unfortunately, we never know when these maniacs are going to strike. I was just hyperaware last night for some reason and realized that something was going on. I'm glad I was, or Four could have been killed," I say. She has a polite smile on her face, but her eyes are dancing. Did I miss something?

"Honey. I'm glad you are being vigilant about your surroundings when you are out and about in Dauntless but that isn't what I'm asking. Are you and Tobias being careful and protecting yourselves?" _What_? Am I hearing my mom correctly? Is she asking me about _sex_? Although it's barely 20 degrees outside, I start to sweat. She's asking me if we use birth control.

"Mom," I croak but I can't force anything else out. I'm forever mute from this day forward I'm afraid.

"Oh, my baby. The rules I had to abide by during your upbringing didn't allow me to tell you everything I wanted to, everything you need to know. Let me tell you this now, Beatrice Grace Prior. There is so much more to sex than just the procreation of children like I told you. It's a way two people who are truly in love and committed to one another show that love. Sex should never be taken lightly or taken for granted. Although your relationship should never be _based_ on sex, don't forget it's a vitally important part. Don't ever use sex as a weapon or withhold it just because you're angry or spiteful but don't give in just because you think it's your duty, sex should _never_ be a duty." She takes a step closer to me, and I now find myself not only speechless but also frozen to the ground although I could swear it's 100 degrees outside right now. "Sex is about emotions not just physical gratification. It can change you here and here." She points at my heart and my head. "It can change a relationship and not always for the better. Keep a line of communication open and don't be afraid to talk with Tobias. Communication is of the utmost important, Beatrice. If he does something you don't want him to, you need to tell him. Just like you need to not be afraid to tell him what you want. I look like I'm scaring you right now. That wasn't my intention. I just want you to take good care of yourself." She wraps her arms around me, and my frozen body slowly starts to thaw.

"We're being careful, and we're protected, Mom. You don't need to worry," I say to her, bashfully, finally finding my voice. She lets me go, and I look toward the ground before I continue. "Thank you for that. I have to admit I was angry when I realized there was so much you left out. I thought our relationship wasn't as strong as I always thought it was. I'm glad you proved me wrong tonight even though the subject still makes me uncomfortable." I throw myself in her arms, and she holds me for a moment.

"I love you my girl, my special, special girl" she says before letting me go. "You better get going, it's a long drive back to Dauntless, especially in the dark. Be careful."

"We will. I love you, Mom. Four and I will come back sometime soon for a visit and not to interrogate you." She laughs. "Bye." I wave at her then run to the car and let myself in. He has the heater running full blast warming up the car, and I immediately lower the temperature after I slide into the passenger seat. I don't say anything letting everything my mom said sink in.

"You were with your mom for a long time. Is everything alright?" he asks, concern in his voice. I look over at him and am thankful that it's dark in the car except for the dim blue light emitting from the dashboard but a blush colors my face anyway.

"My mom just gave me a sex talk," I say having to push the words out.


	46. Chapter 46

The sleek black car snakes along the dark streets, weaving smoothly around the potholes in the factionless part of town I once thought could easily swallow an entire city bus whole. The quiet hum of the car's powerful engine is the only sound inside the car as neither Tobias nor I have made any comment on my sex talk admission. I can, however, feel his seat shaking with silent laughter.

"Tobias, it isn't funny," I whine, my words rushing out, one sentence running into another. "My own mother probably thinks I'm a total idiot. She asked if we were being careful, and I told her we were being as careful as we can because you never knew when the attackers were going to strike next." Tobias' silent laughter turns into full guffaws, and the entire car sways with his movement. "I'm glad you find my horror amusing." I sit back in my seat and cross my arms over my chest, pouting. Finally his fit of hysteria passes.

"I'm sorry, Tris," he says putting his hand on my knee and squeezing. "I shouldn't have laughed. Honestly, I had no idea what she wanted to talk to you about but that was the last thing I thought it would be."

"You think _you_ are surprised? First I couldn't talk, then it got so hot I wanted to take my coat off even though it's bitter cold out, and then I was frozen in place even though the only thing I truly wanted to do was run as far as my feet would carry me." I sigh and let my arms fall, my hand covering his, which is still on my knee. We lace our fingers together.

"I'm truly sorry for laughing. If you want to talk about it, I'll listen. If you don't want to, that's fine also," he says in true Tobias fashion, lifting our hands to his mouth. He kisses our entwined hands then sets them down on his thigh.

"How are you, Tobias? I know it was difficult going back to Abnegation after all this time. Having Marcus show up at my parent's house couldn't have helped either."

"It was rough at first. All the bad memories came rushing back at once. It made it hard to breath but you took my hand and led me through," he says quietly. "The strength you give me is one of the many reasons I love you, Beatrice Prior." Just then he pulls up in front of the compound. I had no idea we were that close. I look into his eyes and pull his mouth to mine and kiss him, almost forgetting where we are. He pulls back and I sigh. I get out of the car and enter the front of the Dauntless building then trudge up the flight of stairs to our apartment, suddenly feeling extremely tired. When I reach the top of the stairs, Christina, Will, and Tori are standing in the hallway in front of my door.

"There you are," Christina says, rushing toward me. "We've been looking everywhere for you."

"Hey, what's wrong?" I ask, panic replacing the fatigue when I see the look on her face.

"Where have you _been_? Where is Four?" Tori asks.

"He's parking the car. We didn't tell you we were leaving, did we?" I ask quietly. All three of them give me a hard look.

"Come in. We have some news to tell you," I say, unlocking the door and stepping aside to let them enter. Christina lowers herself into her favorite chair and Will and Tori sit on opposite ends of the couch. I sit down on the loveseat, and we wait for Tobias in strained silence. When he comes into the room, he stops in his tracks upon seeing we have company.

"I forgot to tell you we were leaving, didn't I?" he says. "Sorry. In our haste to get to Tris' mother, I didn't even think about telling you guys we were leaving."

"Tris, is your mom okay?" Christina asks, concern lighting her eyes.

"She's fine. We thought she might have some information that could help us with our investigation into the assaults and deaths," I say.

"No offense, Tris, but how could someone from Abnegation help us?" Will asks.

"My mom was born in Dauntless," I say. I told Christina about this and Tobias of course but this news comes as a surprise to Tori and Will. "This afternoon while Four was resting, I decided to look at some of the inactive files, and I found one of the attackers." I get up and walk to where the files are but the top file isn't Cameron's. I remember it's upstairs. "Four, we left it on the nightstand. Do you mind going up and getting it?" He hurries up the stairs to retrieve the file folder and returns almost immediately. He hands me the manila folder and starts looking at his phone, which he must have left here during our spur‑of-the-moment trip. I see him frown at its screen as I open the file to double check my findings then hand it to Tori. She opens it up and starts analyzing its content. "His name is Cameron Wright. He's Dauntless born but he chose Erudite almost four years ago. He's the approximate height and weight of Hana's larger attacker and his picture matches even though he's slightly older now."

"The guy in the infirmary is awake, and I can talk to him first thing in the morning," Tobias says matter-of-factly. He takes my hand and drags me toward the loveseat, and we sit down. Tori hands the file to Will, and I see his eyes widen with surprise.

"Tris, is this your cousin?" he asks. That shocks Tori, and she's on her feet lightning fast.

" _What_? This person is a part of your _family_?" she asks angrily.

"Calm down, Tori," Tobias says, sounding very tired. "Tris didn't even know she _had_ family here in Dauntless until a little over a week ago, and who could have guessed they were involved." Tori slowly sits back down but her eyes are burning with hatred.

"I never thought to tell you this, Tori, but the man who pulled me up to safety the night I fell is my mother's older brother, Nathan Wright. I didn't know that at the time. Later when I found him in the cafeteria, we figured it out while talking, and I confirmed it with my mom tonight. I needed her insight into this family that I didn't even know existed after realizing Cameron is one of Hana's attackers.

"My mom told me about her upbringing here in Dauntless with her parents and brother. Her father died when she and her brother were very young, and she said it changed Nathan. She explained that divergence was a hot topic in their household, and they were much mistrusted and misunderstood even then. She also explained to me that she and my grandmother are also Divergent, and she knew since I was quite young that I was also and that I would chose Dauntless when the time came. She gave me some names of Nathan's friends, Asher and Zander Parrish and Miles Randolf who she didn't like much. She said the lot of them were trouble makers."

"Zander Parrish is Dr. Parrish," Tori says. I was afraid one of the names was Dr. Parrish but didn't want to voice that possibility. He's helped us a lot personally and professionally. "Isn't Asher Parrish the new head of Erudite?" I knew that name sounded familiar.

"I believe you're right, Tori," I say. "He was announced as Jeannine's successor after her execution. I had forgotten about that."

"Some other very troubling information was given to us by Tris' mother. She has seen Cameron in Abnegation dressed like an Abnegation member. She couldn't recall exactly where she saw him, but she's trying her best to remember. This conspiracy could also have something to do with Erudite's vendetta against Abnegation."

"I'll be honest. Before I left Erudite, the search for Divergents was the main subject of many meetings and a lot of gossip and, I thought, Jeanine Matthews' number one priority. I never knew she wanted them dead though. Then when the Abnegation plot was uncovered I thought I was wrong but I'm not so sure anymore," says Will. He's very tense talking about his old faction, which still houses family members he loves very much. "Apparently, there are still Erudite members and Dauntless members working together to not only try to take out Divergents but also bring down Abnegation. Are we equipped to handle this? Who do we trust?"

"That's an excellent question," I say. "I trust the people in this room and my parents wholeheartedly. I can't say the same thing about other council leaders or the other faction leaders. Four and I are going back to Abnegation Monday to take copies of the sketches of Hana's attackers, the photo of Cameron from the surveillance feed, and photos of the men in the infirmary and morgue. Maybe, by chance, we can get some answers or perhaps stop another coup." We all sit in silence for a while when something triggers a memory. "Guys, I just thought of something. Nathan came to our table to say hello to me the night of the Christmas party. Later I opened that horrible package."

"I remember him walking away when I brought back our drinks," Tobias says. "Maybe he's the one who put those packages on the end of the table." We all look at one another again trying to grasp the enormity of the situation.

"Not to change the subject," Christina says, "but how are you, Four?"

"I'm good, Christina. Thanks for asking," he says. I can tell he's hurting right now but he would never admit that to Christina.

"And where are your splint and crutches, Tris?" she asks.

"Dr. Parrish took me off my restrictions this morning. I have to use my crutches if I'm walking long distances until the night of the masquerade ball. I can't run, use the punching bags, or hop the trains until February but he did tell me that if I want to work out, I can use the pool. Apparently, it's easier on the body."

"Good," Christina says, "because you need a ball gown and mask for next Thursday night and Four needs a matching costume. Monday night after supper, you and me, and a shopping trip. Okay?"

"That sounds like a plan," I say with a chuckle. She always gets so excited for a shopping trip, and I do need the distraction. "When do you next work at the tattoo parlor? I need to get that tattoo we talked about," I say, meeting Tobias' eyes for a moment. The love radiating out of them is obvious.

"Monday, all day. Come by at 5:30, and I'll do it before supper then we'll look for a gown. Just don't forget your crutches. You're not going to hurt yourself on my watch." I just shake my head at her. I think everyone thinks I'm accident prone now.

"You mentioned that Dr. Parrish is my uncle's friend, Tori," I say and she nods. "Does anyone think we have a problem with him?" Will, Tori, and Christina are extremely quiet. Even Tobias doesn't make a sound. The truth is we don't know who we can and cannot trust anymore.

"Let's give him the benefit of the doubt until he proves untrustworthy," Tobias says, rubbing his temples. "He has helped us a lot."

"Are you okay," I say quietly. He looks at me and his pupils are slightly larger than normal. "Your pupils are dilated again. Are you feeling okay?" Panic is creeping up.

"I'm fine," he says. I get up from the loveseat and find his prescription pain killers on the counter by the sink right by mine. I grab a bottle of water out of the refrigerator and 1 pill and bring it to him. "Take this, Four." He takes the pill out of my hand, pops it in his mouth, and downs the cold bottle of water. "Guys. Maybe we can pick this back up again Monday morning. Four needs some rest. We're sorry we worried you." Tobias frowns at me but Will, Christina, and Tori all say goodnight and leave us alone.

I turn off the living room lights and flip the Christmas tree lights on. This might be one of our last days to enjoy them. Tobias gets off the loveseat and lies down on the couch when I go to the kitchen to fix supper. I stand with the cupboard doors open trying to figure out what to fix for quite some time. He's a much better cook than I am. Hana has taught him well. I open the refrigerator and see that there is still some creamy tomato basil soup left. I open the container, and it smells good so I try to recreate the toasted cheese sandwiches he made the other day. When I have supper ready I walk into the living room with his plate and mug of steaming soup. I set them down on the end table and look at him. He fell asleep while I was cooking. I hate to wake him but he needs to eat. I kneel down in front of him and gently put my hand on his chest and shake him slightly.

"Tobias. Tobias," I say. His eyes flutter open, and he smiles at me. "It's time for supper. I warmed up the tomato soup and made grilled cheese sandwiches. I doubt they're as good as yours but we'll see." He raises his hand and brushes it across my cheek then wraps his hand around my head and pulls me down to him. He kisses me until we are both breathless, then he groans and winces at the same time. I lay my hand over his racing heart.

"Please don't hurt yourself. Look at me," I say. He raises his eyes back to mine, and I see they're normal sized again. "Your pupils are normal sized again. Please take your medicine the way Dr. Parrish prescribed. I don't want you in pain."

"I'm fine, Tris. Please don't worry about me."

"You have no idea how I felt last night, Tobias Eaton, seeing you the way I did. If you won't take care of yourself for you, then do it for me. Please." I lower my mouth back to his and kiss him slowly but passionately. I pull away and grab his hand and help him into a sitting position and point out his food. He scoots over a bit and takes the plate and eats the sandwich in record time. Maybe we should have taken my mom up on her offer of refreshments earlier. As he finishes the sandwich, I bring him another one, and he thanks me. I fix myself one then put the remaining ingredients away. I sit on the couch by him and eat my sandwich and sip my soup. When we finish, he puts our dirty dishes in the dishwasher, and he comes back over to stand in front of me.

"What are you thinking," I say to him.

"I don't know what to do right now," he says looking at the clock. "It's relatively early but I'm tired. I would love to go to bed but I hate wasting time with you and this beautiful tree. It won't be up much longer." I get up and slide the ottoman down in front of the far end of the couch then I sit with my feet up on it.

"Here," I say patting the couch beside me. "Lie down with your head in my lap." He lies down and places his head in my lap, staring up at me. I run my right hand through his hair as my left hand caress his jaw and face. "Are you awake enough to talk or would you just like to watch the lights and relax?"

"Is there something on your mind?" he asks.

"Yeah," I say, taking a deep breath trying to relax. I know he probably won't like my idea. "I would like to talk to Nathan and his family and see if I can elicit any information from them, before we tell them Cameron is wanted for the assault on Hana."

"I don't think that's a good idea. What if Nathan or his wife or other son for that matter is in the middle of this and does something to hurt you?"

"Okay, how about we invite him and his family over for supper with the two of us. I want to talk to him. I _need_ to talk to him. I got my mother's take on their upbringing, maybe his is different. Maybe they have absolutely nothing to do with this and Cameron's behavior was learned in Erudite. We don't know." I look down and stare into his eyes. We are quiet for a while.

"I'm alright with that. Let's set up a dinner for right after the first of the year."

"Do you know how DNA works?" I ask.

"Not really, why?" he asks.

"I wonder if my DNA would match Cameron's since our parents are brother and sister." I had been wondering about this since I matched his face to the sketch.

"I don't know. That would be a good question for Dr. Parrish and announcing you are Nathan's niece might give away how he feels about him now. I know I said we should give him the benefit of the doubt but all the evidence we have has been collected by him. If he's involved, even after the fact, he could be skewing the results. I mean if my DNA would come back telling everyone I'm a murderer who would I want in my corner but the head of the infirmary?"

"You have a valid point, Tobias. I just hope you're wrong. He seems so trustworthy and has been very helpful both personally and professionally. I don't want to think of him as a traitor," I say. My mind wanders for a while as I absentmindedly play with his hair, gently twisting the curls this way and that, winding them around my fingers then letting them go.

"Tris?" I bring my eyes back to his.

"Hhm?"

"Tell me about it, whatever you're thinking. What has you so far away right now?" I blush crimson giving him a hint as to what was on my mind. "Your mother's talk?" he guesses. I nod. "I'll listen if you want me to." I turn and look at the Christmas tree but soon realize I'm not even seeing it. I'm back in Abnegation with my mother, listening to something I never thought I would get, a totally honest conversation.

"My mom told me sex wasn't all about having children like she was adamant about when she first talked to me. She told me it was a way for two people who are deeply in love and committed to each other to show that love." I stop, listening in my mind to exactly what it was my mom said. "She told me a relationship should never be based on sex but that I should remember it's a vital part of the relationship and not to take it lightly or for granted. Sex should never be used as a weapon, and it should never be withheld because you're mad but you shouldn't do it because you think it's your duty because sex is never a duty. Sex can change you here and here." I look down into his eyes and point at my head and then to my heart. "She told me not to be afraid to talk to you. That communication is key in all aspects of a relationship and to keep the communication open and honest. Sex is emotional not just physical."

"Wow," he says, clearing his throat. "She sure did say a lot, didn't she?" He seems at a loss for words at the moment. I caress his face again.

"She caught me off guard tonight. She asked me how serious it was between us."

"What did you say?" he asks, looking deeply into my eyes.

"I told her I was in love with you and it is _very_ serious. That's when she basically asked me if we were using birth control. After I finally found my voice, I thought I'd never speak again, I told her we were being careful. I also told her not to worry about me."

"Tris, she proved to you in so many ways tonight that she will always worry about you because she loves you probably more than a lot of other things on this planet. Not every mother in Abnegation could look into their daughter's eyes and tell her what she told you. Considering our sex talks were almost verbatim, I imagine there are rules but she knew you needed an open, honest conversation with her."

"She told me that. How did she put it, 'The rules I had to abide by during your upbringing didn't allow me to tell you everything I wanted to, everything you need to know.' I had no idea there were _actual_ rules about things like that. It still seems so strange. That might be why my dad reacted the way he did when he found out about us. He said something along the lines of, 'How could Dauntless let this kind of thing go on?' I thought he was just expressing his opinion but maybe not. Maybe Abnegation has strict dating rules also, more than we realize."

"Have I ever told you how glad I am you came from Abnegation, Beatrice Grace?" he says, catching me by surprise, using my given name. I smile brightly at him. I like my name coming off his lips.

"No, I don't think you have. You've told me how glad you are I chose Dauntless."

"I can talk to you about Marcus and Abnegation without fear of seeing pity in your eyes. You don't know how much that means to me," he says reaching up and caressing my face.

"There's nothing to pity, Tobias," I say covering his hand with mine. "You are a survivor, and there's absolutely nothing shameful about what you went through as a child. _You_ are the victim. It wasn't your fault. Maybe, one day, you can find a way to forgive yourself and then maybe you can release the fear." He gets off the couch and stands before the chasm drawing. I look over my shoulder at him for a while then go join him. I see tears swimming in his eyes. I lean my head against his arm, and he takes a ragged breath in.

"Sometimes I think you're my only reason for being," he huskily says, trying to keep the tears at bay. "I love you." Suddenly he has me up in his arms and his hungry mouth lands on mine. He swiftly carries me up the stairs ignoring the Christmas tree lights. He gently lies me down on the bed and covers me with his body. When our mouths finally part, I draw in an uneven breath. I feel him wince above me, and the passionate fog that's swirling in my head suddenly clears. I push him back lightly and surprise lights his eyes.

"We're not doing this now, Tobias. You're hurt," I say.

"I'm fine," he says, lowering his mouth back to mine. I move my head and roll to the side. He sits up, disbelief and pain in his eyes, and not physical pain.

"Tobias, you were beaten badly yesterday. You have a head injury and a broken rib..." I say but he interrupts me.

"I am fine, Tris."

"No you're not. You just winced," I say raising my voice slightly. I run my hand down his face but the Four mask is firmly in place at this time. I decide to use his words on him. "Do you think I could enjoy myself if you're in pain?" He groans and leans back on the bed.

"You're right. My rib and head hurt. I guess I was just looking for a distraction. I'm sorry. Making love to you should never be a distraction," he says.

"You don't need to apologize, Tobias. Let's go to bed. We both need the sleep," I say sliding off the bed. He just lies back staring at the ceiling. I feel his eyes on me as I slide into a pair of long satin sleep pants and a matching lace and satin camisole top but don't turn toward him until I'm clothed. I go downstairs to turn off the Christmas tree lights and leave him alone with his mood. When I reenter our bedroom he's in a long pair of black satin sleep pants that match mine and is lying between the sheets. I turn out the light and slide up next to him then turn my back to him. He pulls me to him like he has done hundreds of time now, and we fall asleep in each other's arms.


	47. Chapter 47

I drag my tired eyes open, sleep desperately trying to pull me back under. A yawn unwillingly escapes my lips, and I roll toward Tobias whose still sound asleep. I study his slumbering face for any signs of discomfort before I look over his shoulder and see we've been sleeping for more than 12 hours straight. I roll over and snuggle back into him, loving the feel of his arms wrapped around me and the heat of his body radiating into mine. I'm just about to doze back off when I feel his arms tighten around me and his lips in my hair.

"Good morning, Tobias," I say rolling in his arms once again, sliding up a bit, bringing us face to face.

"Good morning, Tris," he says, a smile crossing his lips. He gives me a tender good morning kiss. "I should go down to the infirmary and see if I can get the prisoner to talk to me so we can have the rest of the day to ourselves. It is Sunday after all." I can't disagree with him since long, lazy Sunday afternoons in bed _was_ my idea, and it sounds _so_ good. I don't know if I have the strength in me to tell him no again today.

"How are you feeling this morning?" I say, gently moving his head to look at the bruise on his jaw. It's still very black but starting to turn a dark purple around the edges. I kiss it softly before I look down at his naked torso. The various shades of black, green, and purple twist my heart painfully. The largest bruise, which sits atop his broken rib, has a dark green tint around its edges.

"I'm really not feeling too bad this morning. I can take deep breaths without much pain," he says demonstrating for me. I scrutinize his face and body when he breathes deeply in and out, watching for the wince that's been following inspiration for the past couple days but don't see any signs of discomfort.

"And your head," I prompt, running my hand through his curls, touching the goose egg, which doesn't seem as prominent. He pauses for a moment, assessing his pain I guess.

"A light headache, which should go away as soon as I take the medicine Dr. Parrish prescribed me. Are you satisfied I'm not in any pain?" he asks, rolling us so I am lying on top of him. I look at his face again, seeing how he takes my weight on his bruised and battered upper body but he just gazes into my eyes with a grin on his face.

"Yes, I am," I say, dodging his mouth. "You know the quicker we get to the infirmary and take care of business the sooner we can come back here and spend some quality time together, alone … in bed … naked." I lower my mouth to his and give him a quick kiss. I pull back and he lets me roll off of him. "Why don't you use the bathroom first, and I'll go down and fix us something to eat. Do you have any requests?" He stretches then gets off the bed. He walks toward the bathroom then turns back to me.

"Blueberry pancakes and bacon. I'm pretty sure we have all the ingredients." Then he disappears into the bathroom. I roll over onto his side of the bed and feel his lingering body heat soak into me. I lay my head on his pillow and inhale his scent. I lie here thinking of how much I love him for a few minutes before dragging myself out of bed and heading downstairs.

I gather the ingredients for the pancakes and start making our breakfast. By the time he comes downstairs, fully dressed and ready to go, I have a plate full of crispy, thick cut bacon and golden brown blueberry pancakes waiting for him along with a tall glass of milk. I even took the time to warm the maple syrup. He takes a pain pill then sits at his normal seat at the island and has breakfast. I eat faster than I should but each bite is better than the last then I head upstairs to get ready for the day. I shower quickly, wanting to get our business out of the way. I throw my hair into a low ponytail at the nape of my neck, put on my normal makeup, and dress in black boot cut jeans, a black V-neck sweater, and black fur-lined ankle boots. Before going back downstairs I remember to grab my crutches since we'll be taking a long walk. I meet him at the door, and we start toward the infirmary.

We take our time along the maze-like stone path that snakes its way down to the Pit. It takes us longer than normal to get to the infirmary but we don't mind, we're together. We decide to get an update from Dr. Parrish on John Doe's condition before we try to talk to the man who attacked Tobias. He asks the intake nurse, who doesn't look happy to see us, to page the doctor. She seems to be on duty every time we need to speak with him. He must not be busy because he comes to the desk to greet us almost immediately.

"Four, Tris. Good morning. I take it you're here to see our patient," he says. "Or have either or you had a setback in your conditions?"

"We're both fine, thanks for asking," Tobias says politely. "Can we go somewhere private and talk before Tris and I go in to see the prisoner?"

"Of course," Dr. Parrish says, then turns his attention to the intake nurse who I catch scowling at Tobias and me. "Erin, will you please hold all calls for me unless there's an emergency?"

"Yes, doctor," she says. She has a harsh, nasally voice, which grates my ears, and I flinch away from it unintentionally. Tobias puts his hand on the small of my back, and we follow Dr. Parrish through the double doors and down a network of hallways until we reach a small unmarked door that leads to a very comfortable-looking office. It's a larger room than I'm expecting. The far wall is lined with heavy built-in shelves that have been painted a glossy bright white to match the walls. They are filled with the most books I've ever seen in one place outside of the school library. In front of the shelves is a large dark cherry desk and matching desk chair, which is piled high with paperwork and additional books opened to various pages depicting medical procedures and conditions. In front of the desk are two very expensive looking black leather wingback chairs, and on the left wall is a matching black leather couch. Dr. Parrish motions to the chairs, indicating that we should sit down.

"What can I do for you?" he says, settling in behind his desk.

"Have you learned anything new about our _guests_?" Tobias asks.

"I'm afraid that I haven't. Everything I know about either of them is in the files I gave you yesterday morning."

"Dr. Parrish, I have a question about DNA. Please don't be technical in your answer, or I'll never be able to understand but can relatives have the same DNA?"

"Every person has their own individual DNA. The only exception to this rule is identical multiple births: twins, triplets, etc. Each person gets half their DNA from their mother and the other half from their father. That being said, relatives can have similar DNA depending on how close of relation they are. Why are you asking about DNA, Tris?"

"What we're about to tell you cannot leave this room, Doc," Tobias says. Dr. Parrish nods. "We've found a suspect in the assaults. He's not an active Dauntless member. He's an Erudite member. He left us when he was 16."

"Okay. So you have a relative who still lives here in Dauntless whose DNA you want checked to see if it matches our known sample to see if this suspect is our attacker. Is that correct?"

"Yes, it is. How long will the test results take to come back?" Tobias says.

"It will take longer than the basic DNA test. It's more complicated. If I had a sample right now, I could have the result to you by tomorrow night at the latest," he says. "Do you have a sample?"

"I want you to test me," I say. He looks stunned by this.

"But you're a transfer, Tris? How would you have relatives here?"

"I found out a short time ago that my mom was born here, and I have an uncle, aunt, and cousin who still live here. As a matter of fact my uncle is the one who pulled me up to safety the night of my accident."

"Wow! That is quite a story. You don't hear about transfers finding family members in their new faction. That is truly amazing."

"Maybe you know him. You two seem to be about the same age. His name is Nathan Wright," I say, readying myself for his reaction. His head pops up and his mouth hangs open for a moment before he collects himself. He studies me for a long moment.

"Are you Natalie's daughter?" he asks. This surprises me. I guess I didn't think about him remembering my mother. "Yes, I can see it now."

"Yeah, my mom is Natalie," I say, unable to hide my surprise. "So how do you know my family?"

"Nathan, Asher, my brother, and I were best friends for quite a lot of years. I really don't know how it happened but over the past 10 years or so Nathan and I have grown apart. Even though we are both Dauntless members, we lead very different lives. If I'm not here at the infirmary, I'm with my wife and children, and I've lost touch with him. Wait a minute. Is _Cameron_ your suspect?"

"I would really like to keep that information private at this time," Tobias says.

"Of course, I understand," he says. He picks up a phone and hits a few buttons then asks someone on the other end to bring a DNA kit to his office. A few minutes later Isobel comes into the room. She must be filling in again.

"Well, I keep running into you, Tris," she says. "Dr. Parrish, who needs the swab?"

"Tris," he says. She opens a sealed package and tells me to open my mouth. I do and she runs the swab all around my cheeks and then puts the swab in a long tube and shuts it. She writes my name on a little sticker and seals the tube with it.

"It was nice to see you again, Tris, Four," Isobel says. She takes the swab and leaves the room with it.

"I'll call you when I have the results, Four. Is there anything else I can help you with?"

"If you could show us where the prisoner is, I would appreciate it," Tobias says. Dr. Parrish leads us back the way we came, making so many turns I'm sure I could easily get lost down here and never be seen again. I never thought of the infirmary as being a large place but after maneuvering this labyrinth not once but twice today I think it must actually be enormous. He finally shows us to a room that has a Dauntless security officer standing guard. Tobias tells the guard to take a 15 minute break and thanks Dr. Parrish for everything, then we go into the stranger's room.

Lying in a narrow hospital bed in the middle of the cold, sterile room is a blonde-haired badly battered young man handcuffed to the bed railing, who doesn't look any older than Tobias. He has a hard look in his dark gray eyes, and when he sees us enter the room, they turn steely black, filled with hate. I don't need to ask what's going through his mind right now, it is clearly written on his face. I look up at Tobias and see his look mirrors that of the prisoner.

"Tell me your name and what faction you belong to," Tobias says in his hard, demanding Four voice. The man just looks at the floor and says nothing. "You do realize you attacked a leader of Dauntless. That is a charge we don't take lightly around here. Also since your accomplice was killed during the commission of this crime _you_ are going to be charged with his murder." The blond-haired man's composure slips for a moment, indicating to me that the dead man is someone close to him.

"Who was he to you?" I ask, more gently than I thought possible. This monster's intent the night of the attack was to kill. I have no compassion for him, but we need answers, so if feigning empathy gets us what we're looking for, this is the part I will play. "Did he mean something to you? Was he your best friend, mentor, brother perhaps?" With that a tear slides down his face.

"I'll be right back," Tobias says in my ear. I watch him leave the room then turn my attention back to the prisoner.

"What's your name?" I ask. He looks at me, tears swimming in his eyes. The look on his face is wavering between hatred and agony. Finally the agony wins out.

"My name is Jason," he says. "That is _all_ I'm going to tell you."

"Why did you attack Four, Jason? Help us to understand. You don't look like a bad guy," I say. Acid churns up in my stomach while telling this lie. He may not _look_ like a bad guy but he is. "You obviously don't belong here. Why get dressed in black and come to Dauntless to hurt people? We're trying to change the image of this faction, and you and your friends are not making it easy by attacking and provoking us for no apparent reason."

"No reason?!" he shouts. "You helped Abnegation, the traitor faction. It should be destroyed. _You_ should be destroyed. We were so close to having our plan go off without a hitch then you and your turncoat _brother_ had to stick your noses in where they don't belong. Damn Divergents." Panic starts to course through my veins. They know I'm Divergent. They know about Caleb's involvement in the takedown of the Erudite and Dauntless leaders. Dad said he was safe, but that obviously isn't true. I take a couple deep breathes trying to calm myself. I can't let my anxiety show right now.

"You're Erudite," I say. It isn't a question, it's a statement. He just made his faction abundantly clear without actually coming straight out and saying it. He glares at me again, realizing his mistake. I imagine I've gotten everything out of him I'm going to but I push on. "Why do you hate Abnegation so much, and what in the world does any of this have to do with Divergents or Dauntless for that fact? I don't understand." I've heard the expression if looks could kill many times in my young life but I honestly believe this is the first time I've ever seen it firsthand. I believe this total stranger would like nothing better than to take my life.

"What's your friend's name, Jason? Don't you think someone is missing him right now, wondering where he is? Would you like for us to contact someone on his behalf? If my son was lying in a morgue in a strange place across the city _I_ would want to know." He lowers his head, and soon I see his shoulders shaking with silent sobs. I think the young man in the morgue is more than just a friend to Jason. "How do I get in touch with your parents? Don't you think they would want to know about your brother?"

"You don't know anything about me," he shrieks, "and don't talk about Jared like you knew him either or what our family would want. They're going to hate you for what you've done to us, taking their children away from them." Tobias comes back into the room just as I lose it.

" _I_ haven't done anything wrong, Jason," I say, trying to remain calm. " _I_ didn't dress myself in another factions colors, slink through their hallways, and assault total strangers ... _kill_ total strangers. _I_ was not manipulated into thinking everything my faction says and does is the absolute gospel truth. You cannot blame others for your actions. You have to take responsibility for yourself and _your_ decisions. I don't know who filled your head with such lies about Abnegation and Dauntless, but they are partially responsible for what you're going through right now. Not Dauntless, not Abnegation, not me, and certainly not Four. Now, would you like to tell me who you are working with so they can be held accountable?" Tobias has a shocked look on his face, not fully understanding my rant. I hold my breath hoping Jason will take the bait. He glares at me for a solid minute before he looks away, and I have his answer. I lost him. "I'm sorry you feel that way, Jason. As soon as you are able, you'll be transferred to a jail cell until your trial. We _will_ figure out who's behind this, and they _will_ be sitting in a cell next to you very soon." I storm out into the hallway and down the corridor, Tobias close on my heels. "Damn it!" A frustrated scream escapes my mouth as I bury my face in my hands when I reach the empty waiting room. I look up into Tobias' concerned eyes. "I lost him. For just a moment I thought he was going to open up and tell me everything he knew but I lost my temper, and I lost him." I flop into a chair and put my head in my hands.

"You obviously got him to talk, which is a hell of a lot more than I could do," he says running his hand up and down my back. "What did you learn?"

"His name is Jason. The dead guy is his brother. His name was Jared. They're from Erudite. This _is_ about what we thought it was about and so much more. I believe it's about Erudite's vendetta against Abnegation. They view Dauntless as the enemy since we stopped their attack. One more thing, Four," I say, looking around the empty room. Then I lower my voice and continue, "they know about my and Caleb's involvement in the takedown of Jeanine Matthews and the Dauntless leaders. I have no idea how, but they know. I have to warn Caleb to be careful. Also, I think _I_ was their target the night before last, not you." He stares at me like he is in awe.

"How did you get him to talk to you?" he asks.

"Apparently, all you have to do is piss him off then he screams at you ... loudly," I say suddenly mentally exhausted. "I'm tired, Four. Can we go home?"

"Of course. I guess I don't need to have Dr. Parrish do the sibling test on them now. That's why I left when you were talking to him. I'm glad I did though, maybe he wouldn't have given up so much information if I'd been there."

"I would let him continue with the test. It would be nice to have DNA confirmation they are in fact brothers." We walk slowly back to our apartment aware of every person who passes us. When we finally reach our apartment I feel like I'm running on empty. I collapse on to the couch and immediately close my eyes. I feel Tobias lift me up into his strong arms as I drift off to sleep.


	48. Chapter 48

The soft sway of the green meadow's tall yellow, white, and purple flowers in the early summer wind catches my attention. I've never seen anything so beautiful in my entire life. I slowly walk across the rolling hills, my long golden blonde hair blowing across my face in the balmy breeze. When I reach my destination, I lie down on the sun-warmed earth surrounded by the fragrant blooms, my white dress fanning out around me. I turn my head to see a beautiful monarch butterfly land on one of the white blossoms near me. I watch as its graceful wings flutter gently, then it takes off. It floats on the gentle breeze for a moment then lands on my hand, which is casually lying across my flat stomach. I feel a light tickling sensation as it flaps its wings ever so slightly. It takes off again landing on the largest of my ravens, tickling again. The lone butterfly is soon joined by several others of various size and color. They are landing all over my body and then taking off, causing a delightful sensation. As a large butterfly flutters across my lips, I let out a sigh and close my eyes.

When I finally open my eyes, Tobias is looking down at me, lightly running his callused fingertips across the ravens that fly across my collarbone and then down my sweater-covered arm. I look around, confused, and then realize the scene in the meadow with all the butterflies was just a lovely dream. I smile up at Tobias, and he returns my grin and slowly lowers his mouth to mine, kissing me tenderly. He pulls back after a moment, passion clouding his dark blue eyes. I reach up and run my hands through his dark curls, pulling his mouth back to mine, starved for the taste of his kiss. He breaks our contact once again and with one swift motion pulls the quilt and top sheet that are covering us off onto the floor. I leisurely move my hands down from his hair and slide them under the hem of his tight black t-shirt and glide them over his bare back. He leans up a little, and I easily pull his shirt off over his head. His hungry mouth lands on mine, and I nibble on his bottom lip teasing him while I run my hands all over his sculpted naked back.

He rolls us over so I'm lying on top of him. I sit up and look down into his dark soulful eyes. I take in every inch of his bare chest following my eyes with my purposeful hands. His breathing increases, and the muscles in his already rigid stomach tighten under my touch. I grip the hem of my black sweater and slowly raise it up over my head and toss it to the floor. I look into his eyes then beckon him to me with a finger. He sits up so we're face-to-face. I place my arms on his shoulders, and he wraps his around my waist. I feel his hands on the small of my back, and we just gaze into each other's eyes for a moment savoring the closeness of the other. I feel his hands gradually slide up my back to my bra and expertly unhook it in one deft move. I lower my arms and let the lingerie slide off of my shoulders and down my arms, then I toss it away. I put my arms back around Tobias's neck and pull myself closer to him, savoring the feel of his naked skin on mine. I feel his mouth just below my left ear and a sudden little pull as he playfully bites me.

I push him back onto the bed and cover him with my body. I kiss him hard, plunging my tongue into his already open mouth. He moans causing a shiver to race down my spine. I break away gasping for much-needed air then start kissing my way down his neck, roaming my hands up and down his chiseled body. I kiss each collarbone then trail my way down his broad, muscled chest. I stop at his left nipple and playfully dart my tongue against it making him moan. I draw it into my mouth then circle the hardened bud with my tip of my tongue, nibble at it gently, and tease him mercilessly just like he does me. He grasps the back of my head in his vice-like grip and doesn't allow me to move away from him. I then turn my attention to his right nipple, flitting my tongue out against it then pulling him into my hot mouth teasing, circling, and biting. I graze my fingernails down his chest and across his hardened nipples eliciting another moan from deep within his throat as I kiss my way further down his tight abdomen. I place light butterfly kisses all around his bellybutton then dip my tongue into his navel, teasing.

I lean back and unbutton his jeans then unzip his fly feeling his rock hard bulge beneath my fingers. I slide them down his legs and toss them away. He's left only in his tiny boxer briefs, straining to be free. I lie down on the end of the bed next to his legs, and he gently raises up on his elbows watching me. My heart is hammering in my chest thinking about what it is I want to do next. I _need_ to know what he feels like. I raise my eyes to his as I timidly skim my hand over his hard length. His sharp intake of air excites me and urges me further than I've ever gone before. I run my right hand leisurely up every inch of his hard shaft feeling him through the protective barrier of his cotton underwear. I move my now trembling hands to the waistband of his boxer briefs, and he stops breathing all together. I once again meet his eyes as I lower his underwear. He lifts his hips allowing me to slide them off, exposing him to me. We both breathe in a ragged breath at the same time. I slowly drag my eyes from his and deliberately take in his perfect form causing a sigh to escape my lips and butterflies to dance in my stomach. He is still resting on his elbows, unsteady ragged breaths dragging in and out of his lungs. His stomach muscles are tight and taut, as are the muscles in his leg beneath my fingertips. I lightly run my hand up the hard contour of his thigh then move it up inch by inch until I slide it along his engorged manhood. I circle my hand around the base of his erection feeling him in my hand for the first time, and I hear his breath catch in his throat. He's very hard yet amazingly soft and pulsating with life. I glide my hand up and down his shaft a couple times amazed at the feel. When I look up at Tobias, want is filling his eyes.

I release him from my grip and crawl up beside him capturing his mouth with my own, kissing him greedily. He parts my lips with his own, and I suck on his tongue as soon as he thrusts it in my mouth. He groans and flips us over, not breaking the kiss. I feel his hand cover my aching breast, kneading and teasing my sensitive nipple, and once again I find myself gasping for air. He moves his mouth slowly to my neck running just the tip of his tongue lightly to its destination. He kisses below my left ear then runs his tongue up and into my ear. I feel every kiss between my thighs. I lie back feeling my heart rate increase, enjoying every touch. He slowly makes his way to my tender breasts, which are throbbing with need and covers me with his mouth. I arch my back as I feel him pull one nipple into his mouth, sucking and lapping gently. He runs his tongue around and around the aching bud making me squirm while his fingers play with my other nipple. I pull his head closer to me and writhe under him with lust. He turns his attention to my other breast, repeating every kiss, every lick, every motion.

I feel his hands move down and unbutton my jeans and lower the zipper. I try to sit up to help him take my pants off but he gently pushes me back on the bed. He releases my aching bud from his mouth and trails his tongue down my body placing sweet kisses here and there along my trembling flesh. He stops at my navel and kisses it like he does my mouth, pushing his tongue in and swirling it around. I feel every movement between my legs as the familiar pressure begin to build. It's absolutely amazing what he does to my body.

I feel his hands on the waistband of my jeans, and I raise my hips slightly to allow him to slide them off me. He throws them to the floor and immediately removes my panties and throws them on top of the jeans. He trails kisses along my hips and down both thighs. I can barely breathe when he dips his head between my outstretched legs, and I feel his tongue flutter out and lightly touch my nubbin. I let out a long raspy sigh as he kisses my womanhood and actually pushes his tongue inside me. I grasp the bed sheets with both hands as this new sensation moves through me. He is actually making love to me with his tongue, moving it in and out. Soon he moves his tongue to dance along my nubbin. As the pressure builds, my breath is coming quicker and quicker, and I tangle my fingers in his hair, keeping his mouth on me. He slowly enters one finger into my moist womanhood, thrusting it back and forth while keeping his talented tongue swirling and lapping. Soon he enters a second finger, picking up the pace and sucking my nubbin between his teeth and biting just a little. I can't hold back as I'm propelled to new heights. My eyes roll back in my head, every muscle tenses, and my toes curl as he brings me over the edge. I call out his name again and again as my body clenches down on his probing digits.

When I start to come down from the blissful heights he took me to, he's above me looking down into my eyes with a cocky grin on his face. I grab him and pull his mouth to mine, letting our tongues dance. I reach down between us and take him in my hand, stroking him a few times. I then position him at my entrance, and I moan as he sinks into me a few inches. I feel him pull his hips back and as he pushes back into me, I thrust my hips up to meet his, allowing him to slide all the way in. I gasp as I once again experience the fullness I've been craving. I wrap my arms around his neck and grip my legs tightly around his waist as he stays buried deeply within my stretching walls, unmoving, allowing me to get used to the fullness he creates. He kisses me tenderly, running his fingers through my hair, then caressing my face. He leans back and doesn't take his eyes off of mine as he pulls almost his entire length out of me then slides back in. Then he doesn't move again for another few seconds, driving me crazy. He moves his mouth down to my neck and starts kissing his way to my left ear as he begins a slow, deliberate pace. I hang onto him, moving my hips in harmonized rhythm with his. His mouth finds mine again, and he kisses me passionately as we move together as one. He laces his fingers with mine and holds our arms above my head as he quickens the pace further, my orgasm building to new heights. His mouth never leaves mine as our pace increases further like we're racing full steam ahead towards an invisible finish line. As I feel I'm about ready to barrel over the edge of a cliff, he thrusts impossibly harder and faster and deeper into me causing my entire body to spasm and shudder uncontrollably with pleasure, and I feel him releasing himself into me. He thrusts a couple more times, emptying himself totally then collapses on top of me, still holding our hands above my head. Soon he releases me but I just let my arms stay where they are, totally exhausted, letting my heartbeat return to normal. After a few minutes, his manhood slides out of me and he rolls onto his back, lying next to me. I roll onto my stomach, leaning up on my elbows, and look at him.

"How's your head and chest? Are you okay?" I ask as I kiss his shoulder, not wanting him to be in any pain. He puts his arms behind his head and turns to look at me.

"I feel great. You're the only medicine I need," he says, and I roll my eyes at him. He just grins a goofy grin, and it makes my heart skip a beat. I love it when he's so happy. "Are you hungry, love?" Love? It's the first time he's called me something other than Tris, Beatrice, or Six and I love it.

"I'm starving but I'm not ready to get out of bed yet," I say, running my hand lightly up and down his hard chest. His eyes glaze over as my hand dips lower towards his resting length. He catches my hand with his and raises it to his lips, kissing it softly.

"When you touched me, I almost came," he says quietly. "I wasn't expecting you to do that."

"I wanted … no, I _needed_ to know how you felt," I say after taking a couple deep breaths, calming the rising anxiety. "I love how you feel when you're inside me, Tobias. I wanted to know how you felt when I touched you."

"And?" he prompts, letting the unasked question hang in the air.

"You were hard, very hard but also velvety soft, pulsating with life. I wasn't expecting that but I'm not sure what I was expecting," I say shyly, ducking my head into his chest. "I liked it. It turned me on even more."

"I love you so much but you know that," he says lovingly in my ear.

"It's nice to hear it anyway," I say looking in his dark blue eyes, getting momentarily lost until his stomach growls. We laugh together, and then he kisses me. He slides out of bed, pulls on his jeans, and tosses me my underwear. As I slide into my black lacy boy shorts, he goes to the drawer to get his old t-shirt, which he likes to see me in after we make love. He hands it to me, and I draw it on over my head.

He gently takes my hand in his and leads me down to the kitchen. He unexpectedly sweeps me up into his muscular arms, kissing me tenderly, then sits me on the island facing into the kitchen and starts gathering ingredients, utensils, cutting boards, and a pot to make us spicy sausage potato soup. My hungry eyes follow him as he easily maneuvers around the kitchen peeling, slicing, dicing, opening, heating, mixing, stirring, and soon I feel the familiar tightening in my stomach. I don't know what's happening to me but I'm getting extremely turned on right now just by watching him make a simple meal.

I sit on the island turning ideas over and over in my head while my eyes follow him around. I want him and I want him _now_. I don't want to wait and I don't want to go back upstairs. I want something different. My heart is soon hammering so loudly in my chest I'm sure he'll hear and turn to investigate. I decide to be brave and show him what I want. I silently jump down off the island and saunter over to him. I slide my hands around his waist and run my hands over his rock hard abs and feel them tighten further under my touch. I place my lips on his Dauntless tattoo and reach forward to turn the heat off from under the soup. He turns in my arms and looks at me, ready to object, when he sees the storm brewing in my cloudy eyes. Without a word, I quickly pull his mouth to mine and kiss him greedily until we are breathless. I back away from him and take him firmly by the hand, leading him to the living room. I gently push him back onto the couch and follow him onto his lap, straddling his hips.

I boldly take the oversized black t-shirt I'm wearing slowly off over my head and toss it to the floor. I watch as his eyes glaze over with lust. He reaches up to touch me but I hold his hands at his side and slowly shake my head no. I then move my mouth back to his, letting our lips move together tenderly. My tongue coaxes his lips open, and I slide my tongue into his willing mouth and explore every sweet inch. As the passion builds, the kiss becomes almost brutal with need. I finally relent and let his hands free. He immediately covers my bare breasts with his callused hands, kneading, squeezing, caressing. He's not being as gentle as he normally is in his desire-filled state but he isn't hurting me. He grazes my nipples with his thumbnails, and they stand at attention beckoning his mouth, and he does _not_ disappoint. With his hands firmly on the small of my back, he leans me back letting his hot, wet mouth first land on my right breast, licking, biting and teasing my aching, sensitive bud then he moves to the left, repeating the sweet torture. He continues his attention on my tender breasts until I shudder in his arms as sheer lust travels through me. I lean myself forward so I can move my hands to his jeans. I unbutton the button and together Tobias and I slide his pants down and off without me ever getting off his lap. I move sideways, and we manage to slide my panties off then I straddle his naked lap.

His hungry mouth lands on mine, his tongue darting in and out. I hold myself close to him, feeling every hard muscle of his chest, stomach, and thighs. When we break away breathless, I raise myself with my knees and grasp his manhood with my hand. I glide my fist up and down his shaft a couple times then move him toward my entrance. I slowly lower myself onto every rock hard, pulsating inch of him. I let my head roll back as Tobias fills me, and his lips find the sensitive skin at the hollow beneath my throat, sucking gently. I let myself drop down until I've taken all of him deep inside of me. We don't move for a solid minute getting used to the feeling of this new position. It seems deeper this way. I put my hands on either side of Tobias' face and kiss him roughly. When I pull back, I lower my hands to rest on his shoulders and look into his desire-filled almost black eyes. Never once taking my eyes off of his, I use my legs to raise myself until he almost slides out of me then I let myself fall until he is fully seated again. I wait a few seconds then repeat the move. After a few thrusts I set a slow, steady in-and-out pace letting myself rise and fall on him. He rests his hands on my hips, helping me raise and lower myself on his hard length. When I feel the sweet pressure start to build, I quicken the pace. He starts thrusting upward every time I force myself down, causing a guttural moan to escape my lips.

Tobias grabs tight to my hips and drops to his knees. Suddenly I'm on my back on the floor, and he is thrusting into me hard and fast, causing the pressure to rise at an alarming rate. I can barely catch my breath as I raise my hips to meet each one of his frenzied thrusts. He reaches between our bodies and starts to rub my throbbing nubbin with his thumb. He keeps up this frantic pace until I can't take anymore. I scream his name as a wave of pleasure crashes over me so hard I think I might drown before I surface. He keeps up the furious pace as he empties into me, still circling my nubbin with his thumb as I ride wave after wave of pure pleasure. Soon he slows the pace then stops all together, collapsing on top of me, and I once again welcome his weight. I cling to him, willing my heart to stop hammering in my chest. After a few minutes, Tobias leans up over me with a curious look on his face. I close my eyes for a moment, heat rising up into my cheeks, then open them to shyly look into his loving eyes.

"I got turned on watching you cook supper, and I ... couldn't ... wait, Tobias. I wanted you ... desperately," I say, barely above a whisper. "I didn't think you'd mind waiting for supper for just a little while longer."

"You're absolutely right about that," he says with a laugh, lowering his lips to mine. He kisses me softly, sweetly. We part when we're both once again breathless.

"I didn't say it earlier, but I love you, Tobias," I say, caressing his face and relishing the feel of him still buried deeply inside of me. "I think I've loved you since you helped me out of the net that first day. Thank you for loving me ... in _all_ the ways you love me. I don't know what I would do without you." He looks down at me with emotion-filled eyes, and his mouth lands on mine, kissing me passionately.

"You're never going to have to find out, Tris, because I'm yours and only yours, forever. _You_ are everything that I've ever wanted ... and thank _you_ for loving me," he says after we break apart. He starts to lower his mouth back to mine when his stomach grumbles again, and we can't help but laugh.

"I guess we better get back to making supper," I say, giggling. "I'll try not to rip your clothes off again while you finish the potato soup, but I can't make any promises."


	49. Chapter 49

Tobias, Tori, Will, and I all sit around the huge table in the conference room discussing what I've learned about our prisoner who's still recuperating in the infirmary. I tell Tori and Will that his name is Jason, he's from Erudite, and the dead man in our morgue is his brother, Jared. I also tell them Jason made it known he and whomever he's working with know about my and Caleb's involvement in stopping the war on Abnegation, and they are extremely angry about it. Will's eyes widen at my admission. I forgot he didn't know the entire story. I quickly relay what my mom wanted Caleb to do. I also let them know our attackers are in fact targeting Divergents, so more than likely all the names on that first list are Divergent but for some reason Erudite's obsession with taking down Abnegation seems to be at the heart of this matter. I also let it be known that even though he didn't come right out and say it, Jason implied Tobias' assault was actually meant for me.

Tobias, Tori, and Will tell me they have contacted a fourth of the names who are on the first list but no one recognized the sketches or Cameron's photo. They were told they were on the list, that individuals on the list have been assaulted and killed, and they were told to be extremely vigilant and notify any one of us if they're in need or are suspicious of someone. Now these individuals need to be interviewed again and shown Jason and Jared's pictures to see if they recognize either of them. Tobias made the decision not to notify them of the names on the second list who have been watching their every move. They were, however, told to watch their surroundings carefully, that someone might be following them around as was the case with Hana. They all indicated they understood and they would be careful. They weren't asked about divergence though because no one could figure out how to broach the sensitive subject.

Tobias tells us Dr. Parrish has given him the results of the additional DNA tests he requested, and my DNA is a familial match to one of our two unknown samples, indicating it more than likely belongs to Cameron Wright. We also have a familial DNA match between Jason and Jared, confirming they are in fact brothers. However, there's no familial match between the brothers or myself and the remaining unknown sample we have. Although we have a cache of new information, we still have no idea who's actually planning the attacks or why they act when they do.

"I think we need to talk about Peter and the faction ambassadors," I say. "I'm not sure exactly how, but he's messed up with those who are ordering the attacks and has been acting strangely. I would like to minimize any damage he might do."

"What do you have in mind?" Tori asks.

"I know it isn't fair to the other ambassadors but I want to assign a permanent faction to each of them instead of having them rotate every three months," I say. "I want to make sure Peter's exposure to Erudite is limited. The way it is right now, he can just walk into Erudite any time he wants, and I don't like it."

"How would we spin it to the others?" Tobias asks. "Ambassadors have rotated every three months for as long as I've been here."

"For as long as _I've_ been here," Tori adds.

"Four, let's talk to my dad today and get his opinion but my suggestion is we have the council vote to make permanent ambassadors that way it looks like we aren't the ones who made the decision to do this. Maybe the factions will like working with the same five individuals all the time."

"Where would we assign Peter?" Will asks.

"Amity," Tobias, Tori, and I all say at the same time, causing us to chuckle. I continue after the laughter dies down. "He can't be assigned to Candor because that's his born faction. We want to limit his exposure to Erudite. I don't trust him with Abnegation. That only leaves Amity. Maybe some of their happiness will rub off on him."

"I don't have a problem with it. Does anyone else?" Tobias says. Tori and Will shake their heads. "Who will we assign to Erudite? They seem to be the wild card faction at the moment."

"Uriah definitely. He can be on the lookout for Cameron. Maybe Ciara. I trust her. I really don't know the others. I've only had limited exposure to them over the past few months. I suggest you and Tori make the assignments," I say, addressing Tobias.

"I don't have a problem with that," Tori says. "Four?"

"We'll get to work on the assignments tomorrow if Tris' dad thinks it's a good idea," he says.

"How are the plans for the masquerade ball coming?" Tori asks, addressing me.

"To tell you the truth, I haven't talked to Christina about it for a while. We have plans after supper, I'm sure she'll fill me in then but considering how well she's done with the other parties, I'm sure everything is on schedule and speaking of a schedule, if Four and I don't get going to Abnegation, I won't be back on time for Christina, and I don't want her yelling at me."

"Yes, _I_ would appreciate that," Will says grinning. "If anyone upsets her, she takes it out on me. I know it's just the pregnancy hormones, but _damn_ that girl has a hell of a temper right now." We all laugh then go our separate ways.

After Tobias and I gather all the information requested by my dad, he gets the car and pulls up in front of the compound where I'm waiting for him. I slide into the warm car, and we make our way to Abnegation. We ride in comfortable silence. I can tell he's stressed about having to return to Abnegation so soon, and I can also tell he doesn't want to talk about it.

Soon he pulls up in front of a plain gray two-story office building, which serves as Abnegation's headquarters, and we get out of the car. Several Abnegation members notice our arrival and bow their heads in welcome. We just head into the building without acknowledging anyone. We take the familiar path to my dad's office, the one I took hundreds of times growing up, and I knock. My dad opens the door to us and invites us in. He takes our coats and hangs them on a small coat rack that hangs on his wall just inside the door. It's the only thing that adorns the light gray painted walls of his office.

"Beatrice, Four. It's nice to see you again. Please sit down," he says motioning to the plain office chairs that sit opposite his desk.

"It's nice to see you again, Mr. Prior," Tobias says sitting down. I smile brightly at my dad.

"Please, Four, call me Andrew," Dad says to Tobias, then he turns his attention to me. "Your mother will be joining us shortly. She believes she remembers where she saw Cameron when he was here dressed as an Abnegation member."

"Here's all the information we've gathered, Andrew," Tobias says, handing the file to my dad.

"We learned a little more about the two men who attacked Four Christmas night," I say. "Jason, the one who is still in our infirmary is from Erudite. The dead man in our morgue is his brother, Jared." I stop to calm my anxiety. I have to tell my dad about Caleb. "Dad, Erudite knows about Caleb's involvement in stopping the attack on Abnegation."

"What?" he says, worry crossing his face. "We were assured no one knew of his involvement or yours for that matter."

"The only way I could make Jason talk was to upset him and when I did, he said quite a bit. They know I asked Caleb to research the simulation serums and that it led to stopping the attack. He also called me a damn Divergent. He also hinted I was the one they were after when they assaulted Four." My dad sits staring at me.

"We have to find a way to warn Caleb. Did this Jason mention any other names?" he asks after he finds his voice again.

"No, just Caleb and me," I tell him. A knock on the door interrupts us. Before my dad can get up to answer it, the door swings opens, and my mom walks in followed by Marcus. My mom sits down on the small gray couch that's against the wall to the left of me. She has a sheepish look on her face.

"Someone told me my son was here but I didn't believe them. I thought I would see for myself," Marcus says, oozing fake charm.

"Four, Tris, and I are just finishing up some business," my dad says to Marcus.

"You could have come to me, Tobias," Marcus says. "I would have helped you." Tobias' expression hasn't changed since his father walked into the office. His Four mask is firmly in place not betraying his true feelings but both his hands are balled up into fists. He looks up at his father for a moment.

"Tris and I got the information we needed from her parents," Tobias says, his voice low, steady, and firm. "Thank you anyway." I'm amazed he's holding it together so well right now. The last time he saw his father he practically fell apart.

"I think I'll sit in on the rest of your meeting anyway," Marcus says addressing my dad. "I don't get to see my son often enough."

"That really isn't necessary," my dad says, knowing how uncomfortable everyone except for Marcus is right now. He seems to be thriving on the environment.

"It's okay, Andrew. He can stay," Tobias says, surprising me. I would have thought he would want him to leave as soon as possible.

"Alright then," my dad says. "Natalie, what did you have to share with Four and Tris?"

"I remember where it was that I saw Cameron, and it's not good. It was in a closed council session," she says, catching Marcus off guard. He obviously doesn't know what we're here to discuss.

"What's going on?" he asks, confused and suddenly concerned.

"Dauntless has been having some troubles with assaults and deaths," my dad says. "Tris found a suspect and came to her mom for some information." Before he can continue, Marcus interrupts.

"Why would you come to a member of Abnegation for assistance with Dauntless matters? That's not customary," he says to me. I have to remind myself to stay calm. I'm acting as a Dauntless leader right now, and I must put aside my personal feelings and show the top member of the council respect even though he doesn't deserve it. I look toward my mother, and she nods at me, encouraging me to continue.

"I think I should start at the beginning," I say to him. I tell Marcus a shortened version of what's been going on in Dauntless since Tobias and I took over. I tell him about the lists, assaults, and deaths but I leave out our suspicions that the names are Divergent. He doesn't need to know my secret. He nods every once in a while but he's mainly looking at Tobias who's sitting in the chair with his eyes on me. "On Christmas night, Four was assaulted on the path in Dauntless. Two men attacked him. One of the men is in our infirmary right now, and the other is in the morgue. While he was recuperating, I went through some Dauntless files, and I found a match to one of the sketches that were provided to us by a witness."

"Are you alright, Tobias? How badly were you hurt?" Marcus asks, actual concern in his voice. I wonder where this concern was when he was beating him as a child. Tobias raises his nearly black eyes to his father. I'm sure the exact same thing is running through his mind.

"I'm fine. It was nothing," he says. I know better than that, and my heart constricts. He could have died. After it has been quiet a moment I continue.

"The person in the file, who matches the sketch of one of the killers, is my cousin named Cameron Wright. He was born in Dauntless and transferred to Erudite when he was 16. He's the oldest son of my mother's older brother. I just recently found out my mom was Dauntless born, and I have family there." Marcus studies my mom like he's seeing her for the very first time. I don't like him looking at her. "When I saw Cameron was a match to our sketch, I needed to talk to my mom about her brother and see if she could give me any helpful information about him and Cameron. I believe she did, but Four and I are planning a supper with Nathan and his family soon to see what information we can gather from them. Also, one thing about the two that attacked Four, they were both from Erudite. The survivor indicated to me this is partially in retribution for stopping the war on Abnegation and whoever is doing all this knows that Caleb and I helped stop it. They're not happy with us."

"When Four and Tris showed me the sketch of Cameron I almost fell out of my chair. Immediately I knew I had seen him sometime not long ago dressed in Abnegation clothing but I couldn't remember where. Last night it came to me," my mom says, wringing her hands nervously, which is out of character for her. I've never seen her nervous in my entire life. My dad gets up from his desk and sits on the small couch next to her putting his arm around her. She looks up and smiles at him, relaxing. I can't believe my eyes. This is so unlike any behavior I've seen from them in the past. "Your father forgot his lunch the day of the last closed council session so I thought I would drop it off to him before I went to the soup kitchen to serve meals to the factionless. I saw Cameron sitting in the back of the hall where the meeting was getting ready to take place. I know it was him. He looked up at me, and there was instant recognition but I dismissed it because I know so many of the council members and their families. I'm sorry. I wish I would have known so I could have notified someone."

"We know now," my dad says. Everyone is quiet for a while. "I have to go get Jonah and Matthew. Marcus, we need to have a meeting as soon as we're done here. I'll be right back. Natalie?" He holds his hand out to her, and she takes it. I can't believe the changes I've seen in my parents since I'm no longer a dependent. They leave us alone with Tobias' father. I really wish they would have taken him with them. Hopefully he'll just stay quiet.

"Tobias, it's nice to see you," Marcus says, showing no emotion. No such luck about staying quiet.

"I wish I could say the same thing," Tobias says looking him directly in the eye, his Four mask disappearing. He's angry. "I would have loved nothing more than to never see your face ever again."

"You ungrateful little ..." he starts to say but I get in his face.

"Don't you dare speak to Four like that. You don't even know him." Tobias gets out of his chair and puts his hands on my shoulders.

"Does she always fight your battles for you, _Tobias_? I don't know why you insist on using that idiotic nickname. Four is a _number_ not a name." I've had it by now. I try to take a step forward but Tobias keeps me firmly rooted in place with his hands. I quickly realize he's more afraid of what _he_ will do to his father if he lets me go than of the damage I will do if I get my hands on him.

"It's a name that was given to me by a man who valued me as a person and never once disrespected me. I learned more from him in the short time I knew him than I learned from you in 16 years. I'll proudly wear the name Four for the rest of my life." This leaves Marcus speechless, and I can't help but smirk at him. Slowly his calm facade falls away, and I see the real Marcus, the one from Tobias' fear landscape. Tobias' fingers clamp down even harder on my shoulders, but I don't react to the pain. There will be bruises there later I'm sure.

"I still don't understand where I went wrong with you. I did my best trying to make you into a man but it was never enough. You are _such_ a disappointment," he says, a scowl on his face, shaking his head.

"You don't _understand_?" I yell at him, unable to hide my revulsion. "I understand you are a sadistic son of a bitch. I've seen the marks you left behind. If you think that's how you raise a child I'm glad you never got the chance to ruin another childhood. One was too many."

"Tris, don't," Tobias says calmly.

"I bet she's a real wildcat in the sack, Tobias. You picked a real good one here son. In that at least I'm proud of you," he says with an evil leer on his face looking me up and down. I suddenly feel the need for a shower. I lunge at him but feel Tobias' arms wrap tightly around my waist and pull me back to him.

"What's going on here?" my angrily dad asks. I knew I shouldn't have let my temper get out of control but Marcus is very good at pushing all my buttons, and he knows it.

"I'm so sorry, Dad..." is all I get out before Marcus interrupts me.

"Beatrice and I are just having a little misunderstanding," Marcus jovially says, looking over his shoulder at my dad. My mom is standing beside my dad with a murderous look on her face and Jonah and Matthew are absolutely stunned. My mom takes two giant steps forward and slaps Marcus across the face, leaving a bright red hand print on his cheek. Confusion crosses his face as he covers his cheek with his hand.

"I heard the revolting things you just said to your son about my daughter," she whispers between clenched teeth.


	50. Chapter 50

I stand in the protective circle of Tobias' arms in the middle of my dad's office in Abnegation watching my mom slap Marcus across the face, and I finally feel vindicated. I wonder how Tobias is feeling. Even though Mom, Dad, and two high ranking members of Abnegation just heard the vile statements that came out of Marcus' mouth about me, I can't stop a smile from stretching across my lips. I'm sure I look slightly deranged at the moment but I can't hide my happiness and I won't. Others have finally seen the _real_ Marcus Eaton.

"I don't know what you are talking about, Natalie," he says, his voice once again dripping with charm. My dad steps forward and gets in Marcus' face. I've never seen him as angry as he is in this moment in my entire life.

"We _all_ heard what you said to Tobias. Don't think we are fools. I would like you to leave my office immediately. You are no longer welcome here," my dad says to him.

" _I_ am a council member. You can't make me leave," he says.

"When we vote you off the council, we can make you leave, and we _are_ going to vote you out. The likes of you are not welcome here," Jonah says. "And don't forget, you can also be made factionless so _don't_ push us."

" _Leave_. Now," Matthew says, pointing toward the door.

"This is all your doing, you little … _slut_ ," Marcus says, taking a step toward me with a vicious glare on his face. My parents both gasp at his words, and I feel Tobias further tense behind me.

"Don't you _dare_ say another word to her," he says, in a very frightening tone I've never heard come out of his mouth before. He hasn't moved. He is still holding _me_ back. "I swear if you say one more thing, _Dad_ , I will show you _exactly_ what it is you taught me so well growing up."

"You deserve my worthless son," Marcus says, never once taking his filthy stare off of me. I know he means the statement to feel like a slap across my face but it doesn't, it actually has the opposite effect on me.

"This is not my fault. Not by a long shot. This situation is 100% _your_ making," I say calmly. I finally break out of the cage Tobias' arms made around me and take the two steps forward to close the gap between Marcus and me. I stand in front of him, looking into his hateful eyes, and glare back at him. "If you had been a better father to Four none of this would be happening right now but instead of taking responsibility for _your_ actions and apologizing for what a crappy father you've been _you_ decide to be an ass and blame everyone but yourself. You have done everything in your power to break him but look at him." I point at Tobias. " _Look_ at him. He is _not_ broken. He is the strongest man I know. You did _not_ win. You will _never_ win."

"That's enough, Tris," Tobias says with an edge to his voice putting his hands back on my shoulders. "Andrew, we still have business to take care of. May we continue?"

"Of course, Four," my dad says. "Matthew and Jonah, will you escort Marcus out of the building? Also please call for an emergency council meeting. We have much to discuss. I'll join you in the council chambers as soon as we're finished here. Thank you." As they leave the room, Marcus glaring at me the entire time, Tobias and I sit back down in the chairs across from my dad's desk. My mom returns to her seat on the small couch and doesn't take her eyes off of me. "I need to say something, Tobias, and before you censure me for using your given name I really need to speak directly to Tobias and not Four."

"Okay," Tobias says slowly. "I'm listening."

"I would like to apologize to you for not believing the Erudite reports about your father. I've thought very ill of you for quite some time, and you did not deserve that. He had me fooled, and for _that_ I'm ashamed. Actually, he's had everyone fooled but not after what we just witnessed. He is not the type of person who should be representing Abnegation and helping to make the laws by which we all live. He _will_ be removed from the council and made factionless."

"I don't want that," he says, actually _sounding_ like Tobias. "Removing him from the council will be punishment enough. You don't have to make him factionless." He pauses for a long moment before continuing. "You see, Andrew, I don't love my father, but no matter how hard I try I can't make myself hate him either. Making him factionless seems like revenge to me, and I don't want that. I don't think I could live with myself if I allowed it." My dad stares at Tobias before he gets up from his desk and stands before him.

"I had my doubts about you dating my daughter, and I made that abundantly clear to you. I didn't think you were good enough for her, and I thought you were a terrible influence. I'm sorry about that also. I now see that you _are_ the man she thinks you are." My dad reaches his hand out and Tobias takes it, and they shake hands. Then my dad looks at both of us. "I'm glad you found each other. I know you don't need it, but you both have my blessing."

"Thank you, sir. That means a lot," Tobias says.

"Thanks, Dad," I say as he returns to his desk and sits down.

"Tell me, Four," he says with a smile, "what else can I do for you?"

"Actually, I have a question about the faction ambassadors," I say. "Do we have the authority to assign permanent factions to the ambassadors instead of having them rotate every three months, or do we need permission from the council?"

"You want to do away with the rotation? I'm glad to hear that," he says, surprising me. I thought I would have a fight getting this idea passed by the council. "We've been trying for years to get the faction ambassadors to have permanent assignments but the old Dauntless leaders wouldn't hear of it. We've had some complaints over the years, not too many mind you but enough to concern us, about some of the ambassadors showing preferential treatment to factions."

"Do you have a list of these incidents?" Tobias asks in Four mode once again.

"I do. I'll get the list to you before you leave. Why the change now?" he asks, writing a note to himself to gather the files for us. I'm not sure I should tell them about Peter following me around. I don't want to worry them needlessly.

"One of our ambassadors is getting too friendly with Erudite," Tobias says. "We thought having him as far away from their influence as possible would be helpful."

"Do you think he's a plant?" my dad asks, remembering that four of our five previous leaders were all Erudite spies.

"No. He transferred from Candor," I answer. "I'm confident he's not a plant. I'm glad we can make this change without getting the council's approval first."

"The council approved that change approximately three years ago I believe," my dad says. "The other council members will be happy to hear Dauntless has changed their mind. When you make the assignments, please have a list delivered to me. I would appreciate it."

"Tori and I will start working on it as soon as Tris and I get back to Dauntless," Tobias says. "Do you have any requests for your ambassadors?"

"They have all been very accommodating over the years except for one of your new ambassadors. I believe his name is Paul. No, Peter. I don't think he likes us much," my dad says.

"Has he done something wrong?" I ask my dad.

"No, it isn't anything like that. I just get the impression he doesn't like Abnegation much."

"He's going to be assigned to Amity," I say. "He won't be a problem for you anymore."

"Is he the source of this change?" Dad asks.

"Yes, he is," Tobias answers. "He's a ... problem child, so to speak. We've had trouble with him in the past. He's the poster child for what we're trying to change in Dauntless: Ruthless, cowardly, brutal, selfish, and egotistical just to name a few."

"I believe that's all we have for you right now, Dad," I say as Tobias and I get up. We have to stop by Erudite and notify them we have a member of theirs in our morgue and another in our infirmary. I also want to talk to Caleb and warn him that people know about his involvement in stopping the war. My mom gets up and pulls me to her and wraps her arms around me, running her hand through my hair.

"I'm so proud of you, Beatrice," she says in my ear, "for standing up to that ... man, if I can call him that. I could have killed him with my bare hands for saying those awful things about you."

"Don't listen to anything Marcus says, Mom," I say. "He's a hateful man who's very unhappy and only gets pleasure from tearing others down. I'm glad his true nature has finally been revealed, I'm only sorry that it's at Four's expense." She releases me and looks me in the eyes then looks toward Tobias, who's standing behind my right shoulder.

"You two take care of each other. If you need anything, anything at all, don't hesitate to let your father or me know."

"I love you, Mom," I say to her and then I look at my dad. "I love you, Dad." My dad walks up next to my mom and hands Tobias the file he promised us.

"Here's the information on the ambassadors," he says. "We love you too, honey. Please take care of our girl, Four."

"I will, sir," Tobias says, reaching out to shake my dad's hand. We head out of my dad's office and down to our car.

"Erudite next?" he asks in an odd tone, and I nod at him. He starts the car, and we leave Abnegation behind. After a few minutes of strained silence I feel Tobias' gaze on me, and I meet his concerned eyes. "I appreciate you standing up to Marcus for me but I wish you wouldn't have bothered."

"I'm confused. I thought you would be happy he no longer will be a council member, that if we have business in Abnegation you won't run into him," I say, furrowing my eyebrows.

"Tris, that isn't it. I'm extremely happy people finally know who he really is after all these years but he isn't going to just let this go. Didn't you hear him? He blames _you_ for losing his council seat and no one else," he says. "I'm worried about what he'll try to do to you. You may have just been a mild annoyance to him before, someone who he enjoyed toying with, but now there's no telling what he'll do." He takes a deep breath trying to calm himself, and I see his knuckles are white where he's gripping the steering wheel. "You just put _another_ target on your back. You know I can't live without you. You _have_ to be more careful."

"Are you mad at me, Tobias?" I ask incredulously.

"No, I'm not mad," he says grumpily.

"You look mad. You sound mad," I say under my breath. "I'm not sorry, and I'm not scared of him either. I can take care of myself."

"You should be," he yells, surprising me.

"You _want_ me to be scared of your father?" I ask, not believing what I'm hearing.

"No. Of course not. I don't _want_ you to be scared of anything ... _ever_ , Tris. You just need to be more careful," he says, trying to calm himself. "What you don't seem to grasp is just how dangerous that man is. Maybe that's my fault. I haven't told you everything. There are things that happened in that house I never wanted you to know ... I never wanted to talk about. He's a vile, evil man. Be careful of him. That is all I can say right now."

I didn't even notice we had made it to the Erudite sector until he pulls up to the old library building, which houses their headquarters, and parks the car. He shuffles some paperwork and places photos of Jason, Jared, and Cameron in a folder. Without a word, he gets out of the car and waits for me on the sidewalk. _This is going to be a lovely afternoon_. I take a few deep breathes trying to calm my increasing agitation then unbuckle my seatbelt and join Tobias on the sidewalk.

We silently walk into the tall building, and I smell the familiar aroma of dust-covered pages just like the first time I was here when I came to see Caleb and have him investigate the simulation serums. People are milling about, retrieving what it is they're looking for from the book-lined shelves that line the walls then sitting at the long tables that house more computers than I've ever seen. I notice the portrait of Jeanine Matthews has been replaced with a portrait of the symbol of their faction, the eye. That's kind of creepy. No one notices Tobias and me standing here so we finally approach a woman who's sitting at a glass and metal desk and ask to speak to Caleb Prior, the Erudite representative to the council. She asks my name, and I give it to her. She then gets on a telephone and makes a call. Within minutes Caleb and a woman with golden blonde hair who looks very familiar walks up to us.

"Tris," Caleb pleasantly says, "is this business or pleasure? Pleasure I hope."

"I'm afraid it's business, Caleb," I say. "This is Four, the leader of Dauntless and my boyfriend." They reach out and shake each other's hands as they size one another up. "Do you have someplace where we can speak in private?"

"Yes, I do. Cara will be joining us. I hope you don't mind," he says, motioning to the woman standing with him. I suddenly remember who she is, Will's sister. I threatened to punch her in the face the last time I saw her. "Cara this is my sister, Tris and her boyfriend, Four. They are Dauntless leaders." Cara narrows her eyes at me but finally reaches out and shakes our hands.

"We've met," she says. "She threatened to punch me in the face." I feel Tobias' stare on my face but I don't break eye contact with Cara.

"You were rude to my mother," I say. "Plus the newness of Dauntless was still coursing through my veins. I'm not as short tempered as I once was." I hear Tobias clear his throat. "I'm sorry, Four. This is Will's sister, Cara. We met on visitation day."

"Okay," he says, taking in their similarities including their golden blonde hair and the crease between their celery green eyes. "It's nice to meet you."

"Nice to meet you too, Four. Will told me a little about you on visitation day. He didn't mention you two were dating though."

"That's because we didn't start dating until after initiation was over," I say. It isn't entirely true but she doesn't need to know that. Will may be one of my best friends but I still have a strong urge to punch his sister in her pretty face. "Caleb, we have some important things to talk to you about that aren't privy to those outside the council."

"Cara is my backup on the council, so she can hear anything you have to say," Caleb says, sensing the building tension between Cara and me.

"Very well. Four and I will follow you," I tell him. We follow Caleb and Cara to a small casual conference room a few flights up. We settle in around a small oval glass top table and are served coffee and a platter of assorted cheeses, fruits, and crackers, which Tobias and I both partake in as neither one of us has eaten anything since breakfast, and it's approaching suppertime. I realize we're going to have to make this quick since I have an appointment in the Pit at 5:30.

"I hate to rush this, Caleb," I say, "but I have an appointment back in Dauntless in a little over an hour."

"First, we have an Erudite member in our morgue and another in our infirmary," Tobias says matter-of-factly. Caleb and Cara both gasp at the news. "They attacked me Christmas night. In defending myself, one of them was killed and the other was badly injured." He opens the folder and slides two pictures in front of Caleb and Cara. She covers her mouth with her hand as she takes in their pictures and gasps again. "Their names are Jason and Jared. They're brothers. I'm not expecting you to know either of them, but we need you to figure out who they are."

"Actually, I know this one," Cara says, pointing to Jason's picture with a trembling finger. "Jason was in my initiate class. I think his last name is Grant but we'll have to confirm that."

"Do you remember if he was born here or was a transfer?" I ask Cara.

"Erudite born," she says.

"Are their parents still here?" Tobias asks.

"I'm not sure. Jason never talked about anyone except his brother," she says. "Why did they attack you, Four, and where were you when this happened?"

"In the Dauntless compound on the path that leads in and out of the Pit. They were both dressed in black clothing to fit in and move around Dauntless uninhibited," Tobias says. "As to why, Jason indicated the attack was meant for Tris."

"Why?" Caleb asks, alarmed. I pause for a long moment, still not sure I can trust Cara. I look into her eyes and see Will. I decide to give her the benefit of the doubt. I tell Caleb and Cara the same shortened version of events I told Marcus just hours ago. They are stunned by the news.

"From what we've gathered so far, there are still members of Dauntless working with members of Erudite for two reasons. The first reason is they want to kill Divergents like Jeanine wanted. The second reason is _someone_ is angry the war on Abnegation was stopped."

"They don't know ..." Caleb says, not totally finishing his sentence.

"I'm afraid they do, Caleb," I say. "Jason told me."

"Knows what?" Cara says, looking at Caleb. Then she looks at me and adds, "Told you what?" I look at Caleb pleading with my eyes for him to read my mind. Can she be trusted with this sensitive information? He nods his head at me and looks at Cara.

"I trust her, Tris," he says. "Cara, Tris and I are the ones who stopped the war on Abnegation. I've been told from the beginning no one knows about our involvement." Something he says finally clicks, and it stuns me.

"But people _do_ know about our involvement, Caleb. The council members all know," I say, suddenly feeling sick to my stomach. "We need to make a list of _everyone_ who knows what we did. Mine is a reasonably short list: Mom, Dad, you, Four, and the Abnegation council."

"Will knows," Tobias says. "Didn't you tell Christina?"

"I forgot I told Will this morning," I say. "I had never told either of them before. That was the one detail I always left out of that story. What about you, Caleb?"

"The council members, Mom, Dad, you, Four, now Cara, and one other person here at Erudite I'm not at liberty to say." The mystery advisor. I wonder if this person is trustworthy.

"I'm not going to ask who that person is, Caleb, but you need to ask _yourself_ if you think he or she is trustworthy and didn't have any ulterior motives in stopping the war and getting Jeanine executed. Also we're going to have to investigate the council," I say.

"I'm not looking forward to that. Tris, do they know about the other person, the one who started all this?" Caleb asks, fear in his eyes.

"I don't think so. Jason only mentioned you and me specifically. If he had known, I'm sure he would have said something. I think they're safe, at least I hope they are," I say, careful not to give anything about her away. Mom had better be safe. Cara has a curious look on her face but I don't want to say our mom is the one who tipped me to having Caleb check into the simulation serum.

"I'm sorry Cara, but I'm not at liberty to say who the person is that asked Tris to have me look into the serums. I need to keep them safe. It seems like no one else really knows who it is."

"The council members know," I say, suddenly worried. I'm going to have to make a decision as to whether I go back to Abnegation to warn her or not. I need to talk to Tobias about that.

"We have one other matter to discuss," Tobias says. He slides Cameron's picture out of the folder, and Caleb and Cara both study it but neither of them seem to recognize it. "His name is Cameron Wright. He's a member of Erudite. He's one of the people who has been killing members of Dauntless. We have DNA evidence that links him." Tobias looks my way, and I continue the story.

"Caleb," I slowly say. "He's our cousin." Caleb's head snaps up, and he looks at me like I've lost my mind. "I honestly don't have time to get into the _entire_ story right now but Mom was born in Dauntless, and she left behind her mother and older brother, Nathan. I've met him, his wife, and younger son, Callen. To confirm Cameron is one of the killers, my DNA was compared to his, and there was a familial match. You need to find him so he can be arrested, interrogated, and tried for his crimes." I look toward the clock and realize if we leave right now, I will just have enough time to make it to the tattoo parlor for my appointment with Christina. "I'm really sorry, but we have to go. I have an appointment at 5:30 that I can't miss." I give Caleb a quick hug and reluctantly shake Cara's hand again. She asks me to tell Will hello, and I tell her I will gladly pass on her message.

Tobias and I hurry out of the library and get into the car. We drive back to Dauntless in silence. I'm too busy thinking about my mom and Caleb to notice if he's still angry with me or not. Tobias pulls up in front of the compound, and I turn and automatically give him a quick kiss. I tell him I'll meet him in the cafeteria and walk through the glass doors of the compound. When I get within a few feet of my office I almost run into a young girl holding a bouquet of white tulips in a sleek black vase.

"Oh, I'm sorry," I say to her, trying to move out of her way.

"Tris," she says, excited to see me. "I'm so glad I caught you. I'm looking for Four. Is he around? I have another delivery for him."

"Another vase of flowers?" I say, shaking my head and laughing. "I had totally forgotten about the other one."

"This is the third one I've delivered to him," she innocently says with a giggle. "I've never delivered so many flowers to a man before."


	51. Chapter 51

I look at the delivery girl with her long green braids, eyebrow piercing, and innocent face for a moment before I sign her tablet, add a point for a tip, and reluctantly take the black vase of white tulips out of her hands. I stand frozen in place in front of my office after she leaves me alone deciding exactly what I should do next. Tobias hasn't told me about any other flower deliveries, and I don't remember seeing this girl before so that means he's had at least four flower deliveries total from his secret admirer now, if it _is_ a secret admirer. I quickly unlock my office door and deposit the vase on the corner of my desk and pace back and forth. Anyone who walks by will be sure to see them. Suddenly I remember that Christina is waiting for me so I turn to leave but something stops me. I turn back to my desk, grab the card out of the bouquet, and head to the tattoo parlor.

By the time I reach the Pit, rage is freely flowing through my veins making my blood boil. I don't see anyone who passes me through my anger-clouded vision, and no one tries to say anything to me sensing my increasingly bad mood. I want to rip into this card so much but I know that would be a violation of our trust. Although, he hasn't told me about the other deliveries so I view _that_ as a violation of our trust. I really don't know what to do. When I walk into the tattoo parlor, Christina is leaning on the counter waiting for me. I glance at the clock on the far wall and see I'm right on time, and I let out a sigh of relief. At least she can't yell at me for being late.

"You ready?" she asks, eyeing me suspiciously.

"Yes," I say, trying to sound chipper but it comes out sounding slightly deranged. She looks at me even closer then moves around the corner of the counter and puts her arm around my shoulders.

"What's wrong, Tris? And don't say nothing because I know you well enough to tell when there's something upsetting you," she says. We walk to her tattoo station, and I sit in the reclining chair. I look around and notice we're alone.

"Four got another flower delivery today," I say. "I didn't think much of it until the delivery girl, whom I've never seen before in my life, let it slip that this was her third time delivering flowers to him. He never told me about any other deliveries, Christina. Do you think he's hiding something from me?"

"I don't know, Tris. I must admit it seems strange, why not tell you about them if he doesn't have anything to hide." I pull the card out of my pocket and turn it over and over in my hands. "What's that?"

"The card from the flowers," I say.

" _Read_ it," she urges me. "Then you'll know what's going on and if there is anything to worry about. Didn't he tell you the first card wasn't signed?"

"That's what he said but to be honest, I'm not sure he was telling me the truth. An odd look passed over his face so quickly when he told me it wasn't signed I thought I was imagining it," I say, the words running together. "Part of me really wants to open this card but the other half of me doesn't want to. I don't know what to do, Christina. I don't know how I feel right now, and I'm not sure I can get a tattoo that's supposed to represent him." She stares wide eyed at me. This is the first time I've really doubted him, and I can't believe I'm saying it out loud to another person. I sigh and she pulls her stool close.

"I'll read it for you if you want me to. I offered to do it the last time but you need to do what's best for you, Tris. _I_ would read that card. It might not be anything." She sits patiently looking at me. I drag my eyes from hers and look at the small plain white envelope that's laying in my hand. I finally tear into it and turn it over to read it. I lay it back down in my lap then pick it up and read it again making sure my brain is processing the words correctly. Pain spears through my heart, shattering it.

T

Usual spot.

Tonight.

Urgent.

Love you.

What does this mean? The card falls away, and I barely register the fact that Christina bends down to pick it up. I stare off in the distance through tear-filled eyes, not seeing anything. Who sent this? Whoever she is, she knows his name is Tobias. He told me I was the only one he shares his secrets with. How many other girls has he told the same thing to? Christina slides the little card back into the envelope and lays it in my hands, which are resting numbly in my lap. She sits next to me and lets me fall to pieces. I hear someone come up to Christina's station but she shoos them away.

"It's time to go to dinner, Tris. What do you want to do?" she quietly asks me after a while.

"I need to go home," I say, wiping my eyes. "I'm sorry, Christina. I'm going to have to cancel our shopping trip tonight. I doubt I even go to the masquerade ball."

"Do you want me to walk with you?" she says.

"No. I need some time to gather my thoughts. When you see Four in the cafeteria, would you please send him home? I'd appreciate it." I get up and give her a hug then turn and practically run out of the Pit. I manage to keep the tears at bay as anger once again builds replacing the despair. I stop by my office and grab the vase of flowers then head up to the apartment. I put the flower arrangement on the island and prop the envelope up against it, which has obviously been opened, so he will see it upon entering the apartment. I can't stop myself from pacing back and forth, dread slowly filling me. Soon I hear the door open. I realize I'm not ready to look at him, not yet.

"What's going on, Tris?" he says, anger clear in his voice. "Christina was very rude when she told me I needed to come home immediately." I spin around and glower at him.

"What is _this_ about, Tobias Eaton?" I say pointing to the vase of flowers and the obviously opened envelope. He looks at me incredulously.

"You _read_ the card?" he asks, disbelief coloring his voice. "How could you?"

"When another bouquet of flowers arrived I laughed at first until the delivery girl, whom I've never seen before, told me this was the _third_ delivery she's made to you. I got angry because you didn't tell me about the other deliveries. It made me think maybe you were hiding something from me. I guess I was right but I had no idea I would find a secret message for a clandestine meeting from someone who obviously knows your name is Tobias. Who is she, _Four_?" Jealousy threatens to tear out the last shards of my shattered heart. "Was the first card really unsigned or did you lie to me about that, too? I thought I caught a look for just a split second that morning indicating there was more to the card but I convinced myself I was imagining it? If I hadn't opened this card would you have lied to me again?" By this time I'm shouting at him, not able to hide my rage.

"Don't call me, Four," he says, his voice menacingly low. "I thought you trusted me."

"I did trust you until you lied to me." I'm still shouting at full volume, adrenaline-spiked blood pumping through my veins at an alarming rate. "Why should I trust you now?"

"Come with me," he shouts back, grabbing me around the wrist and pulling toward the door, "and I'll take you to meet her right now. I just want you to know, me not telling you about her has _nothing_ to do with you. I know it seems like a deception but it's not. I don't know how to deal with how I feel about her, so how do I bring you into that. My only crime here is lying to you about the first card. You're right. It said she wanted to meet. I ignored it and the other two deliveries. I would have ignored this one too if you wouldn't have stuck your nose in where it doesn't belong." He pulls me out into the hallway, down the stairs, and out the front of the building. I feel like a two year old having to run to keep up with a hurrying parent.

"Stop it, _Four_ ," I yell, grabbing my hand away from him and stopping.

"Damn it," he shouts for the entire city to hear. "I told you not to call me _Four_. You know I would rather have you call me Tobias."

"I'll call you Tobias when you are acting like Tobias," I scream. "Right now you're acting like _Four_. _Where_ are you taking me?"

"The train," he gruffly replies, finally lowering his voice. He grabs my wrist and pulls me behind him once again. "I'll help you jump on and off." Sure, he doesn't mind me ignoring doctor's orders to jump on and off a moving train but something that wouldn't put my life in danger is totally out of the question. He finally slows down when we reach the train platform. I rip my hand out of his grasp. When we see the front of the train, we both start running. He quickly jumps on and pulls me up after him trying to minimize any damage to my ankle. As soon as I am safely on the train, I move away from him and sit on the bench. He hits the button and lets the doors slide shut to keep as much of the bitter winter air out of the already cold car as possible.

"How's your ankle?" he asks bending down in front of me, taking my leg in his large hands.

"It's fine," I quietly say but honestly I don't know. All I can feel right now is how his hands feel on me, and I don't want my body to betray me and react to his touch but it does. My heart starts hammering in my chest.

A tear slides down my cheek, and I quickly wipe it away. I look away from his eyes and try to conjure up the anger again because if the betrayal returns, I won't be able to stop crying. We ride the train to our unknown destination in silence until we reach our jumping off point. He gets up and opens the doors. He then comes back to me and holds his hand out to mine. I just look up at him with a frown frozen on my face. He sighs and picks me up cradling my back with one arm and my knees with the other. I cross my arms and refuse to look at him.

"Tris, unless you _want_ to fall out of my arms when we jump you'll need to put your arms around me." I contemplate how badly I would get hurt if I were to fly out of his arms jumping from a moving train and reluctantly wrap my arms around his neck. A small smile crosses his lips until I glare at him so he just glares right back at me. I once again look away from his eyes. He takes a few steps back then runs toward the open car door and jumps out of the train landing on his feet. My heart flies up into my throat when we jump. It feels like I'm flying.

He takes a few running steps making sure he's steady on his feet then sits me down. I look around but it's too dark to tell where we are. He once again grabs me by my wrist and drags me along behind him. He's moving a little slower now so I don't have to run full speed to keep up with him. I want to know where we are but I'm too stubborn to ask right now. After a few minutes I realize we must be at the old train yard because he's dragging me over multiple sets of train tracks. We wind our way through old, rusted metal engines and boxcars that haven't been operational in decades and enter what looks like an old train service center. There are dim dirty lights hanging from the ceiling here and there, and I can see a few factionless people roaming around.

"I didn't think you would come, Tobias," says a haggard-sounding voice emitting from the shadows. He stops us and releases his grip on me but I automatically move closer to him as fear starts to rise within me. Why did he bring me here? Suddenly an obviously factionless woman steps out of the shadows and recollection washes over me. It's the same frail-looking, thin, middle-aged woman with olive skin and dark curly hair I saw at Christina's appointment at the clinic. When she sees me next to Tobias, she frowns. "You brought someone with you." She doesn't sound happy.

"Yes, this is my girlfriend, Tris. She read your card and wanted to know who you were," he says and not in a friendly tone. He sounds like the intimidating instructor I met on the first day of initiation, not the caring man I fell in love with. Now I'm scared, angry, hurt, _and_ confused, and I don't like feeling this way at all.

"Four, what's going on?" I demand, emotional exhaustion weighing me down. "Who is this woman?" I still can't shake the feeling I should know who she is. She looks _so_ familiar. I look up into Tobias' eyes, and I finally see it, the same hooked nose, strong jaw, ears that stick out just a bit too much, the spare upper lip. I gasp and take a step back. It's his mother, his _dead_ mother. I _knew_ I had seen her before.

"Tris, this is Evelyn," he slowly says at the same time I say, "Evelyn."

"How?" I ask, barely above a whisper, still looking up at Tobias. "I was at her funeral."

"I didn't know you were at her funeral," Tobias says.

"Abnegation girl, huh, Tobias?" Evelyn asks, looking me up and down. "I don't remember any girls named Tris though."

"Tris Prior. Her parents are Andrew and Natalie," he says.

"Beatrice Prior," she says. " _That_ name I remember." I was seven years old when I attended her funeral. Tobias was only nine when his mother supposedly died. I remember feeling so bad for the little dark-haired boy standing all alone by the window looking so sad. I slump onto a bench I happen to be standing in front of. It creaks under the sudden assault of my weight.

"About a year after I joined Dauntless I got a coded message from Evelyn to meet her, although at the time, I honestly thought I was going to meet Marcus. The only reason I went was because I was curious," Tobias says to me. "I couldn't believe my eyes when I saw her. It wasn't the happiest of reunions. I don't like to think about it, and it isn't easy talking about."

"I need to speak to you, Tobias. It's important," Evelyn says. "I would rather we speak in private. It's a family matter."

" _Family_ ," he scoffs. "I really don't want to hear anything you have to say. I only came here because Tris found out about you. I won't lose her because of you and your secret messages." I'm still in total shock when I notice a small child with curly black hair playing by one of the trains. No one seems to be looking after him. At least I assume it's a boy based on the haircut since he has his back to me. He, too, is obviously factionless by the way he's dressed. He's climbing on a rusty train wheel and making whistle noises. I can't help but smile at him. Evelyn notices my gaze and turns her head to see what it is that has caught my attention.

"Tyler Aaron, you be careful. Do you hear me?" Evelyn says. The little boy turns at the sound of his name and I gasp. I can't believe my eyes. I swear I'm looking at a toddler-sized version of Tobias, except he has light blue eyes. They almost look like mine. I look up at Tobias, and he seems as stunned as I am right now.

"Who is that?" he asks, his voice trembling slightly. I don't know what emotions are moving through him right now because his Four mask is firmly in place. Anyone else would think he isn't bothered by any of this, but I know better. Evelyn takes a deep breath before she continues.

"That's Tyler," she says. "He's my son."


	52. Chapter 52

"You have _another_ child?" Tobias asks Evelyn. I can do nothing but sit on this old, tired train station bench and watch the scene in front of me play out between the man I love more than life itself and his supposedly dead mother.

"Yes," she says, hitching her chin up a notch like she is being reprimanded. "His name is Tyler. He'll be 2 years old in a little over a month."

"Who is his father?" Tobias asks, his body as still as stone and his voice like ice.

"His father is the same as his sister's," she says. _Sister_? Tobias has a _sister_? I see him look my way but I can't meet his eyes. Another piece of my shattered heart falls away as I hear important information about the man I love from a virtual stranger. I can't help but wonder what else he's keeping from me. Just this afternoon he came out and said there were things he hadn't told me yet but I had no idea it could be about anything this important. His _dead_ mother is alive. He has a sister whom he never told me about. He has an almost 2-year-old brother, although I can't fault him for that. It seems like he didn't know about him either.

"I'm here now, Evelyn. Why don't you tell me what it is you want," Tobias says sounding exhausted himself. She looks my way but I'm still staring at Tyler, watching him run between the rusty train wheels and climb on everything in sight. If I didn't know better I would swear he was Dauntless. He doesn't seem to have an ounce of fear in him.

"I'd rather talk in private, Tobias," Evelyn says, finally bringing me out of my reverie. Who does she think she is? I glare at her.

"Whatever you want to talk to me about _will_ be talked about with Tris right here. So if you want to talk to me, talk. Otherwise, we're leaving." Evelyn's hard eyes meet mine with a scowl. It's difficult to believe she once was a member of Abnegation. I don't see anything about her that's selfless.

"Fine. I need you to do something for me," she says looking Tobias in the eyes. Right now both their eyes look black as night. "I'm pregnant again, Tobias, and I can't raise another child." They hold each other's stares. _Pregnant_? One would think someone of her age would know how that happens and take precautions. Even Tobias and I knew enough to use birth control before we made love for the first time.

"What am I supposed to do about that, Evelyn?" he asks, his tone flat.

"I want to give the child to you to raise," she says. "I will _not_ give another child up for adoption unless I know _exactly_ where she's going. The only way that can happen is if I give the child to a family member. _You'_ re my only hope, Tobias."

"Once again, Evelyn, what about the baby's _father_. Give the child to him," he says, his voice rising slightly.

"He can't take on the responsibility of another mouth to feed any more than I can," she says. "Please, Tobias. I know I'm asking a lot but I've never asked anything of you before."

"Never asked me for anything," Tobias says so low I'm not sure he knows he spoke out loud. I can sense he is on the verge of exploding. "You walked out of my life when I was _9_ years old, Evelyn. Marcus told me you were _dead_ , I _mourned_ you. You were my only bright spot in an otherwise dark and horrific childhood. I clung to those memories so hard. Then I learned you were _alive_ and you had _abandoned_ me, left me there at the mercy of the sadistic monster who had so cruelly abused you for so many years. You say you didn't think he would hurt me but I don't believe that not for one minute. He was already turning his attention my way before you 'died,'" he spits. His chest is heaving with each word.

"The worst part is I don't even blame you for leaving him. When I was finally old enough, I left his sorry ass, too. What I don't understand is why you didn't take _me_ with you. You chose to leave me, you _son_ , your little _boy_ , with your _monster_ of a husband. You couldn't have loved me very much." Tears are swimming in his eyes, and I can see he's trying very hard to hold them back. "Then when I meet with you for the first time in almost eight years I find out the baby I was told had died didn't, and she is out there somewhere in the city and you can't even tell me her name or what faction she belongs to. Now in meeting with you again I not only find out I have a little brother but another brother or sister on the way and to top it all off you want _me_ to raise the baby." He stands there shaking his head at her. "Is that everything, _mother_?"

"I know I'm asking a lot of an 18-year-old young man, taking on the responsibility of a single parent," she says. Obviously she doesn't know Tobias and I live together. If he raises a child, I'm right there with him, and I'm not sure I'm ready for that. I'm only 16 after all. "If anyone could do it though, you could."

"I wouldn't be a single parent, Evelyn. I have Tris," he says looking at me. This time I meet his eyes. I give him no indication as to how I'm feeling right now mainly because I don't know how I'm feeling, I'm numb. Little Tyler comes toddling over to his mother and pulls on her coat. She bends down to his level, and he whispers in her ear. She smiles lovingly at him.

"Tyler, this is your brother, Tobias," she says to him. I notice Tobias straighten up a little then he squats down to Tyler's level, and they stare at each other for a long time. It must be surreal for both of them. It has to be like looking in to the future for Tyler and into the past for Tobias.

"Hi," Tyler bashfully says. "I Ty." Tobias sticks his hand out, and Tyler takes it, laughing.

"It's nice to meet you, Ty," Tobias says shaking Tyler's hand. "You can call me Four. All my best friends call me that." Tyler giggles at hearing Tobias' unusual nickname.

"'Kay, Fo," he says. Tobias beams at his brother then looks my way, and I can't help but smile at him and his little mini-me.

"Would you like to meet someone who's very special to me, Ty?" Tobias asks. Tyler bobs his head up and down, his light blue eyes shining bright with excitement. Tobias straightens up and walks over by me and Tyler shadows him. "Tyler, this is my girlfriend, Tris."

"Hi, Tyler. It's very nice to meet you," I say to him holding out my hand to him. He ignores my hand and laughs and points at my collarbone.

"Pitty biwd," he says.

"Those are my ravens," I say to him.

"Waven," he repeats.

"That's right," I say pointing at my tattoo. "There's one for my brother, one for my dad, and one for my mom." I slide my finger down the three ravens. I catch Tobias' eye when he realizes he's not yet represented, and his mask momentarily falls away. He looks truly devastated, and I have to look away. I can't stand that in this instant I'm the one causing him pain. I smile back down at his little brother who gives me a big lopsided grin and turns and runs back toward his mother. When I look back at Tobias his Four mask is once again firmly in place. He turns towards his mother.

"I want to get to know him," Tobias says, "but I don't like the idea of having to see you on a regular basis. I'm not sure I can ever forgive you for leaving me the way you did."

"I wish you would try," she says. "What about the baby, Tobias?"

"That's a decision I cannot make on my own, and it cannot be made lightly. How far along are you?" he asks.

"I'm due at the end of April. The 29th to be exact." In approximately four months her baby is due. Suddenly fear is ripping through my body. There's no way Tobias can honestly be considering her request. "It's another girl by the way. I found that out at my last doctor's appointment, which you were at if I'm not mistaken, Tris." Tobias' head flies in my direction.

"I knew you looked familiar when I saw you sitting in the clinic waiting room looking out the window," I say, not taking my eyes off of Evelyn. "I even mentioned you to my friend, Christina, but I had no idea who you were. To be honest until I saw you again tonight standing here next to Four, I hadn't given that day or you a second thought." It comes out sounding harsher than I mean it to. I don't know her at all but I do know she left him with Marcus and even as mad as I am at him right now, I wouldn't wish his childhood on anyone. Her eyes narrow at me. I can tell we aren't going to get along. I thought he only had one psycho parent for me to contend with. I sigh.

"I'll discuss it with Tris, and I'll give you our answer one week from tonight," Tobias says. So we have seven days to determine our future. He turns and looks at me. "Are you ready to go?" I nod my head yes, and I get up off the bench. Tyler comes running back over and we say goodbye. We walk back across the train yard to where we jumped off the train and wait.

"Are you okay, Tris?" Tobias asks. How _am_ I right now? How _do_ I feel about all this? I'm far from okay.

"No, I'm not, Tobias," I say, needing to be honest. "We have a lot to talk about."

"I'm sorry all of this was sprung on you tonight," he says, looking down at me. My eyes are still adjusting to the darkness but I think I see tears in his eyes again. Seeing him in pain makes my heart constrict.

"Why didn't you just tell me your mother was alive?" I ask, needing to know his reason for keeping me at arm's length. He's quiet for a long time, and I'm not sure he's going to answer my question.

"I wasn't ready to talk about it, about her. As much as Marcus' beatings hurt, it hurts a hell of a lot worse that she left me. I don't like thinking about it. I guess I would rather pretend she never contacted me, that I didn't know," he says. We see the light of the approaching train, and he stops talking. We start running as soon as we see the engine, and he once again helps me into the train. My ankle's starting to throb quite a bit. I'm probably going to have to take some pain medication when we get home.

"I'm sorry Evelyn was selfish and left you," I say as he closes the doors. He turns and looks at me. "I truly am, Tobias. No one should ever feel unwanted and unloved, especially by the people who should love you the most in the world, your parents. But I'm still angry and hurt. We made a promise to each other that we could always tell each other anything without being embarrassed and without fear of what the other one would think. Did you only mean me, because you keep things from me? That hurts a lot and makes me feel like you don't trust me."

"I trust you," he says. "There are some things in my life that are too painful for me to talk about. Not telling you doesn't have anything to do with you, it's all about me."

"It's not you, it's me. That's laughable, Tobias," I say spitefully. We sit in silence until it's time to get off the train. This time I don't fight him when he goes to pick me up. I automatically wrap my arms around his neck and wait for us to jump. He opens the doors, takes a few steps back, and then jumps off the train. Once again, I feel like I'm flying for a moment. If it were under any other circumstance, I would be having a wonderful time right now in his arms.

After he gets a hold on his footing, he sits me on my feet. I march off toward the Pire, and he follows closely behind me. When we reach our apartment, I get a couple acetaminophen and down them with a big glass of water then I collapse on the couch.

"How's your ankle," he asks me, once again taking my foot gently in his hands and massaging the ache away.

"It's okay, Tobias," I say. We stare into one another's eyes for a long time not saying a word. He finally releases my foot and sits down on the loveseat, putting his elbows on his knees.

"We need to talk about this, Tris. Please don't shut me out," he says, a grave look on his face. "I'm truly sorry I didn't tell you about Evelyn being alive. I should have, I just didn't know how to tell you."

"Shutting you out?" I laugh but it's a hateful sound. I've never in my life heard anything like that pass my lips. I hate myself for it. I close my eyes and take a few calming breaths before I continue. "Do you even know why I'm upset with you, Tobias?"

"Because I didn't tell you Evelyn was alive," he says.

"And," I prompt. He thinks for a moment.

"I didn't tell you about the other flower deliveries, and I lied to you when I told you the first card was unsigned."

"You are so off base," I say, shaking my head.

"Then tell me why you're so upset," he say, begging. "I honestly don't get it."

"Put yourself in my shoes, Tobias. How would you feel if I had been keeping something this important from you since we met?" I ask. "This isn't an omission of your favorite color. This is not telling me your father lied to you, your mother abandoned you, and she's still alive. But that isn't what's upsetting me so much, what upsets me the most is you _chose_ not to share this with me. The minute the first vase of flowers showed up you had a choice, Tobias. You could either tell me the truth or you could lie. You chose to lie."

"I ... wasn't ... _ready_ ," he says, his temper flaring. "I would have told you about her when I was ready. It isn't easy talking about her, thinking about her. She _left_ me, Tris. You don't know what it's like to have someone leave you. I hope you never do."

"I need to know something, Tobias. If I hadn't opened that card from your mother today would you have lied to me about it? Be honest with me for once." He is quiet for a while, looking at the floor.

"Yeah, I probably would have," he slowly replies. Tears of frustration fill my eyes. "Like I said, I wasn't ready to tell you about her yet. We need to talk about the baby, Tris." I stare at him for a moment, a blank look on my face.

"You're ... what ... Are you _kidding_ me? You're honestly sitting here in front of me asking me to raise a child with you? I don't think I can do that," I say shaking my head. "I don't even know you."

"This is absurd," he shouts, bolting up off the loveseat and pacing back and forth. "You know me better than anyone else ever has. Stop acting like this is the end of the world."

"You _still_ don't understand why I'm so upset do you? I have given you everything, Tobias Eaton, _everything_. I even gave _myself_ to you, and you _still_ hold pieces of yourself back. That isn't love, I don't know what it is. I can't do this anymore. I'm leaving," I say, tears streaming down my cheeks. I turn and walk out of the apartment, feeling the hole where my heart used to be. I head down the hallway and knock on Christina and Will's door. When she answers, I fall into her arms, sobbing.


	53. Chapter 53

I spend a long, restless night in Will and Christina's guest bedroom, crying and tossing and turning in the tiny twin bed. I'm honestly surprised Tobias didn't come looking for me after our fight but maybe we are totally broken now, and there's nothing that can be done to fix it. Just the thought makes me break down again. I look at the clock that rests on the nightstand and see it's only a little before 5:00 a.m. I'm not ready to face what the world has in store for me today so I roll over in bed and face the wall. I think back over every moment of the past 24 hours and sigh. How did things get so turned around?

Christina and Will tried to force me to tell them what happened but I was crying and blubbering so much I was totally incoherent. Since so much that happened last night revolves around Tobias' Abnegation life, I don't think I'm at liberty to tell them everything that happened anyway so it's probably best I didn't tell them anything at all. I realize I can't hide in bed all day as much as I would like to. I need to be brave and face my problems head on. I groan then roll out of bed and straighten the covers before going out into their sizable living room.

The sun is barely beyond the horizon so there's just enough light coming in the floor-to-ceiling windows for me to make my way around the unfamiliar space without bumping into things. Their apartment has a totally different layout than mine. One of their four bedrooms is downstairs along with a full bathroom, kitchen, dining room, and living room. From what I saw of it last night, it's a really nice place, and Christina has decorated it beautifully. Hopefully, they'll invite me back sometime when I can enjoy it more, preferably, for all of us, when I'm not falling apart.

I quietly leave their apartment, locking the door before I leave and stand in the hallway in front of my door for a long while wondering what awaits me on the other side. My heart rate increases and my breathing quickens. Did I overreact to the entire situation? I know why I'm upset. He chose to keep something that's very important and goes to his basic fundamentals as a person to himself, and I probably still wouldn't know anything about it if I hadn't read the note from his mother attached to the last bouquet of flowers. He never told me his mother is alive; the mother who abandoned him when he was 9 years old. He never told me he has a sister; a sister who he has never seen before and doesn't know where she lives, if she's okay, or even what her name is. He never told me his father abused his mother also; I think that might be what he was getting at yesterday after our meeting with Marcus but he didn't want to talk about it in public. I realize I might have screwed this up just as much by walking out last night as he did by choosing to not tell me the truth.

I test the doorknob, and realize there's no need to fish my key out of my pocket since it turns under my grip. I quietly walk into the apartment and find Tobias asleep on the couch wearing what he had on last night. If he had any kind of night like I had, he needs his rest so I try not to disturb him. I go into the kitchen and start a pot of coffee then tiptoe up the stairs to take a shower. I let the spray of hot water wash away the tension that's accumulated in my body over the past 24 hours, and I feel myself begin to relax. When I finish, I put on a comfortable pair of yoga pants and a long-sleeved black sweater. I pad down the stairs to get some much-needed coffee. I know I won't make it through the day without it. He's still lying on the couch asleep, so I quietly go to the kitchen and pour myself a cup of coffee.

"Will you pour me one, too?" he says as I lift the mug to my lips, making me jump.

"Oh, damn! You scared me. I thought you were asleep," I say, holding my hand over my racing heart. He gets up off the couch and walks over to the island and sits down across from where I'm standing. I pour him a cup of coffee and slide it toward him, eyeing him the entire time. He looks haggard.

"I didn't have a very good night," he says, taking in my inspection. His Four mask is firmly in place, and he's not showing any emotion at all.

"Neither did I, Tobias," I say, meeting his eyes. "I need to apologize to you. No matter how upset I was, I shouldn't have left the way I did last night. That was unfair of me."

"No, you shouldn't have," he says.

"We still have a lot to talk about. Let's sit on the couch," I say, picking up my mug and moving into the living room. He follows behind me, and we each sit on opposite ends of our couch angling our bodies toward one another. I hold my mug gently between my hands letting its warmth flow through me. I look into his eyes, and I can't see what he's feeling like I normally can, and it frustrates me. "I've thought a lot about what happened yesterday, and I think I might have overreacted a little. Finding out you've been keeping secrets from me hurt unlike anything has ever hurt in my entire life, Tobias, and I didn't handle things the best I could have."

"I'm sorry too, Tris. I should have told you about Evelyn and my sister. After thinking long and hard about it after you left, talking to you might have made me feel better about the whole situation. Instead of being afraid to share it with you, I should have leaned on you, borrowed your strength."

"So where do we go from here? I can't just forget yesterday happened," I say.

"Neither can I," he says, moving a little closer to me.

"I still feel like you're holding parts of yourself back from me, Tobias. If you have any other secrets, you need to tell me now. I don't think I can handle any more surprises," I say, putting my now empty coffee cup on the cork coaster on the end table then looking back at him.

"There are lots of things we still don't know about each other. We both learn new things every day but I have no more secrets. I promise."

"You warned me about your father yesterday. You wanted to tell me something about him but didn't get a chance to," I say. "What was it?"

"You found out last night. He was very abusive to my mother. He beat her on a daily basis for every reason under the sun and no reason at all, but that isn't everything," he says. He pauses before he continues. I can see this is _very_ hard for him to talk about. "He was also psychologically, emotionally, and sexually abusive to her. There are things I heard in that house that I wish I could permanently erase from my memory. He called her names, degraded her, and made her feel worthless about herself, which made me feel worthless for not helping her. I don't blame her in the least for having the affair and leaving him. He deserved it." I don't feel as severely about Evelyn as I did listening to him tell me about the abuse she suffered at Marcus' hands. Tobias' eyes glaze over, and I can tell he's in another place and time, reliving past memories he would rather forget. "I just can't get past the fact she left me with him, the man who did those unspeakable things to her for so many years. I don't believe her when she says she didn't think he would hurt me. He had already started in before she left. I can't help but feel she had to know.

"Then when she told me the baby from almost 10 years ago didn't in fact die, that she gave her up for adoption, I couldn't believe my ears. How does someone give up their child, not once but twice, and if she succeeds in getting us to adopt this new baby, that is _three_ children she gave away. How can a mother do that?" From what I've seen of Evelyn, mother is not a word I would use to describe her. "And then there's Tyler. I know I could learn to love him, but what makes him so special that she decided to keep _him_ and throw the rest of us away. I hate myself for feeling this way."

"Hopefully, your sister is being well taken care of by two loving parents who are giving her the best of everything including themselves. You have to think of her that way," I say. "As for Tyler, I really don't know what to tell you. I understand why you feel the way you do but you need to remember one thing, it isn't his fault she kept him with her."

"I know. It just hurts," he says.

"I'm sorry she has the power to hurt you," I say, moving across the couch to take his hand. We lace our fingers together and stare into one another's eyes. I feel my heart start to race under the heat of his gaze.

"What about the baby, Tris. I know we're young, but I don't think I can have another sister out there in the world and not know who she is, where she's at, or if she's okay," he says quietly, pain clear in his voice. "I want to adopt the baby."

"Tobias, think about what you're asking? I'm 16. You're 18," I say but he interrupts before I can continue my argument.

"We'll be 17 and 19 soon," he says matter-of-factly.

"What do we know about raising a baby?" I ask.

"What do any first time parents know about raising a child? It's something we would learn together over time," he says. Oh, he's good. I think he must have spent a lot of time last night thinking about why he wants this child as I was down the hall thinking about all the reasons why I'm not ready.

"Do we want to bring a child into this relationship when we're both targets of some psycho?" I ask, trying to grasp at any angle to get him to reconsider his arguments, which are well thought out. He looks at my face for a moment, examining it thoroughly.

"You don't want to have a baby with me?" he asks, sounding hurt.

"Oh, Tobias," I say. I don't want to hurt him further, but I'm just not ready. "Right now? No, I don't. We haven't been together for six months yet. By the time the baby comes a full year won't have passed. Don't you think this is rushing everything, adopting a baby? That's so much responsibility. I just don't think I'm ready for that." Just the thought sets every nerve ending in my body on fire.

"Is there anything I can say that will change your mind? I want this baby, Tris," he says. I look at him, and suddenly fear envelopes me. If he wants this child bad enough, and I say no, he could leave me. I know without a doubt _that_ is something I don't want.

"We have a week to decide, right? We don't have to be hasty. We need to work on this decision together. That's what partners do. I _promise_ I will listen to everything you have to say about adopting your sister as long as you promise to listen to all of my concerns."

"You have a deal," he says. "There's something I need from you. Promise me you will never walk out on me again like you did last night. I can take a lot of things, Tris, but that is _not_ one of them. If you ever do that again, we're through ... understand." I look into his eyes and see a mixture of anger, fear, hurt, and rejection.

"I promise, Tobias. I'll never leave like that again. It was immature of me, and I can see that I hurt you. I am _so_ sorry. I didn't mean to hurt you," I say, leaning over and wrapping myself around him. He holds me tightly, running his hands through my hair. It's in this moment I realize we're going to be okay. After a minute he pushes me back gently and looks down into my eyes.

"I have to apologize, Tris. You were right. I _was_ holding you at arm's length, not letting you in 100%. Everyone I have ever _truly_ loved has disappointed me in some way, and I was shielding myself from that pain and frustration. I've always learned from example, and to me love equals pain, abuse, neglect, abandonment. I thought I was protecting myself by not letting you in all the way but I realized last night I was wrong. I was not only hurting you but I was hurting myself as well."

"We still have a lot to learn about each other, don't we?" I take both of his hands in mine and look into his deep dark soulful blue eyes, and all the hurt feelings I've felt in the past 24 hours vanish leaving only a deep, _deep_ love behind. "I promise you, Tobias Eaton, to be honest every single day, to talk to you about things I don't always want to talk about without fear or embarrassment. I promise to love you and only you for the rest of my life and work out our differences or problems and not run away from them. I love you."

"Beatrice Prior, my love ... my life ... my heart. I promise to never hold back any part of myself from you from this day forward, to give myself over to you wholeheartedly without fear or reservation. I promise to treat you as my equal in everything we do, in all the decisions we make throughout our lifetime. And most importantly I promise to love you and only you for the rest of my life until we decide _together_ to bring children into this home, then I promise I will love them just as much as I love you, and I do love you, my Six, more than you know."

He leans toward me, and I raise my lips to meet his. He kisses me softly at first but the kiss deepens as the need we feel seeps into it. We break away from each other breathlessly, and he lifts my shirt off over my head with no objection from me. I want him, all of him, now in this moment. I ache to feel him inside me. I straddle his lap and raise his shirt off over his head and toss it away just as his mouth lands on mine. I feel his hands reach around me and unhook my bra. He slides it down my arms and tosses it behind him without a care. His hands cover my bare breasts, and I moan against his open mouth. Suddenly a loud banging at the door brings us out of the passionate fog, and we freeze in each other's arms.

"If we don't make any noise maybe they'll go away," I whisper in his ear. He smiles at me and places his lips on mine once again, desire building again but the knocking continues.

"Beatrice Prior, I know you're in there. If you don't answer this door _immediately_ , I'm going to go and get the spare key you gave me and let myself in," Christina yells through the closed door. I sigh into Tobias' mouth.

"I forgot I gave her a key," I whisper to Tobias. Then I yell at Christina, "Just a minute." I get off his lap after another quick kiss and slide my shirt back on, and I notice him doing the same. I smooth down my still damp hair as I walk to the door and open it. Christina and Will push their way inside.

"Come in," I say. Then I add, "Good morning."

"Are you okay?" Christina asks me, glaring at Tobias the entire time. I nod at her before answering.

"Yes. We were talking, working things out," I say.

" _Talking?_ " she asks skeptically. Her eyes look down at the floor, and I follow her gaze to my lacy black bra Tobias just tossed away a few moments ago. How could I have forgotten that? I move quickly, pick up the bra, and toss it to the other side of the Christmas tree, out of the line of sight.

"I want some answers, Tris. You were a total _mess_ last night. I've never seen you that upset, and now you're acting like nothing even happened. It doesn't add up," Christina says, shaking her head. I take a deep breath and think about her demands. I don't think I can tell her why I acted the way I did last night without exposing some of Tobias' secrets, and I can't do that to him ... no, I _won't_ do that.

"Christina," I slowly say. "I'm so sorry I showed up on your doorstep last night the way I did, and you're right you deserve some answers but I can't tell you what happened last night. Just know I'm okay now."

"I'm not leaving until I get some answers, Tris," Christina says, crossing her arms over her chest, glaring at me now.

"Tris isn't going to tell you anything, Christina," Tobias says, "but I will."


	54. Chapter 54

The tension in the air is palpable. Will, Christina, Tobias, and I are standing in my living room staring at one another. They barged in this morning demanding answers for my actions last night, and I really can't blame them. They took me in when I was at my absolute lowest point. I just don't want Tobias to have to share any of his secrets if he's not unequivocally ready to do so. I don't want to hurt him anymore than I already have.

"Fine. Let's hear it, Four," Christina irritably says.

"Everyone sit down, please," I say, trying to ease the tension a little. "Does anyone want some coffee? The pot's still hot." Everyone says no, and we sit around my living room waiting for Tobias to speak.

"The first thing you need to know is I didn't mean to hurt Tris last night. I would rather cut my own heart out than ever hurt her," he says. Shock rockets through my body. He's speaking to Will and Christina as Tobias, _not_ Four. Even they notice the clear difference, and their mouths fall open before they gather their wits and close them. "What I'm about to say doesn't leave this room, you got it?" They nod their heads in unison.

"Four, what are you doing?" I nervously ask, interrupting. I can't believe this. He really plans to go through with this.

"Tris, they deserve to know the entire truth," he says to me. I shake my head at him.

"No. You don't have to do this. They don't need to know anything other than I'm fine, you're fine, and we both did and said some stupid things yesterday."

"Tris," he says moving closer to me on the couch. He pulls me toward him and wraps his arms around me, his hands caressing my hair. I can't believe he's acting this way in front of other people. He's acting like he does when we're alone. He pulls back and looks at me. "We promised to be honest. I want to be honest."

"Honest with each other, Four," I say. " _Not_ our friends." Will and Christina are sitting there staring at us in complete awe. I realize they're finally seeing the man I fell in love with.

"Tris, I want to do this," he says. "I _need_ to do this. They're my friends, too. I trust them."

"Tell me you aren't doing this for me. You're talking about sharing your most personal moments. If you're going to do this it has to be for _you_ , not me," I say, practically begging.

"I want to," he says, kissing me lightly on the mouth. He pulls away quickly then takes a couple deep breaths and reaches for my hand. I lace our fingers together and place my other hand over our clasped hands. He looks at Will and Christina who are sitting side-by-side on the loveseat, expectation plain on their faces.

"Do you two know how many transfers from Abnegation there have been over the years?" They both shake their heads at him, confusion crossing their faces at the direction the conversation has turned. "Less than 10 in our entire history, and exactly two in the past 10 years. Obviously, Tris here is one of them, and ... I'm the other one." Their eyes widen at his admission, and he tenses up beside me. I know he's about to share his story so I squeeze his hand showing him my support. He looks down into my eyes and gives me a slight smile. This is harder on him than he's letting show.

"My name is Tobias Eaton. I'm sure you've heard that name before and read about me in the reports published by Erudite. I'm afraid to say every one of the reports about me is 100% truth. My father is the leader of Abnegation, Marcus Eaton. I transferred from Abnegation to get away from his abuse.

"When I was 9-years-old, my mother got pregnant. I was excited and anxious all at the same time. I couldn't wait to have a little brother or sister but I knew adding another member to our family only meant one more person for Marcus to abuse." He stops for a moment and clears his throat. I get up and go to the kitchen and grab him a bottle of water out of the fridge and bring it to him. He smiles at me and drinks the entire bottle down in no time at all. He sets the empty bottle on the end table next to him then continues with his story.

"Later, my mother died during childbirth, and my baby sister didn't make it either," he says, an edge to his voice. I know its reason, but they don't and confusion once again crosses both their faces. Christina starts to ask a question but Tobias stops her. "Let me get this out, please, Christina, or I might not be able to finish then Tris and I will answer any questions you have." Will and Christina nod in agreement. "From that day forward until my Choosing Ceremony, Marcus beat me or locked me in the closet almost on a daily basis. I couldn't wait to get as far away from him as possible. I hoped the aptitude test would tell me another faction is where I belonged, but it didn't. It told me what I had always known, I was born for Abnegation." This visibly shocks our friends, the great Four thinking he belongs in Abnegation. "It was a long, sleepless night deciding to choose Dauntless. I ruled out the other factions quite easily but part of me was having a hard time letting go of Abnegation's simple life. I swear if it weren't for my father, I would be wearing gray robes right now," he says looking down into my eyes. I smile up at him. He knows I could have chosen Abnegation just as easily.

"You wanted to know about last night," he says, then just sits there.

"There was something Four didn't share with me," I say, trying to encourage him to continue. "Something I found out through the flower deliveries." Christina sits forward a little at the mention of the flowers. She knows this is where the trouble started.

"About a year after I joined Dauntless I got a coded message to meet someone. I honestly thought it was from Marcus, and I went because I was curious as to why he would want to see me after I defected from Abnegation but it wasn't him. It was ... I still can't believe it ... it was my mother." Will and Christina both gasp. "She hadn't died like my father told me. She chose to leave my father and Abnegation and become factionless. The baby I told you about was the result of an affair. The baby didn't die either. Evelyn gave her up for adoption and doesn't know what happened to her. Apparently, it's a rule. You aren't allowed to know anything about your child once you give it up. I was shocked to see her again, and it wasn't a happy reunion. I still can't get over the fact she left me with Marcus. I don't think I will ever be able to forgive her for abandoning me, and that's what I told her.

"Yesterday, Tris signed for a delivery of flowers from Evelyn and read the card. I made the mistake of not telling her about the other deliveries and lying to her about what the first card said. I was stupid," he says gliding his hand down my face, regret in his eyes. "Even though she never came out and said it, I think she thought I was seeing someone else." I nod my head acknowledging that's _exactly_ what I thought. "I wasn't happy with her for opening the card but I understand now why she did it. I lied to her and made her not trust me. I took Tris to meet Evelyn last night and I ... _we_ got a few more surprises."

"Four has a little brother named Tyler," I say continuing for him. "He's almost two years old and so cute. I imagine he looks exactly like Four did at that age except with lighter eyes."

"Your eyes," Tobias whispers. I can't help but smile at him. He noticed that too.

"His mother is also expecting another child, and she wants Four to adopt her." Will and Christina are both sitting mouths agape, staring at us. They no longer try to hide their shock. "Christina, do you remember the factionless woman at the clinic who looked familiar to me?" She slowly nods her head at me. "That was Evelyn."

"Damn," Christina says, unable to contain herself anymore. "Sorry. Continue."

"That's basically everything. We both got upset for different reason. Words were exchanged. I stupidly left instead of staying and trying to work things out. I'll never walk out on you ever again," I quietly say to Tobias. "I love you."

"I love you, too," he says to me. Then he looks at Will and Christina. "There are a couple of things I need from you two. Don't _ever_ call me by my given name. I'm Four now, _never_ Tobias. Also no one else needs to know I'm from Abnegation. If they were to hear that information, it's not hard to figure out who I am and who I'm related to."

"Okay, Four," they say in unison. It's so cute how they do everything together.

"Do you have any questions?" Tobias hesitantly asks. I know he doesn't like talking about himself. It must be the Abnegation in him.

"How did you get the name Four?" Will asks. "I know it's the number of fears you had during initiation but who came up with it?" Tobias smiles then sighs.

"Amar gave me the name Four so I would fit in at Dauntless better," he says. "He was tough on me, but I considered him a friend. He made sure I learned how to hide my divergence, and I believe it cost him his life. He toyed with the idea of calling me either Blade or Killer." He laughs at the memory. "I'm glad he settled on Four instead."

"I didn't know that, _Killer_ ," I say, laughing. I may have found a new nickname for him. He just rolls his eyes at me. "Yeah! I'm glad he chose Four also. It sounds ... normal, as normal as a number can." He shakes his head at me but there's a comfortable smile on his lips.

"What are you going to do about the baby?" Christina asks, eying me. Tobias and I just look at each other, fear on my face and expectation on his.

"We haven't decided yet," he says.

"We have to think about it some more," I add. "It's a big decision, having a baby. We're not sure we're ready for that, at least I'm not." Will and Christina both burst out laughing, and Tobias and I look at each other curiously.

"What's so funny?" I slowly ask, unable to hide my agitation. Christina's having a hard time catching her breath because she's laughing so hard.

"Yeah, having a baby is a _big_ decision but sometimes the decision is made _for_ you," she says. Oh, God. She's pregnant and here I am discussing not really wanting to have a child now because I'm not ready. She didn't have a choice, not really. I just stare at her. "Tell me what you would do if you went to the infirmary right now and Dr. Parrish told you you're pregnant. Tris, Four. Don't think, just answer."

"I'd have the baby," I say, surprising myself a little. Tobias can't say anything. He seems a little tongue-tied at the moment.

"There's your answer, Tris. Give that baby a home. You're the most selfless person I know. You'll be a wonderful mother."

"But I have so many doubts," I say. "I just don't think now is the right time."

"I can answer that for you," Will says. "It's never the right time to have a baby, Tris, and if you wait until the time _is_ right, you'll never have one." Seriously, did Tobias sneak into their bedroom last night and tell them what to say to me about adopting this little girl.

"I can't fight all three of you," I say, mostly to myself.

"Does that mean you've reconsidered?" Tobias asks.

"No, not really, but I promised I would listen to your side fully, and I will take what Will and Christina have said into account."

"Did you two know each other in Abnegation?" Will asks, abruptly changing the subject.

"As amazing as it seems, no, we didn't, and we grew up just down the street from one another," I say. "We both had to leave our faction to find each other." We smile brightly looking into each other's eyes.

"So you two are okay now?" Christina says. "No more knocking on my door in tears. You know _I_ should be the one who's having emotional outbursts people. _I'm_ the pregnant one. And speaking of that, William, if you don't get me some food pretty soon, I'm going to pass out." I laugh at that and spring up off the couch and give her a big hug.

"Thank you for being there for me last night," I whisper in her ear. "You don't know how much you mean to me."

"Are you really alright?" she asks.

"Yes, for the most part." I pull back from her, and she stands up. We continue our conversation in hushed tones. "It's going to take a bit of time to get things back to how they were but we're actually in a better place _now_ because of what happened last night. We promised no more secrets and no more running away from our problems. We'll be fine."

"You're right, Tris. He _is_ totally different with you, and he is _totally_ in love with you. I saw that with my own two eyes this morning. I'm so happy for you, and I'm no longer concerned he will hurt you, if you know what I mean." I forgot she thought of him as abusive.

"You understand why I couldn't say anything about his past when you shared those fears with me, right? I knew he would never physically hurt me after being hurt himself by his father. Now go and get breakfast before you starve." She hugs me again and then hugs Tobias, startling him. Will hugs me and shakes Tobias' hand then they leave to go to the cafeteria. Tobias pulls me into his arms and kisses me passionately then reluctantly lets me go.

"I have to take a shower and get ready for work. I think we can make it on time. Why don't you make breakfast," he says heading towards the stairs. He lets out a laugh then bends down and picks up my bra. "Here. You might want this." He throws it at me with amazing accuracy, and I just shake my head at him and laugh. That's the second time we've been interrupted by Christina. Instead of making breakfast, I take a couple of chocolate chip muffins out of a sack in the cupboard and take them upstairs so we can eat while getting ready for work.

Tobias comes into the bedroom with nothing but a towel slung low around his lean hips, and desire spears straight through me. He's standing in front of his closet rooting around for something to wear when I go up behind him and gently slide his towel off, letting it fall to the floor. He looks down over his shoulder at me, and I just smile coyly up at him.

"You dropped your towel," I innocently say. I take a step closer and press myself against his strong, naked back and slide my delicate hands up and down his hard, hairless chest, feeling every defined muscle beneath my roaming fingertips. I hear his breath increase, and he gasps as I move my right hand down and wrap it around his stirring manhood. I gently glide my snug fist up and down his length, feeling him harden and grow. It's the most amazing thing I've ever felt. I move my other hand up and play with his rigid little nipple, rolling it between my fingertips while I kiss his tattoo. He lets out a long guttural moan and his head falls backward.

"What are you doing, Tris?" he asks roughly.

"I'm making us late for work," I say between kisses. I release him and he turns quickly, lifting me by the waist until we are the same height. I wrap my arms around his neck and my legs around his waist as his hungry mouth lands on mine. We kiss each other greedily. He hurries across the room and lies me down on the bed then covers me with his naked body, not once breaking our kiss. He slowly slides his hand down my body and moves it up under my sweater and covers my bare aching breast with his hand. We finally break apart gasping for air. He leans back, and I whip my sweater off over my head and toss it aside. He lightly presses his lips to mine then kisses his way down to my left breast, licking around the taut bud before taking it in his mouth. I lie there enjoying the feel of his hot, wet mouth on me. I run my fingers through his damp curls as he teases me with his talented tongue, circling, lapping, sucking, then biting. I wrap my legs around him again and pull his head closer to my chest. My breath is coming hard and fast as he continues the sweet torment. I hear him chuckle against my breast causing a ripple of desire to jolt straight between my thighs. He switches breasts and repeats the worship until I pull him up, and his mouth lands on mine again. He breaks away after a moment and leans back and together we get my yoga pants and boy shorts off.

He once again covers my body with his and looks down at me with lust-filled eyes. He moves his hand between us and methodically starts to circles my nubbin with his thumb, never taking his eyes off mine. He watches as my eyes glaze over with lust at the constant stimulation. My breath is coming in agonized gasps as he moves me closer to the edge. He gently inserts his middle finger into me, bending it slightly, and sinks it deep within me. He immediately pulls it out then joins another finger with it and sinks back into me. He then sets a steady pace with his fingers, never letting his thumb stop moving over my hard, aching nubbin. I moan between gasps and start rocking my hips in time with his movements. His eyes are penetrating me to my very depths.

"Keep looking at me, Tris," he roughly says. "I want you to look at me when you come." Almost on command, at the word, I plummet over the edge and shudder uncontrollably around his probing fingers but don't take my eyes off of his. He keeps up the movements with his hand until I can't take anymore. I grab him roughly and pull his mouth to mine, and I let my tongue mate with his. He removes his hand and in one fluid movement wraps his arms tightly around me and rolls us so I'm on top of him. I break the steamy kiss and look inquisitively into his eyes.

"Just like on the couch," is all he says. _Just like on the couch,_ I think. _Okay._ I let my legs fall to either side of his hips and sit up. He lets his eyes and hands roam up and down my small body. I relax and lift myself with my legs. I reach down and take his hard length in my hand and place him at my entrance then I ease myself down onto him inch by hard inch until he's fully embedded within me. I don't move for a full minute, panting at the fullness, getting used to the feeling. I swear he's deeper than he ever has been before. I finally raise myself with my legs until he almost slips out then let gravity slide me back down, and do it again watching Tobias' face the entire time. The look of pure pleasure tells me what I'm doing is right. I lean forward until my hands are on either side of his head and find I'm more comfortable this way. I set a nice rhythm for the both of us and start to feel the sweet pressure build again. I close my eyes and quicken the pace, pushing myself down harder and faster on his hard length as he thrusts up to meet my hips. He leans up, kisses my breast, and draws my hard, aching nipple into his mouth. A mini explosion courses through me as he works on the hard bud with his hot, wet mouth, circling and biting repeatedly.

Soon he sits us both up so we're face to face, and I stop momentarily, startled by his sudden movement. I wrap my arms around his neck, pull him close to me, and he places his hands on my hips. I bring his mouth to mine and leisurely kiss him as he helps raise and lower me on his hard, pulsating manhood. We once again pick up the pace as he delves deeper still into me with each frenzied thrust. We move closer to the edge of some unknown cliff; him thrusting into me incredibly deep as I crash down on him allowing him entrance into my very soul.

Our mouths never part as a wave of pleasure crashes over me just as I feel Tobias shudder and empty himself into me. We both ride the surge of ecstasy that's washing through us until we're sapped of all strength. He falls backward, and I follow him down, collapsing on top of him, lying there panting. Once my breathing returns to normal I slide myself up, and he slips out of me. I kiss his lips then roll off of him and lie down beside him. I rest my head in the crook of his arm, and we don't say anything for a long while.

"I need another shower," he says, finally breaking the comfortable silence.

"I do too," I say. Then an idea hits me. "Let's take one together, Tobias." That's something we've never done before. He groans at the suggestion and shakes his head.

"I'm not sure that's a good idea, Tris. We've really got to get to work. If we take a shower together ... no, it's too tempting." I move my head to look into his eyes. "I think it would just lead to more of this, and we don't have time now. Maybe we can take a shower tonight."

"Promise?" I ask, turning to lightly run my fingertips over his rock hard abs. They contract under my fingers and desire surges through me once again.

"Yes," he says.

"Until tonight then," I say as I roll back on top of him and give him a long, slow kiss.


	55. Chapter 55

Tobias and I finally make it to work almost a full two hours later. We made love two more times before we could tear ourselves away from each other. Tobias told me we need to fight more often if that's what making up was going to be like. First, I lightly smacked his arm, and then I kissed him soundly on the mouth almost causing us to be even later.

Since I'm only supposed to work in my office this week, I'm going through a stack of incident reports from the past month. With the exception of Ivy's death, Hana and Tobias' assaults, and my accident, it's been a relatively quiet month. I find this part of the job repetitive and rather boring but it needs to be done. Suddenly, I see Christina lingering outside my door. I catch her gaze, and she walks into my office.

"Hey, Tris. Are you busy?" she asks.

"Not really. It's nothing I can't finish later," I say putting the files aside.

"You've never tried on the dress I set aside for the masquerade ball in the boutique. Zoe is pitching a fit thinking it won't sell if you don't like it. Is there any way you can come and try it on right now? We can call it a party planning meeting," she says. Crap! The masquerade ball is the day after tomorrow, and Tobias and I haven't gotten outfits yet. I've been so caught up in everything else that's been going on that I haven't taken the time to get a dress. Shopping probably isn't a normal duty of a Dauntless leader but if it keeps her best friend in the good graces of her boss I think it's well worth it.

"It would be my pleasure to try on the dress right now. I'm sorry about last night by the way. It was bad enough I cancelled our plans at the last minute but showing up on your doorstep a total wreck was uncalled for," I say. "You're a great friend, Christina. I don't tell you that enough. If you ever need anything, you let me know."

"I will. Are you sure you're okay? I know what you two said this morning but I still worry," she says, concern behind the smile. I nod trying to reassure her. "Okay, then. Let's go get you a dress."

"How about the tattoo. When do you work in the parlor again?" I ask, wanting to get Tobias' raven as soon as possible.

"We can do it now if you want to. I'm actually Dauntless Party Planner at the moment but everything is going very smoothly in the auditorium, and they can do without me for a while."

Christina and I leave my office and tell Tobias we're going to the boutique to get our outfits for the ball because Zoe is giving Christina a hard time about holding them any longer. I'm about to tell him about the tattoo but I quickly change my mind since I want it to be a surprise. Instead I tell him I'll meet him in the cafeteria around noon.

Christina and I make our way down the path that winds its way to the floor of the Pit. It surprises me that it doesn't take longer since I have to use the crutches for two more days but I've gotten remarkably agile with them. Since the tattoo parlor is before the boutique we stop there first. She leads me to her station, and I sit in the reclining chair after I take my shirt off over my head. I also have to pull my left bra strap down to expose her work surface. She moves closer to me and starts working on the raven.

"I'm sorry Will and I interrupted you two this morning but we really needed some answers," she says. A blush starts to color my cheeks. She knows this is an uncomfortable subject for me.

"It's okay," I murmur.

"You made up for it later though, didn't you," she says.

"Christina!" is all I can say.

"I don't understand why you don't want to talk about sex with me," she says, sounding almost offended. "I'm your best friend, Tris. I won't tell anyone else what you have to say, not even Will if that would make you feel more comfortable."

"I don't think I will ever be comfortable with the subject," I quietly say. "I still have trouble talking to Four about it."

"It's amazing isn't it?" she says. "Unlike anything else."

"Yes, it is," I finally say.

"I told you."

"When Four and I went to Abnegation to talk about the Dauntless crisis with my parents, my mom gave me a sex talk," I admit shyly.

"She did? What did she say?" I relay everything she said that day. With each passing sentence Christina's eyes widen a little more.

"Wow," she says. "I can't imagine that coming from someone in Abnegation. No offense, Tris."

"None taken," I say with a smile. "I was shocked, too. I couldn't speak for a long time because I was so embarrassed."

"Why does this subject embarrass you so much? You obviously aren't afraid of it anymore. I know how late you two were this morning. You had to do it more than once," she says, fishing for information. I shake my head at her.

"You will never get details out of me, Christina," I say. I take a few deep breaths to calm myself before I continue. "It's private, between Four and me."

"Okay, okay," she says with a disappointed smile on her face. "You can't blame a girl for trying."

"Why do you want to know anyway?" I say, real curiosity in my voice.

"I don't know. I would like to have someone to compare my experiences with. I mean Will and my first time was over practically before it began," Christina says. "But that's okay. It only means he was just as excited as I was. I imagine it's normal but I don't have anyone to talk to about it. I was hoping I could talk to you." I think about her request and realize she actually makes a lot of sense.

"You have a point, Christina," I say. "Maybe one day I'll be comfortable enough with the subject to talk to you about it."

"You can talk to me about it or ask me anything anytime you want to," she says, happy that I'm considering opening up to her. I sigh.

"Our first time was ... wonderful but somehow, unbelievably, it gets better each time we do it," I quietly say. "And you're right, it was more than once this morning." Color floods my cheeks at my admission. I can't believe I just told her that.

"Thanks for letting me in," she says with a grin on her face. She doesn't ask any more questions sensing my restraint. She just hands me a mirror, and I look at my newest tattoo. The larger raven is in perfect proportion to my others, flying exactly over my heart. She rubs ointment over it, puts a bandage on it, and tells me to leave it on overnight.

We head out of the tattoo parlor and down the path to the boutique. Zoe gives me a frown when she sees me walk in with Christina but doesn't say anything to either of us. I head into a private dressing room, and Christina disappears into the backroom to retrieve the dress she set aside for me. When she comes back, my mouth drops open. In her arms is the most beautiful floor-length light cornflower blue gown I've ever seen. Actually it's the first cornflower blue gown I've ever seen. She also has a pair of 3-inch white jewel-decorated strappy sandals and a white mask that's adorned with the same white jewels that are on the shoes. I'm totally stunned to see a color other than black, gray, or the occasional red.

"The masquerade ball gowns and dresses are every color of the rainbow, Tris," Christina says, knowing exactly what's running through my mind. "I thought this color would look good on you with your blonde hair and blue-gray eyes. Go ahead, try it on."

She tells me to put the shoes on first or the dress will puddle on the floor around my feet making it hard for me to walk, not that 3-inch heels won't make it hard for me to walk. _What is she trying to do, make me sprain my ankle again?_ After I put the shoes on, with Christina's help, I step into the dress, and she slides it up my body. It's strapless and tightfitting across my bust and waist. The silky fabric of the bodice is slightly stretchy and feels like someone wrapped it tightly around my chest giving it the perfect fit. Hundreds of cut crystals the exact same color of the dress have been hand sewn onto the bodice eliminating the need for a bra. The bodice comes down to my natural waist then flares out dramatically. There are four long slits up the dress just on the outside of each leg on the front and back that come above my knees. There are approximately a dozen sheer panels in the same color as the dress, each approximately 6 inches wide, gathered at the waist and hanging down to just above the floor creating the illusion of a fuller skirt. A wide cornflower blue ribbon one shade darker than the rest of the dress hides where the skirt and panels attach to the bodice. I take a few steps and realize the slits make it so the dress isn't restrictive, and the sheer panels make it so I don't feel self-conscious about showing more skin than I'm used to.

She hands me the mask, and I just stare at its magnificent beauty for a moment. It's absolutely exquisite and definitely one of a kind. I put the mask up to my face and slide the elastic band over my head to hold it in place. It seems like this mask has been molded specifically to fit my face. It's made of a stiff yet pliable fabric the same shape as every other masquerade mask I've ever seen except it's adorned with hundreds of little sparkly white jewels of different shapes and sizes set in an elaborate floral pattern. You have to look closely to see the white fabric beneath the crystals. On the left side of the mask are three white, silver, and cornflower blue feathers curving gently up and away from the mask hugging my head gently. Whoever made this mask is a master craftsman.

"What do you think?" I say to Christina, turning so she can see me from every angle.

" _I_ think it's perfect," she says. "But more importantly, what do _you_ think?"

"Perfection is an understatement, Christina. Zoe shouldn't have doubted you. I definitely will take it," I say. Then I examine myself closely in the mirror, turning this way and that. "Do you think I should get a lighter shade of lingerie? I don't _think_ I can see the black through it but it's probably better to be safe than sorry. Wait, do you even carry other colors?" I look at her, and she rolls her eyes at me.

"Yes, Tris," she says, laughing. "We have every color you could imagine. Do you want something the same color as the dress?"

"Yes or lighter. Do you think I need a bra?"

"Not really but all of our lingerie come as a set." She leaves me in the dressing room for a moment while she goes to pick out a set that's appropriate for the dress. I take the mask off and set it aside. I'm sitting on the chair taking off the shoes when she comes back in with the perfect lacy pale blue bra and boy shorts. She then helps me out of the stunning ball gown. I get redressed then pay for all my items and Tobias' matching costume. He's going to look dazzling in the white tux with bow tie, cummerbund, and mask that match the cornflower blue of my dress and white shoes.

Christina carries my bags to my apartment for me as we discuss how my hair should be styled the night of the ball. She suggests adding long extensions, which she can easily do the day of the masquerade ball, then doing a curly updo or cascade the curls over one shoulder. I'm sure whatever she decides will be perfect. After dropping my purchases off, we head back down to the cafeteria for a late lunch. By the time we sit down at our table, most everyone else has gone back to work. Tobias, Zeke, and Will are the only ones sitting at the table, and Tobias is the only one who's still eating. Christina and I both grab a plate, and I quickly eat, suddenly realizing just how hungry I am. I hear Tobias chuckle, and I blush knowing the reason for my increased appetite. I usually don't have cake at lunch but today I get myself and Tobias both a slice.

"Hungry, Tris?" Will asks, noticing my indulgence. I try my best not to blush again and quickly answer his question. I can feel Tobias' silent laughter beside me.

"Yeah. I didn't have much of a breakfast, and Christina and I have been walking all over the compound. I'm not used to it yet."

"Why're you laughing, Four?" Zeke asks, narrowing his eyes at his best friend.

"I don't think her appetite has anything to do with walking around the compound," Christina says, smirking. That does it. Color floods my cheeks.

"I don't get it," Zeke says. Usually he's quicker than this. Out of the corner of my eye I see Will give Christina a questioning look then realization sets in on his face.

"That's why you two were late to work this morning? Sorry, I shouldn't have mentioned anything," Will says, embarrassed himself.

"Seriously, what's going on?" Zeke says. I'm really surprised Shauna didn't tell him about my admission the night of Tobias' attack or if she did he just isn't putting two and two together.

"Four and Tris worked up an appetite this morning, Zeke," Christina says, speaking to him like he's the slowest person she's ever met.

"Shit, you two were having sex?" Zeke yells much too loud for my liking. I see several eyes from neighboring tables land on us, and I blush a deeper shade of red. Tobias exhales irritably.

"Do you want to say that just a _little_ bit louder, Ezekiel," Tobias says. "I think there are some people in the compound who didn't hear you."

"Sorry, man," he says. "I didn't mean to shout. That news just surprised me. I thought you two were being Stiffs and waiting." At that comment Tobias narrows his eyes at his best friend. If he hadn't told Will and Christina his secret earlier today, Zeke would have just revealed it. "Oh, shit, man. I did it again, didn't I?"

"Almost, but Will and Christina know about me," he says. Then he sternly adds, "You have to watch it though, Zeke. Don't make me sorry I trusted you."

"I sincerely apologize, Four. It won't happen again," Zeke says, genuinely sounding sorry.

"Christina," I say, remembering her yelling my given name while pounding on our front door this morning. "I didn't yell at you for screaming my name through the door this morning. Was that absolutely necessary?"

"Yes it was. You weren't going to answer, admit it. I thought that would get your attention," she smirks at me again, and I blush once again remembering what she interrupted.

"What's your full name?" Zeke asks. He's so full of curiosity today.

"Beatrice," I slowly say. He looks at me, studying my face for a long time, making me a little uncomfortable.

"You definitely look more like a Tris than a Beatrice. What made you change it?" he asks.

"Four," I start to say but he interrupts me before I can continue.

"What, he didn't want to date someone named Beatrice?" he asks, laughing. I just look at him.

"I didn't even know her name was Beatrice at the time, Zeke," Tobias says. "Not until later that day."

"What? You never told me that," I say.

"I finally figured out who you were at lunch, when I told you to be careful," he says smiling at the memory. "When I said your name something inside me clicked, and I knew who you were, Beatrice Prior."

"Finish your story, Tris," Christina says.

"When Four pulled me out of the net he asked my name. I paused because I really didn't feel like Beatrice anymore, and he told me I could choose a new name but only once," I say, smiling up into Tobias' sparkling eyes. "I thought a new name for a new life was appropriate, so I chose Tris."

"I'd always wondered why you introduced yourself to me on the train as Beatrice then Four called you Tris at lunch but I didn't want to seem nosy or too Candor," Christina says. We laugh at her honesty.

"I figured out who you were from the Erudite reports Peter was always going on and on about," Will adds.

"Wait, are you Andrew Prior's daughter?" Zeke asks. Okay, he _is_ the slowest person I've ever met. I've just never noticed before.

"Yes, Zeke, Beatrice _Prior_ ," I say with a chuckle. "My dad is Andrew Prior, a member of the Abnegation council and their representative to the leaders council. My family was a target of Erudite's gossip after my brother and I chose different factions other than Abnegation." I say all that like I would say the word duh.

"Andrew Prior is the new leader of Abnegation, Tris. Haven't you heard? Marcus Eaton was thrown off the council today but gets to maintain his residency in Abnegation, although from what I've heard, it was only by a narrow margin. The reports are sketchy right now as to what happened but there's supposed to be a formal announcement later today," Zeke says. I look at Tobias.

"I was going to talk to you about it after lunch. Your dad called while you were with Christina," he says but he quickly changes the subject, making me suspicious. There's obviously more to the story. "I assume you got a dress."

"Yes, I did. I also got your outfit. Christina is a savant when it comes to picking out clothes for people. If the boutique ever needs a new manager, I suggest she get the position," I say.

"Awe, that's sweet, Tris," she says. "I should probably go check on the maintenance workers and see if everything is coming together in the auditorium as I envisioned." She gives Will a quick kiss then heads out of the cafeteria. Out of the corner of my eye, I see Peter staring at me and I sigh.

"What's wrong?" Tobias asks, concern lighting his face. I glance in Peter's direction, and he follows my gaze. "I'm going to put a stop to this right now," he says, anger in his voice. I grab his arm as he tries to get up and shake my head at him.

"I'll see what he wants," I say. "Please stay here. Trust me." I give him a lingering kiss then get up from my table and walk over to Peter. It looks like he's choking on something when he sees me approaching.

"Can I help you with something, Peter? You've been staring at me, and to tell you the truth, it's a bit creepy," I say.

"Maybe your friends shouldn't announce to the entire cafeteria that you and your boyfriend were having sex this morning," he says with an evil glint in his eye. Instead of being shy or embarrassed at his statement, it makes me angry.

"Jealous that I _have_ a sex life?" I say. He obviously was expecting the little girl from initiation who wouldn't stand up to him and not the woman standing before him because he seems disappointed by my reaction. He looks over my shoulder and shrinks back a little telling me Tobias is looking our way. "Seriously, Peter, do you want something. I've noticed for weeks now how you seem to be watching my every move. What gives?" I hope I'm not giving away too much information at the moment but I'm sick of it, and maybe I can get him to slip up and tell me something useful.

"I was looking at you just now because of Zeke's comment. I don't watch you any other time. Get over yourself," he says, scoffing at me.

"Yeah right," I say. "Whatever. If you decide to tell me what it is you want, let me know." I go back to my table and sit down next to Tobias. "He's an ass. Oh, and thanks, Zeke. He heard your comment, and God only knows what is going on in that psycho head of his."

"Sorry, Tris," Zeke says bashfully.

"Did he say something to you?" Tobias says.

"Nothing I couldn't handle. I'll tell you more later," I say. "Shall we go back to your office? I want to hear what my dad had to say."

"Sure. Hey Will, do you happen to know who's on patrol today?" Tobias asks. Will pulls out his phone and opens a screen.

"Mike, Nick, and Amber are patrolling the compound and Josh, Brandi, and Matt are patrolling the grounds. Why?" Tobias stalls, obviously not wanting to answer Will's question.

"What's going on?" I ask.

"Let's go to my office, both of you. Some threats have been made against Tris, and I want to make sure the patrols know exactly who to look out for," he says, surprising us both, although I can guess who made the threats, Marcus.


	56. Chapter 56

Tobias refuses to explain the situation further until we are safely behind closed doors. Tobias, Will, and I make the long trek from the Pit up to the Pire to Tobias' office. We patiently wait for Tori to finish the tattoo she's working on before we start the emergency meeting. I should say Tobias and Will are patiently waiting. I'm trying to get Tobias to tell me about the threat but he won't budge. Then I ask him to tell me about my dad and his conversation but he tells me it goes hand-in-hand with the threat information and I just need to wait.

I sit across from his desk pouting, realizing I'm not a very patient person anymore. How in the world did that happen? I was extremely patient growing up in Abnegation. I had to be. I guess it's just one more way Dauntless has changed me but this isn't a very good change. I'm going to have to work on patience. I sit staring at the clock thinking about different scenarios, wondering which one will be closest to Tobias' story.

Finally, Tori walks in and the meeting starts. Surprisingly, the first thing Tobias does is tell Tori about his childhood. I learn she is the one who administered his aptitude test, so I'm only partially surprised when he says she already knows his name is Tobias and he came from Abnegation. Maybe telling his story to our friends is the first step to him being open and honest with everyone. Then he gets into the phone call he received from my dad this morning.

"Tris' dad, Andrew, called me this morning telling me my father has been voted off the council, which didn't surprise me," he says. I can see telling his story twice in one day has taken its toll on him so I decide to tell the others what I know of this part of the story.

"I'm sure you remember Four and I went to talk to my dad yesterday after our meeting and give him the sketches of Hana's assailants, Cameron's picture, Jason and Jared's photos, and what information we have on the situation." Tori and Will nod at me. "Unfortunately, Marcus followed my mom into the meeting having heard Four was in the building. You see, Marcus likes showing everyone he can what a _wonderful_ _parent_ he is all the while throwing little jabs Four's way. He also knows how to push my buttons and loves doing it, and he did just that yesterday. My parents went to get two other council members to let them know about Cameron and left us alone with Marcus, and I let him get to me. I don't want to repeat what it was he said because it was ..."

"Vile," says Tobias, interrupting me. I look at him and nod. I can't disagree with that assessment.

"What none of us knew was my parents, Matthew, and Jonah came back in the room at that _exact_ moment and heard what Marcus said to Four. At first I thought everyone was upset with me because I was fighting with Marcus but they weren't. When my mom slapped him across the face, I didn't know what was going on until everyone acknowledged they heard what he said. I have to be honest, in that moment I was relieved and quite elated. I didn't even care that a room full of people had just heard what he said about me. Other people, _important_ Abnegation people, had finally seen who Marcus Eaton really was. They escorted him out of the building after telling him he was going to be removed from the council. He isn't very happy with me. He blames _me_ for what's happening to him right now instead of looking inward and realizing this is entirely _his_ fault." I've told as much of the story I know so I turn the floor back over to Tobias.

"After Tris and I left, her dad called an emergency council meeting. You see, her mom remembered where she had seen Cameron. She saw him at a _closed_ council meeting. First, they talked about Cameron infiltrating their meeting, and they are keeping an eye out for him. They went over their notes and can't imagine he learned anything valuable sitting in on that particular meeting but if he sat in on one, it's possible he's sat in on others.

"Then they turned their attention to Marcus and his behavior. Against my wishes, it was decided they would take a vote to make him factionless as well as remove him from the council. The vote to remove him from the council was unanimous. The vote to make him factionless went his way, barely, and he maintains his membership in Abnegation. At the same time, Andrew was nominated for Marcus' position, and the vote was held. It was unanimous also. Andrew, Matthew, and Jonah went to Marcus' house to deliver the news, and that's when he threatened Tris."

"What exactly did Marcus say?" I ask.

"Andrew didn't elaborate on the exact threat or even if there was a specific one made but Marcus blames you for losing his position on the council, which he viewed as the most important thing in his life, and almost becoming factionless. He not only told us that but he reiterated it to Matthew, Jonah, and your dad," he says meeting my gaze. "Andrew was _very_ angry when I spoke to him this morning, and you know how unusual that is for our old faction. It's just my opinion, but I think he's scared for you, Tris."

"I'm still glad Abnegation knows about Marcus, but I'm sorry I brought this down on us. That wasn't my intention. He just knows how to push my buttons," I say.

"I don't want to take any chances. I _know_ what kind of man he is, and I know what he's capable of," Tobias says, all business. He meets my eyes for a moment, and I see fear in them. He's really scared his father will follow through on the unknown threat and hurt me. "I want extra patrols, and we are going to double the number on each patrol. This isn't just about Tris either. I should have done this after Daniel Parks' assault. We need to catch Cameron and whoever else is doing this and get some answers. I don't want another Dauntless member hurt on my watch. Will, coordinate with Shauna please." Will immediately pulls a list of names up on his phone and starts making some calls.

"Within the hour Mike, Nick, and Amber will be joined by Josh, Brandi, and Matt inside and I'm having Shauna send Smith, Megan, Jimmy, Lee, Wanda, and Reggie to patrol the grounds," Will says. "They're all familiar with Marcus Eaton and know what he looks like, Four. I told them to be vigilant and to also keep an eye out for Cameron or anyone else who doesn't seem to fit in. Shauna and I will make a new schedule for the patrol officers. Do you still want one stationed at Jason's door?"

"No, I want two there at all times until we can move him to a cell," Tobias says. Will makes that note and this time sends a few texts out.

"It's taken care of," he says.

"Andrew told us yesterday we can assign the ambassadors permanent factions so Tori, you and I need to get on that as soon as possible then gather them for a meeting and give them their new assignments. Actually, Abnegation has been wanting this change for a while now but the old leaders wouldn't hear of it," Tobias says. He picks up a folder on his desk and thumbs through it a bit then adds, "Andrew gave me some incident reports I really haven't had a chance to go through but we'll have to take them into account when making our decisions. Abnegation already has a problem with Peter. If I find anything at all in this file that can be used to get him out of Dauntless, I'm going to make him factionless." I know that Tobias doesn't like Peter but this is news to me. "Will you check on the patrols, Will? Tori do you need to go back to the tattoo parlor?" She nods at him. "We'll make the assignments tomorrow morning then. Will you contact all the ambassadors between customers and tell them we'll have a meeting tomorrow night at 5:30 p.m. in the conference room? Tris, I need to talk to you." I guess that's Tobias' way of ending the meeting, and Tori and Will get up and leave us alone.

"What do you need, Tobias," I say.

"What did Peter say to you at lunch?" he asks.

"He told me my friends shouldn't announce to the entire cafeteria we were having sex this morning," I say, a blush coloring my cheeks.

"I really wish I could put him in his place," he says with a scowl. "Did he say anything else?"

"Not really. I tried to get him to tell me why he's always watching me, but he told me he never watches me and to get over myself. I hope I didn't give away too much," I say to him. Tobias sighs and leans back in his chair looking haggard. I go to him, and he pulls me down onto his lap. I wrap my arms tightly around him, worry coursing through me. "What's wrong, Tobias?"

"I'm stressed right now with everything that's going on," he says. I look in his eyes for a moment. He looks weary.

"I'm sorry," I say, caressing his face. "Because of me you had to tell your story twice today. You must be upset with me."

"No, not at all," he says, shaking his head, a slight frown on his lips. He takes my face between his hands and puts his mouth on mine and kisses me softly. "I didn't tell Will, Christina, and Tori my story because of you. I did it for me. It wasn't easy but it felt good to open up to others. I'm just worried about you and about Dauntless. I'm wondering what we should do about the baby. I just have a lot on my mind, and I feel ... scattered. I don't like feeling this way."

"Why don't you take the afternoon off and do something for yourself. Go for a run or to the training room. That always makes me feel better when I'm stressed. I'll be shut up in my office all afternoon going through a month's worth of incident reports then filing them so I'll be fine," I say. "Go. Take care of yourself this afternoon. Everyone needs some alone time once in a while. Don't feel guilty for needing to get away. Last night was extremely rough on both of us. Go!" He places his lips on mine again and kisses me thoughtfully but thoroughly. When my heart starts racing, I make myself pull away from him.

"I love you, Six," he whispers in my ear. Finally he releases me, and I get off his lap. "I'm going up to the apartment and change into some workout clothes then I'm going to the training room. I'll take my phone with me. Text or call if you need something or if Will or Tori needs me."

We go out into the hallway, and he kisses me again. He goes through the nondescript door that leads to our apartment, and I lock myself in my glass office. I'm so absorbed in the files spread out in front of me I don't see him head toward the training room.

I work the rest of the afternoon pouring over every single word in the incident reports, analyzing whether they are important or not. The only report that warrants a follow-up is from Samaire Towne who witnessed her boyfriend, Daniel Parks' assault just days after Tobias and I were named Dauntless leaders. Her report states that the day before Christmas she thought she saw one of the men who attacked Daniel hanging around by the tracks when she walked Daniel to catch the train to the fence for work. The only odd thing was the man wasn't wearing Dauntless black. The patrol person who took the report dismissed Samaire since she told him the man was wearing Erudite blue but passed on the information anyway. It's a good thing he did. Hopefully, she can give us some new information. I make a note to tell Tobias about this finding and follow up with Samaire within the next couple days. I enter all the information from each incident report in my computer then take the hard copies to Tobias' office to file them. When I come out of his office, I see him heading through the door to our apartment.

"What are the totes for?" I ask him, looking at the two black plastic storage bins he's carrying. He spins around at the sound of my voice, relief crossing his face and smiles at me.

"Where were you?" he asks.

"In your office filing the incident reports," I say. "Do you need help with those?"

"No. They aren't heavy," he says, looking down at the storage bins in his hand. "They're to store the Christmas tree decorations. We have to get the tree down to the curb by midnight New Year's Day or the city won't haul it away. I thought we'd get a head start and take the tree down tonight unless you had another idea."

"I need about an hour with Christina after supper. She wants to do something with my hair for the masquerade ball. After that, I'm all yours," I say, taking one of the bins from him anyway and following him up the stairs to our apartment. "Did you have a nice afternoon?"

"I needed the time in the training room," he says, an edge to his voice. I furrow my eyebrows and look up at him. He seems a bit ... off. "How about we get up early tomorrow and swim a couple laps in the pool? I miss our morning workouts."

"That sounds like a good idea. I miss them too. Hopefully, I can drag myself out of bed that early," I say with a chuckle. He laughs with me.

"You really didn't have to help with that," he says taking the tote out of my hand and placing it by the tree. "Ready for supper?"

"Yes, but I have one thing to tell you first. When I was going through the incident reports, Samaire Towne reported she thinks she saw one of the men who attacked Daniel Parks hanging around by the train tracks last Thursday but he was dressed in blue instead of black," I say. "I can tell the patrol member who took the report didn't believe her. We'll have to talk to her soon."

"I'll send her a message to meet us tomorrow afternoon. Tori and I have to get the ambassador assignments made. The quicker we can eliminate any of Peter's business dealings with Erudite the better."

We're a little early going to supper and are the first ones at our table in the cafeteria. We each fill a plate full of food and grab another slice of cake. We smile at each other when we notice we are still both famished. We are halfway through our meal when the others start to join us. All conversation is on Marcus being removed from the council. It doesn't surprise me this is the big news of the day. I look at Tobias when the subject of his father comes up, but he looks as if it isn't bothering him, although I know him well enough to know better. I wish there was a way to change the subject. During a particularly heated exchange about Marcus and the council between Uriah and Dante, Tobias tells me he's going home. I ask if he's okay, and he assures me he is. He kisses me, a little longer than he normally does while we're in the public's eye then leaves the cafeteria. He really has me worried.

I grab Christina's attention and ask if it's okay for me to go swimming tomorrow morning with the new tattoo, and she assures me it will be fine. I continue with my super until I can't stand the sound of Marcus' name for one more moment. I ask Christina if she's ready to go to the salon and she nods. After she kisses Will goodbye, we get up from the table and start walking toward the floor of the Pit but before we make it out of the cafeteria I see Nathan, Dru, and Callen sitting at a table. I tell her I need to talk to them, and we walk up to their table. I say hello and introduce Christina to each of them.

"Nathan, Four and I wanted to invite you and your family to our place Saturday night at 7:30 p.m. for supper," I say. He looks at Dru and she nods.

"Thank you, Tris. That would be nice," he says. "Is there anything we can bring?"

"Just yourselves," I say. "We're in apartment 13. Do you know where that is?"

"I was at Max's once for a party so I think I can remember how to get there," he says. I wonder momentarily why a fence worker would be at a leader's party but shake it off before confusion settles on my face.

"I won't keep you from your meal any longer," I say with a smile. "We look forward to seeing all of you Saturday night."

I follow Christina into the salon, and she works on putting the extensions in my hair as she gets me up-to-date on what she has done for the masquerade ball. After she has told me everything she is willing to tell me about the ball, she asks about Marcus.

"Why was Marcus replaced by your dad, Tris?" she asks. I look around the salon, and there are people _everywhere_. I don't feel comfortable telling the story in front of eavesdropping Dauntless members.

"Will knows the entire story," I say. "Is it okay if he tells you when you get home?" I actually see a woman at the next station frown when I say this. She must have been looking forward to hearing _my_ account of his removal.

"Oh, of course," she says. "I totally understand why you don't want to say anything here. There are too many nosy Dauntless hanging around." I meet her eyes in the mirror and can't help but smile. That was a total Candor thing to say right there, and she knows it.

"I couldn't button the first pair of pants I put on this morning," she says matter-of-factly, catching me off guard. "I had to put this pair of stretchy pants on." She motions to her legs. "I'm getting fat."

"Christina," I say with a disapproving tone. "You're _not_ getting fat. You have a person growing inside of you."

"I know," she says with a sigh.

"Is it really bothering you that your clothes are getting too tight?" I ask, hoping I didn't offend her with my tone.

"I don't know," she says. "I think it's _all_ the changes my body is going through right now. I haven't told you this but I get sick right before lunch everyday like clockwork. Nothing sets it off anymore. I just get incredibly nauseous, run to the bathroom, and puke. It's lovely. When I couldn't button my pants this morning, I actually cried. I have no idea why but I did. When Will tried to comfort me, I threw a bottle of perfume at him. He had to take three showers before I could stand to be in the same room with him."

"Hormones?" I ask.

"Yes," she says. "It's like I'm on a rollercoaster ride. One minute I'm up and happy, absolutely nothing bothers me. Then I come down and want to cry about _everything_. Then I turn a corner and feel like killing random people with my Dauntless skills. Knives, guns, my bare hands ... it doesn't matter. It's a nightmare. I wonder why Erudite hasn't come up with a cure for this. Those damn brainiacs are good for nothing." I try not to laugh out loud because I don't want her trying to kill _me_ with her Dauntless skills but it's hard. She's acting a bit irrational at the moment. I decide to change the subject.

"How long are you making my hair?" I ask trying to get her mind off the pregnancy and her changing body.

"Quite long actually," she says. Just then she turns me around and announces it's done. That was fast. It's only been half-an-hour. I note my hair is long, straight, and hanging down beyond the middle of my back. It's longer than it was before she cut it. I ask her to French braid it so it will be easier to manage and she does. I pay her then we walk out of the Pit and up to our apartments. We say goodnight in the hallway and go to our separate spaces.

"Hi, I'm home," I say coming into our apartment. I take my phone out of my pocket and check all the messages before I put it on the charger for the night.

"Hey," he says from the couch as I close our apartment door and lock it behind me. "Wow! Your hair is _so_ long."

"She has some wild hairdo in mind for Thursday night. I didn't realize the extensions were going to be this long," I say. "I invited Nathan, Dru, and Callen to supper Saturday night. I hope that's okay? Hey, have you had a chance to look into any of their backgrounds? Nathan told me he was at a party at Max's once but isn't he just a fence worker. Why would a fence worker be at a leader's party?"

"I think he's a fence worker, but I haven't checked into their backgrounds. Maybe we should before they come over Saturday," he replies. He gets up off the couch, walks over to where I'm standing, and wraps his arms around my waist. "Let's lock the outside world away tonight and not think about anything other than what's in this room right now." He moves his hands to either side of my face and lowers his lips to mine. I place my hands on his chest as I kiss him.

"I love you," I say when he pulls back.

"I love you," he says with a smile. "Shall we get started on the tree?" We go to the slightly wilting Christmas tree, and he opens one of the storage boxes. He shows me how it stores the ornaments and lights. We gently place the many ornaments in individual slots in a grid that stacks to fill the box. When I take my Ferris wheel ornament off the tree, I stand and stare at it. A sigh escapes my lips and Tobias looks my way.

"I hate the idea of hiding this away in a box and only seeing it once a year, Tobias," I say looking up at him, a frown crossing my lips.

"I have an idea," he says taking the delicate ornament out of my hands. He looks around the apartment then moves toward the bookshelf that sits on the left side of the door and gently places it on one of the shelves. I move up next to him and put my arm around his waist, as he slides his around my shoulder.

"It's perfect," I say. Then I look up at him. "Thank you again. I love that Ferris wheel." He meets my eyes, and I recall our adventure the night of capture the flag. I imagine that's what is going through his mind right now also. We continue to stare deeply into each other's eyes until he groans.

"We better get back to the tree, Tris." We let each other go and take the remaining ornaments off the tree and tuck them into the storage boxes. Then Tobias unwraps the cranberry tinsel we strung and tosses it in the trashcan. Next he unwraps the lights from around the tree. He hands me one strand, and I wrap it around the spool in the top of the storage box while he does the same with the second strand in his box. I neatly fold the Christmas tree skirt and place it in the box that isn't full of ornaments. I carry a box upstairs to our spare room closet, and when I come back downstairs Will and Tobias are carrying the tree out the door. I carry the other box and the tree stand upstairs and put them in the closet. I'm sweeping up the dead needles when he comes back into the apartment.

"It looks bare in here without the tree," he says with a frown on his face.

"I know and I'm going to miss the lights. They were relaxing and so beautiful," I say putting the broom and dustpan away. "Shall we go to bed?"

"That sounds good," he says. He meets me at the steps after I turn off the lights, and he gently sweeps me up into his arms.

"How about that shower I promised you," he says, his mouth next to my ear. I immediately tense in his arms thinking about my new tattoo, and he feels my reluctance. "Is something wrong, Tris?"

"I'll have to show you why I can't take a shower tonight," I say to him. After carrying me up the stairs, he sits me on my feet in front of our bed then flips the light on. I look up into his cautious eyes and slowly take my shirt off over my head avoiding the bandage on my chest. "Christina says I can't take this off until morning, and I can't get it wet."

"You got the tattoo?" he says, emotion thick in his voice. I nod at him. He closes the distance between us, and his mouth roughly lands on mine. I didn't realize how important this tattoo was to him. He kisses me passionately, electricity zinging between us the entire time. I break away from him and look up into his loving eyes.

"Make love to me, Tobias," I breathlessly say and he does. Every movement is synchronized, heartbeat to heartbeat, mouth to mouth, touch to touch, flesh to flesh, soul to soul, the way it's meant to be.


	57. Chapter 57

A strangled scream pierces the silence of the night, jolting me awake. Tobias is lying beside me thrashing about, sweat pouring off of him in buckets. I realize he's having a nightmare, and the fog of sleep lifts immediately.

"Tobias," I say. "Wake up. You're dreaming." He keeps twisting beneath the sheets, a look of terror on his face. I put my hands on his shoulders and lightly shake him. "Tobias! Wake up, _please_." I suddenly realize tears are sliding down my cheek. He hasn't had a nightmare since the first days we spent together at his old apartment when he would sleep on the floor or couch and let me have his bed. To my knowledge, he hasn't had a single nightmare since we started sleeping in the same bed together. I shake him again, and he bolts upright, gasping for air. He looks around the dark room confused.

"You were having a nightmare, Tobias," I quietly say. "Whatever it was, it wasn't real. You're okay." I assume he was dreaming of Marcus and the abuse he suffered for all those years at his hands since he shared the story of his childhood with Will, Christina, and Tori. Abruptly he grabs me and roughly pulls me into the protective circle of his arms. I wrap myself around him, comforting him. I can't stand it when he's in pain. I tell him again it was only a dream.

"Thank God," he says. "It was just a dream and you're okay." He holds me tight, gasping for air, and I can feel his heart hammering in his muscled chest.

"What were you dreaming about?" I ask.

"Oh, it was nothing. Why don't you go back to sleep. I'm sorry I woke you," he says. "I'm going downstairs to get a drink." He releases me from his arms and slips out of bed. He pulls on a pair of pajama bottoms before going down to the kitchen.

I lie in bed wondering when he will return because I find it hard to fall asleep without his arms around me. I look at the clock and see that a half-hour has passed, and he still hasn't come back to bed. I roll out of bed, go to the closet, and slide into my silky robe then go looking for him. I find him sitting in the middle of the couch huddled over, elbows on his knees, and his face in his hands.

"Tobias, what's wrong?" I ask sitting down next to him, rubbing my hand up and down his back. He looks up at me with a grave look on his face.

"I went through my fear landscape today after I was in the training room. It had been a while, and I wanted to see if anything changed," he says leaning back into the plush cushions of the couch.

"Are you still Four?" I ask, trying to lighten the mood.

"Yeah," he says, but he can't muster a smile. "I still have four fears but they aren't the same anymore."

"Please tell me what has you so upset, Tobias," I say. He takes a deep breath then groans.

"You're my greatest fear, Tris," he solemnly says. Pain spasms through me, and I can't hold back a gasp. "Oh, God! I'm sorry, love. Let me rephrase that. _Losing_ _you_ is my greatest fear." He pulls me close and kisses the top of my head. "The simulation was so real. I heard you screaming at the chasm. I came around the corner to see Peter, Drew, and Al dangling you over the railing just like that terrible night. You were calling out for me, begging me to help you over and over then suddenly I was held in place by Eric and Marcus. They were relentless, I couldn't move a muscle. Then with an evil look on his face that bastard Peter tells the others to let you go, and I watch you fall. It was horrible not being able to do anything, to just stand there and watch you fall to your death." I lean back and look into his eyes.

"It was only a simulation, Tobias. You saved me from them that night. Remember that. Hold on to _that_ ," I say kissing his lips lightly. "I'm right here." He sighs and pulls me into his arms once again.

"That isn't the only fear that changed, Tris. I'm still afraid of heights and confinement, that hasn't changed but I'm no longer scared _of_ Marcus ... I'm scared of _becoming_ Marcus," he quietly says into my hair. That's absurd, Tobias is _nothing_ like Marcus. "You and I were here in the kitchen making supper. It was surreal. I was looking around wondering what was so scary about the situation. Before I could finish the thought a little girl about 10 years old, who looked like the perfect mixture of us, dark brown curls, bluish-gray eyes, absolutely beautiful, came running down the stairs dressed all in Dauntless black, laughing. When she saw me she stopped dead in her tracks and looked at me with such fear in her eyes. I recognized that fear, Tris. It was the same fear I had when I would look at Marcus when he was angry. She bowed her head and said, 'I'm sorry, Daddy. I won't ever run down the stairs again. Please don't be mad at me again.' Then I saw my reflection in the window, and it was Marcus, not me. I had to calm myself for the simulation to move on. I tried talking to her but it only made me more upset. Those two things I faced this afternoon in my fear landscape were worse than all the beatings Marcus put me through combined." I suddenly realize that his fear landscape is why he was off this afternoon.

"Tobias Eaton, first of all, you are nothing at all like Marcus," I say, taking his face between my hands and staring deep into his sad eyes. "You would never put someone you love through what he put you through, especially your own child. Of all the fears and reservations about adopting your sister or having children in general, you turning into your father and being abusive has never ... _will_ never be one. You will be a wonderful father one day."

"I know I won't allow myself to turn out like him but deep down the fear exists all the same. How do I get rid of it?" he asks. "There is something I've never told you, Tris, something I'm not proud of. When I get into a fight and allow the control to slip away I _like_ the feeling of power it gives me beating the other person into submission. What does that say about me? Doesn't that make me just like Marcus?"

"It says that you're a normal Dauntless member to me," I say, shrugging my shoulders. "You can't let it define who you are, Tobias. Do you remember when I beat Molly?"

"Yes, how could I forget? You were like a wholly different person that day," he says with a grim look on his face. "I didn't know who you were, and seeing you that way scared me. I didn't like it at all. I wanted _my_ Tris back, and you weren't even mine yet."

"Do you know what happened that day, what led to me becoming so aggressive?" I whisper.

"No," he says, shaking his head. "I figured you would tell me one day when you were ready." I think back to that day and rage surges through my veins. I have to take a few deep, calming breaths before I can continue.

"I was getting dressed in the girl's bathroom but my pants wouldn't go on over the new muscles in my legs. I had no other choice but to wrap a towel around myself and head to the dorm, hoping and praying the entire way it would be empty but Peter, Drew, and Molly were there along with some of the other transfers laughing and having a good time. I made my way to my bunk hoping they would just ignore me for once and got the dress Christina made me buy when I first came here. When I stood back up Peter was there," I say, lost in the memory. "He blocked my path with his arm but I saw that if I ducked underneath it, I could still make it to the bathroom. Then the other's gathered around us, and Drew and Molly were making rude comments and making fun of me. Peter grabbed my towel as I ducked underneath his arm trying to make my escape, and I ran for the bathroom while everyone in the dorm laughed at me. I was mortified because half the transfers saw me naked. I got to the bathroom and cried but then I realized that I was mostly just pissed off and the tears evaporated. So I put on the dress, went to the Pit, and got some new clothes. That's why I was nearly late to the training room that day. I was hoping that Peter's name would be next to mine. I was only slightly disappointed to see Molly's instead. She deserved what I gave her that day, and I liked how it made me feel in the moment but I didn't let it shape who I am. Yes, I got a bit carried away but it doesn't mean that when I have kids I'm going to abuse them."

"I could kill him, all of them, for doing that to you," he says in his scary Four voice. "I had no idea that's what happened that day. It's not really the same thing tough, Tris."

"In a way it is, Tobias. We all have our skeletons, and they help make us who we are. We just have to decide how we let them shape us," I say. "Tell me, when you've been angry with me have you ever had the urge to hit me or worse?"

"No," he says, appalled that I would ask such a question.

"So why do you think you would react that way to your child?" I say. "Why is that one of your greatest fears?"

"I guess I do have some doubts about becoming a father that I didn't even know I had. I just don't want to turn out like Marcus," he says. We are quiet for a moment before he continues. "Can we talk about the baby? I know we still have a few more days to make our decision but it's been weighing on my mind since she asked."

"Of course we can," I say. "Tell me what your reservations are."

"Until today in my fear landscape, I really didn't think I had any," he says. "What are your reservations?"

"Our age, how busy we are, all the trouble in Dauntless just to name a few. Do any of these things make you doubt this is the best time to bring a child into our lives?" He thinks about it for a while then shakes his head.

"No, they don't," he says. "I just can't imagine another sister being out in the world and me not knowing her."

"I'm afraid to ask this question, but I need to know your answer. If I say I can't ... _won't_ do this, what does that mean for us?" I ask. He frowns a bit and gets up off the couch and starts pacing.

"I honestly don't know," he says. "What if I tell you I'm adopting this little girl whether you want to or not? What then?" I melt into the couch cushions. I don't like where this conversation is heading. I just stare at him, a look of terror on my face, I imagine.

"Is that how it's going to be?" I quietly ask him, tears forming in my eyes. He rushes back to the couch and pulls me into his arms. We hold tight to each other. It's abundantly clear that neither one of us wants to lose the other so we have to end this impasse.

"No. We will make this decision together, Tris," he says. "Are all your thoughts about this negative?" I'm silent for a long time trying to gather my scattered thoughts.

"Not exactly," I say. "I can't stand to see you hurt, Tobias, and to think of you being in pain for the rest of your life because I don't want to do this kills me. I hope that makes sense."

"Of course it does." If only there was a way for me to know exactly how I feel.

"Tobias, I need to go through _my_ fear landscape," I say, suddenly excited. "This is just like when I pushed you away when you came home drunk. If I knew _exactly_ what it is I'm afraid of, I can ... we can face it head on, and if it isn't in my fear landscape at all then there really isn't anything to fear. Can we do it now?"

"Yeah. Come on let's get dressed," he says. We go back upstairs and hurriedly throw on some clothes.

"What was your dream about?" I ask on our way to the fear landscape room.

"It was the scene by the chasm just like in my fear landscape," he says with a shudder.

"Until you experienced it in your fear landscape today have you ever dreamed of that before?" I ask. I know I've dreamt of it, many times. He thinks for a while.

"No, it haven't. My nightmares always centered on Marcus until today."

"Peter, Drew, Al, Eric, and Marcus cannot hurt me," I say.

"Drew, Al, and Eric can't hurt you but that doesn't mean Peter and Marcus can't and won't," he says.

"You're right but I'm not going to allow them to do anything to me. I'm stronger than that now," I say. He wraps his arm around my shoulder and kisses the top of my head.

"That's my brave girl," he says so low I think he's talking to himself.

When we get to the fear landscape room he enters my data in the computer then walks over to me with the simulation serum. He asks if I'm ready, and I nod my head at him. He kisses me then inserts the needle into my neck and pushes the plunger down allowing my adrenaline-spiked blood to spread the serum throughout my body. After a minute the room fades, and I'm standing in the grassy field. Off in the distance a black cloud is moving toward me. _Damn_ c _rows_ , I think. My heart starts pounding in my chest. I kneel down in the tall grass and search for the gun. Finally I feel the familiar cool steel touch the palm of my hand, and I feel my hammering heart slow slightly. I grab the weapon and take aim. Crows start falling out of the sky.

Abruptly the gun is gone, and I'm in the big glass box with Tobias and my other friends gathered around on the other side laughing and carrying on. Simulation Tobias walks over to me and tells me to look down. When I do, the water is already covering my feet. I take a few deep breathes calming myself then think, "The glass is ice, the glass is ice, the glass is ice," and press my hands and feet firmly against the glass wall, and the glass shatters. Then everything goes dark.

All of a sudden I can't move. I look around, adjusting my eyes to the bright sunny day, and see that I'm tied to a stake in the middle of a log pile. Peter and many Dauntless members are in front of me. Peter has a merciless smile on his smug face. He saunters over to me and slowly lowers the torch to the wood under my feet, and my heart starts to race. I struggle with my bindings to no avail. I'm still tied in a fire. I look down at my feet and see the flames climbing closer to my flesh. Finally I feel the pain of flames on my feet, and I scream.

"Do you smell that, Stiff?" Peter says hatefully. "That's the smell of burning flesh." I take two deep breathes to steady my racing heart.

"No, I only smell rain," I say as a drop hits me on my forehead and slowly slides down my face. Then the sky opens up and rain pours down, dousing the flames.

Once again I'm standing in the dark. Soon my eyes adjust, and I see I'm in my bedroom at Abnegation. _Damn Peter, Drew, and Al for kidnapping me_ , I think. I close my eyes and take two deep breathes. When I slowly open my eyes I see the creepy man from the aptitude test and two faceless men at my window. I back up until I run into the closet doors then I slide them open and feel around for the gun. When the feel of cold steel registers, I wrap my fingers around the grip and fire at each of the men in succession hitting them in the forehead. The room goes dark.

My heart rate begins to slow as I'm standing in darkness. Then I feel the barrel of the gun touch my left temple and the feel of cold steel in my right hand. My heart rate picks up double time. I hear Jeanine Matthews' voice in my ear telling me to kill him or be killed when a spotlight rains down on Tobias who is tied to a chair, struggling. No, I can't lose him, I love him.

"I love you, Tobias," I say as I turn the gun in my hand on myself and pull the trigger. When the pain of the gunshot subsides I find myself sitting on the couch in my living room cuddled up next to Tobias. He has his arm around me and is absentmindedly playing with my hair. Both of our attention is 100% focused on the floor in front of us where a 6-month-old little girl with black curls and light blue eyes is sitting. My heart swells at the site of her. She looks _so_ much like Tobias. We are watching her play with the blocks that are scattered all around her when suddenly the door bursts open, and Evelyn and a faceless man marches in with two armed Dauntless guards. Tobias and I immediately spring up off the couch, and I grab my daughter up into my arms.

"What is going on here," Tobias says, addressing the security guards in his fierce Four voice. "You don't just barge into our home. We are your leaders."

"I'm sorry, Four, but we have papers authorizing this couple to take the girl," one of the guards says.

"You can't take my daughter," I shriek.

"She is _my_ daughter," Evelyn says.

"You gave her to us to raise," Tobias says, taking the papers from the guard. He reads them over as terror spreads through my veins. No one is taking my baby. I won't allow it. Tobias turns to me with such sadness in his eyes. "Tris, they have a court order to take her. We'll fight this but right now we have to give her to them."

"No," I scream at the top of my lungs causing my perfect baby to jump in my arms then cry. I hold her tight, lovingly shushing her, telling her Mommy is so sorry. "You can't have my baby." Tears spill down my cheeks as the guards come closer to me. Tobias steps between them and me.

"Tris, love, you have to give her to them. It's the law. If you don't they can arrest us, and we will never get her back. I _promise_ we will fight and bring her home. I won't let them get away with this," he says to me. Evelyn steps forward, and I reluctantly place my angel in her arms. Tobias holds me back as they leave with our daughter, and I collapse under the weight of her sudden departure.

Suddenly I find myself looking at the Dauntless painting on the back wall of the fear landscape room. I'm in a crumpled ball on the floor, tears rolling down my cheeks. Tobias runs to my side and pulls me into his arms. I cling to him as I cry. When I look up at him, I see tears in his eyes as well. Of all the fears I've had since Evelyn talked to Tobias about adopting his sister, this thought never once entered my mind. The idea of her taking the child back never once registered with me but I know one thing, I couldn't live through the pain.

"Are you alright, Tris?" he says, his voice unsteady. I know he was watching what I went through in the simulation. I wonder if he had ever thought of this fear either.

"I'm not sure, Tobias," I say my voice uneven. "She was so lovely, wasn't she? Evelyn really couldn't just take her away like that could she?" I don't even know what it is I'm saying at the moment. "I could feel how much I loved her. It was like I ripped my own heart out when I put her in Evelyn's arms. I couldn't go through that. I just..." The words are cut off by uncontrollable sobs racking my body. I can't control myself in this moment. He holds me tight, whispering words of love in my ear the entire time.


	58. Chapter 58

The alarm jolts me awake, and I reach over and hit the snooze button. I look around confused. How in the world did I get on Tobias' side of the bed? I hear him groan beside me but he doesn't move. Our conversation after his nightmare and our trek to the fear landscape room in the middle of the night exhausted us both. I lie on my back staring at the ceiling remembering every detail of my newest fear. Tears start swimming in my eyes when I think of having to give my perfect little girl to that horrible woman. I rub my eyes with the heels of my hands trying to erase the memory.

"Are you okay?" Tobias asks, looking at me from my side of the bed.

"Why are we on each other's side of the bed?" I ask, not ready to talk about my fear landscape yet.

"It took everything I had to get us back to the apartment," he says with a sigh. "Don't you remember? I'm surprised we aren't on the couch to tell you the truth. You were a mess, Tris, and I wasn't much better." I take a deep breath and look into his worried eyes.

"No, Tobias," I slowly whisper. "I don't _ever_ want to experience something like that in real life. It would destroy me." He gathers me up in his arms and holds me. We don't speak for a while.

"We'll tell Evelyn we can't take the baby," he says. I pull back and look into his eyes.

"We haven't made our decision yet, Tobias, and after seeing her ... holding her ... knowing how much I'm going to love her ... I'm not sure I can give her up," I say.

"It was just a simulation, Tris," he says softly, worry in his eyes again. "She wasn't real, as beautiful as she was. I won't _ever_ put you through something like that. We don't have to adopt my sister. We'll wait a few years and have our own baby."

"How did we get on opposite sides of this?" I ask, propping myself up on one elbow. "I think before we make a decision we should talk with a lawyer and see what our rights would be as adoptive parents. I think that's the responsible thing to do. We should know all the facts. If Evelyn has the right to come back at any time and just take her, then no, I can't have that possibility hanging over my head even if it might never happen. Am I making any sense?"

"Yes. Let's ask Christina if she knows any lawyers who deal with adoptions or family law," he says. He raises his lips to mine just as the alarm goes off again.

"Go take a shower," I say, moving my mouth away from his and turning off the alarm. I get up and pick out an outfit for work and lie it across the bed then go into the bathroom when Tobias comes out. The first thing I do is check my new tattoo. I peel back the bandage and smile at my newest addition. After I shower, I put my hair back in a French braid, apply my makeup, and get dressed. I go downstairs and meet Tobias at the door, and we walk hand-in-hand to the cafeteria for a rare breakfast with our friends.

"Whoa, Tris," Uriah says. "What did you do to your hair?"

"Christina put some extensions in it for the masquerade ball," I say.

"It sure does look nice," Marlene says. Everyone else agrees.

"You look tired," Christina comments, before taking a bite of bacon.

"Four and I had a long night," I say quietly, and she immediately grins at me. "Not that way." I look around the table but no one is paying us special attention. "Christina, do you know a family lawyer at Candor?"

"It just so happens my mom is a lawyer, a good lawyer," she says. Then she adds in a whisper, "Is this about the baby?"

"Yes," I say, nodding my head. "Could you give me her number or maybe call and make an appointment for Four and me to meet with her. We need to know what are rights are."

"You're really going to do this?" she says, excitement clear on her face.

"It depends on what she has to say," I reply. "Why don't you come with us? Do you want to see you mother?"

"Isn't that against some rule?" she asks.

"We're trying to change those rules, and we might be able to proceed now that Marcus isn't on the council anymore," I say.

"Will told me all about that," she says. "What did Marcus say?" I look around again.

"He said that I must be a real wildcat in the sack while he was leering at me," I whisper to her, a blush rising. Her eyes almost pop out of her head.

"He's a creep on top of being a child abuser," she whispers back. He is so much more than both those things.

"I'm so thankful you know the whole truth about Four and me so I have someone to talk to when I need to and I don't have to lie to you or tell you half-truths," I say. "It was driving me a bit insane." We both laugh and finish our breakfast.

After our friends all leave for their jobs, Christina calls her mom and makes an appointment for this afternoon for Tobias and me to get the advice we need about adopting his sister. We are to meet Christina's mom in the lobby of Candor at 1:00 p.m. Tobias tells Will and Christina to stick around while he puts in a call to Jack Kang. He makes arrangements to interrogate Jason under truth serum at 2:30 p.m. Jack obliged Tobias' request since we were already going to be at Candor for a meeting, otherwise we would have had to wait until the end of next week. Tobias tells us that the four of us will be leaving the Dauntless compound and driving to Candor. A Dauntless guard will ride the train to retrieve the car and bring it back to Dauntless then two guards will escort Jason to Candor for his interrogation at 2:30.

For the rest of the morning, Tobias and Tori are locked up in his office assigning Faction Ambassadors to specific factions. The only two assignments I know for sure are Uriah to Erudite and Peter to Amity. I really want to be at this afternoon's ambassador meeting just to see Peter's face. Hopefully, it will wipe the imbedded smirk off of it.

Tobias asks me to have one of the Dauntless security guards deliver a note to Samaire Towne asking her to meet Tori, him, and me in his office at 9:00 a.m. tomorrow morning to go over her incident report from last week and, with Tori's help, make a composite drawing of the mystery man. I'm excited about this meeting. I'm hoping she can give us another missing piece to the puzzle.

I'm also excited for Jason's interrogation later today. Hopefully, he knows some useful information that will point us in the right direction. I get out my phone and scroll through my contacts and find Caleb's name. I hesitate, looking at his smiling face on the little screen before hitting the call icon. He picks up on the second ring. I tell him about Jason Grant's interrogation under truth serum at 2:30 this afternoon at Candor and invite him to attend as a representative of Erudite and the council. I think he should be there since his faction is involved and because Jason made implied threats against him and me. He agrees and I tell him to be in front of Candor by 2:15.

I have a hard time concentrating on the huge stack of inactive files on my desk in front of me. Every time I blink my eyes I see that perfect little girl with dark curls and blue eyes who looked like the spitting image of Tobias but even more beautiful, if that's possible, sitting on the floor in front of me playing with blocks. I sigh and once again rub the heels of my hands firmly, almost painfully, against my eyes trying to erase those false memories. The minute I handed her to Evelyn and they walked out the door, all my other reservations disappeared with her. I can't even explain how it felt. I don't want to feel those feelings ever again. This felt 100 times worse than when I thought Tobias was seeing someone else. I let out a groan.

"Is there something wrong?" Christina asks, walking into my office. I jump at the sound of her voice.

"God, you scared me," I say, trying to calm my now hammering heart. "What are you doing here? Do you need something?"

"You first. You don't look very well," she says. "Are you feeling sick again?"

"No, it isn't that. Please, sit down," I say, motioning to the couch by the wall. I get up and sit at the opposite end. "I went through my fear landscape again early this morning. I thought it would give me some insight into how I _really_ feel about adopting the baby. I wasn't prepared for what I found." I take a few deep breaths and fight back the tears. "I still have six fears but having to shoot Four is no longer my greatest fear.

"After I shot myself, I found myself sitting in my living room on the couch right next to Four, and in front of us on the floor was the absolute most beautiful baby girl about 6 months old. She looked exactly like Four but ... softer, more feminine. She was surrounded by blocks, and she was laughing and playing. She was a happy baby. Four and I couldn't take our eyes off of her. We were so happy. Then his mother and the faceless father burst through the door with two armed Dauntless guards and had papers to take her away from us." Christina gasps as the tears that have formed in my eyes overflow, spilling down both cheeks. "I held on to her with all my might but Four told me I had to let her go but we would fight to get her back. It absolutely _crushed_ me, Christina. I've never felt anything like that in my entire life. I could feel how much I loved her and how much I wanted her but if Evelyn can just waltz into our life at any time and say, 'Sorry, guys. I'm taking her back.' No, I can't go through that."

"I'm sorry, Tris," she says, scooting across the couch to take my hand. "Is that why you want to talk to my mother?"

"We want to know what our rights will be as adoptive parents," I say. "I'm afraid I don't trust Evelyn. She abandoned Four, and that's all I need to know about her. Do you need something? Are you okay?"

"It's been a long day getting ready for tomorrow night. I want it to be perfect," she says.

"Everything is going to be absolutely stunning but that isn't what's bothering you. I know you, Christina, just as well as you know me. Spill it," I say.

"My mom doesn't know I'm pregnant," she says with a sigh. "How do I tell her? I'm afraid she will be disappointed in me, and believe me she's as Candor as they come. She won't be afraid to tell me _exactly_ what she thinks."

"Tell her the truth but let her know in as loving a way as possible that what you do with your life really isn't her business anymore. I had to do that with my dad when he found out about Four," I say. "Are you going to introduce her to Will?"

"Yes," she says. "I want her to know him. He and the baby are the best things to ever happen to me."

"I'm beginning to understand how you feel," I say. "I know without a doubt Four is the best person for me by far. We bring out the best in each other."

"That's how Will and I are. We complement each other so much," she says. "I can't imagine my life without him or without this little one." She puts her hands across her stomach as she talks about her baby.

"Tell your mom exactly what you just told me. She can't argue with that," I say. "Anyone can see how happy you are when you talk about Will and the baby."

"You don't know her," she says with a sigh. "She is extremely hard to please."

"I'm sorry she's like that," I say. Something pops into my mind and I smile. "You know, if we adopt Four's sister, we'll be raising them together. It's hard to imagine isn't it."

"Yes. I didn't think that putting my blood on those hot coals last July was going to lead to all this," she says. "I know it's only been a few short months, but it's been quite a journey."

"Yeah, it has," I say, nodding my head in agreement. "Hey, are you going to have any problems leaving Dauntless this afternoon?"

"No. I'm supposed to be putting the finishing touches on the auditorium today but everything's right on schedule for tomorrow night so I don't feel bad about taking a few hours out of my schedule to see my mom. It's too bad I can't see my little sister too. I miss her more than I miss my mom. She's the one I spent most of my time with at home ... Candor I mean."

"It will always feel like home to a part of you, don't you think? I know that how we are raised isn't supposed to mean anything to us after we choose a new faction but how can the faction we spend our formative years in not have a profound effect on us?" I say with a sigh.

"I'm glad others feel that way," she says. "I've been afraid I'm alone in my thinking." I know I'm thankful to hear the way I'm feeling doesn't have anything to do with my divergence. I imagine it's instilled in all transfers.

"Shall we head to lunch?" I ask. "We have to leave by 12:30 to be at Candor by 1:00."

"Sure," she says. I knock on Tobias' door and tell him Christina and I are heading to the cafeteria. He tells me he and Tori are almost finished with the ambassador assignments and that he will meet us in a few minutes. When we get to the cafeteria I fix myself a plate and talk to Christina about the final plans for the masquerade ball. Slowly our table fills up with our friends, and they join our conversation about tomorrow night's party. I'm happy the subject of Marcus has fallen away. After about 10 minutes, Tobias joins us for lunch. He fills his plate and quickly eats since we'll be leaving shortly. When we are all finished eating we excuse ourselves and head to the Pire to wait for Tobias to take us to Candor. When the sleek car smoothly pulls up to the curb, Will, Christina, and I get in.

"Are you ready to find out about adoption?" Tobias asks, smiling down at me. I take his free hand in mine and return his smile.

"Yes, I am. Let's go. We don't want to be late."


	59. Chapter 59

The drive from Dauntless to Candor is a relatively short and smooth one. A little before 1:00 p.m., Tobias, Will, Christina, and I pull up in front of the tall, wide, weather-darkened, cement building that houses Candor headquarters, which once was known as the Merchandise Mart and now is simply referred to as the Merciless Mart by all the other factions since Candor members are known to be uncaring because they are so brutally honest.

Tobias parks the car, and we get out and walk up to the oversized glass doors that lead into the building. Christina takes a deep breath then opens the door, and we follow her into the large, well lit lobby. Below our feet is a large expanse of black marble with a ring of white marble tiles in the middle of the floor that form the symbol of Candor: A set of unbalanced scales representing weighing truth against lies.

I notice a tall, beautiful, dark-skinned woman with dark brown eyes and shoulder length black wavy hair wearing traditional Candor colors of black and white standing by the elevators at the back of the room. When she sees Christina, her eyes widen, and she quickly approaches her. I immediately recognize her as Christina's mom from when I saw her across the Pit on visitation day. When she sees her mother, a wide smile crosses Christina's lips, and she walks directly into her outstretched arms. It's obvious from the expression on her face her mom wasn't expecting to see anyone else with Tobias and me.

"Mom, I would like to introduce you to some very important people in my life," she says, releasing her mother and turning back to the three of us. Christina motions to Will, and he steps forward and takes her hand. "This is my boyfriend, Will Drake; my best friend, Tris Prior; and her boyfriend, Four. Everyone, this is my mother, Stephanie Misner."

"It's a pleasure to meet Christina's friends," she says eyeing Will. I imagine she'll have several questions for him later. "So Christina, what are you going to do while I meet with Tris and Four?"

"Will and I were going to wait here until their meeting was finished then I was going to catch up with you. I wish I could visit with Rose, too," Christina says, sadness crossing her face. Rose must be her sister's name.

"It's Christmas break so she's at home. I'll call her down here so you can surprise her. She'll love that," Stephanie says. Christina's eyes light up. Then Stephanie addresses Tobias and me. "Please follow me."

Tobias takes my hand, and we follow Stephanie to the elevator and take it up to the fifth floor. We exit the elevator into a nondescript hallway with black marble floors and bright white walls. Everything in Candor must be black and white. Stephanie leads us through several identical hallways to her office. I hope she plans on taking us back to the lobby when we're finished, or Tobias and I will probably get lost and never be seen again.

I assume Stephanie's office looks like most every other room in the building with its bright white walls, black marble floors, and minimal furnishings also in bright white. I would think that would be hard to keep clean but everything is spotless. Once we are inside we sit down in the two white leather chairs across from her glass and white metal desk, and she makes a quick call to her younger daughter and tells her to meet her in the lobby immediately then hangs up the phone. Tobias and I sit side-by-side holding each other's hand waiting for her.

"So, Tris, Four, what is it I can do for you today?" she asks getting right down to business.

"Everything we say is confidential and won't leave this room, is that correct?" Tobias asks.

"That is correct," she says. Tobias takes a deep breath, and I squeeze his hand.

"My name is Tobias Eaton," he says. Recognition lights Stephanie's face. It seems most everyone reads the Erudite news reports making Tobias and Marcus Eaton household names. Now I understand why he prefers to go by Four. "When I was 9-year-old my father told me my mother died giving birth to my baby sister who also died. It turns out that story was a lie. My mother left my father and became factionless after having an affair that produced a child. She gave the baby up for adoption. I didn't know any of this until a little over a year ago.

"She contacted me earlier this week and is pregnant again. She can't stand the thought of giving another child up for adoption and not knowing where she will be so she wants us to adopt the baby. Before Tris and I make our final decision, we want to know what our rights will be as adoptive parents. Our greatest concern seems to be that Evelyn will come back for the child and be able to take her from us. I don't think either Tris or I would survive that."

"I have to say I'm impressed you are checking into what your rights are. Not a lot of adoptive parents twice your age do that. That being said, is there anything I can do to change your mind about even considering adoption at your young age?" she says. She definitely is Candor, not afraid to speak exactly what's on her mind.

"Mrs. Misner, all due respect," Tobias says.

"Please call me Stephanie, Tobias," she interrupts.

"Please call me Four, Stephanie," he says.

" _Stephanie_ ," I say, interrupting them both, "age is just a number. We at Dauntless don't consider age a restriction to _anything_. Four and I have not decided whether or not to go through with the adoption, which is why we're here seeking your legal advice but let me assure you we are not making this decision lightly. We both are considering _all_ our options."

"Very well, Four, Tris," she says with a smile that seems genuine. "Your rights as adoptive parents really depend on what kind of adoption you are seeking. In our city, when a child is given up to a stranger, there is standard adoption paperwork stating the birth parents are signing over their rights to the child to the adoptive parents, meaning the birth parents do not get to know where the child is or how the child is doing, and they do not have the right to come back and say they have changed their mind.

"With private adoptions, which is the type of adoption being proposed to you, there is a window of 90 days in which one or both of the birth parents can change their minds; however, if the birth parents sign away their rights to the child _before_ the child is born, the 90 day window disappears. That being said, anytime until the child is born, the birth parents have the right to change their minds. After the adoption is finalized, the child is 100% your responsibility and your rights are that of any other parent.

"There is one additional thing you two should be made aware of. Four, since the baby is your mother's _you_ would be adopting this child, and Tris, you would have no legal rights to it if you and Four were to split up." My eyes widen and Tobias frowns at this news.

"Why would that be?" Tobias asks. "If we decide to do this, we _want_ to do it together."

"Unmarried couples are not eligible to adopt children," she states matter-of-factly. "Our city's government has decided if two people haven't made a commitment of marriage to one another it isn't in the best interest of the child and adoption will not be granted."

"That seems harsh," I say.

"Aren't you on the council?" she asks. "Maybe adoption laws are something you would like to change, although it wouldn't be in time to help the two of you."

"What if we were married?" I ask. I can feel Tobias' gaze on my face but I avoid looking at him. We need to know what _all_ our options are.

"If you two were to get married, there would be no problem. I would first draw up the papers for the birth parents to sign giving up all rights to the child, and then I would draw up the adoption papers to be signed by the birth parents and by the two of you. When the child is born, he or she would be transferred immediately into your custody."

"So the only way Evelyn or the birth father could change their minds is _before_ the baby is born?" Tobias asks.

"That is correct, Four," she says.

"Is there someplace Tris and I could speak alone?" Tobias says. Stephanie cocks her head to one side and looks at us, thinking.

"How about I go and retrieve my daughters and Christina's boyfriend. It won't give you a lot of time to speak alone but it will give you a few minutes," she says.

"Any time you could offer us would be appreciated," I say. She walks to the door and leaves us alone.

"Do you want to get married?" he asks, his Four mask in place, not betraying any emotion at the moment.

"Do _you_ want to get married?" I ask him.

"I asked you first," he says, still not revealing his feelings. I think about his question. _Do_ I want to get married? I stare deeply into his dark blue eyes and see my other half. I don't know how that's possible since I'm only 16 years old but there it is, the absolute truth.

"I have to be honest with you, Tobias. Until this week, marriage and children never seriously crossed my mind. But after talking to you, talking to Christina and Will, going through my fear landscape, and seriously thinking about it, all I want is to be with you for the rest of my life. I want to have babies with you. I want to make a home with you and those children. I want to live a long and happy life with you. So yes, I _want_ to marry you. Do _you_ want to marry me?" I can feel the moisture in my eyes threatening to spill. He looks at me blank-faced for a moment causing me to hold my breath. God, how I wish I knew what was going through his mind right now. He gets up from his chair and sweeps me up into his arms. His lips land on mine in a love-filled kiss, and I get my answer. When we pull away from each other he sits me back on my feet.

"I love you, Beatrice Prior, and if that was a proposal, yes, I will marry you," he says with a huge smile on his face, caressing my face, wiping my happy tears away with his thumb. "Does this mean what I think this means?"

"I think so," I say.

"Are you sure, Tris? Just yesterday you wanted no part of this adoption. Now not only are we adopting a baby but we're getting married. I hate to think I'm pushing you into something you're not ready for," he says, suddenly sober, concern on his face.

"You aren't pushing me into anything, Tobias. I want this," I say, wrapping my arms around his waist, pulling him close to me, "more than I've ever wanted _anything_ in my entire life. I love you, Tobias." Someone clears their throat, and we jump away from each other, startled. Standing in the doorway is Will, Christina, Stephanie, and a young dark-skinned girl with dark eyes and short dark hair who is just as tall as Christina. She must be Rose.

"Did we interrupt something?" Christina says, her face full of innuendo.

"Not at all, Christina," I say. "Stephanie, Four and I have made a decision."

"Christina, Rose, Will, would you please wait out in the hallway for just a moment while we finish our business?" she says.

"It won't take long," I say. Will and Christina look at us expectantly but I'm not ready to reveal anything just yet. They leave the room and close the door behind themselves.

"Do we have to be married before you start any of the paperwork?" Tobias asks.

"No but you do have to be married before you sign the final adoption paperwork," she says.

"We are meeting Evelyn next Monday night. Is there any way to have the first set of papers together by then?" he asks.

"I will get them together while you are in your next meeting and give them to you before you go. They are standard documents. I only need your full names and birthdates. I also need the full names and birthdates of the birth parents. If you don't know them now, I can leave that section blank and manually insert them later," she says. "I will also need a copy of your marriage license when you get married for the file."

"I don't want to take up any of your time with Christina," I say.

"I promise, it won't take me more than 10 minutes to get this particular document together but thank you for your consideration, Tris. I can tell you are a good friend to my daughter. Thank you," she says. I smile at my best friend's mother. If you were to take Stephanie and put her in Dauntless, I imagine she would be a lot like Christina.

"Thank you for all your help today, Stephanie," I say reaching my hand out. She takes it, and we shake hands then she and Tobias also shake hands. While we write down the information she needs for the forms, she lets Will, Christina, and Rose back in the room. I look at the clock and see it's 2:10. Caleb will be here in a few minutes.

"Tris, Four," Christina says. We both turn at the sound of our names. "This is my kid sister, Rose. This is my best friend, Tris, and her boyfriend, Four." Her sister looks at Tobias like a kid looks at candy in a candy store. She is too young to make me jealous plus we just decided to get married so nothing is going to take away my high.

"It's nice to meet you, Rose," I say to her, extending my hand. She takes it and shakes it, not once taking her eyes off of Tobias.

"Are you pregnant, too?" she asks, finally looking my way. My eyes widen at the question, and I see a confused look cross Stephanie's face. I try not to look appalled but I don't quite manage it. I'm not used to direct questions like that coming from _anyone_ let alone someone as young as Rose.

"No," I slowly say, not knowing what else to say.

"Christina Louise? Do you have something to tell me?" her mom asks, her arms across her chest and a stern look on her face.

"I'm sorry you learned this way, Mom," Christina says. She glares at Rose and adds under her breath, "Big mouth. Yes, Mom. Will and I are expecting our first child in June." She and her mom stare at each other for a long moment, and I start to feel very uncomfortable.

"Rose," I say. "Could you do me a huge favor? I have to meet another member of the council in front of the building in just a few minutes. Could you take me back down to the lobby so I don't get lost then show us the way back up here?"

"I can do that," Rose says, seemingly unaware of the strained silence in the room.

"I'll come with you," Tobias says looking relieved to be leaving this drama behind. Tobias, Rose, and I quietly exit the tension-filled room and escape to the lobby.


	60. Chapter 60

Tobias and I leave Stephanie's small office on the fifth floor of the Merciless Mart and follow Rose through the maze of monochromatic hallways that lead back to the elevator. I was right to ask Rose to accompany us. We would never have found our way through the miles of nondescript corridors. To me everything looks exactly the same. I wonder how the Candor decipher the difference between one hallway and the next.

The three of us ride down to the lobby, Rose asking one question after another in rapid-fire succession. Some are easy and we are happy to answer, like "How old are you," and some are quite difficult and we tell her aren't appropriate to ask total strangers, like "Why is your name a number?" She doesn't like to be censured. Even Candor children are encouraged to say whatever's on their mind at any given time. I can't imagine living that way.

When the elevator doors open into the lobby, I let out a sigh of relief, and I hear Tobias let out a little chuckle. I'm glad Christina doesn't act like Rose. I don't think we would be such good friends if she did. I head across the lobby and out the front doors to find Caleb in his Erudite attire pacing nervously back and forth, looking out of place.

"Hi, Caleb," I say, getting his attention.

"Hey, Tris," he says, obviously happy to see me.

"I'm glad you were available this afternoon," I say, leading him into Candor headquarters. He seems extremely agitated. "Are you okay, Caleb?"

"Two Dauntless members just pulled up in front of the building then practically dragged Jason Grant inside," Caleb says, looking around. "I think I've seen him before, Tris. Now that I've seen him in person, he looks familiar but I can't place where I've seen him. Here's all the information Cara and I gathered about him and his brother. Their parents want to come to Dauntless and claim Jared's body as soon as possible, and they would also like to visit Jason." Tobias approaches us, and I hand the file to him.

"Information about Jason and Jared," I tell him. He opens the folder and looks through it, studying the material carefully. "Their parents want to pick up Jared's body soon, and they want to visit Jason, which I'm not sure is a good idea."

"We'll ask Jason if his parents are involved in the conspiracy under truth serum," Tobias says. "If he confirms they aren't, I don't have a problem with them visiting him under strict supervision." That seems reasonable.

"I hope we get some answers today," I say.

"Who's this?" Rose asks, looking Caleb up and down.

"I'm Caleb," he says to her, offering her his hand. "I'm Tris' brother." She frowns a little at him.

"If you are brother and sister, why are you in different factions?" she asks. I give Rose a stern look and Tobias shakes his head but it's Caleb who answers.

"You really are Candor, huh?" he says. "Obliviously, we chose different factions, Rose, and that's why we aren't in the same faction anymore."

"Do you miss your sister? I miss mine," she says to Caleb as we get back on the elevator. She pushes the button for the fifth floor and looks at Caleb with puppy dog eyes, waiting for his response. With faction before blood constantly reinforced to initiates, especially transfers, we aren't supposed to miss our families, but I know I miss mine terribly sometimes, even my annoying older brother. I look across the close confines into his pale green eyes.

"Yes, I do miss her at times," he says tearing his eyes away from mine and looking back at Rose, "but we're extremely lucky. We work together on the council so we still see each other from time to time."

"That must be nice. I've only seen Christina _twice_ in six months," she says sounding sad. I wonder if it seems like a lifetime already like it does for me when I think of my mother. "I was used to her being here even though she annoyed me sometimes." I chuckle a little at her answer. Apparently _all_ siblings annoy one another at times. I wonder if my children will be that way.

The elevator opens, and we find Stephanie, Will, and Christina standing there, all of whom look a little worse for wear. They join us in the elevator, and we take it down to the third floor. Stephanie explains we are to meet Jack Kang and Niles Murphy in the Dauntless holding room where our prisoner is now being held. Candor has an identical holding room for each of the five factions she explains, a place to keep faction members who are causing trouble and prisoners until their interrogations. The elevator doors open to another nondescript Candor hallway, and we follow Stephanie to our destination. When we enter the holding room I'm surprised to see white marble floors instead of black but the walls are still the same bright white. The only furniture in the room is a bright white low wooden bench against the back wall, which is where Jason is sitting surrounded by Purple-Hair and Snake-Tattoo, two of Tobias' most trusted Dauntless security men, and two Candor men I've never seen before.

Stephanie introduces us to Niles Murphy, an older dark-skinned man who apparently administers all the interrogations at Candor and Jack Kang a handsome, short, black-haired man who is one of Candor's leaders. Even though I would consider him nice looking, he doesn't look like a warm and caring individual. We all shake hands and get down to business. Out of the corner of my eye, I see Christina leave the room with Stephanie and Rose, and I try not to think about my best friend in her time of need.

"The three of us would like to perform the interrogation, Jack," Tobias says in his authoritative Four voice. "I'm not sure where his answers will lead us so we don't have a fixed set of questions. I hope this is acceptable."

"Normally, I would have to refuse your request, Four, but since the setting is more informal than usual, I don't have a problem with it; however, Niles and I will stay and monitor the interrogation."

"Please do and if you have any questions you feel need to be asked, don't hesitate to do so," he says.

Niles steps forward and takes a syringe filled with a cloudy blue liquid out of the black box he has been holding onto. He hands Jason an alcohol swab and tells him to wipe off the left side of his neck, and Jason reluctantly does as he's told then Niles inserts the syringe into the vein in his neck and injects the truth serum. The effects of the serum are almost instantaneous. He slumps against the wall and his eyes glaze over. When this happens Purple-Hair and Snake-Tattoo get up from beside him and stand quietly by the door. Tobias straightens up even taller and approaches Jason.

"What is your full name?" he asks. Jason squirms a bit, trying not to answer but finally gives in to the truth serum that's pumping through his veins.

"Jason Alexander Grant," he says. We already have this information but at least we know he isn't lying to us.

"How old are you?" Tobias asks.

"20."

"What faction were you born into and what faction did you choose?" This is another question we know the answer to but we need to hear the answer under the truth serum nonetheless.

"Erudite born and that's where I chose to stay," he says holding his chin up a little higher, definitely proud of his faction.

"What is the full name of the man you were with the night you attacked Four?" Will asks. Jason fidgets a bit more with this question then hangs his head, defeated.

"Jared Ian Grant," he says so low that it's barely audible.

"You _will_ speak up," Jack Kang says to the prisoner, his voice booming through the spacious room.

"How old was Jared?" Will asks.

"21."

"How are you and Jared related?" Tobias asks.

"We _were_ brothers but _you_ killed him," Jason snarls through clenched teeth.

"Are your parents involved in the attacks?" I ask.

"No," he says incredulously.

"Why did you and your brother attack me on Christmas night?" Tobias asks. There is silence in the room for a full minute. The entire time Jason looks like he's in physical pain.

"You weren't our target, she was," he says trying to point toward me. It seems like his arms are not functioning properly at the moment.

"Who told you to attack me?" I ask, swallowing the fear that bubbles up. He struggles much longer this time, not wanting to give up the information.

"It's futile to resist," Jack says. "Just tell them the truth and the uncomfortable feeling will be over."

"Cameron," he says on a gust of breath.

"And Cameron's last name?" Will asks, although we all know the answer.

"Wright," Jason says.

"What exactly did Cameron Wright ask you to do to Tris?" Tobias says in his frightening Four voice.

"Kill her," he says matter-of-factly. Tobias' sudden intake of air threatens to suck the oxygen out of the room, depriving the rest of us of air. He stands there clenching and releasing both fists. I know for a fact Jason would join his brother in the morgue if Tobias were alone with him right now.

"Why did he want you to kill her?" Will asks after clearing his voice. Tobias seems to be frozen in place at the moment.

"He said she needs to be eliminated for meddling in our business," Jason replies.

"What business would _that_ be?" I ask, indignant. He glares my way and once again struggles against the truth that wants to rip out of his mouth. This is the longest he's resisted. He grimaces and grits his teeth to try not to talk.

"You stopped the war on Abnegation," he finally says. "Cameron, Jared, Asher, and Ben said you must pay for your meddling." Ben is a new name. Finally some new worthwhile information but I wasn't the only one who stopped the war.

"What are Asher and Ben's last names?" Caleb asks almost trembling. He obviously has heard these names before.

"Parrish and Riley," he says through gritted teeth. Oh great. Not only did Erudite trade one psycho for another, but he's also involved with my new found family. I glance at Caleb and see he is devastated by this news but he soon pulls himself together and stands taller.

"Riley," I hear Tobias say under his breath to no one in particular. "So familiar."

"Just who _are_ Cameron Wright, Asher Parrish, and Ben Riley to you?" I ask since no one else is talking.

"Cameron and Ben are my best friends. We went through initiation together," Jason spits, trying very hard to hold the information back. "Asher Parrish is a close friend of Cameron and the new leader of Erudite." I look at Caleb, and he's as white as a sheet.

"What is it Caleb?" I ask.

"I figured out where I've seen Jason before. He's been in Asher's office. _Asher_. He's the advisor I went to about the simulation serum, Beatrice," Caleb says. "He's the one who shut it all down by going to the Abnegation Council. Why would he do that if it wasn't what he wanted? He's the reason all the conspirators were executed. I don't understand. I trusted him with my life. I trusted him with your life. Oh God, he knows about _her_ involvement." Alarm lights his eyes, and I imagine mine as well. Tobias moves to stand directly next to me, and he reaches out and takes my hand in his, and I look up into his worried eyes.

"Tell me who you think stopped the war on Abnegation," I say to Jason.

"You, your turncoat brother, your mother who somehow knows _way_ more than she should for a typical Stiff, and your father for not controlling her," he says with a sneer. My mouth falls open. It seems the Prior's have a price on their heads and didn't even know it. Tobias squeezes my hand before he lets it go. He walks directly in front of Jason, and Jack and Miles, feeling the tension rolling off of him, move to flank him.

"Does Cameron still want Tris dead?" Tobias asks. I know Tobias is dying a little inside having to ask this question but he sounds like it doesn't faze him.

"Yes," Jason says with a slight smile on his face.

"Does Cameron want my family dead?" I ask.

"They are all on the elimination lists," Jason says. _Lists!_ I lock eyes with Tobias.

"Tell me everything you know about _any_ lists involved with Dauntless, Erudite, or Abnegation," Tobias says to Jason. I see Jason physically start to shake and sweat beads form on his forehead and upper lip. He is trying very hard not to speak, and it's taking a physical toll on him. Will moves very close to me, looking like he would throw himself in front of a bullet for me as we watch Jason try not to answer. He lets out a sound I've only heard once before, which reminds me of the time I encountered an injured dog lying in the street. Caleb gently picked it up, and we rushed it to the veterinarian clinic in the city. It was making a high-pitched whining sound just like what's coming from deep within Jason's throat. Suddenly he gasps for a breath and passes out. Jack and Niles both rush forward to check on him.

"He has a pulse," Jack says over his shoulder. "I've never seen anything like this. Have you Niles?"

"No, sir. Not in _all_ my years," he says with awe in his voice. "He withheld so long he couldn't take the pain anymore and his body shut itself down."

"Will we be able to interrogate him further when he wakes up," Tobias asks. "We really need to know about the lists"

"Not today I'm afraid," Jack says. "It isn't safe to give more than one dose of truth serum in a 24-hour period of time. I understand the importance of an additional interrogation, Four. I do. It seems we _still_ have a very serious situation on our hands. This is much bigger than just Dauntless. I want all the council representatives here for the next interrogation. I will get Sofia working on that right away. She will contact Abnegation and Amity. How does 8:30 a.m. tomorrow morning sound?"

"Tris and I will be here," Tobias says reaching out to shake Jack's hand.

"I'll be here also," Caleb says, color finally returning to his cheeks.

"I'm putting arrest warrants out for Cameron Wright, Ben Riley, and Asher Parrish. Is it okay if we keep Jason here overnight?" Jack asks.

"That would be great," Tobias says. He then walks over to Purple-Hair and Snake-Tattoo and dismisses them for the day after retrieving the car keys from them. They will jump the train back to Dauntless.

"Very well. Niles, would you escort our guests down to the lobby," Jack says.

I walk over to Tobias with Will on one side of me and Caleb close by my other side. When I reach Tobias, I immediately take his hand in mine, and he squeezes it tight. We all follow behind Niles in silence. I can't get the interrogation off my mind. It's amazing how this day has changed. One minute Tobias and I are talking about marriage and children, and the next I find out my entire family is marked for death by Erudite fanatics. I feel like I could breakdown at any moment but I know I have to remain strong.

"I don't know what to do about Nathan, Dru, and Callen," I quietly say to Tobias. "What we know so far only points to Cameron but my mom said Asher was a close friend of Nathan's, too."

"I think we need to learn as much as we can from Jason tomorrow, and hopefully before the masquerade ball tomorrow night, we'll have all the answers about this mess and everyone who needs to be in custody will be," Tobias says trying to reassure me. I can't imagine going to the masquerade ball tomorrow night but as Dauntless leaders it's a part of our duty.

When the elevator opens in the lobby I see Stephanie, Christina, and Rose sitting at an intimate grouping of furniture in the corner of the room laughing. Before I can go over to them, Caleb tells me he'll see me in the morning and gives me a quick hug then flees the building. The news Asher has been involved in this from the beginning is taking a toll on Caleb.

"Are you ready to go," Will asks Christina when I finally approach them. I study her mother's face and see no animosity toward Will, which is a good thing for Christina, Will, and their unborn baby.

"I am," she says looking a bit sad. She gets up and hugs her mom tightly then her little sister and tells them she hopes to see them again before visiting day but she can't make any promises.

"Here's the paperwork you requested, Four. You can drop it off at the front desk at any time. Just tell them it's for me, and it will get to me," Stephanie says to Tobias, handing him a sealed manila envelope. Will takes Christina's hand in his, and we all file out of the Merciless Mart together.


	61. Chapter 61

Tobias, Will, Christina, and I all climb into the black Dauntless car, which is sitting by the curb outside of the Merciless Mart where Purple-Hair and Snake-Tattoo left it. I look at the elevated tracks that run alongside the old cement building and long to run and jump onto our faction's preferred method of travel. I love the surge of energy that moves through my body whenever I jump onto a moving train and the breathless feeling of suspended animation when I jump off. I didn't realize how much I've been missing it. February can't come soon enough.

"How was your visit with Rose and your mother?" I ask Christina, trying to get my mind onto something else.

"I loved visiting with Rose until she blabbed my secret, then I remembered what it was like to have a little sister," she says with a smile. "It was great talking to Mom once she got past the fact I'm pregnant. She wasn't happy with Will and me at first. She actually tried to talk us out of having the baby. Can you believe that? She said I was too young." I look up at Tobias just as he smiles and looks down into my eyes.

"Yeah, she said almost the exact same thing to Four and me about adopting the baby, which we are going to do by the way," I say leaving out the part about marriage. They don't need to know that news just yet. Christina squeals in the backseat causing me to jump. I've never heard a sound like that come from her before. I turn, furrowing my eyebrows, and look at her. "Are you okay?"

"Yes, I'm just super excited. We're going to have babies together, Tris. How great is that?" she asks, excitement running one sentence into the next. "We can all learn about being parents together. And think about this, if they're both girls they'll be best friends just like we are, or if we have a boy maybe they'll fall in love with each other."

"That's never happening," Tobias says matter-of-factly, sounding more like Four. "Our daughter is _never_ going to be allowed to date." My heart swells when he says "our daughter." I take the hand that's resting in his lap and lace my fingers with it. He smiles down at me once again, and I beam back.

"I know exactly what you mean, Four," Will says. "If I have a daughter she's getting locked away at about the age of 12. No boy will _ever_ touch her."

"You can't do that," Christina complains.

"And why not?" Will asks.

"Because it's not logical. I know what it's like to be a teenage girl. It isn't that bad. We can be responsible, right, Tris." I'm not sure I can answer that question but I don't get a chance to try.

"Yeah, but _I_ know what it's like to be a teenage boy, and what goes through our heads thinking about you girls is worse than you can imagine," Will says. I look up at Tobias with an inquisitive look. He just nods his head a little, agreeing with Will.

"Seriously," I ask.

"I'm afraid so," he says. I shake my head at both of them and blush.

"Did your mom have a bad reaction to hearing she is going to be a grandmother?" I ask getting the subject back to Christina and Will and off of future children.

"I thought she would be disappointed in me but she wasn't. She was just in shock," Christina says. "She's concerned we're taking on too much responsibility at a young age. We'll both be 17 when the baby's born, and I told her I realize that's quite young by Candor standards but I've been talking with a lot of Dauntless members since I found out I was pregnant, and I've noticed a trend. Most couples get together during their initiation or shortly before or after then get married and have children right away so 17 isn't young at all by Dauntless standards."

"How did you learn that?" I say.

"Mostly at the salon and tattoo parlor. Dauntless women especially _love_ to talk about themselves," she says. "It's weird but true. They also love to gossip. I had no idea that happened in this faction also."

"Have you learned anything useful from the Chatty Cathy's?" Will asks.

"Who?" she asks.

"It's an old doll from before the war. Never mind," Will says.

"No, I haven't or I would have told you already, Will," she says. "People repeat everything they hear about the assaults for a few days then something else happens in their lives or in Dauntless, and the talk about the attacks fade away. It's like they don't get the danger we're in."

"We _are_ Dauntless," I say. "Its very definition is fearless. I'm not saying we shouldn't be concerned about what's going on but how do you make a faction full of people who are _trained_ to be fearless, fearful?" We are all quiet for a moment letting that question hang in the air.

"What made you change your mind about the adoption, Tris?" Will asks, changing the subject once again. I tense up remembering my fear landscape, and I really don't want to talk about it.

"She went through her fear landscape," Christina says. "That seems to be a tool she uses to figure out how she really feels about things. I wouldn't want to keep going through mine."

"You're right, Christina," I say, tears welling up in my eyes. I quickly wipe them away.

"So having a baby wasn't in your fear landscape?" he asks.

"It was my greatest fear actually," I quietly say. "I really doesn't want to talk about this, Will."

"It was painful for both of us," Tobias says, looking at Will in the rearview mirror. "Evelyn came and took the baby away after we had her for six months. The pain was crippling."

"All my other uncertainties about adopting Four's sister fell away the moment I had to give her to Evelyn," I say.

"I didn't mean to upset you, Tris," Will says laying his hand on my shoulder and squeezing gently.

"It's okay," I say, patting his hand, which he then removes. I see that we pull up in front of the Dauntless compound. Tobias parks the car, and we all get out. "I'm glad you had a nice visit with your mom and sister today, Christina."

"Thanks, Tris. I really did," she says. "I didn't realize how much I'd missed them both. Am I going to be able to go back and see them from time to time?" Tobias and I look at each other.

"If we have business at Candor, you are more than welcome to come along with us if you're not busy," Tobias says to Christina. "You're our unofficial fifth leader."

"Thanks, Four," she says to him.

"I have to run an errand," Tobias says. "Will you make sure everything is ready in the conference room for the ambassador's meeting, Will? I'll be right back." Christina and Will say goodbye then turn and walk through the glass doors into the Pire. I look at Tobias curiously. "I need to get a message to Evelyn telling her we need the baby's father to be at our meeting Monday night. Do you want to come with me?"

"No, I'm going to stay here and go through Dr. Parrish and Asher's files to prepare for tomorrow. I'll also continue going through the inactive files," I say. I stand on my tiptoes and give him a kiss. "I'll be in my office when you get back. By the way, I want to be at the ambassador's meeting even though I don't need to be. I love you. Be careful."

"I will, Six," he says, caressing my cheek then leaning down and touching his lips to mine once again. I smile when he pulls away. I love it when he calls me his special nickname. "I'll be back soon."

I walk into the Pire and go directly to Tobias' office. I pull Zander and Asher Parrish and Miles Randolph's personnel files and then decide to pull Nathan, Dru, and Callen's records while I'm at it. I go to my glass-walled office and sit behind my desk. I open Dr. Parrish's file first. I look over the paperwork paying close attention to his younger years but nothing sticks out to me as odd. He doesn't have one reprimand in his file, which surprises me. I swear my mother told me Nathan and his friends were trouble makers. I close his file and open his brother's. Although they don't look anything alike, in my opinion, Zander and Asher Parrish are twins. I wonder how they deal with the separation. I knew twin girls back at Abnegation who couldn't stand to be away from the other for more than 10 minutes. They both left Abnegation for Amity the year before I left. I can't imagine them being separated for an hour let alone a lifetime.

I look through Asher's file carefully, and I see a lot of infractions. There are minor ones that include sneaking out of the compound after curfew, stealing food out of the cafeteria when it's closed, and breaking into the training room after hours – I did that once with Uriah, Lynn, and Marlene. I didn't know it could have went into my file – but the one incident that concerns me the most is an assault on a fellow Dauntless dependent named Dawson Andresen. I'm going to have to pull his personnel file and see if there are any clues as to why he was assaulted.

I pick up Nathan's file after setting Asher's aside and see a lot of the same infractions I found in Asher's file, although Dawson Andresen's assault is not one of them. I thought that Dr. Parrish and my uncle were close friends but they weren't getting into trouble together like my mom said they were. It seems Asher was the one he was getting into trouble with. Maybe Dr. Parrish wasn't as good of a friend to Nathan as everyone thought. I open Callen's file and see that he's 15 years old and will turn 16 shortly before this year's Choosing Ceremony. If he chooses to stay in Dauntless, he'll be one of Uriah and Christina's initiates this year. I would have guessed he's older than I am. There are no infractions in his file and everything looks rather normal. After setting Callen's file aside, I open Dru's. Hers, too, is full of infractions, the most I've ever seen actually, including the assault on Dawson Andresen. That tells me there's a connection between Asher and Dru. Maybe it isn't Nathan who shared his prejudices with Cameron but Dru.

I get up from my desk and take all the records back to Tobias' office to refile them in their proper homes. I go to the member's files and look for Dawson Andresen but can't find a record of him. I move to the inactive files and still can't find a record for him, which is odd. I think back over the inactive files I've already been through, which are still in my apartment but that name just doesn't sound familiar. There is one other place I can look. I open the drawer that houses the deceased files and look for Dawson Andresen's name. My pulse quickens when I see Al's name on one of the files. I take a moment to remember my friend turned enemy and guilt rises within me. Maybe he would still be alive if I could have forgiven him.

"I was wondering where you were," Tobias says coming into his office. I turn and look at him.

"I'm just looking into some files," I say after having to clear my throat.

"What's wrong?" he says, alarmed. It's only now I realize a few stray tears are running down my face.

"Oh, it's nothing really," I say, wiping the tears away. "I just ran onto Al's file. I was just remembering the good times ... and the bad. I still wonder if he would be alive if I would have forgiven him."

"Don't beat yourself up over him, Tris. He isn't worth it," he says to me, leaning up against the file cabinet next to the one I'm looking in. "You and I both know he wasn't going to make it into Dauntless, not with the way the faction was being run at the time, and he didn't want to be factionless. I know that for a fact. It was one of his worse fears."

"You never told me that," I say looking up into his concerned eyes.

"I feel it's a great responsibility to know everyone's fears. They aren't easy to think about, and I don't feel like they are something I should normally share," he says. "But Al chose his own path jumping into the chasm that day, and if telling you his fear alleviates your guilt then I will choose you every time." I reach out and take his hand and squeeze it. "So why are you looking in the deceased files?"

"I'm looking for a name I found in Asher and Dru's files, Dawson Andresen. I can't find a file for him anywhere. I was just getting ready to go home and get the inactive files that are still there. I need to refile them anyway. Either I've overlooked it or there isn't one for him."

"That's impossible. There's a file on every person who has ever lived in Dauntless," Tobias says.

"I know," I say. "If we can't find the file, I suggest asking Dr. Parrish if he knows anything about him."

"It's almost time for the ambassador's meeting," Tobias says, checking the clock on the wall. "Do you still want to come?"

"Yeah, but I'm not going to stay for the entire meeting," I say. "I'm going to go to the apartment and get the inactive files and see if Dawson's file is there. I don't remember the name but to be honest, I've looked at a lot of files lately. His name might not have stood out to me. If it isn't there, I'm going to go through the files and see if it's been misfiled. Something tells me this Dawson Andresen is the key to what's going on around here."

"You might be right, especially since his file is missing," he says. "Let's go to the conference room. You can tell me what you've learned on the way." I tell Tobias about everything I found in all the files and that I think Dr. Parrish can be trusted. If we can't find the file on Dawson Andresen, he might be the best person to go to for answers.

We walk into the conference room and almost all the ambassadors are sitting around the large table, talking and laughing with one another. We wait for the remaining stragglers including Peter and Uriah then I move over by the door so I can make a quiet getaway after seeing Peter's face when he gets assigned to Amity. Tobias calls the room to order and everyone looks at him expectantly. They obviously have no idea why this meeting has been called.

"It was brought to my attention earlier this week that the council has been receiving complaints about our ambassadors. Needless to say, I'm not happy about this. I expect more out of our Dauntless representatives," Tobias says in his authoritative Four voice. "This is the only warning I'm going to give each and every one of you. If any of you get another complaint, no matter how trivial, you _will_ be guarding the fence. That being said, you are each going to receive a permanent faction assignment. There will be no more three month alternating posts." Almost everyone's face falls a little at Tobias' announcement. I study the faces of those I know and those I don't and see this isn't a very popular decision.

"Three years ago the council mandated the faction ambassadors from Dauntless have permanent assignments. Unfortunately, the previous leaders didn't follow through on their orders. They didn't think it was important, we do," Tori says. "I'm going to hand each of you your new assignment. You will report to your new faction beginning Saturday. Your days off, hours, and schedules will remain the same for the time being." I watch as Tori hands each of the 20 faction ambassadors their assignments. Uriah and Ciara's eyes brighten. They both got Erudite and will be keeping an eye on the faction for us and reporting directly to Tobias and Tori.

"Amity?" Peter says. "Seriously." His eyes are filled with hatred.

"Do you have a problem with the assignment I made Mr. Hayes?" Tori says, sounding much like Tobias. "Amity is a very important part of this city. Without them you wouldn't be able to eat. Are you saying that protecting Amity isn't important?"

"No," he scowls. He brings his eyes to mine and glares at me. I would love to smirk at him but that would draw too much attention to the fact I was instrumental in placing him in Amity so I show absolutely no emotions whatsoever.

"You know, Peter," Tobias says. At hearing his name, Peter tears his eyes away from mine and looks towards Tobias. "If you don't like your assignment, I think I could give you a different one. How does the fence sound or maybe cleaning bedpans in the infirmary? And just so everyone in this room knows, Peter here is one of the people who got more than _one_ complaint, so he is partially to blame for these assignments." Peter slouches down in his seat as everyone glares his way. Wow, I didn't realize he had had a single complaint let alone more than one, and he's only been on the job for a little over three months. I just thought my dad didn't like how he was treating Abnegation. I knew this wasn't going to be a good fit for him. More than likely within the next month, he's going to be guarding the fence or worse, for him, factionless.

"No, Four," Peter quietly says. "Amity is fine." I take that as my cue to leave, and I head home to retrieve the inactive files I went through while Dr. Parrish had me on strict restrictions. I bring them back to Tobias' office and file them away after looking through them again. I was right, none of them are for a Dawson Andresen. I start again with the deceased files and look at every single name carefully but don't see his anywhere. Then I move on to the inactive files and still find nothing. I'm half way through the active members when Tobias walks into his office.

"I still haven't found his file," I say, irritation creeping into my voice. "I'm half way through the active member files. If you want to start at the end and work your way towards me we can finish this before we go to supper."

"Okay. What's the spelling of the last name?"

"A-N-D-R-E-S-E-N," I say. After 15 minutes we have went through the rest of the active files, and there is no file for Dawson Andresen.

"This is odd," I say looking into Tobias' eyes.

"What's odd?" Will asks entering Tobias' office, Tori following close behind him. I quickly get them up to speed on what I found in the files I looked at this afternoon including Asher and Dru's assault on a Dauntless dependent named Dawson Andresen.

"The problem is there is no record for such a person and no records at all for anyone with that last name," I say. "I've been through every file ... _twice_. It's a mystery but I have a gut feeling this person is at the center of what's going on right now." Tobias sits down behind his desk, and the rest of us each take a seat in different chairs throughout his office. Tobias rubs his hand across his face and lets out a groan.

"Tori," he finally says. "I'm going to need you to meet with Samaire Towne tomorrow morning at 9 a.m. in my office. I had Tris tell her to meet us but Tris and I will be at Candor to continue Jason's interrogation. She's going to describe to you one of Daniel Parks' attackers so you can make a composite of him. Text it to me when you finish it.

"Will, I want you to stick around here tomorrow instead of going back to Candor with Tris and me for the interrogation. Tori, I want you to get a hold of Will if you need him for _anything_. Otherwise, keep your eyes peeled for Cameron. Tomorrow night's masquerade ball could be a prime target for him to strike if he isn't arrested by then.

"Tris and I are going to Candor to continue Jason's interrogation. There's a possibility we won't be back until late afternoon, especially if Cameron Wright, Asher Parrish, or Ben Riley are arrested this evening. Asher should be easy to find since he's the new leader of Erudite. I hope this doesn't become a pattern. I think that's it for tonight unless you guys have anything to add," Tobias says. We all shake our heads at him. Soon Tori and Will get up and leave Tobias and me alone in his office.

"Tris, let's get dressed up and do something fun tonight. How about dancing? You love dancing, and we really haven't been able to do it since you fell," he says to me.

"I'm not sure, Tobias. Why don't we just spend a quiet evening at home? Jason's admission about my family has me a little freaked out," I admit to him. He gets up from behind his desk and walks over to my chair and puts his hand out to me. I reach up and take it, and he helps me out of my chair. He puts his lips on the back of my hand, kissing me gently.

"Miss Prior," he says. "I haven't had a proper date with the woman I love for quite some time. Would you _please_ do me the honor of going dancing with me tonight?" I smile at his formal request.

"Yes, of course, Mr. Eaton," I say with a laugh. "It would be my pleasure to accompany you dancing tonight."


	62. Chapter 62

**A/N: Fade Into You -** **Sam Palladio and Clare Bowen**

* * *

Tobias and I head upstairs to our apartment after locking his office door behind us. Dancing is really the last thing on my mind now but I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to spend quality time with the man I love. Plus he's right, we haven't had a real date since before I fell off the path a little over three weeks ago. Maybe this will help alleviate some of the stress we've both been under.

He opens the door to our apartment and steps aside to let me in, always the gentleman. When I hear the lock on the door latch, I turn back to him and wrap my arms around his waist, clinging to him. I need his strength now. We don't move, and we don't say anything. He just holds me for a moment. I finally pull back and look up into his eyes. He leans down and puts his mouth on mine and kisses me sweetly. He pulls back after a moment, and I can't help but smile up at him.

After releasing him, I go upstairs and straight into our bathroom. I take a quick shower then wrap my body and head in thick towels and head into the hallway. Tobias moves into the bathroom after I'm done. I go into our bedroom and lying across the bed is a dress Christina talked me into getting about a month back that I've never had a chance to wear. It's a simple black sleeveless dress that's fitted to the upper part of my body then flares out slightly at the hips. He also laid out my black open toe 3-inch pumps embellished with black faux crystals I wore to the Dauntless Welcome Party he loves so much and my platinum diamond jewelry he got me when I joined Dauntless.

I go to the dresser and take out appropriate lingerie for the dress and put it on. I slide into the dress then sit on the edge of the bed and put on my shoes. I'm not sure about these. They could cause me three more weeks of doctor-imposed house arrest if I sprain my ankle again. I put on my necklace, earrings, and charm bracelet next. I carefully walk over in front of the mirror and take in the outfit. I love the flirty swing of the dress. It's actually perfect for dancing. It's a little shorter than I'm used to, only hitting me mid-thigh but it's not too bad. It seems really young and fun, and that's what we're after tonight, fun.

"You look beautiful, Tris," Tobias says from the doorway. I turn and take in his nearly naked appearance and desire spears straight through to my core. I walk over to him, being careful my ankle doesn't turn, eyeing him the entire time. I stop right in front of him.

"You look quite dazzling yourself," I say. He grins and shakes his head at me.

"We're going out tonight, my little sex maniac," he says with a laugh. "Go get ready."

"Just for that you're not getting any when we get home," I say heading out into the hallway, exaggerating the swing of my hips.

"That's okay. I think _I_ can go one day without it unlike someone I know," he says, with a little chuckle. I'm sure if I went in there, stripped naked, and offered myself to him he really wouldn't want to go out anymore but I'll play along with him tonight. It may be fun teasing each other like we did Christmas night until the attack happened. I push the thought out of my head. I want tonight to be a good night, no thinking about anything negative.

I go into the bathroom, put on some light makeup, and style my extra-long hair in an Abnegation-style bun. I really don't know what else to do with it. When I come out of the bathroom I see Tobias walk by the bedroom door heading toward our dresser. I lean up against the doorjamb and see he's wearing black dress pants, a black-and-gray-striped button down shirt, and a black sports jacket. He jumps a little when he turns around, not knowing I'm standing here. His eyes roam from the tips of my toes to the top of my head while my eyes are roaming freely over his form.

"You look stunning tonight. You are devastatingly handsome. Do you know that?" I say walking over to him. I put my arms around his neck and don't even have to go up on my tip toes. Heels are good for some things. "How did I get so lucky?"

"I was thinking the _exact_ same thing. You are absolutely perfect, love," he says as he places his lips to mine. We get carried away for a moment, and when we breakaway from each other we have to catch our breath. "Are you ready to go?"

"Yeah," I say. "I just have to get my crutches."

"I'll be your crutches tonight," he says. "You can lean on me."

"That sounds good."

We slowly walk to the cafeteria arm-in-arm, making sure we take our time so I don't hurt myself. When we get there all our friends have eaten and gone. We sit down at our table and have an intimate dinner just the two of us. We laugh, talk, and gaze into each other's eyes. After a while, I can't even say if there's another person in the cafeteria or not. It's like we're in our own little world.

After we eat our supper, he slowly guides me to the nightclub, and we dance for two solid hours, never once leaving each other's arms. We dance to slow, romantic ballads, up-tempo jazzy numbers, crushing hard rock anthems, and even a country song or two. At about 10 p.m., we finally take a break and each get a lemon-lime soda. We find a little table off in the corner of the club so we can relax and catch our breath. It's hard to talk over the music so we just hold hands and sip our drinks.

"Dance with me," he says when a new song comes on, and he pulls me onto the floor. He wraps his arms tightly around me, pulls me close, and we sway to the slow, haunting melody. He has his lips against my ear as he sings the words I've never heard before. **_"In your heart, in your head. In your arms, in your bed. Under your skin, 'til there's no way to know where you end and where I begin. I wanna melt in, I wanna soak through, I only wanna move when you move. I wanna breathe out when you breathe in, then I wanna fade into you."_** He moves his mouth to mine and leisurely kisses me, not caring about the hordes of Dauntless members dancing around us.

When the song ends he takes my hand and leads me out of the nightclub. We slowly walk out of the Pit toward the path that will take us up to our apartment talking about nothing in particular and laughing about almost everything. When we get to the chasm railing he looks around making sure no one is around to see us, and he leads me down the steep, stony path to the rocks that jut out of the river at the bottom of the chasm. We haven't come down here in ages. I reminisce about the first time he brought me to the bottom of the chasm to sit on the rocks after we went through his fear landscape, and he shared some of his secrets with me. He told me he liked me, and he kissed me for the first time. I can't help but smile at the sweet memory. He carefully sits down on the largest, flattest rock and pulls me down beside him. Our lips find each other's immediately. We kiss enthusiastically, our tongues dancing until we are winded. He pulls back and runs his right hand down the side of my face.

"I love you so much, my Six," Tobias says, using his special nickname for me, emotion thick in his voice. I can't help but get lost in his dark blue eyes; there is a special liveliness to them tonight, especially right now. "You are the most amazing woman I've ever met. Being with you makes me whole, and I lost hope of that ever being possible before you jumped into my life. You _are_ my other half, do you know that?" He gently presses his lips to mine for a moment before he continues. "I want to go to bed with you every night and wake up with you every morning. I want to make love with you and have that love turn into a house full of children. I can't imagine my life without you. You're my best friend. Beatrice Grace Prior, will you do me the extraordinary honor of becoming my wife and loving me for the rest of your life?" He holds out a small black velvet ring box in his right hand and flips the lid open. I stare at its contents in awe. Nestled in the plush black velvet lining is a perfect 1 carat solitaire diamond set on a very simple infinity symbol band. One band of the symbol is plain white gold and the other band is made up of several small black diamonds set in the same white gold. Tobias takes the ring, _my_ ring, out of its box and slides it onto my trembling finger. I can barely see it through the tears that are swimming in my eyes but I can feel it's a perfect fit.

"Yes," I manage to choke out before the tears fall and emotion robs me of my voice. I lunge at him, throwing my arms around his neck. My lips land on his, and he kisses me unlike he ever has before. This kiss is the perfect mixture of love, friendship, desire, lust, happiness, and fulfillment. My hands move to his shirt, and I unbutton the top button. His hands fly up and grab mine. He leans back panting.

"We really shouldn't do that here, love," he throatily says. I look around and laugh. I forgot where we were. As much as I want him in this moment, I'm not an exhibitionist. Anyone could walk by and look over the chasm railing and see us.

"Take me home then, Tobias," I say caressing his face. "I want to make love to you."

"I thought you said I wasn't getting any tonight," he says smiling brilliantly at me.

"I changed my mind. Didn't anyone ever tell you a woman is entitled to do that?" I say putting my lips on his once again. He kisses me wildly. If we aren't careful we _will_ be giving a free show to any Dauntless members passing by. He groans then gets up and gently pulls me to my feet. He carefully guides me out of the chasm and onto the path that leads from the Pit to our home. We hurry home, not saying a word, letting the anticipation build. When we get into our apartment, I take the lead. I pull him up the stairs toward our bedroom. We wrap our arms around each other standing in front of our bed. He moves his lips towards mine but I shake my head at him. He looks slightly confused.

"Tobias," I say, needing the answer to a question that _just_ popped into my mind. "When did you get this ring?" I pull my left hand back and hold it between us, looking at the dazzling symbol of our love and commitment adorning my ring finger. "We only agreed to get married this afternoon.

"I've had it for a while," he admits sheepishly. "I was waiting for the right moment to ask you to be my wife. I was going to do it Christmas night. I thought that would be a romantic time but life got in the way. Then I thought about doing it tomorrow night when we were celebrating the end of one year and the beginning of another. It seemed fitting but after our conversation in Stephanie's office today ... I just couldn't wait one more minute to get this ring on your finger."

"It's gorgeous," I say.

"There's an inscription," he says, gently sliding my ring off my finger. He holds it up so I can read the tiny letters inscribed on the band: More today than yesterday but less than tomorrow. My breath catches in my throat. He said something similar to that after the first time we made love. I kiss him passionately as he places my ring back where it belongs, on my left hand. He suddenly pulls away from me and looks into my eyes, excitement visible on his face. "Would you like to see the wedding rings? I already have those, too. I hope you don't mind. They match your engagement ring."

"Yes," I say to him. We release each other, and he goes to his top dresser drawer and retrieves an oblong black velvet box that matches my engagement ring's box. He opens it like a set of French doors. Right next to each other in the black velvet lining sit two white gold and black diamond infinity symbol bands that look identical to my engagement ring without the solitaire diamond in the middle. His is thicker than mine making it look masculine. I take his ring out of the box and hold it up. I see that it has an inscription too. It reads: With this ring, I thee wed.

"I had the jeweler leave room for the wedding date if we want it on there," he says, emotion thick in his voice.

"I know what day we should get married," I say, tearing my eyes away from his wedding ring and looking up at him. He looks back at me expectantly. "April 6, 4 – 6. It seems so obvious doesn't it?"

"Yes, it does. It literally is _our_ day," he says. "A lot has happened in one day, Tris. We got engaged. We've set a date for the wedding. We decided to adopt the baby. That's an awful lot of good news for us don't you think?" I put his ring back in the box and hand it to him.

"I think we should celebrate, Tobias. What do you think?" I ask him. He puts the box back in his top drawer and returns to me. He grabs me up in his arms, and I laugh heartily as he spins me around. He sets me back on my feet, and he kicks out of his black loafers. I wrap my arms around his neck and pull his mouth to mine. He gently kisses me for a moment then runs his tongue along my bottom lip, making me open my mouth to him. He thrusts his tongue into my mouth and mates it hungrily with mine. I slide my hands down his rock hard chest then back up and push his sports jacket off of his broad shoulders, letting it fall to the floor at our feet. We let our hands roam freely over each other's bodies building the desire to a frenzied pitch. I rest my hands on his waist for a moment while he kisses his way down to the hollow of my neck and I sigh. I grasp the sides of his tight-fitting button down shirt and pull it out of the waistband of his black dress pants.

Tobias turns me around in his arms so my backside is pressed up against the front of his body. I can feel his growing desire nestled against my bottom. He undoes the button at the top of my dress and slowly lowers the zipper, gliding his fingertips along my skin the entire way leaving a trail of heat in their wake. He moves his hands up, pushes the dress over my shoulders, and it too pools at our feet. He takes a step back, and I follow him, freeing our feet of their obstacles. He bends his head and places his lips at the sensitive spot below my left ear while his hands roam their way down my body. His left hand lands on my lace-covered right breast while his other snakes its way down to my black lace panties. He pauses for a moment then slips his hand down the front of my boy shorts. He searches through the wet folds of my womanhood then starts gliding his middle finger over my hard, throbbing nubbin. My breath catches in my throat at his gentle touch. He never varies the pressure or speed but I respond nonetheless. I feel my orgasm slowly build, and I reach both hands up over my head and tangle my fingers in his hair, pulling his mouth closer still. He continues kissing my neck. Then he trails the tip of his tongue lightly up, tracing the folds of my ear. When he sticks his tongue in my ear, a zap of electricity zings through my body and shoots directly to his hand that is religiously working on my nubbin. His other hand finds its way inside my bra and cups my aching flesh, gently kneading. A moan escapes my parted lips. Both my nipples are as hard as diamonds, throbbing, and begging for his attention. My breath is coming impossibly quicker, and I'm finding it increasingly difficult to stand. Soon every muscle in my body tenses, and I scream out his name as an orgasm rips through my entire body. He keeps up the same steady rhythm with his finger, letting me ride wave after wave of pleasure as it surges through my body making me shudder. I slump against Tobias when I'm unable to hold myself any longer but he holds me upright until I make it all the way through the painful pleasure. He finally removes his hands from my panties and bra and gently lifts me up to cradle me in his strong arms. All I can do is rest my head on his shoulder as I let my breathing return to normal and my energy start to build back up. He places me on the bed and lies down beside me.

"Kiss me, Tobias," I say as I look in his loving eyes. He lowers his mouth to mine, and we move our lips together, feeding off of each other's energy. When he pulls back breathless I twist my body and push him back against the bed. I straddle his hips, feeling his building desire. I intentionally move myself over his hard bulge, eliciting a moan from his lips. I reach up and slide the next button on his shirt out of its buttonhole. Then I lean down and place a kiss where my fingers graze. I repeat this with every button until his shirt is laying wide open, exposing his glorious chest to me. "You're perfect." I move my hands to his waistband and unbutton his pants and slowly lower the zipper over his hard length. I grasp his pants, he raises his hips up off the bed, and I slide them off of him and toss them to the floor with our growing pile of discarded clothing. I kneel between his outstretched legs and lower my mouth and kiss his navel. I hear him drag a ragged breath into his lungs, and I can't help but smile. I swirl my tongue around his bellybutton like he sometimes does to me, teasing him.

I sit up and place my hands on the band of his boxer briefs and look in his eyes. They are glazed over with heavy desire. He raises his hips, and I slowly slide his underwear down and toss them to the floor. I kiss my way up his body and wrap my lips around his left nipple as I wrap my hand around his throbbing manhood and slowly glide it up and down. He groans as I flit my tongue out and lap at his sensitive bud, making it harder. Or maybe he groans at the rhythm I've set with my fist on his hardened length. I continue to work my tongue all around his bud, teasing, as I work my hand up and down his shaft. He begins to raise his hips in rhythm with the movement. I move my mouth to his right nipple and take it into my mouth and nibble lightly. He moans and roughly grabs ahold of my head. I notice his breath coming in short, shallow gasps as I love him with my mouth and my hand.

"Shit ... Tris! ... oh _God_! ... you're going to make me come ... you need to stop ... oh God, Tris!" he says as his entire body tenses, and for the first time I feel him release his passion in my hand. I stroke him a few more times as he empties himself completely. _Amazing!_ When his breathing returns to normal, he reaches down by the side of the bed, picks up his underwear, and cleans himself and me off then tosses them back on the floor.

We sit on the bed facing each other for a few moments, just gazing into each other's eyes. I help him shrug out of his shirt and toss it to the floor as his hands go to my bra and expertly unhook it. He slides it off me and tosses it over his shoulder causing me to laugh, which makes him smile brightly. I see his eyes move down and land on my newest tattoo, _his_ tattoo. Several emotions move across his face. He gently pushes me back onto the bed and follows me down, covering me with his body. He kisses my mouth thoroughly then pulls away and slowly trails kisses down my neck, collarbone, across each raven, lingering on his, and onto my chest. When he reaches my bare, tender breasts, my sensitive buds ache impatiently for his hot, wet mouth. He teases me with his tongue, circling the hard little pebble over and over before capturing it between his lips. He licks, sucks, and nibbles until I'm writhing with lust beneath him. I pull his mouth closer to me while he continues the sweet torture.

"Tobias ... God, I love you. That feels so good. Don't stop, don't ever stop," I breathlessly say as he turns his attention to my other breast. He laps at my hardened peak, circling it and teasing it, before finally taking it in his mouth. He bites the nipple lightly and soothes it with his tongue then sucks on it until I'm delirious with desire. He frees the bud from his mouth and places little butterfly kisses here and there until he reaches my panties. Not taking his mouth off my body, he slowly lowers my boy shorts down my legs and tosses them over his shoulder. I open my legs for him, and he tightly wraps his arms around each of my thighs. I can feel his hot breath on my womanhood as he dips his head down and darts his tongue out and barely touches my aching nubbin. I lie back on the bed with a groan as I feel his talented tongue dance over the sensitive bundle of flesh. He circles it lightly with his tongue for a long moment, not quite touching it, eliciting guttural moans of pleasure from my throat. I don't even recognize the sounds coming from me as he takes the nubbin between his teeth, biting it gently. Then he starts swirling his tongue over the tender bundle of nerves that is captured between his teeth causing another orgasm to quickly build. My back arches of its own accord, and I try to move away from his brilliant tongue but he keeps me still with his secure hold on my legs, not letting me escape as he laps at the hard bundle of nerves the entire time. He finally pushes me over the edge, and I come with soul-shattering intensity. He keeps his mouth on me as I ride wave after wave of pure ecstasy.

"Tobias, I need you inside me ... NOW," I manage to scream as another ripple of pleasure courses through me. He quickly moves up my body and enters me fully in one driving thrust causing me to convulse around him in another dizzying explosion. He thrusts into me with wanton passion as I ride my orgasm to completion. After a few minutes he slows the pace, and I wrap my arms around his neck and pull his mouth to mine. We let our tongues glide over one another's as our hips find their own synchronized rhythm. We move together in perfect harmony, and I can't believe it as I feel myself building toward yet another climax. He must be trying to kill me.

I match him powerful thrust for powerful thrust as he increases the tempo, drawing a moan from comes my core. My breath is coming in short, shallow, rapid pants, and my heart is beating at an alarming rate. He leans down hooking my legs over his arms, opening me further to him as he slams into me at a frantic pace. I wrap my arms around his neck, and we look deep into one another's eyes as the pace quickens to new impossible heights, moving me closer to my peak. Finally I can't hold back any longer. My toes curl, my eyes roll back in my head, my back arches, and I scream Tobias' name as a tidal wave of enormous power crashes over me threatening to drown me in wave after wave of pure pleasure. I feel him quicken even further, thrusting deep into me over and over at a dizzying pace. He tenses, cries out my name, then releases himself deep inside of me. After a few final thrusts, emptying himself fully, he collapses on top of me, completely spent. Tremors of pure pleasure continue to move through me as I lie back gasping for air. Soon he rolls us over so I'm lying on top of him. I lie unmoving across his chest letting my breathing return to normal.

"Wow," I hear him say in my ear. Wow is a _complete_ understatement.

"I think we're getting better at this, Tobias," I say to him, raising myself to look in his eyes.

"I think you might be right," he says with a devilish grin. "That was just ... absolutely incredible." I laugh with him, then I frown.

"It really isn't fair you don't get as much pleasure as I do, Tobias," I say, feeling guilty I just had so many orgasms and he only had two. He frowns at me.

"What makes you think I'm not getting as much pleasure as you?" he asks. I stare into his dark blue eyes, thinking about what it is that I need to say. "You can tell me. It's okay."

"You only came twice," I say shyly, moving my eyes away from his penetrating stare. "I did a lot more." He smiles adoringly at me.

"Here's the thing, Tris," he says, caressing my face. "I get all the pleasure in the world watching you, feeling you. When you tighten around me when I'm inside of you, you have _no_ idea what that does to me," I tense a little at his words and a throaty groan escapes his lips. I notice his eyes darken a little also. "Just like that. _God_ , it feels so damn good. I don't know how to describe it. You fit me so perfectly. _That_ is what gives me pleasure. Plus it's _my_ job to make sure you're happy and satisfied in every way."

"What's my job then, Tobias?" I say, completely serious. "I want you to be just as happy, satisfied, and fulfilled as I am. I can't be happy if you're not."

"Do you think I'm not happy?" he asks, reaching up to kiss my lips. "For some reason do you think I'm not satisfied? You do realize _you_ just gave me the best orgasm I've had in my entire life ... _two_ of the best orgasms I've ever had." I blush red at his declaration. "Don't be embarrassed. I'm only telling you the truth."

"Promise me you'll tell me if there's ever anything more I can do or something you want, okay," I quietly say to him, blushing deeper still.

"Of course," he says leaning up and placing a sweet kiss on my lips. I feel him soften further and finally slip out of me. Sadness overwhelms me. He turns us on our sides and gathers me in his arms. "Why do you look so sad right now?" I didn't know my face was betraying what I was feeling. I hide my head in his shoulder.

"I love having you inside me," I say. "I'm always a little sad when it's over." He, impossibly, hugs me even closer to him.

"I know what you mean, love. I _know_ what you mean," he says in my ear. I stretch and a laugh bubbles up from deep inside. "What?"

"I still have my heels on, Tobias!" I say to him, raising my left leg.

"And you wondered why it was so good tonight," he says, joining my laughter. "I _love_ those damn shoes. They turn me on something fierce."


	63. Chapter 63

Tobias sets the alarm to go off earlier than normal to allow us time to get ready for the day and have breakfast before we go to Candor for the rest of Jason's interrogation while I finally remove my black 3-inch high heels I accidentally wore while we were making love. I realize I just fulfilled one of his fantasies, and I wonder momentarily what other fantasies he has.

I lie in his arms, committing every detail of tonight to memory. This is one night I don't ever want to forget. Even though we had already decided to commit our lives to one another, he asked me to marry him when we were in the chasm. It was the perfect setting. I think it was natural for him to propose there, and I couldn't help but say yes. He owns my heart. I'd always heard that sentiment but didn't know what it meant before him. And when we made love tonight, it was earth moving. It's always been great being with him but tonight was spectacular, beyond special, beyond description ... we were one.

We lie naked in each other's arms, covered up by our thick quilt, talking about us and what we'd like in a wedding. We both want a simple ceremony with friends only, maybe my parents and Caleb, too. Soon I find myself yawning almost uncontrollably, exhausted from the stressful events of the day and our enthusiastic lovemaking. I lean up and give Tobias a tender goodnight kiss then roll to my side. He rolls with me, pulling me close to him. I fall asleep in his strong, loving arms, feeling his protective force all around me. A loud banging noise shatters the calm of the late December morning, and I open my eyes trying to figure out what it is I'm hearing.

"What is that?" Tobias asks, sleep thick in his deep voice.

"I think someone's at the door," I say as another loud knock echoes through our quiet apartment. He slides out of bed and heads toward the doorway as I look at the clock, 2:42 a.m. "Hey, don't forget to put something on." He looks down and realizes he was heading to answer the door without a stitch of clothing on. He goes to the dresser and pulls out a pair of sleep pants, slips them on, then hurries down to answer the door. I hear him grumbling about impatience as yet another knock booms through the silence.

"Tris," he yells after a moment. "Come down here. It's important." I slide out of bed, nervous energy spreading through me, and go to the dresser and pull on a pair of long pajama pants and a t-shirt. I grab one of Tobias' old sweatshirts so he can put a shirt on then I head downstairs. Standing in the middle of my living room is Dr. Parrish looking like an absolute wreck.

"What's going on?" I ask, handing Tobias the shirt, confused as to why the good doctor would be pounding on our door in the middle of the night.

"Asher Parrish was arrested tonight and taken to Candor to be interrogated under truth serum tomorrow ... or later today actually," Tobias says quietly, sliding the sweatshirt on over his head. He mouths the words thank you to me.

" _What_ is going on, Four? Tris?" he says. "I think I deserve to know why he was arrested for attacks on Dauntless. He _is_ my brother after all."

"Who notified you of the arrest?" Tobias asks.

"Nathan called me tonight and said he had heard that Asher had been arrested," he says. How did Nathan find out? I wonder if he and Dru know Cameron is wanted also. I didn't think any of this was public knowledge yet.

"Please sit down," I say to him. "Would you like some coffee? This could be a long night." He nods at me and collapses onto our loveseat looking physically and emotionally exhausted. Tobias and I go into the kitchen to make a pot of coffee. "How much do we tell him?" I keep my voice down, making sure only Tobias can hear me.

"I'm not sure," he says, looking over his shoulder at our unplanned guest. "Hopefully we can figure that out rather quickly." When the coffee finishes brewing, I pour each of us a cup and Tobias takes Dr. Parrish his and sits down on the couch. I sit down beside him.

"I have to be honest with you, Doc," Tobias says. "I'm having trouble trusting anyone except for Tris, Will, Tori, and names I can count on one hand. We're going to ask you some questions to see if we can trust you or not. If you answer them to our satisfaction, we'll tell you everything that's going on."

"If you don't," I say, "you may end up in Candor with your brother." Dr. Parrish nods his head at us.

"How long has it been since you've seen Asher?" Tobias asks him.

"I really don't know. I've seen him twice since he unexpectedly chose Erudite at our Choosing Ceremony 20 plus years ago," Dr. Parrish says to us. "It's been at least ... five years I think."

"When I looked in Asher's file, I saw you two are twins. Were you close?" I ask him.

"We were extremely close until about ... eight or nine months before the Choosing Ceremony. Something happened and he ... withdrew. It was scary seeing someone I love go through that," he answers.

"Are you aware Asher was named the new leader of Erudite after Jeanine Matthews' execution?" Tobias asks. This seems rather obvious but it could establish whether he's telling the truth or not.

"Yes," he says. "I read it in one of their news reports. I'm very proud of my brother for rising to the top of his chosen faction but I made no attempts to contact me. I believe in faction before blood." Tobias stares in Dr. Parrish's worried eyes.

"I want the _real_ reason you stopped being friends with Nathan Wright," Tobias says after a few minutes of chilling silence. Dr. Parrish takes a deep breath.

"It really didn't have anything to do with Nathan," he says slowly. "I just couldn't be around Dru anymore, and I didn't want my family around her either."

"Why?" Tobias asks.

"She's a very negative person," he says but it feels like he's holding something back. "I just didn't want to expose my family to her anymore. Sometimes people change. _I_ changed."

"What relationship does your brother have with my aunt?" I ask. This question surprises him.

"I guess you would say they were each other's first love," he says. "I always thought Asher and Dru would get married but something happened, and he left for Erudite without a word, to me anyway. She stayed and married Nathan." Tobias and I look at each other. I nod slightly at him letting him know I think it's time to tell Dr. Parrish exactly what's going on.

"What I'm about to say doesn't leave this room, Doc," Tobias says. Dr. Parrish nods in agreement. For the next hour Tobias tells Dr. Parrish everything that has happened since we were named leaders including finding the well-hidden lists created by Eric and their connection to the assaults and deaths that have been plaguing Dauntless for the past few years and the fact that our names are on the first list; Hana's involvement in providing us detailed composite drawings of the two men who assaulted her; Zeke finding a screen grab of one of his mother's assailants on security footage following her a week before her attack; identifying Cameron in the inactive files and matching him to the sketches and photo grab as one of Hana's attackers; identifying Jason and Jared Grant, who are Erudite members, as Tobias' attackers; and Jason's interrogation under truth serum where he told us of Cameron and Asher's involvement as well as someone else named Ben Riley.

"Do you have any idea why they're doing this?" Dr. Parrish asks.

"We had an idea of what was going on but it was speculation until Jason gave me some information when I first talked to him in the infirmary," I say. "He told me whoever he's working with is angry the war on Abnegation was stopped. They not only hold Dauntless responsible but also my brother and me personally."

"Why would they blame you and your brother for stopping the war on Abnegation?" he asks, interrupting me. I pause for a moment wondering how much of this story to tell him. There's already a price on my entire families heads by Erudite fanatics, so I might as well tell him everything.

"My mom asked me to have Caleb, my brother, investigate the long-range simulation serum that was administered to us several months ago, which he did. When he found inconsistencies in what it did and what we were told it could do, he took his findings to your brother, who turned in Jeanine Matthews and her coconspirators to the Abnegation council. It seems like the only reason he did that was to take over her position at Erudite. I can't pretend to know why all of this is happening, Dr. Parrish. All I know is your brother is helping to kill people."

"Why these people?" he asks. "Why are you two on the list?"

"When I talked to Jason he blamed another group of people for his troubles ... he blamed Divergents," I say. At the word Divergent I see the color start to drain from Dr. Parrish's face.

"What do Divergents have to do with this?" he asks, his voice like ice.

"After eliminating all other commonalities between the names on the first list, we were left with divergence," Tobias says, exposing our secret.

"You and Tris are Divergent?" he says, dragging in an unsteady breath. I see his normally steady hands tremble slightly. I hope sharing our secret with him wasn't a mistake. "That's why I can't be around Dru anymore. She absolutely _despises_ Divergents. You see, my wife and I suspect our oldest daughter, Avery, is Divergent ... just like my wife. Stella has learned to hide it well over the years but we made the decision to keep Avery away from Dru. We didn't want to give her any reasons to become suspicious of us, especially Avery."

"Do you know what caused Dru's feelings?" I ask.

"Yes. Dawson Andresen," Dr. Parrish says. Oh, there's that name again. The one in both Dru and Asher's files but has no file of his own.

"Did this Dawson person do something to them?" Tobias asks. "And what does it have to do with divergence?"

"Dawson was very open about everything, and _he_ wasn't scared of anything. He told anyone who would listen that he was Divergent. Knowing what I know now about divergence, I think he was just saying that. Why? I have no idea. Living with Stella for 19 years and Avery for almost 16 has taught me what divergence looks like, and I now know it's nothing to fear. If Dawson did do something to Dru, I honestly don't know about it. I always thought he had something to do with why she and Asher broke up but Ash wouldn't tell me anything. Then he left. I was stunned. He broke my heart."

"Can you tell us what happened to Dawson Andresen?" I ask. Dr. Parrish looks at me dumbfounded.

"You really don't know?" he says.

"No, Doc, there's absolutely no record of any Andresen family living in Dauntless ... ever," Tobias says. "Tris has looked, _twice_."

"That's because he wasn't born in Dauntless. He came to live with his aunt when he was 5- or 6-years-old after his parents were killed," he says.

"Do you know his aunt's name and if she's still here?" Tobias asks. Dr. Parrish thinks for a moment then frowns.

"I know I should know who she is but it's not coming to me right now. The one thing I do know is it wasn't Andresen," Dr. Parrish says then his eyes light up. "I think I know where a file might still be located, Four. In the infirmary. Dawson died 20 years ago. His autopsy file and any other medical records should be in the records room. He was pulled out of the chasm about a month before our Choosing Ceremony. He was the same age as Asher, Nathan, Miles, and me. No one really knows what happened to him, but I always suspected he was murdered."

"By ..." Tobias prompts.

"I'd rather not speculate," he says, hanging his head. Something tells me he suspects his brother or maybe Dru was involved but he isn't willing to share his theory. "But he was despised in Dauntless. It could have been anyone who lived here at the time. Dawson was the definition of a bully. He was a big, mean brute. He belittled everyone in his path. People twice his age were afraid of him. The leaders were afraid of him. I can't think of a single person who actually liked him and called him a friend. None of us did. I also can't think of a single person who mourned his death. His death was the only time a public funeral wasn't held until a few months ago when the leaders were put to death."

"There was an infraction in Asher and Dru's file for an assault on Dawson Andresen," I say, and Dr. Parrish actually starts laughing, loudly.

"No way," he says. "There's no way in hell that Asher and Dru could have assaulted Dawson. He made two of Asher and Dru put together. I don't believe that."

"Unfortunately, there are no details as to why the infraction was put in their files," I say. "Can you think of anything else at all, anything that can help us? I don't know why, but whatever happened between Asher, Dru, and Dawson Andresen 20 years ago triggered what's going on in Dauntless now."

"I really can't, Tris," Dr. Parrish says. "But I tell you what, I'm going to go to the infirmary right now and look for his records." He gets up and moves towards the door. "Do you think my brother _actually_ killed people?"

"I don't know," Tobias and I say at the same time.

"I'll bring whatever I find directly to you. If I don't find anything, I'll text you, Four," he says walking out our door. I look at the clock and see it's a little before 5 a.m., and there's still an hour left before our alarm is set to go off but neither one of us is tired anymore. I cuddle up against his side, and he automatically wraps his arm around me.

"Is something wrong, Tris?" Tobias asks me, pulling my chin up to look at him.

"I'm worried," I say. "I'm worried there are people out there right now who want my entire family dead, and we don't know where they are. I'm worried about what the interrogations today will reveal. I'm worried our secrets will come out. You distracted me very well last night, but now everything seems twice as bad." He pulls me closer.

"Are you upset I took you out last night?" he tentatively asks. I pull away from him and look into his eyes.

"How can I be upset about last night?" I say, looking at my exquisite engagement ring that sits on my left hand. "Last night was absolutely perfect on every level but we were pretending a bit, don't you think." Tobias narrows his eyes and frowns at me. "Pretending we didn't have a care in the world. Pretending there isn't a reason to be terrified we could lose each other. Pretending my name is _not_ on a list that some faceless group of individuals wants eliminated."

"Pretending? No," he says shaking his head at me. "Forgetting, ignoring, overlooking? Yes, but not pretending."

"Isn't it the same?" I ask, sadness and fear creeping into my voice.

"Come here," he says pulling me onto his lap, so that I'm straddling him. We wrap our arms around each other and hold tight to the one thing we cannot lose, the other. "When we were in Stephanie's office yesterday and you said you wanted to marry me, I knew I wanted to propose immediately. I didn't care about the crisis hanging over our heads. I didn't mean to act like what's going on around us isn't upsetting, terrifying even, but sometimes we need to lock the outside world away and concentrate on each other. Don't you think?" I feel the familiar stirrings of desire deep in the pit of my stomach and know exactly what he means.

"Yes," I say, pulling him closer to me still. "I'm scared, Tobias, and I hate to admit it. It isn't very Dauntless to feel this way."

"I bet even the fiercest Dauntless member gets scared once in a while," he says in my ear, comforting me. "It's only natural. Why don't you go get ready for the interrogations, and I'll make us some breakfast while we wait for Dr. Parrish. He should be on his way back by now since we haven't heard anything from him." I pull his mouth to mine and kiss him gently, trying not to ignite the passion that's simmering just below the surface. When I can no longer breathe, I move away from him and head up the stairs to get ready. I shower, put on an outfit more suitable for my leader position, apply my makeup, and braid my hair then go back to Tobias. The smell of bacon and eggs is wafting through the apartment and my stomach growls. Just as I'm about to sit down at the island, a knock sounds at the door.

"I'll get it," I say. I open the door and Dr. Parrish is standing there with a rather thick file in his hand. "Come in."

"I can't," he says. "I've taken up enough of your time today. I'm sorry. I think this is what you've been looking for." He hands me the file, and when I open it I recognize part of its contents as being his missing personnel file. Someone hid it in the infirmary? Why would they do that? "I shouldn't have come to you in the middle of the night but I needed some answers. Thank you for trusting me enough to tell me what's going on."

"Actually, we were going to ask you some questions about Dawson Andresen so everything worked out for the best," Tobias says, shaking Dr. Parrish's hand. "Remember, not a word about what we discussed with anyone. It's of the utmost importance." He nods then walks away. I close and lock the door behind him and open the file.

"Eat first, before it gets cold," Tobias says, taking the file out of my hand and closing it. I groan but he's right, another 15 minutes at the most isn't going to make the information disappear, not when it's finally sitting right here in front of me. I eat the fantastic breakfast Tobias fixed and try not to fixate on the file folder sitting on the island between us. It really isn't working. When I finally finish, I put my dishes in the dishwasher and quickly clean up the kitchen. When Tobias finishes, he goes upstairs to get ready for the day.

After the kitchen is pristine, I open the file folder and look at its contents. I wonder why it's so heavy. This is the thickest Dauntless file I've ever seen. I quickly realize there's more here than a normal file. I sit back down at my spot at the island and start sorting through the papers. The information before me is quite detailed. There are incident reports, which should be filed with the other incident reports not tucked away in the infirmary records room, medical records, personnel records, and much more. I finally see the reason why his records might have been _misplaced_. Max, our old Dauntless leader, was his cousin.


	64. Chapter 64

I've never wished anyone dead in my entire life, but after reading just a few pages of Dawson Andresen's file, someone did Dauntless and the rest of the city a favor by pushing him into the chasm ... if that's indeed what happened. I've learned that when he was 5-year-old both his parents died under mysterious circumstances in Erudite, where he was born. He was sent to live with his only living relative, Maxine Hastings, his mother's sister, who just happened to be Max Hastings', our deceased Dauntless leader, mother.

Dawson's file is full of infractions. I imagine the only reason he wasn't kicked out of Dauntless is because it's against the law to make a dependent factionless. Once the initiation process begins, however, anything's possible including jail time or becoming factionless but Dawson didn't make it to his Choosing Ceremony. Approximately one month before he was to decide which faction would be his permanent home, his badly battered body was pulled out of the chasm. It was determined he jumped to his death but from what I've seen of his autopsy report, suicide isn't supported. There was fingertip bruising around his throat. He had fresh fingernail scratches on both cheeks and down one arm. His knuckles were red and raw just like Tobias' were the morning after his fight with Jason and Jared, indicating to me that Dawson was in a fight with someone right before he died. He also had severe trauma to the back of his skull. Although that's consistent with hitting the rocks at the bottom of the chasm, if he jumped into the chasm where it says he did, the river is calm there, and there are no rocks. It seems like his death file is full of inconsistencies. It's obvious that no one cared what happened to him so they covered up his death.

I set aside his autopsy report and start looking over the incident reports, and it seems like Dr. Parrish was right, Dawson was a bully but I don't think that's strong enough of a word. He was a mean, sick, arrogant, twisted son of a bitch. He picked on people younger than him, older than him, it really didn't matter. I don't see a pattern except that if you caught his attention, you could very well become his next victim. I'm looking at numerous reports on physical altercations, assaults, thefts, drug usage, and curfew violations but the incident report that bothers me the most is the account of a sexual assault on a 15 year old girl almost eight months before the Choosing Ceremony. The victim's name isn't listed because she refused to give it or press any charges according to the guard who took her statement. I'm surprised it isn't in the file anyway since she was so badly beaten she was in the infirmary for 10 days.

Tobias puts his hands on my shoulders and brings me back to the present. I jump out of my seat, my heart hammering in my chest, adrenaline coursing through my veins, and throw a punch at his midsection. He clearly isn't expecting this, and it doubles him over.

"Oh, my God! I'm so sorry," I say, remorse obvious on my face. I put my hands on his back as he's doubled over in pain, panting for breath.

"What the hell was that for?" he asks glaring at me while he sits down at the island once he catches his breath. I calm myself and sit back down beside him.

"I am _so_ sorry, Tobias. I know it isn't an excuse, but you scared me, and defending myself was a gut reaction," I say. "It's this file. Dawson Andresen was worse than Dr. Parrish knew. He terrorized Dauntless for the 11 years he was here. I've never seen so many infractions and incident reports in my entire life. There are too many to name. I guess it has me on edge."

"I didn't mean to scare you, Tris," he says.

"Don't you dare apologize to me," I say, mortified. "I just hit you." I wonder if he'll ever forgive me.

"You said you were sorry. I believe you. I have to admit I'm not as worried as I was before. You definitely can take care of yourself. You pack one hell of a punch," he says with a chuckle.

"You did teach me well," I say.

He pulls me into his arms and kisses me gently for a moment before he asks, "Did you find anything else out about him?"

"He was Max's cousin," I reply, pulling back. "I think Max hid all this information. It's the only thing that makes sense. There's more here than just his medical records."

"Maybe he was embarrassed Dawson was a part of the family," Tobias says but I can tell he doesn't believe his own words.

"I don't know," I say. I look toward the clock and realize we need to leave for Candor soon so I better get my dress, mask, and shoes to Christina for the masquerade ball tonight. "You look over the file while I take my dress and stuff to Christina's." He sighs.

"I forgot about the ball," he says.

"Not in the mood are you?" I ask. "I'm not either but we need to make an appearance. The great thing about tonight's party is we can duck out and no one's ever going to miss us because they won't know we're gone."

He's already turned his attention to the file so I kiss him on the cheek and head upstairs, dragging a bit from getting woke up in the middle of the night. I grab my dress and various items for tonight and go back downstairs and head straight to the door.

"I'll be right back," I say to him with my hand on the door knob.

"You're right," he says. "This guy was something else. He abused his aunt _and_ Max. Maybe I wasn't far off saying Max was embarrassed Dawson was a part of the family."

"That's too bad," I say.

I go to Christina and Will's and knock on their door. Within seconds, Christina opens the door and invites me inside. She takes my dress and bags and puts them with hers. Then she asks if I heard any strange noises in the middle of the night, and I tell her about Dr. Parrish's visit. As loud as he was knocking, I imagine half of Dauntless heard him. Will comes downstairs and offers me a cup of coffee, which I gladly accept, and we sit down at their kitchen table. There's a knock on the door, and I know it's Tobias. Will lets him in, and he sits down at the table to have a cup of coffee with us. We tell them about Dr. Parrish's visit, Asher's arrest, and finding Dawson Andresen's file. Tobias gives Will the thick file for safe keeping and tells him he'll keep in contact with him today via text messages and to make sure that any Dauntless members implicated during the interrogations are promptly brought to Candor.

"We better go. Thanks for the coffee," Tobias says. "I'll go get out coats." He leaves and returns almost immediately wearing his heavy black leather jacket and carrying mine. He holds it up so I can put it on.

"Oh, my _God!_ " Christina says. Tobias, Will, and I all jump. Will impulsively moves to her and puts his hand on her abdomen, worried about the baby. Tobias and I are looking around for any signs of danger. "Is that an engagement ring on your finger, Beatrice Prior?" I look down at my left hand. This wasn't news I'd planned to share today but it isn't a secret either.

"Yes," I slowly say and she squeals. She practically throws herself into my arms.

"I know you don't have time right now, but I want _every_ detail, Tris. This is a big deal. Huge," she whispers in my ear. I hug her back once my shock wears off. I see Will congratulating Tobias out of the corner of my eye and shaking his hand.

"I'll tell you all about it," I say, "when we're getting ready for the masquerade ball."

"You promise?" she asks, still holding onto me.

"I promise, Christina. I'll tell you all about it tonight," I say. "Could you two not say anything to anyone else? Four and I would like to make the announcement when everyone's together." They both nod at my request.

"Sorry to cut this short, but we _really_ have to go," Tobias says taking my hand in his. "I'll text you if I need anything, Will. Let Tori know about Asher Parrish and what we found out about Dawson Andresen. You guys have a good day. We'll see you later." We say goodbye to Will and Christina and head down the stairs. We walk to the garage together where the car is parked and leave the compound. Tobias holds my hand on our drive to Candor. Every once in a while I feel his fingers glide over my diamond. I think there might be something on his mind but he isn't saying anything. Although he looks perfectly at ease, something about his actions is nagging me.

"Are you okay?" I hesitantly ask him. He looks my way and smiles.

"Yes, why?" he asks.

"I get the feeling there's something on your mind," I say. He looks into my eyes for longer than necessary since his eyes should be on the road in front of us.

"Very perceptive. You know me so well," he says with a smile lighting his face then his face falls just a bit. "What if Caleb or your dad sees your engagement ring? I want us to sit down with your parents and Caleb for that matter and tell them about our engagement and the baby. I don't want them finding out about it like Will and Christina just did."

"Do you want me to take my ring off?" I say, sadness creeping into my voice.

"No," he says before I finish my sentence. "I put that ring on your finger for a reason. I want the whole world to know you're mine." My heart constricts at his words, and I return his dazzling smile.

"I'll try to keep my hand out of their line of sight today," I say. "Hopefully everyone will be too caught up in the interrogations to notice." He takes our laced hands and lift them to his lips and places a light kiss on my engagement ring and then on the back of my hand. In no time at all, we pull up in front of the Merciless Mart, and I see Caleb and Dad waiting by the curb.

"Hi, Dad, Caleb," I say getting out of the car. Tobias walks around the car and joins us on the sidewalk. "Dad, can I ask you a question?" He looks at me for a moment.

"What is it, Beatrice?" he asks.

"What exactly did Marcus say when you told him he was removed from the council?" I ask.

"I didn't tell Four because I didn't want you two to worry," he says.

"I'm already worried," Tobias says just as I say, "I need to know, Dad."

"He said you'll be sorry for opening your mouth, and he's going to make you pay," he says. "But what worried me the most wasn't what he said, everyone at one time or another makes an empty threat. What worried me was the look in his eyes. He _meant_ every single word he was saying." Tobias moves closer to me, and I can feel nervous energy rolling off him in waves.

"Has there been any other news?" I ask.

"Asher Parrish was arrested last night," Caleb says. "Some armed Candor walked him out of Erudite in handcuffs. The place is buzzing this morning with rumors. We can't believe we're going through this again so soon. I think this might make Erudite even less trusting of everyone than we were before." It seems odd Caleb would feel that way since it's been Erudite leaders conspiring with people to do harm to the _other_ factions, but I don't say anything.

"We know," I say. "His brother woke us up in the night, gave us the news, and demanded answers."

"Brother?" Caleb and Dad say at the same time.

"Yeah. Asher has a twin brother who still lives in Dauntless. His name is Zander," I say. "He's the head of our infirmary and a much trusted friend. He's sick over his brother's involvement in the attacks and deaths."

"We better get inside," Tobias says taking my left hand in his, trying to hide the engagement ring from my family. "It's almost time for the interrogations to start." We all file through the oversized glass doors of Candor's headquarters and are immediately greeted by Jack Kang and a short, balding man with black hair and eyes just as dark. He's introduced to us as Miles Randolf, another leader of Candor. My head snaps in his direction as I take in the unassuming man standing next to the handsome leader. The name is extremely familiar to me. Where have I heard it before? Realization dawns on me. He's a former member of Dauntless and was a friend of Nathan, Zander, and Asher's. I hold my hand out to him, and he takes it firmly in his.

"I've heard some about you from my mother," I say. His eyes narrow as he looks at me. "You were friends with her brother, Nathan."

"Natalie," he says on a breath of air. Jack gives his colleague a sideways glance. "You're Natalie's daughter aren't you?"

"Yes, I am," I say. "She told me you were friends with my uncle Nathan and his friends Zander and Asher Parrish. His arrest must have been a surprise."

"I will admit it was a shock to see my old friend in handcuffs last night," he says. I think he knows I'm suspicious of him but who could blame me with all I've learned this week.

"Not only was Asher Parrish arrested last night, so was Ben Riley. We haven't been able to locate Cameron Wright yet," Jack says to us. "The interrogations will be done by Niles today, Four. If you have specific questions for any of the prisoners, please relay them to Niles or myself at any time. The interrogations will be held on the top floor, and there will be an audience. Jason will go first followed by Ben and then Asher."

"I have a feeling at least one other person who isn't in custody yet will be implicated today," Tobias says. "I have another Dauntless leader awaiting instruction to immediately arrest her and bring her here for interrogation, if she's implicated that is."

"A woman?" Jack says, sounding like he doesn't quite believe a woman is capable of masterminding this trouble.

"Yes. Drusilla Wright, Cameron's mother," Tobias says. Miles looks flabbergasted. I don't know why I feel this way, but it looks as if his past is coming back to haunt him. "Tris and I believe she and Asher are the instigators, and we also believe it stems from something that happened shortly before his choosing ceremony over 20 years ago, although we have no idea what that might be."

Soon Summer Miller, Amity's representative to the council, and Sofia Rengard, Candor's representative, join us, and we're taken to the bank of elevators at the back of the entry way. Jack puts a white key in a black panel on the elevator, and we travel to the top floor of the Merciless Mart and exit into yet another nondescript black and white hallway. We silently follow behind Jack and Miles down a few more hallways and through a set of double doors. We step into a cavernous three-story room with empty spaces in the walls where there should be windows. I can see the cloudy sky above me through the glass ceiling. It looks like it could snow. Although I can't feel it, I can hear the wind howling throughout the room, and I momentarily wonder how this room will maintain its warmth without windows if it does storm.

I look around the vast space before me and see that the marble floors are white like in the holding rooms. In the center of the floor in black marble is the symbol of Candor, an unbalanced scale, surrounded by two empty white chairs fixed in place and a white metal table between them. The white walls are lit with row upon row of dim yellow lights giving the entire room an eerie glow. The white wooden tiered benches that wrap around the edge of the room are mostly empty with the exception of a few stragglers here for the interrogations, and they aren't just Candor members. I see every faction color except for ours represented in the small audience. I look at every face and am surprised to see my mother's among them. We make eye contact and smile at each other. I nudge Caleb and nod in her direction, and they beam at one another. This is the first time they've seen each other since our Choosing Ceremony.

When the double doors bang open, the noise echoes throughout the sizable room causing several members of the audience to flinch. Jason Grant is practically dragged into the room surrounded by several armed Dauntless and Candor guards because of his broken arm and broken leg. He's brought to the middle of the room and pushed down into one of the uncomfortable-looking interrogation chairs. This is going to be a long day of interviews so members of Candor kindly bring each one of us who represent the council a chair so we can sit down. We place them in a semicircle around the two interrogation chairs facing the audience. Once Tobias sits down, he starts writing out different questions on a pad of paper he asked Jack for then he gets up and hands it to Niles. I see him look over the list and nod at Tobias. He then sits the pad on the empty chair by Jason.

"We'll have quiet now," Niles says in an authoritative voice I haven't heard him use before. "For those of you who don't know, my name is Niles Murphy. I will be conducting the interrogations today. Since you were able to withstand the effects of yesterday's truth serum, Jason, and made yourself pass out, we will give you a stronger dosage approved by the serum researchers at Erudite. They have assured us there's no way for you not to answer fully and in a timely manner." Niles walks over to the little table sitting between the empty chair and Jason's chair and opens the black box that houses the truth serum. He hands Jason an alcohol swab, and he resentfully wipes his neck off then tosses it in the white trash can Jack holds out to him. Niles takes a syringe out of the box and administers the drug to Jason then tosses it away. I see Jason instantaneously slump in his chair as the drug flows through his system, and his eyes glaze over.

"Some of the questions I will be asking are repeats from yesterday, but this interrogation is being recorded, yesterday's was not," Niles says looking at Jason. He doesn't acknowledge that he's being spoken to. "What is your full name?"

"Jason Alexander Grant," he answers immediately. A confused look lands on his face when he answers and then he frowns.

"How old are you?"

"20 years old."

"What are your parents' names?" Niles asks.

"Alexander and Katherine Grant," Jason says. He once again frowns. He looks up into Niles face and seems to look right through him. I wonder if he'll even want to resist today. So far he automatically answers then looks confused.

"What faction were you born into, and what faction did you choose?" Niles asks.

"Erudite born and Erudite chosen," he says proudly.

"Is your allegiance with your chosen faction?"

"Of course it is. There's no better faction than Erudite," he says proudly but as soon as he finishes confusion once again twists his features. He really doesn't seem to know what's going on. Niles continues asking him the exact same questions Tobias asked him yesterday about his attack and eliciting the same responses. He doesn't seem to be in pain like he was yesterday, but he also puts up zero resistance. He just seems to not understand why he's answering the questions posed to him in the first place. When he repeats that my entire family has been targeted for death, my parents can't hide their shock. After a half-hour rapid-fire question and answer session, we finally move past all the information we learned yesterday.

"I need you to tell me everything you know about _any_ lists involved with Dauntless, Erudite, Abnegation, Candor, or Amity," Niles says to Jason.

"I'm not supposed to talk about the lists," he says calmly. That must be a part of the truth, or he wouldn't be able to say it right now.

"It's okay, Jason," Niles says, almost soothing the prisoner. "You can tell me all about the lists. We need to know about the lists."

"There's a list of suspected Divergents for Dauntless, Candor, Amity, and Erudite that are to be eliminated. Everyone in Abnegation is to be eliminated because they conceal Divergents within their faction." I reach out my hand to touch Tobias'. I can actually feel his nervous pulse in his fingertips. Will we live to see a conclusion to this mess if our secret comes out?


	65. Chapter 65

The entire room goes silent when Jason mentions Divergents under the truth serum. There's a huge misconception in our city that Divergents are a danger to our society and need to be eliminated. I wonder if any of the people in this room honestly care that suspected Divergents are being assaulted and killed. There has to be a way to hide the truth and make everyone think the names on the list aren't Divergent. _Use your Erudite brain, Tris_.

"I need more details about these lists, Jason," Niles says.

"There are two lists of names for each faction, except Abnegation. The first list consists of suspected Divergents," Jason says. There's our salvation, _suspected_ Divergents. They don't know without a doubt we're Divergent, and it's possible some of the names aren't Divergent. Not that I deserve to die because of how I was born, but just because someone is suspected of divergence definitely doesn't mean they should have a target on their back. "It's our mission to eliminate these people as quickly as possible. They bring down our society. They are worse than the factionless. The second list consists of a class member who's paid to inform on the Divergent. They keep track of their movements and report back to us. It's simple but effective." I see Tobias write something down on his notepad then catch Jack's attention. He comes over to where Tobias and I are sitting.

"Have Niles ask this question," he quietly says. Jack unfolds the piece of paper, reads the single question scrawled across the page, and nods at Tobias. He then walks over to Niles and hands him the paper.

"What makes you think the people on the lists are Divergent?" Niles asks, reading from Tobias' note. For the first time today Jason pauses before answering the question and looks like he's in excruciating pain.

"I don't know," he finally spits out.

"Why do you think they're Divergent at all?"

"That's what I was told," he says. The answers to the past two questions revealed that Jason is just a pawn in someone else's game.

"Who gives you your orders, Jason?" Niles asks making the same realization I just did.

"Cameron does," he says. "But Asher has also."

"Have you ever been ordered to hurt anyone in a faction?"

"Yes, I have."

"Do you know what their names are and what factions they came from?" Niles asks.

"I was ordered to kill Samantha Brandon and Carrie Lemming from Erudite; Jake Walters from Amity; Bailey Young, Trent Smith, and Darby Ross from Candor, which I did; and Daniel Parks from Dauntless, although I wasn't part of the assault on him. Jared and Cameron did it. I was also ordered to kill Andrew and Natalie Prior from Abnegation, Beatrice Prior from Dauntless, and Caleb Prior from Erudite. Jared and I tried to get to Beatrice on Christmas night but her boyfriend is extremely protective of her. We couldn't catch her alone so we decided to attack in hopes of killing them both. That isn't what happened," he says hanging his head. It seems so easy for him to be talking about killing all these people. "Four injured me and killed my brother, Jared." There's silence in the room, except for the whistle of the wind. I see Jack pull his phone out of his pocket and look at something. The look on his face tells me he's corroborating Jason's story. He looks furious right now.

"Do you know of anyone's involvement beside Jared, Cameron, Ben, and Asher?" Niles asks, regaining his voice. Jason frowns at the question but doesn't answer. This time he doesn't look like he is in pain.

"I don't know her name," Jason says after a moment. "They never told me."

"Have you seen her?" Niles asks.

"No, I haven't," Jason says. This time Tobias gets up and whispers something in Niles ear before returning to his seat.

"I know you don't know her name, Jason, but do you know _who_ this woman is," Niles says.

"Cameron's mother," he immediately says then frowns and looks around confused. Ah, Drusilla.

Jack looks at Tobias, and they nod at one another in silent communication. Tobias pulls his phone out of his pocket and sends a text to Will obviously telling him it's time to bring Dru in. Almost immediately I hear Tobias' phone sound letting him know he has a message. He looks at the screen then hands the phone to me. My eyes take in the sketch filling up the screen. I look up into Tobias' eyes, and he has the same bewildered expression on his face. I pull his ear down to me.

"Who's this?" I whisper.

"The person Samaire saw at the train," he replies. "Tori just drew it."

"Do you have any more questions for the prisoner, Four?" Niles asks looking annoyed he just caught us talking.

"Actually, we have one more," Tobias says. He gets up, walks to Niles, and hands him his phone then he quietly says something that I can't hear.

"Jason," Niles says holding the phone up in front of him. "Who is this?"

"Jared," he automatically responds. So that's what Jared looks like without the severe head injuries.

"Do you have any other questions?" Niles repeats to Tobias returning his phone. Tobias looks at me, and I shake my head. I think we've learned everything we can from Jason.

"No, we don't, Niles," Tobias says.

"Very well. I have one final question for you, Jason," he says looking at the prisoner. "We ask everyone who goes under truth serum this question. What's your biggest regret?" Jason once again raises his head to look at Niles. I'm surprised to see wetness in his eyes.

"My biggest regret is asking Jared to join Cameron, Ben, and me on our mission. He didn't want to be a part of the group. He thought we were foolish to listen to Asher but I talked him into it. Now he's dead, and it's all my fault," he says, tears spilling down his cheeks. This is the first time he's acknowledged his part in his brother's death out loud.

"Thank you for your honesty, Jason," Niles says and every member of Candor joins him sending an echo throughout the room. Niles then goes to the Candor and Dauntless guards and quietly gives them orders. They pick Jason up from his seat and drag him out of the room. Tobias comes to sit next to me. He has a worried look on his face.

"Divergents," he quietly says so no one else can hear him. "We knew that's what this was about but it's hard _hearing_ it out loud."

"I know," I say angling myself toward him. "What are we going to do when they find out our names are on Dauntless' list? How do we convince them it isn't true?" He pulls me into his arms and kisses the top of my head.

"I don't know, Tris, but we'll think of something," he says. "Do you want to talk to your mom and dad, too?" I look up and see Caleb talking to our parents.

"Not now," I say. "Mom and Caleb haven't seen each other since the morning of our Choosing Ceremony. They need some time together."

"Are you okay?" he asks, concern in his voice, after we've been quiet for a while.

"Actually, our early morning is catching up with me. I could really use a nap," I say, snuggling closer to him and closing my eyes. All I need is a minute or two of rest. I feel one of his arms tighten around my waist as his other arm caresses my back lulling me to sleep.

The echoing bang of the double doors jerk me awake, and I pull away from Tobias confused. I can't believe he let me fall asleep here in the middle of the Candor interrogation room. After taking in how I feel, I almost instantly realize I'm not as tired, and I'm definitely more alert than I was just a few minutes ago. I look at Tobias and mouth thank you to him. He just smiles in return.

I finally turn my attention to the prisoner who was escorted into the center of the room and shoved into the interrogation chair. My eyes widen with recognition and surprise. I must still be asleep. In front of us is a tall, thin, lanky young man with shoulder length dark hair that's parted down the middle and tucked behind each ear. He has piercing light blue eyes and a menacing look on his unattractive face. If he had multiple facial piercings, this prisoner would look exactly like Eric.

"God, why didn't I figure it out earlier?" Tobias says mainly to himself but loud enough for everyone in the room to hear him. He turns and looks at me. "Ben Riley, _Eric's_ brother no doubt. They look like they could be twins. I knew the name Riley sounded familiar to me. I don't know why I didn't make the connection until now." It's obvious to see that this creature who slouches in front of us is related to Eric when you look at him. At the mention of Eric's name, Ben looks over to where Tobias and I are sitting. His eyes narrow into little slits as he glares at us. He obviously knows who Tobias is. Miles, Jack, and Niles give Tobias a warning look. He waves them over.

"What is this about, Four?" Miles says.

"I am 99% positive this is the brother of Eric Riley, one of the Dauntless leaders who was executed a few months ago," he says. "I don't know if this information is useful to you or not. Just the look on his face tells me he's a lot like Eric."

"Thank you for the information. It does help," Jack says. "Niles you can continue."

"I didn't mean to interrupt," Tobias says bowing his head Abnegation style. "My apologies." Jack narrows his eyes at him. I think he may just have unknowingly given away one of his secrets.

Niles walks to Ben and gives him his name and tells him he's going to be conducting the interrogation. He also tells him he'll be using the stronger truth serum on him. None of us want a repeat of yesterday with Jason. This news doesn't seem to faze Ben. Niles hands him an alcohol swab and tells him to wipe off the left side of his neck. Ben does so with no hesitation and no emotion. Niles retrieves the second syringe of truth serum from the black box on the table then puts his hand on top of Ben's head and roughly tilts it to the side, exposing the left side of his neck for the jab of the needle. I watch as Niles injects the cloudy bluish serum into Ben, and immediately Ben slumps in his chair, and his eyes glaze over. He's ready for his interrogation.

"What's your full name?" Niles asks.

"Benjamin Keith Riley," he replies, then a frown settles on his face.

"How old are you?"

"20," Ben says.

"What are your parents' names?" he asks.

"Brad and Sherry Riley," Ben says.

"Are you related to the late Eric Riley, Dauntless leader?" Niles asks.

"Yes, he was my brother," he says. So it's true, Eric had a brother.

"What faction were you born into, and which faction did you choose?" he asks.

"Erudite," he says with no inflection in his voice, "for both."

"Is your loyalty with your chosen faction?" Niles asks, saying it like he knows the answer.

"I have no allegiance to Erudite. They haven't done anything for me," Ben automatically says then he looks like he can't believe what just came out of his mouth. It's obviously the truth or he wouldn't have said it but maybe it's a truth buried so deep he didn't even know it existed. Caleb scoffs when he hears Ben's putdown of Erudite.

"Who are you loyal to then, Ben?" Niles asks.

"Cameron and Jason," he says through gritted teeth, pain visible on his face. "They're my best friends. I would die for Cam and Jason." _You'll probably die_ with _Cameron and Jason,_ I think.

"Do you know about the lists?" Niles asks.

"Yes." That wasn't a specific enough question for Ben.

"I remember your brother," he says. "I interrogated him before he was executed for his crimes. He wasn't very forthcoming even under truth serum. It looks like you are the same way. It also looks like you will be joining him very soon." I look around the room and shock seems to be the dominant emotion on everyone's face. Ben just looks pissed off at the moment. "Tell me what you know about the lists, Ben."

"You're an ass," he says, then he relays the same information of two lists per faction except Abnegation that Jason just told us.

"How are the suspected Divergents weeded out?" Niles repeats for Ben. Confusion crosses Ben's face.

"I never asked and was never told. I just did what I was told to do," he says. Not only does he look exactly like Eric but he _acts_ exactly like Eric, too. Niles takes a deep breath, calming his nerves I imagine.

"Have you ever been ordered to attack any member of Erudite, Amity, Candor, Abnegation, or Dauntless?" Niles asks.

"Yes," Ben says matter-of-factly, although he doesn't elaborate.

"What are the names and factions of the people you assaulted?" Niles asks getting more irritated and impatient by the minute. Ben pauses for a minute, confusion washing over his face.

"I don't know their names. They were Divergent. Their names weren't important," he says. I glance at Tobias, and he's glaring at Ben with a murderous look on his face.

"What about their factions?" Niles asks. "Tell me what the factions are of the people you assaulted." Ben sits quietly, not saying a word. He doesn't even look like he's in pain.

"I _killed_ people in Erudite, Candor, Abnegation, _and_ Amity," he easily says. Oh, my God. This is more widespread than any of us realized.

"Who knows the names of the people you attacked and killed, Ben?" Jack asks interrupting Niles. This time Ben looks uncomfortable.

"Asher and Cameron," Ben finally replies. "Dru maybe."

"Has Dru been arrested yet?" Jack asks.

"Let me check on her status," Tobias says. He takes his phone out of his pocket and dials Will. They have a short conversation then he hangs up the phone. "I'm afraid they're still looking for her. It seems she figured out she would be arrested today."

"How?" Jack asks.

"We're not sure exactly but Dr. Zander Parrish, Asher's brother, was tipped off to his brother's arrest last night by Nathan Wright, Dru's husband," I say. "Four and I discussed how he would have gotten the information. It seems to me that Cameron has been in contact with Dru and she told her husband."

"I want an arrest warrant issued for this Nathan Wright also," Jack yells. No one moves. "NOW!" Several Candor guards scramble into action. Tobias takes his phone out of his pocket once again and this time sends a message to Will. He gets an immediate response.

"Jack," Tobias says. "Nathan's at his apartment. He's told my guards he doesn't know where Dru is, and she's the one who told him that Asher was arrested. He will be brought here to Candor but I'm not going to have him arrested. I don't want a good Dauntless member having an infraction in their file for no reason." Jack looks increasingly angry. He obviously doesn't like having his authority tested. Maybe no one's ever done it before.

"Very well, _Four_ ," he says with spite. He calls over one of the remaining armed Candor guards left in the room and gives them instructions to stop the arrest warrant for Nathan Wright. "I hope you know what you're doing."

"Me, too," Tobias says under his breath. He sits down beside me again.

"I just thought of something, Tobias," I quietly say. "Jason, Jared, Cameron, and Ben don't match Hana's second sketch. I think we need to ask who else is involved." Tobias gets up and relays what I said to Niles. He nods.

"Ben, we need the full names of every single person involved in your group," he says.

"Jason Grant, Jared Grant, Cameron Wright, Asher Parrish, and Dru Wright," he says.

"There has to be others," Niles says. "Do you know of anyone else?" Ben looks amazed.

"I just told you who's involved, man," he says. "That's all I know. Ask someone else your stupid questions." Niles looks our way and Tobias shakes his head at him. He obviously doesn't know much either.

"Ben, I have one final question for you," Niles asks sounding weary. "What is your greatest regret?"

"Getting caught," he says matter-of-factly. Oh, he's definitely Eric's brother. I see Niles shaking his head at him.

"That is _exactly_ what your brother said when I asked him that question three months ago," Niles says to Ben with disgust in his voice. "Take this piece of crap away." Two armed Dauntless guards approach Ben and drag him out of the room.

"Bring in Asher Parrish," Jack says in his authoritative voice.


	66. Chapter 66

Soon a very tall, muscular, good looking man with matching dark brown hair and eyes is brought into the room surrounded by several armed Candor and Dauntless guards. He, too, is made to sit in the interrogation chair in the center of the room. I see he isn't a carbon copy of his twin brother but I definitely notice a resemblance. I think back to when I looked at his Dauntless file, and I note he's aged quite gracefully. He doesn't seem to have any wrinkles on his face and only a little gray at his temples. He looks like the distinguished member of society he portrays. I wonder what we'll learn from his interrogation. I notice he can't keep his eyes off of Miles.

Tobias' phone sounds, and he looks at it expecting an update on Dru's whereabouts. Instead confusion crosses his face. He hands it to me so I can read the message.

Four

I tested my DNA against the unknown sample. I needed to know if my brother was personally killing people or not. I just got the results, and what I found surprised me. I am a familial match to the unknown DNA sample, although it isn't close enough of a match for it to be Asher's DNA. It has to be from a son. I didn't even know he had a son. I hope you find this information useful.

Dr. Zander Parrish

Asher must have a son who he drew into this mess. I hand Tobias his phone, and he gets up and immediately shows the text to Miles, Jack, and Niles. They all shake their heads in disgust.

"I think we need to get DNA samples from each of the suspects," Tobias says to Jack and Niles. "Do you have someone who could do that?"

"We do but since we have to send our results out to Erudite, we wouldn't have them back until next week at the earliest, and who knows if their lab is trustworthy."

"Do you have DNA kits?" I ask, approaching them. "I could perform the tests on Ben and Asher. I had one performed on me so I know how they work. Four can call Dr. Parrish and have him collect the kits and take them back to Dauntless for analysis. We would have the results by the end of business today."

"Okay. That sounds good. Adam," Jack says. A blonde-haired boy comes running to his side. "Please collect two DNA kits and bring them to me." He doesn't say anything to Jack, he just quickly leaves us behind. Tobias pulls his phone out again and calls Dr. Parrish. He tells him we are going to collect DNA samples from the prisoners, and we need him to run them. He agrees and leaves Dauntless immediately.

"He's going to hop a train," Tobias says. "When he gets here we'll give him the DNA kits and our car. We need them as soon as possible."

"How will we get home?" I ask.

"If he hasn't returned by the time we're ready to leave, we'll jump the train. Are you okay with that?"

"I'm okay with that, but he isn't going to be," I say. "You know I'm not supposed to run on my ankle for another month, Four."

"I know and I wouldn't consider it again but this is extremely important," he says.

"I know," I say.

"Shall we get this interrogation underway?" Niles asks as Adam makes his way back to Jack with the two DNA kits he requested.

"As soon as Tris administers the tests, you may begin," Jack says. I follow Adam to the third floor to Erudite's holding room where Ben is sitting on the low bench at the back of the room. He looks like he's still under the effects of the truth serum. I hand both kits back to Adam and open the top one. I take the swab out of its package and walk toward Ben.

"I'm going to administer a DNA test," I say to him. I hold up the swab. "I'm going to run this swab around your cheeks. Please open your mouth." He sits looking defiant and doesn't move. Damn, he reminds me of Eric. Purple-Hair and Snake-Tattoo just happen to be guarding him, and I glance over at them.

"The lady said to open your mouth," Purple-Hair says in a very intimidating voice. Then a creepy smile crosses his lips. "Or would you like me to open it for you?" Ben slowly opens his mouth, and I run the swab quickly along both cheeks. I put it in the long glass tube, write his name on the sticker, seal the tube, and put it back in the box. I take another sticker and seal the box. Once the box is sealed, I write Ben Riley's information on it.

"Thank you for your cooperation," I say to Ben. Then I add quietly to Purple-Hair, "Thanks."

"You're welcome, Tris," he says in a much more conversational tone. I follow Adam back to the top floor of the Merciless Mart and go to the center of the room to get Asher Parrish's DNA. He's much more cooperative. Out of the corner of my eye, I see Tobias reach into his pocket and once again takes out his phone. He starts nodding to himself as he reads the message.

"Miles, Jack, Niles," Tobias says. They walk over to him.

"Dru has just been taken into custody," he says. "She was at the tracks talking to someone who fit Cameron's description. Unfortunately, he got away. My guards are bringing her, her husband, and younger son here."

"Very good," Jack says. "Too bad your soldiers couldn't have picked up Cameron also, then we could have totally wrapped this up today." When I finish with Asher's DNA test, I put both boxes on Tobias' empty chair. He has elected to stand during this interrogation. I think he's getting anxious.

"Asher Parrish," Niles says with a smile, "my name is Niles Murphy. I'm going to be conducting your interrogation today. We are using a stronger form of the truth serum since one of your members actually withheld information until he passed out yesterday. I'm sure being the leader of Erudite you understand why we never want that to happen again." He opens up the black box and takes out an alcohol swab. He hands it to Niles who immediately tears into it and wipes off the left side of his neck. It seems he's been through this before. Niles takes the truth serum out of its box and administers the drug into Asher's system. Just like everyone else, he slumps in his chair, and his eyes glaze over. Niles starts the interrogation with the same basic questions.

"What is your full name?" Niles asks.

"Asher Zekiel Parrish," he says looking slightly confused.

"What are the names of your parents?"

"Amelia and Zachariah Parrish."

"What faction were you born into, and which faction did you choose?" he asks.

"Dauntless born, Erudite chosen," Asher says.

"What are the full names of your children?" Niles asks since we now have DNA proof his son is helping him.

"Cameron Nathaniel Wright and Alec Zander Parrish," Asher says proudly. Wait, _what_?

"He just lied. How did he do that?" I say louder than I think. Disapproving eyes turn my way.

"What do you mean he's lying?" Miles asks. "It's _impossible_ to lie under truth serum."

"All I know is I have DNA confirmation that _I_ am related to Cameron," I say. "The only way that's possible is if Cameron is _Nathan's_ son, not Asher's." Asher looks even more confused.

"Why do you think Cameron is your son?" Niles asks Asher.

"Because it's the _truth_ ," he says. "I don't know what this little _girl_ is talking about. Cameron has been and always will be _my_ son." There's one thing I know for sure, he believes what he's saying right now. I wonder if Dru told him that and if she did, why she would do something so hurtful.

"How do you know he's your son? What's your proof?" Niles asks him, thinking the exact same thing I am. Confusion fills Asher's face.

"His mother told me, and that's all the proof I need." He's not lying, Dru is.

"Did you have your son, Alec, assault a member of Dauntless?" Anyone in this room who can see his face knows this question catches him off guard. He had no idea we linked Alec to the assaults.

"Yes," he says. We now know all the players … I think.

"Asher," Niles says turning his attention back to the prisoner, "is your allegiance with your chosen faction?"

"Yes," he says. "Of course."

"I need you to tell me what you know about the lists of suspected Divergents at Erudite, Candor, Amity, and Dauntless," Niles says. Asher looks shocked.

"How did you find out?" he spits out. "Each faction has two lists. The first is made up of Divergents and the second consists of classmates of the Divergents who are informing on them to us." Niles is quiet for a while.

"How do you know the people are Divergent?" Niles finally asks.

"We don't," he says. "We only suspect them of being Divergent."

"And you think it's okay to _kill_ someone you think _might_ be Divergent?" Jack asks interrupting what Niles was going to ask.

"Yes," he says. "It's better to be safe than sorry, don't you think?" Wow. What a way to think. This guy's crazy.

"How do you determine who goes on the lists?" Niles asks.

"First, we look at every 16-year-olds aptitude test results. They tell a lot about a person."

"How is it you get this information?" Niles asks, interrupting Asher.

"It's given to us freely by the factions since we provide the serum for the aptitude test," he says. "We're also given all information from each faction if it's serum or simulation related. For example, all fear landscape data from every member of Dauntless is automatically forwarded to us." I meet Tobias' eyes. Neither one of us knew that.

"Why would our factions be sending you this information?" Niles asks.

"Because the more information Erudite can gather, the better our research is. And the better our research the easier it is to improve the living conditions in our city. It's very simple." He is one arrogant son of a bitch.

"Please continue telling us how you establish these lists," Niles says.

"First we look at a person's aptitude test results. Then we look at their initiation data. This is when a person's divergence is clearest to us. If it's determined that a certain person is Divergent, their name is added to the list. When we add a name to the Divergent list we must then find a classmate to inform on them. Offering a few points to people to have them say where someone is or what they are doing for research purposes is beneficial. We also have Erudite plants in each faction who are very helpful and still loyal to Erudite."

"First of all, I need to ask this," Niles says visibly shaking. "The classmates think they are helping Erudite with research? They don't know they are contributing to peoples deaths. Did I understand you right?"

"That's right," Asher says smugly.

"Second, I need the names of the spies in each faction," Niles says. This is the first time that Asher looks like he doesn't want to answer a question and he flinches.

"The Amity spies are Erica Lawrence and Stuart Fillmore. Erudite's are Steve Anderson and Jenny Klein. The Candor spies are Alex Darby and Ben Shaw. Dauntless spies are Dante Reyes and Samuel Donovan," he reluctantly says. Dante and Samuel? That can't be right. They are two of Tobias' closest friends, two of _my_ friends. The pain that hits me is crippling. I manage to look up into Tobias eyes, and I see shock, fear, anger, and disbelief mingling together. He looks very lost right now. I reach out my hand, and he takes it firmly in his. We just sit here while all the other council members are making frantic calls to their factions to have these spies arrested.

"Are you two okay," Caleb whispers.

"They're friends," I say. "Dante and Samuel are our friends."

"I'm sorry," he says. "You better tell someone so they can be arrested." He's right. I look at Tobias again, and he takes his phone out of his pocket and texts Will two names, Dante Reyes and Samuel Donovan. Immediately, Will texts back a question mark. Tobias has to tell Will to arrest them and have them brought to Candor for interrogation.

"Why do you feel the need to eliminate Divergents?" Niles asks Asher. I can tell this question makes him angry.

"Divergents are highly dangerous to other people, and they don't deserve to live," he says.

"What made you come to this conclusion?" Niles asks.

"Dawson Andresen was Divergent, and he made it his mission in life to make everyone around him miserable," he says. I notice Miles sit down on an empty bench at the mention of Dawson's name.

"Who is Dawson Andresen?" Jack asks.

"I just told you," Asher answers spitefully.

"You will answer my questions when I ask them," he shouts. "Do you understand me?"

"Yes," says Asher, narrowing his eyes at Jack.

"Who is Dawson Andresen?"

"He's a boy I grew up with in Dauntless. He was Divergent, and he terrorized our faction. If you saw him coming, you wanted to turn around and go the other way. People who tried to stand up for themselves were often put in the infirmary for days by his hands. He developed a crush on my girlfriend and made our lives a living hell." He stops for a moment, takes a couple deep breaths, and wipes forming tears out of his eyes. "He raped her and tossed her into the chasm. She survived but she was never the same. He's the reason why I know all Divergents are dangerous and need to be eliminated." The silence in the room is palpable. Without saying her name, he just confirmed Dru was the rape victim I read about in Dawson's file. I don't blame Asher for his anger, not in the least, but he's taking it out on innocent people. I look at Tobias for a long moment before I get up and walk over to Niles.

"Ask him if he killed Dawson," I say. His eyes widen at my request like he's asking me if I'm sure. "I'm sure."

"Asher? Did you kill Dawson Andresen?" he asks. Asher's head snaps up, and the tears in his eyes start to flow down his cheek.

"Yes, I did," he says, emotion thick in his voice making it hard for him to answer. He obviously is thinking of Dru and not the monster he killed. "He's the first Divergent we killed."

"Who is we?" Niles asks. Asher starts squirming in his seat.

"Dru and Miles," he squeaks out before he can't control himself and he's useless to us. He cries silently for a few minutes. When he finally gains control of himself he continues. "We dropped him in the chasm just like he dropped her. If I could have found someone to do every single vile thing he did to her, his body would have been found not only battered and bloodied at the bottom of the chasm but violated as well. She didn't deserve that. All she ever did was tell him no, and it changed her life forever." Niles and Jack slowly turn toward Miles who is still sitting on the bench, hanging his head.

"Are you talking about Dru Wright and Miles Randolf?" Niles asks.

"Yes," Asher says. Jack walks over to Miles and stands before him.

"I'm not a part of this," he says. "I swear, Jack."

"We'll figure that out later when you go under truth serum," Jack says, clearly upset. "Take him to the holding room. Murder is a very serious crime, my friend. If you confirm your part in his death, we won't have any alternative than to execute you for your crime." Miles doesn't resist and doesn't say anything as he's lead out of the room.

"But now _you_ are changing innocent people's lives forever," I say to Asher, ignoring Niles and Jack who are stunned over the turn of events. "How do you live with yourself?"

"You act so innocent but I know your secret," he says. "I had Eric add your name to the list myself, Divergent." Gasps circle the room. I shake my head at him and maintain my composure, not letting anyone know how much what he's saying bothers me.

"I'm not Divergent," I say innocently.

"I know better," he argues. "You and your boyfriend both are Divergent." Hearing that, Jack and Niles interrupt our exchange.

"Do you have any other questions for the prisoner?" I look at Tobias and he shakes his head. I think we've learned everything now. What the lists mean, who's behind them, and why they were started in the first place. Two damaged people wanting revenge. It's sad.

"No, we don't," I say. "And Jack, I'm sorry for overstepping my bounds and asking him a couple questions. I apologize." He just looks at me then nods his head at Niles.

"One last question, Asher," Niles says. "What is your greatest regret?"

"I regret I decided to go out with my friends the night that animal raped Dru, and I wasn't there to protect her," he says. "Not only was her life changed forever that night but my life was never the same after that day either. I've always regretted that decision, and I will regret it for the rest of my life."

"Thank you for your honesty," all the Candor in the room say in unison.

"Why didn't you tell me you two are on Dauntless' list?" Jack says, extremely upset.

"We didn't think it was relevant plus until Jason mentioned Divergents, we didn't know what the lists represented in these people minds," Tobias says. "I tried to figure out what all the people on our list had in common but it's obvious now ... nothing."

"I don't think this has anything at all to do with Divergents, Jack. Asher and Dru have a very real grudge but they're taking it out on random people trying to make themselves feel better, and they recruited her son and his gullible friends to help them. They grabbed hold to the fact that Dawson said he was Divergent, which other's dispute by the way, and decided to make it their mission in life to destroy people who remind them in some small way of that monster. Yes, my name is on Dauntless' list, but I'm not Divergent," I say to Jack Kang. He looks skeptical so I add, "If you don't believe me, I'll go under truth serum. I don't have anything to hide."


	67. Chapter 67

I feel Tobias tense behind me. I can tell he doesn't like the idea of me going under truth serum at all but I'm confident that _because_ I'm Divergent the truth serum won't work on me. I don't know why, I just am. I've been aware under every simulation I've ever been placed in. There has to be a reason for that.

"Fine," Jack says. "Niles prepare another syringe. Tris is going to be placed under truth serum."

"Can I ask one thing of you, Jack," I say. "I would like the spectators to leave. I haven't done anything wrong, so I don't want the entire world knowing my secrets. If, after the interrogation is over, you determine I have in fact done something criminal, you can tell the entire city about me." He looks at me for a long moment before he says anything.

"You have a deal," he says. "You certainly have surprised me. You have guts." He walks away from me, and Tobias pulls me aside.

" _What_ do you think you're doing?" he asks, worry on his beautiful face. I reach my hand up and try to wipe the anxiety away with a caress.

"Don't worry about me, Four," I say. "I'll be fine. I don't have anything to hide." He looks at me incredulously. He _knows_ my secrets. He knows _exactly_ what it is I have to hide. "What if they ask me about you? Are you ready for everyone to know your name?" He wraps me up in his arms and holds me close.

"You do whatever you need to do to keep yourself alive," he says with his lips pressed against my ear. I close my eyes, and everyone in this room disappears. Only Tobias and I remain. I remember every smile, every laugh. Every kiss, every glance. Every caress, every aching desire. I remember the feel of his body moving with mine, the feel of him inside me. When his lips meet mine, I kiss him hungrily, exploring his mouth with my tongue. We only part when we hear someone clear their throat. Jack and Niles are standing beside us. A blush colors my cheeks. I didn't mean to get carried away in a room full of virtual strangers.

"We've cleared the gallery like you've asked, Tris, except for your mother. She's staying at your father's request," Jack says. "I think it's best the council representatives stay."

"I want Four to stay," I say, not showing an ounce of the apprehension I'm feeling.

"Okay," Jack says. "Let's get this interrogation underway." I let Tobias' hand go. He surprises me by going over to the wooden bench to sit by my mother. I see her take his hand before I follow Jack and Niles to the center of the room and sit down in the chair that was just vacated by Asher Parrish, the reason I have to do this. Niles hands me an alcohol swab, and I tear into it and wipe off the left side of my neck. He picks up the syringe from inside the black box and moves it toward my neck but I stop him.

"May I give myself the injection?" I ask. He furrows his eyebrows at me. "I'd feel better about it."

"Do you know how?" he asks.

"I'm _Dauntless_ ," I say, returning his disbelieving look. "I've given myself injections before and others also." He nods at me and hands me the syringe. I can feel Tobias' stare on the back of my head. I wish I could look in his eyes right now. If this doesn't go the way I think it will, that kiss might be our last.

I tilt my head exposing the left side of my neck, insert the needle into the vein, and release the serum, and toss the syringe into the trashcan Jack holds in front of me. I feel its effects immediately. My blood feels like molasses running through my veins. I feel sluggish and overly tired. I slump into the chair. Seconds later my brain switches off completely. I know I was just thinking about something important but I don't have a clue as to what it was. I guess it doesn't matter now. Nothing matters except for this chair that's holding me up and the man who's standing in front of me. Oh, where did he come from? I don't remember him standing there a second ago. Who is he?

"What is your full name?" he asks.

"Beatrice Grace Prior," I say. Wait, why did I just say that? I go by Tris now, especially in front of perfect strangers. I look at him closely. He looks familiar but I can't quite place him.

"Do you go by Tris also?"

"Yes, I do," I say. "I prefer it." Whoa! Why did I just say _that_? Where did that come from? I've never thought that before, and _why_ did I just tell this stranger that?

"Why did you change your name from Beatrice?" he asks. Jeez! Curious isn't he.

"Four told me I could have a new name when I jumped into Dauntless," I say. "So I thought, a new name for a new life. I became Tris in that moment." What's going on?

"How old are you, Tris?"

"16."

"What are your parents' names?" the strange man asks. Why does he want to know that? These questions are stupid.

"Andrew and Natalie Prior," I say grumpily. Confusion is rapidly spreading through my body, and I don't like feeling this way. I squirm in the chair a bit. Why is he asking me these questions, and why am I answering him so quickly?

"What are the full names of any siblings you have?"

"Caleb Henry Prior," I say before I even think about the answer. I don't think that's good.

"What faction were you born into, Tris?" he asks.

"Abnegation," I say with a sigh. I miss Abnegation. I wonder why this stranger is furrowing his eyebrows at me. He looks funny.

"What faction did you choose?" he asks.

"Dauntless," I say confidently. I study his face again and finally remember who he is, Niles. Why do I know Niles?

"What made you leave Abnegation, Tris?" Niles asks. I sit there. Why did I leave Abnegation? There's no simple one or two word answer to that question. Pain creeps up my spine and out towards my limbs. It feels like my nerve endings are on fire. I don't understand what's going on.

"I never thought I was good enough for Abnegation," I say but then add, "and I longed for the freedom that Abnegation didn't allow." Suddenly the fire is extinguished.

"Why did you think you weren't good enough?" he asks.

"I'm selfish. You can't be selfish and be a good member of Abnegation," I say. "I didn't want to have to force myself to be selfless every day. It's hard work lying about who you are all the time." This actually takes me by surprise. I can't believe I'm saying this out loud to this strange man who's standing before me. Niles ... _something_. Why do I know Niles? I close my eyes for a moment trying to concentrate. It's _so_ hard. Suddenly I remember Niles interrogating someone. It isn't a clear memory. It's like a faraway dream. Then something else comes to me. He asks questions under truth serum. Am _I_ under truth serum?

"Tris, look at me," he says. I slowly open my eyes. I didn't realize they were still closed. I look up into his eyes. They seem friendly and cold all at the same time. I wonder how he does that. I have to remember he's expecting the truth but he may not deserve it. God, I hope I haven't told any of our secrets yet. I have to concentrate. "Is your name on Dauntless' suspected Divergent list?"

"Yes," I say. They all knew the answer to that question, there's no harm in answering it honestly.

"How did you feel when you discovered your name on the list?" Niles asks. He wants me to talk about my feelings?

"I didn't feel anything at first," I say.

"Why?"

"Because we didn't know what the list meant," I say.

"When did that change?" he asks.

"When Daniel Parks was assaulted," I say. "When I figured out where I'd heard his name before I got scared but not for myself. I was scared someone would hurt Four." It's okay to say all this. They know he's on the list also.

"Tris, are you Divergent?" he asks. This is the question I've been waiting for. I want to scream yes at the top of my lungs but I can't do that. It could hurt Tobias, maybe even kill him, and I love Tobias too much to put him in danger. I take a deep breath.

"No," I say shaking my head. I just did it. I fought the truth serum and I won. It doesn't feel like I've won though. Every nerve ending in my body is on fire. I may have just fooled everyone by telling a lie but my body _knows_ it was a lie. I remind myself to breathe through the pain. Hopefully it will go away if I can tell the truth soon.

"Who is Four to you?" Niles asks. I smile brightly at the mention of Tobias but this isn't a simple one word answer either. Who is he? He's my soul mate, my lover, my best friend, my boyfriend. I could go on. I shouldn't say some of those things in front of my parents though.

"He's my fiancé," I spit out. The tingling in my body starts to fade but my heart starts to race. Why is my heart hammering like this? Oh, God! I just told my Mom, Dad, and Caleb that Tobias and I are getting married. I hang my head a little. I hear something behind me but it doesn't really register.

"Order," Jack says.

"Why are you frowning at the thought of marrying Four?" Niles asks. I didn't realize I _was_ frowning.

"It was a secret," I say. "We didn't want to let my family know yet, and I just told them, _all_ of them." I think he's smiling at me but I can't be sure. My eyes are out of focus right now.

"How long have you been engaged?" Niles asks. Seriously, can't we get away from this line of questioning?

"Since yesterday," I say. Please, please, please let him move on from this subject. If he asks anything else about last night, I might end up telling my Mom, Dad, and Caleb that Tobias and I had the most amazing, earth-shattering sex last night, and they _really_ don't need to know that. I wouldn't be able to look at any of them in the eye ever again.

"Tris, look at me" he asks. Crap, my eyes are closed again. "How long have you known Four?" Seriously, why all the hard questions? How long have I known him?

"I met Four the day I joined Dauntless," I say. That isn't a lie. I didn't really _know_ Tobias when we both were in Abnegation.

"How long have you been romantically linked?" he asks. Romantically linked? A giggle escapes my lips. That seems like such an odd turn of phrase.

"We started dating two days before initiation was over," I say, electing to tell the whole truth this time. The painful sensation is now gone from my body. It's much easier to tell the truth than it is to lie.

"I'm sure you two have shared many secrets with each other? Am I right?" he asks.

"Yes," I immediately say without thinking. Slow down, Tris. You have to _think_ before you answer the questions or you could get him killed.

"Does he know you're Divergent?" Niles asks. This confuses me for a moment, and I almost blurt out the truth but I stop myself.

"I'm _not_ Divergent," I say. "I already _told_ you that." Pain surges through my body once again.

"Is Four Divergent," Niles asks. _Take a deep breath, Tris_ , I say to myself.

"No, he isn't," I say.

"What are some of the secrets he has shared with you?" he asks. I close my eyes and squirm in my chair.

"It won't hurt so much if you would answer immediately," Jack says. "Remember we're all friends here. Unless you or Four have done something wrong, we won't disclose what you say."

"Promise?" crosses my lips before I can think about it.

"Yes, Tris," he says. I choose to believe him. I hope I'm not choosing wrong.

"He told me his real name and what faction he's from. He told me he left his faction because his father hurt him. He told me his mother isn't really dead, and he took me to meet her. He told me he has a sister he's never known and now he has a little brother also." Whew! I just told them a lot of secrets without exposing who he actually is.

"What's Four's real name?" Niles asks. I hear a gasp then realize it came from my lips. _Why_ are they still asking questions about Tobias?

"Please, Jack," I beg. Pain is shooting through my entire body making it very hard to concentrate. "I've answered all your questions. I'm _not_ Divergent. Four's _not_ Divergent. Why do you need to know what his real name is?" There is silence in the hall for a moment as I sit here burning.

"You're right, Tris," Jack says. "We don't need to pry into your personal lives anymore." They must believe me to end this torture.

"One final question, Tris," Niles says. "What is your greatest regret?" I think about this for a long time while the fire rages out of control inside my body. A face flashes in front of my eyelids.

"Al. Al is my biggest regret. I killed him," I blurt out. I hear Tobias but I can't clearly make out what it is he's saying so I decide to go on. "He sided with Peter, and he let him touch me. If it weren't for Four, I would have been killed or raped. Al wanted me to forgive him but I couldn't do it. I told him I would kill him if he ever came near me again, and I called him a coward. He killed himself that day, jumped right into the chasm. So you see, not forgiving Al is my biggest regret. He might still be dead today even if I forgave him but I won't ever know that for sure."

"Thank you for your honesty," Niles says. All the Candor who are still in the room join in with Niles. I slump in the chair and soon find Tobias squatting down in front of me. I try to smile at him and run my fingertips down his cheek but my body isn't working at the moment.

"How long will the serum last," Tobias asks someone. He sounds very angry. I can't see who he's talking to because they're standing behind me.

"I sent Niles to get the counter agent," Jack says. "Once it's administered, she'll be fine. She may be a little lightheaded and tired but otherwise fine. You have a real brave one here, Four. It takes a lot to withstand immediately answering questions under the truth serum. All Candor members have to try doing it. It feels like you're standing in the middle of a fire. It's quite excruciating." Tobias moves his now grave-looking eyes back to mine. He now knows how I've been feeling over the past ... how long have I been here? Oh, I can't remember.

"You should have told him my name, Tris," he says, his voice thick with emotion.

"I didn't want to give anyone your secrets," I say to him. I find it very hard to keep my eyes open right now. I hope no one asks me any questions. I would blurt out the truth immediately. All of a sudden I remember telling everyone in the room he's my fiancé. "I'm _so_ sorry."

"About what, love?" he asks, totally confused.

"Telling them you're my fiancé," I say, burying my head in his shoulder. "That just slipped out."

"It's okay," he says in my ear. "You did _so_ well."

I'm almost asleep when I feel a pinch on the side of my neck. I flinch away from the pain. I can't stand anymore pain right now. Immediately my head starts to clear, and I sit up and look around. Tobias is kneeling in front of me and standing behind him are my parents and brother. They all have several emotions swirling on their faces. Tobias helps me to my feet. I'm a bit wobbly, and he wraps his arms around me to steady me.

"I'm _so_ sorry, Mom, Dad, Caleb" I say looking at each one of them as I say their name. "This isn't how we wanted to tell you about getting married. I swear."

"We'll talk about it later," Tobias says. "Jack, is there someplace Tris can clean herself up a little?" I could use a bathroom even if it's just to splash some cold water on my face.

"Go through those double doors and take a left. The third door on the right is Miles private office. The door in the rear of the room leads to a private washroom. Take your time. Do you know how to get back to the elevator?" Tobias nods. "Go down to the first floor and ask for an escort to the cafeteria. We're breaking for an hour lunch."

"We're going to lunch now," Jack shouts to the rest of the room. "You can follow me to the cafeteria."

I see Mom, Dad, and Caleb turn to follow Jack as I lean against Tobias and he leads me to the office Jack just told him how to get to. We enter the unlocked room and go into the bathroom. I can't help but laugh when I see the sea of black and white in front of me. I don't know why I expected anything different. This time the floor is a black-and-white marble checkerboard pattern. The large shower that stands in the corner is lined with white marble subway tiles. Between two tall shelving units on the right is an eight feet piece of black marble with two sinks spaced approximately four feet apart. Above each sink is a black marble framed mirror. On the left side of the room, at an odd angle, sits a beautiful black crushed velvet old fashioned fainting couch. This is the most exquisite and luxurious bathroom I've ever seen in my entire life.

"Wow," I say as I continue taking in my surroundings. "I wonder how many bathrooms look like this at Candor."

"I don't know," he says. "Probably all of them." I see him open one of the doors on the shelving unit and take out a white washcloth. He wets it with cold water and hands it to me. I wash the sweat off my face. I look at him carefully and note he seems unusually tense.

"Are you alright, Tobias?" I ask him. His serious eyes meet mine.

"I could have lost you today," he says. "What were you thinking?" I shrug my shoulders and toss the washcloth into the closest sink.

"I would never let that happen," I say moving toward him. I wrap my arms around his waist and hold myself close to him. He automatically wraps his protective arms around me. "It wasn't easy but I got through it. I don't think we should talk about it now though." I let him go and lock the bathroom door.

"What are you doing?" he cautiously asks, his careful eyes watching me. I don't say anything, I just walk straight to him and wrap my arms around his neck and pull his mouth to mine. He returns my hungry kiss passionately. I move my hands to the button of his jeans, and he grabs them, stopping me.

"What do you think you're doing?" he throatily asks.

"I want you, Tobias," I say with intense yearning in my voice. "You just said you could have lost me today. I felt _exactly_ the same way. I need you to show me everything's going to be alright. I need to feel you inside me, Tobias. _Please_."

"We can't do that. Not here, Tris," he says, shaking his head, still holding my hands. "No."

"No one can see us. I know you want me," I say breaking free of his grip, reaching out to touch his mounting desire. "I can feel you." He groans at my touch, growing even harder. He looks at me, shaking his head but I see the resolve in his darkening eyes waver. " _Please_ , Tobias. I _need_ you."

He wraps his hands around my waist as I wrap my arms around his neck, and he picks me up and carries me two feet and sits me down on the cold black marble countertop. I know this isn't going to be a long, slow, tender lovemaking session. We're both too full of intense longing in this moment. I've never felt anything this powerful and raw before. I swear I could cry. His mouth lands on my trembling lips with renewed passion. He thrusts his tongue into my willing mouth and makes love to it. I feel the spark of desire grow to a full-fledged fire when his hand slips under my shirt and inside my bra. He cups my aching breast and kneads it gently, eliciting a moan from my throat. I feel him roll my hardened bud between his thumb and finger causing a sweet combination of pain and pleasure to travel through me. God, I want him so much.

I move my hands from his hair to the button of his jeans and easily slide it out of its home. I pull the zipper down slowly, raking my fingernails over his cotton-covered, throbbing manhood causing his breath to stop then come in short, shallow gasps against my open mouth. We finally pull away from each other, and I jump down off of the sink. He unbuttons my pants, and together we slide them and my underwear down and off. He lifts me back up and sits me on the edge of the marble slab but I don't register the cold on my naked bottom. His mouth lands on mine in another powerful kiss as I put my hands inside his pants and cup his rock hard backside, squeezing gently. I move his jeans and underwear down in one swift motion, freeing his hardened length.

I feel him position himself at my entrance, and he fills me completely in one driving thrust. He swallows my scream of pleasure with his open mouth, his tongue darting in and out the entire time mimicking his deep thrusts. We break apart, and I take in an agonized gasp. I wrap my arms around his neck and my legs tightly around his waist as he drives into me fast and furiously. I meet every thrust of his with one of my own. I know I won't last long since the raging fire that once was a tiny spark is now moving through my body consuming everything in its wake. Our breath is coming in shallow, unsteady pants but we don't slow the tempo. Actually, unbelievably, we quicken the pace. I keep my eyes on his as he continues his relentless pounding. Just as I feel him tense and explode into me, I convulse around him in a blinding, fiery explosion. His mouth lands on mine again to catch his name as it's shouted from my lips. We cling to each other letting our breathing return to normal. A knock on the door pulls us out of our drunken, desire-induced state.

"Beatrice are you in there?" my dad says.


	68. Chapter 68

Tobias and I freeze in each other's arms at the sound of my dad's voice on the other side of the bathroom door. Fear floods my body making it impossible for me to do anything in this moment except listen to my racing heartbeat in my ears. What if I didn't get the door completely locked, and he's able to come in here and see us the way we are, partially nude and still joined together. I push Tobias away from me, and he pulls his boxer briefs and jeans up and fastens them. He then straightens his clothing the best he can.

"Yeah, Dad," I say, jumping down off the counter. "Just a minute." I pick up my underwear and pants and quickly put them back on while my dad talks to me through the door.

"Jack wanted me to tell you Dr. Zander Parrish is here to pick up the DNA tests," he says. "Beatrice, what's taking you so long in there?" I turn the water on and splash my face trying to get it to return to a normal shade instead of its now bright red while Tobias makes sure we haven't left any evidence of our dalliance behind. If my dad sees me blushing this deeply he's sure to ask about it, and what if the truth serum isn't out of my system all the way. It's bad enough I told them about our engagement, I don't want to tell him that I just had incredible sex with my fiancé in a bathroom in Candor. Oh, my God. I can't believe he let me talk him into that. I make sure I'm presentable, and I lean into Tobias. I still feel a bit wobbly on my feet. Whether it's from the lasting effects of the truth serum or the amazing sex we just had, I don't know. I take a deep breath, plaster a smile on my face, unlock the door, open it then look up into my dad's suspicious eyes.

"Four?" he says. He obviously wasn't expecting us both to be in a bathroom at the same time. "Beatrice, what were you _both_ doing in the bathroom?" Before I can come up with a plausible excuse, Tobias saves me like he always does.

"I'm sorry, Andrew. She wasn't feeling very well after the truth serum and antidote," he says. "I took her to the bathroom so she could clean herself up a little but she's still unsteady on her feet and not feeling well. I wish we didn't have any more business this afternoon so she could go home and lie down. To be honest, I'm worried about her." He says every single word with such conviction that no one could doubt his sincerity. My dad eyes me closely, nonetheless, making me extremely nervous. Does he suspect something? If he did, I imagine he would be screaming at Tobias right now.

"You look flushed, honey," he says. "Are you sure you're alright?"

"I'm fine, Dad," I say. "I promise. Where's Dr. Parrish at?"

"He's downstairs in the lobby waiting on you," he says. God that was a close one.

Tobias takes my hand in his, and we head out of the vacant office, down the hallway, and into the interrogation room. We stop and my dad pick up the two sealed DNA kits to give to Dr. Parrish. I'm glad they're still here and still sealed. This is very important evidence, and I can't believe we all forgot about them when I went under the truth serum.

Tobias wasn't lying when he told Jack he knew his way back to the elevators. We walk hand-in-hand through the nondescript hallways that all look the same to me but he doesn't once get us lost. Even my dad seems impressed. When we reach the elevator, Tobias hits the button by the "L," which I assume represents lobby. A wave of nausea sweeps over me, and I double over. Maybe Tobias' explanation to my dad wasn't a boldfaced lie after all.

"Tris, are you okay?" Tobias says, worry in his voice, at the same time my dad says, "Beatrice? What's wrong?"

"I think I'm just hungry," I say taking slow, deep breaths in and out through my mouth trying to make sure I don't get sick. "We ate breakfast really early this morning, and I'm starving." I bury my face in Tobias' side, and he wraps his arm around me. It doesn't take us long to reach the lobby.

"Dr. Parrish," Tobias says. "Thanks for coming on such short notice. Here are the DNA tests." My dad hands them to the doctor, and he places them in his bag.

"Are you alright?" Dr. Parrish asks taking in my appearance.

"She was put under truth serum this morning," Dad says. "Now she isn't feeling well."

"Please sit down, Tris," Dr. Parrish says.

"It's fine," I say. "Four and I ate shortly after you left this morning, and I haven't had anything since them. I'm just hungry."

"Tris," he says in an authoritative voice. "Sit." I do as the good doctor says. My dad and Tobias hover behind me making me even more nervous.

"Dad, Four. Please go to the cafeteria and get yourselves something to eat," I tell them. "If Dr. Parrish is going to examine me in the lobby of Candor, I'd rather not have a lot of people hanging around watching."

"I'm not going anywhere," Tobias says sounding like Four.

"Please," I say. "For me?" He looks at me for a long while.

"I just can't tell you no," he says. "I love you."

"I love you, too," I say to him. "Dad, please take him to the cafeteria with you, and make sure he gets something to eat. I'll be there as soon as I can." They turn and walk over to the desk and soon a young blonde-haired girl takes them down another black and white hallway. I know what Candor reminds me of, some of the old movies Tobias has. There isn't any color.

"Do you know anything about the truth serum?" I ask Dr. Parrish while he is shining a light in my eyes. "Could I be having a reaction to it? Jack and Niles said they used a stronger version than they normally do since Jason withheld from answering for so long that he passed out. They wanted to make sure it didn't happen again."

"Why were you under truth serum, Tris?" he asks while feeling along on my neck. "Usually only criminals or initiates have to go under truth serum." I covertly look around the room for people watching us or cameras aimed our direction. There doesn't appear to be any but I elect to be careful anyway.

"I was just dispelling a myth," I say while he is taking my pulse. "Your brother told them my name was on the list." His eyes widen in understanding. He doesn't ask any more questions regarding Divergents.

"What did you learn from Asher?" he asks taking a stethoscope out of his bag. He listens to my lungs before I continue.

"Quite a lot actually," I say. "Hey did you by chance check _our_ DNAs to see if somehow they matched?"

"No I didn't but I know for a fact they don't. My DNA only matched the one unknown sample we have left for the person who attacked Hana and no one else's. Your DNA matched the person who killed Amar, George, and Ivy and attacked Daniel and Hana. Why are you asking that?"

"Asher says that Cameron is his son," I say. "Dru told him that and more than likely Cameron also. I probably shouldn't tell you anything more but once we have the full picture, I'll come to the infirmary and tell you everything you need to know."

"Thank you, Tris," he says putting away his stethoscope. "I believe you're dehydrated. Go get something to drink and some food." He leans in and adds quietly, "I would also abstain from sexual activity right after you go under a serum from now on." All I can do is sit here and stare openmouthed at him while a blush once again colors my face.

"What?" I force myself to ask.

"I've come to know Dauntless' two fearless leaders extremely well," he says with a warm smile spreading across his lips. "You two seem to have a ... special appetite ... when things get ... daunting." I am _so_ embarrassed right now.

"But how did you know?" I whisper. "Can you tell?"

"It was just a guess," he says. I bury my head in my hands. "Don't be embarrassed, Tris. You two have a powerful connection I've witnessed regularly since the night you were brought into the infirmary after your fall, and a lot of people with that kind of connection look for sexual gratification after being in tense situations. It's only natural. Sex is life affirming. Just watch yourself, okay?" I nod my head at him. He actually makes sense to me.

"Did anyone tell you Dru, Nathan, and Callen Wright are on their way here, and we'd like you to stay to gather their DNA?" I ask Dr. Parrish once I can form a full sentence.

"Yes," he says. "I believe he said his name was Jack Kang."

"In that case," I say, "would you like to accompany me to the cafeteria and get some lunch?"

"That would be nice, Tris," he says. We walk over to the desk, and the woman calls on the same young blond haired girl to take us to the cafeteria. It isn't a long walk, which I'm thankful for. I'm still a little lightheaded and have to ask Dr. Parrish if he can help me. He obliges by offering me his arm. I take it and thank him profusely. We walk into the black and white cafeteria and a sea of Candor turn our way. My eyes search for Tobias and find him sitting at a table with my parents and Caleb. When his eyes meet mine, he gets up immediately and comes to help me go through the serving line. He thanks Dr. Parrish and immediately puts his arm around me, steadying me.

"Are you okay?" he asks.

"Dr. Parrish thinks I'm dehydrated," I say. I look around to make sure no one is listening to us. I shyly look up into his eyes. "Dr. Parrish figured it out." He looks at me for a moment not knowing what I'm getting at when his eyes widen and I just nod at him. Color rises in his cheeks.

"How?" he says.

"He guessed," I say. "He said something like we are passionate people who gravitate toward one another when a stressful situation hits. If you think about it, he's right."

"For the record, I didn't think it was the greatest idea you've ever had but when you look at me like you did and then beg ... you intoxicate me," he says with intensity in his eyes. "I just can't tell you no. I don't know how."

"That might not be the best thing in the world, Four," I say.

"I love you," he says matter-of-factly. "If you want something, I'm going to give it to you even if it's totally irrational and quite possibly stupid." I can't stop myself from laughing at him.

"I love you," I quietly say.

He gets me a plate with fried chicken, mashed potatoes and gravy, green beans, and chunky cooked apples. Candor has food similar to Dauntless but they don't have cake. He firmly carries the plate in one hand while his other is making sure I don't fall over. We sit down across from my parents, and I dig in while he pours me a glass of water from the communal pitchers on the table. Once I get food and water in my system, I start to feel much better. I introduce Dr. Parrish to my parents and Caleb. He and my mom reminisce about growing up in Dauntless with Nathan.

"You look better, Beatrice," my dad says after a while.

"I feel so much better," I say. "Dr. Parrish said I was dehydrated." I look around and see curious eyes penetrating me. I push my empty plate away and pour myself another glass of water.

"I owe you all an apology," I say to my parents and Caleb.

" _We_ owe you an apology," Tobias adds taking my hand in his.

"Should I leave," Dr. Parrish asks.

"It isn't necessary," I say to him. "I gave away a secret while I was under the truth serum. It isn't anything you can't hear. Please stay."

"Andrew, Natalie, Caleb," Tobias says looking at each one of them in turn. "I asked Tris to marry me last night, and she made me the happiest man in the world by saying yes." He looks me in the eyes and raises our joined hands and kisses my ring. "We wanted to come to each of you and tell you our good news. You shouldn't have heard it the way you did."

"It wasn't our intention to keep it a secret," I say. "We just didn't think a leaders' meeting in Candor was the appropriate setting."

"I'm very happy for the both of you," my mom says with tears shining in her eyes. "I could tell how much you meant to the other on visitation day." That surprises me. We weren't together on visitation day, not even close.

"We weren't even dating then," I say.

"And I was horribly rude to you," Tobias says. "I don't know how you have forgiven me yet."

"Four, you were protecting your identity but it wasn't really necessary," she says. "The moment I looked into your eyes, I knew who you were. I'm sorry I made you think I would give away your secret." I look into Dr. Parrish's eyes expecting to see confusion but there are no emotions on his face.

"I'm afraid I already know Four's secret," he says. "I've seen his full name on some of his medical records. Don't worry. His secret's safe with me." They are, just like his secrets are safe with us. I can't help but smile at him.

"The way you two looked at each other," Mom says, "told me everything I needed to know. You were falling in love with each other then in case you didn't know it." Tobias and I look into each other's eyes. Is she right?

"When are you getting married," my dad says, dragging my attention away from Tobias, his voice stern.

"We decided on April 6," Tobias says smiling at our inside joke as I pour myself another glass of water. The truth serum must have made me extremely thirsty.

"Do you have something else to say, Dad?" I ask, examining his face, bracing myself for his wrath.

"I have a lot to say, Beatrice," he says but my mom interrupts him.

"Andrew, don't you remember when we were Beatrice's age?" she asks. "We'd been dating for two years."

"Two years!" Caleb and I say at the same time, shocked. That means they started dating at _14_. I wonder what they were like outside Abnegation. This new information is mind blowing.

"Yes," she says. "Two years. If we would have joined Amity, Candor, Erudite, or Dauntless, we would have been married right away. Even though we both knew exactly what we wanted, Abnegation rules made us wait until we were both past 18½ years of age. That was a very long two years ... for both of us." My mom is looking at my dad like I look at Tobias. She must really love him.

"It's not the same, Natalie. She's too young," my Dad says stubbornly. "She hasn't experienced everything life has to offer outside of falling in love with the first boy who turned her head."

"Four isn't the first boy who I thought I would marry," I say bashfully. All eyes at our table turn my way, looking astonished. I look up at Tobias, and his expression is beyond astonished, he looks devastated. We promised each other no more secrets. I have to explain to him that I'm not keeping a colossal secret and carrying a torch for someone else. "I am _so_ sorry I never told you this but, honestly, until _right now_ , it never even crossed my mind.

"My last year in Abnegation I spent exchanging glances with Robert Black. I had my life planned out as well as several other people's lives. I would marry Robert and Caleb would marry Susan, Robert's sister, and our lives in Abnegation would mirror that of my parents. There was so much I didn't know at that time, especially about myself. I'm sorry, Four."

"Robert Black? Is that the kid you spoke to when we were touring the fence?" he asks. I'd forgotten all about that. I'm surprised he remembers.

"Yeah," I say. "It was."

"He liked you," he says, no emotion in his voice. "I could tell by the way he spoke to you and held you in his arms. I imagine if you two had ended up in the same faction, your life would have turned out _exactly_ the way you planned."

"How do you know what happened between Robert and me at the fence?" I ask sensing his increasing irritation at my announcement. "You had your back to us talking to some _girl_?" Oh great. Now my irritation is growing. I have to calm myself down.

"How do you know that?" he asks. I sigh.

"I never loved Robert. I never really had any affection for him at all," I say instead of answering his question. "I had two fears before I took my aptitude test. The first was that it would tell me I needed to leave Abnegation and my family behind. The second was that it would tell me I needed to stay in Abnegation where I didn't think I belonged. I've always thought I didn't have my mind made up about which faction to choose until my blood hit the hot coals but ... that's a lie. A lie I've been telling myself and others to get over the guilty feelings of leaving Mom and Dad behind in Abnegation, especially after Caleb had just left for Erudite. I always knew I was going to join Dauntless. It was born in me.

"So you see, Robert was part of a fantasy life for a person who didn't even exist: Perfect, selfless, and frightened Beatrice who was going to do what everyone else wanted her to do even if that meant marrying someone she didn't love just so she could live a selfless life like her parents did. A life she didn't want. That wasn't me but at the time I didn't know that.

"It took leaving all I knew behind to realize who I am and what I want. I'm flawed, selfish, and brave, and I love you more than I ever thought was possible to love another person. You are my everything. I didn't even know what love was until I found you, Tobias." I whisper his name just as a single tear escapes and slowly moves down my cheek. He takes me in his arms. I don't even care that we've captured the attention of all the neighboring tables.

"I'm sorry I got angry," he whispers in my ear. "I didn't like hearing you thought about marrying someone other than me. It hurt." I pull back from him and look into his eyes.

"You were jealous the day we were at the fence, and Robert came to talk to me," I say. It's a statement, not a question. "That's why you told me I was making unwise decisions."

"Even then, I didn't like seeing you with someone else not when in my heart I knew we belonged together."

"I'm sorry," my Dad says, interrupting us. "It seems I keep underestimating the two of you. You seem so much older than 16, Beatrice. By the way, you may be flawed, selfish, and brave but you are also selfless and perfect in my eyes."

"Mine, too," Tobias says under his breath.

"You two have a connection I haven't seen before, not even in your mother and me. I told you the last time I saw you that you have my blessing and I meant it. I'm just sorry I didn't react better upon first hearing my baby's getting married." My eyes narrow at this.

"What do you mean you didn't react well when you heard the news?" I say. I was under truth serum and everyone but Niles was behind me. I remember something happening but I have no idea what it is. Mom, Dad, Caleb, and Tobias have sheepish looks on their faces, and Dr. Parrish looks slightly embarrassed to be caught up in the middle of family drama.

"I hit Four in the jaw," my dad says. What? My perfect Abnegation father _hit_ Tobias? Violence is considered selfish in Abnegation. Why would he do that?

"Why?" I demand.

"I ... don't ... know," he slowly says.

"That isn't an answer, Dad," I say.

"It's okay," Tobias says.

"No ... no, it's _not_ okay," I say. God! My dad and I both have hit Tobias today. "I want you to apologize to Four ... right now."

"He already has," Tobias says. "That's why I didn't say anything. It's water under the bridge." I just stare at them both.

"I reacted the way I think any father would react when learning his baby is getting married," he says.

"I beg to differ," I say. "Not every father assaults his future son-in-law upon hearing his daughter's getting married." Tobias better never physically attack our daughter's fiancé. That thought makes me think of something else.

"Should we tell them the rest of our news?" I whisper to Tobias. I don't want them finding out they're going to be grandparents in a few short months from anyone but us.

"Drusilla Wright was just brought in," Jack says over my shoulder, interrupting my question. "Her interrogation will begin in 15 minutes."


	69. Chapter 69

It seems like a short trip to the interrogation room from the cafeteria even though they're on opposite ends of the building. When we walk into the interrogation room, I see it's been opened to the public again, and this time there are more in attendance. Rumors must be spreading about what we've learned so far today and people are curious. There are even a few Dauntless members sitting in the crowd now. The double entrance doors once again slam open, echoing throughout the chamber as Dru, wearing a pair of handcuffs and a scowl, is brought in flanked by Purple-Hair and Snake-Tattoo. They're followed closely by Nathan and Callen. My mom pales drastically when she sees them. This is the first time she's laid eyes on her brother since her Choosing Ceremony. I look toward Nathan and see he has a cold, confused look on his face.

"Why don't you take a seat, Mom," I say. "I promise we'll talk more about the engagement later. I need to go talk to Nathan and Callen now." She gives me a quick hug then goes to sit on the wooden bench where she's sat all morning long. I take a deep breath and walk over to Nathan and Callen followed by Tobias, Caleb, Dad, and Dr. Parrish. Callen and Caleb stare at each other in awe. It's like seeing identical twins in front of me, except one has light green eyes and the other has dark brown.

"Why was my wife arrested, Tris? Zander? Four?" Nathan asks. "No one's telling me anything."

"She's been conspiring with Asher Parrish to kill suspected Divergents," I say quietly. "So has Cameron." At the mention of his son, his knees buckle, and he starts to fall. Tobias and Caleb each grab an arm to stop his descent. They drag him back to the tiered benches and sit him down not far from my mom. He glances at her but doesn't say anything. Callen sits on the far side of his father looking dazed. I see him stealing glances at Caleb once in a while.

"Nathan," I say. I don't know how to ask this question. It's going to hurt him. "Is there a reason why Dru would tell Cameron he's Asher's son and not yours?"

"What?" Nathan says, obviously blindsided by my question. "Why do you think that?"

"Asher thinks he's Cameron's father. He couldn't have said it under truth serum if he didn't think it was true," I say. "It's _not_ true. I have DNA confirmation he and I are directly related. Dr. Parrish is going to take your DNA and Callen's to confirm our results."

"I don't want Callen involved in this," he says.

"I'm afraid he already is involved, Nathan," Dr. Parrish says to his old friend. "I'm sorry I have to do this." He quickly collects a sample from Nathan and Callen.

"I don't get it," he says. "Why is this happening?"

"Asher and two other prisoners have implicated Dru in an unusual plot. We already knew about Cameron's involvement."

"Why didn't you come and talk to me, Tris?" Nathan says to me, almost pleading.

"We're supposed to have supper Saturday night," I say. "Four and I were going to talk to you about it then. Although, at the time we invited you, we had no idea of Dru's involvement. We only found out about it within the past 24 hours. I'm so sorry."

"Andrew," my mom says from just over my left shoulder. I didn't even know she'd gotten up. "This is my brother, Nathan Wright. Nathan, my husband, Andrew Prior." She makes the polite introductions. My dad and uncle shake hands politely.

"It's nice to finally meet you," Nathan says. He gets to his feet and approaches my mother. "God, I've missed you, Natty." He pulls her into his arms, and she clings to him, a happy smile on her face.

"I've missed you too, Nate," she says.

"Callen," I say. "This is my brother Caleb. I told you that you two looked alike." He shakes my brother's hand.

"It's nice to meet you," he shyly says. This is the first time I've heard Callen speak. Caleb returns the sentiment. Jack and Niles approach us.

"We would like to get the interrogation underway if you would take your seats," Jack says, more polite than I thought possible with what we've learned so far today. "Dr. Parrish, if you could please take a sample from Dru, I would appreciate it." My dad sits with Mom, Nathan, and Callen and Tobias, Caleb, and I return to our seats with the other council members. I see Dr. Parrish collect a sample from Dru. The look on her face is hard to read. It wavers between annoyance, anger, and remorse.

After Dr. Parrish collects Dru's sample he's taken to where his old friend Miles Randolf is being held for his DNA sample, and then he'll go back to Dauntless to run all the tests. I doubt Miles DNA will tell us anything but it's useful to have nonetheless. Tobias tells him to return immediately with the results, and if they aren't done within a couple hours, texting the test results will have to do.

Jack and Niles stay close to Dru while they ready her for her interrogation. Niles tells her the same thing he told Jason, Ben, and Asher today after he informs her she's been implicated in several crimes against humanity. I wonder if he said similar things to me and I just don't remember them. Niles offers Dru an alcohol swab, which she uses and steadies herself for the injection. I remember the feeling of the serum traveling through my veins, making me sluggish, and I remember slumping in my chair just like Dru is doing now. I also remember my brain shutting off and having a hard time concentrating. I wonder if my eyes glazed over like that too. I can tell Niles is about ready to start the interrogation after Jack nods his way.

"What is your full name?"

"Drusilla May Wright," she says. Just like everyone else today, confusion dominates her face.

"What are the names of your parents?" Niles asks.

"William and Sara Smith," she says.

"What is your born faction, and what faction did you choose?" he asks.

"Dauntless born and Dauntless chosen," Dru says.

"Is your loyalty with your chosen faction?"

"Yes." She says this with pride in her voice but how much pride can she really have if she's targeted some of its members, not that it's okay to target any of the other factions.

"What is the full name of your husband and children?" Niles asks. Dru actually looks confused by this question. I wonder why.

"Nathaniel James Wright, Asher Zekiel Parrish, Cameron Nathaniel Wright, and Callen Asher Wright," she says. Huh?

"Who are you married to, Dru? You just gave us two names," he repeats.

"Nathan Wright and Asher Parrish," she says quietly. Is she telling us she's married to _both_ men? That's against the law, although it seems like she doesn't have any respect for the law.

"How are you married to two men?" Niles asks, dumbfounded.

"I married Nathan a week after my initiation was over," she says. "I married Asher before he left Dauntless for Erudite." That shouldn't be possible, she was a dependent then. Dependents can't marry.

"Is your marriage to Asher a legal marriage," Niles asks.

"No," she immediately says, sadness crossing her face. Niles looks at Dru's face then looks across the room where my uncle is sitting looking like someone just took his entire world and shattered it. Hopefully Niles will have enough compassion not to ask Dru if she loves my uncle. I don't think he can handle the truth that he was just a stand-in for her true love for all these years.

"Who is Callen's father?" Niles asks.

"Nathan," she says.

"Who is Cameron's father?"

"Nathan," she once again says.

"Did you tell Asher Parrish he's Cameron's father?" Niles asks. She looks down before answering.

"Yes," she says, barely audible.

"You must speak up," Jack bellows causing Dru to jump. She looks up at him and glares.

"Did you tell Cameron that Asher is his father?" Niles repeats. Instead of looking at Dru I look toward Nathan.

"Yes," she says loudly. Nathan loses it upon hearing his wife say she gave claim to their son to another man, and my mother puts her arm around him, comforting him. He falls into her, silently sobbing and shaking his head.

"Why would you do such a terrible thing?" Niles asks.

"Because Asher and I needed help with our plan," she says matter-of-factly. "I thought it was the only way to get him to go along with our requests. It worked."

Niles asks her about the lists, and she spends half-an-hour explaining in detail how the lists worked. I'm not surprised to hear her answer is nearly identical to Asher's. It seems they spend a lot of time together. She must use her position as a Faction Ambassador to meet with Asher. I remember her face the day of the ambassador assignments when she learned she was assigned to Candor. She was livid. Now I know why.

"Did you ask Asher to recruit his son, Alec, to help with these attacks?"

"No," she says. "He will do anything to please me. He did that on his own." Mom told me Dru was not to be trusted. I wonder if this is what she meant. Now I wish Niles would've asked her if she loves either of the men she claims to be her husband.

"Dru, please look at me," Niles says. She opens her eyes and looks toward his voice. "Do you have a list of all the people you have killed or attacked?"

"Yes, I do," she says.

"Tell me who they are?" Jack says.

"I can't," she says with no visible pain. "They're written down though. I can't possibly remember all those names." Anger surges through me. I wonder how many people have died because she was attacked and left for dead as a teenager.

"Where is the list located?" Niles asks.

"It's on my work computer," she says after pausing for a moment. I can tell the increasing pain drove her to answer. I remember that fire.

"How can we recognize the file?" Jack asks.

"It's marked Dawson," she says. Tobias gets his phone out and stares at it for a moment. He then dials someone I've never heard him talk to with the exception of my first day in Dauntless, Lauren Jones, who I learn is a computer programmer when she wasn't training Dauntless born initiates. He quietly tells her she needs to get Dru Wright's work computer and look for a hidden file named Dawson. He tells her it's imperative she not tell anyone what she's doing. She's to put the file on a removable disc drive and immediately deliver it to Tori or Will. He then sends texts to Tori and Will telling them what we've learned so far and to expect a visit from Lauren.

"Asher told us how you add names to the lists. Can you tell me how you target the names on the lists?" Niles asks.

"We go by the information we gather from informants and casual contact with these people. For example, before Amar Atwood was targeted an informant heard a conversation he was having with an initiate. This made us extremely suspicious of him. We targeted him, and he didn't pass our test." I hear Tobias growl. I've never heard him make a sound like that.

He leans close to me and whispers, "He was talking to me about my simulation. Eric overheard us and reported it to Jeanine Matthews. Amar was killed that night." He's never told me this before. Knowing him the way I do, he holds himself partially responsible for Amar's death, and that's why he's kept it to himself.

"What test didn't he pass?" Niles asks.

"The truth serum," she says. I look at Tobias confused. How would they get truth serum? And it doesn't work on Divergents anyway, I just proved that. I see color spreading in Jack's face, and he looks like he's about to blow his stack.

"How did you get truth serum?" Jack asks, sounding deceptively calm. "We don't let truth serum off the premises."

"Asher tried to get it from the Erudite serum lab but he couldn't find anyone to cooperate, so he got it from his old friend Miles Randolf," she says. Not only did Miles help Dru and Asher kill Dawson Andresen but it seems he's been helping them with their vendetta right under Jack Kang's nose even though he denied it earlier. Jack turns his back and walks out of the room. He might only need time to calm down but I imagine he's going to pay Miles a visit.

"You mentioned a test," Niles says to Dru. "What test is that?"

"During the assault the suspect is injected with truth serum," she says. "The only question we ask is if they are Divergent. It works quickly so if they answer yes, the target is eliminated. If they say no, they're only beaten into unconsciousness, and the effects of the truth serum wears off before they wake up. We take the ones who pass the test off the lists and don't bother them again. Why don't you try it yourself? You have a filthy Divergent here in your midst. My husband's niece, Tris, is Divergent. I wish he'd let her fall that night instead of saving her worthless life." Every muscle in Tobias' body clenches, and I put my hand on his back trying to calm him. It won't do us any good if he attacks her, which I imagine is exactly what's going through his head right now.

"Actually, before you were brought in, Tris was put under truth serum and _three_ _times_ denied being Divergent," Niles says.

"That's impossible," she says, glaring at me. "All the information we've gathered indicates she's Divergent." I roll my eyes, playing it up for the audience. I need to make sure they don't try to put Tobias under truth serum. Even though I assumed all Divergents are aware during truth serum that seems like it isn't the case. What if he couldn't lie? They might kill him, and I can't lose him.

"Back to you, Dru. Why are you doing this?" Niles asks. "Why are you targeting people you deem Divergent?"

"Divergents are evil. They don't deserve to live with the rest of us," she says. "I'm doing the city a favor by eliminating them."

"What made you hate Divergents in the first place?" he asks. The room is gravely quiet. We already know what happened to Dru because of Asher's confession. It doesn't seem fair to have her relieve the worse time in her life when we already have the answer.

"A Divergent hurt me," she says through gritted teeth. I can tell she not only doesn't want to answer the question but she doesn't want to think about it either. I was devastated the night Peter put his hands on me, I can't imagine the horror he put her through.

"I need details." I can't stand anymore of this and I jump to my feet.

"No," I say. "You don't need any details. Dru, you don't have to answer that. What's your favorite color?"

"Black," she says with a slight smile on her lips. Hopefully the pain is gone since she answered that question. I then turn to Niles. "You don't need to ask her to relive the assault. The details aren't relevant."

"I will decide what is relevant, Tris," Niles says. "You are out of order."

"You think I'm out of order? Yes, she's done despicable things in her life but she doesn't deserve to relive the details of that night. No woman should have to go through what she did."

"I agree," my dad says walking up to Niles and me. "If you don't move on from this line of questioning, Candor will be reprimanded and you will be removed from your post."

"You can't do that," Niles says.

"Actually, since I've been named the head of the council I've learned just how far reaching my duties are," he says. "And yes, I _do_ have the authority to remove anyone from any post as I see fit. Asking a rape victim about the details of her assault when it isn't in the act of finding or prosecuting her assailant is unnecessary. Move on." He glares at my dad and me for a while before he turns his attention back to Dru.

"How did the Divergent hurt you," Niles says. Dru sits trembling before him, and I catch a glimpse of the frightened 15 year old behind the cold woman she's become.

"He raped me and tried to kill me," she quickly says, a tear sliding down her cheek. "I thought I was going to die. I wanted to die."

"Why did he do that to you?" he asks.

"I don't know," she spits out. "He kept asking me out on a date, and I kept telling him I was engaged to be married. He didn't like my answer so he took what he wanted and threw me away. He tossed me right in the chasm. For a lot of people in here that doesn't mean anything but to every member of Dauntless you know what I mean."

"Did you kill Dawson Andresen?"

"Yes," she says, holding her head up high. She's definitely not ashamed of exacting revenge upon her attacker. I can hardly blame her for that. After reading his file, _I_ wanted to kill him, and he was already dead.

"Who helped you plan and execute his death?" I can tell she doesn't want to answer this question.

"Asher and Miles helped," she finally says. "They talked about asking Nathan and Zander to help but at the last minute they changed their minds. I don't know why."

"Four, do you have any other questions for this prisoner?" Niles asks.

"Yes," he says. He walks to Niles and hands him a piece of paper with a question on it.

"Did you leave the Christmas present on the table the night of the Christmas party?" Niles reads. Dru furrows her eyebrows at that question.

"No," she says. "I don't know anything about a Christmas present." That's odd. After eliminating Nathan as a suspect, I would have bet everything that Dru put that package on the table that night. I wonder who did that.

"Do you have any other questions, Four?" Tobias shakes his head at Niles. "One last question, Dru. What is your greatest regret?" Tears are sliding down her face as she stares straight ahead.

"My biggest regret is pushing Asher away after the attack. He would have stayed by my side but I wasn't strong enough to see that at the time. I thought he only felt sorry for me like every other person who looked at me from that day forward. I pushed him away so hard he choose another faction at his Choosing Ceremony, and I married and had children with a man I never really loved. I missed out on the life I was supposed to live because of that. I will always regret that." At her admission, my uncle can't take anymore. He gets up and storms out of the double doors with Callen and my mom on his heels.


	70. Chapter 70

I lean forward in my chair with my elbows on my thighs and my chin resting on my folded hands hoping this mess is almost over. We have all the key players in custody, except for Cameron. It's too bad he wasn't caught when his mother was. It would have made life a lot easier. I wonder where he's hiding.

While the other factions are still transporting their spies to Candor for their interrogations, Will personally delivered Dante and Samuel. I noticed remorse on Samuel's face when they were brought into the interrogation room but Dante seemed like a totally different person. He's never been my favorite but I didn't think he had it in him to be a spy and let us all down. Tobias couldn't even look at them. He left the room before their interrogations began with the removable disc drive Lauren gave Will.

He didn't miss anything. Much like Jason and Ben, Dante and Samuel were Erudite pawns. They were forced to join Dauntless by Jeanine Matthews to be spies, and they never once questioned her orders. They made weekly progress notes and passed them to a factionless person at a prearranged spot who took the reports to Erudite. They weren't even compensated for their deception. They thought they owed allegiance to the faction they were born into. They were both asked about the package I opened at the Christmas Party but they didn't have a clue who left it there either. When Niles asked them what their greatest regrets were, Dante said Kirsten and Samuel said Ella. They didn't mean to fall in love, but they did, and they regret that their actions hurt them. I can't help but feel bad for them. Tonight's supposed to be a fun party celebrating the end of one year and the beginning of another, and their men are sitting in jail charged with crimes that more than likely will end with their executions.

Ever since Will left the Dauntless compound with Dante and Samuel in handcuffs, my phone's been vibrating in my pocket almost nonstop. I have at least 30 messages and missed calls from my friends. I know I owe them an explanation but I don't have the slightest idea what to say. I get my phone out of my pocket to call Christina just as I see Dr. Parrish come through the double doors. He walks straight toward me so I put the phone away. That conversation will just have to wait.

"I see there have been more arrests," he says looking around the now crowded room. "Do I need to do more DNA tests?"

"No," I say to him. "But I did volunteer your lab for the analysis of the tests instead of Erudite for the time being. We're all a bit leery of them right now and for good reason. Jack Kang will have someone here administer any tests needed, and he said he would deliver them to you himself. I don't know if he was serious or not. He had quite a shock learning that Miles helped kill Dawson Andresen and provided truth serum to Asher and Dru since he got here."

"That's fine, Tris. I had really hoped that Asher and Dru didn't kill Dawson but I always thought they did. I had no idea about Miles' involvement though," he says. "Can I see Asher? I have some things to say."

"You can for a limited amount of time and under supervision," I say to him. "Sorry, Dr. Parrish, those are the rules." I motion to Purple-Hair who's standing by the door. He comes directly to me.

"It's okay," he says.

"Would you please take Dr. Parrish to see Asher?" I say.

"Thanks, Tris," he says. "And before I forget, here are the DNA results from earlier and the car keys." I take them both and put the keys in my pocket. I sit back down in my chair waiting for the next interrogation to begin and open up the test results. Everything's as expected. Definitely no surprises here. I sit back and am taking in the chaos around me when I see Tobias come back into the room. He has a stack of papers in his hand. He stops and talks to different faction representatives and gives them a copy of what he's holding. While he's talking to Jack Kang, I get up and go to them.

"... over a hundred people total on her list," I hear Tobias say to Jack.

"100 total?" I ask, hoping it's not what I think but his look confirms my suspicions.

"Yeah, Tris. They've killed well over 100 people throughout the years. Dru and Asher used to do the assaults and killings themselves until they recruited Cameron, Jason, Jared, Ben, and Alec, whose first assault it appears was on Hana. Maybe he can be rehabilitated."

"Here's the DNA test results," I say handing the envelope to Tobias. "There isn't anything we didn't already know in there." He puts the long list of names he's holding in the envelope for safe keeping.

"I'll get you a copy of the DNA results as soon as I can," he says to Jack. "Since you've interrogated the Dauntless prisoners, Tris and I are going home. We have some business to take care of before the ball tonight and some people who are wondering why two of my best friends were arrested today." I hope he opens up about his feelings on the way home. I don't like the look on his face. It worries me.

"I understand betrayal, Four," Jack says during an unusual moment of sensitivity. "Miles and I have been good friends for as long as I can remember. Today's news was devastating." Tobias and I shake hands with Jack and make our way through the double doors. When we enter the hallway, Mom, Dad, and Caleb are standing there. Tobias and I join them.

"Four and I are going back to Dauntless," I say.

"I have to stay since my faction is knee-deep in this mess ... again," Caleb says with a sigh.

"I have to stay also," my dad says. "It's exhausting to think about how many more interrogations we have to sit through."

"Mom, would you like a ride home?" I ask.

"Thank you for the offer, Beatrice, but I'm staying with your father," she says. "We'll ride the bus home. It passes right by here."

"Did Nathan and Callen go home?" I ask her.

"Yes," she says with sadness on her face. "I never cared for Dru but I had no idea she was so ruthless and cold. I feel bad about what she went through but it doesn't excuse her behavior or what she has done to Nathan. I'm not sure my brother will ever be the same. Please take care of him."

"I'll do the best I can, Mom," I say. "Before I go, I want to apologize again for how you found out Four and I are getting married. We want you all at the wedding. As soon as the arrangements are made, we'll let you know the details."

"I wouldn't miss it for anything," my mom says.

"That goes for me as well," my dad says. "I'm sorry about the punch earlier, Four. I really don't know what I was thinking but it was wrong. I hope you can forgive me."

"It's already forgotten, Andrew, so there's nothing to forgive," he says, shaking my dad's hand.

We all say our goodbyes, and Tobias leads me to the elevator as my parents and brother return to the interrogation room. I could have told them about the baby since we were alone but it didn't seem like the right time or place, and I didn't want to add to their stress. I also didn't want to chance my dad hitting Tobias again. I still can't believe he did that. I still can't believe _I_ did that.

"Penny for your thoughts," Tobias says, looking at me from across the elevator. The doors open, and we quickly walk toward the exit and out to our car, longing for the interrogations and Candor to be behind us.

"I was just thinking about the baby, actually," I say, taking his hand in mine. Fear and joy equally fill me whenever I think of her. "I didn't think it was the right time to tell them. We'll have to make a trip to Abnegation and Erudite soon and sit down and give them the news. I wonder if they'll be happy for us."

"To be honest, at first I doubt it, especially your father," he says, absentmindedly rubbing his jaw. "They'll get used to the idea eventually, we just have to give them time." We both get in the car and start driving toward Dauntless.

"I hope your right," I say. "I don't want to alienate my family, especially my parents."

"We need to talk about the truth serum. You scared the hell out of me today, Tris. I thought I was going to lose you." His stare penetrates to my very soul, and a shiver runs down my spine.

"When I heard Dru say truth serum was used to confirm divergence, I almost fell out of my chair," I say. "Today could have turned out a lot different if I hadn't been aware like I am under simulations. I realize now it wasn't my best plan, but it worked out okay. Once I remembered what was going on and what I was doing, I could lie, it just felt like I was on fire when I did."

"You should only have lied to save yourself," he says, pain in his voice. "You should have answered the questions about me without a second's hesitation. I don't _ever_ want you in pain because of me. You know that." What he doesn't seem to understand is I would feel nothing but pain if he weren't here with me.

"I didn't want to give away your secrets, Tobias," I say, reaching over and taking his hand. "They didn't need to know those things they were asking me. They were irrelevant. I'm so glad they finally stopped asking about the engagement. I was so afraid I was going to end up telling the entire room about the best sex I ever had. Today was great too." He laughs and shakes his head at me, a blush coloring his cheeks.

"I cannot believe we did that," he says. "I don't think even Zeke has had sex outside the Dauntless compound before. I'm sure if he had, he would have bragged about it."

"You mean a _Stiff_ did something before a Dauntless born? _Unheard_ of," I say, joining his laughter. "Can I ask you a question?" He looks at me and nods. "Do _you_ ever brag ... about us?"

"No," he says, lifting our joined hands to his lips. "I wouldn't feel right doing that. Don't you remember how Zeke reacted when he found out we're having sex." How could I forget, he announced it to the entire cafeteria. "I wouldn't want to cheapen what we have." I can only smile at him. "Do you talk to the girls about us?"

"I've talked to Christina a little but not much," I admit. "What we do in our bedroom," my face turns bright red, "or ... _other_ places is ours and no one else's. I don't feel the need to share." He leans over and gives me a quick kiss before returning his eyes to the road. After a moment of silence, I look at him. All of a sudden he looks so unhappy. "Talk to me, Tobias." He furrows his eyebrows at me. "Dante and Samuel."

"I don't know what to say, Tris," he says, then he sighs and runs his hand through his hair. "I've known them both for about two-and-a-half-years. I never suspected they were spies. They hid everything they did. I've been going through the control room's keystroke logs since this mess started and nothing they did ever stood out as abnormal or disloyal. What hurts the most is I've shared things with them I've only shared with you and Zeke. I can't believe they fooled me. I can't believe I trusted them." He's very upset with himself when it's those two he should be angry with. Typical Tobias, blaming himself for something that isn't his fault.

My phone vibrates again, and I pull it out of my pocket. It's another message from Christina telling me everyone's patiently waiting for my arrival. I doubt that very much. Will texted Tobias and told him all the girls ganged up on him when he walked in the door demanding answers he didn't have. He told them I would fill them all in when I get there. I sigh.

"Not more bad news I hope," Tobias says after I sigh.

"All the girls are waiting for me," I say. "They're expecting an explanation."

"Do you want me to come with you?" he says.

"No," I say. "It's not going to be easy breaking the news to Kirsten and Ella. I'm not looking forward to it, but it's probably best that it's just us girls." We pull up to the front of the Pire, and he turns off the car. "Are you leaving it here?"

"No, I have to run and see if Evelyn got my message," he says. "I told her no more codes in flowers, so I don't know if our plans have changed. I'd ask you to come with me but I know you have to get ready for the ball. He leans over and kisses me. "I love you. I'll pick you up at 7:30 for supper. Will and Christina's, right?" I nod at him and kiss him again. What I wouldn't give if we could just lock ourselves in the apartment tonight instead of going to the party. I sigh, say goodbye, then get out of the car.

I relive the highlights of today, the good and the bad, as each step carries me closer to seven cranky and emotional woman who probably think I've been ignoring them for the past couple of hours. If I'm honest with everyone including myself, I was ignoring them while I was at Candor because of business but then I just didn't know what to say so I didn't say anything. When I get to Christina's place, I knock on the door, and she immediately opens it for me.

"It's about time, Tris," Christina says. "Where have you been?"

"What's going on?" Kirsten says. "Why was Dante arrested today?"

"Please tell me it's a mistake, Tris," Ella says with tears in her eyes. "What did he supposedly do?" I was right about cranky and emotional. Marlene, Lynn, Ciara, and Shauna are all ready for the ball, except for their masks but Kirsten, Ella, and Christina are still in regular clothes.

"Why don't you all sit down," I say. "It's a long story but I'll tell you everything you want to know." I proceed to tell them about Jason and Ben's interrogations and the fact they didn't know much. I tell them about Asher and Dru's interrogations. They are hanging on every word, and when I get to the part of the story about Dawson Andresen's assault on Dru, they all gasp in unison. I tell them what the lists mean, who made them, why they were made, how they were made, and how names were eliminated. Then I tell them about the Erudite spies in each faction and that Dauntless' are Dante and Samuel. Kirsten is quite vocal stating she doesn't believe it, and Ella can only sit in front of me and cry.

"I'm so sorry. When you're placed under truth serum, you can't tell a lie, and Asher said they're Erudite plants during his interrogation," I say and even as I'm saying it, I feel a twinge of guilt. "Their interviews are both complete and they confessed. I don't know how severe their punishment will be. You can visit them for short supervised periods if you'd like. Just go to Candor and ask to see them. Guards will take you to them.

"The last thing I think you all should be aware of is this isn't just a Dauntless problem," I say. "There have been more than 100 people killed at Dru and Asher's insistence over the past 20 years. I guess we should be thankful they're all in custody, except for Cameron Wright. Do any of you have questions for me?"

"Why would he do this?" Ella says mainly to herself, not expecting an answer. "He's always been so strong and so Dauntless. Why would he be spying for Erudite?" She starts sobbing again, and Ciara moves close to comfort her. Kirsten, on the other hand, is pacing back and forth muttering to herself. If I hadn't heard it with my own ears when Dante was under truth serum that she isn't involved in this and had no prior knowledge, I would think she was just as mixed up in this mess as Dante was.

"Do you all know what Cameron looks like?" I ask after realizing no one has any questions for me. I think they're all in shock, and might have some later. Some say yes and some say no. I excuse myself and run down to Tobias' office and get the photo grab and bring it back to Christina's apartment. Everyone studies it for a while then I take it back downstairs and put it where it belongs.

When I get back everyone else has left. I take a quick shower to wash off the day then give myself over to Christina's talented hands. I'm still silky smooth from my last wax so she thankfully skips that step. We talk more about the interrogations while she works on transforming me into a masquerade ball princess. She's plucking stray eyebrows when she finally brings up the subject of my engagement.

"Were you surprised when he proposed?" she asks.

"Um," I say, trying to think of exactly how everything happened when she interrupts me.

"You promised details, Tris," she says, sounding pissed.

"I know. I wasn't trying to hold anything back," I say. "I'm just trying to tell you how it happened. Was I surprised? No, I wasn't but that's because we had already decided to get married." She looks at me with complete shock on her face. I tell her about the marriage stipulation for adoption and she understands.

"Yesterday was a very stressful day with talking to your mom and learning the details of Jason's interrogation. When he asked me to go out, I told him no but he talked me into it. I have to admit it didn't take much!" I tell her about getting ready and going to supper. "It was like we were alone in the cafeteria. I don't know how that happens, but it happens quite often. Do you ever feel that way?"

"Yeah, I do," she says with a silly grin on her face. "When we still lived in the dorms, I swear he would look at me, and I'd forget the other initiates were around. It got embarrassing a couple times."

"After supper he took me dancing," I say. "It felt so good to just let loose and not worry about anything for a couple hours. It amazes me the songs he knows. He must have listened to a lot of music the last two years because listening to music is considered selfish in Abnegation."

"Is there anything _not_ considered selfish in Abnegation?" Christina says with a slight scowl on her face. I think about this while she takes all the huge rollers out of my now dry hair. I shake my head.

"Not a lot actually," I say. "I don't want to spoil my kids but I definitely want to give them the childhood I didn't get."

"Enough stalling, Tris. _Engagement_ ," she says. I just laugh. I try to shake my head but she has a firm grip on the rollers and my head doesn't move much.

"Okay," I sigh. "We have a special place we go sometimes."

"Where?" she asks, always full of curiosity. She turns the swivel chair so I'm facing her, and she starts working on my hair. I've never told anyone about the chasm before so I stall a little. She frowns at me.

"The bottom of the chasm," I say. She furrows her eyebrows at me, possibly questioning my sanity. "There's a hidden path that leads to rocks by the river. It's where Four and I kissed the first time." She nods but doesn't say anything, urging me to continue with her eyes. "He led me to the rocks, and we sat watching the river for a while. I wasn't expecting anything. He started saying some very nice things, and then he pulled out the box and asked me to marry him." I look at my ring and relive every moment in the chasm from last night. A bright smile forms on my lips.

"You're smiling like a crazy person," she says with a chuckle.

"I'm so happy right now, Christina, even with all the crap that's been going on," I say. "If someone would've asked me a month ago what I wanted my life to be, I wouldn't have been able to answer. I had no idea where my life was heading. I knew it was headed in the right direction but marriage and a baby so soon. I can't quite believe I'm getting everything I never knew I wanted."

"I'm happy for you and Four," she says. I study her face while she twists, tugs, and sweeps my curls into an extravagant style that falls midway down my back.

"Are you okay, Christina?" I ask. She meets my eyes and forces a smile.

"I wonder when _I'm_ going to get married, Tris," she says. "I really thought he would've asked by now."

"Have you talked to him about it?" I ask.

"I really shouldn't have to, should I?" she says. "I'm carrying his child. We've talked about long-term plans, yet I still don't have a ring on my finger."

"There are no rules for this kind of thing," I say. "If you're not happy with the situation, I suggest you talk to him about it. Four had my ring for quite a while waiting for the right time to propose. Maybe Will is doing the same thing. Talk to him."

"Okay, I will," she says. "I think it's time to get you into your dress. Four will be here any minute." I put my shoes on first then she helps me into the fancy blue dress. She sits me back down in the chair and carefully puts my mask on over my hair then turns the chair so I can see myself in the mirror as a knock sounds on the door. She opens it and Tobias comes into the room looking stunning in his white tux with cornflower blue bow tie and cummerbund, and white shoes. He's holding his mask in his hands, fidgeting with it. I get out of the chair and stand before him.

"Wow," he says, slowly roaming his eyes from the top of my head to my toes, which are peeking out the bottom of the dress. "You look amazing."

"Thank you. You look great yourself," I say to him letting my eyes take in the site of his perfect form then turn my attention back to Christina. "Do you need help getting into your dress?" She has progressed from regular Dauntless clothes to her silky robe but she still isn't ready to go to supper.

"No," she says with a smile. "Will can help me with the zipper. He's upstairs." I'd forgotten he came in while we were talking about the interrogations earlier. I hug her and tell her I'll see her soon.

Tobias puts his mask on, and it makes his dark blue eyes pop. He takes my hand, and we slowly make our way to the cafeteria for supper. I knew Kirsten and Ella wouldn't be here because of Dante and Samuel's arrests but James, Ciara, Zeke, Shauna, Uriah, Marlene, and Lynn are sitting at our table in various shades of the rainbow. They all look amazing but there's sadness in the air tonight, and it's predominant at our table. I look at Tobias as we sit down.

"Let's try to have a good time tonight," he says to all our friends. "Okay?"

"Can we ask some questions," Uriah says with an edge to his voice.

"We'd rather not answer any questions tonight," he says. "I'll tell you what. We'll answer any questions you want to ask at lunch tomorrow. I doubt any of us will be getting to bed very early tonight with the party going on well into the night." Everyone agrees and the atmosphere gets better. Soon Will and Christina join us and things feel almost normal for the first time in a long time. I try to isolate the part of my heart that's broken so I can deal with it later.

Movement out of the corner of my eye catches my attention, and I turn to see a tall, dark haired guy in a black tux with a white bowtie and cummerbund walking purposefully toward me. He seems familiar, and when I see the dark green eyes, I realize who it is.

"Can we talk, Tris?" Peter asks.


	71. Chapter 71

"What do you want, Peter?" I ask. I can't believe he's standing in front of me with the nerve to ask to talk to me. Even if he didn't know exactly what he was doing, he was still reporting about me and probably Tobias to Erudite. Tobias slips his blue mask off and lays it on the table by his still full plate. He slowly gets up from the table and gets in Peter's face.

"I suggest you walk away, _now_ ," Tobias says, in a low, deceptively calm voice. "I'm not going to say it again."

"Four, I'm sorry," he says. "I have to talk to her."

"Talk to _me_ if you have to talk to someone," Tobias says. They stand there staring at each other, neither one willing to back down. I sigh.

"If you want to talk to me, talk." Tobias looks at me like he doesn't approve so I say to him, "It's better we get everything out in the open now don't you think. Peter, I know why you've been watching me." He moves his eyes to mine and his mouth falls slightly open. The look on his face is almost ... embarrassed, which makes me second guess why he's been watching my every move.

"You know why I've been watching you?" he asks, his voice higher than normal and a little shaky. At least he's admitting he watches me now.

"Oh ... my ... God!" Christina says, humor in her voice. I turn to her glaring.

"Not now, Christina," I say, irritation rising within me. I have a feeling I don't want to hear what it is Peter wants to talk to me about.

"Will you listen to me, damn it?" Peter forcefully says, sliding his mask up on his forehead so I can see the severe yet tender look on his face. He's totally creeping me out right now. "You're in danger. I just got a call from Cameron. He told me he's coming for you tonight. He wants my help. He thinks he can trust me but he can't. I didn't know they planned to use what I was giving them to hurt you. I swear."

"Why should I trust you, Peter?" I say. Remembering the night he, Drew, and Al tried to throw me in the chasm, I add, "You already tried to kill me once. How do I know this isn't part of Cameron's plan?"

"Because I love you, okay," he blurts out for the entire cafeteria to hear. Those are three words I never wanted to hear from him. "I obviously didn't go about it the right way but there it is. I love you, Tris Prior. Please let me help you." All I can do is stare at him.

"What did Cameron ask you to do?" Tobias says, fear and suspicion mingling in his voice.

"He wants me to lure Tris to a certain spot in the auditorium so he can take her," he says. "He's extremely angry right now because his mother and father were arrested today. He's looking for payback." I look up into Tobias' eyes and reach out and take his hand. I thought this was behind us. I honestly believed we would wake up tomorrow and receive word Cameron's been taken into custody. How could I have been so wrong? He's not going to stop until he's caught or I'm dead.

"We need to go home right now," Tobias says to me, trying to pull me up from the table.

"No," I say, taking my hand out of his. "This is the perfect opportunity to catch him."

"We're not discussing this, Tris," he says. I see Zeke get up and approach Peter and Tobias.

"Hear her out, Four," he says.

"We aren't using my girlfriend as _bait_ ," Tobias shouts.

"Everyone sit down," I say. "We're causing a scene." I look around and all eyes are on our table and the standoff between Peter and Tobias. We all sit down making room for Peter. I never thought I'd be sharing a table in the cafeteria with the person I hate most in this world, well one of the people I hate most.

"I'm having a hard time believing you," I say. "What exactly is the plan?"

"I'm supposed to get you to the far corner of the auditorium by the single door off the stage just after midnight, and he'll take it from there," Peter says. "I don't know his plan beyond that."

"Four, I could make sure I'm there at the right time and you, Will, Zeke, Uriah, and James can watch from spots in the auditorium and in the hallway, and we can arrest him," I say.

"I don't like it," Tobias says, shaking his head. "It's a good plan, but what if something goes wrong. What if he gets to you and I can't stop him? What if Peter isn't telling us the truth?"

There are a lot of what ifs going through my mind right now also. Trusting Peter is at the top of the list. I look deeply into Tobias' eyes. I see fear, mistrust, and love ... strong love ... a never-ending-type of love. I pry my eyes away from his before I drown in their depths and look at Peter. I've never really _looked_ at him before and doing so right now makes me uncomfortable. I've always thought of him as deceitful and untrustworthy but right now all I see is fear, pain, regret, and, I hate to admit, love in his eyes. Is he good enough of an actor to fool me? I stare for another minute before I make my decision.

"I'm going to believe you, Peter, but it doesn't mean that I like you, trust you, or will ever forgive you for what you did to me during initiation," I say.

"Thank you, Tris," he says. "I'm sorry for everything in the past. I promise I'll never hurt you again." I hope he means what he's saying.

"Are you sure, Tris?" Tobias says. "Once we make this decision there's no going back." Just like every decision I've made lately, this one feels right. I know it's the right thing to do.

"I'm sure, Four," I say. "We need to make a plan of our own to catch him." We spend the rest of our time in the cafeteria talking about how to catch Cameron in between eating dinner and Dauntless cake. We decide to let Cameron's plan be our plan. Tobias and I will be close to the stage at midnight. Peter will tell us there's a problem somewhere, and Tobias will check it out leaving me alone in the area Cameron is expecting me to be in. Tobias will go out into the Pit and double around to the stage door and wait for Cameron to bring me out the door. Uriah, Will, James, and Peter will be strategically placed throughout the auditorium to keep an eye on me, and Zeke will meet Tobias in the hallway. I don't think there's a way for our plan to fail. If any of them sees someone approaching me, they'll take action. I relax into Tobias' side after the plan is made. I put the last bite of cake in my mouth and savor the dark chocolate.

"I'm still not sure about this," Tobias says on our way to the auditorium. We stop and everyone goes around us. Peter looks over his shoulder at me then disappears into the auditorium. A shiver goes down my spine, and it isn't a good feeling. It feels wrong. I hope I'm doing the right thing by putting my trust in his hands.

"I'm going to be fine," I say. "We'll get him and all this will be over tonight."

"I hope you're right," he says, leaning down to place a kiss on my lips. "I love you. You look beautiful tonight. I love the curls." He runs his fingers through my curls and I shiver. _It_ feels right.

"I love you, too," I say. "You clean up quite nicely yourself. White looks _really_ good on you. Do you realize this is the first time I've seen you in anything other than black, well except for that one time when we were children." I let my eyes roam over him as he leads me into the auditorium.

Christina's done it again. The regular heavy black drapery is visible through nets of twinkle lights that are lining the walls. Hanging down the middle of the room over the makeshift dance floor is a very large ornate silver chandelier flanked by two just as grand but slightly smaller ones. The large one holds 20 silver pillar candles that are lit, and the smaller ones hold 12 candles each. In the center of each of the 50 plus large round tables, which are covered in black tablecloths tonight, is a hand painted ball mask set in a large floral arrangement making the flowers look like flowing hair flanked by three silver pillar candles of various heights. I notice that each of the pieces look identical yet completely different as each one of the masks is decorated in different styles and different colors, and each arrangement is made with different color and variation of flowers. Mixed in with the usual live greenery and white twinkle lights wrapped around the pillars throughout the room are miniature ball masks and more flowers. The room looks extravagant.

Tobias and I have more than two hours before our plan begins so we take advantage of the alone time and try to enjoy the party. He pulls me onto the dance floor and into his arms. I recognize the song that's playing, it's the same song we danced to right before he proposed to me. Was that just _last_ night? So much has happened since he put this ring on my finger. It feels like it's been days since we sat at the bottom of the chasm and he proposed instead of just hours. He holds me tight and sings in my ear. I tangle my fingers in his hair and draw his mouth to mine, cutting off the words. I kiss him leisurely for a while. I then push my tongue into his mouth, seeking his. He meets me and I sigh into his open mouth. Everything in the world feels right when I'm in his arms and his lips are on mine. I can't get enough of this perfect man who was made just for me. Too soon the romantic slow song ends and a blaring rock anthem fills the auditorium. We dance to several different songs before I let him lead me to our table. He gets us both a glass of sparkling cider from right in front of the stage, and we sit next to each other, catching our breath.

"Are you having a good time?" I ask him.

"Yeah," he says. "I didn't think I'd be able to with everything that's happening but I was wrong. It doesn't hurt I get to dance with you again tonight. Two nights in a row, that never happens."

"I'm really having fun too," I say, smiling at him. "I was just thinking about last night. Why does it feel like it happened so long ago?"

"Probably because we've been up since before 3 a.m.," he says. It feels like we've lived a lifetime in the past 24 hours.

He pulls me back on the floor, and we dance until I see Tori walk up the stairs onto the stage and talk to the DJ for a few minutes. He laughs at something she just said, and she blushes a little. I think she likes him. I have to remember to ask her about him. When the song that's playing ends, the DJ does not immediately start a new one, and Tori goes up to the microphone.

"It's only one minute before midnight," she says. "If you're here with a date it's time to find them." The place goes wild, and I see people rushing around Tobias and me trying to reach their partners. We just hold each other a little tighter, trying to disappear into one another.

"10 ... 9 ... 8 ... 7 ... 6 ... 5 ... 4 ... 3 ... 2 ... 1 ... Happy New Year!" Tori and the DJ say into the microphone as all the Dauntless members in the auditorium including Tobias and me join in. Horns blow, jewel tone confetti and streamers fall from the ceiling, and Tobias tells me Happy New Year in my ear. He gently places his mouth to mine, and we move our lips together in unison, slowly at first, passion building along the way until I'm drunk on his kiss and wanting more. I have to remind myself we still have business to attend to. He moves his mouth to the sensitive spot below my left ear leaving me even more breathless than I was before. Someone shouting pulls me out of my stupor. Tobias and I both straighten up and look in the direction of the commotion.

"Four! Four!" Peter cries, running up to us. Boy he's playing his part well. It must be time. "There's a fire in the kitchen. I'm not kidding."

"Stay right here," Tobias says, leaning over to place another kiss on my lips. He then adds very softly, "Be careful. I love you, Six."

"I love you, Four."

I'm where I'm supposed to be, standing close to the stage not 10 feet away from the door watching Tobias exit through the double doors out into the Pit followed by Peter and Zeke waiting on Cameron. I pick up a glass of cider from the refreshment table and drink it while I wait. He's late. I wonder if Peter lied to us or if Cameron somehow caught wind of our plan to capture him and chickened out. After about 10 minutes, Tobias comes up behind me and offers me another glass of sparkling cider.

"Thanks," I say, taking the glass from him. I take a long drink of the extremely sweet cider, and the bubbles tickle my nose causing a girlish giggle to escape my lips. He doesn't move from behind me, he just pulls me closer and puts his lips on my exposed neck. "You're distracting me." His hands start roaming up and down my body, grazing my breasts time and again making desire rise within me. "I think we scared him off. He hasn't made his move yet. I'm beat, Four. Let's go home. We can worry about Cameron tomorrow." Right now, sleep is the last thing on my mind but I'll surprise him when we get home. I turn in his arms, searching for the kiss I'm longing for and look up into his deep dark ... _brown_ _eyes_?


	72. Chapter 72

"You didn't scare me off, bitch," Cameron says, scowling at me. "I've got you right where I want you, alone and vulnerable." No one's going to help me now. Everyone thinks I'm standing here talking to Tobias. Cameron's about the same height with the exact same color hair, and he's wearing an identical white tux, white shoes, and cornflower blue bowtie, cummerbund, and mask.

"How did you know what Four was going to be wearing tonight?" I ask, trying to keep the fear out of my voice.

"My mom's friends with Zoe in the boutique. She told her what you bought, and Mom purchased me a matching outfit," he says. I think Christina's going to get another promotion if she wants it because that bitch is going down. "I wouldn't worry about what I'm wearing right now though. You just drank death serum. You don't have a lot of time left to live. The guy I stole it from at Erudite told me it takes longer when it's ingested. I'm glad ... you deserve to suffer." Death serum? What the _hell_ is death serum? He must be lying. I feel fine. My nervous eyes scan the room trying to locate Uriah, Will, James, or Peter so I can signal to them I need help but I don't see any of them. Why aren't they where they are supposed to be? How could I have been so stupid as to trust Peter?

"Too bad you turned around when you did and looked into my eyes," he says, leering at me. "I was looking forward to getting you alone. You seem like one hot little piece of ass. We could have had some fun before you died."

"You would have raped me just like your mom was raped?" I say. "You're a hell of a guy. Oh, I forgot. You're nothing but a filthy piece of scum." His eyes turn almost black with rage at the mention of his mother's assault. My heart is beating at an alarming rate. I can't stand the thought of him touching me, and he's had his hands all over me. I think I'm going to be sick.

"It isn't rape when you want it, sweetheart," he says with an evil grin on his face, licking his lips suggestively. He leans down, and I feel his hot breath on my ear and tense up. "And, honey, you wanted it just a minute ago. You were ready to rip my clothes off right here in the middle of all these mindless drones. Don't lie to me or to yourself." Shame flows through me. He's right but I'll never admit that to him. I thought he was Tobias. I didn't want _him_ , I wanted Tobias.

"I didn't know how to get you alone, and then I remembered that idiot Peter," he says, the same evil grin on his face. "In case you didn't know, he has a little crush on you. It's kind of sweet. I could tell the first time I talked to him, sniveling little weasel. He didn't even ask why we wanted information on you and your boyfriend. He was just thrilled to have an excuse to watch you. Earlier I told him my plan, implied I was going to hurt you, and I knew he'd come running to warn you. I wasn't wrong. My mom and dad taught me well."

"You mean your mom and Asher Parrish," I say. That erases the smile, and he narrows his eyes at me. "She admitted under truth serum today that Nathan is your father. She just wanted your help with killing suspected Divergents so she lied and told you Asher was your father. I still don't understand how learning someone else is your father turns you into a homicidal maniac."

"You're lying to me," he says, raising his voice. I notice eyes looking our way. Maybe if I can get him to cause a scene, someone will come over and help me.

"Why would I lie to you," I say. "I'm your cousin. We're family." That seems to do it. I see a switch flip within him. I don't know how else to explain it.

" _You_ are absolutely nothing to me," he shouts above the music. "You never _have_ been, you never _will_ be." I can tell by everyone who's staring at us they think Four has completely lost his mind. Everyone within a 10 foot radius has stopped dancing and is watching the tense standoff between Cameron and me. Just then, without warning, Cameron rears back and punches me in the face, catching my nose as well as my left eye with his large fist. I'm not ready for the physical assault, and I lose my balance, falling to the floor. I see him rushing toward the stage door.

"Someone stop him," I manage to shout through the pain shooting across my nose and into both eyes. I see people rushing after him through my pain-induced tears, but I can't tell who they are. Everyone's still in their masks concealing their identities. I don't know if Uriah, Will, James, and Peter finally realized it wasn't Four who has been talking to me or not.

"Tris," Christina says, rushing to my side. She and Ciara bend down to help me up off the floor. "Oh, my God! Someone get Dr. Parrish. You're bleeding." I reach up and touch the hot, sticky liquid that's flowing freely from my nose. "Why did Four just hit you?"

"That wasn't Four, Christina," I say, irritation clear in my voice. "That was Cameron. Zoe told Dru what Four would be wearing tonight and sold her a matching outfit." Christina first looks bashful for thinking the worse about Tobias and then incredulous that her boss helped with Cameron's plan. They help me over to our table, and Christina sends Ciara to the refreshments table to get one of the cloth napkin full of ice. When she gets back Christina tilts my head back and holds the makeshift icepack against my throbbing nose trying to get the bleeding to stop.

"I'm sorry, Tris," Christina says, bashful once again. Then she adds, "I should have known Four wouldn't hurt you like that but Cameron looked just like Four, and he was all over you." Heat rushes into my face and tears of embarrassment and disgust fill my eyes at the thought of his hands on me.

"I know," I say, tears flowing from my eyes as blood flows from my nose, hating myself. "I thought he _was_ Four until I turned around and looked into his eyes. I can't stand that he had his hands on me. Christina, Ciara, he said he gave me something called death serum. Have you ever heard of that?" They both shake their heads at me.

"Are you sure that's what he called it?" Dr. Parrish asks, rushing to my side. This is the first time I've seen him out of scrubs. He looks really good in a tuxedo. I nod my head at him. "How did he administer it?"

"He put it in my sparkling cider," I say, starting to worry. I really thought he was just messing with my mind, trying to freak me out. I still feel fine with the exception of the pain in my nose and eyes. "He said the person he stole it from at Erudite told him it takes longer to work that way. He wants me to suffer."

"I've actually never heard of it being used in that way," he says. "We need to get you to the infirmary right away. I need to do some blood work and make a few phone calls." A commotion by the double doors catches our attention, and I turn my head to see Uriah, Zeke, Will, and James dragging an unconscious-appearing Cameron minus his mask into the room. Now everyone can see it wasn't Tobias who assaulted me minutes ago.

"Does he need medical attention?" Dr. Parrish asks.

"It wouldn't hurt but I think you need to take care of Tris first," Will says, eyeing the blood that's all down the front of me. Damn, he ruined my dress.

"Let's get both our patients to the infirmary then." I get to my feet with Christina on one side of me and Ciara on the other and follow Dr. Parrish.

Tori walks up on the stage and says into the microphone, "Parties over people. We have business to take care of. Everyone needs to clear out and go to your apartments. There'll be an announcement tomorrow as to what happened here tonight. GO!" People listen and start leaving.

"Where's Four?" I ask.

"He's taking care of the fire in the kitchen with Peter and a few others," Zeke says.

"There really was a fire?" I ask. I thought that had been Peter's ploy to get Tobias away from me. I guess he did say he wasn't kidding but I thought he was just being extremely thorough with his part.

I'm slowly walking toward the infirmary when something changes inside me. I almost feel exactly like I did when I went under the truth serum earlier today. My blood feels like it turned to molasses running slowly through my veins, I'm lightheaded and dizzy, and my bones feel like they turned to stone. I can no longer walk and stumble into Dr. Parrish but he catches me. He looks into my face, and I see worry in his eyes.

"One of you needs to go get Four," he says. " _NOW!_ " I see someone running off in the direction of the cafeteria but I'm too tired to turn my head to see who it is. He sweeps me up into his arms and rushes me toward the infirmary. He goes past all his questioning staff members into the procedure rooms after he yells for someone to handcuff Cameron to a bed so he doesn't get away.

He takes me into a large sterile room crawling with nurses I've never seen before and lies me down on the gurney. He barks out a lot of orders for different tests. I can see several people rushing around me but I don't care. I'm extremely tired now. If I could just rest my eyes for a minute I know I would feel so much better. I feel a sharp pain on my cheek and open my eyes, which I didn't know had closed.

"Stay awake, Tris," Dr. Parrish says staring down into my face, rhythmically hitting my cheek to get my attention. "It's imperative you stay away. Death serum kills _after_ the victim falls asleep."

"Okay," I say. Pain starts moving through my stomach and out toward my arms and legs. It feels like a million needles are pricking me over and over. I hear someone moaning and realize it's me. I don't like this. This is so much worse than the fire this afternoon. "My stomach hurts."

"I'm going to pump your stomach, Tris, to get as much of the poison out of your stomach as possible before too much can be absorbed into your system. I usually administer light sedation to a person before this procedure but since you can't fall asleep, I'm afraid you're going to be awake. I need you to be brave for me. Okay?" I nod at him. He sprays something up the right side of my sore nose making it numb. "I'm going to insert this tube up your nose and into your stomach and suction out the poison. Breathe through your mouth." He inserts the tube up my nose, and I breathe through the uncomfortable sensation.

I feel my brain disconnect from my body, and I seem to go somewhere else. I can still see all the commotion going on around me, and I hear everyone talking at once but I no longer feel any pain. The fatigue is once again trying to pull me under. It would feel so good to let myself surrender to the darkness but I remember what Dr. Parrish told me, and I manage to keep my eyes open. I need to stay alive, I _want_ to stay alive. I realize if I give in to the weight that's dragging me down, I'm going to die and leave Tobias alone, and I don't want to leave him.

"Okay, Tris," Dr. Parrish says. "That procedure's done. I'm going to test your stomach contents to confirm what Cameron gave you and make some calls. My nurses are going to draw some blood and administer some fluids. I'll be right back. You hang in there."

"Four," I say just above a whisper. It takes a lot of energy to talk.

"I'll bring him right in," he says. "He's been waiting very impatiently to see you." I try to smile. That's my Tobias, always worrying about me.

I try to concentrate on fighting the fatigue. I think of all the reasons I want to live. I think about Christina and Will and the new life they're bringing into the world. I want to be around for that. I want to be Aunt Tris to their children. Then my mind drifts to Mom, Dad, and Caleb. I'm not ready to leave any of them even though we're in different factions and living totally different kinds of lives. They all are still a huge part of who I am. An image pops into my mind of a perfect little girl with dark curls and light blue eyes sitting on my living room floor playing, my daughter. I can't leave my baby before she's even born. What kind of mother would that make me? I can't wait until the day I can hold her in my arms. But I think the hardest about Tobias and what our life together will be like. We're young but I'm confident we'll make it. Our love is the strongest I've ever seen. I can't leave him when our life has just begun. I won't.

"Tris," Tobias says in my ear. I turn my head and look into his worried eyes and sigh. "I'm so sorry I wasn't there to protect you." I shake my head at him trying to communicate that this isn't his fault.

"I'm going ... to be ... fine, Four," I get out. I'm going to make it. I know I am. I just have to fight.

"Cameron's in custody. He's handcuffed to a bed somewhere here in the infirmary but they won't tell me where he is. I think they're afraid I'll try to kill him for what he did to you, and if you leave me, there isn't anyone here who could stop me. I wouldn't have anything to lose."

"The baby," I say, suddenly worried that we'll both abandon our daughter.

"I can't raise her without you," he says, a tear escaping down his cheek. "I won't do it." I slowly move my hand to cover his, comforting him. If he were to kill Cameron because Cameron killed me, the council would have no alternative but to execute him, and I can't stand the thought of the world without Tobias in it. He has to stay alive no matter what.

"Listen to me," I say, a new kind of fire running through my veins. This fire is the desire to stay with the ones I love. "I can do this. I'll prove it to you. Just keep me awake." Dr. Parrish comes into the room and has an unusual look on his face.

"I need everyone to step out of the room," he says. "I need a moment alone with my patient." Tobias turns toward him with a murderous look on his handsome face. "Not you, Four." That seems to calm him slightly. Once the three of us are alone in the procedure room he continues. "I just got some test results back. I have to say, I'm baffled. Tris, you should be dead already. I'm glad you're not but I don't get it."

"Serums don't work the same on me as they do other people," I say, my voice getting stronger.

"What do you mean?" he asks. I look toward Tobias, wanting him to explain for me. I'm still fighting the death serum, and even though my voice is getting stronger, it takes a lot for me to talk.

"Today when she was placed under the truth serum, she was able to lie," Tobias says. I see disbelief on Dr. Parrish's face. "They asked her if she was Divergent, and she said no. As a matter of fact she told them three times she wasn't Divergent."

"You're an anomaly," Dr. Parrish says. "According to Erudite, you should have been dead within 10 minutes of the ingestion of the death serum, and it should have been excruciating for you. All other administrations kill within seconds. It's been over an hour and you're still with us. I think you're going to make it, Tris. Keep doing whatever it is you're doing."

"Fighting the fatigue," I say. "Trying to stay alive." I do manage a smile this time.

"Well, I have some test results to alter," Dr. Parrish says. Tobias and I both give him a questioning look. "What do you think Erudite would do if they found out there was a person in the city who could withstand serums, especially the death serum. You would be turned into a lab rat. You wouldn't be allowed to live a normal life." I never thought of that. This is a much more dangerous secret than being Divergent, especially since not all Divergents can fight serums the way I can.

Dr. Parrish moves me into a private room once he feels the danger has passed. The nurses help me out of my bloody ball gown and into a stupid hospital gown that I really don't want to wear and manage to get my mask off over my mass of curls without breaking it. They have me sitting up in bed because Dr. Parrish doesn't want me to go to sleep. I've now been up for over 24 hours except for the 10 minutes or so Tobias let me sleep in between interrogations today at Candor, and I'm exhausted. Also I feel like a pincushion since his nurses have been drawing blood every 10 minutes for the last two hours like he ordered. He told me the last three blood draws have come back clean for the main toxin in the death serum, which tells him I _am_ going to make it but he's still being cautious. He really doesn't know how to treat me. He's in awe over the fact I'm immune to the death serum.

"Why don't you go home," I say to Tobias after looking into his tired eyes. He's been sitting on the edge of my bed holding my hand since Dr. Parrish let him in the room. "You need to get some sleep. I'm worried about you."

" _You're_ worried about _me_?" he says, shaking his head. "This coming from the woman who just fought off death serum and lived."

"It wasn't death serum, remember," I say with a warning look. My door is open so anyone walking by can hear what we're talking about. He looks at me sheepishly. Dr. Parrish told us not to tell _anyone_ I was given death serum tonight or I could become a test subject for Erudite. He told me to say Cameron lied about giving me death serum because he wanted to scare me, it was a nonlethal poison designed to make a person sick, and having my stomach pumped erased the effects earlier than it would have if I let it pass through my system naturally.

"I know," he says. "And I'm not going anywhere. If you don't sleep, I don't sleep."

"Why don't you bring in our friends then," I say. "They can help us both stay awake." I know they're still in the waiting room. Tobias tried to get them to go home hours ago but they wouldn't budge. Even Kirsten and Ella came down to see how I was doing.

"Are you sure?" Tobias asks, concern on his face. I nod my head at him. He looks at me for a while before a smile crosses his face. "I just can't tell you no." He lets go of my hand and gets up off the bed and heads toward the hallway.

"I'm glad you can't tell me no," I say. "I love you."

"I love you, too," he says. "So very much. I'll be right back." He walks out of the room and almost immediately Peter appears in the open doorway. I stare at him for a moment.

"Tell me you didn't know what he was planning, Peter," I say. I know what Cameron said but I need to hear it from him. I don't know why, but I do.

"I swear I didn't, Tris," he says.

"I believe you," I say, "but it doesn't change anything. I hope you realize why."

"I do," he mumbles. "I'm sorry." Sorry can never erase what he did to me.

"You get away from her," Tobias says walking into the room followed by all our friends, "or I will break your neck."

"Four, it's okay," I say. "Peter was a part of Cameron's plan. He used him. He knew he liked me and would warn me. That's why he set the fire in the kitchen. He needed a real distraction to take you away from the plan. He knew you wouldn't let Dauntless burn. So it isn't Peter's fault just like it isn't yours."

"I'll leave you with your friends," Peter says, heading toward the door.

"Peter," I say. He turns at the sound of his name, expectation on his face. "Thank you for warning us. Four and I appreciate it." His face falls but he still manages a smile.

"You're welcome," he says and turns and leaves the room.

"Will someone please close the door?" I ask. I don't want the noise to disturb any other patients.

"How many of you want to hear the story of what went on today?" Tobias says to our friends. All their hands go up. Knowing it's going to be a long story, people start sitting anywhere they can, on the unoccupied bed next to mine, at the foot of my bed, and even on the floor. Tobias takes his seat next to me and takes my hand in his. He starts at the beginning and gives every single detail starting with finding the lists created by Eric to Cameron's capture tonight. Listening to Tobias tell the story makes me relive every detail, and I realize just how much we have gone through. He could have died Christmas night if Jason or Jared had gotten the drop on us. Tobias and I both could have been found out as Divergents if I'd been wrong about the truth serum. Then there was the death serum. I technically shouldn't be alive right now. I'm incredibly lucky. No, _we_ are incredibly lucky.

"Why do you think they did it?" Zeke asks talking about Dante and Samuel.

"They were fools," Ella says, a scowl on her face. "I went to see Sam. He couldn't give me a good reason as to why he didn't say no to Jeannine Matthews or why he didn't stop after her execution. I think he was brainwashed into thinking Erudite is the master faction instead of all factions being equal. The man I talked to today is not the man I fell in love with and certainly _not_ the man I was getting ready to marry."

"Dante told me he lived for Erudite and would die for Erudite," Kirsten says, scoffing. "I didn't know him at all. I swear I've been married to a stranger for two years. Can I get an annulment?" I can tell by the look on her face that she is _not_ kidding. Everyone is silent for a while. My eyes start to flutter.

"Tris," Tobias says. "You need to stay awake."

"I know," I say. "I'm just so damn tired."

"Why do you think Cameron targeted you?" Marlene asks.

"I really don't know," I say. "Asher and Dru were angry my family and I stopped the war on Abnegation, and I think they passed that anger on to Cameron. He'll be asked that question when he goes under truth serum." The door opens and Dr. Parrish stops in his tracks, mainly because if he were to take another step he would fall over Lynn.

"Wow," he says, taking in all my visitors. "Normally I only allow one or two visitors, Tris."

"They're helping me stay awake," I say with a yawn. He smiles at me.

"Well, that is what I came to tell you, if you would like to get some rest I think you'll be fine. The last blood test was clean also. So maybe all your friends would like to get some rest too." Everyone gets up and gives me hugs and says goodbye and leaves me alone with Tobias. I push the button on the bed to lower the head down into a more natural sleeping position as he turns the light off. He slides into bed beside me and holds me. I start to drift off when the events of tonight come rushing back and emotion threatens to drown me.

"I let him touch me," I say through the thick emotion in my throat.

"What do you mean?" Tobias asks.

"I thought Cameron was you," I say, tears streaming down my face. "He kissed my neck and he ... touched me. I _let_ him touch me." He pulls me closer, kissing my head, and shushing me. He holds me while I cry.

"It's not your fault, Tris," he says, love clear in his voice. I thought he would hate me after he heard what I did. "He disguised himself as me for a reason. What were you to think?"

"I should have known the difference, Tobias," I say through the tears. "I should know your touch. I should know your kiss. What does that say about me?" I sob again as he holds me.

"It's not your fault," he says, emotion thick in his voice. "None of this is your fault. I'm going to kill him."

"Why don't you hate me?" I ask. "Why aren't you disgusted with me?"

"Beatrice Grace Prior, you listen to me right now," he says, angry now. "I love you more than anything in this world, and there's nothing you can do that will ever make me hate you or be disgusted with you." He moves his lips to mine and kisses me gently. He pulls away too soon for me but I know we both need sleep right now so I let myself surrender to the darkness that's been threatening to pull me under all evening while I'm wrapped in the safe circle of his loving arms.


	73. Chapter 73

My eyes flutter open, and the first thing I see is Tobias' beautiful face. He is sound asleep with a peaceful look on his face. I finally realize someone is messing with my arm, and I look to my left and see one of the Dauntless nurses putting a blood pressure cuff on my upper arm. She looks apologetic when she sees she woke me up. Last night hits me like a ton of bricks then joy moves through me. I woke up! I beat the death serum. I knew I had but the fact I fell asleep and woke up confirms it.

"You woke me up," I say to the nurse.

"I'm so sorry, Tris," she says, sounding nervous. I remember threatening the nurses when Tobias was in the infirmary and I cringe. I don't want her to be scared of me. "I need your blood pressure, and I also need a blood draw for Dr. Parrish. He wants to make sure your labs are normal before he discharges you."

"I wasn't complaining," I say, happier than I've been in a long time. I should have died last night, leaving Tobias alone. I shouldn't be here right now laying in his strong, loving arms having my arm uncomfortably squeezed by a nurse who looks like she would like to run away from me. "Can you tell me how long I've been asleep?" She hesitantly looks at her watch.

"It's a little after 2:00 in the afternoon," she says. "I'm afraid I don't know what time you went to sleep." That makes two of us. I have no idea when it was Dr. Parrish came into my room announcing I could finally go to sleep and made all my friends go home.

"Thanks," I say. "Is anyone in the waiting room for me?" Maybe they would know how long I've been out.

"Yes, a Christina Misner has been waiting for you to wake up," she says. "Would you like me to send her back?" I nod my head at her. She finally takes the blood pressure cuff off my arm and starts to draw a vile of blood. When she's done she tells me she'll send any friends who are in the waiting room back and quickly leaves the room. I can't help but chuckle. I still don't think I'm scary but apparently all the nurses do. Not a minute later, Christina sticks her head in my room. I look at Tobias' still sleeping form and put my finger over my lips to let her know to be quiet. She quietly walks in the room with a look of relief on her face.

"How are you feeling?" she whispers. I go to answer immediately and tell her that I'm fantastic but stop myself. I really think about her question and realize that my nose hurts.

"How bad does it look?" I say. "After everything that happened last night, I forgot he hit me." She cocks her head to one side studying my face and frowns a bit.

"Both your eyes are black and your nose looks a little swollen," she says.

"Can you help me get to the bathroom?" I ask. She helps me get out of the bed and into the small bathroom in the corner of the room. It reminds me of all the times she helped me after my accident. I relieve myself, it feels like it's been hours, and then stare at myself in the mirror as I wash my hands. She's right, both my eyes are bloodshot and extremely black. There's a little swelling around the sockets but it doesn't interrupt my vision. My nose doesn't look as bad as it feels. It too is a little swelled, just like Christina told me but there are no cuts, and it doesn't appear to be broken. I'll have to ask Dr. Parrish about it when I see him. I open the bathroom door, and she's waiting for me. I see Tobias is still asleep so I motion her to the two chairs in the hallway right outside the door. We sit side-by-side, and she reaches out and takes my hand in hers.

"I was so scared last night, Tris," she says. "I thought we were going to lose you."

"I have to admit he scared the crap out of me when he said he gave me death serum," I say. "I'm so glad he was lying to me." It feels wrong to be lying to my best friend again after I swore I would never lie to her about anything ever again after Tobias told her his story but I know that if the information about me surviving death serum ever gets in the wrong hands, I could be taken away from my life and put into a cage. "Can you tell me what time Dr. Parrish had you all leave this morning? I want to know how long I was out."

"It was just after 5:00 this morning when he kicked us out," she says. "Will and I didn't get back to our place until close to 6:00 because we all stopped in the cafeteria and had an early breakfast. They cleaned up the fire damage and got the kitchen into working order so there wouldn't be any interruption in the cafeteria service. Will told me there will have to be some permanent repairs made later though."

"I can't believe that bastard set our kitchen on fire," I say. "When Peter told Four and me there was a fire in the kitchen, I didn't believe it." A grin slowly spreads over her lips, and I know what she's thinking about. "I don't want to talk about Peter."

"You're the one who brought him up," she says with a chuckle. I let out a long sigh. "I can't believe he's in love with you."

"He's not," I say matter-of-factly. "He _thinks_ he's in love with me but he isn't. He doesn't know what love is. His version of love is like a little boy on a playground pulling the pigtails of the girl he likes. No, I don't believe it. If he cared about me at all, he wouldn't have put me through what he did during initiation, and he definitely wouldn't have put his hands on me the night he dangled me over the chasm. He wouldn't have dangled me over the chasm for that matter. I know love, Christina. Four can just glance at me, and I feel the love he has for me in every part of my body and in my soul." She smiles at me. I'm getting mushy thinking about Tobias so I change the subject. "What's the gossip going around?"

"Tori didn't let the gossip get out of control," she says. "She basically told a shortened version of what Four told us in your room last night. Dauntless is in shock. I imagine the entire city is." I see a familiar man walking toward me and I tense up. He does a double take when he sees me sitting here.

"What happened to you, Tris," Jack Kang asks. His hands are full of what I imagine are DNA test kits.

"Cameron," is all I say.

"Oh," he says. "He was just transferred to Candor. His interrogation will be at 5:00 p.m. tonight. Will you and Four be there?" So soon. I wonder if Dr. Parrish will let me out to attend his interrogation.

"This is the first time I'm hearing this information," I say. "I'm not sure if my doctor will release me or not. I would like to be there. I'll tell Four when he wakes up. I'm sure he wouldn't miss if for anything."

"I can see why. No offense, but if you aren't there, I hope I never have to see you again," he says, his eyes sparkling. I smile at him, knowing exactly what he means. I hope I never have to see his face again either. He says goodbye and walks off in the direction of Dr. Parrish's lab.

"Christina," I say. "Can you call Will and have him and Tori come here. Four and I need to talk to them."

"What the hell!" Tobias says, panic in his voice. "Tris, TRIS!" I get up and hurry into the room.

"Hey," I say. "I'm right here." He rushes to me and pulls me into his arms. I hug him right back. "I'm sorry. I was in the hallway with Christina. I didn't want our conversation to wake you up. I didn't think about what you might think waking up without me there." I feel his heart beating uncontrollably in his hard chest. He presses his lips into the top of my head for a long moment. When he pulls back, the panic in his eyes is starting to subside.

"I shouldn't have overreacted that way," he says. "Last night was just so ... I can't think about losing you. When you weren't here, I thought my worst fear had come true." I pull him close to me again, holding on for dear life, and inhale his scent. He smells of smoke, sweat, and Tobias. He's still wearing his white tux pants and shirt. His jacket, bowtie, and cummerbund are draped over the black metal folding chair in the corner of the room, and his now scuffed shoes are underneath it.

"When I woke up this morning," I whisper into his chest, "I was so happy. I'm alive and I'm here with you." Emotion takes us both over, and when I lean my head back searching for his kiss, his mouth crashes into mine. He kisses me eagerly, and I return his kiss with just as much vigor. I was so afraid last night in those minutes the death serum was coursing uncontrollably through my veins, threatening to take me away from everyone and everything I love that I wouldn't be able to kiss him again but here he is breathing new life into me. Someone clears their throats but we don't stop. Tobias slows the kiss and pulls away then looks into my eyes and places another quick kiss on my lips. We smile at each other then turn to see who rudely interrupted us. Dr. Parrish is standing there shaking his head.

"Do you remember what I told you yesterday in Candor, Tris?" he asks and color automatically rises in my cheeks remembering our conversation. "I wasn't kidding. No sex for you two for 48 hours. Your body needs rest not stimulation. I still don't know how your body will react to the _poison_. It's better to be safe than sorry." I frown at him. He chuckles at me. He's right though. I glance up at Tobias, and he has the same sad look on his face I know must be on mine right now.

"Is my nose broken?" I say out of the blue. I have to admit it just popped out.

"No," he says. "But your eyes are black in case you haven't looked at them. Put ice on them for 15-20 minutes each day, and the bruises should be gone in a week."

"I hear Cameron's already been transferred to Candor," I say. Tobias' stare turns icy and deadly at the mention of his name. "I need to be at that interrogation. It's at 5:00 p.m. tonight. Can I go with Four?" Dr. Parrish looks hard at me for a while.

"Jump up on the bed," he says. "I'll do an examination and give you my answer when I'm finished." I do as he asks, and he gives me the most thorough examination I've ever had in my life. This is more extensive than after I fell off the pathway. After listening to my lungs he says he'll be right back. Tobias comes and stands in front of me. I look up at him. He caresses my face lovingly.

"I really wish I could kill him for doing this to you," he says. "You didn't deserve this." I remember Cameron's hands on me and cringe slightly. Maybe I did deserve this.

"What's wrong?" he asks. I can't make myself meet his eyes so he pulls my chin up until I'm looking at him. Worry crosses his face when he sees the tears swimming in my eyes. "Please talk to me."

"You said I didn't deserve this," I say motioning to my face. "You're wrong. This is my punishment for letting him touch me." He takes a deep breath and looks disapprovingly at me.

"Beatrice Grace Prior," he says, gripping my shoulders with his strong hands. "You listen to me and you listen good. He took advantage of you. He disguised himself as me and from what I've been told by Will, Uriah, and James, you had your back to him for a long time. They noticed a difference in you the minute you turned around but they thought we were fighting. They didn't know you were in trouble, and they're all just sick about it. You did _not_ do anything wrong, and you definitely did not deserve a punch in your beautiful face. I don't want to hear anything like this come out of your mouth again." The tears fall and he moves his hands from my shoulders and pulls me close to him. "Don't cry. I hate it when you cry." I sit up and wipe away the tears. "That isn't what I meant and you know it. You're punishing yourself for something that isn't your fault. If you want to be mad at someone, be mad at Cameron and Dru."

"And Zoe," I say, my voice quivering because of the tears. He furrows his eyebrows when I mention Christina's boss. "She's a friend of Dru's. She told her what I bought for you and sold a matching tuxedo to her for Cameron. That's how he was able to fool me." I can't believe I forgot to tell him that. He pulls his phone out and contacts a Dauntless guard and has Zoe arrested.

"She's going to be factionless," he says. "I doubt she did anything that would warrant her being executed so I won't have her taken to Candor." Dr. Parrish walks back in the room with my chart in his hands.

"Good news," he says with a bright smile on his face. "The examination I just performed was normal, and the bloodwork that was drawn at 2 p.m. was normal. That means the last six blood draws have been normal. I'm going to release you, and you can go to Candor for the interrogation. I would like you to rest for the next couple days as a precaution though. And remember, _no_ _sex_ for 48 hours." Just as he says that, Will, Tori, and Christina walk into the room. Christina has a smirk on her face, and I glare at her. She laughs. "You're free to go." I realize I don't have anything to wear.

"Christina, I need a huge favor," I say to her. She looks at me expectantly. "Will you go to the store and get me an outfit to wear, and make sure you charge it to me." She nods and walks out of the room leaving Will, Tori, Tobias, and me alone.

"I had Christina call them down here," I say when I notice Tobias' confused look. "You may know this already but Cameron's interrogation is at 5:00 p.m. at Candor, and it's open to the public."

"How did you find that out?" Tori asks. "Will and I decided not to tell you since you had such a rough night."

"I was sitting in the hallway talking to Christina when Jack Kang came by," I say. "He told me."

"Sorry we didn't tell you," Will says sounding bashful.

"I totally understand," I say. "Last night _was_ rough." Everyone nods in agreement. "Dr. Parrish just released me and cleared me to go to Candor for the interrogation. I feel the need to be there for so many reasons, not just what he did to me but everything."

"Tris and I will go. If you two were planning on going, you're more than welcome to join us," Tobias says.

"I was going to go," Will says. "Christina was coming with me."

"I didn't think I needed to go," Tori says. "I haven't been at any of the others."

"I just had Zoe Alder arrested, Tori," Tobias says and her eyes widen with disbelief. "Apparently she's friends with Dru and responsible for Cameron being dressed exactly like I was last night." Shock crosses her face and then anger. I see a bashful look cross Will's face. "I want her made factionless for her involvement. What happened last night wouldn't have happened if he hadn't been dressed like I was." She nods her head at him.

"Do you want the honors or is it okay if I have her escorted out of Dauntless," she says. "It's one last thing you would have to deal with." Tobias smiles at her.

"Thanks, Tori," he says. "I would appreciate it."

"Tris, I'm so sorry," Will says. "We didn't know you were in trouble last night. The minute he hit you we put it together. I wish I would have figured it out earlier."

"It's not your fault, Will," I say. "Even I thought he was Four until I looked into his eyes." Christina walks back in the room with a sack, and I shoo everyone out of my room. Tobias closes the door behind him when he exits the room. I go into the small bathroom and quickly shower before I get dressed. I open the bag and find it full of normal Dauntless clothing. I put on the black lacy bra and boy shorts. I need to thank her for not getting me a thong. Then again, maybe I shouldn't mention it or the next time she buys me undies, they will be a thong. Then I put on the black boot cut jeans, black and dark red striped long-sleeved V-neck t-shirt, and black socks and black fur-lined ankle boots. She's really good at picking out clothes for me. I have to remember to talk to her about Zoe's position when things settle down.

When I'm done, I sign all the discharge paperwork and slowly walk to the salon with Christina so she can take the overly long extensions out of my hair. Tori goes to her office to wait for the Dauntless guard to bring Zoe after Tobias texts him the new instructions. Tobias goes home to shower and change his clothes. Then he heads to the cafeteria and eats a quick lunch and grabs me a muffin. I'm not really hungry but I know I should eat something. I haven't eaten anything since the chocolate cake last night.

After Christina returns my hair to normal, she styles it, and we go to Tobias' office where he and Will are waiting for us. Tobias already pulled the car up outside so we can leave for Candor immediately when we get to the Pire. I eat my muffin while Tobias drives. Once again, the drive doesn't take long, and I realize when I look up at the oversized building that I never want to see it again after today. With the baby coming maybe I will ask Tori if she wants to be Dauntless' representative to the council. That would eliminate some of the stress of being a new mother but I also wouldn't be able to see my brother and father each month. I'll have to think about it and discuss it with Tobias.

We get out of the car and slowly walk up to the huge double doors. We enter the lobby and see several people dressed in all the faction colors rushing around. There's a young Amity woman with tears streaming down her face walking like a Zombie to the exit, seeming not to notice anyone around her. There's an older Erudite man with salt and pepper hair arguing with a Dauntless guard who is stationed by the elevator doors. I don't know what they are arguing about because they're too far away but it's starting to get heated. There's a Candor woman holding a small child tightly in her arms. They both look like they've had better days. It's amazing how a hand full of people can destroy so many lives.

We walk to the elevators, and the guard immediately lets us pass, and the Erudite man becomes even more upset. He's wanting to see his son who was arrested but they aren't letting any visitors up at the moment. The Dauntless guard is explaining over and over as nicely as he can he's just going to have to wait but the man doesn't like to be told no. I want to intervene but Tobias shakes his head at me. I sigh. The elevator takes us up to the top floor, and we make our way into the interrogation room. It looks exactly like it did yesterday, except the tiered benches are nearly full. I look around the room and see my parents and Caleb standing in a corner talking quietly amongst themselves. I tell Tobias I'll be right back.

"What in the world," my dad says, shock and disgust on his face. "What happened to you, Beatrice? Did Four do this to you?" Anger flows through me. Why would he automatically think that?

"No!" I say. "Cameron did, last night. Why would you think Four did this? He would never hurt me, Dad. You need to make up your mind, either give us your blessing or hate him. You can't do both. You're going to have to get over your prejudices or you will lose me."

"I'm so sorry, Beatrice," he says, bashfully. "I don't know why I said that. I know he would never hurt you this way." His hand moves up and caresses my cheek. "Why did Cameron do this?"

"He's a psychopath," I say matter-of-factly. "He wanted me to suffer but he isn't going to win. With the exception of a little soreness, I feel fantastic today. We got him, and hopefully this mess will be over after his interrogation. Then I'm going to go home and sleep for a couple days. I didn't get much sleep last night." I leave out the part about the poisoning. They don't need to hear that. Tobias comes up behind me, and I look up over my shoulder and into his face. I smile then lean into him.

"Do you think this interrogation is going to tell us anything new?" Caleb asks.

"I doubt it," I say. "I think it's mainly a formality."

"I agree," Tobias says. "It's almost 5:00. We should take our seats."


	74. Chapter 74

Tobias and I take our seats between Will and my father in the council and leaders section that was set up. I look across the gallery and see Christina sitting with her mom and younger sister, Rose; Caleb sitting with Will's sister, Cara; and my mom sitting off by herself with a content smile on her face. She never ceases to amaze me. In the tiered benches are hundreds of faction members waiting patiently for Cameron's interrogation. Hopefully this will be the last interview we have to sit through ... ever.

The heavy double doors bang open, echoing through the chamber, and Cameron saunters into the room with a superior look on his bruised face flanked by Purple-Hair, Snake-Tattoo, and two armed Candor guards. They lead him to the chair in the middle of the room, and he starts to sit down. When his eyes meet mine, shock crosses his face, and he freezes. He obviously thought he killed me last night. I can't hid my happiness at the fact he's in custody and I'm alive and a dazzling smile turns up my lips. Once the shock wears off, he finally lowers himself the rest of the way into the chair and glares at me.

"You're supposed to be dead," Cameron shrieks, not taking his eyes off me. A hush falls over the crowd as he speaks. "I killed you." Niles and Jack look my way then back toward Cameron with curiosity on their faces.

"We _will_ have order," Jack says and the room goes deathly quiet. "We are here for the interrogation of Cameron Wright who is charged with murder and crimes against humanity. After his interview all sentences for the criminals in custody will be handed down and the dates of all executions will be revealed." He turns to Niles and nods.

"My name is Niles Murphy. I will be conducting your interrogation this evening," he says to Cameron. "The truth serum is stronger than normal due to a friend of yours withstanding the serum until he passed out. The stronger version is impossible to withstand, and you will answer immediately. If you don't answer immediately, you will feel a painful sensation." I can attest to that. He opens the black box on the table by Cameron and takes out an alcohol swab. "Please wipe off the left side of you neck." Cameron defiantly crosses his arms across his chest and looks away. Niles takes a deep breath, rips the package open, puts his hand on Cameron's head, roughly turns it to the right, and wipes off the left side of his neck. Niles then takes the syringe and jabs it into the left side of Cameron's neck causing him to flinch. Nile's been doing this for so long, he no doubt hit the vein. As Niles throws the syringe in the trash can, I see Cameron's eyes glaze over, and he slumps in the chair. Here we go.

"What is your full name?" Niles asks.

"Cameron Nathaniel Wright."

"What are the names of your parents?"

"Drusilla Wright and Asher Parrish," he says. I look around the gallery and see Nathan and Callen sitting off by themselves. Nathan shakes his head but shows no other emotion. Callen on the other hand looks like an emotional wreck. I can't image what he's going through right now.

"Why do you think Asher Parrish is your father?" Niles asks.

"My mother took me aside when I was 8-years-old and told me she had something to tell me. She said she had been lying to me all my life and that Nathan is my stepfather. My real father's name is Asher Parrish, and he lives in Erudite." Niles hands Cameron a piece of paper and confusion crosses his face for the first time during the interrogation.

"Your mother has been lying to you since you were 8 years old," he says. "Right there is DNA proof your parents are Drusilla Wright and Nathan Wright. You are a 0% DNA match to Asher Parrish." Niles doesn't give him any time to absorb the fact his mother has been lying to him for over half his life. "When did your mother approach you about eliminating suspected Divergents?"

"On my 16th birthday," Cameron says. What a birthday present.

"How did she approach you," he asks. "I need the whole story."

"I wasn't feeling well that day so Mom let me stay home from school. She brought a slice of Dauntless cake home from the cafeteria for me while Callen was at school and Nathan was at the fence," he says. "She sat me down at the table and told me a very terrible story of how she was assaulted and nearly killed by a Divergent boy she knew growing up named Dawson. She explained to me how dangerous Divergents are and that they need to be eliminated from society to keep us all safe. My birthday was a week before my Choosing Ceremony, and she told me she wanted me to join Erudite to be with my father, Asher, because they needed my help. They made it their mission to destroy all Divergents to keep everyone safe. That's when she told me the plan." He tells us the same thing about the lists Asher and Dru did. "Once I joined Erudite, I became fast friends with Ben Riley and Jason Grant. Less than six months later I recruited them to help with the problem also."

"Do you remember the names of the people you assaulted and killed?" Niles asks after a moment of silence. Cameron pauses for a bit then flinches.

"No, I don't know their names," he says. "There were too many to keep track of. Mom did that."

"Did you think it was okay to hurt the people you assaulted and killed?" he asks.

"Yes," Cameron says matter-of-factly with no confusion and no remorse. Outrage moves through the gallery until Jack calls for order again.

"Why?" Niles asks.

"I told you, Divergents are dangerous," he says.

"Have you ever personally witnessed a suspected Divergent being dangerous?" Cameron pauses and confusion crosses his face once again.

"Um, no," he says.

"Then why did you believe your mother so easily?" Niles says.

"Because a Divergent raped and tried to kill her. She didn't lie about that." Silence dominates the room. Everyone is learning this situation is just about a callus mother who used her gullible son to exact revenge on a group of people who didn't deserve it. Cameron, as horrible as he is, is just a pawn like so many of the others. How could a mother destroy her very own son that way? Momentarily my mind wanders to Evelyn and all the hell she's put Tobias through but I push it away. We'll deal with her another day.

"You were arrested in Dauntless last night," Niles says. "Why were you there?"

"I knew the end was near so I thought I would kill the one person my mom wanted eliminated the most, Tris Prior, and she _should_ be dead right now. I gave her death serum last night." A gasp goes through the crowd and eyes land on me but I hold my head high. Niles and Jack turn toward me, confusion on their faces. Everyone knows it's impossible to survive death serum.

"What's he talking about, Beatrice?" my dad quietly says. I shake my head at him and tell him not now. Tobias reaches over and squeezes my hand then gets up and goes to Niles and Jack. Although I can't hear what he's saying, I know he's telling them my cover story. I see them both nod.

"Tris is lucky to be alive today, Cameron," Niles says. "It seems you stole the wrong serum from Erudite."

"I did not," he says forcefully. I hold my breath. "It was death serum."

"Obviously not or she wouldn't be here right now," Jack says. I start to relax. They believe the lie. I was hoping I wouldn't have to go back under truth serum.

"Do you have any questions for the prisoner, Four?" Niles asks. Tobias hands him a piece of paper. "Cameron, did you leave the Christmas gift at the Dauntless Christmas Party?" Cameron actually laughs at this question.

"Yeah," he says. "I loved how I could walk around that compound among those mindless idiots and no one ever suspected a thing. I was six feet away from the _leaders_ table and not one person looked my direction. A little self-centered I would say." I see the Dauntless members in the audience didn't like being called mindless idiots.

"Why did you attend closed Abnegation meetings?" Niles asks still reading from Tobias' note.

"I was gathering information for Mom and Dad ... Asher," he says.

"Did you learn anything valuable?" Niles asks.

"They never told me if any information I forwarded was valuable or not," he says. "I happened to think it was very boring. I've never been interested in politics." I see Jack making a note of something after Cameron's answer then looks at Niles in silent communication and Niles nods.

"I have one final question for you," Niles says. "I ask everyone who goes under truth serum this question. What is your biggest regret?"

"My biggest regret is believing my mother so wholeheartedly and not questioning her. I should have. I've wasted my life." The moment this answer crosses his lips, he looks confused. Obviously he didn't know his deepest regret.

Every Candor member says in unison," Thank you for your honesty."

I let out a sigh of relief. It's finally over. Now all we need to learn is everyone's punishments and when any execution will be held. Tobias comes back to me, and I stand up and wrap my arms around him. He hold me close and kisses the top of my head then stiffens a bit. I turn my head and see my dad looking at us. I narrow my eyes at him.

"What's this about death serum, Beatrice?" he says, worry covering his face. Out of the corner of my eye, I see Mom, Caleb, and Cara coming our way.

"Why don't we wait for Mom and Caleb," I say. Cara comes rushing to Will and straight into his arms. They hug each other for a full minute, whispering in each other's ears before letting go. Soon everyone including Christina, Stephanie, and Rose is standing around me waiting for my explanation. I tell them about Peter's warning, the masquerade ball, and Cameron dressing like Four and putting something in my drink.

"It turns out it wasn't death serum like he told me," I say. "He either lied and said it was death serum to scare me or he made a mistake and stole the wrong stuff. I just feel lucky to be alive."

"We're all glad he made a mistake," Christina says. "I can't imagine my life without you." We hug each other closely.

"Christina," Will says. She lets go of me and turns toward the sound of her name. "I want to introduce you to my sister, Cara. Cara, this is my girlfriend, Christina." They smile at each other and shake hands. "I'm sure you remember Tris and Four." I hold my hand out to her, and she shakes it.

"It's nice to meet you, Christina," she says. "And it's nice to see you two again. I'm glad this mess is over."

"We all are," I say. This is the first time I've been around Cara and haven't had the urge to punch her in the face. This causes a smile to turn up my lips. "I don't know about the rest of you, but I really don't ever want to see this room again." Everyone laughs at my statement.

"Can we have order?" Jack says once again. When I turn toward him, I see all the prisoners have been brought in wearing handcuffs, except for Cameron. He's still slumped in the interrogation chair under the influence of the truth serum. I look around and see Nathan and Callen hovering by the double doors ready to make a quick escape once they hear Dru and Cameron's fates. I think we all know what they will be. I catch his eye, and he nods at me. I smile and give a little wave. He definitely isn't ready to smile yet. I hope he'll be okay. I need to reach out to him after this is all over.

"If everyone will please take a seat, I would appreciate it," he says. Everyone scrambles to find an empty seat. "We will start with the least severe charges and work our way up to the most severe. Once the charges are read, the sentence will be delivered and the prisoner will be taken back to their cells." He starts out with the spies, listing Abnegation, Amity, Candor, and Erudite before getting to Dauntless. "Dante Reyes, Dauntless. Charged with spying. Sentence is death. Samuel Donovan, Dauntless. Charged with spying. Sentence is death." I knew this was coming since all the other spies were sentenced to death but it doesn't make it any easier. They're making examples out of them. The spies from almost four months ago when Jeanine, Max, and the other Dauntless leaders were executed were only made factionless. Our city is not taking any chances this time. I look around the room but Kirsten and Ella aren't here. I don't know how we're going to tell them the news. They probably didn't know the sentences were going to be handed down tonight or maybe they did and they just couldn't face it.

"Jason Grant, Erudite. Charged with murder and crimes against humanity. Sentence is death. Ben Riley, Erudite. Charged with murder and crimes against humanity. Sentence is death. Cameron Wright, Erudite. Charged with murder and crimes against humanity. Sentence is death." The only audible sound is Callen's intake of air. Now I see tears in his eyes. Nathan puts his arm around the shoulders of his youngest son, comforting him. "Alec Parrish, Erudite. Charged with assault and crimes against humanity. Sentence is six months in jail then memory wipe." I look at Tobias with a question in my eyes. What in the world is memory wipe?

"Before I get to the last two sentences, I have something to say," Jack says, pacing back and forth in front of the only two prisoners left in the room, Dru and Asher. "I am _appalled_ by your actions. It is very unfortunate what happened to you Drusilla when you were 15 years old but that does not give you the right to take the law into your own hands and seek retribution against people who never wronged you. But the most reprehensible thing you did was to bring your innocent children into it. Asher, the only reason Alec wasn't sentenced to death is because of his young age and the fact he only participated in one assault or he too would have paid with his life for your crimes. Drusilla, I can't imagine telling my son at the tender age of 8 that his biological father, who he lives with and loves him dearly, isn't his father and cause an alienation of affection. Not only that but you turned your own flesh and blood into a serial killer. Are you proud of that fact? I wish there were harsher punishments for the two of you because I have never in my entire life seen any two people who deserve it more." He walks back to the spot he read all the other charges on shaking his head.

"Asher Parrish, Erudite. Charged with murder and crimes against humanity. Sentence is death. Drusilla Wright, Dauntless. Charged with murder and crimes against humanity. Sentence is death. All death sentences will be carried out at midnight tomorrow night at the Hub. They will be open to the public but it is not mandatory for anyone to attend." Upon hearing his wife's sentence, Nathan ushers Callen out of the interrogation room at top speed. I wish I knew what to say to them both. This is going to change their lives so completely. I hope they're strong.

"What is a memory wipe?" I ask. I really don't know who I'm talking to right now I just need to know what that sentence is.

"Memory serum will be used on him," my dad says. Oh, God! There's _another_ serum? "It can be programmed to erase only certain memories. I imagine it will take away all the memories of his father recruiting him into his vendetta. He's young. I'm glad they were lenient on him."

"You didn't see what he did to Hana," I mutter, remembering her injuries – injuries she's still dealing with.

"Of course, I'm sorry," he says.

"What will happen to him after that?" I say.

"He'll spend the next six months in jail then have his memory wiped," Tobias says. "He just recently turned 16 so I imagine he'll go through the choosing ceremony like every other 16 year old."

"That's it?" I ask. "I know he's young and his father manipulated him but does that seem like enough punishment?"

"I think it is," he says. "It's too bad it's too late for Cameron. Yes, he's an evil bastard who deserves to die for what he did, but on the other hand if his mom and Asher hadn't lied to him and manipulated him his _entire_ life, he wouldn't be in the mess he's in." I didn't know Tobias had it in him to feel compassion for Cameron. Just last night he was wanting to kill him with his bare hands.

"How are you feeling? Tobias asks.

"To be honest, I'm tired," I say. "It's been a long couple days."

"I should get you home," he says. "Will, Christina, are you ready to go?" They look up from their families, and it's apparent they don't want to leave yet.

"Why don't we hop the train," I whisper to Tobias. "You can help me on and hold me while we jump off like we did when we went to see your mom."

"Are you sure?" he asks.

"Yeah," I say. "They deserve this time with their families. I don't want to ruin it for them." We say goodbye to my mom and dad then walk over to Will, Christina, Caleb, Cara, Stephanie, and Rose. Tobias hands Will the keys to the car and tells him we're taking the train home. Christina hugs me and whispers thank you in my ear. I give Caleb a hug and shake hands again with Cara. We tell Will and Christina that we'll see them later then head out of the Merciless Mart to the tracks right outside the building. We don't have to wait long for the train. When we see the front of the engine we both start running, and he jumps first then helps me on. I sit on the bench across from the door.

"Is it really over, Tobias?" I ask as he pushes the button to close the sliding door. He turns to me and smiles brightly.

"I think it is," he say, nodding. I can't help but smile at him. He walks over to the bench and sits down beside me. I wrap both my arms around his waist and lean into him. He wraps his arm around my shoulder.

"What are we going to do with ourselves?" I say thinking back over the past six months but mainly the past few weeks.

He says something like, "I can think of a few things," into my hair. I pull back slightly and look into his face. He grins at me. I tilt my lips toward his, and he doesn't disappoint. He kisses me softly for a moment before he pulls away.

"Now that the assaults and killing are over we can concentrate on what we started before this mess began, making Dauntless a better place to live," he says. I nod at him and rest my head against his chest, the events of the past 24 hours weighing me down.

"I can't wait to get home, I say. "I'm so tired." I decide to rest my eyes until it's time to jump. After what seems like only a minute, I feel him pull me up into his arms and a rush of cold air hits me, waking me up.

"It's time to jump," he says. "Hold tight." He takes a step back then launches us out the train car. My heart stops beating momentarily as we hang in the air for a split second. Then he lands on his feet and runs a few steps to keep his footing. I was right about that being fun. I was too pissed at him the last time we jumped out of the train to enjoy it. He puts me on my feet, and we walk the rest of the way home hand-in-hand. It's still relatively early but the fatigue is returning.

"Let's go to bed," I say when we get into the apartment. He eyes me strangely. " _Sleep_ , Tobias. I'm tired. Aren't you tired?"

"Yeah," he says nodding. I stand on my tips toes, wrap my arms around his neck, and pull his mouth close to mine.

"Then take me to bed," I say as my lips touch his. He chuckles throughout our kiss. Then he sweeps me up in his arms and carries me to bed.


	75. Chapter 75

I roll over in bed, reaching out for Tobias but he isn't there. I put my hand on his pillow, and it's ice cold indicating he must have gotten up a while ago. I look at the clock, and it says 12:02 p.m. I swear I haven't done anything but sleep for the past two days. Apparently, fighting off death serum makes a person extremely tired. I even missed the executions last night because I couldn't stay awake. Tobias made the decision to go to the Hub without me. When I woke up and realized he was gone, I was irritated at first but then figured I really didn't need to see the punishments as long as I knew the drama was over. I tried to wait up for him but I was too exhausted, and I fell back to sleep.

The sound of the shower turning on catches my attention. An idea pops into my head, and I roll out of bed. I head into the bathroom and see Tobias through the opaque walls of our large shower washing his hair. He obviously didn't hear me come in because he doesn't stop what he's doing. I quickly strip off my pajama bottoms and lacy camisole and throw them in the hamper. I get a couple more towels and put them with his.

I open the shower door, and the light scent of Tobias' shampoo overwhelms me momentarily. I step inside the hot, steamy shower but he still doesn't notice I'm around because he's standing under the hot water rising his hair. I close the door, take a step closer to him, and lightly touch his shoulder. He jerks his head in my direction and looks down at me in surprise. I smile brightly up at him.

"Hi," I say, not knowing what else to say. He leisurely takes in my naked appearance and smiles back at me, his eyes sparkling.

"Hello, yourself," he says. I reach for the bottle of his shower gel and pour some in my hands.

I get a good lather going and say, "Here, let me help you." After he finishes rinsing the shampoo from his hair, he steps out from under the water, and I slowly run my soapy hands all over the hard muscles of his hairless chest and arms. I love how they feel under my slippery fingers. For the first time, I really notice his shampoo and body wash are the same delicious woodsy scent. He steps back under the water and lets the lather rinse off his beautiful body. He then picks up my coconut-scented body wash and pours some into his hand.

"Your turn," he says with a grin on his face. He washes my front paying special attention to my small, firm breasts. He cups them with both his hands then kneads them gently, all the while staring deeply into my eyes. By the time he's done, I'm squeaky clean, and my nipples are standing at attention, aching for more of his touch. He takes a step back and lets me under the water to let the soap rinse down the drain.

He carefully turns me around, and I feel his lips on my neck and shoulder. I hear him pour more shower gel into his hands, and he starts massaging the lather into my shoulders, working out a few knots I didn't even know I had. I practically melt against him. I didn't realize how good it would feel to have his hands moving over my body with the assistance of the slippery shower gel. When he's done massaging and cleaning my entire backside, I have him turn around while I let the water rinse my body. I give him the same special treatment he just gave me. I start with his neck and work my way down, running my soapy hands over every detail of his tattoo. I don't stop at his waist either. I add more shower gel to my hands, and massage the lather into his tight behind. He lets his head hang back, and I hear a moan escape his throat causing me to smile even brighter. I love that my touch turns him on. I still don't understand it, but I've come to accept he wants me as much as I want him. I move him under the shower spray and kiss his tattoo and run my fingertips lightly up and down his slippery body as the water washes him clean.

He carefully turns us around on the slippery tiles and has me sit on the small shower bench that sits in the corner of the shower and directs the spray of water so it hits us both. He gets down on his knees in front of me so we're eye to eye. He once again fills his hand with my shower gel and thoroughly rubs it between his fingers, never taking his eyes off mine. He takes my left calf in his hands and slowly runs his soapy hands up to the top of my thigh and down to the tips of my toes. My leg looks so small in his massive hands. Then he turns his attention to my right leg and repeats every movement until my legs have never been so clean. I automatically part my thighs for him and lean myself back against the wall, giving him access to the most very intimate part of me. He never takes his eyes off of mine as he rubs his hands up and down and around my thighs. My breath catches in my throat every time his fingers graze my womanhood. It doesn't take me long to realize he's teasing. Every time his fingers come close to where I want them, he backs off.

"Tobias," I moan. "Quit teasing." He laughs at me.

"Tell me, love," he says, his eyes sparkling with mischief, "what do you want?" Fire floods my cheeks at the thought of telling him what I want. My eyes widen, and I just stare at him. All I can think about is the hammering of my heart in my chest. He starts to get up off his knees as he says, "Well if you're done, we might as well get out of the shower." I reach out my hands and grab his arm a little too roughly, pulling him toward me. He slips a little but regains his footing and goes back to his kneeling position.

"You're mean," I say and he chuckles. He continues looking in my eyes, waiting patiently. I wrap my arms around his neck and pull him close to me. I put my lips up to his ear and whisper, "I want you to touch me." I take his hand and guide it between my outstretched legs showing him where exactly I want him to touch me. I move my mouth to his and capture it with hungry urgency. He slowly starts to circle my aching nubbin with his thumb as his tongue dances with mine. I sigh into his open mouth, and I can feel him smile. I hold him to me as the water hits us both in the side of the face. He gently inserts a callused finger inside me, moving it slowly in time with his thumb that's still circling. I feel my stomach muscles tighten as the pleasure Tobias is producing moves through me then he abruptly stops and moves his hand away. I break away from his kiss.

"Don't stop," I scream. I grab for his hand to put it back but he's much stronger than I am on a normal day. Now with desire-spiked blood running through my veins, I'm practically a 90-pound weakling. His hand doesn't move. "Please, Tobias," I beg. "Why did you stop? God, you're killing me." Finally remorse flashes in his eyes.

"I'm sorry, Tris," he says, regret in his voice. "I was just trying to have a little fun. Looks like it wasn't much fun for you." He inserts not one but two fingers inside me and picks up the in-and-out pace but he doesn't put his thumb back on my nubbin. Instead he slides further down on the shower floor and puts my right leg over his shoulder. I put one hand on the shower wall and the other on his shoulder to steady myself. My breathing increases in anticipation of what's to come. "I'm going to make it up to you." He smiles suggestively at me then dips his head down. I spread my legs even further for him and scoot my behind forward to give him greater access. He puts his lips where his thumb had just been and sucks lightly on my nubbin making me moan as he moves his fingers in and out of me. I close my eyes and concentrate on the feel of his mouth. There's only one sensation I like more than this and that's the feeling of him buried deep within me. He nibbles at the extremely sensitive bundle of nerves, adds a light swirl of his tongue, then goes back to sucking. I grasp his head and keep it held firmly in place. I don't want this to stop anytime soon, and he seems to know what I'm thinking.

He's doing a damn good job of teasing me again but this time I don't mind. He brings me right to the brink then slows his fingers and moves away from my nubbin making my climax back off. Then when he's sure I'm not in danger of falling over the edge, he moves back to my aching bundle of nerves and starts the sweet torture all over again. After about the third time of doing this, I'm panting and writhing against him. I just can't stand it anymore. I need the release he's denying me.

"Please don't," I say with a whimper when I feel him start to slow yet again. "I need to come. Please, Tobias, _please_." I can't believe the words coming from my mouth. Normally I'd be beet red saying something like this to him but right now I don't care. I need the relief.

"Are you sure that's what you want?" he asks, looking up at me, his fingers slowing further. I stare into his eyes and manage to nod at him. "Okay." He adds a third finger inside me and puts his mouth back on me and relentlessly circles my nubbin with his talented tongue. He curls his fingers slightly as he picks up the pace, and a jolt so powerful hits me that I swear I've just been struck by lightning. My toes curl and my breathing stops for a moment as the bolt of electricity surges through my body. Once I can breathe again, I scream his name at full volume and firmly grasp his head to me with both my hands as tiny electric shocks make my body shudder uncontrollably. Then I shiver despite the heat of the hot water beating down on us.

"Tobias," I say once I'm able to speak again, "damn I love you." He gets up on his knees in between my outstretched legs and wraps his arms around me. He slowly moves his mouth toward my trembling lips, and we kiss slowly for what seems like hours. When he pulls back he has that confident, smug grin on his face, and I shake my head at him. He obviously is very proud of himself for making me come so hard.

He gets up and grabs my bottle of shampoo. I try to stand but my legs aren't working quite yet. He pours a little coconut shampoo out in his hands and starts lathering up my hair. It feels strange having him wash my hair but nice at the same time. After he washes it thoroughly, he helps me stand up and my legs seem fine. He rinses my hair and applies the conditioner. A giggle escapes my lips as I think of something.

"What?" Tobias says, eyeing me as he runs his hands through my hair.

"It's a good thing we have a tankless water heater," I say. "I imagine we've been in here nearly an hour." He smiles and nods at me.

"Are you ready to get out?" he asks with a seductive smile on his face and more mischief in his eyes. I shake my head at him, and he narrows his eyes at me.

"You aren't clean yet," I say as I help him rinse the conditioner out of my hair. "Don't you need conditioner too? You've only washed your hair."

"Oh, yeah," he says, touching his hair. I think he forgot what he was doing when I stepped in the shower. He sits down on the little shower bench and hands me his conditioner. I open the bottle and inhale the scent that is Tobias. He smiles at me again. I pour a little in my hands and rub them together like I do when I put conditioner on my hair then gently glide my fingers through his tresses. He finds his mouth is at the perfect level and reaches out to pull me closer, kissing each of my breasts. Then he draws one of my nipples into his mouth, causing a moan to escape my lips. I close my eyes as I run my fingers through his hair feeling his mouth on me. Then I take a step backward, and he frowns up at me for taking his toys away.

"Rinse," I say. He slowly gets up and stands under the water and rinses his hair. I pick up his shower gel and point at the shower seat again when he opens his eyes and looks at me. I notice an odd look crosses his face as he sits down, and I kneel in front of him. I put the shower gel in my hands and move them over his legs, starting at his left foot and ankle then working my way up his leg, across his hips and groin, and down his right leg to his foot and ankle. Once I move out of the way, the shower washes all the lather away leaving him clean and fully aroused. He always takes such good care of me that I decide it's time for something new. My heart hammers in my chest at the thought of what I'm about to do. I've never even thought of this before. I can see his breath coming in short, shallow pants. The strange look is back on his face. I can't figure out what he's thinking. I reach out and take his throbbing length in my hand and gently stroke him. The addition of the water makes the action effortless.

"I know what you're thinking, Tris, and you don't have to do that," he says, completely serious. I look up into his eyes then sit back on my feet, not taking my hand off him. I examine his eyes, his breathing, his pulse, and his desire. He may say he doesn't want me to but I don't think he means it.

"You don't want me to?" I inquire, disappointment rising. I want to do this for him. I could be wrong. I love it when his mouth is on me but maybe that isn't something he would enjoy. He frowns at my question.

"That's not it," he says. "I ... that ... _Tris_." He's as tongue-tied as I get sometimes.

"Please be honest with me, Tobias," I say. "Do you want my mouth on you or not?" He looks at me for a full minute before he answers.

"Yes, I do," he roughly says. I get back up on my knees, kneeling between his spread legs. I never stop the slow rhythm my hand has created, and I just look at him. I really don't have a clue what to do. I think about what he does to me. He uses his mouth and tongue but he also uses his lips and teeth a little.

"If you don't like something, tell me," I whisper. "Okay?" He nods at me as his breath hitches in his throat. I remember the first time he used his mouth and fingers on me. I remember the confusion that went through my head but I also remember the intense pleasure I didn't even know was possible. I wonder what's going on in his mind right now. I realize I'm stalling. If I hesitate for too long, he's not going to let me try this.

I stop the stroking and tentatively touch my lips to the side of his throbbing, hard shaft with a kiss, and he gasps for air. I look up into his eyes and take my tongue and gently glide it from the base of his erection up to just below the head, and he grasps the shower seat until his knuckles are white with exertion. My heart is beating a crazy rhythm in my chest as I slowly repeat the action over and over. I look up into his glazed eyes with a shy little smile, my inexperience showing.

I move my mouth up and use just the tip of my tongue to lightly circle around the head, and an intense guttural moan escapes his lips. He seems to like what I'm doing. He moves one of his hands to the back of my head and tangles his fingers in my hair. He's careful not to apply any pressure but I can tell he's holding himself back. He wants more. I decide to face this new fear, and I take his length into my mouth, sucking gently to create a suction. When I feel him at the back of my throat I move back up. I realize there's no way his entire length will fit in my mouth so I make up the difference with my hand. I create a slow rhythm at first trying to synchronize my movements. It doesn't take me very long until I'm successful, and I increase the speed. He's moaning almost constantly now.

"Tris ... oh God ... Tris," he says. "Shit ... damn ... Tris, you're gonna have to stop ... _please_ , Tris ... oh, it feels _so_ good." He hangs on the so until it's at least 10 syllables long. Incredibly, I feel him swell even larger in my mouth. After a while he tenses, and I know what's going to happen but I don't stop. I keep up the steady rhythm with my mouth and hand. When I feel his body stiffen, I hold him fully in my mouth but continue the movement with my hand. He arches his back, screams my name, and unloads his passion into my mouth. I continue the movement of my hand on his incredibly still-hard shaft until he's fully emptied himself into me. It isn't the best thing in the world that I've tasted but it's not that bad so I decide to swallow the remains since most of it slid straight down my throat anyway. I move my mouth away from him, and I let go of his length. I keep my shy eyes on him until he opens his to look at me. I'm holding my breath until I know how he feels.

"Wow," he says right before his mouth crashes into mine. He kisses me savagely until we're both gasping for air. "I love you so much." I smile brilliantly at him.

He stands up and helps me to his feet. He finally shuts the water off, and we step out into the chilly air of the bathroom, and I involuntarily shiver. He wraps a towel around me then picks up one for himself. I dry myself then towel dry my hair as he's drying himself off. I think we both know we aren't finished. I catch a glimpse behind his towel at his fully erect manhood and look up into his eyes. I let my towel fall to the floor and take him by the hand. He drops his towel as I lead him into the bedroom. Together we strip the bed down to its bare necessities and lie next to one another.

"You really didn't have to do that you know," he say, running his hands through my damp hair.

"I wanted to," I say, realizing I never told him that. I lightly run my hand down his shoulder and arm and lace my fingers with his. I feel the shyness coming back, and I can't quite bring myself to meet his eyes. "Did you like it? Did I do okay?"

"Are you kidding me?" he says, forcing my chin up so he can look in my eyes. "You were incredible. That was ... _amazing_. I loved it and I can't imagine it getting any better than what you just did." This time a shy look comes over his face. "Did you like it?" Did I?

"Yeah, I did," I say, hiding my head. "Do you like it when you do that to me?"

"Yes," he says, not having to think about it. "Knowing I can give you that kind of pleasure. It's kind of ..."

"Intoxicating?" I finish. He smiles brightly at me and suddenly his mouth is on mine again. He kisses me until I can't think straight. I break away, pulling in a lungful of air as his mouth finds the sensitive spot below my left ear. He lightly licks, sucks, then finally bites the spot, and I find the familiar pressure building just below my navel, and my stomach muscles tighten. "Make love to me, Tobias. _Please_. I need you inside me."

We're both too turned on to take things slowly. He rolls so he's on top of me. He moves his mouth to mine and kisses me passionately as he places himself at my entrance. He slowly enters me, an inch or two at a time, until he's deeply inside me. He doesn't move. He just stares down into my eyes. I wrap my arms around his neck and lock my ankles around his waist. He lowers his mouth to mine as he pulls almost all the way out of me then slowly pushes fully in. He starts a slow, familiar pace at first, and I meet every one of his thrusts with one of my own.

"I want on top," I say in between kisses, and he rolls us so I can take control. I put my hands on either side of his head and force myself down on his hard length as he thrusts upward. I rock against him for a long time, my orgasm slowly building.

"Can I be on top?" he asks, looking up into my face. I lower my lips to his as I anxiously impale myself on his massive manhood as I move myself and him closer to shared bliss and give him a passionate kiss. When I pull back I nod at him, and he rolls us again. He slams into me over and over again, and I meet his thrusts and match them. He reaches down and wraps his arms around my knees, opening my small body to further accommodate each of his powerful thrusts. I'm so close now to the familiar cliff that all I need is a little nudge. I move with him, never missing a single beat. I feel him tense above me as he explodes deep within my body just as I convulse around him in soul shattering pleasure. He collapses on top of me, and I take his full weight. When my breathing returns to normal, I caress his face to make him look at me.

"Do you realize we only made love for the first time two weeks ago today?" I ask, still caressing his face. He nods and leans over me on his forearms taking part of his weight off me. He knows I like to feel him even without me telling him. "It's been an incredible two weeks, Tobias. Promise me something."

"Anything," he says, a serious look on his face.

"Promise me it will always be this way. I don't ever want to go a day without this intense yearning that I feel for you. I would be lost without it."

"I can't imagine it being any other way," he says. "As long as you want me this way, I'll be here to make love to you."

"There will never be a time when I don't want that ... want you," I say. "There might be times when I'm tired, or sick, or grouchy but I'll always want you. I love you too much not to."

"I love you, too," he says. He rolls us so we're on our sides but he's still buried within me. "I feel so comfortable ... so at ease now that the nonsense with the lists is over."

"Yeah, me too," I say.

"Now we can look forward to the next chapter in our life," he says, gently stroking my hair. "Getting married, having babies, raising our family."

"This is the beginning of our happily ever after, isn't it?" I say to Tobias. "I can't wait." I draw him closer to me for another kiss, desire spreading through me once again. His cellphone vibrates on the nightstand but we ignore it until it stops. Almost immediately it vibrates again. He moves away from me and picks up the phone. I can tell by the look on his face he doesn't know who it's from.

"Hello," he says in his typical Four voice. He listens intently to the person on the other end of the phone, and his face falls with each word said. "We'll be there as soon as we can." He hangs up the phone and turns to look at me with a grave expression on his face. "There's something wrong with the baby."


End file.
